Trump Crime Family

Ivanka Beans


cjones07192020

I love seeing posts on social media from white conservatives swearing they’ll replace Goya’s Hispanic and Latino customers which leads them to ask, “Where can I find it?”.  White people, it’s on that aisle you never go down and in case you’re a Republican, “INTL” means “international.”

See, they’ve never bought it before and when they do find it, it’ll sit at the back of their cupboards until the end of time or until they take it to their white church’s food drive where it’ll end up at the back of some other white conservative’s cabinet. Let’s face facts: Even if you can eat it, you’re not going to know what to do with it. You’re going to be like Ivanka Trump. She has a job in the White House and she doesn’t know what to do with it.

Ivanka is pretty and has presented herself as the reasonable Trump. Some bought that ridiculous bullshit for a while but the ruse is over. She’s just as stupid and vile as the rest of them.

She’s stupid, along with her brothers, as they didn’t know how to vote. Seriously. They went to vote for their daddy in the New York Republican primary in 2016 and found out they couldn’t because they were registered in the Democratic Party. Think about it. Why should someone have a government job when they can’t even figure out how to vote? If you really believed in a candidate, wouldn’t you make sure you knew how to support him…especially if that candidate was your jackass father?

She’s vile too. She promised to be the advocate for women issues in the White House, yet she’s remained silent on the over two dozen allegations of her father sexually assaulting women. She came out against Alabama Republican Senate Candidate, renowned pedophile, and mall foodcourt aficionado until her daddy defended him. Then, once again, she was silent. While children were being ripped apart from their parents at the border with 1,500 being unaccounted for, she tweeted a sweet and loving glamour photo of her and her son with a big heart emoji.

She doesn’t miss a beat when traveling with her father on international trips. She made sure her face was seen in a window at Buckingham Palace, another historic building she doesn’t belong in, and also took advantage of her position to step into North Korea, a place where she can belong, just to be able to say she did it.

At international conferences, she joins conversations on serious matters with world leaders and pretends she knows the subjects. Her father has had her sit in on cabinet meetings. You could put one of those bubonic squirrels the press alerted us to yesterday at one of these meetings and it couldn’t get more nutty.

Ivanka’s qualifications for being an adviser to the president (sic) is that she’s the president’s daughter. Unless there’s a serious international incident with handbags, I don’t see where her expertise will ever be necessary. The same goes for her dipshit stupid jackoff husband, Jared. He’s been placed in policy ranging from immigration to peace in the Middle East to a response to the coronavirus where he told us the federal stockpile of PPE was “our stockpile” and not for the states. Can we have the squirrel?

Jared has been a worm in his position in that he’s been conducting secret talks with foreign powers outside of the State Department and undermining the Secretary of State. His family’s company has also been given bailouts by foreign governments, just like Ivanka’s products continue to be granted patents in China. Between the election and inauguration, dumbass Jared went to the Russian embassy and proposed they create a backchannel to communicate so U.S. intelligence couldn’t listen in. Why would he want that? And even that discussion was caught by our intelligence. He’s using WhatsApp to talk to the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia.

Jared and Ivanka do not belong in the White House. To help unknowingly make that case, Ivanka is in charge of a new jobs program called “Try Something New.” A new ad debuted yesterday of people who couldn’t get jobs in their old careers, so they just got new ones. Who knew all you had to after losing your job was find something else to do? I’m sure half of the nation’s population without a job because of her dad’s lousy response to the coronavirus will appreciate that information. By the way, did you know you can quit drugs by just saying “no?”

While we were trying to absorb a “jobs program” from a person who has never had to apply or interview for a job in her entire fucking life, telling us to “try something new,” she released another glamour shot. This one of her holding a can of Goya black beans in the style of game show hostess. There was no “My heart” with this one but her love of black beans seems about as genuine as the pic of her with her son.

This photo, which will just endear itself to the Hispanic and Latino community to change their minds about boycotting the products after its president praised Donald Trump’s “leadership,” is a violation of the Hatch Act.

Government employees can’t promote products though I’m sure nothing will come of it because nothing did when Kellyanne Conway went on TV and hawked products for Ivanka…or that time a Trump property was promoted at WhiteHouse.org. In fact, the non-partisan Citizens for Ethics and Accountability in Washington found 3,241 conflicts of interest from the Trump administration. Basically, it’s all self-dealing.

And now, Ivanka has used her position to pimp Goya. If you’re the president of Goya, or own stock in it, you’re probably going to want the Trumps to stop promoting your product, which Donald Trump has also done on Twitter. You don’t want the people responsible for jails for brown babies promoting your product aimed at brown people. That would be like putting John Wayne Gacy on a box of cereal. Who’s crazy for Coco Puffs?

I don’t think people are going to line up and start eating black beans because Ivanka posed with a can of them. A can of black beans I’m certain weren’t already in her cabinet before the boycott, and that someone had to purchase for her. But hey, maybe she’ll actually open the can and give them a try.

Can openers come with instructions, right?

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Trust-Fund Royalty


cjones01112020

I had an excellent blog planned out in my head and I started on this cartoon at 5:30 a.m. Then, something struck in my stomach and I’ve been laid out nearly all day. I don’t know if it’s the cheeseburger I had last night or that I had two of them.

At any rate, no blog today. You got this. I gotta try to rest up before I start writing ideas for CNN. I hurt.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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A Junior Sacrifice


cjones11132019

A few years ago, a special interest group asked me to draw a series of cartoons for them on climate change. They didn’t specify where they stood on climate change in their initial feeler, but I got the idea they wanted me to provide cartoons denying it. They didn’t even specify what they would do with the cartoons or where they would be published. Before I replied, I did a little digging (in case you’re a Republican, that’s research) and discovered the company was owned by a much larger company famous for pumping millions into Republican candidates, right-wing think tanks, and mostly into efforts fighting climate change legislation.

I declined for two reasons. The first reason is that I believe in climate change. Why did they seek me out? There are plenty of hack cartoonists out there who’d be willing to take their money. The other reason I declined is that working for them would have been unethical. Even though I draw cartoons, I’m still a journalist. I need to retain some independence, credibility, and integrity. This company wanted a series of cartoons and they were offering me a lot of money to do it. Did I make a sacrifice for principles? Sure. But you could also argue that if I did it and took the money, that I would have sacrificed something much costlier.

When I think about veterans, like my father, and those who died and are buried in Arlington National Cemetery (which is just up the road from where I live), I don’t think, “gee…I can relate. I sacrificed too because I turned down a money-making opportunity. I’m awesome.” What kind of ridiculous asshole would even think such a thing to compare losing money to lost lives? Donald Trump Jr. is that kind of ridiculous asshole.

Donald Trump Jr. has written a book. I know. Who knew he would even bother reading a book, less enough write one. It’s only about 300 pages, which someone with an adequate level of literacy could read in one sitting. It’s called, “Triggered: How the Left Thrives on Hate and Wants to Silence Us.” In it, Jr writes, “A victimhood complex has taken root in the American left,” while using all 300 pages to whine about how he, his father, and family have all be victimized.

In one passage from Triggered, Trumpy Jr. compares his “sacrifices” to those who have fought and died for our nation. He recounts a visit to Arlington National Cemetary and as Taps was playing, “In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we’d already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we’d have to make to help my father succeed — voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were ‘profiting off the office.”

Seriously, Jr? Hearing Taps make you think of lost money and not lost lives? At the very least, hearing Taps should have made you think of all the money you stole from veterans with your fake charity.

Author and Iraq War veteran Matt Gallagher tweeted at Jr., “Imagine going to Arlington … and being moved to think about money. You are a soup sandwich, @DonaldJTrumpJr, and my friends buried there would tell you the same thing.” A soup sandwich indeed.

Jr, you haven’t sacrificed shit. You haven’t even earned what you have less enough sacrificed to get it. You didn’t have to be the best to get into college. You didn’t have to be the best to get a job at your company. You didn’t have to be the best to get your position in that company. You don’t have to give good speeches to get speaking engagements. You don’t have to have any qualifications or accomplishments to go on talk shows. Hell, you didn’t even have to write a good book to get a book deal. Everything you have is because your name is Donald Trump. You have never had to need or want anything in your life. You’ve never had to work or accomplish anything to be where you are today. What the hell do you know about anything? You don’t even know how to be honest as just this week, a court has ordered you and your shithead siblings to attend classes to learn you’re not supposed to steal from charities.

This is the same guy who claimed he could make millions if his name was Hunter Biden. The guy who is currently making millions because he is literally named “Donald Trump.” And even his claim of a sacrifice is a lie because he’s still making foreign business deals. Has Hunter Biden ever stolen from a charity? Has a court ordered him to attend classes to learn that putting money meant for charitable causes into your own pocket is bad?

On top of all that, Jr should stop comparing himself to those who have served and actually sacrificed for our country. His father is a draft dodger. He never served and neither did his brother, Eric, or his brother-in-law, Jared, who are all making money off the presidency. People who served were shot at, Jr. When you go to Africa and shoot big game animals on a reserve, they’re not shooting back.

Obviously, Jr projects a lot. It must run in the family, just like being oblivious. The best example of him projecting and being oblivious is the fact his book is titled “Triggered.”

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Grifter Strikes Again


cjones11122019

During the 2016 presidential campaign, a poll showed that between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, respondents believed Clinton was less honest than Trump. Believing in something doesn’t make it true. If I asked you to list lies told by Clinton, maybe you could name three. If you visit Politifact’s page listing false statements told by Clinton, you’ll find there are two pages. Wow! That’s a lot of false statements. If you visit their section listing false statements made by Donald Trump, you’ll find there are 13 pages. The Washington Post has counted over 13,000 lies told by Donald Trump just in the time that he’s been president.

Clinton’s haters used the Clinton Foundation, a charitable enterprise of the Clinton family, as evidence of her corruption. They cited donations made to it by foreign governments while she was Secretary of State. They can’t find any actual corruption, but Hillary booga, booga, booga.

Yet, the Clinton Foundation has never been cited for fraud by a court of law. It’s never been found as a slush fund or personal piggy bank for the Clinton family. It was never used as an arm of any political campaign. The facts don’t matter anyway to Trump supporters because they don’t really care about fraud, corruption, or abuse of a charity. They don’t even care if you use a charity to grift from veterans. They only pretend to care. Why do I say this? Because they don’t care that Donald Trump has done everything and more that they’ve accused Clinton of doing.

Donald Trump had (past tense people, and you’ll see why in a minute) a charity called the Trump Foundation. Trump likes to think of any money he has access to as his money. When his foundation actually donated to charitable causes, Trump would claim he made that donation even though it actually came from other people who donated to his charity. Now as president, he thinks taxpayer money is his to do with as he pleases too.

How much money did Trump personally contribute to the Trump Foundation? Since 2008, none. Trump solicited outside donations. Often, he would accept payment for appearances, like his Wrestlemania stint, by having it contributed to the foundation. That’s how you avoid payroll taxes. After it’s given to the foundation, nobody knows if it went to something charitable or to his wallet. There was really no accounting. The board of directors (which included three of his kids) did not conduct a meeting in over two decades. How much have the Clintons contributed to the charity that bears their name? Between 2001 and 2015, $23.2 million.

You may think that at least the money other people give to the Trump Foundation does go to charity. Uuuuuuuhhhhh…not always. Donald Trump has a history of using the foundation as a personal slush fund. He’s used money from it to purchase gifts for himself (as in paintings of himself and sports memorabilia), to pay off fines for his golf resorts, and to make campaign contributions (like to Pam Bondi in Florida). Washington Post reporter David Farenthold won a Pulitzer Prize detailing the corruption of the Trump Foundation.

Now, Donald Trump has been ordered by a New York state court to pay $2 million to charities for misusing his foundation for personal profit and political use. He also has to dissolve the Trump Foundation and to distribute the remaining $1.7 million to other charities that have no connection to Trump (that part’s important to make clear to him).

During the presidential campaign, Trump skipped a Republican debate and held a competing fundraising event. He claimed he was raising money for veterans. By the end of the evening, he claimed to have raised over $6 million for vets. As it turns out, even that was a lie.

Trump did raise $2.8 million but as it turns out, it wasn’t a charitable event. It was a campaign event. Some of the money did go to veterans. Where did the bulk of it go? Nobody knows. Did it go into the Trump campaign? Did it go into Trump’s pockets?

In case you’re new to this, it’s illegal for a charity to be used politically or to benefit the self-interest of its executives. In this situation, the Trump campaign was put in charge of spending for the Trump Foundation. Shocking.

This wasn’t a snafu. It wasn’t just some sloppy saccounting. It wasn’t an oops. This was deliberate and corrupt. This was Donald Trump using veterans and stealing from them.

The best part of this is that Donald Trump has admitted he used the charity politically and for personal use. He has also agreed that any charity he becomes involved with in the future will have a majority of independent directors, lawyers with expertise in nonprofit law and an accounting firm to monitor its grants and expenses. Additionally, his kids who were on the board, Donald Jr, Eric, and Ivanka, will undergo training in order to ensure they do not engage in similar improprieties. How bad is it that these adults have to take classes teaching them not to steal?

Though he admitted he used the campaign politically and as a personal slush fund, last night Trump tweeted that the suit was brought by “political hacks” and that he had given “100 percent of the funds to great charities” and had suffered “4 years of politically motivated harassment” by the attorney general’s office.  He also tweeted, “All they found was incredibly effective philanthropy and some small technical violations.” No, Donald. What they found was a lying crook who continues to lie after a settlement was reached. Putting other people’s shit into your pocket is not a “small technical violation.”

Trump also said this was one of the reasons he’s moving to Florida after he leaves the White House. Apparently, he believes Florida will allow him to be corrupt. He’s probably right.

Today, the Trump Campaign is paying the legal bills for him and his children over every suit involving his presidency. And all that money that went into his inauguration from private donors? We don’t know where it is or how it was spent. It went buh-bye.

Donald Trump is a liar, a crook, a grifter, a conman, and a thief. If you’re a Trump supporter, you either don’t know that or you don’t care. What’s most bizarre about not accepting the truth about Trump’s corruption is that the person he’s conning….is you.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

The Chump Foundation


cjones06232018

The New York Attorney General has filed suit against Donald Trump and his three eldest children for “persistently illegal conduct” at his charity, the Trump Foundation.

The AG alleges that Trump misused the charity to pay off his businesses’ creditors, to decorate one of his golf clubs and to stage a multimillion-dollar giveaway at his 2016 campaign events.

Attorney General Barbara Underwood asked a state judge to dissolve the Donald J. Trump Foundation, that its remaining $1 million in assets be distributed to other charities, and Trump be forced to pay at least $2.8 million in restitution and penalties. Trump says he will fight the suit and vows he will never settle, which may be like his promise not to settle a lawsuit against Trump University which he settled for $25 million.

The Trump Foundation is as much of a charity as Trump University was a university. Trump has not made a donation to his own charity since 2008, the board of directors hadn’t met in 19 years, and the official treasurer wasn’t even aware he was on the board. If Trump really wants to nail Hillary, he’d appoint her without her knowledge to one of his scams. Hell, she may be ambassador to North Korea at this very moment.

Trump has attacked the AG and accused the suit of being political and conducted by “sleazy” Democrats. What’s not supposed to be political is his charity. It’s going to be very difficult for Trump to claim innocence when there’s footage of him at a campaign event holding a giant Happy Gilmore-sized check with “Donald J. Trump Foundation” in the upper left corner, and centered on the bottom “Make America Great Again.” What’s wrong with that? The Trump Foundation is a charity, the slogan “Make American Great Again” is a nationalistic, racist campaign slogan, and it was at a campaign event.

Saying his charity wasn’t used politically when there’s proof it was is as absurd as saying “no collusion” after you invited Russian spies into Trump Tower. It would be like Trump at a campaign event asking Putin to hack Clinton’s email or him telling a reporter he fired Comey to end the Russia investigation, if only that sort of footage actually existed (Psst, it does).

As it turns out, Trump’s campaign manager was directing when and where donations from the foundation were made. Trump raised $2.8 million at a campaign event for veterans’ charities and then turned the money over to the campaign for distribution, like donations made to charity groups in Iowa the weekend before the primary vote.

Trump didn’t just start abusing the charity during his Russian-backed presidential campaign. He used it to purchase gifts for himself, make political donations, and settle lawsuits against his resorts years before he came down the escalator to ruin all our lives. He used a charity to pay his debts with other people’s money.

Trump is the kind of guy who will dodge the draft, attack POWs and Gold Star families, then state how patriotic he is and how much he respects the military while using the military in one of his sketchy schemes. Some people might find using veterans in a scam a worse transgression than kneeling during a song.

He’s also the kind of guy who projects. He has attacked the Clinton Foundation on numerous occasions and tagged his opponent with “Crooked Hillary,” accusing her of participating in pay-for-play schemes with foreign entities, while his foundation was taking a $150,000 donation from a Russian oligarch.

Trump has taken personal credit for donations made by the foundation, and he’s taken credit for donations where there are no records that he made any. He’s a conman of epic proportions. He may be the most corrupt businessman in American history. He’s refused to pay contractors after they completed their end of the bargain, he ran a fake university, he’s done business with mobsters, created pyramid schemes, exploited foreign workers, had questionable bankruptcies, and his businesses are used by Russian oligarchs and mobsters for money laundering. It’s no wonder American banks won’t do business with him anymore. And yet, about 60 million Americans thought it was a good idea to make him president.

A lawsuit won’t put Trump and his demon spawns in prison, but the case has been referred to the Federal Elections Commission and the Internal Revenue Service. It’s not likely those two agencies will send him to the big house either.

But, it would be best for everyone if they could get him out of the White House.

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