White House

Stranger Danger


cjones11232017

The three largest newspapers in Alabama are pleading with the state’s voters not to send Roy Moore to the United States Senate. The Birmingham News, The Mobile Press-Register, and The Huntsville Times (all owned by Alabama Media Group) don’t want the voters to embarrass Alabama.

While we’re wondering how so many people can defend and choose a suspected pedophile over a man who has prosecuted members of the KKK for killing children, let me remind you that this is not new territory.

In 2016 our choices were the most qualified person to ever run for the office of President of the United States and a man who didn’t exhibit any qualifications, knowledge, or capability for the job, and only displayed childish, immature, stupid, racist, and narcissistic tendencies, while spreading conspiracy theories and lies. It not only amazed me that people could be undecided in the days leading up to the election, but on Election Day, many voters chose the stupid candidate and put him in the White House.

Voters polled before the election gave Trump higher marks in honesty than Clinton despite the fact checkers grading over 90 percent of Trump statements as lies. I underestimated the stupidity and pettiness of the American voter. I don’t think we should underestimate it in Alabama.

Roy Moore’s defenders believe there’s a conspiracy against him. They “know” The Washington Post paid women to accuse him of sexual transgressions, one committed against a 14-year-old. They think the Democrats and the Republican establishment are after him.

One defender compared his actions to Joseph being with Mary because Joseph is supposedly older according to their mythology. While arguing he never committed any of the acts he’s accused of, his supporters find ways to justify them. And, then there are those who believe the accusations and still support him.

For Alabama Republicans, being a Democrat and believing in the separation of church and state and the U.S. Constitution is a greater sin than pedophilia. The governor said she believes Moore’s accusers, but she plans to vote for him anyway.

Last week, White House goon Kellyanne Conway said, “there is no Senate seat worth more than a child.” Now, it seems she’s had a change of heart and there is one Senate seat worth more than a child.

The White House and Trump have been very cowardly regarding Moore. Trump was wrong once in his endorsement for Alabama’s Senate seat and he doesn’t want to be wrong again. He’s afraid of upsetting his base, and in Alabama, his polls are extremely high. His supporters might be stupid, but he doesn’t want to lose them.

The White House has been trotting out the argument that Alabama voters need to select their next Senator. They don’t want to explicitly endorse a pedophile, but they also don’t want to discourage people from sending him to Washington.

Yesterday, Conway made comments on Fox & Friends that left even those nitwits confused. They weren’t sure if they should jump on the Moore bandwagon or what. Their directives from the White House are normally much clearer, and they’re not good with subtle hints.

Conway was arguing against Doug Jones, the Democrat facing Moore for the Senate seat. Conway said, “and Doug Jones in Alabama? Folks, don’t be fooled. He’ll be a vote against tax cuts. He’s weak on crime, weak on borders. He’s strong on raising your taxes. He’s terrible for property owners. And Doug Jones is a doctrinaire liberal, which is why he’s not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him.”

Co-host Brian Kilmeade asked, “so, vote Roy Moore?”

Conway initially seemed confused in how to reply before she responded, “I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” and then she remembered the art of deflection and turned it around on Al Franken with, “and if the media were really concerned about all these allegations and that’s what this was truly about … Al Franken would be on the ash heap of bygone, half-funny comedians. He wouldn’t be here on Capitol Hill.”

This is tribalism. They would rather get the worst of the worst and sacrifice their principles to pass their agenda. But, I could be wrong.

Maybe they’ve never had principles.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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General Kelly, Meet Captain Chaos


cjones08022017

“Oh and you know the thing about chaos, it’s fair.” – The Joker, The Dark Knight, 2008

Not every individual in the Trump administration is regarded as an incompetent loon, like Rick Perry, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Kellyanne Conway, etc. Rex Tillerson, General James “Mad Dog” Mattis, and H.R. McMaster have entered with respect and dignity in Washington only to see it all erode under the presidency of Trump.

Tillerson has a smaller staff than Jared Kushner and the man has stood by Trump’s side when he cuddled up to Putin. Mattis has trouble explaining an administration’s policies on defense when that administration dictates those policies by tweets. H.R. McMaster has gone before the press assuring the nation that Trump didn’t spill secrets to Russians in the Oval Office, only to have Trump undercut him by confirming that he gave secrets to the Russians.

Now General John Kelly is leaving his position as Secretary of Homeland Security to replace Reince Priebus as Chief of Staff. The idea here is that the White House staff will now actually report to the Chief of Staff. What a novel concept.

Kelly’s first act on his very first day on the job was to cut out one of the many cancers in the White House and fire Anthony Scaramucci. The Mooch was shit-canned ten days after being hired for a job he had not technically even started yet.

Trump loved The Mooch’s bombastic style as it resembles Trump’s own art of fuckery and self-destruction. Trump even endorsed the chaos and infighting Moochy brought to the team and told the guy that he wouldn’t report to the Chief of Staff, and would be supervised only by Trump. With the hiring of Mooch, out went Sean Spicer and a few days later, Priebus.

According to anonymous sources within the White House, one of Kelly’s terms of taking the job was to get rid of Scaramucci. The general did not want to run an organization full of infighting and backstabbing. The White House says Trump, the “pussy grabber,” couldn’t condone the language The Mooch used in a New Yorker interview. It probably didn’t help The Mooch’s standing with Trump that he was getting more attention.

Within the last ten days, Scaramucci was hired, attacked colleagues publicly, his wife filed for divorce and then gave birth while Scaramucci was traveling with Trump. That was just a little too much Page Six for The Donald.

Now Kelly is controlling the White House staff and everyone will report to him instead of having direct access to the president….except Ivanka, Jared, probably Stephen Bannon, Stephen Miller, and Putin.

But how will Kelly control the chaos when the commander and chief of chaos is in the Oval Office? Will he uninstall the Twitter app from Trump’s phone, explain to Trump the Nuclear Triad, prevent him from endorsing police brutality, make him stop lying about crowd sizes and wiretaps, or get him to cease from obstructing justice? How will Kelly help Trump stop obsessing over Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton? What sort of shiny objects will he use to distract Trump from Robert Mueller? Can he prevent Trump from writing press releases for Don Jr. that lie about his meetings with Russians? How will Kelly reply when asked to substantiate typical Donald Trump bullshit? Will the general refuse to back up lies or will he become less prestigious than that cartoon general who sells car insurance?

General Kelly commanded troops in Iraq, which is less of a quagmire than Trump’s hair or the chaotic gunk he sprays on his face.

Now The Mooch is out and the general can conduct a White House of substance and rationality…until Kellyanne Conway takes over as Communications Director. Good luck, General!

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Off-Camera Baby In The Corner


cjones06292017

To explain why the White House has started holding press briefings “off camera,” the very svelte Steve Bannon said, “Sean got fatter.”  While Spicy is indeed a chunky monkey, nobody actually believes Bannon’s hypocritical fat-shaming explanation.

Every president’s administration battles with the press. While Bill Clinton and Barack Obama had their issues with the media, Republicans use it as a campaign tactic. Both Bush administrations would print up bumper stickers which read “annoy the media. Vote Republican.” The media doesn’t care who you vote for.

The press has always had low approval ratings because people don’t like the bearers of bad news, or any news that conflicts with what they believe and wants to hear. Donald Trump and his collection of sycophants have gone beyond using the press as an opposition, and have fully labeled them as the “enemy of the American people.” Republicans love the Constitution, except for that pesky First Amendment thingy.

Not content with describing legitimate news outlets as “fake news” delivering hoaxes, Trump’s team is now conducting White House press briefings off camera. While they’re allowing audio, they’re not allowing the press to deliver that in real time. They have to wait until the briefing is over before they can play it for their audience. How lovely.

Trump’s biggest grudges are with The New York Times, The Washington Post, and CNN. The Times and Post have both been on a tear lately with their investigative reporting on Trump’s campaign and their involvement with Russia. It’s not “fake news” that both newspapers circulations have risen since the election of the man who hates news. When it comes to the press briefings, they’re shunning CNN’s Jim Acosta. They haven’t allowed him to ask a question for several weeks, or at least they won’t answer them. His question “Why don’t we turn the cameras on?” went unanswered. Sean Spicer pretended he didn’t hear the question and moved on to another reporter.

On Tuesday, deputy spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders went on a rant about news organizations reporting, again, “fake news.” She brought up a recent incident where CNN had to retract a story on the Russia investigation and three of their journalists resigned over the transgression. What she and other conservatives don’t understand is that’s how an actual news organization handles a mistake. How many people have resigned from Fox News or Breitbart over false reports, which are published on their outlets quite frequently.

The White House spokespeople complain about fake news and lies, yet Spicer’s very first press briefing, where he didn’t take any questions, was only about Trump’s bogus crowd sizes. This administration has leaked information anonymously and has retweeted and promoted false information from right-wing news outlets. They’re like your crazy tinfoil-hat wearing uncle who complains about the “lame-stream media,” yet shares links on Facebook to Breitbart and Infowars.

Brian Karem, executive editor of Sentinel Newspapers in Maryland took Huckabee to task for her comments about the press.
Karem said: “Come on, you’re inflaming everybody right here, right now, with those words. This administration has done that as well. Why in the name of heaven — any one of us are replaceable, and any one of us, if we don’t get it right, the audience has the opportunity to turn the channel or not read us.

You have been elected to serve for four years at least. There is no option other than that. We’re here to ask you questions. You’re here to provide the answers. And what you just did is inflammatory to people all over the country who look at it and say, “See, once again, the president is right and everybody else out here is fake media.” And everybody out here is only trying to do their job.”

Sanders responded calmly and said, “I think if anything has been inflamed, it’s the dishonesty that often takes place by the news media.” And then she asked the press to watch a video and described it, “There’s a video circulating now — whether it’s accurate or not, I don’t know — but I would encourage everybody in this room, and frankly everybody across this country, to take a look at it.”  Yes, she did that with a straight face.

I do appreciate Mr. Karem’s defense of the media, but to be fair, he does have a blemish on his journalistic record that I take personally as it was an insult to what I do.

In 2015 his newspaper published plagiarized cartoons. These cartoons weren’t copied or redrawn by his “cartoonist,” who I had never heard of before this was reported. These cartoons were published with the art from the original creators, but the text was changed along with the artists’ signature. Mr. Karem pulled the cartoons off his site but I’m not aware if he fired the guy. The two failings for Mr. Karem in this instance is that he didn’t notice that the cartoonist’s supposed drawing style was changing from week to week (depending on which cartoonist he was ripping off), and that he allowed a cartoonist to work anonymously. Editorial cartoonists need to subscribe to the same ethics and expectations of all journalists. I don’t accept any exceptions, ever. Neither should newspaper editors.

Unlike the Sentinel and Mr. Karem, CNN hires real artists. In fact, they sent their courtroom reporter, William Hennessy to live draw Monday’s press briefing. As you can see here, Mr. Hennessy is a real artist.

I would offer my services but the subjects will come out cartoony. However, I believe I would accurately describe the situation.

Creative notes: No, I didn’t trace Mr. Hennessy’s work. Feel free to compare. I did copy and attempted to emulate his style. I deviated from the scratchy technique to draw Spicer in his bib and diapers. It had to look like Clay Jones drew something in the cartoon. By the way, Hennessy’s work is FANTASTIC and I have the greatest respect for courtroom sketch artist. But, I think my depiction of Sean Spicer is better. What do you think?

It’s really hard being a one-man syndicate when editors (who receive death threats from Trump supporters) are afraid of cartoons with opinions, while I’m also competing against other syndicates with dozens of cartoonists (who offer lots of right-wing cartoons and the kind without any opinions). So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Sign Your Name


cjones04012017

One of the big questions being overlooked concerning Representative Devin Nunes running to the White House to wash Donald Trump’s balls is: Who let him in?

Let’s catch up: Nunes is the chairman of the House committee investigating whether the Trump campaign coordinated with the Russians or not (hell yeah they did). Last week he received a hot tip from an anonymous source that members of the Trump transition were caught inadvertently in surveillance operations that were targeting foreign spies. For some reasons Russian spies like to talk to members of the Trump team. A lot. This hot info would supposedly vindicate Trump’s lie that Obama spied on him.

To acquire this information Nunes apparently needed to view it in a safe room. They have these in Washington and they’re called “Sensitive Compartment Information Facilities,” or a “SCIF.” These rooms meet very strict security standards, unless that room in the White House and the Russian spies are the ones who are letting you use it.

Nunes ditched his staff, he switched cars, and ran to the White House with this hot lead. The next day he returned to the White House to inform the Trump people all about it. He neglected to inform members of his committee and still refuses to tell the co-chair, who is a Democrat.

The first question is: Did the lead come from the White House? Did Steve Bannon or Jared Kushner inform Nunes of this tip? Maybe we would know if we knew who signed Nunes into the White House. Did someone from the White House give Nunes this information so that he would give Trump cover? Why did Nunes need to use the SCIF at the White House since there are others in D.C., even one available for the House Intelligence Committee.

The White House, specifically Sean Spicer, says it’s possible that Nunes came to the White House without any members of the administration knowing. That’s bull puckey. It’s impossible for Nunes to get into the White House, less enough a SCIF, without being escorted by someone with an official White House badge. I seriously doubt the head chef let him in. He would also need access to the White House computer system to acquire the information he claims he has. You’re not getting on my computers without a password so I seriously doubt there’s public access on a White House computer. It’s not the public library open to hobos.

So who let Nunes in? Do you remember all those conservative memes and people on the internet bitching about the amount of times Al Sharpton visited the Obama White House? Do you know how they know how many times Sharpton visited? Because those visits were public information. Since Trump has taken over, all White House visits have become confidential information. Why? Spicer says he needs to look into it, which would take a minute. It’s been days and we still don’t know.

The House inquiry is toast. It’s impossible to have a non-partisan investigation when the chairman, Nunes, was a member of the Trump transition. How deep can the committee investigate when the chair won’t share his information with his colleagues?

Nunes needs to step aside. He asked “why should I step aside?” Uh, because you’re compromised, dude. Nunes has briefed the president on information he’s not sharing with his committee. He’s canceling hearings with witnesses. He’s made statements in the past that Trump shouldn’t be investigated. We might as well let Chris Christie head the investigation at this point. Maybe Sean Hannity is available to look into it.

Thankfully there’s another investigation in the Senate, where they do take things a bit more seriously. The FBI is also investigating and who knows who else. What are the NSA and CIA up to?

Nunes’ presence in the White House is just one of several that bothers me. Too many members of the Trump administration are coming off as Putin moles.

When we elected Trump we might as well have handed the keys to Putin.

Creative notes and stuff: Sign Your Name is a bad-ass song from Terance Trent D’Arby released in the late 1980s. I can actually pull off a pretty decent cover of it on my acoustic guitar. Sheryl Crow has done a cover and I seriously recommend that you never ever listen to that version. It’s the suck. She took all the soul and funk out of it.

The Russian lettering on the mat was fun. That took some research.

Several months ago a friend asked me about drawing Putin shirtless. I told him I wasn’t doing it as it was becoming a cliche. I’ve changed my mind on that. It is a bit of a cliche but if I put him in a suit then I’d have to label him. With his shirt off everyone knows who he is. Plus, it’s more ridiculous and will probably make me more prone to be attacked by Russian hackers. I also hope they don’t mess with my food. I hear they’re into that.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

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Obama’s Exit


cjones01202017

This is the last cartoon I’ll ever draw on Barack Obama while he’s still president. It’s kinda sad. It’s also frightening. Blood curdling terrifying even.

I intended to draw something reflective of his legacy but I wasn’t really into it. Once again I went with making an attempt at humor, and hopefully to spotlight what’s blood curdling terrifying. At least one of the aspects that’s scary of a Donald Trump presidency. There’s so many.

I still haven’t really overcome the shock that Donald Trump is going to be president. It’s not that it’s as disappointing or surreal as much as it’s just really stupid. American voters aren’t any better at hiring leaders than the San Francisco 49ers.

We’re watching a man leave the Oval Office who at his very worst, is extremely reasonable, patient, competent, intelligent, and empathetic. He’s a college professor. Enter the reality television guy who insults people on Twitter, grabs vaginas and brags about it, scams poor people with a fake university, and uses money intended for charity to purchase paintings of himself.

On top of all that Donald Trump is entering the White House with the lowest approval and confidence ratings of any incoming president, and with several investigations into his dealings with Russia. When does Trump lift the sanctions on Russia? Friday afternoon or will he bask in compliments throughout the weekend and wait to do it at 3:00 AM Monday morning? Perhaps he’ll find that phone that enables the president to text the entire nation (which Bush and Obama declined to ever use) and let us know while also pitching a fit over what Alec Baldwin does Saturday night.

Donald Trump is not prepared to be president. He was surprised he had to hire a staff for the West Wing. He fired the guy leading his transition team and started from scratch after the election. His cabinet of Billionaires hasn’t been appointed yet. His Security Council hasn’t even been selected. Some of the people he has hired are racists, white nationalists and Kellyanne Conway. We’re in deep trouble.

President Obama had a very successful presidency and leaves office with higher approval ratings than Clinton and both Bush presidencies. History will be kind to him and I’m going to start missing him around 12:01 PM Friday.

One historic aspect of Obama’s presidency is that he was successful and the two presidents that sandwich his tenure were both failures. The second failure is really going to make us long for the first one.

Good bye, President Obama and thank you for your service. You told us “yes we can.” We did and then we elected an idiot. You deserve a long break and time off from the stress of the office that added so much gray to your hair and lines to your face. I do hope Obama speaks out from time to time as we’re going to need a voice of reason through our upcoming nightmare.

And Putin? He may not literally be sitting in the Oval Office at the Resolute desk, but his puppet will be.

As for Donald Trump, I hope he likes political cartoons. I’m going to be drawing a lot of them.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Decorum Required


cjones11162016

Do you know why people are protesting and are upset over the election of Donald Trump? It’s not just because a narcissistic man who’s notable for being ignorant is walking into the Oval Office. It’s because they’re goose stepping into the Oval Office. Another big juicy reason that a lot of Americans are still traumatized after discovering just how comfortable a little less than half of white America is with racism. Dave Chappelle had a point. But protest, they must. It’d be a lot nicer if a lot of them had also voted.

A lot of people were very silent in Germany during the early 1930s when they allowed a fascist to assume their highest office. We learned what happens from that. Silence will not be allowed now but again, you should have voted. I know a lot of you wanted Bernie but now you have Racist In Chief. Good job.

Trump and others say we should give him a chance and within the first week he appoints an alt-right white nationalist as his chief strategist. Chance is up. It got the heil out of here. David Duke is doing cartwheels which he should be given mad props for as that’s really difficult to execute while wearing a sheet.

A lot of people defend themselves as not being racist while they support racist messages. If you continue to listen to 90s pop band Ace Of Base after discovering they’re a bunch of Swedish Nazis you can be excused because “The Sign” is kinda catchy, though you might want to ask yourself “what kind of sign are they singing about with such lovely harmonies?”. If you make an alt-right, misogynist, anti-Semitic, white nationalist the second most powerful person in the White House, then you might be a racist. You might also want to take a closer look at yourself if you voted for this crap.

Steve Bannon took a leave from Breitbart to manage the Trump campaign. While running Breitbart the publication ran such headlines as “Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy,” and “Bill Kriston: Republican Spoiler, Renegade Jew,” and “Lesbian Bridezillas Bully Bridal Shop Owner Over Religious Beliefs.” Even some conservatives formerly associated with Breitbart refer to it as a “hate site steeped in misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, white nationalism and anti-Semitism.” Even Glenn Beck finds Steve Bannon scary.

Bannon is quoted as saying “What we need to do is bitch-slap the Republican Party,” and “Fear is a good thing. Fear is going to lead you to take action.”

Fear is definitely the strategy the future White House chief strategist used in the campaign. He will surely continue to use that as his strategy from the Executive office. In case you didn’t see Star Wars you need to take note of Yoda’s warning: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. You do remember what happened to the republic in Star Wars? Democracy fell, the Senate was disbanded, Samuel L. Jackson got his hand chopped off, soldiers became lousy shots, Liam Neeson’s “particular set of skills” were useless, a heavy mouth breather was in charge of the military, Obi Wan Kenobi aged 40 years in a span of 20, and Luke kissed his sister. Plus, it took the empire 20 years to build their wall, which was the Death Star which got blown up a week after it’s completion, and I bet Darth Sidious claimed he was great at building things too. I don’t want this to happen to America.

Quite frankly Yoda is the only sentient being from a swamp I’d like to see as a part of this administration.

Creative note: I took creative license with the armband in the cartoon. I was sure it was on the right arm for some reason. Probably because the arm is “right.” I planned the layout for the cartoon with that. While drawing the cartoon I had to Google some images of Nazi uniforms (always fun) and discovered it was on the left. Now Nazis have another reason to hate me.

Today’s blog included Nazis, Star Wars, and Ace Of Base references. If you weren’t aware of the Ace Of Base Nazi thing until now, sorry to bring that to your attention. You already lost Chachi. Kinda ruins everything doesn’t it? You still have Yoda.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

The House That Love Built…Or Not.


cjones07302016

During Michelle Obama’s incredible speech at the Democratic National Convention she mentioned that she lives in a house that slaves built. Immediately there was a conservative backlash. Seriously, what kind of butt-faced ogre troglodyte defends slavery?

Bill O’Reilly, that’s who.

Bill O’Reilly is a very intelligent man. He says so himself. But he’s also a butt head and he has a penchant for distorting information, or what we commonly refer to in the media as “lying.” Billy was upset over Michelle stating that slaves built the White House. Hardly anyone is arguing that it’s a fact. They just hate that it’s brought up, or in this case, criticized. How dare someone criticize slavery!

Funny thing. These mooks complain about Black Lives Matter and state that African Americans should get the chip off their shoulder and get over slavery. Yet you have jerkoids on the number one cable news show defending slavery. O’Reilly states how well the White House slaves were fed and taken care of. Screw that free will as long as I get a sandwich and a comforter.

It’s funny and quite bizarre that the people who state racism isn’t that big of a deal anymore, or that it doesn’t even exist, are the very same people who are waving Confederate flags and defending slavery.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!