White House

Color GOP Sexy

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Republicans are having racist conniption fits over President Joe Biden’s pledge to nominate a black woman to fill the vacancy left on the Supreme Court by Justice Stephen Breyer’s retirement. They’re trying to mask their opposition to Biden’s promise by claiming it’s about choosing the most qualified person to sit on the highest court in the land, no matter what their race or sex may be.

Really? No.

Before Ronald Reagan was elected in 1980, he promised during his campaign that if he got a nomination to the Supreme Court, his first would be a woman. When a vacancy did come up in his first year, he kept his promise and nominated Sandra Day O’Connor. Reagan got three justices on the court, but he made four nominations. The three that made it, O’Connor, Antonin Scalia, and Anthony Kennedy, each got over 97 votes. Trump’s three steals barely got 50 each.
Reagan nominated Robert Bork who was so far right, even several Republicans voted against him. He only got 42 votes. This was back when Republicans, some of them, would refuse an unqualified and racist nominee.
Reagan’s next choice wasn’t ever formally nominated though Reagan said it was his intention to do so. Douglas Ginsburg was the choice but withdrew after it was discovered he had smoked some marijuana once upon a time. This was the 80s. Kennedy was the nominee who finally got through the Senate.

After Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away, Trump promised to nominate a woman. Trump did nominate Amy Coney Barret but she was actually chosen by Mitch McConnell. No other candidate was vetted, or at least not seriously.

When Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump both promised to nominate a woman to the Supreme Court, Republicans howled in protest and demanded they nominate the best person, regardless of sex or race. Just kidding. There was none of that. The only real requirement for these justices was that they would be religious zealots who’d strike down abortion and recognize that guns and corporations are human beings. Two of Reagan’s picks let him down on those scores.

Today, Republicans are screaming about nominating the most qualified person and we shouldn’t even look at sex or race. But this party talking about the most qualified also put lightweight sex fiends Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh on the court.

Mississippi Senator Roger Wicker said during a radio interview, “The irony is that the supreme court is at the very time hearing cases about this sort of affirmative racial discrimination while adding someone who is the beneficiary of this sort of quota.”
He added, “The majority of the court may be saying writ large that it’s unconstitutional. We’ll see how that irony works out.” Wicker didn’t express any opinions on the constitutionality of Clarence Thomas voting on cases his wife is tied to.

The Supreme Court was founded in 1789 and it took nearly 200 years before a woman was placed on it. Of the 115 people who’ve been seated on the court, 108 have been white men. Roger Wicker now wants to yell about affirmative action? Do you honestly believe each of those 108 white men was the most qualified in their time? Being a white wan was one of the qualifications for the Supreme Court until 1967.

Without knowing who President Biden is going to nominate, Wicker said, “I think they will misinterpret the law.” Good job keeping an open mind there, Roger. Could you at least pretend?
Wicker is worried about the judgment of a person he’s judging without even knowing yet. That’s like when I knew the guys my little sister was bringing home to meet me were idiots before I met them. Except, in that case, they were all idiots.

Fortunately for Roger Wicker, Mississippi does NOT pick the most qualified for its Senate seats. Case in point: Cyndi Hyde-Smith, a woman, is the other Senator. She’s a big fan of campaigning with nooses and Confederate flags.

Wicker predicts Biden’s nomination of a black woman won’t get one Republican vote. He may be right.

Georgetown Law faculty member and former lawyer for the right-wing CATO Institute Ilya Shapiro tweeted his preferred pick, Sri Srinivasan, is Asian and “doesn’t fit into the latest intersectionality hierarchy so we’ll get a lesser black woman.”
He also tweeted Biden’s pick “will always have an asterisk attached” to her name, a kind of “affirmative action” scarlet letter on her permanent judicial record. I’ve been saying the same thing about the three goons on the court only because Vladimir Putin helped the reality TV host who nominated them to steal the Oval Office.

Florida state representative Anthony Sabatini demanded the president “be impeached for his anti-white racist exclusion of any white nominee to the Supreme Court.” Again, 108 white guys on the Supreme Court.

George Washington University legal professor Jonathan Turley tweeted that Biden’s pick will cause all kinds of “jarring and incongruous moments” because “when the justices will hear arguments on the use of race in (college) admissions, one member will have been selected initially through an exclusionary criteria of race and sex.” One member? How about Clarence Thomas, who is only on the court because he’s a black male conservative?

When did President Biden EVER state he was making his pick on an “exclusionary” criteria?

Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens have also both falsely claimed being black and female is the only qualification President Biden is seeking. Owens, who is black and female, claims she fits the bill and conservative white men have brought her name up as a nominee because they like black friends who say what they say (Candace, a former liberal, figured out there’s an industry to that). But these fuckers screaming about qualifications ignore the fact Owens is not a judge, or a lawyer, or have a bachelor’s degree, or any college degree, or is even competent at doing whatever it is she does.

Tucker, proving once again he’s a real piece of something and that conservative “humor” only relies on stupidity and vileness, said Biden should nominate the sister of George Floyd, Bridgette Floyd. He said, “she is not a judge or a lawyer or whatever, but in this case, who cares? Clearly, that’s not the point anymore…this law stuff.”

Tucker spreads racism and conspiracy theories on a supposed news network. Clearly, that’s not the point anymore…this journalism stuff.

Where were these conservatives’ howls of protests and pearl-clutching over qualifications when Reagan and Trump promised to nominate women? Where were these protests when Trump put nine judges on the federal bench that the American Bar Association rated as not qualified? Seven of them have lifetime appointments.

Of President Barack Obama’s federal appointments (that weren’t blocked by McConnell), 42 percent were women. Only 24% of Trump’s were women.

When it comes to race, Trump appointed fewer non-white judges than Obama (36%), Clinton (25%), Carter (22%), and even George W. Bush (18%). Only 16% of Trump’s judges were non-white, and he only got his percentage that high because a few of them were Oompa-Loompas.

There has NEVER been a black woman on the Supreme Court. Some of the most qualified people to serve on federal benches, including the Supreme Court are black women. If anything, being a black woman is another qualification to add on top of the rest of their qualifications. This nation is actually being robbed from a lack of diversity. Hell, Reagan even once said he wanted to put an Italian on the court, and Republicans didn’t yelp about affirmative action or asterisks.

Hell, these people didn’t like it when President Obama nominated a moderate white guy for the Supreme Court in 2016. Republicans will scream over any nomination President Biden makes. Now, they’re thinking if they pick something specific, even before they know who the person is, they can make it seem like they’re not opposing just because it’s a Democratic president’s pick. Unfortunately, that one thing they chose is racist. But this probably sells really well in Mississippi.

Biden’s pick will be more qualified than any of Trump’s three picks. And, his pick wasn’t stolen or influenced by Russia. This will be the purest confirmation to the Supreme Court since Elena Kagan, even if no Republicans vote for whomever Biden selects.

Republicans are claiming 239 years is too soon to appoint a black woman to the Supreme Court. That’s racist.

Music Note: I listened to some Beatles while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Putin On The Blitz

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I already wrote about the subject so let me write about the cartoon. I had a great time drawing this cartoon.

I usually send several ideas in rough sketches to my editors at CNN. Occasionally, I only have to draw one. Rich was my editor this week and he said I hit it on the first try. I was really excited to draw this cartoon but also daunted that I now had to draw this cartoon.

The rough is very detailed for a rough. I was really getting into it so I drew more for it than I usually do. I considered making the final version on top of it, but I put it aside and started over. I was afraid the final version wouldn’t be as good as the rough, and that happens a lot. But I think this one came out pretty well. I especially liked the animation of it.

A colleague told me it inspired him to do more aerial views. It’s a good way to depict the Oval Office.

Music Note: There was a weird musical mix for the drawing of this cartoon, but I needed a lot to get into the crosshatching zone. I listened to Buddy Holly, Supertramp, and Sublime.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Biden’s Miller Time

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The reason the number of immigrants and refugees crashing our border increased after Donald Trump was kicked out of office by a free and fair democratic election is because Donald Trump was kicked out of office.

President Joe Biden promised a more humane and tolerant immigration policy that inspired thousands of immigrants, making them believe the door was now open. And while separating families is no longer official government policy, a lot of the Trump policies have remained in place, like child detainment.

Biden’s messaging to the world was a little messed up. He promised a more human treatment of refugees yet has continued a lot of Trumpian policies. We are still detaining children. We are still deporting refugees without allowing them to legally seek asylum. The rule Joe Biden is using to deport Haitians who haven’t been in Haiti for over a decade, back to Haiti, was designed by Stephen Miller.

Stephen Miller used his position as senior adviser in the Trump administration to push a racist xenophobic agenda that broke down and backlogged the asylum system. The Muslim ban was a favorite of the administration.

According to CNN, during a 2018 meeting in the White House, Miller asked the room, “What do you guys want? A bunch of Iraqs and ‘Stans across the country?” If you think the withdrawal from Afghanistan was a disaster, thank Trump for negotiating it with the Taliban and Stephen Miller for the backlog of Afghanis who helped U.S. forces. Or as Miller would call them, “Stans.”

Biden wasn’t ready for the border crisis. This is obvious. But maybe we stop using policies created by xenophobic creepazoid racists.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Fire The Trump Culture

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

President Joe Biden has fired several Trump appointees who refused to resign. In firing these goons, he’s cleaning the administration and the government from the disaster of the Trump era. While he’s reversing many hateful and stupid Trump policies with executive orders, he also needs to reverse the entire culture of lies, bullshit, and conspiracy theories that Donald Trump nurtured for four years. You start by getting rid of the people Donald Trump installed. They are poison.

An environment of lies surrounded Donald Trump. After he’d say a lie, his entire administration and those who followed him would repeat the lie. Trump lies became gospel. Any disagreement with Trump was the ultimate sin, and sinners would be branded. Previous Never Trumpers who became Trumpers would cast the biggest stones at the Never Trumpers.

In Arizona, the state Republican Party has censured former Senator Jeff Flake, current Governor Doug Ducey, and Cindy McCain, widow of John McCain, for disagreeing with Trump. Jeff Flake endorsed Joe Biden. The governor certified the election for Joe Biden and did all he could to contain the coronavirus. Cindy McCain also endorsed Joe Biden. Cindy McCain is a private citizen who has never held elected office. Keep that in mind the next time you hear a Republican talk about “cancel culture” or having their opinions “censored” by Twitter. Cindy McCain, a private citizen, was censured by the Republican Party for her viewpoint.

The GOP is hoping to retain the 74 million Americans who voted for Trump, which is keeping millions of Americans who are racists and conspiracy theorists. Do they continue to nurture the lies for the next four years, or do they ditch Trump and become a political party again instead of a cult? Do they keep the millions who supported installing a fascist dictator over a democratically-elected president? Do they keep the millions who would rather be ruled by a Hair GropenFuhrer?

While embracing cultists, the Republican Party is punishing conservatives for being conservatives. It’s like the Republican Party doesn’t want Republicans anymore. Only cultists need apply.

As there is a home for cultists in the GOP, there shouldn’t be a home for them in the government. Joe Biden needs to terminate every Trump remaining in employment in the government. It’s bad enough we have elected officials who supported an insurrection. It’s even worse we have judges nominated by a Russian tool who was impeached twice. Personally, I think President Joe Biden should ask every federal judge nominated by Donald Trump for his/her resignations. He wouldn’t get it but it’d make every judge defend him or herself.

You can call it “cancel culture” all you want, but cancel the cultists. Get them out. They’re poison. They’re seditious. They’re liars.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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After MAGA

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I kinda expect other cartoonists to follow suit and do something similar to this. I wrote the previous sentence two days ago and now, I’ve seen about 15 cartoons like this.

This cartoon focuses on the Oval Office, but the mess Trump leaves behind, the damage he leaves behind, extends beyond the Oval Office. He damaged the presidency. He damaged the country. He promised on his first day in 2017 that “this American carnage stops here and it stops right now.” I think he confused “stop” with “start.”

Joe Biden’s first order of business will be reversing a lot of Trump fuckery, like getting us back into the Paris Climate Agreement. He’s going to mandate that face masks be worn at all federal facilities, which Trump refused to do. Biden is going to get rid of the Muslim ban. He’s going to extend a nationwide restriction on evictions and foreclosures. There are also plans to provide another stimulus worth $1.9 trillion with each taxpayer receiving a check for $1,400. I’m not going to sneeze at that.

There’s also taking over the vaccine rollout that Trump has messed up, and his call for 100 days of everyone in this nation, even the fucknuts who politicized it, wearing a face mask. At the very least, we’ll have a president who cares about the problem instead of one who pretends there isn’t one.

Biden’s biggest task will be uniting the country, and I have to admit, I’m one of those resisting that. Why do I want to unite with MAGAts? I don’t have common ground with liars, conspiracy theorists, gaslighters, and Nazis. Fuck those people. I have no use for any of them.

How does a president unite a country when the majority of Republicans believe he “stole” the election? Why would you want to “unite” with a party when nearly a majority of them support the terrorists who violently attacked the Capitol?

We don’t need to find common ground with people who are in a cult. We need to deprogram the people in a cult. How can you tell you’re in a cult? If you believe Donald Trump won the election, Joe Biden stole it, there was mass voter fraud, or “election irregularities,” you’re in a fucking cult. Instead of sitting down with a cultist for a beer or a cup of coffee, I’d rather stick their head in a toilet for 17 hours until they re-learned how to think for themselves. We can’t even talk to these people when they don’t use facts.

The job Joe Biden has to do would be a hard job for anybody. He and President Obama left Trump a booming economy, a strong military, and international respect. Donald Trump destroyed all of that…and then tried to destroy the rest of the nation. Now, Donald Trump has left Joe Biden American carnage.

I’m really glad Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are here, but to be honest, I’m mostly glad Donald Trump is gone.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Goodbye, Grifters

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If you believe the Trumps will leave the White House without stealing some shit, then I got a bridge to sell you.

Here’s a spoiler, not a prediction: In the coming weeks, we’re going to see news articles about shit the Trumps took out of the White House they weren’t supposed to take. Wait for it. It’s happening. But, I’m no miracle savant with a magic glowing orb (similar to the one Trump was fondling with leaders in Saudi Arabia on his very first official presidential trip) that can see into the future. It’s easy to predict what Trump will do because he always does the wrong thing.

What I know about the future is, Donald Trump will continue to lie about election fraud. Donald Trump will tell us he’s still the president (sic). Donald Trump will attempt to bilk the government for every cent he can get. He will continue to raise money, put it into his PAC, then spend that money at Trump resorts. His kids will continue to be trust-fund goons. And Donald Trump will steal some shit. C’mon, this is a guy who stole from his own charity and even a child’s golf ball. Donald Trump steals shit. He’s a grifter. He’s a conman and though he will not be president (sic) after noon on January 20, thank God, he will always be America’s First Conman.

In the past, he’s refused to pay contractors for work done on his resorts and casinos. He’s fought them in court then after settling for much less than he originally agreed with the contractors, he’d stiff the lawyers who fought the case for him. Even now in his last remaining days, he’s refusing to pay Rudy Giuliani’s legal fees and not just because he was charging by the farts. And that’s his friend. Do you know how you can tell a lawyer sucks? It’s when he takes on Donald Trump as a client.

As Donald Trump continues to claim he won the election, he’s packing to leave the White House. The staff is packing and they’re already taking shit out. The White House press office is totally empty and right now, Kayleigh McEnany is fabricating her resume. And some funny stuff has been spotted leaving the White House.

Often when a president and his family leaves the White House, they take some stuff with them they shouldn’t. When the Clintons left, they took a bunch of stuff they weren’t supposed to. They ended up paying the government for some of it and returned others. Was this them being corrupt or being confused? It’s hard to say. On one hand, the rules can be confusing. On the other hand, they’re the Clintons.

Presidents can keep gifts they receive from American citizens. They do have to report the value of it just like private citizens do. But, if the gift was given to the White House, not the president, then the gift belongs to the federal government. That’s where presidents are often confused. Did you give me or the White House that Persian rug?

In 1880, Queen Victoria gave President Rutherford B. Hayes (and yet another who was a better president than Trump) a really cool gift. It was a desk carved out of timber from the British ship H.M.S Resolute. Today, that desk is in the White House and has been used by nearly every president since. Why didn’t Hayes take it when he left the White House? Because gifts from foreign leaders go to the National Archives.

And presidents get some cool stuff, like jewelry, furniture, swords, puppies, pandas, and crocodile insurance. What? Richard Nixon got pandas from China which went to the National Zoo in Washington. President Obama got crocodile insurance from Australia. Donald Trump never received crocodile insurance probably because nobody gives a rat’s ass if he gets eaten by crocodiles…though I’ve been told crocodiles do have better taste.

So the rules on gifts can be confusing. Was it a gift to you or the White House, was it foreign or domestic, is it alive and can it eat you? But one thing is clear, if it was in the White House before you got there, you can’t take it.

This week, chief-of-staff Mark Meadows’ wife was seen taking out a stuffed pheasant. Maybe that was a gift directly to Mark Meadows from an American taxpayer or maybe he brought it with him when he took the job because no office is complete without a stuffed dead bird. The Meadows claim it was brought with him when he took the job and I think that’s believable as it sounds like something disgusting and tacky that a MAGAt would think spiffs up the place. If you see a Trump walking out with a painting of dogs playing poker, yeah that’s probably theirs. I half expect to see Don Jr. walking out with a leg lamp from the Italian city of Fragile.

Also seen being carted off was a bust of Abraham Lincoln, who Donald Trump taught us was a Republican. This bust belongs to the federal government and when not in the White House, is stored with the White House Collection of which the White House chief usher and the curator have responsibility for managing and accounting for in every presidency. The incoming president and his spouse choose which items they want in the White House from the official collection. My question is: Why would the Lincoln bust ever leave?

The Andrew Jackson painting? Sure. Send that back to the Collection. But the Lincoln bust? Can’t you assume the next president would want that to remain? And if not, I guess he’d say something after he assumes office and you can remove it then. But that won’t happen because everyone would want the Lincoln bust. Duh!

But, just who is the White House chief usher, the main dude responsible for keeping track of this stuff? He is Timothy Harleth and the curator of the White House Historical Association reports to him. The curator is a career professional who has been on the job for 30 years. Harleth, the usher, is a former employee of the Trump Hotel. Fuck.

There’s going to be a LOT of missing shit.

During a trip to Paris, Donald Trump was supposed to visit the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery for fallen Marines, but changed his mind when he thought it was pronounced “Asinine.” So instead of visiting war dead, who he considers suckers and losers, he went to the ambassador’s residence and stole some shit.

At the residence, he found a portrait and bust he liked of Benjamin Franklin, so he took those back to the White. He also took some Greek figurines (naked women) which was a step-up from the usual figurines he collects from Happy Meals. As it turns out, the items were not authentic and were replicas. That’s normal for Donald Trump as he has a history of purchasing copies then claiming they’re the real deal, despite the fact the authentic paintings are in museums.

The stuff from Paris was exchanged for the real deals which were in the federal archiaves, but how much do you want to bet it all accidentally lands at Mar-a-Lago? How about the Lincoln bust? How about everything in the White House?

Donald Trump is a grifter. Grifters gotta grift. If the curator was really smart, she would have anticipated this back in 2016 after the election, and had everything in the White House replaced with replicas. And the cool thing is, Donald Trump wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. He probably thinks the Las Vegas Eiffel Tower is the real one.

As for all the furniture, let’s hope the Bidens get a new mattress and additionally, fumigate the entire place. Matter of fact, the usual sanitizing and cleaning of the White House between administrations is much more intense this time. They’re saying it’s because of covid. Sure. That’s why.

I just hope somebody took a real inventory. And don’t trust that hotel guy. Count after him.

Of course, even though the Trumps will leave with stuff they don’t own, there is a positive aspect. They’re leaving. And even though they’re going to take stuff that’s not theirs, you bet there will be Trumpy stuff that’ll remain with us forever.

It’s going to take a long time to scrub all the orange funk off. But just in case, while the Trumps are leaving, check their pockets.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Operation Bucket Trap

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Since Donald Trump projects, naturally he’d spend a week hiding inside the White House after spending months claiming Joe Biden was hiding in his basement.

When Joe Biden was staying home and wasn’t on the campaign trail, it was so he wouldn’t put lives in danger by campaigning. When Trump stays home hiding, it’s because he’s embarrassed that in the 2020 presidential election, he got his big orange ass handed to him.

Donald Trump held rally after rally, subjecting thousands to the coronavirus, and he still lost the election. Today, his followers will descend upon Washington for an anti-democracy protest.

Trump’s MAGAts are protesting under the pretense that the election was stolen. It wasn’t stolen. If anything, they’re trying to steal it. I know counter protesters will want to show up to make their voices heard as the MAGAts claim there will be a million of them, but please…if you’re opposing these people, stay home.

There will not be a million MAGAts in the district today. Maybe a few thousand. Most of them will not be masked. Liberals in Washington are very good at wearing masks. But this time, let the idiots have the streets. This could be another Trump super-spreader event. Let them hack on each other, not you. I’m blaming the possibility of having covid on MAGAts I saw on the metro giving me the stink eye for my RBG mask.

What these MAGAts want is a fascist ruler, not a democratic system. It’s what all Republicans want. And as they march around outside the White House, they know Donald Trump will be inside…hiding.

Donald Trump is hiding from reality. He’s hiding from facts. And he may be afraid to leave the White House as the locks may be changed while he’s out golfing. I hope it rains.

Donald Trump will never admit he lost the election. He may spend the rest of his life claiming he’s still president. They may even have to drag him out of the White House kicking and screaming.

I’m good with that. I wouldn’t mind seeing Donald Trump dragged out of the White House. But whoever has to do the dirty deed, remember…wear a face mask. These people are nasty.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Turd In A Turret

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No long blog today because I need to prepare for my trip tomorrow. But, I’m going to make it up to you on Monday with a long blog post. You’ll see.

As for this, I had to look up “turret.” As in, I had to Google what those castle tower thingies are called.

Laura, my proofer, gave me a turret story this morning after reading today’s cartoon.

Laura was walking on a college campus once at night with a friend. Apparently, this college had turrets because her friend said, “Look at all the turrets.” Laura looked down at her feet in horror and said,”Where?” And he said, “Turrets! TurrETS. Not turds.”

And that, my dear readers, is how today’s blog got its name.

Things are about go get insane over the next week…and may remain that way for a while. Hang in there and remember, I’ll be here dropping these cartoon bombs and columns throughout.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Bingo

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Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Chris Christie, Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Miller, Thom Tillis, Mike Lee, Ron Johnson, Hope Hicks, Nicholas Luna, Chad Gilmartin, Karoline Leavitt, Bill Stepien, and Ronna McDaniel (who even had “rona” in her name) are all people working in the White House, or close to it, who have tested positive for the coronavirus… so far.

There are nations that aren’t having as many outbreaks a day as this White House has had.

Many of these people have worked overtime to downplay the virus and deny it was as bad as it is. They worked hard to mislead the public. They over-exerted themselves to lie to America. And if they didn’t do that, then they worked for an administration that did. They are complicit.

Let’s not say any of them deserve it, but they each truly did ask for it.

A few months ago, Kellyanne Conway demanded a reporter to produce the name of a White House staffer who claimed people in the administration were calling it the “China Virus.” She said it was a racist term and nobody in that White House would ever use such an ugly description. Scratch that. Soon, Donald Trump was calling it the “China Virus” and Kellyanne, when asked to denounce that, said, “Look over there! It’s an aardvark!” And while the reporters were looking, she took off.

But many people who have caught the virus from the Trump team that downplayed it and refused to exercise the safety guidelines from their own Coronavirus Task Force, did not ask for it. A lot of people did not ask for mouth breathers to breathe on them.

While Kellyanne asked for it, her daughter didn’t. It was bad enough that Kellyanne Conway spent the past four years talking about “alternative facts” and lying for a corrupt administration. But who knew she was this vile? She refused to practice safety so she could stay in line and pander to a stupid and hateful president. She exposed herself to catch the coronavirus. Now, her lying and pandering to the worst president in world history has threatened the lives of her children. Her 15-year-old daughter, TikTok sensation Claudia, has now caught it.

In a video, Claudia claimed her mother lied to her about testing negative. Then she posted a new video saying she “guessed” she had misinterpreted her mom and that Kellyanne said she tested three times, twice positive, and never lied about it. The best thing about this is, she was taping a new TikTok video with her mom in the room who said, “You lied about your fucking mother…about covid.”

I was wrong. The best part about that is at the end her sentence, Kellyanne asked, “You’re taping again…”

Isn’t it delicious irony that Kellyanne is upset her daughter “lied” about covid? If only Kellyanne could hold her boss, the president (sic) of the United States, to the same standards and accountability as she holds her 15-year-old daughter.

Kellyanne also left her position at the White House to spend more time breathing on her family.

Others who did not ask for the virus from the White House are the three journalists who Kayleigh McEnany helped catch it.

This White House refused to create a safe environment for its employees. They carried out rallies. They even carried out huge, mask-less events on the White House lawn which is believed to have been the spark for this latest outbreak. After sharing it with the world, this administration refused to contact those in danger. They even tried to hide the outbreak.

The administration didn’t want to alert the press that Hope Hicks had acquired it. Would they have still hidden it after Trump tested positive? How would they have explained all the people working from home? What would they have said after journalists covering the White House started catching it?

Now, White House adviser and hate speech writer Stephen Miller has caught it. He was in that group with Hope Hicks that leaped into Marine One with Donald Trump last Wednesday. Another in that group was Jared Kushner.

If you had Stephen Miller on your bingo card, congratulations. Now, all with Jared are keeping an eye on him.

I’m sorry. Is it too soon to mock these people for catching a deadly virus? Not if issuing a commemorative coin celebrating Donald Trump defeating the virus, before he’s defeated the virus, isn’t too soon.

But hey, if you are one of those White House employees who have caught the virus because of Donald Trump’s failures, don’t worry. According to Donald Trump, it’s no worse than the flu. It’s not that bad. You can’t let it “dominate your life.”

In fact, you’re probably a winner. I mean, Donald Trump isn’t a loser, right? It’s not like everything he touches turns to shit, right? And he touched you, right?

As Hans Landa said in Inglourious Basterds, “Ooh. That’s a bingo.”

Creative note: Laura, one of my cartoon proofers, deserves a shout-out for this. While proofing, she asked if the bingo balls were supposed to look like the coronavirus. They weren’t but I thought it was an excellent idea. Thanks, Laura.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Better Off?

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Before this week’s Republican National Convention, Donald Trump complained that the Democratic National Convention was “dark and gloomy.” Of course, we knew the DNC was a convention based more in reality that provided more facts. Donald Trump is a shitty president (sic) and a horrible and vile human being so when you talk about the Trump presidency, it’s going to be dark and gloomy. We knew this week’s RNC would be a total shitfest of lies selling a message of hate and fear. Donald Trump and the Republicans did not disappoint.

You can’t have an honest convention when you have speakers like Tom Cotton, Gym Jordan, Matt Gaetz, Rudy Giuliani, or anyone named Trump. And there were multiple Trumps. Every Trump child gave a speech except for Barron (sometimes, it pays off when his dad forgets he’s there). Melania gave a speech. Another Trump wife gave a speech. A Trump girlfriend screamed a speech. Having so many speakers related to the president (sic) was some serious fascist Kim Jong Un type of shit. It was a parade of bullshit and nepotism.

There were other aspects of fascism. Donald Trump used his office to campaign for the office. He conducted a naturalization ceremony in the White House with acting-Department of Homeland Secretary Chad Wolf. He issued a pardon in the White House. The Secretary of State flew to Israel in a government plane on your dime to give a speech to the convention. Multiple non-elected government employees gave speeches, from other cabinet officials all the way down to Ivanka, who shouldn’t be there in the first place who bragged about being there. But the largest transgression was Trump’s event at the White House.

The White House is our house, not Donald Trump’s. From Washington to Trump, the first residence has only been temporary. Seeing Trump-Pence signs on the south lawn was one of the most disgusting sites I’ve ever seen from the Trump administration, and I’ve seen a lot. Shooting off fireworks from the Washington Monument, along with Mike Pence’s speech from Fort McHenry, were all abuses of the office. If President Obama had conducted a political rally on the south lawn and had displayed giant Obama-Biden signs, Republicans would have screamed bloody murder. And you know what? I would have joined them.

But nothing gets abused as much in the Trump administration as the truth. Donald Trump paraded a non-white speaker after non-white speaker to tell us over and over Donald Trump is not a racist. If you have to tell people repeatedly that you’re not a racist, you’re probably a racist. If you defend yourself with, “But I have a black friend,” you’re a racist. Throughout this convention, Trump and the GOP used the black-friend defense. Ignore all the time Trump said and did something racist. He has black friends.

They spent four days lying and gaslighting that Donald Trump built a great economy and he can do it again. Donald Trump inherited an economy…then he ruined it. We know he can ruin an economy. Why should we believe he can build one? What evidence is there that Mr. Six Bankruptcies can build one? Is his father going to bail him out? They boasted about adding 9 million jobs while leaving out the part of losing over 20 million. Fascist gaslighting. Next, Orange Mussolini will brag that the trains are on time.

The biggest lie during this con was Trump has a positive performance with the coronavirus pandemic. They boasted about Trump’s swift call to action which wasn’t swift at all. They boasted about him enacting the Defense Production Act, which he had to be goaded into using. They boasted about him banning travel from China which he didn’t actually do. They praised him for banning travel from Europe while neglecting to mention the first version excluded nations with Trump properties.

They neglected to mention Donald Trump promised back in March it would disappear quickly. They didn’t mention, “Everyone who needs a test, gets a test.” They didn’t mention his praise of Doctor Demon Sperm. They didn’t mention his advocacy of experimenting with bleach and other assorted household cleaning products in the human body. They didn’t mention that over 181,000 people are dead from the coronavirus. Now, he’s promising a vaccine by the end of the year which I’m sure they’ll neglect to mention at the end of the year.

But they mentioned China. They mentioned China a lot while not mentioning Donald Trump initially praised China for their honesty and openness. They didn’t mention Russia yet the Russian-owned Trump warned us that a Biden presidency will make American Chinese-owned.

The Republicans spent a week presenting a softer version of Donald Trump. Softer yet still icky. Now, with a little more than two months left before election day, Donald Trump can go back to presenting himself as the very real troglodyte he is. He and his corrupt administration. He will go back to blurting out callous statements over the death of so many people from his lack of preparedness. Statements like, “It is what it is.”

Donald Trump, the man who created a policy of jailing babies and who ignored a virus that’s killed over 181,000 Americans, has spent four years telling us who he is. Believe him. The man willing to risk the lives of your children, like he risked the lives of the 1,500 people attending his south lawn covid party last night, is showing you it’s all about Trump.

This is fascism. The GOP’s platform is only a platform of Trump. Last night, the White House was a shrine to Trump. If Donald Trump is reelected, this nation will be nothing but Trump. Expect more tombstones while a president (sic) focuses more on TV ratings. Expect more defenses of white terrorists.

When challenger Ronald Reagan asked during the 1980 election, “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?”, most Americans said no and they threw Jimmy Carter out and put Reagan into the White House. Ask yourself that question today. If you say no, Donald Trump will tell you it’s Joe Biden’s fault even though Donald Trump is the president.

Donald Trump brags about delivering on his promises. He promised American carnage and he delivered.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.