Friday was a busy day for sex crimes.
A federal judge ruled that Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta and other federal prosecutors acted illegally in making a plea deal with accused child sexual abuser and billionaire Jeffrey Epstein before speaking with his victims.
Then-U.S. Attorney Acosta failed to charge Epstein under federal trafficking laws, which could have put Epstein away for life. Instead, he pleaded guilty to far lesser prostitution-related charges and served only 13 months in a private wing of a county jail but was able to leave 6 days a week for 12 hours at a time. Donald Trump responded, “That seems like a long time ago.”
In Chicago, where the police have been busy, singer R. Kelly turned himself in after being indicted on four sexual abuse charges, three of those involving minors.
In Florida, the owner of Super Bowl champions, the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, was charged with solicitation of prostitution in Jupiter, Florida. His arrest was connected to an investigation of several massage parlors in Florida suspected of involvement in human trafficking. Insert your deflated balls jokes now.
A spokesman for Kraft said, “We categorically deny that Mr. Kraft engaged in any illegal activity,” despite police saying he was videotaped on two separate occasions engaging in a sex act with an employee at Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter. Trump said it was very sad but wanted to point out that Kraft has denied it.
Trump complains publicly when championship teams refuse to visit the White House and eat his hamberders, but he may encourage Kraft to stay home. Trump would rather be seen with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un than the owner of the NFL champions.
In a case where nobody was abusing women (except for the company who made the shoe), Nike’s stock dropped after one of their shoes exploded live on primetime television while being worn by Duke’s Zion Williamson, injuring his knee.
This is going to be a very bad weekend for anyone wearing Nikes with a Tom Brady jersey while singing “I believe I can fly.”
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