Police in Beech Grove, Indiana were called when a toddler was seen in the hallway of an apartment building with a gun. The cops were called by a neighbor who reported that the toddler came to her door and pointed the gun at her son, who quickly shut the door and told his mom, “Baby with a gun.”
The caller looked through the peephole and saw the kid with the weapon, saying, “He was just kind of holding it behind his back, and I thought…like that’s a real gun. I sell guns for a living, so I know what a gun looks like.”
The purported father of Baby Bang-Bang, Shane Osborn, told police there wasn’t a gun in the house. He also said he was feeling ill and taking a nap when the toddler went outside the apartment and that he wasn’t aware of what was going on. Reportedly, the toddler was left with its so-called father because its primary babysitter wasn’t feeling well either.
Even before we get to the gun, it’s extremely negligent to allow the toddler to go outside alone. It’s negligent to take a nap or be in any situation where you don’t know the location of the kid. I have a pet peeve about men who act like it’s a burden to watch their own kids. This guy is trying to claim it’s not his fault because he was sleeping and that he didn’t know there was a gun in the house. This pisses me off, like fathers who say they’re babysitting when left alone with their own kids. You don’t babysit your own kids. You parent your kids. It’s your job to take care of your children just as much as it’s the mother’s.
Back to the gun: The guy said there wasn’t a gun in the house but allowed the cops to search. They didn’t find a gun. but before the cops left, a neighbor showed them surveillance footage of the baby running around with the gun. They went back inside and one of the cops asked the child “where he put his ‘pew pew.” The kid pointed to a roll-top desk where they found the gun…which was fully loaded with 15 bullets in the magazine. Fortunately, there wasn’t a bullet in the chamber.
The “father” said the gun must belong to his cousin, who drops the gun off every now and then when he feels like he might want to shoot himself. My Beagle-Panty story is more believable than that (and that really happened).
Shane Osborn was arrested for neglect, which was aired on the Reelz TV show, “On Patrol: Live.” I didn’t know that was a thing.
Last week in Newport News, Virginia, a six-year-old elementary student took a handgun to school and intentionally shot his teacher. The teacher survived but is in critical condition. The gun was purchased legally by the kid’s mom, but she was negligent in its storage.
I haven’t heard if mom is facing any legal charges yet. This is Virginia where we have very blue cities but enough yee-haw fuckers and gun humpers to keep this state purple.
School officials actually received a tip that the kid had brought a gun to school, searched the kid’s backpack, and didn’t find the gun despite the fact it was in the backpack. Maybe they were Republicans and didn’t want to take the gun away from the six-year-old.
Democrats in Virginia’s General Assembly have crafted a bill that if passed (it won’t because we have a yee-haw governor) that would require anyone who owns a gun in a home where a minor is present to store the gun unloaded and in a locked container or cabinet, and to store all ammunition in a separate locked container.
Naturally, the gun nuts protest. Philip VanGunHumper Van Cleave, the president of the Virginia Citizens Defense League and Gun Fuckers, said, “wah.” He’s worried that a law requiring you to store your gun separately, and in a locked container if you have children won’t protect you “if the back door is kicked in” by bears or pirates.
Gun nuts love their guns more than love their kids. If that’s not true, then we would have stopped school shootings after Sandy Hook, but this nation decided it could live with children murdered in gun violencemore easily than it can live without our gun fetish. Republicans chose guns over kids.
What these gun parents should have said is that they gave the kids guns, the toddler, the six-year-year-old, so they can protect themselves from Antifa and Black Lives Matter. It worked before.
Kyle Rittenhouse wasn’t old enough to own the gun on his person when he drove from Illinois to Wisconsin to protect himself from Antifa and Black Lives Matter in Kenosha. This little fuck drove across state lines in order to protect himself, and shot three people, killing two.
Kyle had to cry and blubber on the stand but his defense worked, and he got off. Today, he’s a frequent guest at Mar-a-Lago and making a living doing photo-ops at yee-haw rallies and fucknut conventions. Meanwhile, two of the people he drove 90 miles to protect himself from are dead.
The gun hero thing is the same with the mustard-stain couple who ran outside barefoot with assault weapons after seeing black people walking on the sidewalk in front of their house in their gated St. Louis neighborhood. They got a speaking slot at Trump’s 2020 Republican National Convention out of that incident and are celebrated as conservative heroes for pointing guns at black people.
Here’s a fact that will make your right-wing uncle say, “but, but, but…” Guns are the number one cause of death for children ages 1-19 in the United States. Only in the USA though. In Canada, more kids are killed every year by moose stompings than by guns. We have a problem in this country…actually two.
The first problem is our gun fetish supported by the National Rifle Association and Republicans. The second problem is, how do we make the NRA and Republicans available for moose stompings?
Music note: I listened to Led Zeppelin.
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