Mississippi Burning


Mississippi is about to take a test. The test will determine if they’re more ignorant and ass backwards than Georgia, and just as much as North Carolina.

Republican lawmakers in Mississippi really hate gay people. Let’s be fair. Maybe they don’t hate gay people. They just realize they can capitalize on their voters’ hatred.

The Mississippi law doesn’t just describe “religious freedom.” It very intentionally points out you can use religion as an excuse to discriminate against anyone who is gay, in a gay marriage, or a “gay lifestyle.”

The bill is called “Protecting Freedom of Conscience from Government Discrimination Act.” which means, you can’t be discriminated for discriminating against gay folks. The legislation would allow businesses and religious groups to deny the LGBT community certain services such as counseling, wedding planning and adoption support. It would also protect those groups from punishment if they act “consistent with a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction.” Man, you really gotta hate someone not to take their money. The Soup Nazi could move to Mississippi and literally be a Soup Nazi.

North Carolina just passed a bill targeting transgenders and their use of public bathrooms. Georgia and South Dakota passed similar bills but their governors said no. I suspect Georgia governor Nathan Deal vetoed it because of business pressure. He really doesn’t want The Walking Dead to start filming in another state.

I love Mississippi. My son was born in Mississippi and he currently lives there. My career started in that state. The Panolian is my journalism education and I had great teachers who I still consider family. I love them very much. I made friends in the journalism community all over the state and my ran in newspapers from Biloxi on the Gulf Coast to DeSoto County on the Tennessee border. I met a lot of readers in Mississippi. Some of the smartest and most talented people in the world come from Mississippi. Those people are not in the state legislature which is continuing the stereotype of Mississippi being populated by backward, racists, inbred, toothless hicks who marry their sisters. Thanks, legislature. You would think that with the state’s long sordid history of racism that the government wouldn’t create new laws to hate.

I really hope this cartoon doesn’t lose me any clients in Mississippi, or anywhere else. I should send it to every editor in the state who doesn’t subscribe to my work just to give them an early stir to start their Wednesday morning.

Story time: When I worked at The Free Lance-Star here in Fredericksburg, VA, our editor had a policy that we couldn’t publish any images of a noose. I discovered this by drawing a cartoon, and it being published, with a noose. It’s funny how you learn things. The cool thing was I didn’t get in trouble. My editor got in trouble. He got a demerit or something like that on an employee evaluation for approving my cartoon. Apparently I was just a monkey boy who wasn’t responsible for my own actions. FLS had a LOT of no-nos I discovered over the years. You’ll be glad to know that after that I got in trouble plenty of times.

This cartoon was drawn while listening to the first four Van Halen albums. There isn’t a better song to listen to while cross hatching than Atomic Punk.

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Over At The Frankenstein Place


I’m gonna let you in on a little secret if you promise it won’t freak you out. You have already shared a public restroom with a transgender person. Oh no! Do you want to know why they were in there? They probably had to use the restroom. Freaks, I know. We should pass more laws.

That’s exactly what the mouth-breathing troglodytes did in North Carolina. Their largest city, Charlotte, passed some anti-discrimination laws and the GOP majority legislature along with their Republican governor freaked out. They passed a law forbidding municipalities from being tolerant.

Part of that law says people have to use the public restrooms where the sign coordinates with the gender written on their birth certificate. So basically the government is enacting more wee wee and hoo ha legislation.

My city is pretty gay friendly. We don’t have gay bars. We have gay friendly bars. People really don’t care though we are surrounded by counties that are totally red. There are occasional drag shows here and afterward the performers go bar hopping. I was playing pool one night in a dive bar (you know which one if you’re from Fredericksburg) and one of the performers was still in drag and using the urinal. Guys cleared out of that restroom as if he had ebola. To me, he wasn’t any different or threatening than any other guy in there. He just so happened to be a guy in a mini skirt and fishnet stockings. He couldn’t play pool worth a damn though.

I’m dedicating this cartoon to my ex wife, Chelle. We had a lot of shared interests, loves, inside jokes and movies we would quote. Rocky Horror Picture Show was one of them. Though I had seen the movies years before I met her and even participated in the rice throwing and such at the theater, she really made me appreciate the movie…after making me watch it a thousand times.

I realize Doctor Frankenfurter is not transgender. He is in fact a “sweet transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.”

Chelle, this is “one from the vaults.”

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Virginia Wee-Wee And Hoo-Haa Checker


Mark Cole is a Republican representative to the Virginia House of Delegates. He represents parts of Spotsylvania County, Stafford County and the city of Fredericksburg. This is the community I live in. We have a lot of insufferable, right wing, intolerant, fundamentalist lunatics in this area. But dammit. All the other Yahoos coordinated and got this one elected to public office. Suffice it to say, Delegate Cole is not representing my views.

Mr. Cole has a history of sponsoring legislation motivated by his paranoia. In 2010 he sponsored a bill that would ban the implantation of microchips into humans by their employers. He said “there’s a prophecy in the Bible that says you’ll have to receive a mark, or you can neither buy nor sell things in end times, some people think these computer chips might be that mark.” Maybe someone should check Mr. Cole for the Mark of the Beast.

Now he’s worried about which bathroom transgender children will use. He has sponsored a bill which in part legislates the use of bathrooms based on “anatomical sex” in public schools. Cole has not explained how he envisions this law to work. How are school authorities supposed to determine the proper sex of their students? Who does it? How do they do it? Do they put an ad in the paper for a hoo-haa inspector? Will they reject applicants who drive creepy vans? Who the Hell wants that job, I mean other than pedophiles? This is crap I don’t want to think about. Maybe our legislators should stop thinking about it too.

Thankfully I don’t believe these questions will have to be answered since Virginia has a Democratic governor who is not a fundamentalist lunatic who fancies laws that bully children.

Cole says there are parents in his district concerned and worried about transgender children sharing a bathroom with their children. Tell those paranoid parents to instruct their children to use a stall. They still have those in school bathrooms, right? What bothers me more than transgender children are adults who want to check out their genitalia. Stop it.

When Cole isn’t fixated on the genitalia of school children he’s sponsoring bills that support voter suppression, memorialize the U.S. Congress to repeal personal income taxes and enact a national sales tax and another on the right to bear arms (which is already legal).

It’s bad enough students are confronted with bullying by fellow students. They don’t need adults to join in on the bullying.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Occupying Alabama


Gay marriage is legal through all of the United States of America. The U.S. Supreme Court, one out of three branches of government, says so. The reason I’m stating is this because apparently not everyone has received the information.

Take the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. This Bama bunghole directed all local judges in his state to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Roy Moore is a religious wack job and has used his position on the bench to heap his religious views upon the citizens of Alabama. Last February he expressed concern about federal courts stepping on Alabama and wrote “have always recognized the biblical admonition stated by our Lord.” He’s also argued the state should keep children away from gay parents. He supports public prayer but only if it’s Christian.

As chief justice he installed a Ten Commandments monument at the court house and was then thrown off the court for refusing to remove it. He was later elected back to the bench.

We can expect Moore to be found in contempt and maybe even removed once again. That should be fun.

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Saved To Death By The LDS


I drew this for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons) decided that children of gay parents cannot receive a naming blessing or be baptized until they’re 18. As can be expected, there’s a firestorm over this and a fear of mass resignations from the church. Mass resignations? How many gay Mormons can there be? Dozens? I don’t get it … but hey, there are gay Republicans out there too, so go figure.

Now the church has issued a statement that the policy applies “only to those children whose primary residence is with a couple living in a same-gender marriage or similar relationship.” So if you’re one of those part-time kids who lives with straight mom and new dad and only lives with gay dad and his new friend Stan on weekends, then the church says you’re cool. You’re only slightly icky but not enough to be dehumanized by God.

They also said the policy will not apply retroactively to children in a same-sex household who have already been baptized. Now I’m not very religious (OK, I’m not religious at all), but I was raised going to churches (yes, plural), and I don’t know how they can go about unbaptizing someone. How do you undunk someone’s head in the water?

After a child who’s been refused a blessing and baptism has reached the age of 18, he or she can receive a baptism. That is, if he or she disavows same-sex cohabitation (guys doing it to other guys … or girls and girls). Of course, they’ll have to receive approval from the church’s governing First Presidency, who will make sure that none of the gay stuck to the child. Maybe they should add some bleach to the baptism water, you know, just to make sure they’re really cleansed.

The LDS’s message is one of “We want you, we want your financial support, but we don’t recognize you as a human being and will use policy to dehumanize you … but God bless you.” Basically, the church values you the same as a pre-1978 black guy.

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Houston, We Have A Toilet


It’s not every day I get to draw people sitting on toilets. Newspaper editors typically frown on bathroom humor.

I hate scapegoating. I really hate fear mongering and scaring the population as a technique to drum up votes.

I am not comparing anyone to Nazis, but we all know that’s what they did. They didn’t invent it. We scapegoated in America long before Hitler was born. We blamed African Americans, or used them to scare the population.

Voters were warned about freeing blacks. Then they were warned about them voting. People were murdered to keep blacks from voting. After that it was sharing classrooms and soldiers had to be called so children could walk into a school. Of course along the way there were warnings about what would happen to society if interracial marriage became legal. Some people still have issues with that. A family member told me recently that a mixed child (also in our family) won’t be accepted by society. When I pointed out the president as a fine example to prove her wrong that just kind of went over her head. I don’t just piss off readers. I piss off people I’m related to and they stop talking to me. But I digress.

We graduated to fear mongering about Mexicans. We’re still doing that except there’s softer language for it, though it’s not very subtle. Instead of screaming about race or skin color we use the code words “illegal immigrants” as if people are illegal.

There’s hardly anything subtle about Islamophobia. People will tell you that it’s an evil religion and they want to kill all of us, or make us convert to Islam. They will enact Sharia law. Don’t let them build a mosque in your town. We hate Muslims so much that occasionally we’ll beat up a Sikh because you can never be too careful.

Scapegoating people who are poor is still awesome for some people. Poor people blame poor people. They want drug tests for anyone on welfare, like that’s going to change your life. Even after results prove it’s a waste of time people still love the program. I hate you so you should have to pee in a cup. Leave your dignity at the door, freeloader.

And did you hear about the gays? They’re going to make you gay if we accept people being gay as something normal. Gay marriage will somehow ruin your straight marriage. let’s not forget that we can’t let them adopt because they’ll raise gay children.

Pointless blame, hate, and fear has always been stupid but yesterday it achieved new heights in absurdity.

Houston is the largest city in the country without a law making it illegal to fire someone for the simple fact they’re gay. Yeah. Tuesday the voters in that city voted against an anti-discrimination measure. What was the biggest campaign against the measure? Bathrooms. Yes. Public bathrooms. Opponents waged a campaign that men would disguise themselves as women, or as transgenders, and creep into women’s public restrooms to take a gander. They even had an all star baseball player doing commercials where he said “booga booga freaks in bathrooms booga booga.” He said he was afraid for his daughters safety to urinate in public. Who in the Hell is letting little children go to a public restroom alone anyway? Is this a thing in Texas?

Here’s the point. I have never seen security at a public restroom. I haven’t seen any measure to prevent a freak from going into a restroom other than that man/woman symbol on the doors. I don’t think any law is going to invite people with super odd fetishes to stage a freak parade into a public bathroom. The problem doesn’t really exist.

Yeah, there’s people out there with strange fetishes but I’m going to go out on a limb and say most people feel the way I do, and that is there’s nothing exciting about seeing anyone sitting on a toilet.

Ooh la la, I don’t think so.

The Kim Davis Rally For Bigotry


Sorry if I put that song in your head. You’re lucky I can’t really express “dum! dumdumdum! dumdumdum! dumdumduuuuuuuum! into the cartoon. Reportedly, the band Survivor is upset Kim Davis’s Rally For Bigotry use their tune. I’m upset too because now it’s in my head.

People say you should respect beliefs you disagree with. I don’t respect that belief. If your beliefs and core convictions make you a spiteful-intolerant bigot then I’m not going to respect that either. You have to really be committed to your bigotry to be willing to go to jail for your backward positions. Mike Huckabee is such a bigot he’s willing to go to jail for other people’s bigotry.

Here’s the thing, bigots. You’re not being persecuted. Your religion is not being suppressed. No one is denying your freedom of religion. You’re upset because you can’t use your religion to deny other people their freedom.

On top of all that, it’s not as much about your religious freedom and convictions when it turns into a not so humble political rally for a presidential candidate most people forgot was even in the race. And let’s not forget poor Ted Cruz who actually had to photo bomb for anyone to notice he was even there.

Kim Davis was put in jail on a contempt of court charge for denying marriage licenses to gay couples. Now that her office is issuing the licenses the judge released her. Davis says she hasn’t changed her mind. She didn’t talk about her job or the law at the rally. The only topic she mentioned was God which is further proof she doesn’t give two squats about the Constitution, the law or the separation of church and state. We’ll see what happens next.

Davis is willing to deny people their Constitutional rights for her convictions. She’s willing to go to jail for them. About the only thing she’s not willing to do for her beliefs is quit her $80,000+ a year job.

I couldn’t draw this cartoon without inserting Farmer Fran (Davis’ fourth husband), who showed up to the rally and on stage in overalls embarrassing hillbillies and scarecrows nationwide.

Hateful Hoosiers’ Window Space


Finally, I drew a cartoon about Indiana. No, I haven’t really been waiting for a reason to pick on Indiana though I wonder how this will fly since I do have a little sister, a little brother and quite a few nieces and nephews up there. I doubt they’ll see it.

But yeah, I got to hit Indiana. It seems there’s always something stupid coming out of Texas, Florida and Arizona giving me an opportunity. Earlier today I drew a custom cartoon for a publication in Utah which you’ll see Sunday. But now Indiana has decided to doing something Neanderthaleriffic. You really gotta hate somebody to refuse to take their money.

Indiana, I knew you had it in you!

A Place For Homophobes


Virginia’s favorite homophobe is back at it again.

Bob Marshall is a delegate to Virginia’s General Assembly (that’s like a legislature in other states, for your civics enthusiasts). In the past Mr. Marshall has tried to ban gay marriage by authoring a constitutional amendment, tried to get a judge kicked off the bench for being gay, and tried to impeach the state’s attorney general for not defending the state’s ban on gay marriage in court. If he keeps this up people might start thinking he doesn’t like gay people.

Well he is keeping it up…and big time for gay people (yes that was a pun). Now the delegate is sponsoring a bill that will allow businesses and their employees to deny service to people who aren’t just gay, married gay…but exhibiting gay behavior. Maybe Mr. Marshall can write a manual on gay behavior so the rest of us can identify it.

The bill HB 1414 states  “a person shall not be required to perform, assist, consent to, or participate in any action or refrain from performing, assisting, consenting to, or participating in any action as a condition of obtaining or renewing a government-issued license, registration, or certificate where such condition would violate the religious or moral convictions of such person with respect to same-sex marriage or homosexual behavior.”

Basically it’s a law to discriminate.

Can this bill pass in Virginia? Yes. It just might pass the Republican controlled General Assembly. It’s already headed to a very homophobe-friendly committee. Will it fly past the liberal Democratic governor’s desk? Hell freaking no.

Some of us in Virginia are actually living in the modern age.

I know it’s a bold generalization and people might say it’s not fair…but I’m not a fair person: It’s pretty clear where people like Bob Marshall would have stood in Nazi Germany or in the deep South during the Civil Rights Era.

I don’t expect many of my clients to run this, if any. It’s a Virginia issue and most of my clients are outside Virginia. The ones in Virginia might be afraid of this. But ya’ know, I did this for myself and my blog readers. I did this because I can. I don’t have an editor which means I don’t have anyone that can say no.