MyPillow Guy

Reinstatement Buddies


Cjones06202021

Is Benjamin Netanyahu smarter than Donald Trump? While he likes to dish out the occasional conspiracy theory, I seriously doubt he’s dumb enough to use Trump’s lawyers and advisers.

Bibi and Trump are reinstatement buddies with both promising to return. A return to office is possible with both, though Trump will NOT be “reinstated,” and both have to get through a lot of legal troubles before they can mount any serious comebacks. For Trump, he can’t be taken seriously.

You can’t be taken seriously when your advisers, morons like Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and the MyPillow goon are spreading lies about Hugo Chavez meddling in the election, voting machines and Italian satellites changing votes, bamboo in ballots shipped from China, and the lies Trump won and can be reinstated.

Mike Lindell, the MyPillow idiot and former crackhead, swears Donald Trump is going to be reinstated. The only problem with that is, that’s not how our government operates. Do you know why none of the people who claim Trump will be reinstated, including Donald Trump, have explained how? Because there is no way a former president can be reinstated. A basic civics will teach you this. Nevertheless, nearly 30 percent of Republicans believe Trump will be reinstated.

It will also be hard to regain control of your nation’s highest office from prison. Here’s a fun fact: If Donald Trump goes to prison, he can still run for president from prison. It’s actually been done before. Can Bibi? I don’t know and unlike the Qnuts, I don’t just make shit up. I haven’t taken a course on Israeli civics.

What I do know is that both men, Trump and Netanyahu, are lying sacks of crap who are both corrupt. Now, neither of them can seek asylum in the other’s nation to avoid prosecution. For both men, there’s always Russia, if Putin will have them. They would both have to bring a lot of cash.

Bibi’s trial starts in July. While Trump expects to be reinstated in August, I’m hoping to see criminal charges brought against him in that month.

Israel is moving forward without Bibi, who has served as prime minister for a total of 15 years (two terms). The United States is moving forward without Trump….well, most of us. Both men have been obstructions for peace. Now, maybe these two hateful zealots can spend more time together, perhaps playing golf at Mar-a-Lago with lots of alligator hazards.

Watch out, Bibi…Trump will steal your balls.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

MyManiac


cjones02072021

What happened to the Republican Party? They used to claim they were the party of personal responsibility. Now, not so much. It was just two years ago they couldn’t stand to let a member occupy a seat on committees who expressed support for white supremacy. Now? They’ll fight to defend a bigot who believes in crazy conspiracy theories and “liked” calls to murder Congressional Democrats.

Yesterday, freshman Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene defended herself before the House and said she didn’t believe in the crazy stuff she used to peddle. The way she phrased it was, she was “allowed” to believe the Qanon conspiracy.

First off, the Qanon cult is based on the belief there’s a deep state controlling our government of Satanic-worshipping blood-drinking pedophiles, and they’re all Democrats. Their membership consists of politicians and movie stars.

And yesterday, the party of personal responsibility looked the other way when Marjorie Taylor Greene said she was “allowed” to believe so much bullshit. Allowed? As in it’s not her fault? She’s an adult and a member of the United States House of Representatives, not a baby whose parents allowed her to stick forks into electrical outlets.

If I buy into the beleif that all Republicans are troglodyte racists who support terrorists and a president who wants to date his daughter…wait, bad example.

If I buy into the belief that all Republicans are incapable to get humor, sarcasm, and irony…sorry. Another bad example.

If I buy into the belief that all Republicans are greedy and corrupt… Shit.

I got it. If I buy into the belief that all Republicans are ugly (eh), it’s not the fault of the person who sold me that belief. It would be my fault. I’m an adult. I’m capable of looking shit up. There’s probably a Republican somewhere who’s not totally hideous or CHUD-like (C.H.U.D.s. Look it up). Marjorie Taylor Greene is an adult. She has the internet, right? She can use Google. She chose to chase conspiracy theories, and even worse, spread them to other stupid, dumbass hillbilly fucknuts.

Yesterday, Marjorie tried to convince us she’s not responsible for believing shit like pizzagate, the conspiracy theory that Democrats were operating a child-sex ring from the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizza parlor. And she stood on the floor and said 9/11 and school shootings did actually happen. For this, she was praised.

How insane is it that a member of Congress had to say they believed 9/11 and school shootings have happened? You know, I believe the Earth isn’t flat. Give me a medal.

You know what Marjorie Taylor Greene didn’t say?

She didn’t say that a plane flew into the Pentagon which is something she expressed doubt about in the past. She didn’t say the Parkland school shooting happened, which she called a “false flag” operation and went on to stalk and harass survivor David Hogg. She didn’t even say she has stopped believing that Jewish space lasers financed by the Rothschilds were responsible for California wildfires. And, she didn’t say she was sorry.

Republicans claimed she said she was sorry behind closed doors. But when she addressed the entire House and the nation yesterday, she said she had “regrets,” but didn’t apologize. Instead, she blamed the media and Democrats. And the party that tried to cancel Liz Cheney blamed “cancel culture.”

The biggest thing Greene didn’t apologize for or even bring up is her support of comments to murder Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other Democrats in the House.

Afterward, the House voted to remove Marjorie Taylor Greene from her committees, specifically the Education Committee. What sort of maniac puts a school shooting denialist and harasser and stalker of school shooting victims on the Education Committee? Kevin McCarthy, that’s who.

And 199 Republicans voted to keep that Qanon stalker on the Education Committee. Only 11 Republicans voted to remove her.

If this vote was confidential, would the GOP have removed her? The thing is, they’re afraid of upsetting the base. Marjorie Taylor Greene has raised an absurd amount of money on the Qanon lies. Minority Leader McCarthy went to Florida to grovel before the cult leader of Q, Donald Trump. The entire party is afraid of the terrorist-supporting base that is Qanon. The GOP is now the party of Qanon.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is not the only supporter and believer of lies and conspiracy theories in Congress. In the House, 147 Republicans voted against certifying the election which was based on the lie that it was stolen. It was the promotion of that lie that fueled the terrorist cult that attacked the U.S. Capitol.

And that’s another thing Greene didn’t mention, her belief in the big stolen election lie. And if you don’t think you fall down rabbit holes with conspiracy theorists and cultists yet believe in the stolen election lie, congratulations. You are Qanon.

The Republican Party is no longer the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Reagan, or even George W. Bush. They are now the party of Qanon. They’re the party of that fucking MyPillow Guy. And if runs for Congress, don’t act surprised.

The Republican Party voted yesterday to be the party of Q.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

MAGA Goons For Hire


cjones01222021

“I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.”

That was a Hedy Lamarr, sorry, That’s “Hedley,” quote from Blazing Saddles when he was seeking to hire goons to invade the town of Rock Ridge. And when he did hire those goons, which included Klansmen, he told them, “Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west.”

That kinda sounds like our guy, doesn’t it? Immediately after winning the election, President Barack Obama advised Trump, don’t hire Michael Flynn, a fired general who went on to appear on Russia state TV to help prop up Vladimir Putin’s regime, and then collected payment from Russia. What did Trump do? He hired Michael Flynn as his National Security Adviser. Flynn only lasted 23 days in the job and was immediately under investigation for goon-type stuff. Naturally, Flynn was pardoned by Trump after pleading guilty…twice.

Donald Trump and his goons embarked on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west…and everywhere else they could get their filthy hands on. It was four years of stupidity, lies, tearing the nation apart, insulting everyone who wasn’t a part of the hate agenda, supporting Klansmen, and defending Nazis. There was also that shit with Putin. We’re still trying to figure out what that was all about. And a lot of people enabled this shit.

In addition to Flynn, other goons who worked in the administration and campaign are Steve Bannon and Roger Stone, who are the gooniest of goons.

Donald Trump even hired his daughter and stupid entitled son-in-law as White House advisers. Now, with the exception of Staten Island, Ivanka and Skinny will not be welcomed back into the snooty New York City caviar-eating social network. They plan to move out of their Washington, D.C, mansion where they never let the Secret Service use the bathrooms, and move down to Florida with Donald. Ivanka is planning to challenge Florida Senator Marco Rubio. Hey, she can use his selling out his principles and dignity to Trump as her campaign strategy. See what Trump loyalty gets you? Marco never should have stopped making fun of Trump’s dick size.

What will life be like for other Trump goons? Will they all have resumes with their titles in huge letters but the administration they worked for typed in itty bitty tiny letters? Probably. They all don’t want to end up on Dancing with the Stars like Sean Spicer. Former spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders is looking to run for governor of Arkansas where she’ll probably do very well. But nobody else in the administration wants to move to Arkansas. While they feed and feed off the MAGAt base, they don’t want to actually be in the company of those people. You can’t really blame them for not wanting to hang out with brainwashed terrorists.

Even before Donald Trump engaged in sedition and sent terrorists to stage a bloody coup attempt, the job market looked tricky for Trump staffers. Now after the Capitol riots, even Trump is getting snubbed. The PGA withdrew a tournament from one of his shitty resorts and New York City has cut off all business with the Trump organization. Even the residents of Palm Beach, a city full of rich assholes and where Trump is planning to live his post-presidential life, doesn’t want him. Maybe Trump should look into building a secret compound behind a huge fence and not let anyone know who lives there, like bin Laden did. And at some point, helicopters will probably land to take him away, too.

Now we’re hearing that Trump staffers are having a hard time finding jobs. About the only thing really open for them will be gooning for other Republicans, as Trump is still popular with the GOP base…because the GOP likes terrorists.

A public relations recruiter was recently approached by 15 Trump staffers, taking on six, and so far, has been unable to get even one interview for any of them. And you can’t really blame employers because who wants to hire people who enabled terrorists?

One recruiter said about the MAGAt job seekers, “You’re supposed to put anyone in front of a job that has the credentials. Morally, it’s hard for people to want to work with them.” He also said, “They’re all very all about themselves with narcissistic attitudes, thinking any company in the country will want to hire me. I listened to one for about 20 minutes, and it was so much baloney, what he was spewing out to me.”

Dude, I’ve been listening to them for the past four years, and “baloney” is putting it kindly.

Some of the staffers are looking to work in the entertainment business while others want to be pundits on cable news shows, but Fox News can only hire so many goons and they’re already fully-stocked with liars and gaslighters as it is. And at some point, even Fox isn’t going to want to be associated with these people or put them on the air, and you can’t blame them. What network wants to regularly put defenders of terrorists on their programs?

One recruiter said, “We’re not taking people who have no credibility. Very few of them have real value beyond Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax.” Hilary Rosen, who is a vice chair of a public relations firm said, “None of them are going to be TV commentators anytime soon. They really have a scarlet letter, particularly the most visible ones.” She also said, “It’s not worth it to companies to bring on people with a bad reputation to represent the company in any way if it’s going to create employee revolt.”

And that’s part of it. In addition to losing credibility with your viewers and customers, hiring any of these people will make your current employees shout out, “This is bullshit,” and stage a revolt; of course, probably not like what we saw at the Capitol because most people aren’t terrorists.

Forbes editor Randall Lane wrote a column advising that companies think twice before hiring Trump’s former communication officials because they lied for him, which attributed to the terrorist attack at the Capitol.

Lane wrote, “As American democracy rebounds, we need to return to a standard of truth when it comes to how the government communicates with the governed. The easiest way to do that, from where I sit, is to create repercussions for those who don’t follow the civic norms. Trump’s lawyers lie gleefully to the press and public, but those lies, magically, almost never made it into briefs and arguments – contempt, perjury, and disbarment keep the professional standards high.”

Land stated that if a company did hire them, then Forbes Magazine will assume that company’s foundation is based on lies. He writes, “Don’t let the chronic liars cash in on their dishonesty.”

“Press secretaries like Joe Lockhart, Ari Fleischer, and Jay Carney, who left the White House with their reputations in various stages of intact, made millions taking their skills — and credibility — to corporate America. Trump’s liars don’t merit that same golden parachute. Let it be known to the business world: Hire any of Trump’s fellow fabulists above, and Forbes will assume that everything your company or firm talks about is a lie.”

Lane also told potential employers to these goons, “Want to ensure the world’s biggest business media brand approaches you as a potential funnel of disinformation? Then hire away.”

Trump goons will hope time will erase just what a disaster the Trump administration was…and just how fucking horrible it left the country. One way to do that is to gaslight. It’s already begun.

Former adviser Kellyann Conway, whose own daughter doesn’t trust the shit that comes out of her mouth, was on Bill Maher’s program, “Real Time,” and said, “You can’t deny that many people are better off.” As Maher pointed out, “Well, they’re not better off now, a lot of them are dead.”

Don’t let them do that. Don’t forget that Donald Trump left office right when the number of dead from the pandemic he ignored and played down hit 400,000. Don’t forget that when Trump left Washington, the capital was encased in barb wire being patrolled by over 25,000 National Guard troops to defend it from Trump terrorists.

Never forget this shit. Never forget the Trump disaster. Never forget the fuckers who helped the worst president in our nation’s history work to destroy our country. Never forget the people like Mike Lindell, that MyPillow asshole, who went to Washington in Trump’s last days to campaign for martial law. Never forget that after the terrorist attack, Donald Trump entertained more people inside the White House arguing for further coup attempts and terrorist attacks.

Don’t forget these people. Don’t forget what they did. Don’t watch their shows. Don’t buy their products. Don’t buy their bullshit. Don’t hire them.

And if you do hire these people, people like me won’t let it go. You know why? Because most Americans don’t like terrorists.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

MyTerrorist


cjones11252020

Remember when that underage terrorist twerp Kyle Rittenhouse went across state lines to shoot at people protesting for racial justice in Kenosha, Wisconsin and ended up killing two of them? He just made bail. You may be asking yourself, “How did an unemployed 16-year-old right-wing militia wannabe terrorist come up with $2 million for bail?”. You can thank the MyPillow guy and actor Ricky Schroder.

Rittenhouse’s lawyer tweeted, “KYLE RITTENHOUSE IS OUT OF JAIL! God bless ALL who donated to help #FightBack raise required $2M cash bail. Special thanks to Actor Ricky Schroder @rickyshroder1 & Mike Lindell @realMikeLindell for putting us over the top. Kyle is SAFE. Thanks to ALL who helped this boy.”

I know all this time you’ve been as concerned as I have about the safety of Kyle Motherfucking Rittenhouse. Oh, I hope jail treated him nicely. I hope the food wasn’t too horrible. I’m sure the pillow wasn’t as comfy as an $80 MyPillow…or from what I’ve gathered from online reviews…maybe it was.

Anyway, this underage terrorist who somehow illegally gained access to an assault rifle and killed people is out on bail and the child actor to thank, or blame, isn’t Chachi. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’at? Scott Baio’s stupid racist ass didn’t do it? Of course not. Chachi doesn’t have money. Have you seen him in anything lately? Fact: Scott Baio has had three sitcoms and I never watched one episode. I did watch Happy Days but that wasn’t HIS sitcom. And I know what you’re thinking. Scott Baio has had THREE sitcoms? I mean, he’s had as many TV shows as Matt LeBlanc who as far as I can tell, is NOT a Nazi.

In case you’re concerned that Ricky Schroder has gone over to the dark side…he only confirmed the information on…wait for it…Parler, the brand new online social media destination for racists and Qanon fucknuts claiming they’re leaving Facebook and Twitter because their conspiracy theories are being censored. Perhaps acting on Silver Spoons as a child left a permanent soft spot in Ricky for billionaire assholes. So what’s the MyPillow guy’s excuse? He’s a racist billionaire asshole. That’s not fair. Maybe he’s just a millionaire.

Mike Lindell overcame a crack problem and found Jesus. He also found Trump. What is it with born-again Christians being so supportive of anti-Jesus principles? Why are Christians so horny for racist policies that put brown babies in jail? Why are they so hot for policies that drug test welfare recipients, so if daddy did weed, his baby can’t eat? If you figure that one out, let me know.

I’m very supportive of Mike Lindell’s recovery from crack, but I think he’s still an addict. He’s addicted to orange Kool-Aid and like Chachi and Silver Spoons bastard who was in The Champ with MAGAt Jon Voight (I spent some time on Wikipedia this morning), he’s a cultist. And when Mike Lindell’s not pushing pillows full of bullshit, he’s pushing bullshit cures for the coronavirus. Lindell pushes treatment for Covid-19 that’s so stupid, only Ben Carson tries it.

People who go out and point guns at protesters are championed by Trump and his MAGAts. Case in point: Those scummy lawyers in St. Louis who were so threatened by Black Lives Matter protesters walking down their street, that that they interrupted margarita time to point guns at them…were championed at the Republican National Convention.

Make no mistake about it. Trump and MAGAts aren’t celebrating rich-asshole lawyers for wearing shirts with mustard stains. It’s the pointing guns at black people they like. Trump and Republicans encourage white domestic terrorism. Kyle Rittenhouse gained an automatic weapon illegally and crossed state lines to kill two people…and you haven’t heard one word from the president (sic) of the United States disavowing that. Donald Trump has actually argued that Rittenhouse was practicing self defense when he crossed state lines to kill people. I’m sure Ben Carson bought that bullshit.

Republicans argue that people should take up automatic weapons and defend their homes from black people walking in front of it, but Rittenhouse wasn’t even in his own state, less enough his “home.”

Kyle Rittenhouse, who was too young to possess an automatic weapon, took an automatic weapon across state lines, joined militia goobers in parading around Kenosha pretending to defend businesses, where not one person stopped to say, “Hey…is that kid old enough to be stomping around here with an automatic weapon?”. Instead, cops gave him bottles of water. Instead, after shooting people and walking toward police cars with his hands up, the cops drove past him. No worried that kid with a smoking automatic weapon…he’s white.

In contrast, cops shot Jacob Blake in the back four times (they shot seven times but missed with three of them), paralyzing him…after tasing him…twice. Oh yeah. Jacob Blake is black.

The shooting of Jacob Blake is what the protests were over in Kenosha. Estimates put the property damage at around…wait for it…$2 million. MyPillow and Silver Spoons could have helped the community out more by donating to rebuild it instead of giving that money to a domestic Trumper terrorist. But no. They would rather make a martyr out of a killer.

I think giving money to a terrorist fuck like Kyle Rittenhouse, who’s probably going to be found guilty of murder by a jury, is almost as much of a waste as spending $80 on a shitty pillow.

Either way, it’ll probably be hard to sleep at nights.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.