January 6

Patriotic Cuddle Bear

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Ted Cruz is a coward. He can’t defend his wife. He can’t defend his state. He can’t defend his country.

A man attacks Ted Cruz’s wife. What does Ted Cruz do? He becomes a sycophant for that man.

His state is ravaged by a winter freeze leaving millions without power and killing hundreds. Ted flees Texas to Cancun where it’s nice and warm and there are beach resorts and daiquiris.

Ted Cruz’s country is attacked. Instead of defending his country, Ted supports the terrorists.

Sometimes Ted pretends he’s tough. Like when Donald Trump attacked his wife, he called Trump a sniveling coward. Trump also accused his father of murder. Later, Ted becomes a surrogate and defender of Trump. We’re not supposed to remember Trump attacked Ted’s family.

When Ted fled Texas for a beach resort in Cancun, he went back to Texas immediately and went into the GOP Photo-Op Recovery Program, making sure the public saw him in his Texas-flag face mask while helping put cases of water into car trunks. Later, he blamed his daughters for the Cancun trip with the logic that a good father takes his daughters to Cancun when they plead for him to do so.

Even though Ted Cruz helped the effort to block certification of the electoral college, won by President Joe Biden, he has called the attack on the Capitol one committed by terrorists.

And even when Ted occasionally gets something right, which is rarer than a woman looking at Ted and saying, “Mmmm, I wants me a piece of that,” he quickly backtracks. Donald Trump is a sniveling coward and Ted shouldn’t have backed away from that. But just like Trump, Ted is a sniveling coward and that goes with his smarmy condescending icky creepy personality. Ted will grovel and kiss any ass he believes will help him become president, even the asses of the vilest, like Donald Trump and Tucker Carlson. On Thursday night, Ted Cruz groveled to Tucker Carlson.

The entire nation calls Ted Cruz a liar but it’s politically damaging when Tucker Carlson calls you one, even though he himself is a liar.

Ted Cruz has called the terrorists “terrorists” multiple times. But after doing it again earlier in the week, Tucker Carlson got upset at Ted for calling terrorists “terrorists.”

Ted Cruz went on Tucker’s show and said his “terrorists” comments were “sloppy” and “frankly dumb.” That could be a good defense for Cruz because a lot of his comments are sloppy and dumb. But here, Ted was quibbling.

Tucker was upset over the white nationalists who tried to overturn the election to install Donald Trump as a fascist dictator and said to Ted, “You told that lie on purpose, and I’m wondering why you did.”

This is when Ted quibbled. Lying Ted said, “What I was referring to are the limited number of people who engaged in violent attacks against police officers. I think you and I both agree that if you assault a police officer, you should go to jail. I wasn’t saying the thousands of peaceful protesters supporting Donald Trump are somehow terrorists. I wasn’t saying the millions of patriots across the country supporting Trump are terrorists.”

That’s like saying only the pilots of the planes were terrorists on 9/11. The other guys were peaceful protesters. Osama bin Laden isn’t a terrorist because he wasn’t on the plane. He was only the mastermind. He only sent the terrorists.

The FBI defines terrorism as: “violent, criminal acts committed by individuals and/or groups to further ideological goals stemming from domestic influences, such as those of a political, religious, social, racial, or environmental nature.”

The people who attacked the Capitol, and not just the Capitol Police, were trying to destroy our democracy. They were trying to stop a process mandated by the United States Constitution. They were trying to overturn a legal election. They were trying to install Donald Trump as an unelected dictator. They were attempting a coup. Everything they did fits the definition of terrorism.

Ted Cruz was right and he shouldn’t have backed down, especially to the likes of a lying coward like Tucker Carlson.

Ted Cruz went on to say, “So, of course, it would be ridiculous for me to be saying that the people standing up and protesting to follow the law were somehow terrorists. I was talking about people who commit violence against cops.” Everyone who entered that building on January 6, 2021, to “protest” the legal election was committing an act of terrorism. Everyone who broke windows, stole property, and defecated and urinated on the floors and hallways were terrorists. Ashli Babbitt was a terrorist.

Ted continued to grovel and said, “It was a mistake to say that yesterday and the reason is what you just said, which is we have now had a year of Democrats and the media twisting words and trying to say that all of us are terrorists. Trying to say you are a terrorist, I am a terrorist.” But, Ted. You and Tucker do support terrorists. Everyone who uses the word “protests” or “tourists” to describe the events on January 6, 2021, supports terrorists. Donald Trump supports terrorists.

Tucker spent the entire segment insulting Ted Cruz and calling him a liar. Ted continued to grovel while the dangling little dots that vaguely resemble testicles receded into his body.

Tucker Carlson ended his segment by telling Ted Cruz, “I guess I just don’t believe you, and I mean that with respect.”

That was another lie because nobody respects Ted Cruz.

Music note: I was really into drawing this one while watching CNN’s Saturday morning shows, so I didn’t listen to any music. This is kinda weird because I don’t like any Saturday morning news shows. I should start watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. Is Captain Caveman still on?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Kevin’s Slim Pickens

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A friend of mine used to hold a July 4th pool party every year…until one attendee got drunk and pooped in the pool. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence the pool pooper is a Republican. But nevertheless, no more July 4th pool parties. And pooping in the pool is exactly what House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy plans to do in the January 6 Committee.

The first attempt to have a commission to investigate the white nationalist MAGA terrorist insurrection on the Capitol Complex passed the House with very little GOP support, and died in the Senate. Republicans claimed they voted against it because the commission, with equal representation by both parties and each having full subpoena powers, would be too partisan. Before the vote, Democrats gave Republicans EVERYTHING they demanded before they could vote for it…and they still voted against it.

It’s kinda like taking your kids shopping for back-to-school clothes, and they refuse to participate. So after you’re done shopping for them, they get a hair up their ass because they don’t like the clothes you picked, which looks like that cheap-looking checkered suit Matt Gaetz wears. In this example, your kids are right to complain, you monster.

In Congress, Republicans, after being given everything they asked for, still voted against it. Even though they voted against it, we still need to get answers for the January 6 MAGA tiny-dick terrorist attack. So, Nancy Pelosi held a vote for another committee and this time, Republicans don’t have equal representation or subpoena power. Boo-hoo, fucknuts.

Of course, now they’re going to complain and campaign that they weren’t given equal representation and subpoena power. They will gaslight that they were never given a choice.

Kevin gets five picks and Nancy gets eight. Even better, Nancy can veto Kevin’s picks. And from looking at the names being tossed around by the tossers, she may need to veto every one of them.

Originally, Kevin threatened his members and said if they accepted an appointment to the committee, he would take away all their other committee assignments. Republicans are already afraid of this committee. They want all talk of the racists-for-Trump terrorist attack to go away. Talking about it can hurt the entire party in the 2022 midterms, upset the MAGAt base, and upset Donald Trump. If any Republican takes it seriously and ask serious questions like, “How many Nazis-for-Trump were in the riot?”, then Donald Trump may primary them.

Kevin is also afraid of who this committee may have questions for. Kevin is afraid they may subpoena Kevin. Also, the committee may subpoena Mo Brooks, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump Jr, and even Donald Trump. Keep in mind, it’s a crime to lie to Congress. Mo Brooks is currently using defending himself in a lawsuit for inciting the riot with the argument he was lying about the election being stolen in his capacity as a federal official.

The problem for Kevin is: Do Republicans refuse to work with the committee and risk coming off as disinterested in protecting our nation from terrorists, or do they do the jobs they were elected to do and risk pissing off the racist MAGAt base and Trump in the process?

The answer for Kevin is to go ahead and allow Republicans to join and to make sure they’re poo-flinging howler monkeys, and in the House, there is no better poo-flinging howler monkey than Jim Jordan.

First off, Kevin can’t pick people like Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, or Marjorie Taylor Green. They can’t even pretend to be serious in addition to being too stupid for the committee. Appointing one of those shitweasels will only serve to embarrass the GOP…which should already be embarrassed.

Kevin plans to pick shit stains like Jim Jordan who will use the committee to deflect from the white nationalist terrorist attack. Nancy should veto the selection of Jim Jordan. She should veto anyone who voted against certifying the election. Every member who voted against certifying the election voted against democracy. They voted with the terrorists. In fact, it’s illegal to be in Congress after you supported enemies against the United States of America. Every single one of those Republicans who voted with the terrorists should be removed from Congress.

When people are elected to Congress, they take an oath to protect our nation, not to protect terrorists. The Republican Party and Kevin McCarthy have chosen to protect terrorists over their nation.

Republicans accuse this committee and Democrats of being partisan about January 6. It is now partisan. One side is partisan to democracy. The other side is partisan to terrorists.

Nancy, please don’t allow any supporters of terrorists to sit on this committee. Let them fling poo on their own time. If they want to shit in a pool, there’s one at Mar-a-Lago.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Republican Medals

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Yesterday, Vladimir Putin compared Alexei Nevalny to the white nationalist terrorists who attacked the Capitol in a bloody coup attempt to make Donald Trump this nation’s first dictator.

Alexei Nevalny is considered the man Putin fears the most. He’s an opposition leader whom the Russian government has convicted twice on embezzlement charges in order to prevent him from running for president. Since that wasn’t enough to silence his voice, they tried to murder him. They poisoned him which made him flee to Germany for medical treatment, violating his parole. Nevalny returned to Putin’s Russia knowing they would probably throw him in prison, after trying to murder him, for violating his parole.

The MAGA terrorists attacked the capitol to stop Congress from performing its constitutional duty. They did this act based on a lie. Nearly 500 have been charged with crimes. While Nevalny returned to Russia knowing he could be thrown in prison where they would try again to kill him, the MAGA terrorists have cried for their mommies.

Nevalny was poisoned through his food. While in prison, he has been starved. The Qanon Shaman’s mommy cried to a judge that jail food is too tough for her Q baby and it gives him the rumbly tummy.

Republicans will probably love Putin’s comparison. Although Putin was trying to frame Alexei Nevalny as someone as horrible as the MAGA terrorists, Republicans will frame this as their terrorists being persecuted crusaders for their nation, like Nevalny. Amnesty International has listed Alexei Nevalny as a “prisoner of conscience.” The MAGA terrorists don’t have consciences.

Alexei Nevalny is brave and returned to fascist Russia to face consequences from an unfair justice system controlled by a autocrat. The MAGA terrorists only attacked the Capitol because they had large numbers and when brought to accountability, cried like babies. Many are using the legal defense of being too stupid to think for themselves, blaming Trump for goading them and Fox News for giving them “Foxitus.”

Vladimir Putin refuses to say Nevalny’s name. Republicans refuse to use the word “insurrection” in regard to the insurrection. But, some are real good at using “executed” for the death of Ashli Babbitt, a MAGA terrorist killed by Capitol Police while trying to climb through a broken window inside the Capitol. Republicans are framing Babbitt as a hero when the fact is, she was a terrorist.

Ashli Babbitt attacked her government trying to stop the certification of an election and to install a dictatorship. She tried to stop the democratic process. She tried to overturn a democratic election. She is the very definition of a terrorist. The heroes on January 6 are the Capitol Police who fought against her insurrection.

Yesterday, the House overwhelmingly passed a resolution to award the Congressional Gold Medal to the officers who defended the Capitol from Donald Trump’s terrorists. The vote was 406-21.

Yes, 21 House members voted against giving the Gold Medal to cops. You would think something like this would have been unanimous. It would seem that voting to give medals to cops who fought terrorists would be an easy work day, a no-brainer, and be like a day with cake. But no. All 21 no votes came from Republicans…you know, the people who always cry that “blue lives matter” and rail against “defunding the police.” You know, the same people who always pontificate about how much they are for the rule of law. Why, they’re the law-and-order party. They seek justice. They back our boys and girls in blue.

Republicans are not the party of law and order. They’re the party of white nationalist terrorists and bullshit. Just like their claims of patriotism have been exposed as lies by their love for all that is Trump and Putin, their claims of supporting police are total hogwash too.

Why did 21 Republicans, all Trump supporters with a few being Qnuts, vote against giving medals to cops? Because the bill described the rioters as “a mob of insurrectionists.”

Thomas Massie from Kentucky (a yee-haw state) said, “If they just wanted to give the police recognition, they could have done it without trying to make it partisan, without sticking that in there.” Once again, a Republican steps all over himself and says the quiet part out loud. Insurrections are partisan…and insurrections are Republican.

Opposing ISIS and al Qaeda is easy…but I guess it’s harder to oppose terrorism when the terrorists look like you, eh, white boy?

This will be a shocker but Marjorie Taylor Greene also voted no and said she did so because the bill referred to the Capitol as a “temple” and it doesn’t look anything like “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” She also said, “I wouldn’t call it an insurrection.” Would she call it “tourism” as another Republican has? In her defense, she did just find out about the Holocaust. Did you guys hear about this Holocaust thing? Who knew? We should tell more people.

Scott Perry, a Republican from Pennsylvania, said giving the medal to cops was “disgusting.” No, disgusting was in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” when they ate all the live squirmy baby snakes. Giving medals to cops, not so much. But hey, feel free to tear the Capitol Police officers’ beating hearts out.

The 21 Republicans siding with terrorists over cops are Marjorie Taylor Green, Scott Perry, Thomas Massie, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Andy Biggs, Michael Cloud, Andrew Clyde, Warren Davidson, Louie Gohmert, Bob Good, Paul Gosar, Andy Harris, Jody Hice, Mary Miller, Barry Moore, Ralph Norman, John Rose, Matt Rosendale, Chip Roy, and Greg Steube.

I know. A lot of names on that list truly come as a surprise. In case you’re a Republican, that was sarcasm.

Gerald Connolly, a Democrat from Virginia, said, “They voted to overturn the election. But in their vote today, they kind of sealed the deal of basically affiliating with the mob.” Dude, every single Republican who professes loyalty to Donald Trump, says he’s the leader of their party, rushes to Mar-a-Lago for a photo-op with the goon, and says he won the election has sealed the deal of siding with terrorists. They bought that puppy, put it in a box, giftwrapped it, didn’t poke any any airholes into the box, and mailed it without a return address.

Connolly also said, “They now are part of the insurrectionist mob. They brought enormous disrepute and dishonor on themselves in not honoring the brave men and women who defended the Capitol of the United States—everybody in it, but also defending the symbol of democracy in the world, not just here in the United States.”

Putin would be proud.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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