Republican

Republican Loyalty


cjones04012016

I hate to use a cliche but a Republican loyalty pledge isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. For the love of God, this loyalty pledge was the very first question at the very first Republican debate. Now they’re all breaking it?

The GOP has been freaking out and in full-rage panic mode for the past few months. They are extremely afraid Donald Trump will be their nominee and not just lose the presidency, but lose the Senate and House in the process.

For months Ted Cruz has been running as an anti-establishment candidate. Today the establishment is coalescing around him and you don’t hear Ted bash the establishment anymore. The establishment is so fearful of Trump that their hero is Ted Cruz.

I don’t think they’re looking beyond the poll numbers of Trump versus Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders. Yes, the GOP stands to lose big with a Trump nomination but they could be in the same nasty chunky brown water with Cruz.

Nobody likes Cruz except for extremely scary people. The people who are scarier than those falling for Cruz as a last resort are those who loved the guy at the start of the race. When Cruz is in a race one-on-one with one of the Democrats his record and stance on the issues will have a brighter spotlight and nobody sane is going to like it.

This brings us to the Loyalty Pledge. At the beginning of the race the GOP was afraid of the possibility of Trump running an independent campaign in the general election if he didn’t win the nomination. So they came up with the Loyalty Pledge which each candidate signed swearing they would support the eventual nominee. Of course none of these freaks expected that nominee to be Super Freak. They expected him to implode at any time and yeah, we all did. He hasn’t.

It’s not just the current candidates who sucks at a promise. Many of those who dropped out threaten they won’t support Trump (except for Christie and Carson). All this after making a big deal about how Trump wouldn’t keep his word.

Trump can’t be counted on keeping his word but let’s throw him out of the mix since he’s a maniac and a pathological liar. Trump has promised, broken the promise, came back to re promise, then broke it and I’ve lose count. Look at the other two candidates.

John Kasich and Ted Cruz signed the thing. Kasich is saying he can’t support Trump and he’s probably not that crazy about supporting Cruz. Ted Cruz says he can’t support Trump, a man who has insulted his wife.

I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to support Donald Trump. I blame them for breaking their word. Ted Cruz was in love with Donald Trump. He was Trump’s remora, clinging to the side of his campaign and swimming in his wake to eat up his sloppy leftovers. The man couldn’t say enough nice things about Trump. Now he doesn’t like him. What changed? Did Trump just suddenly become a crazy, offensive human being last week? No. This isn’t new. Ted Cruz being a sleazy lying opportunistic piece of crap isn’t new either.

These guys like to talk about how Hillary lies. She is not the most honest candidate and frankly I’m not looking forward to a scandal plagued Clinton administration (real scandals with cabinet members having affairs, dallying with prostitutes, and hiring illegals from Ecuador. Not those fake Obama scandals Republicans create. The Clintons surround themselves with very shady people like Dick Morris). What would be supremely worse would be a Cruz, Trump or Kasich administration where they can’t keep any promise, except for those that destroy the nation like putting a Bork on the Court. It won’t matter if they swear on the Bible when they take their oath. I promise they will destroy the country.

I’m looking forward to the brokered convention when this pledge comes into play. Trump may not be the nominee as his party can change the rules, thus voiding out all the primary results. They’re in love with Cruz right now to keep Trump from getting enough delegates. Watch these traitors turn on Cruz at the convention and nominate someone who can wage a campaign and stop the bleeding against the Democrats.  The GOP may have secretly given up on the White House in 2016 and be fighting to keep Congress.

What’s the point of a loyalty pledge if you don’t have to keep it? What’s the point of believing in any of their promises if they can’t keep the most simple one? What is the point of giving us candidates you can’t believe in? I repeat, this was their very first promise at the very first debate. If you can’t keep your first promise you can’t be counted on to keep any.

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Over At The Frankenstein Place


cjones03282016

I’m gonna let you in on a little secret if you promise it won’t freak you out. You have already shared a public restroom with a transgender person. Oh no! Do you want to know why they were in there? They probably had to use the restroom. Freaks, I know. We should pass more laws.

That’s exactly what the mouth-breathing troglodytes did in North Carolina. Their largest city, Charlotte, passed some anti-discrimination laws and the GOP majority legislature along with their Republican governor freaked out. They passed a law forbidding municipalities from being tolerant.

Part of that law says people have to use the public restrooms where the sign coordinates with the gender written on their birth certificate. So basically the government is enacting more wee wee and hoo ha legislation.

My city is pretty gay friendly. We don’t have gay bars. We have gay friendly bars. People really don’t care though we are surrounded by counties that are totally red. There are occasional drag shows here and afterward the performers go bar hopping. I was playing pool one night in a dive bar (you know which one if you’re from Fredericksburg) and one of the performers was still in drag and using the urinal. Guys cleared out of that restroom as if he had ebola. To me, he wasn’t any different or threatening than any other guy in there. He just so happened to be a guy in a mini skirt and fishnet stockings. He couldn’t play pool worth a damn though.

I’m dedicating this cartoon to my ex wife, Chelle. We had a lot of shared interests, loves, inside jokes and movies we would quote. Rocky Horror Picture Show was one of them. Though I had seen the movies years before I met her and even participated in the rice throwing and such at the theater, she really made me appreciate the movie…after making me watch it a thousand times.

I realize Doctor Frankenfurter is not transgender. He is in fact a “sweet transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.”

Chelle, this is “one from the vaults.”

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W’s Bigger Little Brother


cjones02172016

When George W. Bush strode across that flight deck 30 miles off the San Diego coast, wearing a flight suit and boasting “mission accomplished,” it might have been the most obnoxious photo op in political history.

Now Republicans are arguing over how W. kept us safe, and did a good job fighting back after terrorists killed thousands of us. I don’t understand how you talk so much about a terrorist attack which killed thousands of Americans in the same context as “keeping us safe.” After 9/11 Bush destabilized the Middle East, created myths to start a war which killed over a hundred thousand people, killed and injured thousands of Americans and oh yeah…created ISIS. But hey, he kept us safe. And Republicans in South Carolina boo when you bring this up. How dare you talk about facts. How dare your party be so ridiculous that the only one of you who can be somewhat honest about it is Donald Freaking Trump.

The Republicans love to talk about who’s qualified for president. If you think George W. Bush did a good job regarding 9/11 and Iraq then you are not qualified to be president.

Now W. is back trying to help Jeb’s campaign in South Carolina, where he’s currently running fourth. What’s scary is that W. sounds like the smart one.

I watched his speech the other day and it reminded me of the time during his administration when if you questioned him, then your patriotism was questioned. If you weren’t with us you were against us. It was a time that intellect, sophistication, and critical thinking was regarded as a weakness. Mediocrity, stupidity and empty boastful rhetoric was hailed and praised as leadership. Oh, that’s right. We’re still doing that.

Yes, W. was the smart one. Looking at the entire field of Republican candidates, he’s still the smart one. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Republican Road Rage


cjones02152016

I hate the Clown Car analogy that’s been tossed around to describe the Republican candidates for president. It’s not that I disagree with the description. It’s that it’s a lazy analogy and not creative at all. If Chris Matthews uses it then you shouldn’t (and it’s an analogy he repeats every day). So I may be the only American editorial cartoonist (who’s not a conservative hacker) who has not used that analogy. But after seeing the last Republican debate (I didn’t watch all of it, just the hightlights), it did remind me of family road trips from Hell.

Sorry if this brings up bad memories. I was raised the youngest and had an older brother and sister so I probably can’t complain about them being the pain in the butt…it was me. I also have a younger sister and brother but I wasn’t raised with them. Long story.

I never intended to insert Kasich into this cartoon. As I was lettering the text I thought how funny it would be if he was left at a rest stop (probably in Ohio). There’s always that kid without any charisma that you forget, sometimes because the other kids are competing for attention. At the debate before the New Hampshire primary Kasich was forgotten. It took Chris Christie to remind the moderators that they forgot to introduce Governor Blah.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Who’s Violent?


cjones11182015

It’s hard to draw a cartoon on something that’s already a cartoon. A state legislature in Texas, who’s a gun advocate and has an A plus rating from the NRA, says we shouldn’t allow refugees into this country because guns are so easy to buy here. You can’t make up this kind of irony.

That’s a new one in the argument against allowing Syrian refugees into this country. It falls into line with conservatives saying we can’t afford benefits for the refugees. Conservatives are fighting against benefits to poor people, minorities and women who have been born here. It’s also a little bizarre that the pro-life crowd cares about a fetus, but not a child fleeing a civil war…but then again, they also don’t care about American children shot in their classrooms. Conservatives are cowards.

Back to the argument about terrorist sneaking in with refugees:

In fact, over 2,000 on the terrorist watch list has legally purchased a gun in the past decade. You can thank the NRA for that.

Your odds of being killed in a terrorist attack is one in 20 million. Meanwhile, everyday in the United States 33 people are killed by guns. Since 1968, more Americans have died from guns than all of our wars combined. In 2010, 2.694 young Americans were killed by guns including 1,773 victims of homicide, and 67 elementary school-aged children. You’re really worried about being killed by a refugee? You have better odds of being killed by your neighbor in a lawnmower dispute.

Conservatives like to point out that the Boston Bombing Brothers were refugees. Not true. Their family sought asylum after arriving in the U.S. on tourist visas. The brothers were children at the time. Does that mean nobody should be allowed entry into this country?

If a Muslim shoots someone in this country there are immediate fears of terrorism. If a black man kills a white man we look for gang violence. If a white guy shoots up a church we wonder where did that boy go wrong. The odds are that if you’re murdered the perpetrator will be a member of your own race.

Now don’t you feel like you need to stop worrying about Syrian refugees and return your neighbor’s lawnmower?