Moon

Orbiting Moons and Asteroids


Cjones06172021

Republican Louie Gohmert is a lunatic, but he’s not alone.

Gohmert recently caused a lot of people to laugh and mock him when he asked the nation’s forestry service if we can combat climate change by changing the orbits of the Earth and the Moon. His supporters are saying he was just joking and using it to make a point. No. He was not. He’s that stupid.

It’s like the time Donald Trump suggested we all inject disinfectants to fight the coronavirus. His supporters argue he never suggested we drink bleach but yet, the Trump’s White House said he was being “sarcastic.”

Louie Gohmert is no scientist. He’s not even a smart person. Like Donald Trump, he downplayed the coronavirus and eventually caught it. After he caught it, he blamed…wait for this…the wearing of face masks. He even banned people in his office from wearing face masks. He also endorsed Trump’s baseless claim of taking hydroxychloroquine to treat the virus and falsely claimed Germany had invented a mist that would kill it. Was he just kidding then?

Was Louie just kidding when he talked about “terror babies?” What are “terror babies?” It’s this theory Louie and others have that Muslim terrorists were impregnating women, sending them to the U.S. to have their babies, then they’d return home with the babies to raise them as terrorists. Later, the baby, all grown up now, would come to the U.S. as a citizen to commit terrorist attacks. Trust me on this: That’s a stupid plan. Kids never go into professions their parents want them to. Yeah, yeah, yeah…Dad wants me to bomb an embassy but what I really wanna do is busk “Smelly Cat” in Greenwich Village.

Maybe all those white nationalist MAGA goons storming the capitol were “terror babies.”

Louie also referred to Robert Mueller as an “anal opening,” pushed the debunked conspiracy theory that George Soros aided Nazis (when he was a child) to kill his fellow Jews and confiscate their property, endorsed the Big Lie that Trump won the election, endorsed Texas’ lawsuit against Pennsylvania to decertify their electoral votes for President Biden, and even sued Mike Pence to stop him from certifying the Electoral College.

Would it surprise you to learn that Gohmert attends a church called “Green Acres?” I am not making that up but I bet I got the theme of “Green Acres” stuck in your head. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm living is the life for me.

When Gohmert lost his lawsuit against Mike Pence, he said, “Basically, in effect, the ruling would be that you got to go to the streets and be as violent as Antifa and Black Lives Matter.” Louie later criticized the terrorist attack on the Capitol, I guess not realizing people would actually do what he encouraged them to do. Also, never mind that Antifa and BLM never attempted a bloody coup.

Later, Louie said most of the people involved in the attack were “nonviolent peaceful Americans whose only crimes were supporting Donald Trump.” Earlier this month, he attended a conference full of Qanon fuckos and claimed leftists were a part of the violent mob of terrorists and it wasn’t so bad because this country has had worse attacks, like that Green Acres theme. Doo-doo-da-doo-doo. Doo! Doo!

If you’re attacked by a shark, then later you’re attacked by a bear, are you going to dismiss the one you thought wasn’t as serious? Yeah, I got bit by a shark, but that bear was a real motherfucker. Someone should ask Louie who would win a fight between a shark and a bear. It will occupy him for hours.

At that same event, Louie posed for photos with someone who claimed he was a part of that mob attacking the capitol. I don’t remember Washington politicians posing for pictures with the Taliban…well, except Ronald Reagan.

As I said, Louie is a lunatic but he’s not alone. While he’s talking about changing the orbits of the Earth and the Moon, the orbits he should think about changing are those of his and fellow Republicans around Trump’s ass.

A majority of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election. They are wrong. They have no evidence but just like with birtherism, it’s something they believe because they want to believe it.

House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy initially criticized Trump, then flew down to Mar-A-Lago to kiss his ass and apologize for rightly saying he was responsible for a terrorist attack. The party kicked Liz Cheney out of House leadership because she blamed Trump for the terrorist attack and refused to parrot the lie Trump won the election. Her replacement, Elaine Stefanik, assumed the orbital position around Trump’s ass and said he was the leader of the party. She then went to New Jersey for a photo with Trump.

Donald Trump lost the popular vote both times he ran for president. He lost the House and Senate for the party. He’s a drag nationally for Republican candidates but popular with the base. It’s not that Washington Republicans love Trump, but that they’re afraid of him. They voted against investigating the attack on the Capitol out of fear of angering Trump.

Washington Republicans are cowards, and many like Gohmert are idiots.

At least one of them acknowledged climate change is real, of course, while offering a nonsensical solution to it. Hey, it beats actually having to do anything to solve the problem, right? It was ridiculous and stupid to ask a forest service if they can change the orbits of the Earth and Moon. But, that may be more realistic and easier to do than getting Republicans like Gohmert to change their orbits around Donald Trump’s ass.

Republicans are all about the ass.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Butt Bulb


cjones05022020

This is a bonus cartoon I drew today. For some reason, bonus cartoons usually happen on Tuesdays.

Right when I thought of this idea, I cracked up laughing. If I can make myself laugh, hey. Of course, that could also mean I’m truly demented and been shut in too long. But, while sketching out the template for this, I realized we’re talking about two different types of bulbs.

When Donald Trump was talking about bulbs that make him look orange, he was talking about LED bulbs. When he was talking about bulbs helping fight the coronavirus, he was talking about UV bulbs. LED bulbs do have some UV but they’re not identified as UV bulbs. I thought this was still funny enough for me to say, “So what” and continue along with it. But I figured if one of the three people I bounced it off of said I shouldn’t do it, then I wouldn’t do it.

They all said go. One of them was horrified but she still said go.

Here’s another funny thing: I got an email this morning from one of my clients asking if I could do some cartoons that are not on Donald Trump.

During this pandemic, I’m offering my cartoon service for free to newspapers and other news outlets. Several are taking advantage of this with some even telling me they probably won’t become paid subscribers when this is over. That doesn’t bother me as it comes with the territory.

I received the email this morning after today’s Damn Yankees cartoon went out. The editor explained they’re in a red state and his readers can’t handle Trump cartoons. Those weren’t his exact words, but you get it. I do feel kinda bad if he can’t use any of my cartoons because there are so many on Trump. The next one’s probably going to be on Trump too.

I even got one email from a staffer of a different publication after his editor took me up on my offer. He wrote, “My editor will never use any of your cartoons. He’s a right-winger. This place sucks.”

I do want to make my clients happy. I do want to give them cartoons on a variety of subjects. I realize I draw a LOT of cartoons on Trump. And, I’m not really that fond of drawing Donald Trump. Also, it’s not that these editors are pro-Trump themselves. They tend to be editors of smaller papers in an industry that’s been struggling for over two decades. By the time I was leaving The Free Lance-Star in 2012, ANY reader complaint got a personal ass-kissing phone call from the editor. The editor who wrote me the email this morning is a really nice guy who I know isn’t a Trump sycophant. He’s looking out for his business. I don’t get mad at these editors and publishers. Another thing is, I can’t tell an editor I know his community better than him. I also can’t tell him to run my work despite it being a threat to his business and maybe even his own personal safety.

But here’s the thing, kids: I gave up a while back worrying about how often I draw Donald Trump. I have lost clients because of Trump and my being too liberal. I have editors reply to my solicitations with hostility. To my political cartoonist colleagues, have you ever been called a “libtard” by a newspaper editor? I have.

Last year, Canadian cartoonist Michael de Adder (who does incredible work), claimed he lost his contract with the Brunswick News, where he was their featured cartoonist for 17 years, because of a cartoon he drew on Donald Trump he never even submitted to that newspaper. While he received international attention for this, it’s really a lot more common than the press made it out to be…which they should be aware of because they’re the press. Dropped for a cartoon criticizing Donald Trump? Please. That’s a Wednesday for me.

I’ve had editors and other people tell me that I would have more clients if I was middle of the road or even a right-winger. I even had a few suggest I draw right-wing and left-wing cartoons. They don’t get it. While it’s true I would have more clients this is about me being me and as irreverent and weird as possible. It’s about being honest. It’s also about having fun. What’s the point of drawing boring political cartoons?

I was with Creators Syndicate for 12 years and they were great to me, but I didn’t make enough money to survive without a job (I had just been laid off). I decided to start my own syndicate and not share the money. But, while doing that I decided since I didn’t work for a newspaper anymore, I was going to do whatever the hell I wanted. I was going to have as much control over my work as possible. So, financial hits don’t dictate how I do my cartoons. I will lose money to keep my soul.

There are times where I decided to do something that’s not on Trump out of concern that I’ve done too many recently. It’s also a good break for me. But I’ve mostly stopped worrying about that. During this time, and I don’t just mean during the pandemic, covering this specific president (sic) is extremely important. My work will not be dictated by a bunch of readers afraid of reading real news. Why should I cater to an audience for whom racism is not a deal-breaker? Why should I worry about what people think who support such a vile president (sic)?

Anyway, what’s really funny is that after complaining that I draw too many Trump cartoons, they got this one.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Blue Moon Of Kentucky


cjones11102019

The night before the election in Kentucky, Donald Trump held one of his hate rallies in that state in support of Governor Matt Bevin and said, “If you lose, they will say Trump suffered the greatest defeat in the history of the world. You can’t let that happen to me, and you can’t let that happen to your incredible state.” Last night, Kentucky voters let that happen to him.

Don’t misread the results in Kentucky. Bevin was an extremely bad governor and highly controversial. One anonymous Republican was credited for saying last night that it’s “slightly worse in Kentucky to be an asshole than it is to be a liberal.” Democrat Andy Beshear had goodwill from his father’s tenure as governor, and he didn’t run on a liberal platform or against Trump. His campaign focused on Medicaid expansion. Republicans did win every statewide seat except the governor’s mansion.

But Bevin was a chaos candidate who wrapped himself around the chaos of Donald Trump and tried to nationalize his campaign as one on conservative grievances against the impeachment of Trump. Trump defended his support by giving himself credit for Bevin having a near loss instead of a massive one. The message here is: Invite Trump for a hate rally and you’ll only barely lose.

Trump will win Kentucky in 2020. But there are alarming signs for Republicans from last night. Mostly that the suburbs, which used to be solid Republican, are continuing to trend toward Democrats. And if being an asshole is worse than being a liberal in Kentucky, what does that spell for Trump and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2020? In case you’re a Republican and haven’t noticed, they’re both assholes.

Perhaps an even bigger loss for Republicans is what happened in my home state of Virginia last night. As predicted, Democrats won control of the state house and senate. With a Democratic governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general, Democrats get to rewrite congressional districts. Last night, they won in districts drawn by Republicans. It was also what they call an “off-off year” for an election, as neither presidential or gubernatorial candidates were on the ballot. Despite that, there was a strong voter turnout. For the GOP, Virginia is gone.

Virginia is the only state of the old south that voted against Donald Trump in 2016. It will again in 2020. The only other two states Democrats can compete for will be Florida and North Carolina. Sorry, Dems. Texas and Georgia aren’t there yet.

Republicans are hoping to use the impeachment of Donald Trump to rile up their base in 2020. But even in Kentucky, where Trump won by over 30% in 2016, the impeachment didn’t have an impact. It probably won’t have much sway in tighter states Trump won like Florida, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Ohio, and Michigan.

The blue moon of Kentucky shone last night. Hopefully, voters will “let it happen” to Trump again in 2020 and we’ll never have to see his orange moon again.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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One Small Step For Haters


cjones07222019

Yesterday, I heard white Republicans say they didn’t find anything remotely racist about Donald Trump’s “Go back where they came from” statement. Part of their defense was that they have black friends so they, like Trump, can’t be racist.

I propose a challenge for these non-racist white Republicans with “black friends.” Go up to one of your “black friends” and say, “Go back to where you came from.” Let me know how that works out. Let me know if they remain your friends. Let me know if you acquire any injuries and the hospital where you’ll be staying where I don’t send flowers.

Now, you may not find Trump’s comments racist, but federal law does. The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) has written specific rules to protect people from discrimination from racist assholes like Trump supporters. On its website (scroll to Harassment Based on National Origin), the commission says, “Examples of potentially unlawful conduct include insults, taunting, or ethnic epithets, such as making fun of a person’s foreign accent or comments like, ‘Go back to where you came from.’ whether made by supervisors or co-workers.”

Since members of Congress are Donald Trump’s coworkers, he broke the law by telling four of them to “go back where they came from.” Hmmm…since Trump’s tweetstorms are part of his official duty, maybe his racism is an impeachable offense. How ’bout that.

The United States House of Representatives also finds Trump’s comments racist. Yesterday, the House passed a resolution condemning Trump’s remarks as racist. Every Democrat, a diverse caucus, voted in favor. With the exception of four, the mostly white male Republican caucus voted against. Republicans in Congress, just like Trump cultists, support racism.

If you’re curious about which elected Republicans have publicly criticized Trump’s racist tweet, or done so while also attacking Trump’s Democratic ethnic female targets, have remained quiet, or have defended his racism, The Washington Post has created a handy graphic to keep track. My representative, Rob Wittman, voted in favor of Trump’s racism yet has remained silent on the issue.

At this point, if you’re still supporting Donald Trump, it’s not despite the racism, it’s because of the racism. Congratulations.

Some of my clients may be wishing that I’d move on from this subject and do something nice, maybe something on the 50th anniversary of the Apollo moon landing which is this weekend. But then again, most of my clients should know how I work by now. I don’t do a lot of nice cartoons. This is about as close as I can get to nice.

Honestly, I’m kinda getting tired of this subject too. But what can I do about it? The president is a racist. I’m not a Republican which means I can’t ignore it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Trumpanus


cjones06102019

And we thought it was bad that Trump doesn’t understand tariffs, but once again, the dumbest president in the history of presidents of any nation in any galaxy, made a tweet that left the rest of saying, “What the hell?

Donald Trump took to Twitter and scolded NASA for focusing on returning to the moon instead of Mars and stated that the moon is a part of Mars. Seriously.

My girlfriend told me about the tweet last night, shortly after it happened. I had to see it myself because it was so stupid, I thought we may be losing something in translation. I mean, Trump is stupid but there’s no way…yep. He said the moon is a part of Mars. I’m sorry I doubted you, Amanda. The lesson here is, never underestimate the stupidity of Donald Trump.

What was his point? He confused everyone with the tweet before he even got the “moon is Mars” stuff. He’s chiding NASA for focusing on going to the moon AFTER he increased their budget with the agenda of…wait for it…going to the moon.

On May 13, Trump tweeted, “We are going back to the moon.” Last March, NASA administrator Jim Bridenstine, who was appointed by Trump, announced plans to send US astronauts to the moon by 2024.” Last October, Mike Pence, a guy who’s been anal probing Trump with his face for the past two years said, “Our determination is to see Americans back on the moon in the very near future.”

So there’s a huge flip-flop on policy that’s giving NASA and Republicans whiplash. But, the moon is a part of Mars? Did Trump means the budget for going to the moon was the same as Mars…or a part of that budget…or does he believe the moon is actually a part of Mars?

In case you’re a Republican, the moon is much closer to Earth (that’s where we live) than Mars. Most scientists believe the moon was created from another planet slamming into Earth (a very long time, like before Jesus was playing with his pet dinosaurs). And, in case you’re a Trump supporter, the moon is NOT a part of Mars. The moon is 140 million miles from Mars.

Now, someone in the Trump administration who once had high ideals before he or she sold their soul, has to go before the press and argue that the president of the United States, the same one who believes we have invisible airplanes, does not believe the moon is a part of Mars.

Or, that person is going to have to convince the press, and easily Trump’s supporters who chant “space force,” that the moon is a part of Mars, and that the information has been concealed by the Deep State of Obama, Hillary Clinton, James Comey, and Robert Mueller for decades. While we’re at it, the moon landing was fake, the Earth is flat, chemtrails are a real thing, and Pluto is a dog and a planet, and somehow, Donald Trump is qualified to be president.

This is why aliens don’t come here.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.