North Korea Nukes

Dear Leaders and Generals


cjones09052017

On Sunday, North Korea detonated its largest nuclear weapon to date, with an explosion five times greater than any of their previous tests. It’s no longer a question if the rogue regime has a weapon capable of destroying a large city, but if and when they can miniaturize one and place it inside a missile, and how far that missile can reach.

After North Korea seemed to back down from their threat of firing a missile toward Guam, Trump and his surrogates credited his “fire and fury” comments. Trump went on to say that maybe North Korea was “starting to respect us.” North Korea responded by firing a missile over Japan. Trump responded to that test by saying, “talking is not the answer.” And now, Kim Jong Un has detonated his largest weapon to date.

Trump’s response to this? Taking to Twitter, of course, and going after…our allies. Trump criticized South Korea’s approach to the North as “appeasement.” He is also threatening to end trade with any nation that deals with North Korea.

Apparently, Trump has instructed his advisers to prepare to withdraw from a free-trade agreement we have with South Korea. His threat to end trade with nations that do business with North Korea would include China, Russia, and India, among others.

Meanwhile, his tweeting might be as nerve wracking internationally as Kim Jong Un’s nuclear hobby. David Straub, a former State Department official who dealt with both Koreas, said: “They (South Korea) think they’re dealing with an unreasonable partner and complaining about it isn’t going to help — in fact, it might make it worse.” Straub also said, “Opinion polls show South Koreans have one of the lowest rates of regard for Trump in the world, and they don’t consider him to be a reasonable person. In fact, they worry he’s kind of nuts, but they still want the alliance.”

South Korea isn’t alone in thinking Trump is nuts and unreasonable. Michael Hayden, a retired Air Force general and former head of the National Security Agency and the CIA said, “You gotta watch the tweets.” On CNN he said, “I think we had an unforced error over the weekend when we brought up the free trade agreement with our South Korea friends on whom we have to cooperate. . . . It’s wrong on the merits, and it’s certainly not integrated into a broader approach to northeast Asia.”

Adam Schiff, the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee said, “We need to be working hand in hand with South Korea, and with Japan. Why we would want to show divisions with South Korea makes no sense at all.”

Of course, none of it makes sense. In the past, Trump described Kim Jong Un as a “smart cookie,” and on the campaign trail, he said he’d be “honored” to meet with Kim and have a burger with him. Going after the South only encourages Kim to continue actions that will put further distance between us and our allies.

If Trump’s tweets and saber-rattling rhetoric has been a test to see if they’d intimidate North Korea, we can now consider those tests as failed.

Trump claimed he knew more than the generals, and he could handle basically every problem better than Obama. He’s proven the direct opposite, which isn’t a surprise. He needs to work with his generals and try to find real solutions. His tweeting isn’t just endangering his presidency, it’s endangering South Korea, Japan, and the United States.

When are we supposed to start all that winning we’ll eventually get tired of? If “talking is not the answer,” then the first to shut up should be Donald Trump.

Creative note: I reserve the right to break my cartooning rules. One of the more recent ones has been to refrain from using the Twitter logo. It’s been used to the point of overkill by my colleagues. It’s as bad as using the “MAGA” caps. They were fun at first, but not after two years of campaigning. It’s time to find new metaphors…and then maybe going back to them occasionally. For me, a great time is a Sunday night when  I can’t get all the cylinders in my brain working.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Emoji Mayhem


cjones08132017

Rex Tillerson should not be Secretary of State, but the man is an adult. A child doesn’t have angry eyebrows like that.

The man has negotiated million and billion dollar deals with dictators as the head of Exxon. He’s bought houses. He went to college. He probably knows how to drive a car. Being that he’s a Trump guy, MAYBE he pays taxes. He’s a father of four so at some point he probably changed a crappy diaper once. Then, those kids get older and you don’t have to change shitty diapers anymore and you even do the happy dance when they graduate to pull-ups. I did.

Then you find yourself at 65 years of age cleaning up shit after a shitty orange baby shits all over the place. He has to ask himself, how did he get back here? Like Danny Glover, he probably thinks he’s too old for this shit. But here he is changing diapers. It’s the same deal for H.R. McMaster, John Kelly, and James Mattis. Those are the only adults in the Trump administration. The rest are children running with scissors.

After Donald Trump had the mouth runs as a response to North Korea threatening the United States, Rex found himself trying to clean it up. Even Mr. Clean doesn’t want anything to do with this mess. That bald cartoon fucker has left town.

Trump said, “North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.” In response to this dire and scary warning that seems inspired by a direct-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie, North Korea promptly threatened us again, and with greater detail. They’re threatening to bomb Guam. That really has to suck for Guam, because as a U.S. territory they can’t vote for president, so Trump isn’t even their fault. They’re probably reading the news and thinking “aw fuck sticks.”

Tillerson attempted to calm everyone down by bullshitting, er…I mean, assuring us that, “Americans should sleep well at night.” The man is literally trying to tuck us in. Never mind that orange stupid twister outside. I’m sure it’ll miss this trailer park. Sweet dreams. We might as well all eat cake, pizza, and ice cream right before bed tonight. It’s not gonna make a difference tomorrow (for some of you that means “bourbon and cigarettes”).

Tillerson also said, “I think what the President was doing was sending a strong message to North Korea in language that Kim Jong Un would understand, because he doesn’t seem to understand diplomatic language.” The man is trying to explain away the rant of an immature baby while admitting the president’s “language” was not diplomatic. Hey, we haven’t tried imbecilic nonsense with North Korea, so lets’ see if that works.

“Hey, North Korea. I’m rubber, you’re glue. dot. dot. dot. dot. Fire and fury. dot. dot. dot. I’m great. Did you see my win in Michigan? dot. dot. dot. Fire and fury.”

Damn, I miss George Bush.

Trump tweeted, “there will never be a time that we are not the most powerful nation in the world!”. The man is literally talking like Kim Jong Un. I’m surprised it wasn’t delivered in Korean. Sebastian Gorka, a very angry Trump adviser running with scissors, went on Fox News and said, “we were a superpower, we are now a hyperpower.” Mmmmmkay. Isn’t it bad enough we have Trump making dumb statements? He doesn’t need any help.

That was almost as stupid as Stephen Miller’s statement, that Trump is the “most gifted politician of our time, and he’s the best orator to hold that office in generations.” Hide the scissors from that guy. On second thought, let him run.

On that note, Trump also tweeted, “my first order as President was to renovate and modernize our nuclear arsenal. It is now far stronger and more powerful than ever before….” Uh, I’m sure this is some stupid bullshit his sycophants will believe, but anyone with half a brain knows Donald Trump has not done shit to change our nuclear arsenal in the past six months. Not for better, not for worse, no change at all. It’s just a stupid, imbecilic, idiotic comment from the president of the United States. The man has taken credit for the economy, job rate, stock market, and the decrease in border crossings, all leftover from Obama’s watch. So, he probably read a brief, or had it read to him on how many nuclear weapons we have, and believes we acquired it last January.

It’s no wonder seven out of ten Americans can’t believe anything that comes from the president or the White House. Kim Jong Un doesn’t believe him either, which is why he crossed Trump’s red line and issued, not just another threat, a greater threat. A very specific threat.

I’ll be sleeping under my bed.

Creative notes: Much like the Angry Birds movie, I will not be seeing The Emoji Movie. Has Hollywood totally run out of ideas? But, I do hope this idea hasn’t already been used by another cartoonists.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.