Utah

Scoochin’ For Mittens


cjones01092018

With the announcement that Utah Senator Orrin Hatch would not seek reelection, speculation immediately landed on former Massachusetts governor and 2012 presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

There was also speculation that Hatch had lost his freaking mind when he made comments that the Donald Trump presidency may be the best we’ve ever seen. Trump was pushing Hatch to run for reelection as he’s been a loyal and obedient lap dog for Trump since he won the presidency.

You may also believe that a Senator Mitt Romney is the last thing Trump wants in Washington. During the 2016 campaign, Romney gave the speech of his life in denouncing Donald Trump.

In that speech, Romney said Trump’s promises were as worthless as a degree from Trump University, that he is a fraud, and, “he’s playing the American public for suckers: he gets a free ride to the White House and all we get is a lousy hat.” Ouch. And then, Trump went on to win the nomination, ultimately the White House and Mitt Romney asked for one of those hats.

Romney is not one to stick to morals and convictions. In his 2012 campaign for president against Obama, Romney abandoned every position he ever held in his life to appeal to the conservatism of primary voters. He ran against Obamacare despite being an advocate and governor at the time Massachusetts installed a public healthcare plan, which was the foundation of Obamacare. He also sought out Trump’s endorsement and staged a press conference with the guy. It was already well documented that Trump is a liar and a racist having spent the previous few years engaged in a birther campaign against Obama. That didn’t bother Romney. He obviously felt Trump’s endorsement was more valuable than a degree from Trump University.

After Trump and Putin won the election, Romney went to Trump Tower and did the walk of shame through the lobby, so he could pander for the Secretary of State job. Trump never considered Romney for the job and only used it to force him to kiss his feet. The photos Trump released of their frog leg dinner showed Romney with a facial expression one might also wear while having a rusty catheter inserted.

Shortly after Hatch announced his retirement, Romney changed his location on Twitter from Massachusetts to Utah. I half expected the guy to post a photo of him eating green jello with slices of carrots. They really like jello in Utah. It’s weird.

I don’t have faith Romney will join the Resistance against Trump. It seems every Republican who has questioned Trump’s capability has caved into him. Lindsey Graham is running deflections for Trump, attacking the FBI and wanting charges against the author of the Russia Dossier (despite there not being a crime). Jeff Flake voted to give Trump huge tax cuts. Bob Corker is riding on Air Force One at this very moment kissing Trump’s ring. I don’t expect Romney to act any different. Principled Republicans are a thing of the past.

Years ago, Romney forced his dog, Seamus to ride on the roof of his car while he drove halfway across the country. I don’t expect Trump to force Romney to climb on top of his roof. Romney will volunteer.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Advertisements

Saved To Death By The LDS


utah11152015

I drew this for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons) decided that children of gay parents cannot receive a naming blessing or be baptized until they’re 18. As can be expected, there’s a firestorm over this and a fear of mass resignations from the church. Mass resignations? How many gay Mormons can there be? Dozens? I don’t get it … but hey, there are gay Republicans out there too, so go figure.

Now the church has issued a statement that the policy applies “only to those children whose primary residence is with a couple living in a same-gender marriage or similar relationship.” So if you’re one of those part-time kids who lives with straight mom and new dad and only lives with gay dad and his new friend Stan on weekends, then the church says you’re cool. You’re only slightly icky but not enough to be dehumanized by God.

They also said the policy will not apply retroactively to children in a same-sex household who have already been baptized. Now I’m not very religious (OK, I’m not religious at all), but I was raised going to churches (yes, plural), and I don’t know how they can go about unbaptizing someone. How do you undunk someone’s head in the water?

After a child who’s been refused a blessing and baptism has reached the age of 18, he or she can receive a baptism. That is, if he or she disavows same-sex cohabitation (guys doing it to other guys … or girls and girls). Of course, they’ll have to receive approval from the church’s governing First Presidency, who will make sure that none of the gay stuck to the child. Maybe they should add some bleach to the baptism water, you know, just to make sure they’re really cleansed.

The LDS’s message is one of “We want you, we want your financial support, but we don’t recognize you as a human being and will use policy to dehumanize you … but God bless you.” Basically, the church values you the same as a pre-1978 black guy.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.

McSpooky


utah10242015

I drew this for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

I like McDonald’s fair enough. I can’t eat their stuff as often as I could when I was younger. I have walked into the place over the past couple years and changed my mind from the grease smell. Other times I’ve chowed down on a Big Mac. I still love their fries…if I can get them fresh. I’m pretty psyched I can get a McGriddle now after 11:00 AM. I don’t know if I’ll ever do but I like knowing I can.

I don’t kid myself. McDonald’s is not healthy food. Those salads are just for show. It’s definitely not something you want to get your children hooked on. I know as a parent I fed my son way too much of it, but to be honest, he just wanted the toy and would ignore his Happy Meal.

Having a contest to see which kid can gorge himself the most and the fastest isn’t just stupid, it’s destructive. It’s a contest to see which child they can encourage to slowly kill himself.

To be honest, after drawing this I kinda want a Big Mac. Just one. It’s not a contest.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.

Iron County Steering Committee


utah10112015

I drew this for The Independent in St. Gorge, Utah.

From the article: Local towing companies, including Cedar City-based All Ways Towing and Mountain Towing, are concerned with what they call “steering.” They allege they are losing business and money to other tow companies and car dealerships in the area because of inappropriate practices of favoritism by law enforcement and the dispatch center. The alleged problem has been occurring over the last 10 years or longer.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.

 

Elementary Mohawks


utah09272015

Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Independent.

When I was a kid, I considered school dress codes as teachers’ punishment for not being as cool as their students. When I was in high school, the biggest concern for teachers was girls dressing like Madonna from the “Lucky Star” video. I was concerned too, but only that those girls wouldn’t ever talk to me.

I understand dress code. I’m not entirely against them. Someone has to tell kids to pull their pants up.

Arrowhead Elementary School in Washington County, Utah, dismissed a seven-year-old second grader last week for sporting a Mohawk. The school administration considered the Mohawk distracting. Check out the link. Does that look distracting? Maybe I’m jaded. I see kids with weird haircuts all the time. The only time I’m concerned is when a child has a mullet, and I’m worried about what type of parents would do that to their child. The Mohawk is kinda cool.

Maybe it is something distracting in the second grade, but I don’t really buy it.

this child is of Seneca descent. That’s a Native American tribe. The school requested a letter from the New York-based Seneca Nation of Indians to confirm the haircut is of cultural significance. Of course they responded and in a much more diplomatic way than I’m posting here, stated, “Leave the kid alone, and stop discriminating against him.”

You would think those in the education business would be educated on such matters. You would especially think those in the education business at a school named Arrowhead Elementary would be somewhat familiar with what’s of cultural significance to Native Americans.

That’s some irony difficult to top in a cartoon.

At the end of the day, it’s just a haircut. The school might want to concern themselves more with what’s in his head than on top.

Utah Stomps On Planned Parenthood


utah08302015

Utah’s governor Gary Herbert is trying to defund Planned Parenthood because of all those sneaky (probably illegal) videos made by the Center For Medical Progress. That’s an odd name for a group trying to restore back-alley-clothes-hanger abortions.

These videos are smearing Planned Parenthood and trying to mislead the public. Never mind the fact PP is not doing anything illegal. Five states, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Indiana, South Dakota, and Massachusetts, have already ruled that PP is clear of any wrongdoing (chew on that). You won’t read that at Breitbart. Another thing you won’t read at right wing troll sites is that the Center For Medical Progress receives funding from Operation Rescue which has an ugly history of being connected to violence against abortion clinics and doctors.

Being anti abortion is fine. That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. Spreading false information is not fine. It’s disgusting and irresponsible. It’s especially disgusting if you’re elected to serve the public or you work in the media. It’s revolting for journalists to engage in lying. Yes, if you’re in the opinion game in the media, talking head, editorial writer, columnist or even political cartoonist, you’re a journalist.

If you have information that doesn’t help your argument then you tend to ignore it. To ignore it and keep spreading lies is a violation of ethics and it makes you a liar. Unfortunately too many appear not to have any ethics and they don’t have a problem being a liar. I know ethics is something some “journalists” don’t think about but guess what, you’re supposed to have them (I’m willing to venture that the publications that run your work actually have ethics policies. You should look into it). If you have to lie to support your argument then you have a weak argument.

I think what really infuriates me is that lying to support your cause works. It’s been working for a long time. Republicans have been doing it effectively for a long time. It helps their base is stupid. But it does work. Ask Joseph Goebbels.

Here’s the rough.

WP_20150827_001

A Really Nasty River Runs Through It


utah08152015

I created this cartoon for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

The toxic chemicals that leaked into the Animas River in Colorado are now seeping into other rivers into Utah and other states. The leak originated from Gold King Mine which was abandoned by the company that owned it. The EPA attempted to clean it up and inadvertently dumped the toxins into the Animas River. The state government in Utah and others are now threatening to sue the EPA. How come these states aren’t going after the Gold King Mine? Because these states are run by Republicans.

When oil companies contaminate the oceans, they’re usually (sometimes) held accountable cost wise. At least they get the blame and public scorn as well they should. If you rape land, abandon it while taking all the profit, destroy the environment, then you can wait for the federal government to take the blame and the tab. Of course the ones paying the tab are the taxpayers.

I had fun creating ‘Tale of the EPA and the Terrible Animas Contaminus’ for The Independent. I got to draw a lot of happy little trees.