Liz Cheney

Gassy Republicans


Cjones05152021

While chomping on some two dollar street tacos last night at a nearby Mexican restaurant, I was thinking about the gas shortage. It’s the thing everyone is talking. A couple of guys near me and the bartender were talking about how bad the lines were getting here locally, despite the fact there really isn’t a gas shortage.

DarkSide, a brand new criminal gang from Russia that may be Eddie and the Cruisers or Darth Vader fans, conducted a ransomware hack into Colonial Pipeline, which flows nearly half the gasoline for the eastern United States. Immediately, people started freaking out and forming long lines at gas stations, filling tanks, cans, and even barrels (one photo circulated of someone putting extra gas into freezer bags).

Immediately, conservatives started blaming President Biden, comparing him to President Carter, and demanded that our nation have energy independence.

There was a supposed gas shortage in 1979 due to the Iranian Revolution. Gas prices shot up here in the United States despite the fact at the time, we only got five percent of our oil supply from Iran. We were exporting more oil in 1979 than importing (In case you’re a Republican, “export” is when you send out and “import” is when you bring it in). Global supplies only decreased by four percent. It’s funny Republicans are mentioning Jimmy Carter when talking about a 1970s gas shortage, because it also happened in 1973 (In case you’re a Republican, 1973 was in the 70s) when Richard Nixon, a Republican, was president. This was due to an embargo by OPEC, holding up oil imports to nations supportive of Israel in the Yom Kippur War. Because we did not have energy independence, we had long gas lines. Oil shot up from $3.00 a barrel to $12.00 a barrel. Today, oil is around $64.00 a barrel.

According to yokels on social media, gas went up ten cents a gallon at the pump yesterday. Let’s say your car can hold up to 13 gallons of gas. In case you’re a Republican, that would add up to $1.30 more than you would normally pay.

In 1990, oil prices shot up from $17.00 a barrel to $36.00 after Saddam Hussein invaded fellow OPEC member Kuwait. Oil production did decrease but we never had an actual shortage. Western oil companies should have sent Saddam thank-you cards and bouquets for that one. And while we didn’t actually run out of gas, the short spike in prices contributed to the recession that made George H.W. Bush a one-term president. Maybe Bill Clinton should have sent Saddam a bouquet.

Now it’s happening again. People are freaking out over this hack even though oil hasn’t been disrupted. There is no shortage and there is no decrease in the flow along the eastern seaboard. But people are rushing out to make gas 2021’s toilet paper.

If only we had energy independence. Oh, wait. We do. Don’t you Republicans remember praising Donald Trump for making us energy independent? That means we get most of our energy from ourselves. Even before we achieved independence from foreign nations, we received very little oil from the Middle East. Most of it came from Canada. But Donald Trump was taking credit for making us energy independent and the GOP was heaping praise on him for it. Only thing is, we achieved energy independence during the Obama administration. Whoops. But that’s OK. Republicans LOVE taking credit from a Democrat and giving it to a stupid racist Republican who can’t spell “energy independence.”

Hey, Republicans. Another good way to achieve energy independence would be to decrease our need for oil. We could always increase green energy and all start using electric cars. I know. You still think wind turbines freeze in Texas. But wouldn’t your monster truck look badass with a wind turbine mounted on the hood?

It’s also funny Republicans are blaming President Biden. While Obama was president, Republicans were critical of him because they thought he was slow cleaning up their economic mess. How many times did you hear, “Slowest recovery ever” from the Party of No? Then, Trump waddles into office, with help from Russia, and Republicans start talking about the “economic miracle” he inherited. Except, they never mentioned he inherited it. Then, Trump watched the economy tank from a pandemic he politicized.

Now, Republicans are blaming President Biden for Trump’s mess. They’re screaming about jobs and inflation, a situation that started under Trump. And they get to go after him for long gas lines from a hack inflicted by Donald Trump’s friends. Somebody should call Donald Trump and ask him if he sent the hackers…because he has a history of sending goons to attack the United States.

Republicans probably don’t have time to ask Donald Trump about sending more terrorists to attack our nation because they’re too busy destroying Liz Cheney for criticizing Donald Trump for sending terrorists to attack our nation.

There’s also irony in that Liz Cheney is being punished for taking a stand, stating the truth that the election wasn’t stolen, and the Republicans are doing it with a secret vote because they’re all too cowardly to take a public stand.

People, these gas lines will be gone next week. There is not a gas shortage. But, if you run out of gas, there is a real problem because there are fuckers out there stocking up for a shortage that doesn’t exist. How much are you willing to bet that the people hoarding gas, filling tanks, barrels, cans, and even Ziploc guy, are all Republicans?

Creative note: Last week, my first idea on Liz Cheney involved her being burned at the stake. Then I realized, other cartoonists would do that same idea. It’s kinda lame. And then, other cartoonists did the same idea. They also had her hanging on walls and walking planks. It’s why I don’t go with my first idea. Then last night, I thought this would turn the burning-at-the-stake idea on its head.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trumping Lincoln


CNN05092021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

The Republican Party is not the party of Lincoln anymore. It’s now the party of Trump. They’re not even the party of Teddy Roosevelt or Eisenhower anymore. Even the more conservative Reagan doesn’t fit today’s Republican Party. Even Richard Nixon isn’t corrupt and dishonest enough for today’s GOP.

My friend and a guy whose work I often criticize, Michael Ramirez, wrote a long, painfully-detailed column on Facebook explaining to his fans why he stands with the truth, why he refuses to carry the lie that Trump won the election, had it stolen from him, or that anyone but Trump supporters attacked our nation’s Capitol building. In the column, he writes how his party, the GOP, is on the right side of the issues and the majority of Americans are with them. He’s wrong.

Michael has been long recognized for how talented he is. He has two Pulitzer Prizes. He’s very intelligent and his column is extremely eloquent…as though he went to great lengths to be eloquent. But, no amount of brains is going to save you when you’re as hyper partisan as he is and you’re bullshitting your balls off (I am less eloquent).

If you have to explain your stance in not accepting a lie to your lying party, maybe you’re in the wrong party.

Mike swings from refusing to accept the Big Lie to using the Big Lie to justify voter suppression laws. He wrote, “We don’t need to lie or deceive ourselves to win” and follows that with, “The truth is, conservative policies work and theirs do not.”

No, conservative policies don’t work. Did that huge Trump tax cut for asshole billionaires, trust-fund babies, and corporations work? Did it reduce the deficit? Did the “trickle-down” theory put more money in the middle class’ pocket? No, it did not. How about those two tax cut for asshole billionaires to finance two wars? What about all the racist policies?

Republican policies attract Nazis and Klansmen. Mike is right to accept that it was Trump followers who attacked the Capitol but he didn’t recognize them as terrorists. When you attack a government in a bloody coup attempt to overturn an election, you’re a fucking goddamn terrorist.

The fun part of his column were the comments from his readers. Most reject that President Biden won. They reject the truth. Some argue there’s no way a failed racist stupid fast-food peddling game show host could lose an election because they saw so many pro-Trump signs in their neighborhoods. How could a guy lose an election after trashing the economy and doing nothing while watching hundreds of thousands of Americans die from a pandemic he politicized and lied about? How could Trump lose the popular vote to Joe Biden after losing it to Hillary Clinton? How could a guy who repeatedly chose Putin over America be rejected by American voters? How could an impeached president (sic) lose an election while on his way to a second impeachment? It boggles the mind.

To reject that Biden won the election is to reject democracy. Oh, Republicans love democracy until they don’t get what they want.

A majority of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election and somehow President Biden stole it with the help of Republican leaders in states like Georgia and Arizona. The party is about to oust Liz Cheney from leadership, not because she doesn’t support Republican policies, but because she refuses to support the Big Lie.

Here’s the question for Republicans like my friend: If you don’t want to be in a cult, then why are you a Republican? It seems you would have quit when the Nazis came knocking.

Creative note: I wrote this cartoon in the middle of last week and thought my editor at CNN might like it. He loved it and approved it around 10:00 AM Friday morning. I dug it too and took my time with it. A few cartooning colleagues have patted me on the back for it which I truly appreciate it. Even though we’ve all been to the site, I used a great black-and-white photo for reference from the New York State Archives I found while doing a Google image search. This is a case where I’m really satisfied with a cartoon and will check it months down the line to see if I still like it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Evil Flying Hater Poop Machines


Cjones05082021

If you’re still having a public squabble and hissy fit over being banned from Facebook, you don’t deserve to be president. And that’s the topic I originally intended to cover today, but after this flying monkey idea flew into my head, I couldn’t let it go.

Liz Cheney is most likely going to lose her leadership position in the House because Donald Trump has sent his flying monkeys to destroy her. Accidentally speaking on a hot mic, Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy made it clear he wants her gone. If he wants her gone, she’s gone. And all of this is because she won’t support the “Big Lie” that the election was stolen from Trump or the talking point he’s not responsible for all the MAGA terrorists attacking the Capitol.

While Liz Cheney won’t goosestep with her cult, er…party regarding the Big Lie and its support of white nationalist terrorism, she is in lockstep with them on virtually every other issue.

Her party doesn’t have a problem that she opposes same-sex marriage, which she does despite having a lesbian sister.

Her party doesn’t have an issue that she wants the grey wolf taken off the endangered species list. She also opposed the grizzly bear being returned to the Endangered Special Act, saying it wasn’t based on “science or facts.” She favors murdering endangered animals and raping national parks for energy companies.

She joined her party in accusing FBI agent Peter Strzok of planning a “coup” against then-candidate Trump in 2016. While she voted to impeach Trump in 2020, she voted against the first one despite him being guilty of asking a foreign nation to meddle and help his reelection.

Liz Cheney was more than fine with Trump’s family-separation policy at the border. She never spoke out against parents losing their children, babies being thrown into detention centers, or children being forced to go to court alone to defend themselves. She loves Donald Trump’s racist border wall.

She never questioned Donald Trump’s grifting of our government. She never went after him when he chose Putin over U.S. Intelligence.

She didn’t oppose Trump’s Muslim ban.

When Turkey invaded Kurdish territory in Syria attacking our allies after Trump pulled U.S. troops out of the area, Cheney blamed the invasion on Democrats’ impeachment of Trump.

She supports Israel annexing more of Palestine.

Cheney called for the Trump Justice Department to investigate foreign meddling by Russia and China to influence, not the 2016 presidential election, but environmental groups like the Sierra Club, Sea Change, and the National Resources Defense Counsil.

Liz Cheney is anti-choice, anti-healthcare, anti-education, anti-environment, anti-civil rights, anti-women’s rights, anti-gun control, and anti-social security. She may oppose the Big Lie, but I haven’t heard her oppose changing voting laws, designed to make voting harder for black voters, based on the Big Lie.

Trump might be angry at her, but she supported Donald Trump giving himself a huge tax cut. She opposes corporations paying more in taxes…or in most cases, any taxes.

And while she opposes the conspiracy theories that Donald Trump won the 2020 election, she has supported the conspiracy theories that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya. She once gave the keynote address at a dinner hosted by the Center for Security Policy, which is a conspiracy group that’s been labeled as a hate group, and is led by Frank Gaffney, who once compared Muslims to termites. Cheney never criticized him for comparing human beings to termites.

As the flying monkeys swarm over Liz Cheney, keep in mind…she’s a flying monkey too. She just pissed off the Wicked Witch.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Liz-Aid


Cjones05062021

I have to get my second vaccination this morning. I’m going to do that first, get a money order for my rent, then return and write today’s blog…if I’m not on my ass. Check back later today.

It’s later today:

Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy wants his party to retake the House in 2022. He believes the only way to do that, isn’t just by enabling Donald Trump’s lies, but attacking anyone who speaks against his lies.

The GOP already has gerrymandering to help them retake the House. Red states like Texas, Florida, and North Carolina are getting new congressional seats and that will help them too. They’re changing voting laws to make it more difficult for black people to vote, which will also help them. So you would think McCarthy wouldn’t need to debase himself by groveling to the Trump base. Except, McCarthy is a Republican and most of that party has abandoned principles.

And it’s not just members of the House engaging in the Big Lie that Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen from him. Senator Mitt Romney was booed last week at a Republican event in his home state of Massachusetts, or Utah…or whichever one it is this week. They booed him because he voted to convict Donald Trump.

Republicans are pushing the Big Lie and gaslighting the January 6 terrorist attack on the Capitol that Donald Trump instigated. While Democrats want an independent commission to study the attack, McCarthy and Republicans want to deflect by making Black Lives Matter and Antifa “violence” a part of the study.

Here’s a fact: The attack on the Capitol was conducted by white racist terrorists instigated by Donald Trump and Black Lives Matter and Antifa didn’t have a damn thing to do with it.

If Republicans have their way, an independent commission to study the attack on the Capitol will be about as independent as the Arizona recount being recounted by Republicans, Trump goons, GOP candidates who are on the ballots they’re counting, and MAGA terrorists.

Now, Wyoming’s lone representative, Liz Cheney, daughter of Daick, is demanding that the party have principles. Keep in mind, this is a person who verbally attacked LGBTQ in order to get elected and has a lesbian sister. But for Republicans, this is about as ethical as it gets.

The party that cries about “cancel culture” now want to cancel Liz Cheney. Cheney is speaking out against the Big Lie, saying the election wasn’t stolen, and the Capitol attack was Donald Trump’s fault. She said Donald Trump’s false claims are “poisoning our democratic system.” That might be where she messed up because Republicans care more about conspiracy theories than about our democratic system.

Cheney is the number three Republican in the House and survived a vote to remove her a few months ago after voting to impeach Trump. Reportedly, another vote may come up and this time, she’s not expected to survive. Matt Gaetz, before his sex scandal hit, even went to Wyoming in an ugly suit with his hair sticking up like Cameron Diaz’s in “There’s Something about Mary,” to campaign against her. Why is everything with that guy icky?

Steve Scalise, the number two guy, said about Cheney, “This idea that you just disregard President Trump is not where we are — and frankly, he has a lot to offer still.” The idea Steve Scalise can’t disregard a flagrant liar like Donald Trump who engineered a bloody coup attempt, is now where this country should be.

Today, Kevin McCarthy said on Fox News that any effort to get rid of Cheney isn’t about her vote to impeach Trump, but her “ability to carry out the job as conference chair, to carry out the message.” That message is a message of bullshit.

Right now, there is more criticism and condemnation of Liz Cheney for speaking her mind than there is for Matt Gaetz, or Qanon fucknuts Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert. Next year, you can expect Donald Trump to rally against Liz Cheney in her reelection attempt. Right now, Cheney is fighting for her leadership position, but she may not even have a seat in the next Congress while lunatics like Gaetz, Greene, Boebert, and Jim Jordan are still there.

Kevin McCarthy doesn’t not have principles, ethics, or integrity. He attempted to exercise some integrity by blaming Trump for the terrorist attack, then quickly back-peddled when Trump expressed outrage. Then, he flew down to Mar-a-Lago for a Trump photo-op. McCarthy is a coward. He doesn’t actually believe the election lie. He knows Trump lost and Biden won, but he’s too much of a coward to state the truth. He’ll repeat any Trump lie to regain the House. He is worst than your average everyday enabler. He’s a party to the party of lies.

The majority of the party believe Trump won and the election was stolen. They’re idiots.

For me, the Democratic Party is not the solution to everything. I am a liberal but not a partisan. There are plenty of problems with the Democrats and they will never have my loyalty. But the Republican Party has stopped being one that’s just opposite on the ideas, but they’ve become a cult.

The Republican Party would take the presidency, the House, and the Senate, and then stack the courts, despite the fact fewer Americans will vote for them. They don’t care how they get power, just so long as they get it. And they don’t just oppose civil rights, free speech, a free press, women’s rights, reproductive rights, and wanna fuck with elections. No. They have become a party obsessed with worshipping a racist reality TV show host with a dead bleached skunk on his head and who supports terrorists.

The Republican Party will never be a party we can take seriously until they stop being the party of cult worship. And the cult of personality they’re worshiping is a very stupid personality at that.

The people enabling a lying racist who tried to overturn an election through a bloody coup attempt are the ones who should be up against the wall, not the person telling the truth.

Creative note: I know! It was Flavor-Aid. Every time I draw a Kool-Aid cartoon, someone wants to show off their big brain and inform all of us it was Flavor-Aid used in the mass suicide of Jim Jones’ cult. Actually, I have read it was both….but anyway, “Flavor-Aid” does not work for the cartoon. Informing me it was Flavor-Aid is almost as annoying as complaining about the ads on this site. If I see an ad for Flavor-Aid, I’m gonna lose it.

Also, I stared at this idea for about an hour this morning until I gave up on waiting for a better idea. Walking back from the clinic, I got an idea I like a lot better. I’m really kicking myself for not doing that one even though this cartoon has over 300 shares on Facebook.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Cavegirl


cjones02062021

Last night, the Neanderthals that make up the Republican membership in the United States House of Representatives held a vote on whether or not to remove Congresswoman Liz Cheney, daughter of Dick, from her leadership position.

Oh my gosh. What did that dastardly Liz do? Did she claim school shootings are fake? Did she claim California wildfires are created by Jewish Space Lasers financed by the Rothschilds? Did she claim JRK Jr was murdered by the Clintons? Did she bully school shooting survivors? Did she claim 9/11 was a hoax and planes did not fly into the Pentagon? Does she believe Democrats are part of a deep state of satanic-worshipping pedophiliac blood drinkers? Did she promote Pizzagate? Did she say Muslims shouldn’t be allowed into Congress? Did she defend the Nazis at Charlottesville? Did she call George Soros a Nazi? Did she promote the big lie that Trump won the election? Did she call for the murder of Congressional colleagues? Is she a supporter of Qanon?

Nope. Liz Cheney didn’t do any of that. All of the above are freshman member and Qanon troglodyte Marjorie Taylor Greene’s positions. For her, the House Republicans gave a standing ovation last night. For Liz, they tried to punish her for a vote she cast.

If anyone’s going to inflict punishment for a vote, it should be a representative’s constituents, not her colleagues. Liz Cheney voted to impeach Donald Trump after he incited a terrorist attack on the very building where House Republicans held their vote to punish Cheney. Donald Trump attempted a bloody coup and House Republicans went after Cheney for standing up against it.

Fortunately, Liz Cheney survived but 61 of her colleagues voted to remove her from her leadership position. Last week, her colleague Matt Gaetz flew to her state, Wyoming, and held an anti-Liz rally. Unfortunately while in Wyoming, Gaetz was not eaten by a bear. Guess where Matt Gaetz didn’t fly to? Georgia, the home district of Marjorie Taylor Greene. In Matt Gaetz’s defense, he’s a lying piece of crap who’s never had integrity. Also in his defense, he’s from Florida.

In fact, the House didn’t even hold a vote on whether or not to remove Greene from her committee assignments, especially her seat on the Education Committee, where she’ll be able to tell educators that school shootings are fake and the children who survived are “crisis actors.” Her seat on the Education Committee is the worst thing to happen to education since Betsy DeVos.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is a coward. After Donald Trump incited a terrorist attack against the U.S. Capitol, McCarthy gave a speech on the floor of the House condemning Trump’s action. Then, he flew to Florida to grovel and kiss Trump’s ass at Mar-a-Lago. Now, he’s refusing to do anything about Marjorie Taylor Greene. It probably didn’t hurt her when she said she just got off the phone with Donald Trump.

In the last session of Congress, House Republicans removed Congressman Steve King from all his committee assignments after he openly questioned why “white nationalism” and “white supremacy” were considered bad thing. Now, they’re too cowardly to do something about Greene who has gone beyond expressing bigotry.

Kevin McCarthy and nearly the entire GOP are running scared of Qanon, a group that was a large part of the terrorist attack on the Capitol…an attack that could have killed many of these same Republicans. On Tuesday night, Office Brian Sicknick lay in state in the Capitol because he was killed by terrorists during that attack. Brian Sicknick died defending those Republicans who won’t stand up against the terrorists who killed him. The FBI lists Qanon as a terrorist threat. But Republicans, they’re pandering to this terrorist base.

Qanon is a sickness. It’s a cult. It’s a movement of conspiracy theories and violence. Senate Minority Leader (HAHA) Mitch McConnell called Qanon a “cancer.” The leader of House Republicans, Kevin McCarthy, said he didn’t know what Qanon was or if he was even pronouncing it correctly. Kevin McCarthy is actually slower than Mitch McTortoise McConnell.

Kevin McCarthy had a two-hour one-on-one meeting with Marjorie Taylor Greene about her comments and support of Qanon theories. If he doesn’t know what Qanon is, then what did they spend two hours talking about?

Kevin McCarthy is a sniveling coward. He won’t take action against Marjorie Taylor Greene and won’t even require her to publicly renounce Qanon in order to keep her committee assignments. Today, House Democrats will vote to remove her from those committees. Today, we’ll find out which Republicans support terrorists.

Spoiler alert: It’s going to be a lot of them.

Kevin McCarthy is a coward and he’s allowing a Neanderthal to pull him around by his hair. He’s not a leader. Marjorie Taylor Greene isn’t the only Republican who should be removed from Congress.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Capitol Freaking Beaches


cjones07262020

Congress is full of bitches. Bitches like Rand Paul, Matt Gaetz, and Ted Yoho.

Congresswoman Liz Cheney, daughter of Dick, is being yelled at by a bunch of dicks. Liz had the gall to say something nice about Dr. Anthony Fauci, a man GOP talking points have labeled as the enemy. She’s also said things that require having a rational mind like we shouldn’t remove all our troops out of Germany.

Senator Rand Paul yelled that Liz is “leading the fight” to stop Trump from withdrawing U.S. troops from overseas conflicts. I didn’t realize we were in an overseas conflict with Germany other than they use science and we don’t. Matt Gaetz wants her removed from a conference chair. Donald Trump Jr, who is NOT a member of Congress thank God, said, “We don’t need another Mitt Romney.” We don’t need two Donald Trumps either but we got ’em.

Donald Trump Sr. tweeted, “Liz Cheney is only upset because I have been actively getting our great and beautiful Country out of the ridiculous and costly Endless Wars. I am also making our so-called allies pay tens of billions of dollars in delinquent military costs. They must, at least, treat us fairly!!!” Here’s the thing about our “so-called” allies paying tens of billions in delinquent military costs: Obama, not Trump, got them to agree to increase how much they contribute to NATO. Fact, fact, fuckity, fact, fact. I’m also surprised Trump didn’t say, “beautiful” endless wars.

Rand Paul, who took a test for covid-19, then went to mingle with his colleagues while waiting for his POSITIVE result, went on to say about Liz Cheney, “I don’t think she’s good for the country.”

Remember this, kids, the next time Republicans accuse Democrats of not being open to different viewpoints within their party and how they all must conform to the same ideology. Here the Republican Party is chastising one of their own, who agrees with Donald Trump 99% of the time, for not being sycophantic enough. The Kool-Aid drinkers are on her because she doesn’t drink enough Kool-Aid.

Maybe part of their problem with Liz Cheney is that she’s a woman. I mean, do you remember Republicans chastising Dick Cheney like this when he was the vice-president, who by the way, got us into two of those “endless wars” which they all voted for and supported. Liz Cheney has spoken out against a move that placates Vladimir Putin. Who wants our troops out of Germany? Russia and Republicans. If Trump win reelection, expect a similar move on the Korean peninsula and quite possibly Japan.

Like I said, Republicans have issues with women who speak out and disagree with them. Take Ted Yoho as an example. Yoho, a congressman from Florida, confronted New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, on the Capitol steps and told her she was “disgusting” for suggesting that poverty was driving crime in New York City.

Poverty doesn’t just drive crime in New York City. Poverty drives crime everywhere. It’s true that rich people engage in criminal activity also like operating fake charities, fake universities, engage in tax evasion, refuse to pay contractors, pay off pornstars, engage in emoluments violations, concoct schemes to bribe a Russian president, ask other countries for bribes of awarding golf tournaments at their shitty resorts, and sexually assault women, but it is poverty along with systemic racism that contributes to crime. But, I’m sure Mr. Yoo-Hoo, being from Florida knows so much more about New York City than a woman representative from New York City.

As Mr. Yoo-Hoo was walking away from Ms. Ocasio-Cortez, he said, (you’re going to love this, kids) “FUCKING BITCH.”

What did this MALE congressman call a FEMALE colleague? A “FUCKING BITCH.” What was that? “FUCKING BITCH.” That’s “disgusting.”

Later, he offered a non-apology denying he said “FUCKING BITCH” and when he said “FUCKING BITCH,” he wasn’t talking about Ms. Ocasio-Cortez. Also, in his non-apology, he didn’t mention her name. The hero of this story rejected his apology because it was not an apology and tweeted, “But hey, ‘bitches’ get stuff done.”

on Tuesday, Ocasio-Cortez posted a clip on Instagram from the Doja Cat song (I’m writing about it like I know what that is) “Boss Bitch.” She wrote, “You know what we say when fragile men call us bitches because we stand up for ourselves and other human beings? Shine on, fight for others, and let the haters stay mad.”

The haters have been mad ever since Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez won her race for Congress. They have repeatedly attacked her and have lied about her positions. The thing is, Yoho is just the only one to be caught saying out loud what all the other male Republicans want to say.

The real irony here is male Republicans call women bitches after they all volunteered to be Trump bitches.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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