Subway

Jared Is Shown The Bright Side


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Jared Fogle, the guy who became a pitchman for Subway after losing a lot of weight eating nothing but their sandwiches, has agreed to plead guilty to charge of receiving child pornography and paying for sex with girls as young as 16. He also paid prostitutes a finders’ fee to find children as young as 14 to commit sex acts with him.

The agreement released by prosecutors said Fogle will pay $1.4 million in restitution to 14 minor victims, who will each receive $100,000. He will also be required to register as a sex offender and undergo treatment for sexual disorders.

The government agreed not to seek a sentence of more than 12½ years in prison, and Fogle agreed not to ask for less than five years, according to court documents.

Here’s the thing; he may still end up doing more than 12 years in the joint. The maximum federal penalty for child porn is 12 years and for sex with a minor he can get 30. A judge doesn’t have to go by this deal. He can make Jared serve longer and maybe combine the two charges. We’ll find out soon enough.

I find it peculiar that he received child porn from the guy running his charity. How do these guys find out they shared interests of child porn and sandwiches? Were they sitting down over a couple of Subway Chipotle Guacamole Chicken Melts when one said to the other “by the way, do you enjoy physically and psychologically traumatizing a child for the rest of his life?”

At least none of the guys were his sisters unlike fun Mr. Moral Guy Josh Duggar. Duggar, one of the 19-Kids-And-Counting kids is well known for opposing gay marriage and telling other people how they should live a moral and ethical life such as his. A few months ago it came out that he used to fondle his little sisters while they were sleeping. He apparently fondled other little girls who were not his sisters.

Well there’s this website called Ashley Madison which is a date site for people who want to cheat on their spouses. Oh, you heard of the fine. A bunch of hackers broke into the site and stole a bunch of their clients’ information. Yesterday they exposed a bunch of of those cheaters. Guess who was on the list.

Yup. Josh Duggar. Now Mr. Duggar, like Mr. Fogle, has stated he needs professional help and will seek it out.

I have always admired the integrity of individuals who recognize they have a sickness and seek help…you know, after they’re caught and publicly humiliated.

That’s just the first celebrity. There’s always a celebrity cheating on the spouse. I find the Duggar case more interesting because he’s the kind of guy who’s a hypocrite and will never have an uptight homophobic baker refuse to make him a cake. Mostly I’m interested if any politicians will show up on the list.

I don’t think I would ever be in danger of being on a list such as this. I’m single now and I don’t do online dating. I just don’t trust it and quite frankly, I find it kinda needy and pathetic. So I can’t get in trouble or exposed for cheating or surfing the web for hookups, though I have gotten in trouble for petting another dog.

I drew two roughs for this cartoon. My pal Stefen told me I should go with this pants version.

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He laughed immediately when he saw it. He kinda inspired this idea by making a pants statement we both immediately forgot. However, after showing both to another friend I decided to go with the cartoon that covered Fogle and Ashley Madison.

Here’s that rough.

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A Footlong In Utah


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Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

I made a mistake in the cartoon and named the town “Riverdale” instead of Springdale. I must have been thinking of The Archies. There is a Riverdale in Utah and I did a Wiki on that knowing it was Springdale. Duh! Second mistake I made last week (I drew this last Friday).

I actually sent this idea as a joke to the editors at the Indy. I even told them I was sending it knowing there was no way they would ever use it. Well they debated it and wanted to use it.

Editorial cartoonist have a reputation of trying to put something dirty, risque, scandalous and even dangerous in a cartoon. It’s a pretty accurate reputation and it can fit me at times. Usually I’m all gung ho to draw a cartoon with an euphemism for penis but this wasn’t my favorite idea.

Thinking the editors would kill the sandwich idea, I threw another idea at them.

An Iron County (Utah) deputy recently fought being laid off. A committee for the county overturned his firing and reinstated him to the sheriff’s department. A county attorney decided to appeal. I came up with this idea which involved the story of the girl who’s famous (though I’ve never heard of her) who said she hated America and licked doughnuts.

The editors said they thought the doughnut licking story might be too obscure and readers may not be aware of it. They’re probably right. But even though I got to make a slightly dirty joke that’d never be approved by most editors with the sandwich cartoon, I still like the donut licking idea better. Here’s that rough.

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Sizing Up Jared Fogle. Cartoon For The Daily Dot


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This week’s cartoon for The Daily Dot.

I drew this Wednesday night. Sorry we’re just now getting it posted. My editor suggested the topic and I wasn’t sure about it. A former employee of his Fogle’s charity is facing child porn charges. There is a very good chance Fogle is a victim here. I am curious why his home was raided. Did his employee use computers or software in the Fogle home? I think it’d be helpful if Fogel’s reps would comment on that.

My first idea was Subway losing 200 lbs….by dropping Fogle as a spokesman. Eh. I didn’t even make a draft of that one.

By the way: This doesn’t have anything to do with the issue, but did you notice that Jared may be straying from the Subway diet? The video footage of his home being raided showed Fogle outside and the man was sporting some pretty hefty man boobs.

Here’s the rough, though it wasn’t the original angle I was going with.WP_20150708_003

 

This was the first concept. Right as I was emailing it to my editor I realized it would be funnier if Jared was actually wearing the pants.

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