National Rifle Association

Jump In This


cjones06222016

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Advertisements

Is That An Alligator In Your Pocket?


cjones06172016

I know. Go ahead and give it to me. This is very insensitive and has poor timing. I’m not good with sensitive or sacred cows…or in this case, reptiles. At least I didn’t go with my first heartless idea which consisted of an alligator eating Mickey Mouse. Pissing off the NRA, Trump, and Republicans I’m good with. Disney on the other hand….ugh.

If there was a huge money-making alligator industry and rednecks used them to overcompensate for their tiny penises, there would be a trade organization buying off congressmen to make sure anyone could buy an alligator at any time.

Right now the Democrats in the U.S. Senate are conducting a filibuster to force the Republicans to schedule a vote on gun control. This has totally stopped all Senate business….which means it’s pretty much like any day in the Senate.

Republicans HATE to talk about gun control. The only issue they hate talking about more is Donald Trump. If you really wanna flummox a GOP office holder, ask him about Trump’s revolving position on guns.

Creative note: I’ve had a theme with alligators the past few days. Last week I drew Donald Trump with alligator arms (played that off a Geico commercial). Today I drew a commissioned cartoon with crocodiles for a brand new client that’s based outside the United States (Claytoonz is going international. You’ll see it Friday). Now today I drew this. I can’t help it. I like reptiles.

I really like reptiles. I once worked in the reptile house of a small zoo in northeast Louisiana in the late 1980’s. My favorite story from that brief adventure comes from the day we cleaned the alligator pool. I didn’t do any actual cleaning but it was my job to keep the gators and Alligator Snapping Turtles away from the cleaners. I was armed only with a stick. There were five gators in the tank. They were all under six feet long except for this one mother. Before we could drain the pool we had to get one gator out which we did with a lasso. That took several hours. Some genius designed the pool where the drain was in the deep end and had to be manually unplugged. Nobody likes diving with alligators.

The alligators cooperated for the most part. The turtles, not so much. In fact, the turtles concerned me a lot more than the gators.

A large chunk of my childhood was spent in Louisiana. When I was a kid my older sister and I swam in a bayou with them. As a teenager my buddies and I swam in the same water. We never had an issue. When I was around ten or eleven we actually had two pet baby alligators, which was and still is illegal. I didn’t know that at the time and thankfully, the statute of limitations has long passed. We only had them for about a week. They weren’t as cuddly as we thought they might be. I got bit a lot. They never bit my sister once.

I do feel really bad for the parents who lost a child this week in Orlando to an alligator attack. That city had one tragic week. Losing a child under any circumstance is a horrible thing to live with. I know. It’s something I’ve been very close to. I’m sure Disney will never make this family wait in line for Pirates Of The Caribbean ever again.

A lot of people are asking questions about the parents, just like when that Cincinnati gorilla thing happened. Thing is, things happen. This is a freak occurrence that’s a true tragedy. I don’t think there are any safety measures that can prevent something like this happening once in a million years, especially after you build tourist resorts on a swamp.

Before posting this I searched for hashtags and one of them is “Disney Gator” which sounds a lot happier than it really is.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Bang Bang Trump


cjones05212016

I drew this on my Samsung tablet. It’s a really cool tablet. I’m new to tablets and if you are too but thinking about purchasing one, email me and I’ll tell you the pros and cons of this one.

So I’m sitting at a bar drawing this and a girl sits next to me and she starts a conversation. Yay me. The conversation is going well…until. Until, she says “the one thing I can respect about Donald Trump is that he is so honest.” Buzz kill. Party over. Goodbye. I didn’t ask for her opinion. I didn’t initiate a political conversation in a bar. Even after she told me what she told me I didn’t disagree. I just let her go into the night. I don’t work with stupid.

Trump received the endorsement of the National Rifle Association. That explains a lot about the NRA’s legitimacy. On Friday Trump gave a speech at the annual gun nut convention. And like Trump does with every subject, he spent over an hour displaying to the NRA that he had no idea what he was talking about. He said Hillary Clinton wants to eliminate the 2nd Amendment, which is a lie. His sons love guns and know a lot about them. Terrorist are bad. That’s what he spent an hour on. Seriously. This is the same guy who was for a ban on assault weapons in 1999-2000. His surrogates say ignore that and look where he stand today. Yes, today when he’s pandering for endorsements.

The big question today is: which blows more smoke? Trump’s mouth or Trump’s ass?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Gun Baby


cjones02282016

The elected lunatics in Iowa want to arm children. Yeah, they think that’s a good idea. They’re actually passing legislation to that effect.

Last year 215 people were accidentally shot by children. Little Junior is a greater threat than ISIS.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Obama’s Tears


cjones01062016

I have more faith in a person who sheds tears over children killed by guns than for those who will mock him for it.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

A Petulant Child


cjones01052015

It’s on now. Finally, after seven years of Republicans and other assorted crazies warning us that Obama was coming after our guns (your guns actually. I don’t own any), it’s finally happening. Who’s crazy now? Well, the crazies are still crazy. The executive orders Obama is putting into action aren’t taking anyone’s guns away.

What the orders will do, or attempt to do, is kill the gun-show-loopholes and online purchases that allow people to buy guns without background checks, increase funding for mental health treatment, and staff for the FBI and ATF agents.

Chris Christie said the president is “acting like a petulant child.” Marco Rubio said it’s “a war on the Constitution.” Donald Trump said “Pretty soon you won’t be able to get guns.” Ted Cruz, not to be out-crazied by Trump, said “the president is once again going to abuse his power to try to seize our guns.” Ben Carson advised the public to hide their guns in the pyramids (I made that up). Carly Fiorina said “Go Hawkeyes and beat my alma mater Stanford.” (I didn’t make that up but she wasn’t talking about guns. She was merely pandering on a historic level).

One guy who’s not running for president, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, said the “President is at minimum subverting the legislative branch, and potentially overturning its will.”

All of those statements were said before the plan was revealed but after their checks cleared from the National Rifle Association.

In a response to the president’s order the Republican presidential candidates and members of Congress promised to buck the NRA and do all they can to prevent more senseless gun deaths, especially those of children. They promised to improve upon the president’s orders and pass effective sensible gun legislation to decrease gun violence and protect all American citizens. Nah! I made that up too.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Off The Blood Of Dead Children


cjones08042015

I was talking to a friend last week and he mentioned how he always respects opinions he disagrees with. I think that’s really big of him. I don’t.

If your opinion is supported by lies, and the truth has been published repeatedly, yet you still cling to the lie then I don’t feel any responsibility to have to respect your choice to be an ignorant dumbass.

Planned Parenthood has been attacked a lot lately. An anti-choice group keeps secretly video taping meetings with members of Planned Parenthood, then they distribute heavily edited copies of the videos. Today nutjobs believe Planned Parenthood is selling dead baby body parts and making a huge profit from it. No they are not. They’re not even selling body parts.

Members of Congress are now using these lies in an attempt to take funding away from Planned Parenthood.

Here are some facts anti-choice fanatics don’t want to know, believe or they just stick their fingers in their ears when it’s brought up and sing “la-la-la-la-Jesus-la-la-la-la:”

Federal money does not pay for abortions. Abortions only account for 3% of what Planned Parenthood does. Because of Planned Parenthood there are fewer abortions. Planned Parenthood mostly works to keep people, especially teenagers, from unwanted pregnancies. Any tissue from an abortion that is used for medical science has to be donated by the patient. Planned Parenthood does not make money on this. La-la-la-la-Jesus-la-la-la-la.

Here’s where conservatives are hypocrites:

They’re all about privacy unless the organization being videotaped is a liberal group. They’re all about privacy unless it’s a woman’s body. They’re all about a child unless it’s actually born and then they fight against feeding and educating that child. They don’t want anyone to get an abortion but they don’t want sex education in schools telling kids what exactly makes them pregnant.

Trust me on the fact there are people out there that aren’t sure what causes pregnancy. Some people are that stupid. Did you know there is a recall of single cheese slices right now because some idiots are eating the plastic? I gave an unwrapped slice to my Beagle yesterday to see if he was smart enough to remove the plastic and guess what. He removed the plastic. If there are people out there who don’t know how to unwrap a slice of cheese then there are those who don’t know how to wrap a penis.

So yeah, there’s a lot of people out there I don’t feel the need to respect. If you have read about the facts on Planned Parenthood and you continue to spread the lies (I’m looking at you nutjob conservative cartoonists), then you’re not just a liar, you’re an unethical, despicable Santorum. Yeah, go Google another definition for “Santorum.” You’re gonna love it.

And you should probably stop eating cheese.