Republican National Convention

Better Off?


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Before this week’s Republican National Convention, Donald Trump complained that the Democratic National Convention was “dark and gloomy.” Of course, we knew the DNC was a convention based more in reality that provided more facts. Donald Trump is a shitty president (sic) and a horrible and vile human being so when you talk about the Trump presidency, it’s going to be dark and gloomy. We knew this week’s RNC would be a total shitfest of lies selling a message of hate and fear. Donald Trump and the Republicans did not disappoint.

You can’t have an honest convention when you have speakers like Tom Cotton, Gym Jordan, Matt Gaetz, Rudy Giuliani, or anyone named Trump. And there were multiple Trumps. Every Trump child gave a speech except for Barron (sometimes, it pays off when his dad forgets he’s there). Melania gave a speech. Another Trump wife gave a speech. A Trump girlfriend screamed a speech. Having so many speakers related to the president (sic) was some serious fascist Kim Jong Un type of shit. It was a parade of bullshit and nepotism.

There were other aspects of fascism. Donald Trump used his office to campaign for the office. He conducted a naturalization ceremony in the White House with acting-Department of Homeland Secretary Chad Wolf. He issued a pardon in the White House. The Secretary of State flew to Israel in a government plane on your dime to give a speech to the convention. Multiple non-elected government employees gave speeches, from other cabinet officials all the way down to Ivanka, who shouldn’t be there in the first place who bragged about being there. But the largest transgression was Trump’s event at the White House.

The White House is our house, not Donald Trump’s. From Washington to Trump, the first residence has only been temporary. Seeing Trump-Pence signs on the south lawn was one of the most disgusting sites I’ve ever seen from the Trump administration, and I’ve seen a lot. Shooting off fireworks from the Washington Monument, along with Mike Pence’s speech from Fort McHenry, were all abuses of the office. If President Obama had conducted a political rally on the south lawn and had displayed giant Obama-Biden signs, Republicans would have screamed bloody murder. And you know what? I would have joined them.

But nothing gets abused as much in the Trump administration as the truth. Donald Trump paraded a non-white speaker after non-white speaker to tell us over and over Donald Trump is not a racist. If you have to tell people repeatedly that you’re not a racist, you’re probably a racist. If you defend yourself with, “But I have a black friend,” you’re a racist. Throughout this convention, Trump and the GOP used the black-friend defense. Ignore all the time Trump said and did something racist. He has black friends.

They spent four days lying and gaslighting that Donald Trump built a great economy and he can do it again. Donald Trump inherited an economy…then he ruined it. We know he can ruin an economy. Why should we believe he can build one? What evidence is there that Mr. Six Bankruptcies can build one? Is his father going to bail him out? They boasted about adding 9 million jobs while leaving out the part of losing over 20 million. Fascist gaslighting. Next, Orange Mussolini will brag that the trains are on time.

The biggest lie during this con was Trump has a positive performance with the coronavirus pandemic. They boasted about Trump’s swift call to action which wasn’t swift at all. They boasted about him enacting the Defense Production Act, which he had to be goaded into using. They boasted about him banning travel from China which he didn’t actually do. They praised him for banning travel from Europe while neglecting to mention the first version excluded nations with Trump properties.

They neglected to mention Donald Trump promised back in March it would disappear quickly. They didn’t mention, “Everyone who needs a test, gets a test.” They didn’t mention his praise of Doctor Demon Sperm. They didn’t mention his advocacy of experimenting with bleach and other assorted household cleaning products in the human body. They didn’t mention that over 181,000 people are dead from the coronavirus. Now, he’s promising a vaccine by the end of the year which I’m sure they’ll neglect to mention at the end of the year.

But they mentioned China. They mentioned China a lot while not mentioning Donald Trump initially praised China for their honesty and openness. They didn’t mention Russia yet the Russian-owned Trump warned us that a Biden presidency will make American Chinese-owned.

The Republicans spent a week presenting a softer version of Donald Trump. Softer yet still icky. Now, with a little more than two months left before election day, Donald Trump can go back to presenting himself as the very real troglodyte he is. He and his corrupt administration. He will go back to blurting out callous statements over the death of so many people from his lack of preparedness. Statements like, “It is what it is.”

Donald Trump, the man who created a policy of jailing babies and who ignored a virus that’s killed over 181,000 Americans, has spent four years telling us who he is. Believe him. The man willing to risk the lives of your children, like he risked the lives of the 1,500 people attending his south lawn covid party last night, is showing you it’s all about Trump.

This is fascism. The GOP’s platform is only a platform of Trump. Last night, the White House was a shrine to Trump. If Donald Trump is reelected, this nation will be nothing but Trump. Expect more tombstones while a president (sic) focuses more on TV ratings. Expect more defenses of white terrorists.

When challenger Ronald Reagan asked during the 1980 election, “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?”, most Americans said no and they threw Jimmy Carter out and put Reagan into the White House. Ask yourself that question today. If you say no, Donald Trump will tell you it’s Joe Biden’s fault even though Donald Trump is the president.

Donald Trump brags about delivering on his promises. He promised American carnage and he delivered.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

The House That Trump Built


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Republicans don’t comprehend well. You can scream as loud as the banshee Don Jr is dating and they still wouldn’t get it.

For the past three nights, Republicans have used their convention to tell us Donald Trump is not a racist while not once showing any support for Black Lives Matter. Last night, not one of them said Jacob Blake’s name. And of course, no one said Kyle Rittenhouse.

Kyle Rittenhouse is only 17, and like the Republicans he supports, he doesn’t get it. He was a big promoter online of Blue Lives Matter. What he doesn’t get here is, blue lives have always mattered. Today, one of my conservative colleagues drew a cartoon justifying the killing of Blake by arguing he shouldn’t have resisted arrest, and he used the term “all lives matter.” Just like blue lives, white lives have always mattered. The reason we say “black lives matter” is because the culture and system in this nation still does not believe they do. And resisting arrest should not be a death sentence. It’s like arguing a woman asked to be raped because she dressed seductively.

Case in point: Last night, while arguing for equality, Mike Pence defended our “culture” and Confederate statues. Another case in point: New video footage came out showing Kenosha police handing out bottles of water to the “vigilantes.”

The chief of Kenosha’s police says he refused to deputize armed citizens, which is smart. But then, his cops are on the street, handing out water to these militias and thanking them. The chief said his cops would hand out water to anyone, so let’s see the footage of them handing out water to BLM protesters and thanking them.

The chief also defended Rittenhouse saying the shootings wouldn’t have happened if everyone had obeyed the curfew and that Rittenhouse was just there to “resolve” the conflict. Seriously. I’m not a cop, but it seems to me that if the protesters are breaking curfew, then so are the fucking militias who are armed. The cops didn’t tell them to get off the streets.

And the other footage just released shows Kyle Rittenhouse approaching multiple police vehicles, even getting within inches of one, looking in the window, and the cops just waving him off. This was immediately after Rittenhouse had shot three protesters, killing two and taking the arm of another. The protesters were yelling at the police that Rittenhouse had just shot people. The police let him go. Why? Because he’s white.

We don’t need to ask how would the cops have responded if this was a black man with a gun. They shot Jacob Blake seven times in the back and are now supporting that action by saying he had a knife in his car…which he was not in. Also, the cops who shot Blake in the back seven times have STILL NOT BEEN CHARGED. Maybe this is why Rittenhouse dreamed of being a cop. You can shoot black people and get away with it. Hell, he almost did just by being white.

The GOP celebrated Mark and Patricia McCloskey for standing on their lawn pointing guns at Black Lives Matter protesters walking by their house. They had them as speakers at their convention. They warned if Joe Biden is elected, black people may walk by your house where your white family lives. Donald Trump and the Republican Party are making heroes and victims out of the McCloskeys. This probably leaves a huge impression on gun fetishists, especially one as impressionable as a 17-year-old.

Kyle Rittenhouse has a gun fetish. He has a cop fetish. He is a Donald Trump supporter. He even sat in the front row of a Trump rally. He’s also a killer and a terrorist. And the Republicans who support “law and order” and claim they’re the best at protecting us from terrorists…are defending this white terrorist. They’re calling this murderer a hero. This Trumpian version of Hitler Youth got exactly what he wanted. He got to shoot black people and he’s becoming famous, like he said he wanted, in the right-wing bubble.

They’re arguing he was just defending himself. Yeah, he drove across state lines to a town he didn’t live in to confront protesters and defend himself. Then, he ran away back across state lines after shooting people. He did not defend himself. He attacked people. He was on another video claiming it was his job to defend businesses in Kenosha, yet he was in the middle of the street shooting at people. It was not this 17-year-old kid’s job to drive to Kenosha and defend businesses. He should have stayed home and played on 4chan like most right-wing Trump supporting fucknuts.

And the other militia members who were in his presence, it doesn’t seem that any of them had an issue with a kid joining them with an assault rifle. The cops passed him several times and never had an issue with a kid on the streets with an assault rifle. Why? Because he’s white.

And how did he get that assault rifle? He’s 17. He’s not supposed to be able to purchase one. Has anyone on Fox News asked that question? Will the Republican Party ask that question? Let me kill the suspense right now. No.

The GOP is real big about calling for law and order and ending violence…but they won’t specifically call out these militia fucknuts. In fact, Donald Trump tweeted at them to liberate states with Democratic governors.

This morning, Donald Trump, the Republican Party, Fox News, and all conservatives can’t accept their complicity, can’t mention the crimes, can’t call this kid a terrorist, and can’t own any responsibility. Just as he said about the coronavirus, he’s not responsible.

The entire Republican Party is responsible for this kid who went out to shoot black Americans. It’s every right-wing gun fetishist’s dream. It’s why they carry long rifles into Starbucks. They’re hoping a black guy will make their day.

Kyle Rittenhouse went to Kenosha to have his day made. He went stormtrooping down the street, took lives and ruined others. The Republican Party encouraged this and now they’re defending it.

This an issue where we need to fight for civil rights and gun control. And maybe, the Republican Party and the president (sic) of the United States can stop glorifying white right-wing terrorists.

Donald Trump and the Republican Party support and promote white right-wing terrorists.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Family Testimonials


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Full disclosure. I too have sisters (two) who don’t like me and will say all sorts of nasty things. Things like, “entitled,” “selfish,” “spoiled,” “wasted my talent,” etc. But in my defense, I’m not the only person in the family they refuse to talk to (in my case, I choose not to talk to them), they’re not federal judges and they’re Trump supporters.

Donald Trump’s older sister is a retired federal judge and she apparently spent about 15 hours shit-talking her brother. What did Maryanne Trump Barry say about her baby bro? He’s a “liar,” “cruel,” “People can’t trust him,” and he’s a “man of no principles.” She also complained about how Donald Trump has treated migrant families and said, “All he wants to do is appeal to his base.” About ripping families apart and throwing babies in jail, she said, “I mean my God, if you were a religious person, you want to help people. Not do this.” She said, “what they’re doing with kids at the border,” and guessed her brother “hasn’t read my immigration opinions” in court cases.

She also said he doesn’t read and she’s apparently the one who told their niece, Mary Trump, that Donald paid someone to take the SATs for him to get into the University of Pennsylvania because he was too stupid to get in on his own.

Last week, more than 70 former Republican national security officials endorsed Biden, saying Trump had engaged in corrupt behavior “that renders him unfit to serve as president.” But hey, don’t take it from them. Take it from his own sister.

The recordings were made by their niece, Mary Trump, who just released a book bashing The Donald, “Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man.” She secretly recorded her aunt, Maryanne Trump Barry, trying to get more information over their inheritance which she felt cheated out of. Being that they’re Trumps, I’m sure she was. Maryanne Trump didn’t know she was being recorded, which was legal in the state of New York.

Maryanne repeated what we’ve all been saying for years. She said, “The change of stories. The lack of preparation. The lying. Holy shit.” Holy shit, indeed.

Donald Trump didn’t attack his older sister but defended himself with, “Every day it’s something else, who cares.” His chief-of-staff however was sent to the Sunday morning talk shows to disparage her along with the niece. Meadows tried to slight her by mentioning she didn’t attend their younger brother’s funeral held at the White House over the weekend. Somehow, an 83-year-old judge didn’t want to be around a lot of no-mask-wearing fucknuts in a covid hot spot.

At their own father’s funeral, Mary Trump claims Donald was the only one who didn’t talk about his father, instead talking about himself, which I’m sure no one finds believable (insert eye roll here). Maryanne Trump told her son afterward not to let any of her siblings speak at her funeral.

These recordings are just in time for the Republican National Convention where Donald will have other family members speak, like his idiot son Donald Trump Jr, who will speak on the first night. Eric and Tiffany will speak on the second night, and his wife, Melania, plans to deliver last week’s speech by Michelle Obama from Jackie Kennedy’s Rose Garden she just destroyed. On the last night, Ivanka will speak despite being a federal employee. With Donald Trump and Melania speaking from the White House, and with Ivanka’s participation, it’ll be hard to deliver a law-and-order platform when you’re breaking the law while delivering that platform.

Donald Trump plans to speak every night of the convention. Again, I have to watch all this shit. Ugh. Did I mention Matt Gaetz and Jim Jordan are speaking tonight? I’m tempted to warm up my oven so I can stick my head in it.

This revelation, that his own sister thinks Donald Trump is cruel, a liar, a phony, and isn’t prepared, won’t hurt him with his base who are people who lie, are cruel, and have no principles (I mentioned Matt Gaetz and Jim Meadows are speaking, right?). People with principles don’t support someone as openly corrupt as Donald Trump. Maryanne Trump said “It’s the phoniness of it all. It’s the phoniness and this cruelty. Donald is cruel.”

Phony and cruel. That’s what his base is voting for.

As for Donald Trump and his sister, he can always say we can’t trust anything she says because she’s a Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Little Pony


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Trump strategist and noted idiot Sean Spicer went on CNN and MSNBC to defend Melania’s plagiarism by saying some content of her speech is similar to “My Little Pony.” Plagiarism is magic! After spending a day and a half denying any similarities between Melania’s and Michelle Obama’s speeches, and blaming Hillary Clinton (yes….blaming Hillary Clinton), the Trump campaign offered a head on a platter.

Meredith McIver (not “MacGyver”), the writer of the tainted speech, said Melania admires Michelle Obama and quoted parts of her speech to McIver over the phone. McIver, who claims she never looked at Obama’s speech, said that she took notes and included them in the speech. I gotta say, she takes very good notes since she got it word for word. Also, since Melania was such a big admirer of Michelle Obama (which is uncomfortable for Republicans), and read those lines to the writer, why didn’t she recognize them when she read them later in her speech? If I tell you I love Nirvana and you come back with a speech that includes “a mulatto, an albino
a mosquito, my libido,” I’m gonna notice some similarities.

I suppose we’re now required to forget that Melania took total credit for her speech beforehand. But then again, this very intelligent self-made woman who married a billionaire has it in her bio that she graduated from college, when she’s in fact a drop out. Nothing wrong with that. I’m a college dropout but I don’t lie about degrees I don’t have on resumes.

Republicans state she’s not stupid because she’s fluent in five languages. Really? Have you heard Melania speak five languages? I know what “hasta la vista” and “por favor” mean, but that doesn’t make me fluent in Spanish.

So far at this convention we’ve had a pastor describe Democrats as the enemy, a speaker who’s a member of American Muslims For Trump (and he’s probably the only member), speakers yelling for prison time for Hillary, Ben Carson accusing Hillary of having a devil worshiper as her hero, Congressman Steve King saying white people have contributed more to civilization than any other race, and a Trump adviser saying Hillary Clinton should be shot.

Republicans are selling merchandise at the convention calling Clinton a “bitch,” and mentioning her body parts. You had Chachi tweeting out a very vulgar comment about Clinton.

Only 18 of the 4,472 delegates are black. They’ve had more minority speakers than minorities in the audience. It’s really hard to engage in minority outreach while being the biggest bag of dicks in American history.

On top of all this, Laura Ingraham finished off her speech with a Heil Hitler salute. I’m still waiting for that one to be explained.

There’s been a lot of themes for this convention, but it’s been entirely based upon hate, vitriol, and vengeance.

This convention has been a total dumpster fire. I’m loving it!

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Paul Ryan The Speaker Guy


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I’m kinda disgusted with myself. I feel icky for drawing Larry The Cable Guy, a testament to America’s rejection of intellectualism and a tribute to lowbrow humor and stupidity. I feel all sorts of nasty because I googled quotes from Larry The Cable Guy as I was going to use one for this cartoon and then I decided not to as too many focus on farting. Finally, after reading all the Larry poop jokes I must have lost a few brain cells as I was on the verge of texting copy editor friends of mine with “is it ‘Get ‘Er Done'” or ‘Get-R-Done?'”. All that’s missing is some Luke Bryan music playing in the background (Luke Bryan’s a country singer, right? I can’t Google anymore stupid tonight).

I need a shower but I probably don’t need one as much as Speaker of the House Paul Ryan’s going to after speaking at the Republican National Convention next month in Cleveland.

Before Ryan endorsed Trump he said if Trump didn’t want him at the convention he was cool with it. It probably went down like “really! I’m cool with it. I’ll be fine. I’ll find something else to do. It’s all good. Just go on without me. Seriously.” But then the idiot went and endorsed Trump the same day he described some of Trump’s words as “racist,” and got himself back into that stinky convention commitment. Try worming your way out of it now, Mr. Speaker.

Trump has been reaching a lot of voice mails lately. He’s calling people to speak at the convention and a lot of them aren’t answering, or they’re changing their numbers, burning their phones, going off the grid, going MIA. Seriously, has anyone seen Arnold Schwarzenegger lately? He’ll be back.

Chris Christie will attend but there’s probably catering (that’s not entirely a fat joke as I myself have attended some messed-up stuff for a buffet. I have probably attended 17 Rotarian meetings where the speaker was Trent Lott every. single. time. I’m a newspaper person and we’ll go anywhere for a free sandwich). Newt Gingrich will be there but he’s always selling a book or something (this year it’s a pop-up and the reviews have been amazing. I made that up…about the pop-up and the reviews). Usually congressmen are clawing over each other for a speaking spot. This year they’re running away as if Trump had a leprosy Chlamydia combo going. It’s Chlamydprosy. You don’t want that. It’s hard enough getting people near you as a Republican.

Trump has also stated that if people don’t endorse him, specifically the former GOP candidates like Ted Cruz and John Kasich, that they shouldn’t be allowed to speak at the convention. That might bother Ted Cruz because he’s an attention whore, but John Kasich seems fine with it. He doesn’t need to make the long hour-long slog from Columbus to Cleveland in July. He’s probably already sent the “you do you” text.

Did you think it got weird in 2012 at the McCain/Palin convention when Clint Eastwood talked to a chair? Wait until Ted Nugent reads a love poem to an Uzi.

Traditionally every Republican party leader attends the convention and speaks. Trey Gowdy’s going to the beach and Mark Sanford is walking on a trail. Mitt Romney’s staying home to count his car elevators. John McCain can’t think of a worse place to be, and he was a POW. If there’s a tarnished former president like Richard Nixon, they kinda shove him aside and don’t speak of him. But traditionally former presidents show up. Neither George H.W. or George W. Bush aren’t attending. This is the first time not going to a party is George W. Bush’s choice.

This pretty much leaves speaking at the convention to the likes of Mike Ditka, Bobby Knight, Dana White (he runs that UFC stuff), Tom Brady (he’s a maybe), Brian France (who runs NASCAR which is kind of a sport), and Mike Tyson who’s not even capable of speaking. We’ll probably also be treated to appearances by Sarah Palin and Chachi.

Have you ever seen the warm up acts for a Trump speech? Yesterday in Maine the warm up guy was doing a racist imitation of Native Americans while calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.” Look forward to three full days of that.

Did anyone invite Carrot Top? He was a last-second addition to this cartoon. I know he’s working Vegas but he’s probably available for $300 and a bus ticket. Someone should call him and “get ‘er done.”

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!