Saturday Night Live

Don’t Mock Vets


cjones11072018

If you told me yesterday that today I’d be drawing a cartoon about Pete Davidson, I would have said, “who what now?”

A friend of mine messaged me on Facebook a Fox News story about the brouhaha over Pete Davidson’s tasteless joke on Saturday Night Live. I hadn’t heard of it yet, and she was hoping I could explain the context of why Davidson was wearing what looked like a prison jump suit. I couldn’t help her out there any more than I could explain why the guy had silverish/aqua colored hair. Seriously, did someone tell him that looks good? Anyway….

Davidson did a sketch on Weekend Update where he gave his “first impressions” of some of the midterm candidates, which he started out by describing as “gross.” He started off easily enough by picking on Florida’s Rick Scott by saying he “looks like someone tried to whittle Bruce Willis out of a penis.” He said New York Congressman Peter King looks like a “cigar came to life.” He said New York Governor Andrew Cuomo looks like “a guy who sleeps with your mom, stays over, and eats breakfast with you in his boxers.” He said Greg Pence, Mike’s bro, “looks like a Ken Doll that spent a year in a river.” Then, he picked on Texas Republican Congressional candidate, Dan Crenshaw.

Crenshaw isn’t off-limits but the comedian went after his eye patch and said, “He looks like a hit man in a porno.” Crenshaw lost his eye while fighting in Iraq. Davidson said Crenshaw looked “kinda cool” but followed up his joke with, “m sorry; I know he lost his eye in war, or whatever.”

I’m not easily offended and I wasn’t by this, but I didn’t find it funny. In fact, I thought the entire sketch fell flat except for the Cuomo joke, which was oddly specific.

Davidson is facing pressure to apologize, and he hasn’t yet. Democratic Senator, Tammy Duckworth said, “This is absolutely appalling.” Duckworth is an Iraq war vet who lost both of her legs. Other critics even pointed out Davidson’s breakup with pop star Ariana Grande, which is something I have no real knowledge over. I’m getting to that age where I don’t know famous young people anymore.

Crenshaw said he won’t ask for an apology. Davidson lost his father in 9/11 and once said, “I like making things of a dark, awkward — weird things that you don’t really find funny, funny. There’s nothing I won’t joke about, and I think it’s because of what happened to me.”

That doesn’t give you clearance to make fun of patriots who were wounded during service. Granted, the Republicans who are outraged by this sit silently while their president mocks war heroes and Gold Star Families, but this isn’t about whataboutism (I just wanted to point that out).

Fellow SNL cast member Kenan Thompson said the joke “missed the mark.”

Crenshaw tweeted, “Good rule in life: I try hard not to offend; I try harder not to be offended. That being said, I hope @nbcsnl recognizes that vets don’t deserve to see their wounds used as punchlines for bad jokes.” That’s good to hear from a Republican since they’ve actually created an industry of white, conservative, Christian males who are always offended over any slight while calling other people “snowflakes” for getting upset over the president’s racism.

Crenshaw also said, “I want us to get away from this culture where we demand apologies every time someone misspeaks.” That’s a great idea I wish more Republicans would take. Crenshaw also suggested that Davidson and the rest of SNL pool some money together and donate it to a veterans charity.  Let’s just hope that it’s actually donated and not like one of those Donald Trump deals, where he says he’s donating it but doesn’t and he goes out with the money he raised and buys a painting of himself.

For Davidson’s part, he also made fun of himself and said he looks like someone “who makes vape juice in a bathtub.”

I started the day not knowing about Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, or even who is Pete Davidson, and now I gotta Google vape juice.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Not His Favorite Baldwin


cjones10202016

I think it’s safe to say that Alec Baldwin is not Trump’s favorite Baldwin brother. It’s probably Stephen who’s a right-wing evangelical and a conservative nut job. Was that redundant? He’s also the star of the much-acclaimed film Sharks In Venice. How he didn’t snag an Oscar for that performance is a true injustice of the movie award voting system. It was probably rigged.

If you had not seen Alex Baldwin’s portrayal of Trump on SNL but read Trump’s tweet saying “it stinks” then you’d get the impression that Baldwin is killing it. He is.

Today president Obama told Donald Trump to stop whining. Trump has gone beyond whining and into insanity over the past few days.

He’s complained that the election is going to be rigged. It’ll be rigged by bankers, “global business elite,” The media, and Saturday Night Live. He’s also accused Carlos Slim, a Mexican billionaire, of guiding The New York Times coverage of his sexual assaults.  Never mind the fact that voter fraud doesn’t really exist. Let me write that again. It doesn’t exist.

When Trump loses this election he is going to lose it fair and square. The only disadvantage he has is that he’s an idiot. He’s surrounded himself with idiots. A lot of people say they don’t want to besmirch Trump supporters, but I will. His supporters and entire base is composed of idiots. Did you hear me? You’re all idiots. Move along now.

Trump supporters (idiots) are towing the “rigged” election line despite lack of any evidence. Even Mike Pence (another idiot) was complaining about the unfair media coverage and how it’s so negative of Trump. I’m sorry, Governor Pence, but when your running mate only says negative things and the press reports it, it’s not their fault the coverage is negative. It’s like the media is biased against Trump for reporting what he actually says. Hours, and often times minutes, his supporters (again, in case you forgot, idiots) are on the air explaining what he really meant.

He has also called for drug tests before the next debate. Seriously. I mentioned this in my last blog and mentioned how bizarre it is that Snorty McSnorterson is the one who wants drug tests. I didn’t believe Trump has a cocaine habit. I thought it was irresponsible for Howard Dean to accuse him of it but now…looking at his history of projecting…yeah he might be dancing with a white rabbit. If the man’s erratic behavior is any indication he’s probably responsible for three fourths of Bolivia’s economy.

Trump also said he walked past Clinton at the debate and he “wasn’t impressed.” Yes it’s a very important quality in a female presidential candidate that she serves fries with that shake. Trump’s comment backs up both of my earlier theories. He’s projecting and he’s totally riding a white horse to the next debate.

In regards to Alec Baldwin, the talented Baldwin (not that idiot shark-movie-making Baldwin), Trump is not amused. He tweeted that SNL isn’t funny anymore while also voicing his displeasure with Baldwin’s orange impression (For the record, Kate McKinnon is also nailing it with her impression of Hillary Clinton). Dude, people have been saying SNL isn’t funny anymore since 1980. Trump didn’t mind SNL’s brand of comedy when he hosted the show last year. He even tweeted how much he thinks of the show. It’s kinda like his hate for the media while loving the fact they’ve given him billions in free campaign coverage.

Hillary Clinton is going to win this election, fairly, and with a huge electoral landslide. Despite that she will not have a mandate because the person she’s going to defeat is a lying, narcissistic, racist, xenophobic, insane bully. And Trump will still be here after the election. He’ll be whining about the media, accusing the election of being rigged, try to start an armed insurgency (as long as he and his children aren’t fighting), all while trying to start his brand new TV network.

The crazy Trump train will keep chugging after November. Toot! Toot!

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The Last Centerfold


cjones10162015

There’s very few reasons to actually read Playboy. You might want to read the short stories, cartoons, or interviews. The magazine was truly great in those areas.

Another reason to read Playboy is if you’re a 15-year-old boy in 1981, before the internet, and you’ve yet to touch a real live girl.

I really wasn’t interested in drawing a cartoon about Playboy discontinuing their monthly centerfold. I don’t care. Playboy has good features in their magazines which the naked photoshopped ladies brought readers to. But seriously, there’s like three naked ladies in each issue. You find that many naked people on a daily basis on the internet by accident. Can the magazine still sell copies without nudity? How much does it cost now? I’m guessing around six to seven bucks a copy. One thing is for sure, if they don’t have bunnies the parties at Hugh’s mansion might be a lot less interesting.

I saw a bunch of cartoons on this. I thought they were all boring. I didn’t want to touch it unless I could point out a real issue. Donald Trump’s exposure is a significant issue.

Trump is going to host Saturday Night Live. Oh sure. Other politicians will do a skit. Hillary Clinton recently did one. But that’s not hosting. Every single other candidate is going to complain about the free air time Trump is getting. They will each have a point.

Trump doesn’t have to advertise. Yesterday, after the debate, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton each held a rally. So did Trump. Guess which one was carried live by CNN.

Now if Playboy did put The Donald in their final centerfold that would at least make sure nobody would miss the feature.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.