Lock Him Up

Lock Him Up

Donald Trump “truthed” that he’s going to be arrested on Tuesday. It’s Tuesday. As Ted Knight said in Caddyshack, “Well? We’re waiting.”

Republicans are in an uproar over the possibility Donald Trump will be indicted and arrested in Manhattan over the hush-money payment scheme to porn star Stormy Daniels. It didn’t work because we still found out about the “Yeti pubes.” They claim the statutes of limitations have passed in the case which is not true but is an admission of guilt. They claim the investigation is solely political since, as Trump puts it, he’s the “leading” candidate in the presidential race.

Trump claimed that Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg “has allowed violent crime to reach new heights in New York without any retribution” in order to prosecute Trump. Other Republicans have made the same claim, saying Bragg should focus on other crimes in New York…and then without an ounce of awareness promise to investigate Bragg.

Instead of focusing on the border, inflation, the economy, China, and making sure Matt Gaetz isn’t hitting on underage congressional pages, Republicans want to investigate another Trump investigation.

Republican Florida congressman and Goon Caucus member Byron Donalds was on CNN this morning complaining about Bragg not focusing on New York, defended Congress going after Bragg, and then talked about how FEMA hasn’t provided enough trailers to his district after the last hurricane. Maybe you worry more about FEMA trailers in Florida and less about prosecutions in New York.

Republicans are threatening and harassing the Manhattan DA before any charges have been announced. While calling Bragg’s investigation political, they promise to investigate Bragg, and again without any awareness, with Jim Gym Jordan leading the committee.

Republicans are screaming and howling that a presidential candidate can’t be prosecuted, investigated, indicted, arrested, etc…while forgetting that they’re the “lock her up” gang.

Have you ever been to a Trump rally? I have. Have you at least seen one on TV? They do love their chants at Trump rallies. There’s “space force,” “fire Fauci,” “drain the swamp,” “build the wall,” and the always popular and very racist “send her back,” but perhaps the most popular of the chants that don’t exceed three syllables is “lock her up.”

In 2016, attendees of MAGA rallies started the chant “lock her up” in regard to Hillary Clinton, who at the time was the leading presidential candidate. Hmm. That’s weird. Right now, Republicans are saying it’s a bad thing to try to arrest leading presidential candidates and political opponents.

Donald Trump never disavowed these “lock her up” chants. Usually, he just stood at the podium with that creepy smile on his face ike he had just spotted a ten-year-old in Trump Tower that he’d like to date in eight years, allowing the crowd to continue the chant.

In 2020, while he was president (sic), he said during one of these “lock her up” chants, “I agree with you 100 percent.”

Throughout his presidency (sic), Trump called for investigations, prosecutions, indictments, and arrests of political opponents. He claimed Hillary Clinton and President Obama committed “treason” for their parts in the Russia investigation (they had zero parts in it).

In 2020, he tweeted at his Attorney General William Barr to “arrest somebody,” and wondered aloud why President Obama, then-Democratic nominee Joe Biden, and Hillary Clinton hadn’t been imprisoned for launching a “coup” against his administration.

In the same 24-hour period, he tweeted, “Where are all of the arrests? Can you imagine if the roles were reversed? Long term sentences would have started two years ago. Shameful!”

And then he let loose a barrage of tweets in all caps, stating, “DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, THE BIGGEST OF ALL POLITICAL SCANDALS (IN HISTORY)!!! BIDEN, OBAMA AND CROOKED HILLARY LED THIS TREASONOUS PLOT!!! BIDEN SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO RUN – GOT CAUGHT!!!”

These tweets were sent right after Trump returned to the White House from Walter Reed Hospital where he was recovering from COVID, so he was probably pretty high on bleach, ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, Diet Coke, and Adderall.

Elise Stefanik has called Bragg’s investigation “unAmerican.” Rand Paul, missing the irony of accusing Bragg of arresting political opponents while calling for Bragg’s arrest.

Speaker Kevin McCarthy said a possible indictment would be “an outrageous abuse of power by a radical DA who lets violent criminals walk as he pursues political vengeance.”

Mike Pence said it was a “politically-charged environment in New York where the attorney general and other elected officials literally campaigned on a pledge to prosecute the former president.” But it’s not as politically charged as the riot at the Capitol on January 6, 2021, that was chanting, “Hang Mike Pence.” Again, only three syllables.

Tech investor, Republican presidential candidate, and guy you never heard of before until now Vivek Ramaswamy said he didn’t want to live in a country where “the party in power is able to use police force to arrest its political opposition.”

Lauren Boebert tweeted, “We’re witnessing the most obscene political witch-hunt in American history.” And then her son impregnated the witch.

Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted with a link to MTG merchandise, “George Soros puppet and Democrat activist Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg has declared us all Enemies of State by declaring war on MAGA.” But you too can proudly wear “Enemy of the State” panties.

Jim Gym Jordan said it was an “unprecedented abuse of prosecutorial authority.”

Matt Gaetz said to a young woman walking past him in a hallway, “Hey, are you 18 yet?”

George Santos said, “I never abused my office politically when I was the Manhattan DA.”

But if you can remember, the party in power in the House of Representatives in 2016 conducted the Benghazi hearings. They forced Hillary Clinton to testify during her campaign. Kevin McCarthy praised the hearings for hurting Clinton’s poll numbers.

None of the goons, not McCarthy, Stefanik, Donalds, Paul, Pence, MTG, Boebert, or Ramalamadingdong ever told Trump to stop tweeting to his Attorney General to arrest his political opponents. None of them called it “unAmerican.” Remember, all of these goons were A-OK with President (sic) Trump using taxpayer-funded military aid approved by Congress to extort the President of Ukraine to dig up dirt on his political opponent.

Attorney General (sic) Bill Barr did use the Justice Department to defend Trump and his goons and appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the Russia investigation, which has turned up diddly. So yeah, they did try to go after Trump’s political opponents. The problem was, they didn’t have anything on Trump’s political enemies. That’s the same problem they have today with the Bidens and all the claims of corruption and payments from China…they don’t have anything.

Republicans impeached President Bill Clinton for lying about oral sex but they want to sweep under the rug that Donald Trump paid hush money to a porn star to keep quiet about doing the wild thing in Vegas and that his ding-dong looks really really weird.

Republican outrage can’t be taken seriously. McCarthy says justice isn’t being applied evenly…and neither is his outrage.

If Democrats are actually using the law to go after political opponents, then Republicans are outraged that Democrats are acting like them.

If Republicans don’t want their candidates to be arrested, then stop making criminals your candidates.

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Boo Hoo Hoo

cjones10312019

Trump and his supporters point to his MAGA hate rallies as proof of his popularity when arguing he’s going to win reelection in a landslide.

If you’re promoting an album and your tour sells out every arena, congratulations. You have a hit album. Though a venue may have 14,000 seats, the cities they’re in are typically bigger. You also have to account for people traveling to see you rock out with your jock out. While you may sell a lot of T-Shirts, it doesn’t mean you could be elected president.

And if you only go into rooms where people fawn over you, you might get the impression that you’re beloved in all rooms and everyone thinks you’re a stable genius. That’s like believing you’re a special boy because your mom thinks so. Oh, and in case you’re a Republican, the strippers don’t actually like you either.

Donald Trump doesn’t just hire advisers. He hires yes people. That is, people who say “yes.” These people don’t just praise his policies, they run to the media to tell us Donald Trump is a genius, which is what White House Press Secretary, Stephanie Grisham, who never holds a press conference, did this week. After the former chief of staff, John Kelly, said he warned Trump that if he hired a “yes” man to replace him, that he’d be impeached. Grisham said to the media that Kelly was “ill-equipped to work with the genius of our great president.” This is why Donald Trump thinks he’s a genius and totally oblivious to the fact he’s a dumbass. By the way, it’s hard to argue against Kelly’s comments while you’re literally getting impeached.

There was a news story this week that scientists taught rats how to drive little, tiny rat cars because it eases their stress, which is something I’m sure we’ve all been concerned about. While these rats are figuring out how to drive cars, Donald Trump can’t close an umbrella. Yes, he’s a genius.

But Donald Trump holds these hate rallies where women wear shirts asking him to grab them by the vagina. They eat up every word he says. They cheer and praise him. They repeat his three-syllable chants (in case you’re a Republican, “lock her up,” and “build the wall” are each three syllables. I’ll let you figure out “space force” for yourself. What do you mean, “what’s a syllable?”).

If Trump only talks to his paid yes sycophants, only attends hate rallies, only watches Fox News, and only talks to Lindsey Graham, he may not get the impression that over half the country despises him and thinks he’s an asshole. Maybe he should have talked to Graham back when the South Carolina senator thought he was a racist.

When Fox News published a poll that over half of eligible voters believe he should be impeached, he tweeted that their pollsters suck. I guess it never occurred to him that the pollsters may be right.

So, when Donald Trump visited the World Series Sunday night, he was probably expecting to be greeted with cheers. It was the first time he went out since the killing of al-Baghdadi. He took Lindsey and Matt Gaetz with him, but not his youngest son, because you’d rather take sycophantic buttpoodles to the World Series than your 13-year-old son. You don’t have to imagine his surprise when he was greeted with boos and “lock him up” chants.

Some people were upset about this. Fox News’ Dana Perino must be as clueless as Trump because she said, “I never thought he would get booed. I thought Americans won’t do that, Americans would cheer.” Hey, Dana. Most Americans don’t like Nazis. Go figure.

On the same show, Capri Cafaro was upset. She said, “Everybody has their First Amendment right to express themselves however they want, but I would say this, regardless of whether or not you agree with President Trump or not he is the President of the United States and this is the World Series.”

I don’t have a problem with this “president” getting booed at the World Series. If anything, they did him a favor. We should let him know he’s despised and repulses people who aren’t troglodytes. But the biggest reason I don’t have a problem with it is that he’s not presidential. He’s conducted himself in a manner before crowds that should be beneath a president. But, Donald Trump is beneath the presidency. Way beneath it. While Carafo argues, “he is the President of the United States,” I argue that he doesn’t want to be everyone’s president.

Donald Trump conducts hate rallies where he encourages people to chant “lock her up” and “send them back.” He inspires and condones hate at his rallies. He has literally told his people to physically assault the people there to protest. He deserves all the respect one should give a poo-flinging monkey, who could still probably close an umbrella. Booing Trump could be our new national past time.

Here’s the thing. Donald Trump has been heckling America. He’s been booing America. So, America, feel free to boo right back. And while you’re at it, lock him up.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Lock Who Up?

cjones03302019

Donald Trump received help from the Russian government to win the presidency. He never turned it down or spoke out against it. He hid then lied about the details of Russia’s involvement. He attempted to secure a deal to build a hotel in Moscow during the campaign and lied about that. He’s spent the past two years giving deference to Vladimir Putin and denying Russian interference. He’s fired people for investigating his campaign’s involvement and has obstructed justice at every turn. He made an illegal campaign payment in the form of hush money to a porn star he slept with, which became public because of her lawyer, Michael Avenatti. So, who gets arrested three days after Robert Mueller turns in his report? Michael Avenatti.

The day after Donald Trump gives a rant about punishing his enemies who pursued his connections with Russia, Avenatti gets indicted in New York and Los Angeles within minutes of each other. He’s accused of attempting to extort tens of millions of dollars from Nike, and in L.A., he’s accused of misusing client’s funds and lying about his income to obtain millions of dollars in loans from a bank. Gee, who else has lied about their income to acquire loans from banks?

While Avenatti’s situation doesn’t have anything to do with the Russia investigation, it sure is a funky coincidence in timing.

It doesn’t seem that long ago that you couldn’t go 20 minutes without seeing Michael Avenatti. He was on TV more than Shaquille O’Neal. The guy must have been renting a place between Time Warner Center and 30 Rock. There were times he was on multiple news networks, often within the same hour, defending his client Stormy Daniels who claims to have slept with Donald Trump and was then paid weeks before the election by Michael Cohen to keep quiet about it.

Daniels fired Avenatti after her nondisclosure lawsuit was dismissed and a court threw out her defamation suit and ordered her to pay Trump $300,000. Daniels claims Avenatti filed the defamation suit and created a crowdfunding site for her legal defense without telling her.

During that same month, he was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence, which prosecutors declined to charge, and his law firm lost an appeal and was evicted for failing to pay more than $200,000 in rent.

During the Kavanaugh hearings, he represented a client who accused the judge of sexual assault but wouldn’t allow the media to corroborate her account. After Kavanaugh was confirmed, Democrats accused Avenatti of undermining more credible accusers in order for him to gain more media exposure. On top of all that, he was exploring a presidential bid as a Democrat.

It seems from all his shenanigans, he should run as a Republican.

Democrats are not going to miss or cry for Michael Avenatti, but they were hoping news of indictments would be landing on a different corrupt individual who’s starved for media attention. Avenatti is useless to them.

Democrats were hoping for steak and lobster and instead, they get the drive-thru at Arby’s.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Flynn Flam

cjones12042017

Donald Trump asked then FBI Director James Comey to drop the bureau’s investigation of former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. Trump did this because Flynn “is a good guy.” Trump did not want the investigation stopped because Flynn is a good guy. He wanted it ended because of what Flynn knows. Trump has asked Senators to end their investigations of Flynn also. Flynn might be the only person other than Vladimir Putin who Trump hasn’t derided or made an immature nickname for…yet.

Flynn was by Trump’s side through much of the campaign. After Trump secured the Republican nomination, he started receiving security briefings. Flynn attended these briefings which included details on Russia’s meddling in our election. During this time and after Trump won the presidency, Flynn was in secret talks with Russia trying to undermine current U.S. foreign policy.

Flynn was working as a lobbyist for the Turkish government while he was working on the Trump campaign and advocated for the U.S. government to expel a rebel cleric and enemy of the Turkish president. He lied about his involvement with Turkey on his foreign-agent disclosure forms.

Flynn also failed to report to the Defense Department’s inspector general’s office about his trip to Russia, where he sat next to Putin during a celebration for a Russian propaganda outlet. He also failed to report how much he was paid and later said in interviews that he didn’t know if he was paid.

When Trump first met President Obama at the White House, the legitimately-elected president told the one propped by Putin not to hire Flynn. Obama knew Flynn was compromised with Russia. Trump hired Flynn as his National Security Adviser anyway. Later, acting-Attorney General Sally Yates told the White House that Flynn was subject to blackmail from the Russians. Trump fired Yates.

Flynn lasted on the job for 24 days. Trump says he fired Flynn for lying to Vice President Mike Pence about his contacts with Russia, while also defending his contacts with Russia. He didn’t fire him for lying to Pence. Trump fired Flynn because The Washington Post found out about his lies. Firing Flynn, then asking for investigations to cease looking into Flynn, and firing the director of the FBI, is all part of Trump’s cover-up and obstruction of justice.

Flynn has now struck a plea bargain with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and he has pled guilty to lying to the FBI. Defenders of Trump claim this confession doesn’t have anything to do with Trump. They are overlooking why Mueller would agree to a deal with Flynn. The deal is made because Flynn is now cooperating with the Special Counsel’s office. Flynn was directed to talk to Russia by Jared Kushner and has said others on the transition team, headed by Pence, knew about the interactions.

Flynn can’t be explained away by the administration as a coffee boy or someone who didn’t have much of an impact with the campaign. As the expression goes, Flynn was “in like Flynn.” Flynn was by Trump’s side, speaking at rallies, attending strategy meetings and security briefings. Flynn was probably more involved and connected to Trump than anyone else not related to Trump.

Flynn violated the Logan Act, a federal law that imposes fines and/or imprisonment for unauthorized citizens who negotiate with foreign governments having a dispute with the United States. Flynn told Russia not to retaliate against the United States for enacting sanctions against them, and tried to get the Russians to vote or delay a vote against Israel. Nobody has ever been prosecuted for breaking this law, but we’re in a lot of new territory with the Trump administration. Flynn’s plea will likely keep him out of prison, and send others there instead.

Trump’s lawyer, Ty Cobb, referred to Flynn Friday as a former official of the Obama administration. That’s true, but Obama fired Flynn and told Trump not to hire him, proving that our previous president has a lot better judgement than our current one.

Flynn famously joined the crowd at the Republican National Convention in shouting “lock her up,” and stated, “if I did one tenth as she did,” referring to Hillary Clinton, “I would be in jail.” As Flynn left the courthouse Friday, a small crowd greeted him with “lock him up.” Being that Flynn is a Republican I am not sure he can appreciate the irony.

Trump’s administration is in a contest with those of Reagan and Nixon for which will have the most members indicted, charged, and sent to prison. I have my money on the Trump administration.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.