Subpoena

MAGA-Lardo Subpoenas

Donald Trump is preparing to be arrested by the Manhattan District Attorney next week, politicizing it, fundraising off it, and trying to create another violent riot from it. This case stems from paying hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels in 2016, days before the election, to keep quiet about boinking in a Las Vegas hotel room just four months after Melania gave birth to Baron. It’s not illegal to cheat on your wife four months after she gave birth to your fifth child. It’s not illegal to shag porn stars in Vegas. It’s not even illegal to pay hush money to a porn star to keep quiet about boinking in Vegas. But…it is a crime to donate money to your own campaign and not file it.

Michael Cohen, who was Trump’s lawyer/fixer at the time, paid Stormy $130,000 in the scheme, and Trump reimbursed Cohen later with a check…AFTER he was in the White House. Trump committed a crime and he did it while he was president. This should be his third impeachment.

Trump has denied having sex with Stormy Daniels but has admitted reimbursing Michael Cohen.

Former National Enquirer publisher David Pecker should also be facing criminal charges for paying a Playboy playmate $150,000 shortly before the 2016 election to keep quiet about her trysts with Tiny.

While the Manhattan case may be historic in that a former president (sic) is arrested, and extremely embarrassing when we get to see Trump’s mug shot and hopefully a perp walk (pleeeeeeeeeeeeease let there be a perp walk of Trump in handcuffs), it’s not the case that’s the biggest threat to Trump.

The greatest threat to Trump is the case in Georgia where Trump engaged in election interference, fraud, tampering, intimidation, etc, and the Special Counsel probe of Trump trying to steal the election, instigating a terrorist attack on the Capitol, obstructing Congress while it was performing a constitutionally-mandated duty, committing an insurrection, and stealing classified documents and obstructing justice.

We learned last week that Special Counsel Jack Smith has subpoenaed at least two dozen people over Trump’s handling of the documents, including employees of Mar-a-Lago. Multiple sources close to the situation said the list includes former attorneys, aides, housekeepers, restaurant workers, and other employees of the country club that has become Trump’s full-time residence.

I’ve read in the past that Trump is actually a pretty good tipper, often handing $50 bills to housekeepers. Now we know why. But I think silence should cost more than $50. If you’re an employee at Mar-a-Lago and you see something, then say something.

These investigations and prosecutions are NOT political. The Manhattan DA refused to prosecute Trump personally when he went after the Trump Organization. Donald Trump attacked our country and tried to steal an election. Sure, it’s unprecedented for a former president (sic) to be arrested, but it’s also unprecedented that a president (sic) is a traitor.

Indict Trump, arrest Trump, convict Trump, and imprison Trump. It’s the American thing to do.

Music note: I listened to Hole.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

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Toad

I have three concerns with this cartoon.

My first concern is the file size. My cartoons usually include a lot of detail which makes for large files. I create four files for each cartoon. The file for this one is incredibly small. The black and white jpeg of the cartoon is only 444K. That’s small. It may be an unnecessary concern of mine but I worry that a small file will be low in quality when it’s published.

That concern may not be necessary because of my second concern, which is…nobody’s going to run this cartoon. OK, maybe the Detroit Metro Times. They’re ballsy. And that leads to my third concern.

My third concern is that it won’t be published, not because the cartoon is about Donald Trump’s penis, but because a lot of people won’t understand the cartoon. So here goes another blog that explains the cartoon.

It’s about Trump’s dick.

One of my proofreaders didn’t understand the cartoon. It’s possible my other proofer didn’t either and she was just being nice because she’s nice. But the way I justify drawing a cartoon that possibly most of my readers and newspaper clients won’t get is: I draw a lot of cartoons. I’m the only political cartoonist in this country who gives my readers and clients a brand-new cartoon every single day (there is another guy who often shits out three a day but most of those are traced photos and stolen clipart he signs his name on, so he doesn’t count).

It’s also a Saturday and I often do crazy shit on the weekends. Anyway, my clients get enough from me they can use that one can land in the trash.

An editor might say, “I can’t use this because I don’t get it. What’s it about?”
And I would tell him, “Trump may be indicted on criminal charges for his role in hush payments to porn star Stormy Daniels, who described Trump’s dick as looking like Toad from Mario Kart.”
And then the editor would reply, “Good God, now I’m definitely not publishing this.” Unless that editor is from the Detroit Metro Times.

And yes, Trump is facing criminal charges in Manhattan as the District Attorney has invited him to testify before the grand jury. In New York, potential defendants have the right to answer questions in the grand jury before they are indicted. Most decline and I’m sure Trump will too because any testimony can be used against him. These invitations are usually followed by indictments.

District Attorney Alvin Bragg may be the first to charge Trump criminally…but not the last.

Trump is under investigation in Georgia for interfering in that state’s presidential election when he demanded Georgia’s Secretary of State to “find” him 11,780 votes. Trump HAS to be charged in Georgia. Not charging him would be criminal.

He’s also under investigation by a Special Counsel for his role in the January 6 white nationalist terrorist attack, for trying to steal the 2020 election, and for stealing government documents, many of which are classified.

Trump has also committed sooooooooooo many other crimes without any charges or even investigations. Trump not being in prison already is a testament that we have a very unequal justice system. Donald Trump is a criminal…a big fat racist orange grifting criminal.

The Manhattan investigation has been going on for five years, which is another testament to our unequal legal system.

Here’s the deets: Trump shagged Stormy Daniels years ago. He didn’t want her to talk about it during the 2016 presidential campaign, so he paid her to keep quiet about it. Trump’s lawyer/fixer, Michael Cohen, paid Stormy $130,000 in the final days of the campaign. After Trump became president (sic), he reimbursed Cohen with a check and then lied about it. Bill Clinton would have been impeached for this shit and possibly sent to prison. If there was even a rumor of President Obama doing this, there would be congressional investigations today.

One of the reasons Michael Cohen was sent to prison was for campaign finance violations. So how is Cohen guilty of breaking campaign finance laws but Trump isn’t?

Paying someone hush money isn’t a crime. But it may be a crime if you do it as a campaign contribution that isn’t filed. Concealing the payment could be the crime in this case. In New York, falsifying business records can amount to a crime, but just a misdemeanor. To elevate the crime to a felony charge, Bragg’s prosecutors must show that Trump’s “intent to defraud” included an intent to commit or conceal a second crime.

That second crime may be that the hush money was an improper donation and a violation of state election laws, in that the hush money benefited Trump’s campaign.

Initially, Stormy took her story to the National Enquirer and offered them an exclusive for which they would pay for. They did this with another woman Trump boinked, paid her for the exclusive rights to the story, then never published it in what’s often referred to as “catch and kill.” The National Enquirer was published by a Trumper, a guy named…wait for it…”Pecker.”

Instead of paying Stormy for the story, Pecker helped negotiate the hush payment with her and Michael Cohen in order to help the Trump Campaign. Trump has said the National Enquirer should be winning Pulitzers.

Nobody has ever been charged with a felony under all these circumstances. Trump’s fuckery is unique. The president (sic) of the United States paid his lawyer to pay a porn star to keep quiet. The odds may be very low that Trump is convicted and if he is, it’ll probably just be a low-level felony with the maximum sentence being four years, but the judge has the option of not including any jail time in the sentence.

So the question may not that be whether Trump goes to prison or not but…was the $130,000 to keep people from knowing Trump cheated on his wife (just four months after she had given birth to Baron, but in Trump’s defense, her body was probably still weird, gross, and icky after giving birth to his fifth child, which I’m sure you understand) with a porn star or that his penis looks like Toad from Mario Kart?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Subpoena Fly

Former vice president (sic) and never-gonna-be-president (yay) Mike Pence got a subpoena from Special Counsel Jack Smith and in typical Mike Pence worm-like behavior, he’s trying to worm out of it.

First off, have you seen a photo of Jack Smith? I’ve never heard the guy talk but just from his photo, he looks like a take-no-bullshit kinda dude. He kinda looks like actor/director Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Cowboys and Aliens, Mandalorian, Elf). I hope it’s true he doesn’t take any bullshit because that’s exactly what Mike Pence and his lawyers are trying to give him.

Smith is investigating Donald Trump’s attempt to steal the election, his role in the Jan 6 white nationalist terrorist attack on the Capitol, and his theft of classified documents. Pence is at least a witness to the attempted theft of the election and coup attempt.

A lot of people praise Mike Pence for doing the right thing on January 6, 2021, and that was certifying the electoral college, which was his duty. Quite frankly, he’s being praised for not breaking the law. For his service, he got Trumpers with nooses after him. But his patriotism stopped there as he is refusing to cooperate with an investigation looking into an attempt to destroy our democracy.

What happened to being a member of the Law and Order Party? What happened to being constitutionalists? What happened to their love of democracy? What happened to Mike Pence’s patriotism?

A true patriot would want to cooperate with an investigation of an attempt to destroy our democracy. Mike Pence is no patriot. He’s a worm. He’s a goon.

Pence’s argument that he can’t cooperate is that he was acting as President of the Senate and is protected under the “speech or debate” clause of the Constitution. The clause he’s placing all his chips in says that “for any Speech or Debate in either House,” senators and representatives, “shall not be questioned in any other Place.”

Well here’s an idea. Why don’t you testify in the chamber of the Senate? Problem solved.

But he’s not actually protected by this because when Donald Trump asked him face to face to deny the certification, they were in the Oval Office and the last time I checked, the Oval Office is in the White House, NOT the United States Capitol building. Pence is a member of the executive branch, not the legislative. He is NOT a senator.

Other than certifying the electoral college, a vice president’s only job in the Senate is to cast tie-breaking votes. They do not engage in debates or speeches in the Senate. They don’t sit on committees.

Pence told reporters, “My fight is on the separation of powers. My fight against the DOJ subpoena, very simply, is on defending the prerogatives I had as president of the Senate to preside over the Joint Session of Congress on January 6.” I’m sure Jack Smith also has a lot of questions about the days leading up to January 6.

Even if Pence’s argument is legitimate, then it only applies for when he was physically in the Senate chamber on January 6. Was he acting as president of the Senate when Trump asked him to break the law? Was he acting as president of the Senate when he was running for his life from a noose-carrying mob chanting, “Hang Mike Pence?”

As Sarah Marshall said in the incredible film “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

This stance takes gall, especially since his argument for refusing to testify before the House committee investigating the insurrection is that he’s a member of the executive branch. He said it would set “a terrible precedent for the Congress to summon a vice president of the United States to speak about deliberations that took place at the White House.”

So basically he can’t testify before the Special Counsel about stuff that happened in Congress, and he can’t testify to Congress about stuff that happened in the White House. I told you he’s a worm.

The biggest problem for Pence and his lawyers when they take this argument to court is that the clause they’re relying on only mentions “senators” and “representatives.” Mike Pence was neither at the time in question. He better hope he gets a sycophantic Trumper judge which he may as he plans to argue this all the way to the Supreme Court.

It would be a lot easier and quicker if he’d cooperate and testify. But the real reason Mike Pence is refusing to testify is that he doesn’t want to piss off the MAGA base while he runs against that base’s cult leader.

Every presidential candidate is going to straddle the line of running against Donald Trump while trying to appeal to his base. I don’t see that working. And that base has already made nooses and chanted, “Hang Mike Pence.” The MAGA base literally tried to murder Mike Pence. Now, the thinks he can win their votes.

Pence is praised for putting the nation before political power on January 6, but now he’s putting political ambition before the country.

I think even the Pence Fly can see the flaws in Pence’s argument.

Music note: I listened to Collective Soul.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trump Subpoena

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday

Creative note: This was drawn in my motel room in West Monroe, Louisiana. Growing up partly in Louisiana, I drew a lot of cartoons there but never any that were political. After 32 years in the business, I finally drew a cartoon in my home state.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Buckets of Subpoenas

Yesterday, the January 6 Committee investigating the attack on the capitol complex to overturn the election and hand the presidency to Donald Trump voted unanimously to subpoena Hair Fuhrer for documents and his testimony. So, where will it go from here?

Robert Mueller gave up getting Trump to sit down and testify and answer questions directly over Russian collusion in the 2016 election. Trump gave written answers and for all we know, he didn’t write those answers. It was a major disappointment.

Now this committee is going to subpoena Trump to testify and to provide documents. But when it comes to documents, we know Trump has a history of lying on their whereabouts. We also know he loves the spotlight while also being a coward.

Trump has testified many times in the past, most recently in a case brought against him by the state of New York. During that deposition, Donald Trump pleaded the 5th over nearly 450 times. So don’t look for any direct answers from Trump if he does testify, though it’ll fun to watch him squirm if he testifies live.

But what happens if he refuses to comply with the subpoena? Will Congress send a referrel to the Department of Justice to prosecute Trump? This committee has done that in the past with mixed results. DOJ already has its hands full investigating those other documents regarding Trump. If Trump refuses to comply with a congressional subpoena, DOJ should charge him. He’s a private citizen after all.

And will Trump want to testify? As I wrote, he loves the spotlight and being on TV. He loves to brag about ratings. This is a guy who’s demanded that his version of events be presented to the committee. Now is his chance. But also keep in mind, Donald Trump is a big fat coward.

Donald Trump “truthed” a link to a Fox News story with the headline Trump ‘loves the idea of testifying’ before Jan. 6 committee: source close to the former president. That’s like me saying, “My friend says I like tacos” when I could tell you directly if I like tacos or not (for the record, I do like tacos…a lot). Trump can’t even be straight and direct on his sham social media site. What makes anyone believe he’ll give direct answers in a testimony?

Then Trump “truthed” 11 hours ago as of this writing, “I will be putting out my response to the Unselect Committee of political Hacks and Thugs tomorrow morning at 8:00. Thank you!” It is now 11:10 EST and he still hasn’t put out his response. In case you’re a Republican, 11:10 a.m. is AFTER 8 a.m. Again, Trump lied.

I predict Trump will not testify and create some bullshit as to his reason why. He’ll also continue to complain that his version of events haven’t been presented. His supporters will continue failing to see the hypocrisy and that both positions cancel each other out.

As for the committee, maybe they should try to lure him in with blondes with buckets.

Music note: I listened to Green Day.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Hardee Times for the MyPillow Guy

Mike Lindell, a former crackhead who now sells shitty pillows and absurd conspiracy theories was served with a subpoena this week and had his cell phone seized by the FBI. How do we know this? Because Mike Lindell told us and displayed a picture of the subpoena on his online TV show, which I just found out is a thing.

Taking into account that we learned of this through Lindell, you’d be justified to believe Pillow Goon is lying again. But, an FBI spokesperson from the Denver office issued a statement that didn’t confirm Lindell was served with a subpoena and had his phone taken away, but it did say, “Without commenting on this specific matter, I can confirm that the FBI was at that location executing a search warrant authorized by a federal judge.”

The statement didn’t just say they were there for curly fries. Why would I make a curly fries joke? Because this happened at a Hardee’s drive-thru. Why do I always confuse Hardee’s with Arby’s despite the fact Hardee’s stole Carl Jr’s yellow star sign. I don’t know. All three are places I never go to.

FBI agents served Lindell with a grand jury subpoena in Mankato, Minnesota. He said agents questioned him about Tina Peters, the Mesa County, Colorado clerk who was indicted in March on charges that she helped an outsider copy sensitive data from the county’s elections systems in May 2021.

The FBI is conducting multiple investigations into alleged security breaches of local elections offices in Colorado, Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, and Thighland. These investigations are separate from their January 6 coup attempt investigation and their stolen documents at Mar-a-Lago investigation. There’s also a state investigation in Georgia over Trump’s attempt to have the state’s Secretary of State flip the election for him and other election fraud shenanigans from goons like Rudy Giuliani.

Lindell said the FBI agents also asked him about an image copied from a Mesa County voting machine that was published on his website, Frank Speech. At first, I thought “Frank Speech” was a person.

Lindell said he wasn’t involved in the copying of Mesa County’s election management system and did not meet Peters until she attended a “cyber symposium” he held in South Dakota in August 2021. Regarding the Colorado election fuckery, he said, “I have no idea what went on then. I have nothing to do with it.”

Lindell actually sent his private jet to bring Peters to his bullshit hater symposium and paid for her lodgings, security, and now lawyers. He probably splurged and super-sized her combo meals too.

Lindell has used his pillow fortune to promote the Big Lie that there was rampant voter fraud in the 2020 election and that Trump is the actual winner. He’s paid for films and conferences on the bullshit. Dominion Voting Machines is suing Lindell for defamation.

Now, Lindell, Trump, and other MAGAts are crying like little beyotches over him having his phone seized and being served with a grand jury subpoena while in a Hardee’s drive-thru.

These fuckers think this is Highlander but instead of churches being the holy ground sanctuary where combat is forbidden, it’s Hardee’s drive-thrus. Is it just Hardee’s or can you also declare sanctuary at Whataburger?

Others are declaring that serving a subpoena to a pillow fucker in a drive-thru is fascism. No, fascism only happens at Burger King. You know that king wasn’t elected and has the job Trump wants…a monarch with access to unlimited hamberders.

Music Note: I didn’t listen to anything today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Rudy Tooty Colludy Subpoodied

CjonesRBG01222022

The January 6 Committee has issued subpoenas for Jenna Ellis, Boris Epshteyn (you can’t have a good Trump controversy without a Boris), Sidney Powell, and Rudy Giuliani. This should be fun.

Jenna Ellis drafted a memo on how then-President (sic) Trump could invalidate the election results by exploiting an obscure law. Sidney Powell worked on election lawsuits, spread wild conspiracy theories about voting machines, China, George Soros, the Clintons, and Hugo Chavez, all while raising money on the Big Lie. And Boris chased down false allegations of voter fraud in Arizona and Nevada and worked with the Trump administration (sic) to delay the certification of Biden’s election victory. But Rudy….oh, Rudy. Sweet, sweet Rudy.

Rudy Giuliani, who some still call “America’s Mayor,” is an international embarrassment. Being a Trump sycophant is bad enough, but to go from America’s Mayor to a ridiculous lying farty Trump poodle with leaky hair that people are laughing at is something totally original.

Rudy Giuliani was an embarrassment making contradictory claims on CNN and Fox News. He eventually made his lies exclusive to Fox News as CNN anchors kept asking him real questions, like, “Did you just admit to something you had just denied?”. Fun stuff.

Remember when Trump claimed he had no knowledge about hush payments to porn star Stormy Daniels who he had raw-dogged in a Las Vegas hotel room after she spanked him with a rolled-up magazine that had his daughter’s photo on it, and then Rudy went on Hannity and told him the president (sic) paid back Cohen after he had “funneled” the money to Stormy Daniels? Remember Hannity’s face when learning this information after previously using his show to declare how there had never been any hush payments? Remember Hannity’s face when he asked, “funneled”?

Remember when Trump said there was no quid pro quo by withholding military aid from Ukraine until they announced they were investigating Joe Biden, and then a tape came out with Giuliani offering Ukraine officials a quid pro quo and that their president could be invited to the United States and have a meeting with Trump if the investigations were announced? Good times.

After the election, Giuliani brought failed lawsuits and hearings to state legislators to overturn the election. He advised Trump to seize voting machines. He spread lies about Dominion Voting Systems, the company that provided the voting machines, who are now suing Giuliani for billions. Yes, billions with a “B”.

Remember when Giuliani scheduled a press conference at the Four Seasons Hotel in Pennsylvania, but fucked up and scheduled it in the parking lot at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, which was next to a sex shop? Remember how he went ahead and held the press conference anyway?

Remember the press conference where Rudy’s hair started leaking black goo?

Remember the legislative hearing when Rudy was farty?

Remember the hearing before the Michigan legislature where he brought a witness he had failed to vet beforehand? Remember how his unvetted witness made wild claims about voter fraud she never witnessed?

Remember all the times Rudy spoke before courts and legislatures despite failing to research what he was talking about?

Remember when Rudy invited what he thought was an underage girl into his private hotel room “for a drink,” but was instead punked by Borat? Great times.

Remember when Rudy called for “trial by combat”? You should remember that because it was at the Trump rally on January 6, 2020, right before Trump’s white nationalist goon squad attacked the United States Capitol in an attempt to overturn a democratically-held election to install Trump as a fascist dictator. Again, good times.

Rudy sucks at using phones. Remember the time he butt-dialed a reporter who got to overhear Rudy ranting about the Bidens being corrupt? Remember when he did it again to the same reporter, laying out a strategy to raise money for his “Investigations,” saying, “The problem is we need some money”?

Remember when Rudy called Senator Tommy Tuberville on January 6 in an attempt to block certification of the election and left a voicemail, except he accidentally called Senator Mike Lee? Remember on the recording when he said about the election certification, “We need you, our Republican friends, to try to just slow it down.”?

Remember that Rudy actually owns a cybersecurity firm but that he once needed an Apple employee to help him unlock his phone.

Remember when Rudy’s two associates, Lev and Igor (you can’t have a good Trump controversy without an Igor) who were helping him conduct “investigations” into Joe and Hunter Biden, were caught funneling Russian money to Republican candidates in the 2018 midterms?

Remember when Rudy had his law license suspended by the state of New York for making “demonstrably false and misleading statements” in courts?

Robert Costello, Rudy’s lawyer, called the subpoena “political theater” and said Giuliani would be covered by executive privilege, should Trump invoke it, as well as attorney-client privilege. But, Donald Trump can’t cite executive privilege because he’s not president (sic) anymore. Also, being an attorney for a criminal doesn’t protect you when you’re also his co-conspirator. Go ask Michael Cohen about that one.

Rudy’s shithead attorney also said, “They’re not going to charge Rudy Giuliani with anything, and they’re also not going to get any information from Rudy Giuliani factually.” Both statements are true. They’re not going to charge Rudy with anything because the January 6 committee can’t charge anyone. They can only refer charges. And, like shithead attorney said, the committee will not get anything “factually” out of Rudy because Rudy will lie his little greasy balls off. All they’re going to get from Rudy Giuliani will be farts and lies and lies and farts.

Remember when Rudy Giuliani was a respectable United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York? Remember when Rudy Giuliani was a respectable mayor of New York City? Remember when Rudy Giuliani had a license to practice law? Remember when Rudy Giuliani was not an international laughingstock?

Music Note: I listened to some Rolling Stones, Stone Temple Pilots, The Verve, and The Verve Pipe (those last two, because they’re right next to each other alphabetically) while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: