Vladimir Putin

Rooty Tooty For Pootie


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I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook a few hours ago and I noticed one of my conservative friends created a post with a complaint. This friend, we’ll call her Allie because that’s her real name, was upset because she had posted a news story only to have it removed by Facebook. She posted it three times and three times Facebook had removed it.

Why would Facebook remove her post? Probably because it was a conspiracy theory generated by Russian bots from one of their troll farms. The story was about the children from the Parkland shooting who are voicing out for gun control, and how they’re actually paid actors.  The story is such garbage that Donald Trump will probably retweet it later. He’s retweeted from Russian bots before.

Donald Trump is an idiot, but Allie is not. Allie, however, does find confirmation bias too delicious to pass up or to confirm. Who cares if it’s advancing the goals of a hostile nation intent to tearing ours apart? Did you hear about the Washington pizza parlor?

They call it a troll farm for a reason. The Russians are creating trolls and Allie has allowed herself to become one. Many of these people are unwittingly hurting our nation. Others are aware and just don’t care. Screw pride, principles, and ethics. Did you hear that the Pope endorsed Trump?

First off, they hurt our nation by voting for Donald Trump. Earlier this week, a Trump supporter, we’ll call Gary because that’s his real name, told me he voted for the lesser of two evils. I pointed out that the lesser of two evils is not the candidate supported by Vladimir Putin. Gary, who is a veteran and considers himself a patriot, told me he doesn’t need voting tips from someone of my persuasion. Never mind that Gary’s allowing himself to be persuaded by Putin. Did you hear about Obama bugging Trump Tower?

It’s not just confirmation bias that moves these people to support Russia over the United States. It’s their partisanship, which is apparently more important than national security. National security was an important issue to them and one of the biggest reasons they cite for voting against Hillary Clinton, for who they chanted “lock her up” because of her email server. Now that Donald Trump has given classified information to Russians who were hanging out in the Oval Office, and he has over 100 staffers in the White House who can’t get a security clearance, national security doesn’t seem that important anymore. Did you read the Nunes memo?

Russia is dirty. They helped Donald Trump cheat to win the presidency. They’re so dirty, that because of doping their Olympic athletes can’t even compete under their nation’s flag. They’re so dirty that even their curling team is doping. I thought doping would be for watching curling, not playing it.

To Trump supporters, stop sharing fake news. Stop helping a hostile nation destroy ours. They’re still attacking us and you, unlike Trump, should stop helping them.

Root for the home team.

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Putin Them Out The Window


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People who oppose Russian President Vladimir Putin have a tendency to wind up dead, or seriously hurt. Maybe they’re just clumsy and naturally fall out of fourth story windows.

First off, the guy’s got the same name as “Vlad The Impaler,” the psychopath who was the inspiration for Dracula.

Putin hasn’t impaled anyone on spikes or bitten anyone on the neck yet, as far as we know, but many do turn up dead. Or maybe in Russia, they’re deadniks.

Denis Voronenkov, a critic of Putin who sought asylum in the Ukraine was shot dead in broad daylight Thursday in Kiev.

Boris Nemtsov (of course one of these guys would be named “Boris”) led massive rallies against Putin in Moscow. He was arrested several times until he was finally shot four times in the back, outside the Kremlin, in 2015. The killer remains at large.

Boris Berezovsky (OK. Maybe they’re all named “Boris”) was found dead inside a locked bathroom at his home in the United Kingdom, a noose around his neck, in what was at first deemed a suicide. Later the coroner couldn’t determine the cause of death. Berezovsky had accused the Putin government of poisoning another critic.

That critic was Alexander Litvinenko who was poisoned in 2009. He was a former intelligent agent who turned whistle blower. Ain’t blowing no whistles no more.

Stanislav Markelov and Anastasia Baburova were both shot outside the Kremlin in 2009. Markelov was a human rights lawyer known for representing Chechen civilians in human rights cases again the Russian military. Baburova was a journalist. The government blamed Nazis but I don’t think Steve Bannon was even in the country at the time.

Markelov represented Anna Politkovskaya, who was a journalist who had written articles critical of Putin. She was killed in 2006.

Sergei Magnitsky was a lawyer who was beaten to death in prison in 2009.

Natalya Estemirova, another journalist, who investigated abductions and murders that had become commonplace in Chechnya. She was kidnapped, shot several times, once at point-blank-range to the head, and her body dumped in the woods. They never caught the bad guys.

Anna Politkovskaya was another reporter and had written a book titled “Putin’s Russia” which accused him of turning Russia into a police state. She was shot in an elevator in her apartment building.

Sergei Yushenkov had just registered an opposition party when he was gunned down outside his home in Moscow in 2003.

Yuri Shchekochikhin was a journalist covering crime and corruption. He died of “mysterious” causes in 2003. His medical documents were deemed classified by Russian authorities.

Let’s not forget the feminist punk band Pussy Riot. Three members of the group were sent to prison on charges of “hooliganism” after performing songs critical of Putin and accusing him of being a dictator. That would be the equivalent of George W. Bush throwing Green Day in prison for their album “American Idiot.” But this is America. Prison here is having to listen to Green Day.

Just about every Russian connected to the hacking story has fled the United States and are safely, supposedly, back in Russia. You have to remember, Putin has a style of leadership Donald Trump has expressed admiration for.

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Ambassador Assassination


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On Monday a Turkish police officer posing as a member of a security detail walked up behind the Russian ambassador to Turkey and shot him in the back at an art gallery in Ankara.

As ambassador Andrei Karlov lay dying on the floor the gunman shouted “Don’t forget Aleppo! Don’t forget Syria!” The image was captured in photos and video and shared around the world. The gunman injured several others before he was killed by police.

Since Russia entered the Syrian civil war they have claimed they’re only bombing terrorists. Others, including the United States, have accused Vladimir Putin of using his bombs not to attack terrorists, but to prop up Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, and killing thousands of civilians. What may complicate matters is that the terrorists may be on the side supported by the United States.

Turkey is not a safe place. Earlier this year they experienced a so-called coup attempt which many claim their president staged to build his support and to punish his enemies. They’ve had three major terror attacks within the last ten days which has followed a month of violence. This is a NATO nation that doesn’t resemble one.

While there’s no justification for terrorism or the killing of diplomats, Putin can find the source of this world-wide scorn in his own mirror. You can’t drop bombs on babies and not expect a backlash. The U.S. has some experience in this area.

Turkey wasn’t the only site of terrorism on Monday. Three people were injured at a Muslim prayer center in Zurich, Switzerland, and at least 12 were killed at a Christmas market in Berlin, Germany.

As our next president forges a closer relationship to Russia and perhaps Syria, we may expect some of this backlash to be directed toward us. I wonder where terrorists wishing to make a statement against an American president can find targets throughout the world where there are numerous buildings bearing his name.

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A Candidate For Treason


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On Thursday Donald Trump requested that the Russians release the 30,000 emails Hillary Clinton deleted from her server.

Russia is the main suspect for the hack into the DNC servers which was released by WikiLeaks. It is kinda bizarre they’re not hacking and releasing information on Republicans, or Trump’s taxes. I wonder why not….hmmmmm.

Encouraging a foreign government to break U.S. law to help your election is treasonous. In fact, it would be a felony if Mr. Trump was convicted. This man who was upset a Supreme Court justice had an opinion on the election wants the Russians to tamper with our electoral system.

Does Donald believe the Russians want what’s best for the United States, or is he just that stupid? He could be both. This is a guy who thought Tim Kaine was governor of New Jersey. If I hated America, I’d want Trump to become president.

Now Trump says he was being sarcastic. Many of his supporters say he was joking. Yeah, I can see how one could mistake his statement as a joke since many are convinced his campaign is one, but not this time. This was a joke the same way when a girl shoots down your suggestion of sleeping together and you attempt to cover by saying you were only joking. Riiiiiight. You didn’t want that booty and Trump didn’t really want the Russians to hack into Hillary’s server.

Go stand in line at the airport and tell the TSA agents you have a bomb, and then explain you were joking. Except this time, Trump is in line for the presidency. Quite frankly, I believe he should experience the discomfort of a body cavity search for his remarks, but I’d pity the poor agent who had to conduct the search. Melania knows what I’m talking about….and Chris Christie (who is actually governor of New Jersey).

This election isn’t about conservative versus liberal principles anymore. It’s about a thin-skinned bully, who’s a racist, and is extremely ignorant about how anything….ANYTHING…works, vs. hey, a person who you may not like so much but is actually qualified for the job.

Yes, the person you don’t like might raise the minimum wage, fight for equal rights for women and minorities, might engage in foreign relations that aren’t that different from a Bush, or even tighten up restrictions on gun sales just a teensy eensy bit. The other one would put us under martial law, attempt to imprison those who insult him, attack a nation he can’t find on a map for a small-hands joke, give half of Europe to Vladimir Putin and totally wipe his ass with the Constitution. This is a person who has screwed over everyone who has ever invested in him, and you have to think about it?

Most of the time you can respect someone’s opinion when they disagree with you. If you’re voting for Trump, I don’t respect that. It’s stupid. This is not a normal candidate one merely disagrees with the direction they want to take the country. This is a candidate dangerous for the country. A president is president for all the people, not just those who elect him. If Trump is president, he will be a disaster for all the people…even those who elect him. But Vladimir Putin will probably make it work for him. If you’re voting for Trump, yes you are an idiot. If you’re having a hard time deciding between Trump and Clinton, you’re still an idiot.

Castor oil may not taste good and it’ll give you the runs, but you’d still rather drink it than bleach.

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Putin Pulls Out


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Russian president Vladimir Putin surprised the world today by announcing he’s pulling his nation’s troops out of Syria.

Russia entered the Syrian civil war under the guise of fighting ISIS, and they had good reason after ISIS took down a Russian airliner. But it was ruse as Putin’s army spent most of their time fighting rebels attempting to destroy Syrian president Bashar Assad’s reign of terror.

Putin is declaring “mission accomplished” and claims the terrorists are on the run. Though he’s pulling out the majority of his force there will still be an air presence and of course Russia still maintains a naval base in Syria, which it has since the early 1990’s. They can still drop bombs in Syria anytime they want.

While Putin claims he was fighting terrorists, he spent most of his time bombing schools, markets, and hospitals and then claimed they didn’t exist. Well, they didn’t after he bombed them. Guess who’s still there? ISIS.

So why is Russia pulling out? First, they could be lying. They claim they’re not in Ukraine but they are. The real reason is probably that Putin has achieved his goal and that’s a seat at the peace talks and stability in his relationship with Assad. Syria is a stalemate and will probably stay that way for years. That’s good enough for Russia as they can maintain their bases in the Mediterranean, and Syria is their only source for that. After helping Assad for six months Putin’s influence with Assad is greatly influenced.

Let’s not forget that Donald Trump isn’t the only conservative who admires Vladimir Putin. Other Republicans, like Sarah Palin, have mentioned how he’s a “real leader” unlike our own president. Nice!

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Praise Of Despots


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Donald Trump has the insecurities of a teenage girl whose daddy won’t give her attention. Russian president Vladimir Putin is aware of this and played on Trump’s ego.

Do you know the qualification of a good person in Trump’s mind? If that person says something nice about Trump. Yeah, he’s a murderer, invades nations, suppresses the press, but he’s a “real leader”.

Putin stated Trump is “bright and talented.” Trump ate that up. When it was brought to his attention that the man dishing out the compliments was a tyrant, Trump stated he was a real leader unlike Obama. A former KGB figure is a better leader than a champion of freedom and inclusion in Trump’s mind.

Putin is clever. He knew exactly who to play on to insert himself into the American election. The GOP’s top candidate ate it up and thinks it’s a good thing. By the way, David Duke has nice things to say about Trump also. Go eat that up.

Republicans, this is your front runner. What is wrong with a party where the majority of its members support Trump, racism, bigotry and xenophobia. Basically, support stupidity. Of course this is the same party where 30% were recently polled in favor of bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the fictional nation in the Disney film Aladdin. Hey, it sounds Arabic so we should bomb it just in case…even if it doesn’t exist. What would have been funnier would have been if they didn’t do the poll, and had asked Trump if he would bomb Agrabah.

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War With Russia


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I resisted joining the herd of political cartoonists drawing turkeys to symbolize the nation of Turkey. Did Turkey plan to jump in American news the week of Thanksgiving? They could have timed it better for cartoonist by giving their turkey cartoons a few more days of shelf life.

A lot of people who declare we should put troops into Iraq and Syria, and others who say we should go to Ukraine, never sign up themselves. They’re real quick with the war plans if they’re not a part of the plan. Hell, these people don’t even want to pay for it monetarily. They’re really good at taking their guns into Walmart and coffee shops though.

On top of that a lot of conservatives idolize Vladimir Putin over Obama, and gloat over how strong of a leader he is. Now they’re even gloating about France’s war with terrorism because they’ve dropped about two percent of the bombs the U.S. has dropped on ISIS. But they’re in love with Putin. He’s a homosexual hating bully, so go figure.

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