Whistleblower

Wiener Whistleblowers

Do you take mustard on your frazzledrip?

Jim Jordan’s “whistleblowers” aren’t whistleblowers. As with most things that come from Jim “Gym” Jordan, his “whistleblower” hearings are utter and complete bullshit.

Jordan is the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee and the select subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government. It’s a bullshit committee intended to push the false narrative that punishing conservartives for crimes they commit is weaponization of the Justice Department and FBI. Jordan and Republicans are lying to the public that prosecuting white nationalist terrorists who tried to overturn a free and fair election and install an unelected tiny-fingered racist Oompa-Loompa dictator is a deep-state conspiracy, along with prosecuting Trump for all his lawbreaking.

The committee held a hearing last Thursday where Jordan promised to bring in three FBI “whistleblowers” who would testify that the FBI is weaponized against Republicans that they each lost their security clearance because of their “whistleblowing.” Naturally, all of this is bullshit.

None of these so-called “whistlesblowers” lost their clearances for speaking out and none of them are technically whistleblowers. The only thing they’re blowing is Jim Jordan, who spends all his time blowing Donald Trump.

The night before the hearing, Christopher Dunham, acting assistant director of the FBI, sent Jordan a letter stating that the so-called “whistleblowers” had their security clearances revoked, pending appeal, for a number of reasons, including questions about their allegiance, reported criminal conduct, personal misconduct and how sensitive information was handled. These “whistleblowers” were debunked before Jim-Gym’s hearing even began.

Without addressing the details in the letter, Jordan’s only comment on it during the hearing was, “It doesn’t surprise me that the FBI puts out this letter the night before we’re going to have a hearing.” It doesnt’ surprise me that Jim Jordan’s bullshit got shot down…again. How dare the FBI whistleblow on Jim “Gym” Jordan’s “whistleblowers.”

Jordan continued with his plans to parade his so-called “whistleblowers,” two current FBI employees and one former, who each claim they lost their clearances after expressing concerns about the investigation of the January 6 insurrection.

None of these witnesses have been granted the status of whistleblower. To be officially designated whistleblowers, FBI employees must follow strict procedures which none of these have done. Real whistleblowers must also legitimately attempt to make what’s known as a protected disclosure of serious misconduct or criminal wrongdoing — usually described as waste, fraud or abuse. None of these witnesses have done so and have only shared their opinions and conspiracy theories. The only criminal behavior exposed here may belong to the so-called “whistleblowers.”

FBI employee Marcus Allen testified Thursday that he lost his clearance in part because he was simply trying to urge his colleagues to be careful with how they investigated January 6. But Dunham’s letter says Allen was found to have obstructed the investigation of a January 6 suspect. The letter says Allen told an agent that one of the suspects under investigation had no connection to terrorism, despite the agency’s finding that the suspect had assaulted a Capitol Police officer during the riot. The cased was closed until another agent discovered that the suspect was indeed connected to terrorism.

Allen is also accused of repeatedly espousing conspiracy theories, including that the U.S. government participated in the January 6 violence to his coworkers. He used his FBI email account to send links to anti-government conspiracy sites to his colleagues.

Former special Agent Stephen Friend testified that he lost his clearance as a form of retaliation for his beliefs that the U.S. government participated in the January 6 insurrection. But, the FBI says he lost his clearance for refusing to participate in the arrest of a member of the Three Percenters, one of the white nationalist terrorist groups that participated in the insurrection. The FBI knew the subject was armed with an assault rifle, had evidence that he’d chemically sprayed officers at the U.S. Capitol, and appeared in photos taken that day dressed in full tactical gear and helmet. But Friend believed an arrest by a SWAT team was too aggressive, and refused to take part. He refused to do his job.

Friend entered FBI office space after hours and downloaded sensitive documents onto an unapproved flash drive, secretly recorded his supervisors, and refused to take remedial security awareness training as requested. Since his departure from the FBI, he’s given interviews to RT, a Russia government-owned anti-American propaganda ouetlet.

Friend was also given $5,000 by corrupt Trump associate and serial lying bug-eyed conspiracy theorist goon Kash Patel who also got him a job at a pro-Trump anti-Democratic right-wing goon think tank.

FBI employee Brett Gloss, who did not testify during the hearing, had his security clearance revoked based on a concern for his “allegiance to the United States,” his “personal conduct,” and his “criminal conduct.” This so-called whistleblower took part in the insurrection on Jan. 6. He breached Capitol security during the attack and criminally trespassed into the restricted zone. He expressed support for the criminal actions of protesters inside the Capitol and lied to investigators about his whereabouts and what he witnessed. He also allegedly betrayed his colleagues by providing photos of FBI agents to someone known to publicly post FBI information that may lead to violence against FBI personnel.

Jim “Gym” Jordan has also refused to share written testimony from one of the fake whistleblowers, which violates House rules. Jordan argued that not all House members are entitled to testimony from a whistleblower, omitting that his witnesses are NOT whistleblowers. He also said the Democratic members of the committee couldn’t see the testimony because the “whistleblower” didn’t want them to see it. Democratic member Dan Goldman pointed out that the ‘”whistleblower’ doesn’t make committee rules.”

These hearings are bullshit where nothing is based on facts and allegations are presented as evidence. Just like the Durham Report, Republicans don’t have to read it, they just have to know that, Aha!…there’s a report. And just like with Hunter Biden’s laptop, none of these witnesses can reveal any violations or broken laws.

Jim Jordan believes he’s a hot dog, but he’s just a limp cold wiener. Quite frankly (see what I did there?), he and his so-called whistleblowers need to be retired with the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

Creative note: There was a Supreme Court ruling this week that could affect the tracers and clipart thieves in the editorial cartooning business. I got three compliments on my Jordan caricature within ten minutes of posting it. I am not the best at drawing caricatures, but I don’t need to trace.

Music note: I listened to the White Stripes while coloring this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Texas Nine-Nine

Cjones09092021

Good news, folks. The Texas whistleblower website, where nosy uptight Yee-Haw MAGAt fucksticks with too much time on their hands can report on their neighbors who they suspect might maybe be thinking about getting an abortion, has been shut down…again.

For now, the whistleblower site is redirecting to a anti-choice site until they can find a permanent hosts that doesn’t mind religious zealots entering personal information that doesn’t belong to the persons doing the entering. The fact the whistleblower site is redirecting to an anti-choice site proves it’s purely political. Being that is is religious, it should have no function with government, city, state, or federal. There’s this thing in the United States Constitution that knuckle-dragging fundamentalists find very inconvenient that says something about separation between church and state.

The redirection to a fundamentalist crazy nutjob fuckwit website also proves it doesn’t have anything to do with the sanctity of life and more to do with forcing others to live by the imaginary morals of religious zealots.

This system of tattle-telling on your neighbors is ripe for abuse, just as some people abuse the system to report child abuse. While there should be a channel to report that a child is being abused, it’s often used by people to go after personal enemies. And with this abortion whistleblower shit, it will be abused every time it’s used.

How do you know when someone got an abortion? How do you know they even got one? It’s private information. It’s not even your information to report. And no, it’s not like child abuse where you’re saving a child. You’re only using it to punish women, mandate your religion onto others, or just to hassle someone who may have stunk up the hallway of your apartment building by cooking Indian food.

There is a long history of authoritarian governments encouraging their people to spy on their neighbors.  In 1933, the Nazis issued a decree requiring Germans to turn in anyone who spoke against the party, its leaders, or the government. They also required them to report Jews for being Jews.

Mao’s China and Stalin’s Soviet Union both encouraged citizens to report enemies of the party and even people they suspected of having anti-communist thoughts.

The Inquisition was religious indoctrination, or reeducation, by groups within the Catholic Church to force Jews and Muslims to become Catholic…or die. Torture was often used in France, Spain, and Portugal to force people to see the Christian god and not their heathen gods. Usually, when someone has their testicles pounded by mallets all day, they will eventually see Jesus.

Guess how Church found the heathens? Yup, by informants. You did not want your neighbor to catch you eating a falafel.

Systems of ratting on your neighbors hasve been used in autocratic nations like Hungary, East Germany, North Korea, Cuba, Vietnam, and throughout Islamic Kingdoms. There’s one other place. The United States of America.

During the Red Scare of the 1940s and 1950s, Senator Joseph McCarthy conducted hearings to find communists without our government and in other institutions, like in business, education, and Hollywood. Everybody seemed to forget for a while that it’s not actually illegal to be a communist. I guess it’s like those Twilight vampire movies. There’s no crime in liking them but you don’t want anyone to know you do. It’s best to pretend you’re totally unfamiliar with Team Edward and Team Jacob. A friend told me about them. Quite frankly, I’d rather be accused of being a communist.

McCarthy and fellow Republicans would accuse people of treason and subversion for not thinking like them…or even suspecting they weren’t thinking like them. Careers were destroyed and people were ostracized. The biggest un-American Joseph McCarthy exposed was Joseph McCarthy.

This whistleblower bullshit to report on neighbors in Texas suspected of having an abortion is un-American. And as usual, the greatest threat to America are Republicans. Why do we need authoritarian tactics to save our democracy?

Isn’t it bizarre the people who espouse Christian values are the least Christian like? Isn’t it mind boggling that the people who pretend to be the greatest American patriots keep creating systems of fascism?

Dear pro-lifers: Stop acting like Nazis.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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What’s Your Crazy?

cjones11252019

Fiona Hill went to Capitol Hill yesterday and schooled Devin Nunes and the rest of the Republican nitwits serving on the Intelligence Committee.

Dr. Hill, an expert on Russia, scolded the Republicans for pushing the false, debunked conspiracy theory that it was Ukraine meddling in our 2016 presidential election in favor of the Democrats, and not Russia helping Trump. From the expressions on the Republicans’ faces, it was like trying to teach the difference between the words “cheese” and “keys” to your dog. You know every time, that dog’s going to be thinking cheese.

Dr. Hill may want to keep in mind that there’s more than one conspiracy theory Republicans believe in. Once upon a time, they used to kind-of-sort-of keep them under wraps, as only truly crazy people pursue them. Now, Donald Trump is pushing the Joe-Biden-is-corrupt conspiracy along with the Crowdstrike conspiracy (where the Democratic National Committee server is stored in Ukraine for some dumb reason), and these theories were created and spread on 4chan. Republicans aren’t even trying to hide their crazy anymore.

After Dr. Hill’s mic drop of facts on Republicans, they still want to subpoena Hunter Biden and chase debunked conspiracy theories.

The thing is, you don’t have to be even kinda sorta smart not to fall for a conspiracy theory created by a Russian troll farm. Hell, you can even be slightly stupid and not fall for it. The thing with Republicans is, they don’t want to work with facts, logic, or reason anymore. You have to admit, with the way they’re smearing veterans, women, immigrants, diplomats, and anyone who’s served their nation, it goes well with their scorched-earth campaign.

Dr. Fiona Hill isn’t a new hero to the left. She’s an American hero.

Notes: I don’t have time for a highly-researched blog today as I’m running late. I had to jump on a train this morning and finish my cartoon in a Washington hotel. Then, I gotta go back to work for CNN. And my hotel room won’t even be ready until 4:00 PM.

I’m in Washington to speak or do a seminar at a journalism conference. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing here. Between the book, daily deadlines, CNN deadlines, moving, Amanda, and some light surgery this week, I didn’t pay that much attention. But I’m here. I know I’m doing something tonight and in the morning. I’m pretty interested to find out what I’m doing.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Poo-Flinging Republicans

cjones11172019

Jim Jordan has a law degree but he never took the bar examination. It’s a good thing, too, because, there are some legal details he doesn’t understand, like corroborating witnesses.

Jordan pointed out that neither William B. Taylor Jr., the top U.S. diplomat in Ukraine, nor George Kent, a deputy assistant secretary of State specializing in Ukrainian matters, had never spoken to Donald Trump. Jordan’s argument was that it makes their testimony moot. Republicans love to compare the impeachment proceedings to a court of law, but corroborating witnesses are used in court all the time.

The other hole in this argument, that no witnesses are testifying who have spoken directly to Trump about the matter, is that it’s Trump who is preventing them from testifying. Republicans really don’t want their bluff called and see Acting Chief-of-Staff Mick Mulvaney or former National Security Adviser John Bolton testify.

Jordan also complained that the whistleblower isn’t testifying. Perhaps if Jordan had taken that bar exam, he’d know the whistleblower is another corroborating witness who isn’t needed on top of all the other corroborating witnesses. Also, maybe he’d realize it’s illegal to expose, intimidate, threaten, or harm a whistleblower. On top of all that, it’s a dick move on his part. But dick moves are all Jim Jordan has.

By the way, Linda Tripp heard it from a friend.

Jordan’s complaint is that Democrats are refusing to let the “guy that started it all” testify, as Republicans want him to do. Democrat Peter Welch replied, “I say to my colleague, I’d be glad to have the person who started it all come in and testify. President Trump is welcome to take a seat right there.” Ouch.

Jordan and Republicans also argued that Donald Trump has done more for Ukraine than Obama. I’m not sure how Obama doing little for Ukraine is a defense for Trump abusing his office, but remember…I didn’t take a bar exam. They pointed out that more money has been directed to Ukraine from Trump than Obama since Russia invaded that nation. They failed to mention that Obama worked to oust Russia from the G-7 as one response, and Trump is trying to invite Putin back. Also, Trump wants to go to Moscow and watch a parade of Russian military weaponry that will probably continue parading all the way down to Crimea. Yeah, they didn’t mention any of that.

Jim Jordan also argued there is no crime here since Trump failed at it. If you’re ever caught robbing a bank, just tell them you failed because you couldn’t find the safe. They’ll let you go. If they don’t, call Jim Jordan.

They argue that Trump released the money he was withholding from Ukraine after he vetted them. The truth is, he released the money that was approved by Congress to help Ukraine defend itself from Russia after the whistleblower made his complaint.

The Republicans were outmatched. All they had were conspiracy theories. They have a defendant who has admitted he pressed a foreign country to help his political campaign. They have Trump on tape asking another foreign nation to investigate his political opponent. They have Rudy Giuliani’s confession he’s asked Ukraine to investigate Trump’s political opponents. They have Mick Mulvaney’s confession there was a quid pro quo and that we should get over it. Now they’re going to have another witness testify he overheard Trump asking the ambassador to the EU, Gordon Sondland, about Ukraine investigating the Bidens.

Republicans made Jordan a temporary member of the House Intelligence Committee because they believe his hard-charging style of being an asshole would be their best defense of Donald Trump from impeachment. Jordan’s job is to scream, yell, ask questions in a shotgun fashion, expose the whistleblower, deflect, confuse the public, and spread Trump’s debunked conspiracy theories. It’s his job to throw poo.

Jim Jordan was an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State for eight years. He’s been accused of being aware of and not acting on sexual misconduct by a team doctor. Somehow, according to the allegations, the doctor whacked off over 180 times in the shower in front of student-athletes over eight years without Jordan ever hearing about it. But hey, if Dr. Shower Whacker needs someone to ignore the crime and scream at his accusers, Jordan’s his guy.

Maybe Republicans should have brought in a poo-flinging monkey instead of Jordan. At least in the monkey’s defense, he didn’t take the bar exam.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Partisan Jurors

CNN11102019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

After Donald Trump is impeached by the House of Representatives, there will be a trial in the Senate. There, every United States Senator (in case you’re a Republican, there are 100 of them), will be a juror. The majority of Republican senators have already made up their minds that Donald Trump should not be impeached. Some argue he didn’t do anything wrong while others say he did but it doesn’t amount to a charge worthy of impeachment. Some, like Lindsey Graham refuse to even hear the evidence and testimony. These Republican jurors have already made up their minds to clear Donald Trump before the trial or even before public hearings in the House have started.

Remember when the administration said it wasn’t complying with subpoenas because the House hadn’t conducted a vote for the inquiry? That seems to be forgotten now that the House did have that vote, and it passed without one Republican voting for it (even though they all demanded the vote), and the White House is still defying subpoenas.

Remember when Republicans complained about the hearings being private? They even crashed one hearing and contaminated a SCIF. Now, the Trump administration is complaining about the hearings going public. If voters have eyes and ears, they’ll see it doesn’t matter what the Democrats do, the GOP will find fault with it.

Graham said he’d be bothered if there was testimony implicating Trump in using taxpayer money to bribe Ukraine and asking them to go after a political opponent. Now that multiple witnesses say Trump did just that, Graham has decided he’s not going to listen to any testimony or read transcripts of it. Back during the Clinton impeachment, Graham said a president defying subpoenas was obstruction and another cause for impeachment. Today, it’s OK if a Republican does it.

In this week’s Time magazine, Jon Meachem writes, “The possible impeachment of Donald Trump is about more than one man. It is a singular moment in American democracy that will try our capacity for reason over passion, fact over faith and principle over tribe.”

The Republicans are making it about one man and showing we don’t have the capacity for reason, facts, or principles. If Congress fails to remove Trump from the presidency, it will be an American failure that will take generations to overcome. It will damage the office of the presidency for decades, if not permanently.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Cross Hairs For Whistleblower

cjones11092019

It’s Taco and Bonus Toon Tuesday here at Claytoonz Central. But since I ate all the tacos Amanda made for me, you get the cartoon.

I sketched this idea out a few weeks ago and even shared it in one of my posts showing you rough sketches. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t reveal a few of them as I might want to go back to them. This is one of those. It’s simple and I figured I could whip it out within 20 minutes. I was wrong. It took about two hours, but I did take a break for tacos.

There’s only one reason Republicans like Donald Trump and Rand Paul want the whistleblower to be revealed. It’s because they can’t attack the context. Listen to what Trump says about the guy and, if you’re not a Republican, you’ll notice he only has lies.

Last night, at a Trump hate rally in Kentucky, Rand Paul demanded the media do its job and reveal the whistleblower. First off, Rand, it’s not the media’s job to expose the whistleblower and put his life in danger. What he’s reported is more important than who he is. We already know what he is. Rand Paul is the last person, other than Donald Trump, who would have a clue as to the media’s job.

Second, Republicans only want to discredit the whistleblower because they can’t discredit the accusations. They can’t discredit the truth.

The law protects whistleblowers. Government employees are actually required to take classes on whistleblowing. Anyone in the government who tries to expose a whistleblower should be removed, like Donald Trump and Rand Paul. I think trying to expose the whistleblower should be added to the charges that will be used to impeach Donald Trump.

There is a real danger to trying to expose the whistleblower. Do you remember Comet Pizza? There was a conspiracy theory that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex slave ring out of the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizza parlor. There weren’t any child sex slaves. The pizza place didn’t have any connection to Hillary Clinton. The pizza place didn’t even have a basement. Yet, a conservative lunatic who was troll bait for Russia’s campaign to elect Trump drove to Washington with the agenda to shoot up the pizza parlor.

Do you remember the shooting at a Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs in 2015? The shooter killed three people because he believed in the Republican lie, made from doctored videos, that they were selling dead baby body parts. To this day, “pro-life” people still believe Planned Parenthood is selling baby body parts.

Already, the lawyers for the whistleblower are receiving death threats. If Donald Trump and Rand Paul have their way, the whistleblower will be running for his life…or dead. Donald Trump and Rand Paul, like most Republicans, don’t have any shame.

Republicans are a threat to national security. Republicans cost lives. Don’t kill people. Don’t vote Republican.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Fireside Chat

cjones11052019

I find it amusing that after the impeachment inquiry vote, Republicans accused Democrats of being partisan…after every. single. Republican. voted against it. That just went right over their heads. Republican Steve Scalise said it was a “Soviet-style” investigation, never mind that these “Soviet-style” rules were written by Republicans.

Despite all Republicans checking their consciences at the door and finding nothing wrong with a president asking a foreign government to go after a political opponent and help his reelection, Donald Trump is still freaking out. He continues to say the phone call, which he sometimes refers to as a “letter,” was “perfect.” It wasn’t even perfect corruption because they didn’t hide it well enough.

Trump has told us that we have the complete “transcript,” despite the disclaimer at the top of the “transcript” explaining it’s not complete, or even a transcript. It’s a summary.

Now, Donald Trump is thinking about taking a page from a previous president and selling the “transcript” to the public himself. He’s considering reading it aloud in a “fireside chat.” OK. I’m curious.

The first thing I’m curious about is Trump reading aloud. I’ve heard him read aloud before. It’s cringeworthy. It’s like in elementary school when the entire class took turns reading a story aloud, and they each got different pages or paragraphs. And if you were one of the kids who read well and was impatient, it was aggravating listening to someone read something you had already read and could have read 20 more times during the length of time it took your classmate to read it once. Donald Trump is not the impatient kid.

That’s the second thing I’m curious about. Will Trump read the entire transcript and not just the ten-page summary? Even if he only tackles the ten pages, can America sit through Trump mangling it with his poor reading ability?

Trump is copying Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who delivered the chats on radio between 1933 and 1944. He used radio to kill rumors, explain policies, and comfort and reassure America during times of the Great Depression and World War II. There are differences here. Roosevelt was loved by the nation. Trump can’t go to a baseball game without people chanting “lock him up.” Roosevelt could read and he wrote very well. He was a great orator and his speeches are still quoted. Donald Trump is barely literate. Roosevelt was also comforting. Donald Trump is a screaming race-baiter. Basically, Roosevelt was a leader America wanted four times. Donald Trump is America’s asshole.

Roosevelt didn’t use the fireside chats to defend corruption. He also didn’t use them to only talk about himself. Donald Trump doesn’t want to conduct a fireside chat to talk to America about America. Donald Trump wants to talk to America about Donald Trump. Trump’s only agenda as president has been Donald Trump.

I think Trump is better off sticking to his hate rallies where he flails around without a script. Nobody there expects him to read or be comforting, and they eat up everything he says.

I would totally expect Donald Trump to conduct a fireside chat with a flamethrower.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Lesbian Bong Blow

cjones11022019

Revenge porn is despicable, ugly, and unethical. So naturally, Republicans are all over it.

California representative Katie Hill has resigned after revelations were made that while she was a candidate, she and her husband were mutually involved in an extramarital relationship with a female campaign staffer. Hill has acknowledged this. Her estranged husband has claimed she also engaged in an affair with a male staffer after she was in office. Hill has denied this charge.

As others have pointed out, the story wasn’t presented as breaking news but more like bombs with the intention of humiliating Hill. They were accompanied by naked photos of her and were published in the Daily Mail and the Republican blog, Red State.

Republicans are laughing and rejoicing over this, and not just because it opens a congressional seat that Hill flipped to Democrats in 2018. No, Republicans are rejoicing because they’re cruel. I’ve seen posts by several conservatives saying it’s her fault the photos became public. Why, if she didn’t want them exposed then she never should have had them taken or even engaged in such shenanigans.

You can argue about Hill’s actions with a campaign staffer. There should be an investigation into whether she engaged in a sexual relationship with a congressional staffer. But you shouldn’t be enjoying or sharing her photos. Why? It’s not her fault they’re out there and secondly, they’re not yours to share.

Whenever I hear about leaked photos from someone’s iPhone, cloud, or whatever, I don’t go searching for them. No, I don’t have a high horse. I’m not perfect. But I refuse to support the invasion of someone’s privacy or the theft of their property. I don’t buy the argument that it’s their fault for taking the photos. I don’t buy it’s their fault for their behavior. I don’t buy that I have a right to their private photos because they’ve posed nude in the past. Their privacy and property don’t belong to me or you. I won’t support the thieves who stole it. The same people who are blaming Hill for the publication of her private photos will shout you down for sharing photos from Melania Trump’s past, which were for publications she chose to pose for.

In Hill’s case, we didn’t need the photos for the story. We had the story. The photos were put out there to shame her by her estranged husband who shared them on porn sites. If anything, he should be brought up on criminal charges.

The reason for Hill’s resignation isn’t right either. She didn’t resign after an investigation proved she broke a law or an oath. She resigned because of revenge porn. There’s a double standard here.

The troglodytes who are getting off on this revenge porn overlook the fact that Congressman Duncan Hunter, also from California, was indicted on a charge of using campaign funds to support extramarital affairs with five women, and still hasn’t stepped down. Did I mention that was with FIVE women? Why is he still in office? Two reasons. He’s male and he’s a Republican.

It was only last year the House began prohibiting relationships between representatives and staffers, after decades or male congressman getting away with it. The first to be punished for it is an openly bisexual woman.

And then there’s the fact that while Republicans hoot and wag their fingers, they’re supporting a president who has bragged he’s grabbed women “by the pussy” and has been accused from assault to rape from over 20 women.

And Republicans are all about outing. Currently, they’re engaged in smearing a highly-decorated veteran as a spy for Ukraine, and they’re trying to out the whistleblower. It doesn’t bother Republicans they’re assaulting a veteran who still carries shrapnel in his body. It doesn’t matter to them that by exposing the whistleblower, they may endanger his life, as his lawyers have been facing death threats.

Republicans are constantly engaged in a scorched-earth campaign. But it’s fun to watch it burn them.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Quid Pro Uh-Oh

cjones10202019

Out of the multiple times I shouted at the TV yesterday during acting-chief-of-staff Mick Mulvaney’s disaster of a press briefing yesterday was when he was answering a question about the House investigating Trump awarding the next G7 summit to himself. He said they were expecting the House to look into it because this administration has had to deal with oversight ever since the Democrats took Congress.

That is when I yelled loudest at the TV because dealing with oversight isn’t something that should have just started when the Democrats took control of Congress. The Republicans should have exercised oversight over this corrupt administration while they had Congress. If so, maybe they’d still have Congress. Instead of oversight, they spent two years bootlicking, kowtowing, ass-kissing, and being subservient sycophants engaged in cult worship. They allowed this administration to run roughshod over emoluments and provided intel over House investigations into the assistance the Trump campaign received from Vladimir Putin. They allowed and defended Donald Trump when he attacked the FBI, the CIA, the free press, and even their own members. Every Republican in Congress who allowed Donald Trump to violate his oath of office and desecrate the presidency, in turn, violated their own oaths and abandoned protecting this nation.

Now, we get to watch Trump’s butt poodles in Congress create new talking points over the fact there was definitely quid pro quo in Trump providing military aid to Ukraine. If you’re wondering if they’ll abandon their previous defense, then you haven’t been paying attention.

During Robert Mueller’s investigation over Russian interference, the talking point was “no collusion.” To use this talking point, you have to accept collusion is bad.

Then, Donald Trump told George Stephanopoulos that he’d accept help from a foreign government if it was offered. That is welcoming collusion and Republicans were silent. There was no outrage or even disagreement. We didn’t even hear a tsk-tsk.

Then, the day after Mueller testified before Congress, believing the coast was clear to do whatever the fuck he wants, Donald Trump dangled military aid to Ukraine’s president in exchange for them investigating a political opponent.

The two defenses of this are: Trump can ask a foreign government to investigate corruption by Americans in their country (ignoring the fact he asked a foreign government to help his re-election campaign), and it’s not bad because there was no quid pro quo.

First off, even if there wasn’t a quid pro quo, it’s still illegal to ask or accept help from a foreign government in your political campaign. Fact, fact, fuckity fact. But, there was a quid pro quo.

Even if we didn’t have copies of texts between diplomats talking about the “deliverable,” which was a reference to the end result of Ukraine actually announcing the investigations, or a summary of the phone call between Trump and Zelensky where Trump brings up investigating Joe Biden and conspiracy theories of 2016, the quid pro quo is out in the open.

There is a quid pro quo in the mere fact that Donald Trump is president (sic). The president of Ukraine wouldn’t even be on the phone with Trump if he wasn’t president, less enough offering to help him with his reelection. On top of that, you have Rudy Giuliani admitting he was asking Ukraine to look into the Bidens on top of Gordon Sondland’s testimony yesterday that they were ordered to follow Giuliani, who is not elected, appointed, or working for the State Department, in dealing with Ukraine.

Yesterday, after European Union ambassador Gordon Sondland testified before Congress, Congressman Jim Jordan, who’s spent his entire tenure during the Trump administration jacketless shouting at the top of his lungs in defense of Trump, said there was no quid pro quo. Meanwhile, Mulvaney was telling the White House press corps there was a quid pro quo. Oops.

A reporter pointed out that asking Ukraine to investigate the Bidens in exchange for monetary aid (money approved and designated by Congress) was quid pro quo. Mulvaney replied that there is always politics and exchanges for foreign aid. He admitted there was a quid pro quo and they “do it all the time.”

He used foreign aid being withheld from the triangle nations in Central America as an example. In that situation, the Trump administration withheld funding from El Salvador, Guatemala, and Honduras until they created immigration policies acceptable to Trump. Now, whether you like that or not, that is a legal quid pro quo. It’s also a shitty example that Mulvaney could only use if he’s dishonest or an idiot…or both. In that case, the quid pro quo wasn’t for personal help in a political campaign. But, I’m sure we’ll all hear more Republicans use it this week because they’re all dishonest and idiots.

Mulvaney admitting there was a quid pro quo was bad. How bad? White House lawyers issued a statement that they weren’t aware he was going to say that. Trump told the press it wasn’t accurate. Finally, Mulvaney issued a statement trying to clean it up and said he never admitted there was a quid pro quo. According to reports, Trump is upset over this but more at the media for taking Mulvaney’s words out of context. The only problem with Mulvaney’s backtrack and Trump being mad at the press is that Mick’s comments are on tape. He said it. There’s no taking it out of context. The context was trading military aid in exchange for a foreign government investigating the Bidens and debunked conspiracy theories.

This leaves Republicans, who have gone from collusion is bad to collusion is fine if there’s no quid pro quo, to trying to find a way to defend quid pro quos. Confused? Be glad you’re not a Republican. At some point, Republicans are going to give up trying to explain anything Trump does and just declare he’s king and can do anything he wants. That’s how they want it anyway.

Donald Trump broke the law. He violated his oath of office and betrayed America’s trust. He’s given us the evidence. He’s done it in front of us. And in what will probably be the last press briefing during the Trump administration, his stupid chief-of-staff admitted Donald Trump broke the law.

If Donald Trump hasn’t broken the law in this case, then what the hell is illegal?

The best example of hypocrisy here is this conversation about corruption went down while announcing Trump was awarding himself a contract that will allow him to grift the United States and other nations with the G7 Summit.

I had a Twitter conversation yesterday about how it’s hard to satirize satire, but could these criminals at least understand they’re satire?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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A Nationals Impeachment

cjones10182019

Washington, D.C. has not sent a baseball team to the World Series since 1933 (which they lost). In fact, the city was without a baseball team from 1971 to 2005 because their team, the Washington Senators, fled to Texas to become the Rangers. The Washington team that went to the series in 1933, also named the Senators, are now the Minnesota Twins. Today’s team going to the World Series, who may face the American League team Houston Astros who used to be in the National League, used to be the Montreal Expos. This is a lot more confusing than Trump’s impeachment because Trump committed the crime, admitted it, and he should be impeached.

By the way, Donald Trump has never thrown a first pitch as president. He refused an invite from the Nationals in his first year as prez, either because he would have been booed out of the stadium or because walking from home plate to the mound might land him in a trauma unit. Even FDR, who was in a wheelchair, threw out first pitches. He did it ten times. Hell, even Nixon threw out a first pitch. If Trump ever does throw out a first pitch, I expect him to take a golf cart to the mound.

I’m one of those people who roots for two teams. The Chicago Cubs (who have always been in Chicago and in the National League) is my team. But I was here to see the start of the Nationals franchise, have cheered for them when they haven’t been playing my Cubs, and I’ve been to several games. But, I don’t feel like I’m finally seeing my team go to the World Series after years of waiting because, again, the Cubs are my team. But I’m very happy for the Nats and I hope they win the series. I also hope they face the Yankees because that’ll make for a more exciting series and look much more dramatic in the record book years for now. Who doesn’t want to take down the Yankees? The Astros? Meh. The Nats just took down the team that’s won the second most World Series. Maybe they’ll get a shot at taking on the team that’s won the most.

It didn’t look like the Nats would even make the playoffs as they were twelve games behind in their division last May. But, baseball has a very long season. They made it to the playoffs as a wildcard where they beat the Milwaukee Brewers, who originally started in Seattle then moved to Milwaukee to replace the Braves who originally started in Boston and then landed in Atlanta. They then earned the right to play the number one seed Los Angeles Dodgers (who used to be in Brooklyn) who they beat three games to two. Then, they swept the St. Louis Cardinals, four games to none. The Nats weren’t supposed to be here, but baseball is a funny game. So is politics.

It looked like Trump wasn’t going to be impeached after the Mueller Report came out and the Justice Department twisted what was in it. Any momentum to remove this corrupt president faded. With the primary season approaching, Democrats thought it best to beat him and the Russians at the ballot box. At the very least, Donald Trump knew that working with foreign governments to win an election was wrong and illegal. That was repeated over and over throughout the Mueller investigation and the Trump team knew it too as they kept repeating the talking point “no collusion.” I mean, after two years of talking about it, the illegality of it was made clear, right?

The day after Mueller testified before Congress on his report, Donald Trump asked a foreign government to meddle in the next election. It’s like getting off on a technicality on a bank-robbing charge, so you celebrate by robbing a bank. He then hid the evidence. He used money approved by Congress to extort that foreign government to help his campaign. His administration tried to block a whistleblower report from reaching Congress. And then, Donald Trump admitted he asked a foreign government to help him and then publicly, he asked another one to help. Finally, Trump obstructed justice by denying subpoenas from Congress for documents and testimony from people in his administration. Despite all this, most Republicans claim he didn’t do anything wrong.

Democrats are not overturning an election by impeaching Donald Trump. I mean, not unless they replace him with Hillary Clinton. It’s like the argument that it’s a coup, but it can’t be a coup if Democrats replace him with Mike Pence. The election was fraudulent and Trump and his team worked to make it that way. Impeaching Trump, which is authorized by the United States Constitution, isn’t as outrageous as Russia attacking our nation by making Donald Trump president. But, if anyone is overturning an election, that person is Donald Trump for violating and betraying his oath of office. It’s not the Democratic Party or the media’s fault Donald Trump is a corrupt son of a bitch who’s used his entire time as president to divide the nation and advance his own personal agenda and enrich himself further.

Article Two, Second Four of the United States Constitution was written in preparation for a president such as Donald Trump. It says a president shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors. The only missing in Article Two is a picture of Donald Trump.

I don’t know if the Nationals are going to win the World Series. I don’t know if Donald Trump will be removed from office. But I do know two things. The Washington Nationals are going to the World Series and Donald Trump is going to be impeached.

Both are well deserved.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.