Lock Him Up

Boo Hoo Hoo


cjones10312019

Trump and his supporters point to his MAGA hate rallies as proof of his popularity when arguing he’s going to win reelection in a landslide.

If you’re promoting an album and your tour sells out every arena, congratulations. You have a hit album. Though a venue may have 14,000 seats, the cities they’re in are typically bigger. You also have to account for people traveling to see you rock out with your jock out. While you may sell a lot of T-Shirts, it doesn’t mean you could be elected president.

And if you only go into rooms where people fawn over you, you might get the impression that you’re beloved in all rooms and everyone thinks you’re a stable genius. That’s like believing you’re a special boy because your mom thinks so. Oh, and in case you’re a Republican, the strippers don’t actually like you either.

Donald Trump doesn’t just hire advisers. He hires yes people. That is, people who say “yes.” These people don’t just praise his policies, they run to the media to tell us Donald Trump is a genius, which is what White House Press Secretary, Stephanie Grisham, who never holds a press conference, did this week. After the former chief of staff, John Kelly, said he warned Trump that if he hired a “yes” man to replace him, that he’d be impeached. Grisham said to the media that Kelly was “ill-equipped to work with the genius of our great president.” This is why Donald Trump thinks he’s a genius and totally oblivious to the fact he’s a dumbass. By the way, it’s hard to argue against Kelly’s comments while you’re literally getting impeached.

There was a news story this week that scientists taught rats how to drive little, tiny rat cars because it eases their stress, which is something I’m sure we’ve all been concerned about. While these rats are figuring out how to drive cars, Donald Trump can’t close an umbrella. Yes, he’s a genius.

But Donald Trump holds these hate rallies where women wear shirts asking him to grab them by the vagina. They eat up every word he says. They cheer and praise him. They repeat his three-syllable chants (in case you’re a Republican, “lock her up,” and “build the wall” are each three syllables. I’ll let you figure out “space force” for yourself. What do you mean, “what’s a syllable?”).

If Trump only talks to his paid yes sycophants, only attends hate rallies, only watches Fox News, and only talks to Lindsey Graham, he may not get the impression that over half the country despises him and thinks he’s an asshole. Maybe he should have talked to Graham back when the South Carolina senator thought he was a racist.

When Fox News published a poll that over half of eligible voters believe he should be impeached, he tweeted that their pollsters suck. I guess it never occurred to him that the pollsters may be right.

So, when Donald Trump visited the World Series Sunday night, he was probably expecting to be greeted with cheers. It was the first time he went out since the killing of al-Baghdadi. He took Lindsey and Matt Gaetz with him, but not his youngest son, because you’d rather take sycophantic buttpoodles to the World Series than your 13-year-old son. You don’t have to imagine his surprise when he was greeted with boos and “lock him up” chants.

Some people were upset about this. Fox News’ Dana Perino must be as clueless as Trump because she said, “I never thought he would get booed. I thought Americans won’t do that, Americans would cheer.” Hey, Dana. Most Americans don’t like Nazis. Go figure.

On the same show, Capri Cafaro was upset. She said, “Everybody has their First Amendment right to express themselves however they want, but I would say this, regardless of whether or not you agree with President Trump or not he is the President of the United States and this is the World Series.”

I don’t have a problem with this “president” getting booed at the World Series. If anything, they did him a favor. We should let him know he’s despised and repulses people who aren’t troglodytes. But the biggest reason I don’t have a problem with it is that he’s not presidential. He’s conducted himself in a manner before crowds that should be beneath a president. But, Donald Trump is beneath the presidency. Way beneath it. While Carafo argues, “he is the President of the United States,” I argue that he doesn’t want to be everyone’s president.

Donald Trump conducts hate rallies where he encourages people to chant “lock her up” and “send them back.” He inspires and condones hate at his rallies. He has literally told his people to physically assault the people there to protest. He deserves all the respect one should give a poo-flinging monkey, who could still probably close an umbrella. Booing Trump could be our new national past time.

Here’s the thing. Donald Trump has been heckling America. He’s been booing America. So, America, feel free to boo right back. And while you’re at it, lock him up.

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Lock Who Up?


cjones03302019

Donald Trump received help from the Russian government to win the presidency. He never turned it down or spoke out against it. He hid then lied about the details of Russia’s involvement. He attempted to secure a deal to build a hotel in Moscow during the campaign and lied about that. He’s spent the past two years giving deference to Vladimir Putin and denying Russian interference. He’s fired people for investigating his campaign’s involvement and has obstructed justice at every turn. He made an illegal campaign payment in the form of hush money to a porn star he slept with, which became public because of her lawyer, Michael Avenatti. So, who gets arrested three days after Robert Mueller turns in his report? Michael Avenatti.

The day after Donald Trump gives a rant about punishing his enemies who pursued his connections with Russia, Avenatti gets indicted in New York and Los Angeles within minutes of each other. He’s accused of attempting to extort tens of millions of dollars from Nike, and in L.A., he’s accused of misusing client’s funds and lying about his income to obtain millions of dollars in loans from a bank. Gee, who else has lied about their income to acquire loans from banks?

While Avenatti’s situation doesn’t have anything to do with the Russia investigation, it sure is a funky coincidence in timing.

It doesn’t seem that long ago that you couldn’t go 20 minutes without seeing Michael Avenatti. He was on TV more than Shaquille O’Neal. The guy must have been renting a place between Time Warner Center and 30 Rock. There were times he was on multiple news networks, often within the same hour, defending his client Stormy Daniels who claims to have slept with Donald Trump and was then paid weeks before the election by Michael Cohen to keep quiet about it.

Daniels fired Avenatti after her nondisclosure lawsuit was dismissed and a court threw out her defamation suit and ordered her to pay Trump $300,000. Daniels claims Avenatti filed the defamation suit and created a crowdfunding site for her legal defense without telling her.

During that same month, he was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence, which prosecutors declined to charge, and his law firm lost an appeal and was evicted for failing to pay more than $200,000 in rent.

During the Kavanaugh hearings, he represented a client who accused the judge of sexual assault but wouldn’t allow the media to corroborate her account. After Kavanaugh was confirmed, Democrats accused Avenatti of undermining more credible accusers in order for him to gain more media exposure. On top of all that, he was exploring a presidential bid as a Democrat.

It seems from all his shenanigans, he should run as a Republican.

Democrats are not going to miss or cry for Michael Avenatti, but they were hoping news of indictments would be landing on a different corrupt individual who’s starved for media attention. Avenatti is useless to them.

Democrats were hoping for steak and lobster and instead, they get the drive-thru at Arby’s.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Flynn Flam


cjones12042017

Donald Trump asked then FBI Director James Comey to drop the bureau’s investigation of former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. Trump did this because Flynn “is a good guy.” Trump did not want the investigation stopped because Flynn is a good guy. He wanted it ended because of what Flynn knows. Trump has asked Senators to end their investigations of Flynn also. Flynn might be the only person other than Vladimir Putin who Trump hasn’t derided or made an immature nickname for…yet.

Flynn was by Trump’s side through much of the campaign. After Trump secured the Republican nomination, he started receiving security briefings. Flynn attended these briefings which included details on Russia’s meddling in our election. During this time and after Trump won the presidency, Flynn was in secret talks with Russia trying to undermine current U.S. foreign policy.

Flynn was working as a lobbyist for the Turkish government while he was working on the Trump campaign and advocated for the U.S. government to expel a rebel cleric and enemy of the Turkish president. He lied about his involvement with Turkey on his foreign-agent disclosure forms.

Flynn also failed to report to the Defense Department’s inspector general’s office about his trip to Russia, where he sat next to Putin during a celebration for a Russian propaganda outlet. He also failed to report how much he was paid and later said in interviews that he didn’t know if he was paid.

When Trump first met President Obama at the White House, the legitimately-elected president told the one propped by Putin not to hire Flynn. Obama knew Flynn was compromised with Russia. Trump hired Flynn as his National Security Adviser anyway. Later, acting-Attorney General Sally Yates told the White House that Flynn was subject to blackmail from the Russians. Trump fired Yates.

Flynn lasted on the job for 24 days. Trump says he fired Flynn for lying to Vice President Mike Pence about his contacts with Russia, while also defending his contacts with Russia. He didn’t fire him for lying to Pence. Trump fired Flynn because The Washington Post found out about his lies. Firing Flynn, then asking for investigations to cease looking into Flynn, and firing the director of the FBI, is all part of Trump’s cover-up and obstruction of justice.

Flynn has now struck a plea bargain with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and he has pled guilty to lying to the FBI. Defenders of Trump claim this confession doesn’t have anything to do with Trump. They are overlooking why Mueller would agree to a deal with Flynn. The deal is made because Flynn is now cooperating with the Special Counsel’s office. Flynn was directed to talk to Russia by Jared Kushner and has said others on the transition team, headed by Pence, knew about the interactions.

Flynn can’t be explained away by the administration as a coffee boy or someone who didn’t have much of an impact with the campaign. As the expression goes, Flynn was “in like Flynn.” Flynn was by Trump’s side, speaking at rallies, attending strategy meetings and security briefings. Flynn was probably more involved and connected to Trump than anyone else not related to Trump.

Flynn violated the Logan Act, a federal law that imposes fines and/or imprisonment for unauthorized citizens who negotiate with foreign governments having a dispute with the United States. Flynn told Russia not to retaliate against the United States for enacting sanctions against them, and tried to get the Russians to vote or delay a vote against Israel. Nobody has ever been prosecuted for breaking this law, but we’re in a lot of new territory with the Trump administration. Flynn’s plea will likely keep him out of prison, and send others there instead.

Trump’s lawyer, Ty Cobb, referred to Flynn Friday as a former official of the Obama administration. That’s true, but Obama fired Flynn and told Trump not to hire him, proving that our previous president has a lot better judgement than our current one.

Flynn famously joined the crowd at the Republican National Convention in shouting “lock her up,” and stated, “if I did one tenth as she did,” referring to Hillary Clinton, “I would be in jail.” As Flynn left the courthouse Friday, a small crowd greeted him with “lock him up.” Being that Flynn is a Republican I am not sure he can appreciate the irony.

Trump’s administration is in a contest with those of Reagan and Nixon for which will have the most members indicted, charged, and sent to prison. I have my money on the Trump administration.

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