Palestinians

GRRRRRRRRReat Peace Negotiator


Cjones05162021

Do you remember the TV show “Finding Bigfoot?” In case you never saw it, it was about four morons traipsing through the forests of America looking for a creature that doesn’t exist. I didn’t see every episode, but of the few I did see, I never saw them tell a witness that their experience probably wasn’t a bigfoot encounter. Anytime a “witness” told them they heard some rustling in the woods, these “Squatch” experts would always say some shit like, “From my many years of squatching, it sounds like you definitely, positively, indeedly, and absolutely had a bigfoot encounter.” Never mind the fact there are animals in the woods that are known to make noises.

These guys, and one skeptical female, have been “squatchin'” for over three decades which they feel qualifies them as experts at finding bigfoot despite the fact (spoiler alert) they never do find a bigfoot.

The TV show ran on Animal Planet for nine years. Nine freaking years and not one bigfoot. Hell, not even a littlefoot. They never found any mermaids, unicorns, leprechauns, Loch Ness monsters, or fiscal Republicans either. But these guys should go ahead and build an institute for finding bigfoot where they can explain the techniques to finding bigfoots, their habits, traits, what kind of food they eat, their mating habits, and why they refuse to sit still for photos…even though none of them has never actually seen a bigfoot. The closest thing this nation’s ever seen to a skunk ape is Donald Trump and that skunky-bleached thing on his head.

They can build the Institute for Finding Bigfoot next to Jared Kushner’s Institute for Peace.

Yes. Jared Kushner, the same Jared Kushner who was appointed by his father-in-law to solve the conflict between Israel and Palestine, is building an institute that will follow his leadership on bringing peace to the Middle East. Has anyone asked people in Israel and Palestine lately, “Are you tired of winning yet?”

With Israel and Hamas attacking each other and rockets landing everywhere, buildings collapsing, and children dying, where’s Jared? I thought Jared fixed this.

Jared recently wrote an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal giving advice to President Biden on how to bring peace to the Middle East, which is confusing because I thought Jared had already done that.

Jared wrote he “set the table” to “unleash the Middle East’s potential, keep America safe, and help the region turn the page on a generation of conflict and instability,” and if Joe Biden was “smart,” his administration would embrace the opportunity created by the Trump administration.

Yeah, if you’re smart, you’ll listen to Jared, who was also put in charge of our immigration crisis at the border, the opioid crisis, justice reform, and he was the liaison to Mexico, China, and the U.S. Muslim community. He was also in charge of the heat lamps keeping all the Big Macs toasty every time a sports team visited the Trump White House.

Donald Trump put Jared in charge of resolving the decades-on-top-of-decades conflict between Israel and the Palestinians. Jared, being a trust-fund baby and real-estate guy who actually sucks at real estate, thought the conflict was merely over real estate…and then helped Israel further its expansion into Palestinian-held areas. He thinks it’s all about real estate and all the real estate belongs to Israel. They also though moving the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem would solve the crisis and be welcomed by the Palestinians.

Donald Trump actually believed Jared was the right man for the job, despite not having any experience with diplomacy or foreign policy, because he’s Jewish…and there has never been anyone Jewish working on peace in the Middle East.

Jared did bring peace between Israel, Bahrain, and the United Arab Emirates Republic, two nations Israel has never been at war with. Jared may as well have negotiated a peace deal between Israel and Iceland. He struck a deal with Saudi Arabia that now allows Israeli planes to fly through Saudi air. He also negotiated personal business bailouts from Qatar which some people may refer to as a “bribe.”

The Israel-Palestinian conflict wasn’t mentioned with the “peace accords” between Israel and nations it’s never been at war with, but Jared did address that issue by saying the problem could be solved if Palestinians could just stop being angry with Israel. My god. He is a genius.

Now, if we put Jared in charge of finding that Houston tiger, he’ll probably come back with a ferret he painted stripes on. We could even put him in charge of finding bigfoot. After all, we’ve already seen him in photos with a bleached skunk ape.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Stepping Out In Jerusalem


cjones05192018

So, what’s the most fashionable brand of designer boots to wear at a bloodshed of your father’s creation?

I’m sorry. That’s not entirely fair. Ivanka was not at a bloodshed of her father’s creation. She was at a party sixty miles away celebrating the cause of it.

Why was our representation at the opening ceremony for the U.S. embassy in Jerusalem Ivanka and Jared? Kim Jong Un sent his sister to the opening ceremony of the Olympics because North Korea is a tyrannical regime run by a family. Is that what we’re becoming? If there’s something significant, the president sends his children as if we’re some banana republic run by a tin-pot dictator. It’s bad enough Steve Mnuchin and an anti-Semitic pastor was there.

While the trust fund babies were celebrating the opening, Gaza was burning. Over 50 Palestinians were killed protesting the relocation of the embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Ivanka, Jared, and Mnuchin were indifferent and obtuse to the violence and deaths because of this action. Everybody, smile, wave, and look pretty…except Mnuchin.

The White House blamed the deaths on Hamas, thus endorsing the shooting of protesters as many were taken out by snipers. Israel has an apartheid policy toward Gaza and most experts believe the area will be unlivable in the coming years if it’s not already.

Moving the embassy has taken the United States out of the peace talks in the Middle East. The rest of the world refuses to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and consider it occupied territory. Moving the embassy has taken us from an honest broker to one who has taken sides.

Trump sycophants are clamoring for him to receive a Nobel Peace Prize for scheduling a meeting with North Korea, yet his decision to move our embassy to Jerusalem has actually cost lives. Donald Trump finally has blood on his hands, proving he’s not just a danger to the United States but to the rest of the world. Trump has not brought peace to the world. He’s only brought more violence. Trump’s policies kill people.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is not a man who wants peace. He campaigned for this move, uncaring about the coming violence knowing it would probably only kill Palestinians. He’s eager for a war between the U.S. and Iran and has done all he can to make it happen. The man is fear mongering and lying about Iran’s ability to create a nuclear weapon while Israel is a nuclear state that has never allowed international inspections.

Jared, who can’t get a security clearance, is in charge of bringing peace to the Middle East. His presence, along with Ivanka’s, is just a display that nepotism reigns in the United States government, not experience or qualifications.

Trump took us out of the Iran Nuclear Treaty, brought death to Gaza, and will not take that Midas touch to negotiations with North Korea. I only have one question.

What will Ivanka wear to a nuclear Armageddon?

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Falling On Netty And His Little Broom Too


cjones12272016

After the United Nations Security Council voted 14-0 to condemn Israel for continuing to build settlements in East Jerusalem, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said “friends don’t take friends to the Security Council.” As Vincent Vega said to Butch in Pulp Fiction, “I’m not your friend, Palooka.”

Netanyahu was so upset over the vote that he summoned ambassadors from the voting nations that have a diplomatic presence in the Jewish state to give them an official scolding. He’s even accused the Obama administration, which could have vetoed the ruling but instead abstained, of orchestrating the vote.

It would take a lot of orchestrating to convince fourteen nations to give your country an international lashing. The nations of China, France, Russia, United Kingdom, Angola, Egypt, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, Senegal, Spain, Ukraine, Uruguay, and Venezuela were unanimous that Israel needs to stop building settlements on territory claimed by the Palestinians. When 15 nations are against you, you might be the on the wrong side.

The land in question was taken in the Six-Day War in 1967. The Geneva Convention forbids building settlements on land taken in war. Israel’s continued defiance of international law puts them in the pariah type of company of Iran and North Korea, except no one really gives Israel a hard time about possessing nuclear weapons.

In 1947 Jerusalem was intended to be an international area administered by the United Nations. Jordan captured the Eastern half with Israel taking the West. Israel captured the East in 1967 and later declared the city as their capital. You can see how that can peeve everyone off and be an obstacle to a two-nation state solution. Other nations do not recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital as it violates international law, but Donald Trump is promising to do so and to move our embassy to the city while stating he’ll create peace between Israel and Palestine. That’s going to be interesting.

Trump doesn’t realize he’s not actually president yet and he’s stepping on Obama’s toes in several matters including this one. Before the vote he Tweeted that the U.S. should veto the resolution and afterward sent another tweet stating that the UN “is just a club for people to get together, talk and have a good time.” The ironic thing is he sent that tweet from his Mar-a-Lago golf club.

Another case of irony in this is Netanyahu’s statement about our friendship. This is a guy who spoke before the U.S. Congress, without an invitation from the president, to basically campaign for Republicans against the president.

Netanyahu is probably more excited about a Trump presidency than David Duke, which is another case of irony.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!