Mickey Mouse

Cartoon Bully


Ron De Santis is a bully. Republicans LOVE bullies. It’s why they love Donald Trump so much. Republicans believe bullying people weaker than you is a sign of strength. It’s also why they love Putin. But, bullying is just like it was in school. The bullies are cowards. They only pick on whom they believe they can beat up.

Remember when Donald Trump tried to bully Nancy Pelosi? Remember him crawling up his own bunghole when they were in the same room together and then Pelosi walked out of the White House putting on her shades like a boss? Remember when Donald Trump shut down the government until Congress would fund his racist border wall? Remember when Pelosi kicked his ass so hard that he reopened the government and the great dealmaker walked away with less than he started with? Remember when he tried to bully Hillary Clinton at the debate and she called him “Putin’s puppet” and his only retort was that of a child, repeating her attack? Remember when the entire Republicans Party bullied Hillary Clinton on Benghazi, but she showed up for the hearing and answered questions for 11 hours without the GOP landing a finger on her?

Bullies eventually get what’s coming to them. Mickey Mouse is going to kick Ron DeSantis’ ass.

Republicans will believe that DeSantis beat up the mouse…while they’re paying higher taxes to cover the fees DeSantis and the Florida legislature saved Disney from paying. According to Florida law, the state has to pick up the tab on public debt before it can revoke a self-governing status as it did with Disney last week. The law doesn’t take effect for a year but if they don’t back down, dumbass DeSantis and the stupid Republican Party of Florida will cost the state’s taxpayers over a billion dollars. Remember when conservatives were supposed to be fiscal? They haven’t been fiscal since Eisenhower.

Obviously, Ron DeSantis isn’t actually doing anything to benefit Florida. All he’s doing is throwing red meat at the base. He’s lied and gaslighted over COVID, vaccines, and face masks. He’s bullied students for wearing face masks. He’s banning teachers from teaching kids about homosexuality and transgenders, a thing that’s not actually happening. He’s banned math books that he claims are anti-white (learn how to read the dog whistles). He’s even signed legislation making it legal to run over people protesting for Black Lives Matter. None of this helps Florida. What DeSantis is doing is building his profile to run for president. To do that, he’ll have to beat the fattest cartoon character of all time, Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is a cartoon. He’s fat and dumb like Homer. He paints himself like Crusty the Clown. His hair’s crazier than Marge Simpson’s. His fingers are tinier than Maggie Simpson’s. He’s as evil as Mr. Burns. And he eats more hamburgers than Wimpy while also wanting other people to pay for them (sorry, I lost The Simpons’ theme). He’s gropier than Pepe le Pew. And, he’s more racist than all those old Tom and Jerry cartoons (Mammy Two Shoes with her dice and straight razor). My biggest challenge with cartooning the guy was that he’s already a cartoon. Ron DeSantis is on his way to becoming one as well.

DeSantis became governor by joining the Trump cult. He promised his state he’d govern just as stupidly as Trump governed as president (sic). DeSantis kept his promise. In his campaign commercials, DeSantis was teaching his child how to “build the wall” with Legos. His message was: Vote for me. I’m a bad father teaching my child how to be a racist. Florida made him its governor.

As we’ve seen from Republicans, they’re worms. DeSantis used Trump to get what he wanted. Now that he has it, he’s going to turn on Trump. We have a few questions.

Who will attack who first? Trump will attack DeSantis as the governor becomes a larger threat. DeSantis will avoid going after Trump directly, then he’ll start to tip-toe around it until eventually, he opens fire and war is declared.

Who will voters choose? That depends on if you want the cult or the guy who was really effective with the stupid racist bullshit. Donald Trump never did build his wall. He never got Mexico to pay for it. He never truly got his ban on Muslims entering the nation. He never successfully “sent them back.” DeSantis has made it harder for black people to vote. He’s gerrymandered his state so Republicans may increase their congressional representation by at least four. DeSantis has enacted laws against gays, blacks, Hispanics, trans people, math books, COVID, and cartoon mice. He’s making Florida a place racists throughout the nation want to move to. Voters will see these as accomplishments. To dog whistle that you hate minorities is one thing. Putting the screws to them is another. DeSantis is more effective than Donald Trump. But, Donald Trump is a better salesman for the bullshit.

Who will win? Trump will be older and slower but he still has the base. DeSantis is probably quicker and lighter on his feet, though not by much. I believe DeSantis is smarter and more manipulative than Donald Trump, but he doesn’t have the gameshow host shine. DeSantis hasn’t spent the past 40 years marketing himself to stupid people. They’re both bullies and cowards so they may be afraid of each other once they’re in the same room. I want to hear your prediction and your reasonings for it.

Who do I predict to win? It’s hard to choose because it’ll be so much fun to see either one lose. Personally, I hope Trump wins as we know Biden can beat him as he’s already done it. I think DeSantis will be a much more difficult opponent because DeSantis can learn. Trump does not learn. I just hope that on the way to the general election, these two really beat the shit out of each other.

How much popcorn will we need for the fight? Lots. You may have to get one of those Amazon subscriptions for popcorn so you don’t even have to get out of your chair and it just keeps coming.

Music Note: B-52’s, but I never listen to “Love Shack.” I hate “Love Shack.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

DeSantis Death Disney


Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I’m sorry to have taken so long to blog this cartoon as it ran Sunday and it’s now Wednesday afternoon. But I have been busy. I have to pitch ideas for my next CNN cartoon tomorrow so let me go ahead and post this now.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Conspiracy Circle


In 2016, a right-wing goon from North Carolina shot a gun into a pizza parlor in Washington, D.C. His motivation was the belief a Satanic deep state cabal led by Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton was operating a child sex slave ring out of a basement of the restaurant. This was the beginning of the conspiracy theory cult Qanon.

Qanon believes Donald Trump was on a mission to uncover and destroy that Satanic cult of deep state Democrats engaged in pedophilia. Some Qanon followers believe Democrats either eat the babies or drink their blood. Others believe the deep state consists of reptilian people.

Qanon also believe Donald Trump was actually behind the Mueller investigation into his collusion with Russia, and that Mueller was actually working for Trump in a public ruse to to conceal he was actually going after Democratic pedophiles. Robert Mueller is a Republican after all. How all this worked is beyond me.

Of course, all that sounds crazy, right? No child sex trafficking ring was discovered at the pizza shop. There was no deep state. No lizard people. No members working at the shop who were a part of the Clinton presidential campaign. The shop didn’t even have a basement. So anyone who believes the Satanic Democratic deep state child sex trafficking conspiracy theory is just a deranged lunatic on the fringe, right? Personally, I believe the entire Republican Party consists of deranged lunatics.

For the past two years, these deranged lunatics have been gaslighting Dr. Anthony Fauci to the point they can’t even remember why it started. Dr. Anthony Fauci is the leading expert on viruses in this nation. He fought tirelessly against the pandemic, trying to save as many lives as possible. Dr. Anthony Fauci is a national hero.

As new information on the coronavirus came in throughout the pandemic, the strategies to fight it changed. When it started, we were advised not to wear face masks. The rules on face masks and social distancing changed. This made very angry stupid people claim the government was lying and that paranoia should trump science. Dr. Anthony Fauci was hindered throughout the pandemic by Donald Trump, who was suggesting we combat the virus with aquarium cleaner, horse dewormer, and bleach. Republicans were listening to morons like Jeff Rogan over scientists like Dr. Fauci. Republicans soon claimed it was Fauci shutting the nation down, canceling schools, and killing american jobs and businesses, even though Dr. Fauci has no power to do any any of these things. This is not a belief by the lunatic fringe. It’s a common perception among the GOP.

A poll conducted last February found that a quarter of Republicans (in case you’re one of them, a quarter is 25 percent) believe Satan-worshipping pedophiles running a global sex-trafficking operation control the U.S. government, media and financial institutions. A quarter of Republicans believe a storm is coming to sweep away the elites and restore the rightful leader of the country. And, a quarter of Republicans believe true American patriots may have to resort to violence in order to save the country.

This is not Qanon. This is the Republican Party. Additionally, 16 percent of all Americans, 44 million people, believe this shit.

While Qanon is only seen favorably by 16 percent of Republicans according to another poll taken earlier this month, nearly half of mainstream Republicans believe Democrats are engaged in child sex trafficking rings. And 30 percent of Republicans believe the top Democratic elites of the party are involved in child sex trafficking rings.

Ironically, Donald Trump is on tape eyeballing a little girl and talking about dating her in ten years. Donald Trump endorsed an accused pedophile for the United States Senate. Republicans in Tennessee are trying to eliminate age requirements for marriage so grown men can marry little girls. And it seems every time a politician is found guilty of a sex crime with a child, he’s a Republican. Fun fact: No Democratic Speaker of the House has ever been sent to prison for raping a child.

And in case you’re wondering, a majority of Republicans believe Donald Trump is the legitimate president of the United States.

This shit stems from Republicans gaslighting during the hearings to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court to Florida goon Governor Ron DeSantis canceling Disney. This morning, I saw a political cartoon at GoComics pushing the believe that Disney is full of “groomers.” This cartoon is being distributed by a major newspaper syndicate and it’s not based on any facts. This wasn’t a Ben Garrison cartoon. It’s mainstream conservatism.

I too believe we have to fight to save our nation. I don’t mean physically. I mean we have to fight against disinformation. I believe we don’t just fight the liars, but call out those who are giving them a platform, from syndicates to newspapers to social media platforms.

I have two predictions: The number of Republicans believe lies will continue to increase, and there will be another violent attack based on these lies.

Creative note: I have to be on a train this morning for two cartoon events in Washington over the next two days, so I started this cartoon around 9 PM last night. Being the stupid guy I am, I kept adding details and sitting back thinking about what I could add next. The next thing I know, it’s six hours later. I went to bed around 3 AM and woke at 6:30 AM. I had some really weird dreams in that short time period after googling so many images on Satanic ceremonies.

Music Note: I was watching the Nevalny thing on CNN and listened to an assortment of music, including songs by Counting Crows, Pink, and The Shins.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Goofy Kills Mickey


Republicans have learned they can do pretty much whatever they want. No matter how devious and corrupt their actions are, Republicans can do it plain and clear in the open and get away with it. Ron DeSantis has learned from Donald Trump that if you’re the leader of your party, which he is in Florida (for now), the rest of his party will follow. No questions asked.

Florida Republicans sent a map of new congressional districts for Governor (sic) DeSantis to sign. He rejected it and made his own, eliminating two districts with black voting majorities, despite the state receiving two additional seats after the last census. DeSantis’ new map doesn’t just eliminate two black congressional seats but adds four new Republican seats. Florida’s Republican legislature was OK with DeSantis throwing out their map for his, and quickly approved it. Now DeSantis is going to sign the legislation he created. This is fascism.

Now, they’re attacking Disney for criticizing their “Don’t say gay” bill that bans teachers from discussing gay issues or sexual identification in schools. Disney criticized the bill, because it’s stupid and bigoted, and declared it will cease donating to political campaigns in the state. In retaliation, DeSantis and Florida Republicans voted yesterday to eliminate Disney’s self-governing status.

Florida created a law in 1967 giving The Walt Disney Company governmental control over the land in and around its central Florida theme parks. The special-purpose district gave Disney the responsibility for providing municipal services like power, water, roads, and fire protection, but freed the company from dealing with legal red tape or paying taxes for services that benefited the broader public.

Florida gave this special designation to Disney in exchange for the company making the state the base of Disney World and attracting millions of tourists. In 1967, Florida needed Disney more than Disney needed Florida. But as we’ve all come to learn, Republicans are backstabbers.

A self-governing status isn’t a privilege just for Disney in Florida. There are over 200 of these corporate self-governing districts in the state, like The Villages.

The Villages is a corporate-owned retirement community with a population of 80,000 angry Republican-voting seniors. Remember that video of an old fuck in a golf cart wearing pro-Trump gear and screaming “white power” at Black Lives Matter protesters in 2020? That was in The Villages. Donald Trump, who is the only president to visit The Villages twice, tweeted the video thanking The Villages. Anyway, The Villages, where old white people scream racist chants, votes overwhelmingly Republican. The vote for Trump over Biden in 2020 was over 70 percent in The Villages. So, you don’t see Republicans eliminating The Villages’ self-governing status, which makes it clear their vote against Disney’s status isn’t because they’re against self-governing districts.

This vote is merely about revenge and being butthurt. It’s obvious, it’s clear, and it’s out in the open. The only way not to see how petty and vile this action really is is by refusing to see it. They’re voting against a corporation that just said they’re not going to give the party and its candidates money anymore. This is fascism. This is a cult.

Republicans are forgetting that Disney helped build Florida. Their punishment of Disney is punishing the state, but Republicans will cut off their nose to spite their face. And, they don’t think long term. Case in point: Taking away this self-governing district will leave a debt hanging for taxpayers in Orange and Osceola counties to pick up, perhaps to the tune of over $2,000 per household. Remember, Republicans are supposed to be the party that cuts taxes.

Republicans voted to eliminate the self-governing district before working out all the details. They’re leaving that job for the next legislative session. Ever buy something with payments you can’t afford but think, “I’m sure I’ll figure out how to make those payments…which start next month. But look how shiny my new toy is.” That’s what Florida Republicans just did. Hitting Disney is the shiny toy they couldn’t wait to hit and show their base what they’ve done. It’s so shiny.

I’m curious if Florida’s increasingly right-leaning MAGA voters are going to look at their next tax bill and say, “I’m happy to pay this because Disney is a bunch of groomers.” Will they believe the principles of attacking a company just because they pissed off one man, Ron DeSantis, is worth them each paying over $2,000? I really don’t know because Florida Republicans are stupid. I’m sure DeSantis will find a way to blame that bill on Democrats, Disney, and pedophiles.

The legislation killing Disney’s self-governing status doesn’t mention Disney. It only designates the special districts created before 1968. Of course, there was only one special self-governing district in Florida before 1968.

Sometimes doing the right thing is costly, like Disney taking a stand and speaking out against Republican homophobia. And other times, doing the wrong thing is very expensive. Except, it may not be expensive for Republicans…just the people who voted for them.

Music Note: While drawing today’s cartoon, I listened to the Four Seasons, Dion, Del Shannon, and The Drifters.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

A Mousey Reopening


CNN07122020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

There are multiple theories as to why Donald Trump and his band of fucknuts are pressuring schools to reopen.

One theory is they need kids in school for teachers to babysit so their parents can carry on the business of stimulating the economy by going back to work. Another theory is Donald Trump wants the appearance of things being back to normal so he can continue to bark that is and win reelection. The third theory is that they just want to kill you.

Those could all be true to some extent but one thing that is definitely true is Donald Trump doesn’t care about you or your children. If he did, he wouldn’t continue to lie about the pandemic while pushing for reopenings.

Representative Ayanna Pressley said she wouldn’t trust Education Secretary Betsy DeVos with a houseplant let alone her child.

Pressley tweeted at DeVos, who has zero experience working with public education and once said we need guns in schools for protection from bears, on the Trump administration’s plans to reopen saying, “You have no plan. Teachers, kids, and parents are fearing for their lives. You point to a private sector that has put profits over people and claimed the lives of thousands of essential workers. I wouldn’t trust you to care for a house plant let alone my child.”

It’s not entirely true the Trump administration has no plans for reopening schools. They are planning to withhold federal funding from schools if they don’t reopen. They are literally holding children hostage…again. The only thing is, they’re not putting your kids into cages. And maybe DeVos could manage to care for a plastic houseplant without killing it…maybe.

This administration has planned less for reopening schools than Disney World has for their reopening.

Disney World reopened in Florida on the same day the state hit a new record for coronavirus cases. Is nobody paying attention in Florida?

Disney’s plans include requiring face masks to be worn at all times, no character meet-and-greet (that can be a good thing if Goofy still freaks you out), fewer restaurants, employees dispensing hand sanitizer to each person getting on a ride, and no parades.

CNN business writer Alexis Benveniste wrote that Disney World’s reopening felt like the “beginning of a horror movie.”

That’s silly. The horror movie started four years ago.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

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You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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