United Nations

Laughing With Nikki


cjones10132018

The United States’ ambassador to the United Nations is doing something unusual. She’s leaving the Trump administration without her middle finger in the air. She’s not being forced out for a scandal, quitting in anger, or discovering she’s being fired through Twitter while sitting on a toilet.

The former governor of South Carolina is one of the few high-profile women in the Trump administration. Sources within the White House say she’s leaving because of fatigue (we’re all fatigued from this administration, Nikki) and that she wanted to leave before the midterms to avoid embarrassing Trump in case the election doesn’t go his way, which it probably won’t.

Haley is staying until the end of the year and Trump says he’ll name her successor within the next three weeks. One name that’s popped up is his daughter, Ivanka. Yes. Seriously. Haley said that Ivanka’s husband, Mr. Ivanka is “such a hidden genius that no one understands.” She’s right. I don’t understand that statement. Referring to the couple, she also said, “Ivanka has been just a great friend, and they do a lot of things behind the scenes that I wish more people knew about.” We do too. We’d love to know what they’re doing behind the scenes. Maybe it would explain why our government punishes nations that refuse to give loans to Jared’s company.

Haley is also one of the few in the administration with her reputation still intact. She was critical of Trump before he became the nominee, saying we shouldn’t be tempted by his hatred and calling for him to release his taxes, yet she eagerly accepted the UN post. She has aspirations for higher office and needed experience with foreign policy. But, how well can she run for office in the future on a platform of Trump’s foreign policy?

During her tenure, she announced new sanctions against Russia only for the White House to announce the next day that the sanctions weren’t happening and that Haley was confused. The Ambassador responded with, “I don’t get confused.” I’m not sure about that as she had previously warned that a Trump administration could start World War III, and took the job, and now plans to campaign for Trump in 2020. Maybe she is confused.

While Trump has been afraid to level any criticism toward Russia and Vladimir Putin, and sides with the dictator over American intelligence, Haley has strongly criticized Russia.

Also, during her tenure, the U.S. embassy in Israel was moved to Jerusalem, which the rest of the civilized world disagreed with. Then, Haley announced she was “taking names” at the United Nations of the countries that voted to reject Trump’s move of the embassy. The U.S. also stripped funding for the Palestinians and pulled out of the Iran Nuclear Agreement.

Representing The United States, she voted against a U.N. resolution titled “The Question of the Death Penalty”, which condemned the use of capital punishment when “applied arbitrarily or in a discriminatory manner” and specifically condemned “the imposition of the death penalty as a sanction for specific forms of conduct, such as apostasy, blasphemy, adultery and consensual same-sex relations.” What in that language did the Trump administration find disagreeable? That vote went in line with the U.S. withdrawal from the U.N.’s Human Rights Council.

Haley has been accused of violating executive branch regulations against accepting gifts. In 2017, she and her husband accepted seven free flights on luxury private aircraft from three South Carolina businessmen, which is probably worth tens of thousands of dollars. Her defense is that the political donors don’t qualify as donors to her, because they’re friends.

Haley is in debt for over a million dollars, and she has two kids headed to college. So, one reason she may have to resign now is to make some mega bucks for at least a couple of years in the private sector. That sounds much more plausible than the Senate theory.

Some speculate that Trump will fire Attorney General Jeff Sessions after the midterms, replace him with his newest poodle, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, and then the governor of that state will appoint the Senate seat to Haley. I don’t think there are teeth to that as she wouldn’t need to resign her U.N. job at this time for that scenario. Joining the Republicans in the Senate would probably make her miss the Iranians and North Koreans at the U.N.

Donald Trump claimed the world was laughing at us during the Obama administration. During his last address to the U.N., the world literally laughed at him. The United States has become a laughingstock during Haley’s tenure at the U.N. While she claimed they weren’t laughing at Trump, but with him, it will be a hurdle in her future.

America’s foreign policy is a mess since Trump took office. We criticize Canada while praising dictators, with the president even stating he “fell in love” with Kim Jong Un. Respect for the United States has decreased significantly.

So, when Haley runs for future office on her accomplishments with Trump’s foreign policy, I hope she notices that they’re NOT laughing with her.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
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International Laughingstock


cjones09302018

Before he was installed into the presidency by Russian gangsters and internet cattle, Donald Trump said the world was laughing at us. They are now, literally.

Today, while speaking before the General Assembly at the United Nations, Trump made a claim that’s usually swallowed without question at his MAGA rallies. Forgetting this wasn’t the double-wide dwelling audience, Trump started his speech about how he’s accomplished more in two years than any presidency before his. The result was laughter from the world’s leaders.

It probably reminded Trump of the time Obama poked fun of him and his conspiracy theories at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, or high school, or any time a woman saw his Toady-mushroom wiener.

Yes. The entire world is literally laughing at us.

This is a bonus cartoon, so it’s why you’re only getting a short blog.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Trump’s Moll


cjones12252017

Donald Trump and his sycophants boast they’ve restored respect to the United States. It’s like their claim they’re rebuilding the military and the FBI. They’re all lies. The military isn’t in shambles, and they’re actually trying to destroy the credibility of the FBI.

Our nation lost a lot of respect from the rest of the world during the George W. Bush administration. Starting a war on false pretenses, destabilizing it, killing tens of thousands of people, and creating a haven for terrorists will do that. Also, when you attempt to demean an ally who disagrees with you by renaming french fries “freedom fries,” and your president can’t enunciate “nuclear,” respect goes out the window.

Respect toward the United States was rebuilt during the Obama era. Speaking coherently helps.

Respect for our nation is again falling into a gutter. The world looks toward Angela Merkel and Justin Trudeau to be champions of freedom and democracy, not Donald Trump.

People don’t respect you when they play to your vanities. They don’t respect you when it works. They don’t respect patronizing Nazis and pedophiles, verbally attacking women and minorities, and they don’t respect when you call the first line of freedom, a free press, enemies of your nation.

You are not respected when you deny there was an attack on your democracy by a hostile nation, despite your own intelligence agencies verifying it. Failing to protect your country, which you’ve sworn to do, is not respected.

You are not respected by expressing admiration for thugs, bullies, and autocrats who lead China, Russia, Turkey, and the Philippines.

You are not respected by pulling out of the Paris climate treaty, something that only one other nation in the world refuses to join.

When you proclaim Jerusalem, which the world recognizes as occupied territory, as Israel’s capital, you lose respect. When every single nation in the world disagrees with you, you lose respect. When your action gets your nation thrown out of the peace talks, you lose respect.

When your vice president is an ass-kissing weasel, you lose respect. When your entire party follows suit with the ass kissing, you lose respect.

When nearly half the nation selects a narcissistic, juvenile, sexist, racist, anti-Semitic ignoramus as its leader, the nation loses respect.

When you threaten to start World War 3, you lose respect. When you refer to your enemy, who has nuclear weapons, as “little rocket man,” you lose respect. When you lose a war of insults with Kim Jong Un, you lose respect and people start to believe you are a “dotard.”

When you send your ambassador to the United Nations to threaten and intimidate its members on how they vote in a meaningless, non-binding measure, you lose respect. When you threaten your allies, tell them you’re “taking names,” and will withhold financial assistance in the future if they don’t do what you want, you lose respect. When you attempt the aforementioned, ignoring the reality that there are upcoming votes that do serve your interest, you lose respect because they think you’re an idiot.

And your ambassador, who was formerly respected, has lost all respect.

And that’s the way it is, see…

Creative notes: This is kind of how I get an idea. I read the story of Nikki Haley attempting to intimidate the world at the United Nations. Immediately I think of how it’s Christmas time, and she’s putting everyone on a naughty list. The problem is, since it’s my first thought then other cartoonists will be drawing it. There’s always one, two, or 20 cartoonists who go for the first and most obvious idea and, I’ve seen a couple already. My second thought is how Trump is trying to use gangster diplomacy.

I thought of old-time gangsters and I google “who finished every sentence with ‘see’?” It was Edward G. Robinson who was in the film Key Largo. Then, I google images of Edward G. Robinson. And, just to cover my bases, I read his Wikipedia page, which I do for everyone I’m going to cover or who inspires a cartoon. Honestly though, the true inspiration is probably the caricature of him in the 1946 Bugs Bunny cartoon “Racketeer Rabbit.” I also googled gangster and 1920s slang for “party,” but I couldn’t find one.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Arr! A Cartoon For Scurvy Dogs


cjones09222017

Sometimes, an editorial cartoonist has to suspend reality and use creative license. There is no way Donald Trump could pronounce half the words in this cartoon.

Donald Trump spoke at the United Nations and said the word “sovereignty” twenty-one times. The funny thing is, he didn’t mention Russia once, which is the only nation that has recently attacked our sovereignty. He did however, unleash his fourth-grade rhetoric to delight the international congregation. As we are sending thoughts and prayers to Mexico after the earthquake, the rest of the world is sending us the same for Donald Trump. We’ll be digging out for a very long time.

During his promotion of American nationalism and screw everyone else, Trump once again referred to Kim Jong Un as “Rocket Man,” and asked for help to fight “loser terrorists” (because they couldn’t get dates in high school?) The insecure and childish name-calling didn’t seem to go down as well in a room for educated international diplomats as much as it would for an alt-right rally in West Virginia.

Trump’s team bragged that the “Rocket Man” line was Trump’s own inclusion without receiving any help from his team. Really? Putin’s Tiny Dancer didn’t need any help with the schoolyard insult? He did have assistance writing the speech from known-xenophobe Stephen Miller (who I confused for Sebastian Gorka in yesterday’s column. Sorry if anyone got excited when I wrote that Miller had been fired. I also confused Jimmy Kimmel with Jimmy Fallon, and none of you fuckers were able to catch both mistakes. It was either the “Kimmel/Fallon” thing or the “Miller” goof).

Trump started off his speech talking about the American economy and our military might. I’m slightly surprised he didn’t mention winning Michigan, “Crooked Hillary,” or ask how many in the room liked Joe Arpaio. He eventually got to international topics and said, “Major portions of the world are in conflict, and some, in fact, are going to hell.” It wasn’t as juicy as his “American Carnage” inauguration speech, but the sycophants loved it.

Trump successfully attacked Venezuela without using the term “bad hombres.” Then, he attacked Iran, which we’re all down for, but he threatened to cancel the nuclear agreement we spent many months negotiating with several international partners. He promised that we’ll be hearing about the treaty again and summed that up with his usual “believe me,” which means we may or may not be hearing of it again.

The problem with pulling out of a treaty where Iran agreed to curtail their nuclear development is that it will leave Iran without any agreement to stop their nuclear development. Iran has met all of their obligations listed in the treaty so far. If we nix the deal it will inform the rest of the world that they cannot trust the United States. It’s hard enough now that we have to sell them on the idea of talking to Donald Trump.

Breaking a promise will also tell North Korea that any agreement they make with us will only be as good as the paper it’s written on, kinda like one of them degrees from Trump University. But then again, perhaps we aren’t interested in any diplomatic negotiations with North Korea.

Trump threatened to “totally destroy” the DPRK yesterday. What incentive does a rogue regime have in dismantling their nuclear weapon program when the world’s greatest military power is describing in great detail how it may destroy them?

Conservatives loved Trump’s speech. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, “In more than 30 years of my acquaintance with the U.N., I have not heard a more courageous and sharp speech.” He has, but not from anyone whose ass he wanted to kiss. Sweden’s ambassador said, “It was the wrong speech, at the wrong time, to the wrong audience.” France’s Emmanuel Macron disagreed with several parts of Trump’s speech. Iran’s foreign minister said it was “ignorant hate speech.” Hey, welcome to our party. Have you seen the hats?

We need diplomacy more than bombs. It’s kinda hard to engage in diplomacy when you don’t have diplomats. In addition to cutting the State Department’s budget, a lot of ambassador posts remain unfilled. In addition to eight posts at the United Nations that remain vacant, we currently do not have ambassadors in important nations such as South Korea, India, Australia, Cuba, Egypt, Afghanistan, France, Germany, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and the European Union. We also have several posts unfilled in unimportant places like Lesotho, Bahamas, Belize, Belarus, Eritrea, Jamaica, Mauritania, Trinidad and Tobago, and Mauritius & Seychelles. So, eh.

We don’t even have an ambassador to Russia, unless we count the one currently sitting in the Oval Office.

Creative notes: Every cartoonist in the nation is doing something with “Rocket Man” today. I decided to wait, and maybe not do anything with it at all. Though, that “Putin’s Tiny Dancer” line wasn’t half bad.

Yesterday was “Talk Like A Pirate” day. I am not a fan of cartoons using a holiday theme being drawn and published AFTER the freaking holiday. I see it every year with Christmas and Halloween. Though it wasn’t a holiday, a lot of cartoonists kept drawing eclipse cartoons days after the eclipse. But, I’m breaking one of my own rules with this one. “Talk Like A Pirate” day isn’t a real holiday anyway. Plus, I don’t know if I’ve ever used it before. If I have, it was back when I worked for The Free Lance-Star, and they’ve deleted all the cartoons I drew for them from their website. All the originals from those 14 years are in boxes in one of my friend’s attic.

I suck at talking like a pirate. It’s arrrrrful. See?

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Briefed By Ivanka


cjones05012017

Saudi Arabia is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman. Women can’t drive, vote, ask for a divorce, or even be seen in public without being in the company of a man. It’s like every woman in the nation is married to Mike Pence.

The United Nations has placed Saudi Arabia on the Women’s Rights Commission which made a lot of people say “you put who where now?”. The Arab kingdom mandates discrimination against women. How does it make any sense to put them on a commission for women’s rights? That would be like putting Iran on that commission except they’ve already done that.

Maybe there is a method to the madness. Perhaps putting these horrible regimes on a commission with nations that do not require women to conceal their faces can be an influence. Perhaps they’ll see how the modern world treats people and just how ass backwards they are.

Did German Chancellor Angela Merkel apply the same method in inviting Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, to a women’s empowerment panel in Berlin? The other women on the panel were International Monetary Fund director Christine Lagarde, and Canadian Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland. Merkel, Lagarde, and Freeland were on the panel because of their accomplishments and the fact that they’re world leaders. None of the three achieved their accomplishments through nepotism. Those leaders have earned their place. Ivanka was born into hers.

The moderator asked Ivanka who she was representing, President Trump, the American people, or her own business interests. What she should have been asked was: What qualifies you for a job in the White House? What is it that you actually do in dad’s administration? What the Hell are you doing on this panel?

Ivanka dismisses the media’s coverage of her father’s bigotry and callousness toward women. She blames the media. She doesn’t blame the man who bragged on a bus about grabbing vaginas and moving on a woman “like a bitch.” She doesn’t blame the man who told a contestant on his reality show that it would be a pretty sight to see her on her knees. She doesn’t blame the man who has called Rosie O’Donnell a pig and said that Megyn Kelly had “blood in her eyes” and “blood coming out of her wherever.” She doesn’t blame the guy who looked at a child and said “I’ll be dating her in ten years.” She doesn’t blame the guy who once said that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her.

Instead she talks about how daddy is great toward women because he promoted her in his business. If only every woman in America was Donald Trump’s daughter. The only bad part of that would be that he’d want to date them and he’d go on a talk show while they’re infants and speculate on how large their breasts will become.

Ivanka says her dad is in favor of a paid-family-leave plan. So when’s he going to push that through Congress? Where was her influence when he was trying to cut funding to Planned Parenthood?

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump hosted the House Freedom Caucus to discuss healthcare, including those that affect women’s health benefits, and there were no women present? Sure, Ivanka shows up if she can sit next to Merkel or Justin Trudeau.

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump chose his nearly-all-male and white cabinet? Was it the dressing in drag skit that kept Giuliani out of the administration?

Perhaps Ivanka was too focused on her brand, where the bulk of it is made in Africa and Asia, mostly by women who are paid chump change. According to The Washington Postworkers in a factory in China, which holds an exclusive license to produce Ivanka Trump crap, works their workers 60 hours a week for a salary of $62.

So no. Ivanka does not belong on a panel discussing empowering women anymore than Saudi Arabia belongs on a commission for women’s rights. She’s empowered herself. She’s a billion-dollar princess who, like her brothers, got where she is through birth. Now they’re bringing their nepotism and conflicts of interest to our government as if we are a monarchy.

Saudi Arabia on a women’s right’s panel, and Ivanka in a women empowerment discussion with women who are actually accomplished is confusing. It’s as confusing as the fact that more women voted for Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton.

C’mon, ladies. Help yourselves out here.

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Falling On Netty And His Little Broom Too


cjones12272016

After the United Nations Security Council voted 14-0 to condemn Israel for continuing to build settlements in East Jerusalem, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said “friends don’t take friends to the Security Council.” As Vincent Vega said to Butch in Pulp Fiction, “I’m not your friend, Palooka.”

Netanyahu was so upset over the vote that he summoned ambassadors from the voting nations that have a diplomatic presence in the Jewish state to give them an official scolding. He’s even accused the Obama administration, which could have vetoed the ruling but instead abstained, of orchestrating the vote.

It would take a lot of orchestrating to convince fourteen nations to give your country an international lashing. The nations of China, France, Russia, United Kingdom, Angola, Egypt, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, Senegal, Spain, Ukraine, Uruguay, and Venezuela were unanimous that Israel needs to stop building settlements on territory claimed by the Palestinians. When 15 nations are against you, you might be the on the wrong side.

The land in question was taken in the Six-Day War in 1967. The Geneva Convention forbids building settlements on land taken in war. Israel’s continued defiance of international law puts them in the pariah type of company of Iran and North Korea, except no one really gives Israel a hard time about possessing nuclear weapons.

In 1947 Jerusalem was intended to be an international area administered by the United Nations. Jordan captured the Eastern half with Israel taking the West. Israel captured the East in 1967 and later declared the city as their capital. You can see how that can peeve everyone off and be an obstacle to a two-nation state solution. Other nations do not recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital as it violates international law, but Donald Trump is promising to do so and to move our embassy to the city while stating he’ll create peace between Israel and Palestine. That’s going to be interesting.

Trump doesn’t realize he’s not actually president yet and he’s stepping on Obama’s toes in several matters including this one. Before the vote he Tweeted that the U.S. should veto the resolution and afterward sent another tweet stating that the UN “is just a club for people to get together, talk and have a good time.” The ironic thing is he sent that tweet from his Mar-a-Lago golf club.

Another case of irony in this is Netanyahu’s statement about our friendship. This is a guy who spoke before the U.S. Congress, without an invitation from the president, to basically campaign for Republicans against the president.

Netanyahu is probably more excited about a Trump presidency than David Duke, which is another case of irony.

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Getting Serious With Putin


cjones09302015

Golly, did Vladimir Putin dis Obama at Monday’s meeting at the United Nations? You can bet rubles on it.

Putin has a history of throwing his weight around world leaders. Knowing German leader Angela Merkel has a fear of dogs, Putin brought his huge labrador into their meetings. So yesterday he chose to make Obama wait 20 minutes for their lunch date.  What a nice guy. I’m sure there’s something more important than meeting with the leader of the free world.

The United States wants Bashar Assad out of Syria. Russia thinks we have to work with him. Francois Hollande, president of France put it best saying “you can’t put together victims and the people who are killing them. Assad is the origin of this problem, and cannot be part of the solution”.

Hard truth time. Putin makes good points regarding fighting ISIS, but they’re wrong about Assad. When Russia helps Assad fight ISIS, Assad will most likely be targeting rebels in his civil war, and civilians.

Other hard truth: Obama has no strategy for Syria. It will be his only failure in the eyes of historians. But beyond Obama the United States does not have credibility in establishing leaders in the Middle East. It doesn’t matter if the president is a Democrat or a Republican. American Foreign policy usually sucks. Despite the right wing love affair, it sucked under Reagan. Yes. It sucked under Reagan.

We have destabilized the Middle East. We did that long before Iraq. We did that in the 1950’s. We spent decades supporting Israel without question. We supported coups in Iran. We bombed Iraq for oil prices. A decade later we invaded Iraq because someone attacked us from Afghanistan. We invaded Afghanistan. We supported the Arab Spring in Libya and Egypt. Which of these has worked out? For that matter it doesn’t work out for Russia either.

We created an atmosphere for ISIS. Russia created an atmosphere for the Taliban. It seems the only solution is to mess up a country together. That’ll be new.

Yeah, this is gonna work out.

I love the movie Airplane. Yeah, you kinda see the punchline coming. I wonder if younger people won’t understand the reference.