You’re Fired

Loser


cjones11232020

Donald Trump’s catch phrase from his fake reality show was “you’re fired.” He loves to present himself as a heavy-handed boss in total control with absolute authority. He fears nothing. In reality, he sends goons and henchmen to do his firing…when he’s not firing people over Twitter. Why does he do it this way? Because he’s a coward.

Donald Trump is more of an assortment of terrible personality traits than he is a human being. He’s racist, narcissistic, sexist, selfish, corrupt, stupid, clueless, immature, and a coward. He’s also ugly with a combover and orange goop on his face and wants to date his daughter. Find all that on a Hallmark card.

He didn’t fire James Comey to his face. In fact, he made sure Comey was out of town when he was fired. The same went for Rex Tillerson, who was on a plane…and according to some reports, on a toilet. He had one person fired because he testified against him…then had the witnesses’ brother fired because he looked like him. And since the election, Donald Trump has gone on a firing spree.

Donald Trump claimed he’d hire the “best people.” Actually, his administration has probably set a record for the number of former officials who have spoken out against it. And when he fires someone, their replacement is usually worse. Much worse. Was Mike Pompeo an improvement over Rex Tillerson? Who could have imagined Donald Trump could find a worse Attorney General, William Barr, than Jeff Sessions? You have to give it to Donald Trump. He’s really good at finding the worst possible people to put in the absolute worst places.

The people Donald Trump has fired since the election haven’t been dismissed because they’re not good at their jobs. No, they’ve been fired because they aren’t deemed sycophantic enough. To work for Donald Trump, you don’t have to actually be good at your job. You either have to be a total sycophant like Mike Pence, or his daughter. Tell me she has a clue about anything that’s going on.

Since the election, Donald Trump has fired 12 people. There will be more. On that list are Department of Homeland Security officials Bryan Ware and Valerie Boyd. He fired Defense Department’s chief of staff, Jen Stewart on November 10. Also on November 10 were the Pentagon’s undersecretary of defense Joseph Kernan, a retired Navy SEAL, and the Pentagon’s top policy official James Anderson, who both officially resigned but we know they were forced out.

He fired Secretary of Defense, Mark Esper, who publicly disagreed with Trump’s teargassing protesters for a photo-op. Three other Pentagon firings occurred shortly after.

Also “not fired” was The head of the Department of Justice’s election crime branch Richard Pilger, who quit in protest over William Barr using the agency to enable Donald Trump’s conspiracy theories regarding election fraud.

Trump fired Lisa Gordon-Hagerty, the administrator of the National Nuclear Security Administration; Bonne Glick, the deputy administrator of the U.S. agency for International Development; and Neil Chatterjee, the chairman of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission. They were all nerds.

Speaking of nerds, Trump fired Michael Kuperberg, the scientist who oversees climate change for the U.S. Global Change Research Program and will be replaced with a science skeptic.

This week, he fired Chris Krebs, the director of the Department of Homeland Security’s Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency after his agency released a statement refuting Trump’s claims of widespread voter fraud. In fact, the statement said this election was the “most secure in our nation’s history.” Trump fired him along with a response to the “most secure” statement, saying, “was not!”.

Mark Esper says his replacement will be a “real yes man, and then God help us. Fortunately, the “yes man” will only be on the job until January.

Trump is expected to fire Gina Haspel, the director of the CIA and possibly Christopher Wray, the director of the FBI. The director of the FBI usually serves a ten-year term. Donald Trump is on his second.

Trump isn’t just firing people who hurt his feelings or don’t support his crackpot bullshit, but people who may stand in the way of him stealing this election from the American public.

We knew before Donald Trump was placed in power in 2016 that he’s a horrible person and unfit for the office. But everything he’s done since the election, putting himself before the nation and willing to destroy to seek revenge, is another confirmation that he doesn’t belong. Trump’s actions are reassurances America made the right choice in selecting Joe Biden over him. America, you were right to fire Donald Trump. Good job.

Donald Trump lost the election. He’s a one-term president (sic). He’s a loser. And there’s no amount of firings that will change any of that. Right now, he’s firing people because he got fired.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

You’re Fired


cjones11102020

There’s a line in The 40-Year-Old Virgin that has come to my mind. It is, “Dude, get the fuck out of here.”

The toadies, the followers, the sycophants, the cult, and the MAGAts are screaming and crying that the guy who asked Russia if they were listening in 2016 and asked Ukraine for help in 2019 is now being cheated.

The cult is upset that the bulk of mail-in ballots are heavy in Joe Biden’s favor, forgetting that they didn’t vote early or by mail. They’re forgetting their cultist leader told them not to vote early.

The cult is forgetting that it’s not unique to take days to count ballots. They don’t understand election day ballots were counted first in most locations. Because of this, a come-from-behind victory for Joe Biden in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Georgia look funny. They’re calling fraud. They believe it’s fraud that all ballots are counted and that every vote counts. They blame Democratic Party-run states forgetting that Georgia is controlled by Republicans.

They believe Biden gaining an advantage after they had the lead is fraudulent, except in Arizona.

They forget that President Obama called Hillary Clinton and suggested she concede the election. They forget President Obama was presidential and cooperated with a transfer of power. They forget that President Obama sat through Donald Trump’s inauguration and cringe-worthy American carnage speech.

Now, the crowd who called us “snowflakes” and spent four years “owning the libs” are being a bunch of crybaby snowflakes.

These cultists have proven time and time again they put the cult of personality above policy. They have put Donald Trump before democracy. Their complaints about the vote count is hypocritical, whiny, and stupid. Their only argument is that counting didn’t stop after Trump had the lead. They demand that the counting stop now not realizing that if we did stop counting now, Joe Biden would win.

Like Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden won the popular vote. Unlike Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden also won the Electoral College. When the other candidate gets more votes than you, you have a lousy argument for winning the election. Elections have consequences. You lost. Get over it.

So of course, lousy winners make for lousy losers. Should I care about their feelings during this? Nope. I don’t care.

Now, there are reports that nobody in the White House wants to be the bearer of bad news. Nobody wants to tell Donald Trump he has lost. In that case, I will be glad to go back up to Washington and accept the task of delivering the bad news to Donald Trump because unlike Republicans, I am not afraid of him.

I will be more than happy to look Donald Trump in the eye, this person who’s more a collection of bad personality traits than human who spent four years lying to us from a position he never belonged in, “Dude, get the fuck out of here. Get out of our house.”

You’re fired.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Upcoming Massacre


cjones09292018

Were you confused yesterday? I was. Initial reports in the morning said Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein was on his way to the White House to submit his resignation after The New York Times reported that he discussed wearing a wire tape to record Trump and invoking the 25th Amendment to remove him from office.

Then, reports said Chief of Staff John Kelly wouldn’t accept his resignation, or he did, but Rosenstein refused to allow him to accept it, and that he’d only turn it over to Trump. That’s weird because Trump was in New York City for the United Nation’s General Assembly. Rosenstein knew that.

Later reports said that Rosenstein refused to allow himself to be fired unless it was face-to-face from Trump.

Rosenstein expected to be fired on Monday and the Justice Department was drafting a statement about who would succeed him. Rosenstein is overseeing the Special Counsel’s Russia investigation. Trump has barked for months about how the Justice Department, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and Rosenstein have failed to defend him. In NYC, Trump said Rosenstein, who he has referred to as “Mr. Peepers,” wasn’t his guy, and he wasn’t involved in his hiring, though he had to approve it. As it stands now, Trump and Rosenstein will be meeting this Thursday.

I don’t expect Rosenstein to be fired this week. Firing him could lead to obstruction of justice charges (on top of the others that may be forthcoming). I do expect there to be firings after the midterms, which Trump and Republicans have been telegraphing, winking, nudging, and nodding about for months.

They’re afraid if there’s a Trumpian version of Nixon’s Saturday night massacre before the midterms, it will hurt them with voters. So, let’s just tell the voters we’ll do it after Election Day? Are they that stupid? Yes. The Trump White House is that stupid. They still haven’t found the “anonymous” guy who wrote The New York Times Op-Ed about what a dangerous and stupid little man Trump is. This is the same White House staffed with people who willingly committed career suicide by working for this White House.

This entire episode has given us another example of the new normal which most people have overlooked because we’re getting used to it. No, not Trump’s latest tweet where we excuse him for confusing “acquisition” for “accusation.” They’re big words. Give him a few minutes.

No. The new normal is The Deputy Attorney General having to deny he discussed wearing a wire to record Trump and invoking the 25th Amendment. That wouldn’t be a story for other administrations unless it was in the Weekly World News or the National Enquirer, and it wouldn’t even be acknowledged like they never had to deny “First Lady adopts three-headed space alien baby.”

But, this White House has to deny it because it’s logical and believable. If a story came out about Trump catching gonorrhea from a skanky badger, this White House would have to deny it. What I don’t find believable is that nobody in this administration has discussed invoking the 25th.

Did Rosenstein talk about wearing a wire? I think so but I doubt he seriously intended himself to be the covert operative. That would have made him a witness in an investigation he’s overseeing. Did he talk about the 25th? Sure, but he doesn’t have any say in that. That’s for cabinet members to deliberate, unless Rosenstein believes he can pull some strings.

I will be surprised if there’s not a massive bloodletting the day after the midterms. It’s going to be like an average Wednesday at a Gatehouse newspaper (people in my industry will get that reference). In fact, doing it the day after will be a good way for Trump to change the subject from the GOP’s massive defeat from the Blue Wave.

Of course, another distraction would be that skanky badger story.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Buh Bye, Bannon


cjones08222017

The narcissistic uncontrollable racist has been kicked out of the White House. No, not that one. Calm down. The other racists in the White House. OK, one of the other racists in the White House. Steve Bannon is out.

Anthony Scaramucci said in an interview that he didn’t realize was an interview, that Steve Bannon was “sucking his own cock.” Of course, Bannon doesn’t have the physical or flexible capabilities to do that (I doubt he can bend over to tie his own shoes), but he was fully able to fuck himself.

So, how did Steve Bannon fuck himself? In a White House with a higher turnover rate than Gatehouse Media (newspaper people will get that reference), Bannon upstaged the boss. You don’t upstage the boss when he’s a narcissistic man-baby.

Bannon gave an interview, that he also didn’t realize was an interview, which he initiated with The American Prospect, a progressive publication. In that interview, Bannon said there was no military option to dealing with North Korea. That undercuts what the administration has been saying over the past two weeks.

Bannon also gave comments hoping to use the tragedy in Charlottesville to push his Alt-Right agenda. That would get you fired from any administration except the Trump administration.

What really screwed Bannon were his comments on who HE could replace in the administration, other departments, and taking credit for Trump’s “accomplishments,” whatever the hell those are. You can’t upstage the boss, and you especially can’t make comments alluding to being his puppet master. We all know Putin’s the puppet master.

The White House describes Bannon’s departure as a “mutual decision.” Yeah, if you believe that then I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. But be warned, there’s a lot of Jews in Brooklyn.

After Trump’s comments on Charlottesville where he equated peace activists with Nazis, he’s losing support in Washington. Republicans have come out against him with three…oh my god, threeo, mentioning him by name. The military has made statements disagreeing with his comments on race. He’s even losing business at his ridiculous golf resorts over the comments. Thankfully for Trump, he still has the racist base of dumbasses to rely on. But, does he?

There are reports that Bannon will now be pissing in the White House instead of pissing out. A source close to Bannon told one outlet to prepare for “Bannon the Barbarian.” Breitbart’s editor tweeted out that this is “war.” He ever hash-tagged “war,” which is serious.

There were signs that Trump was getting tired of Bannon. New Chief of Staff, General John Kelly doesn’t like the lunacy that Bannon’s backstabbing brings. Trump referred to him earlier in the week as “Mr. Bannon,” which is something he likes to do when he pretends he hardly knows someone, like Paul Manafort or Carter Page.

One problem still exists and that’s the fact Donald Trump is still in the White House. Bannon may have encouraged Trump’s racism, but Trump is old-school racist. He was piloting the birther campaign long before he brought Steve Bannon aboard his hate train. Trump will continue to enable and connect with Nazis without Bannon.

Now all the racist heavy lifting will be left to Trump, Stephen Miller, and Sebastian Gorka. Though it may be a challenge, I believe in them. They can do it!

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.