Boris Johnson

Tickle Me NATO

cjones12072019

Do you remember Trump’s campaign promise to make the world laugh at us to the point that he’d leave NATO summits early in a snit? Me neither.

In fact, Trump claimed that under Obama, the world was laughing at us and his presidency would end it. And then…the world literally laughed in his face.

During a speech before the United Nations, the entire congregation erupted in laughter at him. The reason being, you say stupid shit, people laugh at you. Trump, who was used to speaking before large audiences of stupid people at his hate rallies, claimed he had accomplished more than nearly any other president before him. Later, he claimed they were laughing “with him.” Someone who confuses respect with being manipulated would say something like that.

No, Donald. They’re not laughing with you. The reason the world is laughing at you, and everyone who supports you, is because you’re a ridiculous, stupid human being. You’re orange. Your hair doesn’t resemble anything that would grow on a human scalp. You’re racist. You’re an idiot. You’re a liar. You say stupid shit.

Trump says stupid shit to the point world leaders notice and laugh about it. As Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was caught on a hot mic saying, it makes your staff’s jaws drop to the floor. Trudeau was referring to Trump publicly stating at the last G7 summit that he’d host the next one at one of his crappy, bedbug-ridden golf resorts.

Later, Trump said Trudeau was “two-faced” for the comments. This from a man who throws people under the bus. This from the guy who later claims his indicted campaign manager didn’t work on his campaign very long, or that another indicted staffer was just a coffee boy, or that he barely knows an ambassador who donated a million dollars to his inauguration committee. This from a guy who was recorded by Omarosa stating her firing was a surprise to him. This from a coward who has other people do his firing. This from a guy who has cheated on each of his three wives.

Trump’s hypocrisy was in full swing at this NATO summit without “summit” in the name because an official summit would require a joint statement which Trump would only fuck up.

Trump said the statement that NATO was suffering “brain death” from France’s President Emmanuel Macron was “nasty.” Never mind the fact that Trump has insulted every member of the alliance and called it “obsolete” while cuddling close to Putin. Trump has acted more like a member of the Warsaw Pact than like a member of NATO.

But then again, Trump doesn’t understand NATO as he’s speculated on Brazil becoming a member. NATO stands for North Atlantic Treaty Organization and is a European-North American alliance. In case you’re a Republican, Brazil is in SOUTH America and isn’t on the North Atlantic. If anything, Trump should speculate on Ukraine becoming a member of NATO, but that would upset Putin. Instead, he’d rather invite Putin to join the European Union.

The hot mic exchange didn’t just involve Trudeau with underlings. It was between him, Macron, Princess Anne, and even Boris Johnson, who many expected would be a Trump acolyte. What’s next, Boris cracking on Trump’s hair?

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham blared that it’s “great news” other nations are laughing at us because they’re “elite.” OK then. Why wasn’t it “great” when they were supposedly laughing at us during a Democratic administration? It’s hard to spin being laughed at.

I hope Trump being laughed at would be enlightening to his supporters, just as being called out for his lies while seated next to Macron should be. But Trump supporters aren’t capable of enlightenment.

Trump said during his presidential campaign, “We need a President who isn’t a laughingstock to the entire World.” He was right then and maybe it’s another reason to impeach this laughingstock.

When Trump says stupid shit like claiming windmill noise causes cancer, his supporters try to explain it as a joke, which is ironic since they don’t get they are the joke. They voted for the joke. They’re supporting the joke. Trump and his supporters are only inadvertently funny.

America’s stock has gone down since we became a laughingstock. For Trump and his supporters, they literally need laughter translated to understand they are the joke.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Ring-a-Ling Zelensky

cjones10012019

Volodymyr Zelensky, the president of Ukraine, is about to learn the hard way that everything Donald Trump touches…dies.

Zelensky ran on a campaign of fighting corruption. So imagine his horror when the transcript of his phone call with Donald Trump was released exposing him patronizing Trump’s conspiracy theories as well as expressing a willingness to assist Trump in bringing down his political opponents.

In case you’re a Republican, accepting help from a foreign government in your election is illegal. Hell, Mike Pence knows it. During his vice-presidential debate with Tim Kaine, he made a passionate argument that foreign governments can’t be involved in our political campaigns. But then again, Mike Pence has abandoned a lot of his previous positions to serve Trump.

Zelensky stated yesterday that he wasn’t pressured by Donald Trump to investigate the Bidens, who have not been implicated in anything corrupt in Ukraine. But the transcript shows there was intense pressure from Trump. Trump stated the U.S. has been very good to Ukraine but it hasn’t been reciprocal. As Zelensky talked about purchasing anti-tank missiles, Trump pivoted to asking for a “favor.” Yes, he used that word. Then, he dived into the Biden conspiracy, asking for it to be investigated. Zelensky made it clear that he had talked to Trump’s private lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. Trump asked him to speak with him again and that he’d also connect him with the U.S. attorney general, William Barr.

OK, two things. Why is Trump’s personal lawyer acting as a government lawyer and why is the attorney general acting like Trump’s personal lawyer? Despite being mentioned in this conversation, William Barr is not recusing himself from any of the investigations. This is not fighting corruption. This is corruption.

What really came to a shock to many in Ukraine was Zelensky’s statement, “The next prosecutor will be 100 percent my person.” Prosecutors in Ukraine, much like the attorney general in the U.S., are supposed to be independent, not anybody’s “person.” Zelensky’s got some ‘zlaining to do.

Zelensky’s best defense will be to argue that he was patronizing Trump because that’s every nation’s strategy that wants something from the United States. Kiss Trump’s ass and flatter his ego. Zelensky did that earlier in the call by saying he used some of Trump’s campaign techniques for his own campaign. His best bet will be to say he was agreeing with Trump without any intention of following through because there’s nothing really to follow through with, unless they make some crap up.  There isn’t any dirt on Biden. There’s no there there, as Republicans like to say.

Joe Biden called for a Ukrainian prosecutor to be removed. It’s argued that he wanted him removed because the prosecutor was investigating his son, Hunter Biden. That’s not true. The prosecutor had actually dropped an investigation into the company where Hunter was on the board. Hunter Biden himself was never being investigated. The position to remove the prosecutor wasn’t just Biden’s. It was the position of the United States and the European Union. In fact, those fighting corruption in Ukraine wanted the prosecutor removed.

The question to ask Trump and every other Republican is, what are you investigating? Are you investigating that there needs to be an investigation? I mean, what did Hunter Biden do? What criminal act is there? Can you at least make something up other than screaming he’s corrupt? Seriously, pay attention to what they’re saying on the news. What you’re not hearing are actual allegations.

Trump’s defense here is that he engaged in corruption to root out corruption. Now, most Republicans are saying there’s no “quid pro quo,” despite the fact there doesn’t have to be (even though in the phone call, there is).

Several Republicans are arguing that by releasing the transcript of the phone call, other foreign leaders will be hesitant to talk to Trump out of fear the conversations won’t be private. So the argument is, they’re afraid to talk to Trump because he’s stupid and corrupt and he’ll drag them down with him? The truth is, that stupid ship sailed and sank around the time Trump gave away classified information to Russians in the Oval Office. Classified information he acquired from an ally…and then gave to an enemy. Yeah, methinks the trust in Trump went bye-bye a long time ago.

If world leaders don’t know they can’t trust Trump, then they shouldn’t be leading their nations. Quite frankly, nobody should be as dumb as the United States to place an idiot like Donald Trump at the head of their government…except the United Kingdom, oh, and Israel.

I hope Zelensky has call waiting.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Toadies Over Tories

cjones09132019

Imagine if Lindsey Graham called Donald Trump a “race-baiting, xenophobic bigot,” but today, not back in 2015. Imagine if Devin Nunes demanded a fair investigation into Russian meddling in our election instead of running to the White House under the cover of darkness to align talking points. Imagine if Jim Jordan and Matt Gaetz demanded accountability from Donald Trump and didn’t just sit on committees shouting down those who did. Imagine if Ted Cruz had a backbone and could remember Donald Trump accused his father of murder and insulted his wife’s looks. Imagine any of the Trump kids being anything other than mindless remoras.

Like Donald Trump, Boris Johnson did not become the leader of his nation with a mandate. Instead, both men assumed power with the support of a minority of their citizens. Most people, not just in the United States and the United Kingdom, but worldwide, detest both men. Johnson became prime minister after his predecessor, Theresa May, failed to get a Brexit deal through Parliament. Johnson promised a Brexit deal and called his critics “doubters, doomsters, and gloomsters.” Now it turns out, those “doubters, doomsters, and gloomsters” aren’t just in the opposition or even in his own party, but also in his own family.

Britain didn’t think there could be a worse prime minister than Theresa May. Just as we were in our opinions about George W. Bush, they were wrong.

Johnson lost every one of his first votes in Parliament. He expelled 21 members from his party for voting against him, thus removing his majority. The biggest humiliation for Boris was when his own brother, Jo Johnson, resigned from parliament this week saying he was “torn between family loyalty and the national interest.”

If only the Republican Party would put the national interest over the cult of Donald Trump. Even the ones who don’t want to play along anymore would rather resign than stand against Russian meddling, racism, defending Nazis, or Trump’s ignorance and stupidity. They would rather take their ball and go home than to stop pretending Donald Trump is NOT a narcissistic pathological liar whose hatred and dumbfuckery are tearing the nation apart. None will speak out on Trump taking money from the military for his racist border wall. The GOP won’t even speak out on Trump’s grifting and his using the presidency to increase his wealth.

While Trump boasts that he donates his $400,000-a-year salary back to the government, his golf trips have cost taxpayers, so far, over $110 million. Forbes speculates it’ll eventually be over $340 million. He’s spent over 200 days at his own resorts, which puts government money into his pocket. He’s proposing that the next G7 Summit be held at one of his failing clubs arguing it’s a great idea because it’s close to an airport. Meanwhile, Mike Pence went three hours out of his way to stay at Trump’s Irish golf resort, which involved an hour-long motorcade from his hotel to the airport to get back to Dublin.

Pence’s business in Ireland was in Dublin, but on his boss’s “suggestion,” he decided to stay 140 miles away at Trump’s Doonbeg club, continuing the Trump administration’s pattern of corruption. Additionally, it was reported this week that Pence’s PAC has spent a quarter of a million dollars at Trump properties. Don’t expect the attorney general to look into any matters of emoluments, as he plans to spend $30,000 of his own money on a party at Trump’s D.C. hotel.

Pence isn’t the only good Trump toad. At least 24 of the 32 people who have served in Trump’s cabinet (which is another issue as there are only 15 cabinet positions) and 26 (that we know of) of the 53 Republicans have spent money at Trump’s hotels, totaling (so far) over $20 million. Pence called his out-of-the-way stay at Douchebag, er…Doonbeg, “logical.” For Republicans throwing money, theirs and yours at Trump properties, it’s also logical.

Donald Trump is about the Benjamins. Trump is very easy to manipulate with flattery and one way to flatter the man is to throw money at him. It’s why foreign governments make sure to book Trump hotel rooms when they’re in the country, even when like the Saudis, they don’t actually stay there (and if you’re really going to stay at the best, you don’t stay at Trump).

The United Kingdom followed America in installing a boorish, unpopular, racist as their leader. Now, the United States needs to follow the UK’s lead and put the nation over the manbaby in the White House.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Boris Baby

cjones07302019

Boris Johnson is the new prime minister of the United Kingdom and not the “United Kingston” as Ivanka Trump tweeted. The Princess of Nepotism underscores just how much we have in common with our greatest ally, and that is stupid, narcissistic, racist leadership that may destroy our countries.

And the two leaders, Trump and Johnson, have a lot in common. They were both born in New York City and wear bleached dead wombats on their heads. They’re both liars, Boris lost a newspaper job for plagiarism and even lied about Brexit which helped lead to its passing. Trump lied about Brexit too, claiming he stood in Scotland the day before Brexit predicting it would pass, but the fact is, he was in Scotland the day AFTER Brexit passed, predicting it would cause the collapse of the European Union, something he and Vladimir Putin would rejoice over.

As The Guardian compares them, “Both are loudmouthed man-children, with a history of adultery and other scandals, whose professional success is a combination of immense privilege, unscrupulous opportunism, and relentless self-promotion, all happily promoted by a complicit environment.”

Both are bigots. Just last week, Trump told black women to “Go back to where you came from.” In the past, Boris has referred to Africans as “pickaninnies” with “watermelon smiles,” to writing in a column for The Daily Telegraph that Muslim women wearing burqas look like “mailboxes,” “bank robbers” and “letter bombers.” He’s referred to gay men as “tank-topped bumboys” and female Labor MPs as “hot totties.”

Another thing they have in common is that they were both put into office by a minority of the population. Boris actually has a smaller mandate than Trump, who won roughly 46% of the popular vote, coming in behind Hillary Clinton by nearly three million votes. Boris was chosen by the membership of the Conservative party, which accounts for roughly 0.2% of the British population. Boris’ electorate is actually older and whiter than Trump’s. Both men will refuse to be leaders of their entire nations and will cater to just their base, which is racist white people.

Trump ran for president promising to build a wall on the southern border and Mexico would pay for it. Boris lied with a xenophobic strategy as well during the Brexit campaign, claiming Turkey would join the European Union and become a back door for Syrian refugees to enter the UK. Then, he promised to build a wall on the French border and make Syria pay for it (I made that part up).

Both men are prone to attack the physical appearances of others despite the way they look. Trump insulted then-presidential candidate Carly Fiorina’s face, called Rosie O’Donnell “fat” and “ugly,” and even called a winner of his Miss Universe pageant “Miss Piggy,” despite the fact he looks like a rancid muppet. Boris once said that Vladimir Putin looked like Dobby, the house elf from Harry Potter.

It’s interesting that within another similarity, you find that one difference. Neither man would be in the top office of their respective nations today without an assist from Putin, yet Johnson will criticize Putin while Trump only lavishes worship and praise on the Russian strongman.

When Putin said, “The liberal idea had outlived its purpose,” and “the liberal idea has become obsolete.” Boris said history would prove Putin wrong. Trump, being unable to comprehend that Putin was attacking western democracies and not his Democratic Party rivals and liberals in California, rejoiced in Putin’s statement and added that Putin “congratulated” him as “every other leader of every other country” had done.

OK, that’s another difference. Boris can read and comprehend.

Before the Brexit vote, the Russian government was interfering by promoting false information on social media with Twitter bots and Russian troll farms in a similar manner in which they meddled in the U.S. presidential election in favor of Donald Trump. Cambridge Analytica aided both campaigns and may have coordinated with Russia to spread their propaganda.

If there was no Russian meddling, Trump wouldn’t be in the White House and Boris wouldn’t be moving into 10 Downing Street today. Right now, Putin must be happy despite looking a lot like Dobby.

These two babies belong to Putin but its the rest of us who will have to clean up their mess.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.