Gator Reinstator


Cjones06072021

First, I’d like to point out I’ve been rocking this blog since 2013. Donald Trump’s blog didn’t last 30 days.

Trump’s blog, “From the Desk of Donald J. Trump,” and touted as a “beacon of freedom,” lasted only 29 days, killed because nobody was reading it. That’s the problem when your base consists of illiterate morons. At least with Twitter, many of the people who followed him weren’t fans, but followed to see what dumb shit he said. They were on Twitter anyway and didn’t have to exert themselves to get their fill of Trump lunacy. Also, a lot of his numbers were Russian bots. A lot of his followers weren’t actual people. It’s kinda like Trump World Tower where Russians bought 65 units that nobody lives in. Weird.

Now, it’s on to the next product, which is a new social media site that his team is promising will be the hottest thing since Trump Wine, Trump Steaks, Trump Airline, Trump Casinos, Trump Toast, Trump Magazine, Trump Board Game, etc, etc.

He ordered his staff to snuff out the blog because it was being mocked. Why doesn’t he do that with everything he does? His entire presidency was mocked…and we’re still mocking him. According to unnamed Trump goons, he hates looking like a loser which is difficult when you’re a loser.

It’s fun to make fun of a lunatic who believes he’s going to be magically reinstated as president this summer. In case you’re a Republican, we don’t do that. We’re not going to use the results of a corrupt recount in Arizona, then tell President Biden to move out so Hair Fuhrer can move back in.

It’s also funny that one of Trump’s top advisers is the MyPillow Guy. It’s not even worth saying his name anymore…and if Trump is reinstated and he brings the pillow guy along as his new vice president, he’ll be Vice-President MyPillow Guy. I hear he can’t wait to get crackin’.

There is a real danger that this lunatic is telling people he’ll be president again, and not from an election, but from some sort of weird non-existent mandate from white nationalists. His followers have already committed a terrorist attack. We’re in danger of Donald Trump sending them back to commit another. One adviser it encouraging a Myanmar-style coup to a base that can’t spell “Myanmar,” and another adviser it talking about a new inauguration day.

So, if prosecutors are not going to charge Trump and send him to prison, for the good of the nation and in the interest of national security, we should let the gators have him. Golf course gators gotta eat too.

Trump’s blog got fewer hits than PetFinder and the recipe site, Delish. I would like to find some gators as pets who may find Trump delicious.

The only way my plan doesn’t work is if the gators have taste. We may have to starve them for a while so their standards get lower and they find Trump appetizing. I’m sorry, that’s cruel. We shouldn’t starve gators.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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5 comments

  1. Just prior to reading this, I shared a meme that stated: “A man who can’t get reinstated on Twitter says he will get reinstated as president.” This would all be funny, if it weren’t so dangerous.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. The day Trumpelstiltorangeskin gets reinstated as President of the United States of America, I will restate my happiness at being Canadian, though I doubt our country is any better than yours, except, we don’t have Trump. Unfortunately we do have Mr. MINI-TRUMP himself, Jason Kenney, so I cannot gloat very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It came to me (horrifically so) that I have something in common with the drumpster: 1) I’ve been banned from Twitter, ’cause I won’t give them my phone number; 2) I’ve been banned from YouTube, ’cause I complained vociferously about the promoters of The Big Lie being allowed to pontificate thereon, as well as the crazy evangelicals doing so; and 3) I’ve been banned from NextDoorTarponWoods [a neighborhood online bulletin board], ’cause I complained vociferously (I do like that word) about the political comments made thereon, DESPITE POLICIES BANNING ANYTHING POLITICAL BEING PROMOTED.

    Of course, those on YouTube and NDTW who were politicizing and proselytizing are still allowed to do so.

    Actually, these three have done me a favor; I no longer go down the rabbit hole of shite, my blood pressure is better and so is my depression. I’ve made no effort to become reinstated with any of ’em.

    Like

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