Stimulus

Who’s A Good Boy?


cjones03142021

President Joe Biden has brought dogs back into the White House. One of the dogs, Major, is the first rescue dog to occupy the White House. Having a dog shows that a person has empathy, care, and love for something other than himself. It’s why Donald Trump never owned a dog.

Earlier this week, someone spooked Major and he bit that individual. According to reports, Major “nipped” a Secret Service agent. A nip is when it is a bite but skin is not broken.

Major and co-first dog, Champ, were both returned to the Biden home in Delaware while First Lady Jill Biden was traveling. They’ll return to the White House soon enough. The White House is still a new environment and for now, it probably will be better for their mom to be there with them. Major and Champ are on the very short list of who can walk into the Oval Office at any time. And I don’t see any issues with them getting on the furniture after Donald Trump let Kellyanne Conway put her feet on the couch.

These are big dogs. During the transition, Major actually caused Joe Biden to fracture his foot while they were playing together. A grown man in his 70s playing with his dogs is a man you want to be friends with. Since these are large dogs, it’s not surprising there are occasional bumps and bruises. Even small dogs can throw a person down stairs. Dachshunds can be brutal. Don’t get me started on cats which are natural terrorists constantly plotting your impending murder.

It’s too bad Major bit a Secret Service Agent…and not a Republican.

It’s too bad Major didn’t bite Roger Wicker for boasting about the money restaurants will receive from the stimulus, yet not voting for the stimulus.

It’s too bad Major didn’t bite Tom Cotton who went off the rails over inmates receiving $1,400 checks…and not losing his shit over inmates receiving checks from the first two stimulus packages when Trump was president. There are also a few retroactive bites Tom Cotton deserves, like for that time when sent a letter to Iran trying to undermine President Obama’s negotiations over a nuclear agreement.

Maybe Major can bite Tucker Carlson. What for? A lot of things actually but let’s start over Tucker’s comments on women in the military. During one of his stupid shows this week, Tucker criticized the military for having women in it while also praising China for building more ships. He called China’s move “more masculine,” while saying about women, “So we’ve got new hairstyles and maternity flight suits — pregnant women are going to fight our wars. It’s a mockery of the U.S. military.” Tucker Carlson is a mockery of journalism and he deserves a few bites.

There are other people in Washington Major can bite. He can start with Ted Cruz just for being Ted Cruz. And if Major can get that awful taste out of his mouth, perhaps he can go after Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan, Lindsey Graham, Josh Hawley, and Ron Johnson?

Aw, screw it. Go for it, Major. Bite every single Republican in Congress who didn’t vote for the stimulus. Since every single Republican voted against it, you’re gonna need back-up. Is Champ in a biting mood?

What sort of treats and Scooby Snacks do you give a dog for biting Republicans? We might be talking steaks here.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Duckets For Russets


cjones03132021

Yesterday, the House of Representatives voted to pass the $1.9 trillion stimulus package. The Senate had already passed it last week. You’re probably going to get another stimulus check.

Mississippi Senator Roger Wicker, a Republican, tweeted out praise for the $28.6 billion included for “targeted relief” for restaurants.

Wicker tweeted, “Independent restaurant operators have won $28.6 billion worth of targeted relief. This funding will ensure small businesses can survive the pandemic by helping to adapt their operations and keep their employees on the payroll.”

Wow. It sure sounds like Wicker is excited about this money that’ll help restaurants stay afloat. Members of Congress typically boast about their votes and how much they’re doing for their constituents. Wicker really wants small restaurant owners in Mississippi to appreciate him for this stimulus they’re about to receive. But Wicker did leave out one tiny little maybe important detail. It’s a detail that everyone in Mississippi who needs this money should realize and remember when Wicker is up for reelection in four years.

Roger Wicker, Republican, left out the part that he…wait for it…DIDN’T VOTE FOR THE BILL.

Roger Wicker voted no. Roger Wicker voted against small businesses and independent restaurants in Mississippi receiving a stimulus check. He voted against every person in Mississippi and the rest of the nation making less than $80,000 a year from receiving a $1,400 check. With the average income in Mississippi at just a little over $24,000, a lot of Mississippians will be receiving checks. So, Mississippians, when you get your check, remember that BOTH of your Senators (the other being Cindy Hyde-Smith) voted against you receiving it.

In fact, every Republican in Congress voted against the stimulus. Every Republican in the House and every Republican in the Senate voted against it. Even Mitt Romney, who has occasional hot flashes of not being a total butt stick, voted against it. If Republicans had just one more seat in the United States Senate, you would not be receiving a check. None of us would be receiving a check.

Republicans don’t care about you. Republicans care more about saving Mr. Potato Head from becoming a trans potato head than they care about you. They voted against this bill that would help farmers who grow real actual potatoes. By the way, with Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head both being plastic toys, neither of them has wee-wees and hoo-haas. Fortunately, neither do real potatoes because that’d be totally unappetizing.

In the first stimulus, Donald Trump (who many also assume doesn’t come with a wee-wee) made sure his name was printed on the physical checks voters received. His only involvement with that was he didn’t block it. If anything, Nancy Pelosi should have had her name on it. But for dumb Americans, you know, Trump supporters, they were all like, “Praise Trump for this check. Ya, Trump! Will my check be bigger than black people’s checks?”. Now, will they notice they’re receiving checks without one Republican vote? In the note section of these checks, it should say, “No thanks to Republicans.” That was actually my first idea but it would have been less fun to draw.

Washington is extremely partisan right now. It’s so partisan, that not one Republican could reach across the aisle to help Americans during this pandemic. They know this package, the American Rescue Plan, is a success for President Joe Biden. They would rather hurt Americans than give Biden a win. And right now, they’re working in 43 states to change election laws to give Republicans an advantage, so next time Americans need help, they’ll have the votes to say, “Go suck it, America.”

This stimulus is to help people who need help. Republicans are screaming about the cost which is something they only do when a Democrat is in the White House. When they jacked up the deficit to give billionaires and trust-fund babies a tax cut, they didn’t express any concern about the spending. And that action didn’t help people who needed help. Sure, Donald Trump Jr. probably needs help (and a sponsor), but not financially.

Despite voting against this stimulus, you can expect Republicans to try to take credit for it passing. During the 2018 midterms, Republicans literally ran on saving Obamacare. The same goons, where not one voted for it and then made over 50 attempts to repeal it, was telling Americans that if they lost Congress, that people would lose their health coverage. In 2022, you’ll see Republicans campaign on the stimulus. And they will run on it like it was their invention because this stimulus is even popular with Republican voters, coming in at over 60% approval. Fortunately for Republican office holders, Republican voters be stupid.

And in Mississippi, restaurant owners whose businesses were saved by this bill, will turn around and reelect Roger Wicker…the man who voted against their survival. Republican voters are also forgetful unless it’s something to do with Hillary Clinton.

In 2024, when Wicker is campaigning in his state and is visiting all those catfish and BBQ restaurants, the owners should tell him to get lost. He didn’t help them. What they should do is take a Mr. Potato Head to Mr. Wicker and see if he’s anatomically correct. Am I being too subtle?

Anyway, enjoy your stimulus…no thanks to Republicans.

Update: I knew this and forgot it. Roger Wicker added the amendment to the bill that gave the stimulus to restaurants (with Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema) and still voted against it. Thanks, Mike Marturello, for that note.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Minimum Protest


CNN02282021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Food Bank Billionaires


cjones01022021

The quote in the cartoon is direct from the tortoise’s mouth.

If you make $70,000 a year or less, you’re getting a $600 check from the government. This is a stimulus to help you get through the pandemic. Does $600 help? Sure…a little. If you’re like me, that’s not even a month’s rent. If you’re a single mom with two kids, that might be your month’s food budget. Nobody’s going to refuse $600, but it’s a joke to think that’ll solve anyone’s financial woes. If you’re months behind on rent and facing eviction, $600 might get your landlord to leave you alone…for a day. He’ll be back tomorrow.

Americans need real help and what we have been hoping for is a $2,000 stimulus check. That’s not going to solve everything either, but 2,000 is more than 600. Even Donald Trump is pushing Congress to increase the stimulus to 2,000. Now it would have helped even more if he had done this while the relief package was being negotiated, or if he had fought for it half as hard as he did for tax cuts for billionaires and corporations and ending the inheritance tax for trust-fund babies named Trump.

Donald Trump fought a lot harder to put more money into his own pocket than he fought to put money into yours. Republicans only care about increasing the deficit when money is proposed to help people who actually need it. But when it comes to tax cuts for yacht-riding, Dijon-eating billionaire assholes with private helicopters and golf-club memberships, no problem.

Now, Mitch McConnell has stated there’s “no realistic path” for the senate to pass a stand-alone bill on providing relief checks of $2,000.

What does stand-alone mean? That means there’s nothing else in the bill. All that’s in the bill is raising your check to $2,000. This way, no senator can say they were for the raise but against other bullshit in the bill, like making our national anthem “Who Let The Dogs Out.”

That’s what McConnell wants to do. No, not attach a rider to the bill changing our national anthem to “Who Let The Dogs Out,” or “Macarena,” or “MMMBop,” or James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” (I can do this all day). But he does want to “poison” the bill by putting shit in there Democrats can’t vote for. It’s a trick and it’s one Republican voters can’t catch even with it sitting right in front of them.

McConnell wants to attach “investigating the integrity of the 2020 election” and revoking legal protections for social media platforms to the bill. You’ve probably already heard “integrity” as part of the GOP talking point for the lie and conspiracy theory of mass voter fraud. Republicans want to waste a lot of time and money (but the deficit!) investigating something that doesn’t exist, mostly in order to delegitimize Joe Biden’s presidency. The other issue, revoking legal protections for social media platforms, is an issue that we shouldn’t slap into a bill because Donald Trump gets his feelings hurt on the internet.

Republicans do NOT want “integrity” in our elections and they do NOT care about facts on social media. They don’t want Twitter to be protected when a third party calls Donald Trump “Mr. Orange Shitgibbon,” or “Hair Fuehrer,” or “Orange Julius,” or “Tiny McGrope-A-Lot,” (I can do this all day). Keep in mind, this is the same crowd that’s facing libel lawsuits for claiming Dominion changed votes. As for “integrity,” these are the same fuckers who want to disenfranchise Americans’ Constitutionally-protected voting rights and overthrow an election. There’s not much “integrity” in coup attempts. So to everyone using the word “integrity” with your “voter fraud” claims, screw you, you lying MAGAt shitweasel asshats.

And for McConnell to say there’s no “realistic” path to a stand-alone bill giving us $2,000, he’s lying.

Mitch McConnell is the Senate Majority Leader. It’s up to him and him alone as to what is and isn’t voted on. He can allow a stand-alone bill. He can put it up for a vote today. But he doesn’t have the balls to put it on the floor and finding out which senators are truly for it and which ones aren’t…like the two Republicans in Georgia facing a runoff.

Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue both say they’re for the stimulus increase, but they’re not talking about it a lot. What they should both do is demand McConnell put a stand-alone bill on the floor. I mean, that’s what they’d do if they were really for it, right? Why doesn’t Donald Trump make the same demand?

But if you live in Georgia and you really want $2,000 to help you out, then don’t vote for Loeffler and Perdue. Pretty simple, isn’t it?

And election integrity? What we need is integrity in the United States Senate and from the Senate Majority Leader.

McConnell also said, “The Senate is not going to be bullied into rushing out more borrowed money into the hands of Democrats’ rich friends who don’t need the help.” Have you seen the lines at food banks across the country? Those are NOT Democrats’ rich friends who don’t need help.

When it comes to rich friends who don’t need help, McConnell and Trump are all about borrowing money to give it to them. They gave huge tax cuts to billionaires like Trump and to millionaires like McConnell. They gave permanent tax cuts to corporations. Donald Trump is a corporation. Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell are not at food banks and I seriously doubt they know anyone who needs help putting food on their table.

Part of the argument for tax cuts for the rich was that it would skyrocket the economy. That was four years ago and it didn’t. But you’ll be glad to know that during this pandemic, the rich have gotten richer.

So when you get that $600 relief check, remember…it could have been $2,000 but Mitch McConnell stopped it. And all the other Republicans in the Senate helped prevent you from receiving more help by not forcing McConnell to help you.

This is what Republicans do. They help the rich and screw the poor and middle-class. You can bank on that.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Update on book: They’re here but…I forgot to order envelopes. Shit. Envelopes are on the way. I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have assumed I had enough on hand. I swear that about 30 book envelopes disappeared out of my apartment.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Poker Face


cjones12292020

When Congress sent a $900 billion stimulus bill to the White House, Donald Trump called it a “disgrace” and wailed that it contained too much pork and not enough money for individual taxpayers. He was upset the checks for Americans would only be $600 and not $2,000. This “disgrace” was a bill he had approved.

Sure, Trump wasn’t personally involved in the negotiations between the House, Senate, and White House, but his team was. They were representing him. The stamp of approval they put on the bill before it was voted on was Trump’s stamp (which is similar to a tramp stamp). Granted, he was never going to actually read the bill, but he was informed of the specifics. He must not have paid attention because a lot of the stuff he griped about wasn’t even in that bill, but instead, the general spending bill.

He spent a week indicating he would not sign it. There was concern people wouldn’t get the help they need and that the government would shut down. The House and Senate would have to scramble to override Trump which would delay helping Americans. Congress initially had the votes to override a veto by a chaos president (sic), but there was legitimate concern that Republican sycophants would change their yes votes to no votes out of fear of being mean-tweeted. And while Democrats are all in favor of giving each of us $2,000, Republicans are not. By nature, Republicans are only in favor of giving money to billionaire assholes, not to me and you.

Then on Sunday night, late into the evening, after a week of posturing and puffing up his chest, and playing golf, and more golf, and more golf, and more fucking golf, Donald Trump signed the stimulus bill and the general spending bill. A government shutdown was averted but unemployment benefits did run out.

Donald Trump issued a statement that he would be sending a “redlined” version of the bill, which is a version that includes things he wants taken out. His cult believes those things will be taken out because for some reason, Trump has more power alone than Congress or previous presidents. No, the bill is now law the way it is.

The MAGAts are still celebrating this as a Trump win, even though the delay has hurt Americans and once again, the self-described best negotiator didn’t get a thing he asked for. This is what happens when you install an idiot into the presidency.

Donald Trump should have signed the bill the day he received it and before he left for Florida to have a golfing Christmas. I hope an alligator eats his balls.

This man is so selfish. He couldn’t just sign the bill and help people. He had to be a jerk and make it all about himself. We are going to be so much better off without Donald Trump in the White House. Usually, when he’s on the golf course, he’s not breaking the nation apart. This time, he played golf to the detriment of the nation.

When George W. Bush was told of the attack on 9/11, he was reading “My Pet Goat” to schoolchildren in Florida. After being told that airplanes were flying into buildings, he continued to read “My Pet Goat” for several more minutes. But at least he eventually stopped reading about that goat to go back to work and do his job as president. Illiterate Donald Trump wouldn’t have been able to read the book and wouldn’t have paid any attention unless there were more pictures of him in the book than of the goat. Donald Trump would have made Americans wait until his interests were served first. Donald Trump spent a week on a golf course allowing unemployment benefits to expire. Donald Trump is not the GOAT.

As for Trump’s negotiating on the bill, he didn’t negotiate while it was being written. He sat on his orange ass fixated on his election loss and continued to spread debunked conspiracy theories. After it was written and sent to his desk, then he made demands. After a week, he signs the thing with demands. But, he’s a lame-duck president (sic). He has no power to force Congress to make changes to a bill that…wait for it…he has already signed. He has less than a month left in office which leaves no incentive for Congress to make changes a lame-duck demands.

When I was a teenager, I worked in a grocery store and telling me to mop seemed to be my boss’ favorite thing to do. After he quit, he walked into the store one day and told me I should mop the produce section. My first thought was, “Why is he here?” and my second was, “Screw that guy.” He had no more power and 16-year-old me was about to beat a man to death with a mop handle. Quite frankly, after living in fear for four years of mean tweets, Congressional Republicans should beat Trump with a mop handle.

If we charged people to beat Trump with a mop handle, we could pay off this budget, the relief bill, the national debt, restore our infrastructure, and even get a couple more useless aircraft carriers. I’d just hate to be at the end of that line…because I know I’d wait for my turn.

If Donald Trump really wanted that $2,000 for every American, he should have said something while the bill was being drafted. He would have had a lot of support from Democrats and the president-elect. The majority of Americans would have been behind it. For once, Americans and all those treasonous democracy-hating MAGAt bastards would have been on the same side of an issue. Everybody wants $2,000. Even the Republicans who would vote against you getting $2,000 will personally take $2,000.

We finish this segment of Trump chaos by asking…how much more chaos can he inflict over the next four weeks? Wanna make a bet? If you do make a bet, don’t be like Trump. When you make a poker face, make sure you’re playing poker.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist (me) and feel good about yourself, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Scrooge McTrump


cjones12252020

You can’t pretend you’re upset over supposed corruption from the Biden family while supporting Donald Trump’s pardon of corrupt Republican congressmen. These three congressmen were not merely accused. They were convicted. They were Duncan Hunter, Christopher Collins, and Steve Stockman. Hunter had used hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign funds to pay for family vacations and theater tickets, and even to facilitate extramarital affairs (like pay for hotel rooms for boinking women who were not his wife). Collins used his congressional seat for insider trading. Stockman stole hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations that were meant for charity and voter education. Stockman’s attorney is Sidney Powell, the conspiracy lawyer who also represents pardoned goon Michael Flynn (who wants a military coup), and who Trump wants to appoint as a special prosecutor in his fictional election-fraud investigation. Hunter and Collins were two of the first in Congress to endorse Trump. All three men are convicts.

Extramarital affairs? Stealing from charity? Using your elected position to make money? These are all behaviors Donald Trump is very familiar with.

You can’t claim Donald Trump is draining the swamp when he’s pardoning the swamp. Donald Trump pardoned two people who were convicted of crimes as part of the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election. Trump pardoned George Papadopoulos, who claimed was just a “coffee boy” on his campaign, and Alex van der Zwaan. Both men worked on the 2016 Trump Campaign and both lied to Robert Mueller during his investigation of Russian election meddling.

You can’t pretend Donald Trump is the law-and-order president when he pardons murderers. Donald Trump pardoned four military contractors convicted of killing 14 unarmed Iraqi civilians in Baghdad in 2007. Among those civilians were children. The four men worked for worked the Blackwater Worldwide security company which is owned by Eric Prince, the brother of the worst Secretary of Education this nation has ever had, Betsy DeVos.

Say, don’t we have an extradition treaty with Iraq?

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff said, “If you lie to cover up for the President, you get a pardon. If you are a corrupt politician who endorsed Trump, you get a pardon. If you murder civilians while at war, you get a pardon.”

Here is a fun fact: 88 percent of Trump’s pardons have been for his goons, people associated with him. He’s either rewarding people for their loyalty, for their silence, or both.

Donald Trump also pardoned a state Republican legislator and two Border Patrol agents who shot and killed a suspected drug smuggler. Being that the guy shot was a suspected drug smuggler, an immigrants, and brown, it plays to his racist base.

You can’t complain about any corruption if you support Donald Trump, but we’ve been trying to tell you that for four years.

And last night, just three days before Christmas after he pardoned murderers and goons, he threatened to veto the stimulus bill. Scrooge was on a roll.

Donald Trump claims there’s too much pork in the bill, which he hasn’t read, and that there’s not enough for Americans hurt by the pandemic. He wants the $600 checks for Americans to be bumped up to $2,000. Hey, great idea. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi loves it. I love it. But why didn’t he say something while the bill was being negotiated? I understand he’s been too busy plotting his coup attempt, playing golf, and pardoning murderers…but if he was really interested in helping American families, he would have been president during the negotiations. Donald Trump should have been spending the past month and a half since the election doing the job of president instead of only doing for himself.

Whether Trump vetoes this bill or not, he’s playing politics with money Americans desperately need. We haven’t seen food lines this long since the Great Depression. Donald Trump wants to take this crisis and make it all about him. Unless Trump signs the bill, this action will delay the money people need. This is a great way for Donald Trump to prevent helping people while claiming he wants to help people. Ebenezer Scrooge couldn’t have planned this better.

Donald Trump, the man whose first order of business as president (sic) was to lie about crowd sizes and give himself a tax cut is pretending he cares about Americans.

The thing is, you can’t say you are a constitutionalist or care about American democracy if you support Donald Trump.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

OK Moscow


cjones12212020

For the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing cartoons from my conservative MAGAt colleagues blaming Nancy Pelosi for there not being a covid stimulus relief bill yet. They claim she played politics and wouldn’t allow one until after the election, all in order to hurt Donald Trump. This must be what they’re talking about on Fox News because I haven’t seen this from the genuine news outlets. These same MAGAt goons didn’t care that Trump played politics with the last relief bill by having his name stamped on stimulus checks.

After the Cares Act was passed last March, giving $2.2 trillion intended to help Americans hurt by the coronavirus pandemic, we knew it wasn’t enough. Though something is better than nothing, $1,200 only goes so far when you’re out of work. Millions of small businesses didn’t receive any relief with many going bankrupt. Even some businesses that did receive help eventually had to go bankrupt. In my neighborhood alone, I lost Duck Donuts, Paisano’s, Country Cookin’, and a pet supply store. But some Trump-owned businesses and Jared Kusher-owned businesses received stimulus checks, and reportedly, some mega churches received checks they used to purchase new private jets.

So conservatives are blaming Nancy Pelosi for there not being a second stimulus. But here’s a question for them: How many stimulus bills has the Republican Senate passed? Answer: Zero.

Why is Nancy Pelosi the bad guy when Mitch McConnell hasn’t passed anything? Not only has Mitch’s Senate not passed anything, he won’t even allow a vote. Why is Nancy Pelosi the bad guy when she’s allowed two votes on two additional stimulus bills…that passed only to die on Mitch’s desk?

House Democrats passed a $1.2 trillion relief package last May and a $2.2 trillion one last October. In case you’re a Republican, May and October both occur before November…when we had an election that Joe Biden won fairly…and when Trump lost.

And the one package that did go out included checks with Donald Trump’s name on them, which should be ANOTHER Hatch Act violation. That really swayed stupid voters who were still on the fence. The only thing Donald Trump should have his name on is failure, bankruptcies, divorces, and the virus.

Right now, the House and Senate are haggling over a $900 billion relief bill. According to reports, they’re slashing relief to states and cities mostly affected by the pandemic. Democrats initially sought $1 trillion specifically for states and cities. But you know how Republicans are…cities are liberal.

Rand Paul says no money should go to any cities or states that enacted restrictions to fight the virus. So basically, all relief money should go to Florida.

Senator Ron Johnson, who is holding hearings on fictional election fraud and still hasn’t recognized that Joe Biden is the next president blocked a vote on $1,200 stimulus checks saying, “We are mortgaging our children’s future. I think we need to be very careful about mortgaging it further when we aren’t doing it in a targeted fashion.” So he didn’t have any concerns about “mortgaging our children’s future” when he allowed permanent tax cuts to corporations and Donald Trump, but he cares about spending now? Oh, that means he does recognize Joe Biden will be the next president. Republicans only care about deficits and spending when they don’t control the White House.

Republican senator Pat Toomey is pushing for a provision that will limit the Federal Reserve’s emergency lending authority, a move designed to hurt the incoming Biden administration. And when they can’t lend and shit goes bad, Republicans can blame Biden for not helping anyone.

This new bill probably won’t be voted on in the House until Sunday afternoon. Republicans are still working on ways to remove help for the poor and include more gifts for rich billionaire assholes, like Donald Trump and Joel Osteen (who received $4.4 million in PPP loans), The package is expected to include money for vaccine distribution (which Trump is messing up) and schools (which Republicans will make fun of you for attending, especially if you get a doctorate), jobless benefits of $300 per week (which is a lot less than before), roughly $330 billion for small business loans (which will probably go to Trump companies and mega churches), and a new round of stimulus checks, which could be set at around $600 per individual under a certain income threshold. Last time, those checks were $1,200. In case you’re a Republican, 600 is less than 1,200.

They’re also bickering over an eviction moratorium…at Christmas. Republicans are evil. Hey, you may be on the sidewalk at Christmas, but you can at least say,”Merry Christmas.”

In addition to the relief package, Congress has to pass the yearly funding bill. On Friday, they passed a two-day extension to keep the government open, which 60 House Republicans voted against. 60 Republicans, who each probably support a Trump coup, voted for a government shutdown…at Christmas.

Republicans are evil.

Maybe we do need Vladimir Putin to tell Moscow Mitch it’s OK to pass a relief package. It’s not like he’s listening to us.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

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Name Shame


cjones04202020

The likelihood of Donald Trump not having anything to do with his name being on the stimulus checks is about as likely as him not being responsible for naming Trump Tower, the Trump jet, the Trump helicopter, the Trump yacht, Trump hotels, Trump resorts, and Donald Trump Jr. If it’s stupid, it has his name on it.

The man is a narcissistic baby who’s too much of a coward to be honest over his blatant self-promotion in the time of a crisis. That is, blatant self-promotion on government resources.

Yesterday, during his daily LookAtMe-LookAtMe-LookAtMe party, he was asked about his name being placed in the memo line of the stimulus checks. How’d the orange shitweasel play it off? Like a coward.

Trump said, “I don’t know too much about it. But I understand my name is there. I don’t know where they’re going, how they’re going. I do understand it’s not delaying anything, and I’m satisfied with that. I don’t imagine it’s a big deal. I’m sure people will be very happy to get a big, fat, beautiful check and my name is on it.”

With Trump, everything is big, beautiful, strong, powerful, best ever…and a lie. And the reason he doesn’t know “where they’re going” or “how they’re going” is because he doesn’t care about that part. He only cares about what it can do for him.

What kind of egocentric, narcissistic, self-centered, asshole puts his name on relief checks during a crisis where people are dying? According to Trump, not him. But it was him. In fact, according to sources, he held meetings and strategy sessions over it.

This is the guy that surrounds himself with sycophants every time he signs a document, then holds it up to show off his giant signature made with a Sharpie. He’s like a baby proud he used the potty all by himself for the first time.

It’s a long-standing practice that checks from the Internal Revenue Service feature a signature by a civil servant. The president can’t sign the checks. So, what Trump and Treasury Secretary Baby Fishmouth Steve Mnuchin concocted was to put “Donald J. Trump” in the memo line.

This is just like his fucking charity that was a scam. Donald Trump didn’t put his own money into the Trump Foundation. But celebrities and other billionaires did. So, when Donald Trump would actually contribute money to a charity from the foundation, instead of his usual practice of spending it on himself to buy gifts and pay off fines for his golf clubs and bribe Republicans not to sue him, he would take credit for the charitable contribution. He’d boast about how much he gave to a charity and what a wonderful asshole he was. The truth is, he was taking credit for contributing to a cause with other peoples’ money. This is the same thing.

In this case, Donald Trump is taking credit for giving you money that belongs to you.

This isn’t Donald Trump’s money. In fact, it’s not even something he should get the credit for. The $2 trillion “Economic Impact Payment” that’s going out to millions of Americans had to pass both houses of Congress. If anyone should have their name on the checks, it should be Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell.

But what would be best if there weren’t any politicians name on a government check. Donald Trump is already using government resources to campaign for his reelection. Why? Because he’s a conman.

Earlier this week, he aired a propaganda video at his daily press conference that was boasting about all he did in combating the pandemic while leaving out the entire month of February. Now, he’s using payments from the IRS to taxpayers to campaign for himself.

Here’s the other thing about this scam: It may delay when the physical checks go out. Why? Because it wasn’t announced until Monday to just five senior IRS officials. In addition to having the task of quickly disbursing billions of dollars to taxpayers in a crisis, the IRS must change the computer code to add Trump’s name before the Bureau of the Fiscal Service can print the checks. What a fucking asshole.

With Trump, it’s me, me, me. And his sycophants support it. We’ve had three years of people pretending Donald Trump isn’t an idiot or a narcissist. And every time his cult defends behavior like this or pretends it’s normal, they come off looking more ridiculous and pathetic. The real irony here is that the people who complain about socialism and welfare will now have a socialistic welfare check with Donald Trump’s fucking name on it.

Senator Chuck Grassley said it was “nothing out of the ordinary,” except, it’s never been done before. He also said the expense was “negligible.” That means, doing this cost us even more money. I doubt Grassley would have been so kind if Obama had put his name on checks to voters. I’m pretty sure the entire Republican Party would have stormed the White House pitchforks, torches, and rope for lynching. They already had the rope.

If this selfish scam by Donald Trump even has the slightest chance of delaying these checks, he should have declined doing it. But that’s ignoring he never should have brought it up in the first place. Even speculating or asking was a dick move.

Pelosi said, “Delaying direct payments to vulnerable families just to print his name on the check is another shameful example of President Trump’s catastrophic failure to treat this crisis with the urgency it demands.” She’s right. Trump is putting more focus on himself than helping Americans through this pandemic. Once again, it’s all about Trump, Trump, Trump.

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer said it was the “height of insecurity” and, “In the midst of this crisis, President Trump is doing what he always tends to do: make it all about Trump.”

Representative Aryanna Pressley, who is one of the women Donald Trump referred to with his “Send them back” comment, said it was “a cruel political stunt from a petulant man who’s failing our families.” Ah yes. I haven’t used “petulant” in a while to describe Trump. Thank you, Ms. Pressley.

Keep in mind, his name on the checks is not the signature a check requires. His name will be on the memo line. The memo line isn’t important. It’s rare that people, when they actually do write a check, write anything in the memo line. So if you’re one of the Americans receiving an actual physical check instead of direct deposit, you can have a little fun. You can make an addition to the memo line next to Trump’s signature. Go crazy. Be creative. Be clever. The IRS will have the ability to see the deposited checks eventually, and maybe seeing what you added to the memo will brighten some civil servant’s day.

I’m one of those who will receive a physical check. I haven’t received a refund in a very long time so the IRS doesn’t have my direct deposit information that I’m aware of. I’m also a little hesitant about giving Donald Trump my social security and bank routing and account numbers. So, when I get my check (I think I’m getting one), “Donald J. Trump” will be in the memo line.

Guess what’s going to be in the memo line when I make my deposit.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Cashing Thank-Yous


cjones04032020

It’s important that we thank people but it’s not important that you get thanked. Do you understand this? It’s like this: It’s more important to give than it is to receive. Got it? Even my Republican readers? Probably not, but here we go.

Being thanked and appreciated is important to all of us, but it’s really important to Donald Trump. He’s like the six-year-old that only invites people to his birthday so he can rub it in their faces, forgetting that everybody has birthdays. At his party, he has to be the one to pop the pinata (metaphorically here as he wouldn’t have anything Mexican at a party). He has to have the most cake (not metaphorical).  Donald Trump craves adoration and recognition to the point that a psychiatrist would leap out a window. It’s why he hates The New York Times so much. He wants to be recognized by elites and sophisticated people as one of them, but he’s stupid as fuck all.

The other thing is, Donald Trump wants to be rewarded, thanked, and given recognition for shit he didn’t do. It’s like the economy. Trump supporters give him credit and thank him for fixing a “broken system” and a “mess” he inherited. Never mind the fact that Obama pulled us out of a recession that the last Republican president created. Never mind the fact Obama created more jobs in his last three years than Donald Trump did in his first. Never mind the facts we’re headed for a recession now, no president has ever had over 3 million people file for unemployment in one week like Donald Trump just accomplished, or that it’ll be another Democrat pulling us out of another Republican recession. Fact. Fact. Fuckity Fact. Fact.

Trust me on this. Donald Trump isn’t capable of bending over and pulling up his own socks less enough pulling us out of a recession.

And Trump’s supporters are totally gaslighted. One of the fucknuts commented on my video yesterday, literally thanking Donald Trump, for the FDA approving the use of a malaria drug to combat covid19. That is cult worship. Never mind the fact that the last time Donald Trump mentioned a drug with “chloride” in the title, one of his stupid followers died ingesting a chloride fish tank cleaner and his wife is in critical condition. That’s some Jim Jones shit there. Yeah, thank Donald Trump for that, dingus.

Now, it’s come up that Donald Trump wants his signature on the checks being disbursed as part of the $2 trillion stimulus package. What do you want to bet when the deficit is still huge after he leaves office, that Republicans refuse to acknowledge his signature signed off on that?

Here’s a fact Trump supporters and Republican shitweasels don’t know because it’s a fact: The president, even when that president is Donald Trump (sic), doesn’t allocate spending. At least, he’s not supposed to (though he’s fighting in the Supreme Court to change that).  Congress allocates spending. Nancy Pelosi has more control over what money goes where than Donald Trump. If anyone’s name should be on the check, it’s Pelosi’s or even, ugh…Mitch McConnell’s signatures.

But, Donald Trump wants his signature on the check. Why? Because it’s a great campaign tool. If you’re in the cult now, wait until you literally get a check with Donald Trump’s signature on it (but then again, they may not cash it because they’ll want to frame his signature). And just like money from the Trump Foundation that actually went to legitimate charities (when it wasn’t used to pay off legal fines, purchase Trump portraits of himself, or bribe ditzy blonde Florida Republicans), it’s a check bearing Trump’s signature that isn’t from his own money.

We are getting a check from our own money with his signature on it. And we’re supposed to thank him?

Donald Trump is using taxpayer money, increasing our debt, as a campaign tool. Will it happen? Yes. He’s already done it with the Center for Disease Control guidelines that went out last week. His name is on the envelope and presents it as “President (sic) Trump’s Coronavirus Guidelines For America.” Never mind the fact that “President” (sic) Trump isn’t following those guidelines for himself.

How does one even have the gall and lack of shame to broach the subject of putting his signature on the check? Does it start with, “So…what signature will be on those checks?” I doubt it. I’m sure it’s something else Donald Trump demanded, like at every meal when he has two scoops of ice cream and everyone else has one.

What’s more disgusting about this than our money going to help promote his orange stupid ass, and more disgusting than his cult will thank him for sending them a check, and even more disgusting that these are the same fucks who scream about Bernie promising “free stuff” turning us into a socialist nation like Venezuela, is the fact that Donald Trump is the last person who should be thanked for anything accomplished against the coronavirus. That’s like thanking Herbert Hoover for pulling us out of the Great Recession (why not? He was a Republican).

This is a man who failed to prepare for it and instead, denied and downplayed it. He even called it a conspiracy and hoax being used against him by his enemies. Now, he says he always knew it was a pandemic (go watch my video).

Donald Trump wants a thank you…for a job he didn’t do. In fact, he wants to be thanked for failing. But thanking Donald Trump for his response to the coronavirus…

…That’s a check Donald Trump’s ass can’t cash.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Giddy Up Socialism


cjones04012020

When I did a cartoon last week on Republicans and MAGAts now loving socialism, I asked the question, “How will they defend it?”

There are a lot of Republicans, libertarians, and Trump supporters who are mouthing that they’re not happy with the $2 trillion stimulus to float the economy through the coronavirus pandemic. I’m sure there are others who are unhappy with Donald Trump, after great pressure from the nation’s governors, activating the Defense Production Act and forcing General Motors to make ventilators, which I’m sure will be arriving in hospitals by December (Right now, GM is asking: How do we make ventilators? Also, What’s a ventilator?)

I commend those conservatives for at least sounding consistent because when I say they’re “mouthing” their disapproval with the stimulus, I mean that’s all they’re going to do. Because guess what they’re going to do when they get those checks?

If the checks go straight into their banks through direct deposit, they’ll probably argue that it’s a hassle to return it. If checks arrive in the mail, they’ll cash them. What will they purchase? Probably guns and beer.

I quickly discovered the answer to the question I asked last week. How will conservatives defend Republican socialism? I’ve heard them argue that it’s not socialism when it helps people who work for a living. I’ve heard it’s not socialism because it’s helping “real Americans” and “Patriots.” I’ve heard it can’t be socialism if Donald Trump supports it. And I’ve heard, it’s not socialism because we’re in a national emergency. It’s a crisis.

But the socialism Bernie Sanders proposes, democratic socialism, is designed to help people in emergencies. It’s an emergency when you don’t have healthcare. It’s an emergency if you can’t pay your rent because your wage is too low. It’s an emergency that corporations are given huge tax breaks and don’t use it to invest in the economy. It’s an emergency when you can’t feed your kids. It’s an emergency when you can’t afford heat. It’s an emergency when you’re forced to pay ridiculous interest rates to get an education.

Donald Trump has said more than once that “America will never be a socialist country.” MAGAts love to compare Bernie’s socialism to Venezuela. Now, they’re watching Donald Trump nationalize an American corporation. Now, they’re all going to be cashing checks. from the government for work they didn’t do. America has always been a socialist country. They always argue against “free stuff,” but they’re the same fuckers who voted for a guy who promised a free wall.

How will Donald Trump run for reelection without complaining about socialism? Donald Trump is socialism.

I know the answer. They’ll say it’s not socialism when it helps white people.

Giddy up.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.