Fartsy Foreign Meddling


I have this belief that if Donald Trump wins reelection, he’ll pull the United States out of NATO, he’ll invite Vladimir Putin to the White House, and he’ll withdraw all American forces off the Korean peninsula.

I don’t have this belief because I’m suffering from imaginary Trump Derangement Syndrome. I believe this because there are reports he’s voiced out loud about doing all three. In regards to Korea, he now has another reason. A film from South Korea won an Oscar for best picture. For some reason, that really pisses Donald Trump off.

At a racist fucknut rally yesterday, Donald Trump stood up to defend the American film industry from foreign attacks. I don’t really get it. He railed against the film “Parasite,” a South Korean production that you would have to watch with subtitles unless you speak Korean. “Parasite” is the first foreign-language film to win Best Picture.

Trump said to the adoring racist masses, “And the winner is a movie from South Korea, what the hell was that all about? We got enough problems with South Korea with trade. On top of it, they give them the best movie of the year? Was it good? I don’t know.” He then asked, “Can we get ‘Gone With the Wind’ back, please?” and also name-checked “Sunset Boulevard.” What’s next? Complain that James Woods has never won an Oscar? I haven’t actually looked that up but I am that confident he hasn’t won one.

Donald Trump doesn’t understand how anything works. “Gone With the Wind” won an Oscar for Best Picture in 1940, thus it’s not eligible to win one in 2020. “Sunset Boulevard” came out in 1950. But if Trump’s going to campaign for any movie, perhaps he should look into “Dumb and Dumber.”

Neon, the U.S. film production and distribution company backing “Parasite,” replied with, “Understandable. He can’t read,” referencing the film’s subtitles. The Democratic National Committee took the same tack with, “‘Parasite’ is a foreign movie about how oblivious the ultrarich are about the struggles of the working class, and it requires two hours of reading subtitles. Of course, Trump hates it.” And he hates it without even having seen it. But then again, he has an opinion about everything he doesn’t know anything about. I bet he has a lot of them on the G spot.

I’m not sure why he’s going after a foreign film winning an Oscar since he’s not a big fan of recent U.S. films either. But at least he’s trying to protect something American. When it comes to Russian meddling in our elections, past and present, he doesn’t care. A foreign power attacking our democratic process, he goes four years without mentioning. South Koreans winning an Oscar, that he mentions.

After acting-Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire briefed Congress on Russia interfering in the 2020 election to help Trump, Donald Trump got upset and viewed Maguire as disloyal. Trump is afraid Democrats will use the information against him in the election. For Trump, using the fact he’s accepting foreign help is worse than him using foreign help, and the Director of National Intelligence is supposed to be more loyal to him than to America.

Donald Trump, who has told his minions that he wants to remove people from government who are not loyal to him, is now removing Maguire and replacing him with a loyal Trump goon. Maguire is a career official who is respected by the intelligence rank and file. Trump is replacing him with Richard Grennell, who is the current ambassador to Germany (was disappointed to find out the Nazis are gone) and has zero experience with intelligence. In fact, he’s more fond of carrying water for Trump’s conspiracy theories. There’s also talk of eventually making Congressman Doug Collins the permanent Director, who is also a bigger proponent of Trump conspiracy theories than facts.

In fact, during the briefing to Congress delivered by Shelby Pierson, the American intelligence community’s top election security official, Republicans accused the briefers of trying to sabotage Trump. Then, Devin Nunes went running to Donald Trump to tell him about it and warn him that Adam Schiff, lead impeachment manager and Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, was in the room. Reportedly, Trump went off the rails at Maguire before firing him. Now there are reports that Pierson may be leaving also. Maybe Nunes is also the one to tell Trump about “Parasite.”

Donald Trump is worried this information will be used against him, which would be legal. But we don’t need this briefing to know Russia is helping Donald Trump win reelection. We already knew this. Trump’s supporters may always use the defense of “Russia, Russia, Russia” while rolling their eyes, but the rest of the nation takes our security seriously. The rest of us are more loyal to our country than to an orange cult leader. Also, Vladimir Putin already told us he wanted Trump to win in 2016, so duh.

Donald Trump doesn’t like “Parasite,” because it’s about a family posing as something they’re not to get into a house where they don’t belong. But the most ironic thing is, he is a parasite. Personally, I don’t mind reading for two hours so I’m going to watch “Parasite.”

A family posing as something they’re not to get into a house where they don’t belong? I really need to know how it ends.

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Do The Right Thing


During his acceptance speech for winning an Oscar Sunday night, director Spike Lee said, “The 2020 presidential election is around the corner. Let’s all mobilize. Let’s all be on the right side of history. Make the moral choice between love versus hate.”

Mobilize? Be on the right side of history? Make the moral choice between love and hate? That’s a very uplifting message only a righteous douchebag could get upset over. So…Donald Trump got upset over it and sent out a 6:50 am hate tweet.

Trump tweeted, “Be nice if Spike Lee could read his notes, or better yet not have to use notes at all, when doing his racist hit on your President, who has done more for African Americans (Criminal Justice Reform, Lowest Unemployment numbers in History, Tax Cuts,etc.) than almost any other Pres!”

Firstly, how is what Spike Lee said in any way racist toward Trump or anyone else? It’s not like he said he hates Oompa Loompas and doesn’t want any to move into his neighborhood. Second, all the positive numbers for African-Americans since Trump came into office is a continuance of an upward trend started during Obama’s presidency. Trump is continuing his trend of taking credit for “my” president’s accomplishments. Third, if criticizing someone of a different race is racist, then Trump’s tweet was racist. And fourth, Trump’s going to criticize someone else’s reading skills? Seriously?

Lee capped off his statement with, “Do the right thing,” the title of his 1989 movie. Lee is right in that we need to do the right thing and end this nightmare of a president who strives to always do the wrong thing. This is a president who chooses hate over love. He uses hate to feed his base and maintain his dwindling support.

BlacKkKlansman spoiler in the next paragraph: Lee won his first competitive Oscar, for best adapted screenplay for his great movie BlackKklansman.  In the film set in the early 1970s, two of the characters debate whether this nation will ever elect a person like David Duke as president. One of the characters explains that Duke was working to make his hate and racist agenda mainstream. The film ends showing the hate march of neo-Nazis in Charlottesville which killed counter protester Heather Heyer. David Duke endorsed Donald Trump. Trump endorsed the Nazis march in Charlottesville. We elected a man like David Duke.

In 2020, we have to correct this. When we vote in 2020, you and I have to do the right thing.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Oscars Grab


Plenty of highlights come out of the Academy Awards that I always read about the next day. I don’t watch award shows. Why would I? Why does anyone?

While there is still a lot of focus on who wore what, people in my business pay attention to how the movie industry reflects society. We also wait for a Trump Tweet attacking any criticism he may have received at the ceremony.

This year’s awards were focused on diversity. A Mexican immigrant won the award for best director. The award for best screenplay went to a black man for the first time. Best animation went to a tale about Mexico. How nice of Tinseltown talk about diversity while it hasn’t always reflected it. This is an industry that looked the other way, and excused, for decades as women were sexually harassed by those in power.

While the Academy Awards and Hollywood is a trendsetter for American culture, it often takes decades to catch up to reality and what’s truly important.

Ashley Judd, Salma Hayek and Annabella Sciorra, three of Harvey Weinstein’s accusers gave a presentation highlighting diversity in films.  Does this mean the industry will start reflecting diversity with casting and pay?

I’m always amused by people who say they don’t care about the Oscars while complaining incessantly about it. But, there is something to not caring about a bunch of rich, privileged, out-of-touch people giving awards to each other. The “important” people do take care of each other, as people like Ben Affleck and Quentin Tarantino spent decades remaining silent about Weinstein. They never defended the women who were victimized, but they made sure to pick up their checks and awards from their association with Harvey.

Hollywood punished actresses who called out Weinstein years ago. Now, people like Affleck and Tarantino say how horrible it was. Like latching onto the #MeToo movement when it’s trendy, Hollywood is playing catch up.

While I do enjoy some of the political jokes, and feel good for particular winners (like Jordan Peele, Sam Rockwell, and Allison Janney), I don’t really don’t care about the industry’s viewpoints anymore than I care about who wore what.

Here’s the video.

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Lie Lie Land


Think Progress, which admittedly is a very liberal website, has tracked 64 broken promises by Donald Trump within his first 30 days in office. I read it and while some are a stretch, he has already broken a crap load of promises. But this is Donald Trump. He lies. It’s what he does.

He said he wouldn’t have time to take vacations or play golf as being president would keep him busy. Lies. He said he’d cut ties to his businesses. More lies. He once said on the campaign trail that he’d get rid of Obamacare on his very first day in office. Huge lie. Notice how Congress, which voted to repeal Obamacare over 50 times while Obama was in office, hasn’t done squat on it since their president came into office? Trump also said he’d defeat ISIS within his first 30 days. Really big lie. He even said he’d stop tweeting after he became president. To quote The Thompson Twins, “lies, lies, lies, yeah.” I know. You gotta go way back to the 1980s and YouTube for that reference but in my defense, I’m old.

I did not watch the Oscars. A lot of people don’t watch out of protest. I don’t watch because I really don’t care. I watched The Walking Dead (I had a week to catch up on). While I was working on my last cartoon I received a few comments from readers saying they were looking forward to my take on the big Oscar mix up at the end of the event. Whosy whaty now? What’d I miss?

Oh, they called the wrong film for best picture. I went back and watched what happened. Did you watch or read about it? Well even if you did I’ll explain my take.

Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty were to announce the winner of Best Picture. Apparently these two don’t like each other. Warren probably slept with her in the 70s and he still hasn’t called her back. Dunaway was insistent on being the one to announce the winner. Earlier in the evening Emma Stone won for Best Actress for La La Land (a movie I haven’t seen yet but should since I heard it’s really popular with white people and I’m a white people).

So Warren has the envelope and he sees that it says “Emma Stone” on the card and underneath her name it says “La La Land.” He knows there’s a problem as it says “Best Actress.” He pauses and Dunaway seemed afraid he’d announce the winner, took the card and saw “La La Land” and announced them as the winner. It’s all her fault.

The people from La La Land came on stage and did their speeches and while they were still up there it was announced that the actual winning film is “Moonlight.” That’s another movie I haven’t seen yet.

Jimmy Fallon, or Jimmy Kimmel, whichever Jimmy hosted that show, made the obvious Steve Harvey joke so that was taken from America’s political cartoonists, I hope. I knew there would be Trump/Hillary cartoons. I knew there’d be cartoons blaming Putin. My original idea had Trump winning for most terrific president ever. I wasn’t that excited about it and I figured another cartoonist somewhere would do something similar so I kept thinking about it. I really don’t know how I came up with this idea. I think there are wormholes in my brain and I keep going down them.

Donald Trump made a comment on the screw up because he has to comment on everything. He said they messed up because they were too focused on him. Once again everything is about him in his little Trump head. He’ll be speaking to Congress tomorrow night in prime time because he’s apparently not getting enough coverage in the press.

“Lie Lie Land” has been used in a lot of cartoons since that La La movie came out. I saved it for the cartoon. What is that movie about anyway? Any zombies in it?

Here’s something weird: This is the second cartoon in a week I’ve drawn that’s mentioned Emma Stone, who was in a movie with zombies once and I’m still waiting on that sequel. I’ll post the other Emma cartoon later today or tomorrow which was drawn for The Costa Rica Star.

Emma Stone is apparently the hot thing going right now which is alright by me. I’ve always liked her as she usually plays a really intelligent smart ass with a lot of spirit. I liked her in Zombieland and would probably even like her in the sequel if they ever make it. She was great in The Help, Easy A, and Crazy, Stupid, Love. I even liked her in The Rocker. The only stuff she’s done I haven’t liked was those two Spiderman movies and Aloha, where she was cast as an Asian/Hawaiian. What? Who came up with that crap and why would she do it?

But hey, if Donald Trump can pass as presidential I guess it’s believable that Emma could be Asian/Hawaiian.

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White Oscars


I don’t know who would be offended more with this comparison. Liberal Hollywood or Republicans. Republican friends of mine attempt to claim that their party attracts blacks. They’ll point out a black candidate as if that’s an indication. It’s kinda like the Green Bay Packers. Just because there are black guys playing on the team doesn’t mean there’s any in the stands at Lambeau Field. If there’s one African American attending a GOP event, the camera will zoom in on them repeatedly.

I really don’t care that much about the Academy Awards. I never watch though I will root for someone. Usually I hope someone who’s never been recognized will win a statue, even if I haven’t seen the movie they’re nominated for. Last year I was rooting for Michael Keaton for best actor for his part in Birdman, though I hadn’t seen the movie yet. He didn’t win and I eventually saw the movie and he was excellent.

I have no idea who to root for this year as I can’t remember who’s been nominated and I don’t care enough right now to Google it. I do know Leo Dicaprio has been nominated again, this time for that movie where he wrestles a bear. I don’t care even though I’d probably root for the bear in that fight.

Though I don’t care about which individual wins an award, especially the Grammys (that’s just a glorified popularity contest that once gave the heavy metal Grammy to Jethro Tull, a flute blowing folkish band), I do care about exclusion. While individuals don’t have a right to be upset when they’re not nominated, or they don’t win (they can be disappointed), everyone should be angry when recognition eludes an entire race that has actually made an impact in the industry that’s serving out the awards. This is the second year in a row where they have failed to nominate one black actor. That’s 20 nominations (I just looked that up), 40 if you add both years. This “academy” gave one of their awards to Matthew McConaughey. While I did not see the movie he won the award for (because Matthew McConaughey was in it) I do know who he is and that he is the suck of all sucks. If they could give one to that ass clown then couldn’t they find one black actor worthy of a nomination?

I won’t be watching the Oscars this year. Is it boycotting since I never watch the Oscars?

I had this concept for a cartoon several days ago. I mention when I think I’m the first one to cover a subject. With this one I might be the last.

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