SNL

A Nobel Meltdown

cjones02242019

When Donald Trump boasted about Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe sending him a copy of a five-page letter nominating him for a Nobel Peace Prize, my first thought was; five pages explaining why Donald Trump deserves a prize for peace? It takes a lot of bullshit to fill five pages.

There are several things to take from this. First off, the Trump administration asked Abe to nominate Trump, which would totally devalue the award if Trump…HAHAHAHA…was to actually win it. Why would Abe do this? Because he’s appealing to Trump’s vanity in exchange for favorable treatment in trade negotiations and…nobody was supposed to find out for fifty years. The Nobel Committee has a rule that nominations are sealed for half a century (if you’re a Republican, that’s half of 100). The public wasn’t supposed to find out until Trump and Abe were long gone. Unfortunately for Abe, Trump has a huge, loud, gigantic of epic proportions pie hole.

Now, because of his big mouth and vanity, Trump has violated the process for the Nobel Peace Prize and he’s betrayed Abe’s trust. In addition, Shinzo is coming off as a Trump lickspittle in his home country. Trump toadies are not respected. Case in point, Mike Pence.

Nobody, well, no rational person wants to be seen as a suck-up for an international dumbass.

Trump exhibits his stupidity on a daily basis, most recently when he accused Saturday Night live of collusion because Alec Baldwin did another impression of him. Who is Saturday Night Live colluding with? Does Trump think the “Deep State” are writing their jokes?

Trump also asked, “why do Networks get away with these total Republican hit jobs without retribution?” I don’t know why he capitalized “networks,” but what he did here was suggest that there be retribution. He also said, “Very unfair and should be looked into.” How exactly should it be looked into? Are we to do away with the First Amendment? As we have already learned, Trump isn’t a fan of the Constitution and he doesn’t know anything. Earlier today, he demonstrated he doesn’t know the difference between cities and states.

I think the Nobel Committee should award the Peace Prize to Alec Baldwin just for the epic meltdown we’ll get to witness from Trump. I don’t think even SNL could write a skit that would be more entertaining.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Not His Favorite Baldwin

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I think it’s safe to say that Alec Baldwin is not Trump’s favorite Baldwin brother. It’s probably Stephen who’s a right-wing evangelical and a conservative nut job. Was that redundant? He’s also the star of the much-acclaimed film Sharks In Venice. How he didn’t snag an Oscar for that performance is a true injustice of the movie award voting system. It was probably rigged.

If you had not seen Alex Baldwin’s portrayal of Trump on SNL but read Trump’s tweet saying “it stinks” then you’d get the impression that Baldwin is killing it. He is.

Today president Obama told Donald Trump to stop whining. Trump has gone beyond whining and into insanity over the past few days.

He’s complained that the election is going to be rigged. It’ll be rigged by bankers, “global business elite,” The media, and Saturday Night Live. He’s also accused Carlos Slim, a Mexican billionaire, of guiding The New York Times coverage of his sexual assaults.  Never mind the fact that voter fraud doesn’t really exist. Let me write that again. It doesn’t exist.

When Trump loses this election he is going to lose it fair and square. The only disadvantage he has is that he’s an idiot. He’s surrounded himself with idiots. A lot of people say they don’t want to besmirch Trump supporters, but I will. His supporters and entire base is composed of idiots. Did you hear me? You’re all idiots. Move along now.

Trump supporters (idiots) are towing the “rigged” election line despite lack of any evidence. Even Mike Pence (another idiot) was complaining about the unfair media coverage and how it’s so negative of Trump. I’m sorry, Governor Pence, but when your running mate only says negative things and the press reports it, it’s not their fault the coverage is negative. It’s like the media is biased against Trump for reporting what he actually says. Hours, and often times minutes, his supporters (again, in case you forgot, idiots) are on the air explaining what he really meant.

He has also called for drug tests before the next debate. Seriously. I mentioned this in my last blog and mentioned how bizarre it is that Snorty McSnorterson is the one who wants drug tests. I didn’t believe Trump has a cocaine habit. I thought it was irresponsible for Howard Dean to accuse him of it but now…looking at his history of projecting…yeah he might be dancing with a white rabbit. If the man’s erratic behavior is any indication he’s probably responsible for three fourths of Bolivia’s economy.

Trump also said he walked past Clinton at the debate and he “wasn’t impressed.” Yes it’s a very important quality in a female presidential candidate that she serves fries with that shake. Trump’s comment backs up both of my earlier theories. He’s projecting and he’s totally riding a white horse to the next debate.

In regards to Alec Baldwin, the talented Baldwin (not that idiot shark-movie-making Baldwin), Trump is not amused. He tweeted that SNL isn’t funny anymore while also voicing his displeasure with Baldwin’s orange impression (For the record, Kate McKinnon is also nailing it with her impression of Hillary Clinton). Dude, people have been saying SNL isn’t funny anymore since 1980. Trump didn’t mind SNL’s brand of comedy when he hosted the show last year. He even tweeted how much he thinks of the show. It’s kinda like his hate for the media while loving the fact they’ve given him billions in free campaign coverage.

Hillary Clinton is going to win this election, fairly, and with a huge electoral landslide. Despite that she will not have a mandate because the person she’s going to defeat is a lying, narcissistic, racist, xenophobic, insane bully. And Trump will still be here after the election. He’ll be whining about the media, accusing the election of being rigged, try to start an armed insurgency (as long as he and his children aren’t fighting), all while trying to start his brand new TV network.

The crazy Trump train will keep chugging after November. Toot! Toot!

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The Last Centerfold

cjones10162015

There’s very few reasons to actually read Playboy. You might want to read the short stories, cartoons, or interviews. The magazine was truly great in those areas.

Another reason to read Playboy is if you’re a 15-year-old boy in 1981, before the internet, and you’ve yet to touch a real live girl.

I really wasn’t interested in drawing a cartoon about Playboy discontinuing their monthly centerfold. I don’t care. Playboy has good features in their magazines which the naked photoshopped ladies brought readers to. But seriously, there’s like three naked ladies in each issue. You find that many naked people on a daily basis on the internet by accident. Can the magazine still sell copies without nudity? How much does it cost now? I’m guessing around six to seven bucks a copy. One thing is for sure, if they don’t have bunnies the parties at Hugh’s mansion might be a lot less interesting.

I saw a bunch of cartoons on this. I thought they were all boring. I didn’t want to touch it unless I could point out a real issue. Donald Trump’s exposure is a significant issue.

Trump is going to host Saturday Night Live. Oh sure. Other politicians will do a skit. Hillary Clinton recently did one. But that’s not hosting. Every single other candidate is going to complain about the free air time Trump is getting. They will each have a point.

Trump doesn’t have to advertise. Yesterday, after the debate, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton each held a rally. So did Trump. Guess which one was carried live by CNN.

Now if Playboy did put The Donald in their final centerfold that would at least make sure nobody would miss the feature.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.