Halloween

Boo Manchin


Cjones10312021President Biden’s Build Back Better package, chock-full of juicy social goodness, started at $3.5 trillion over a decade. Thanks to Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, who are both trying to protect billionaires from increased taxes, the plan has been cut down to less than $2 trillion. The two turncoats were at the White House last night and will return today to try to whittle it down even more. They’re bringing more tricks than treats.

According to reports, Manchin wants to cut it down to $1.5 trillion over ten years and add cuts to plans for Medicare expansion, Medicaid expansion and paid leave. Sinema is probably on board with all this. At this rate, you may not see or feel anything from Build Back Better. They may have to rename it “Build Back Somewhat.” Will climate subsidies and universal pre-K, and child tax credit survive the Manchin/Sinema slashing? Will we see anything progressive left in this package or will it all be candy corn?

Nobody likes candy corn, except Laura, one of my proofers. She told me I should take out candy corn and replace it with raisins. I do agree that getting raisins from trick-or-treating sucks. But according to online polls, there is no greater Halloween suck than candy corn. Sure, you have your wax lips and cola bottles, Mounds, 3 Musketeers, Milky Ways, wrapped butterscotch, black licorice, red vines, circus peanuts, and necco wafers, but candy corn is the all-time winner for most-hated Halloween candy. 

Even though raisins are called “nature’s candy,” they’re not candy. And getting tiny boxes of them is almost as bad as getting toothbrushes from the old ladies in your neighborhood. If old ladies don’t give out butterscotch candies, they give out toothbrushes. 

The best Halloween candy by far are Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I bought some this year but…I bought them too early. 

Now, for the Amtrak story: I promised on my YouTube channel that I’d tell the story in my blog. There isn’t enough time for an Amtrak story in my videos. So, this is me keeping my promise, mostly to viewer Akenta, who brought it back up and is a very loyal reader. She counts all the people when I draw crowds. You don’t do that, do you? I didn’t think so. 

I went to Washington, DC last week. I took the train. It’s after you get on the train that they scan your ticket. My ticket was in my phone. Somewhere between Fredericksburg and Quantico, an Amtrak dude came by, scanned the image of the code on my phone, and his scanner thingy went “beep.” I saw him do it. I heard the beep. We both moved on with our lives. This was last Saturday.

I came back on the train on Monday. I bought a round-trip so it was the same code on my phone. Again, an Amtrak scanner dude came by, tried to scan my phone, and it wouldn’t beep. He told me there was a problem as my reservation did not exist anymore. He gave me a phone number and told me I had to straighten it out with Amtrak or I’d be kicked off the train at the next stop, which was Woodbridge…where my ex-girlfriend lives. Man, don’t dump me in Woodbridge. To be fair, the guy didn’t use the word “kick.” But it was definitely implied I would be removed with much force, anger, and aggression. The other passengers would later have something to talk about. “Ever see a political cartoonist get forcibly removed from a train? I have. There was a lot of cursing.”

Despite there being Amtrak people being on the Amtrak train I was on, I had to call Amtrak people at another location. Somehow, this was my responsibility for their mistake. As I was on hold, the scanner dude came back to tell me he figured out the problem. He then scanned my phone and it worked. He explained my ticket was NOT scanned on the first leg of my trip, which made Amtrak cancel the entire trip. I told the guy I saw the first person scan it and heard the beep, this Amtrak dude kept telling me I had not and it never happened. I wanted to throw him off the train like he was Danny DeVito’s momma (did you see that movie? Do you get the reference? There was a train and Danny DeVito recruited Billy Crystal to help him throw his momma off it while it was moving. Near the end, the plan was for Billy Crystal to throw Momma from the train and on the way back to his seat, get Danny a Chunky, which is also much better than candy corn). 

Then, this Amtrak fucker gave me a huge lecture about how when my ticket is scanned, I need to make sure the Amtrak employee doing it did it right. Then he repeated the lecture over and over. When he was done, I asked him if he could show me that he scanned my ticket correctly. He told me I could trust him because he’s an Amtrak employee and I didn’t have to check on him. I think that’s Amtrak logic. Choo-choo!

It’s not a passenger’s job to make sure Amtrak employees are doing their jobs. Am I required to make sure the conductor is conducting it in the right direction? Is it up to me to make sure the train went to Washington and not Alburquerque like some wayward rabbit? I feel enough pressure to see something say something. Also, I should not have had the responsiblity or hassle to call Amtrak to straighten out a situation they messed up, and get it corrected minutes before the next stop or get kicked off the train. The option menu would take longer than that. “Press ‘7’ if you’re trying to avoid being thrown off a moving train…”

Yes, I wrote a complaint detailing the entire situation to Amtrak. You should be proud because I only used “fuck” twice in it.

Creative note: This cartoon is dated for October 31 which means I will not be drawing any more Halloween cartoons for this year unless CNN wants one for this Sunday. I have a pet peeve about fellow cartoonists drawing holiday cartoons AFTER the holiday.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

BannonWeenie


Cjones10302021

Trump goon Steve Bannon is in contempt of Congress and Attorney General Merrick Garland is probably going to take action that sends Bannon to the jail for goons.

Bannon is avoiding testifying before Congress, claiming Donald Trump has enacted executive privilege to keep him from testifying about the January 6 insurrection to prevent the certification of President Biden’s victory over Trump, overturn an election, destroy democracy, and install the Great Racist Pumpkin as a fascist dictator.

Bannon also claims he didn’t have anything to do with planning the Trump white nationalist mob attack. Yeah, and Linus didn’t have anything to do with Sally missing Halloween candy to sit in a pumpkin patch all night waiting on some nonexistent bullshit and to ultimately only see a beagle. She was robbed and has a legal case.

Steve Bannon was NOT working for the president (sic) of the United States at the time of the attack. He may have worked for the campaign and plotted with them, but that’s NOT an official function. He is not Trump’s lawyer or a lawyer at all. He was not a member of the administration. So, Donald Trump can’t cite executive privilege over Steve Bannon’s testimony. Also, Donald Trump is not the president. He can’t cite executive privilege any more than I can.

For example: It’s five days before Halloween. I bought three bags of Halloween candy for trick-r-treaters. Is any of it left? I cite executive privilege and refuse to answer that question.

Also, why cite executive privilege? Trump and Bannon both say they didn’t plan the insurrection yet they don’t want to answer questions about planning the insurrection. I mean, if they’re trying to enact executive privilege, that means they gots shit they don’t want to answer for.

There was a “command center” for overturning the election on January 6. It was in a bunch of suites at the Willard hotel in Washington, a block from the White House (my hotel on election night was three blocks from the White House and I plotted out cartoons while eating a large Italian sub). The people involved at the Willard planning the coup attempt were Rudy Giuliani, former NYC police commissioner Bernard Kerik, John Eastman (who’s a Trump goon scholar of some sort), One America News reporter Christina Bobband who was working as a campaign volunteer (wait. You can’t be a journalist and a campaign volunteer), White House special assistant Boris Epshteyn (there’s always a Boris in Trump word), and…wait for it…Steve Bannon. If there’s a trail of shit, Steve Bannon will be found at the end of it. It’s right next to that trail of Rudy’s hair dye.

While these goons were conducting efforts with members of Congress and state legislators to overturn the election, they mostly needed an angry mob to get the job done. If Mike Pence wasn’t going to stop the certification, an angry mob would at least delay it, though the idea was to stop it. It’s rare an angry mob shows up by itself. You’re thinking of flash mobs.

To get an angry mob to show up, first you have to make them angry. You start by lying and telling them they were robbed like Sally was when she was sold a Great Pumpkin and only got a beagle in goggles. In addition to Donald Trump tweeting for them to be there (it’s gonna be “wild”), the Willard fuckers had Steve Bannon riling them up on his podcast.

Steve Bannon may possibly go to prison. But, I don’t want Steve Bannon to go to prison…as a sacrifice so others don’t. Sure, send Bannon to jail, but don’t send him alone. And these people don’t need to go to prison just because they refused a congressional subpoena. No. They need to go to prison for so much more.

These people attempted a coup. They were willing to have people die to install a dictator. They tried to destroy our democracy and Constitution. A lot of people don’t just deserve to go to prison, but must go. It is imperative we send people to prison who tried to overturn the government through a bloody coup. These include goons such as Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani. Everyone in the Willard plotting the coup. Representatives working with the racist insurrectionists such as Marjorie Taylor Green, Louie Gohmert, Lauren Boebert, and pedo-in-training Matt Gaetz. Finally, we should send the person to prison whose crimes outweigh everyone else’s. We need to convict and incarcerate the former president (sic) of the United States.

The Great Pumpkin will not be reinstated. There is no constitutional method for that. But there are laws to throw the racist Great Pumpkin in prison.

Lock them up.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

No Treats With Bannon


CNN10242021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Two thing I really like drawing are Steve Bannon and Pumpkins. I just wish Steve Bannon would also only show up once a year. I actually wish the likes of him would never show up, you know…white nationalists, Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, Klansmen, Nazis, Texas, Trumpers, Texans…people like that. And, right now, we need Bannon to show up and testify before Congress. Maybe what the January 6 Committee should do is tell Steve Bannon they don’t want to hear from them. Then, he’ll be there and he’ll never stop talking.

As for how things stand, I’m very comfortable with the fact Steve Bannon may go to prison. I hear there are a lot of Nazis in prison, so he’ll be fine. He has friends.

As I posted above, this cartoon is for CNN. But I wanted to draw another Bannon/Halloween cartoon for my clients and I just finished it. I’ll blog it soon, but let me get this one out first.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

I Got A Rock


Cjones10222021

So, you may have heard of this supply chain crisis. You may have noticed it yourself while out shopping for a Jason Voorhees Halloween mask and not finding one. You may have noticed shelves in stores bare of any Halloween candy other than candy corn. You may have seen footage on the news of cargo ships backed up in harbors and shipping ports. You may have heard someone on Fox News or a meme-making moron blame President Joe Biden even though it’s a global issue. So, what’s happening and why is it happening?

First off, it is a global thing. It’s not just happening here in the United States. Also, it’s not new. Sure, it’s the first you think you’re hearing of it but just because you’re just now hearing about it (think of that as first-world privilege) doesn’t mean it hasn’t been happening.

But you have heard about it. Do you remember way back so long ago in early 2020? Do you remember when you couldn’t find toilet paper and you had to wipe with paper towels until you ran out of paper towels? You couldn’t find hand sanitizer or face masks either. That was a supply-chain issue. Do you remember who was president then? You do? Good. So, why is this supply-chain issue now President Biden’s fault but the supply-chain issue of 2020 wasn’t President (sic) Trump’s fault?

A lot of the goods are being made. They exist. They’re out there. They’re out there in the ocean on boats with each waiting its turn to dock and be unloaded. The ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach (I’ve been there to picked up a Hyundai I shipped from Honolulu, and the crew left garbage in it and the interior smelled like hobo sex) processes 40 percent of all imported goods. In case you’re a Republican, “import” means it’s coming in. “Export” means it’s going out. Right now, the flow of imports has overloaded the ports’ capacity to unload it.

This all began with the pandemics with factories and shipping shut down and cut off in China, Vietnam, and other places where children work for a nickel a day. China’s shutdown of one major port led to others being shut down. Now, there’s even a shortage of shipping containers. You may have heard some smartass say that American-made products don’t get stuck in a harbor…well, the shipping container thing has complicated issues for U.S. agriculture too. Remember when I explained that import-export thing? Yeah, well we export produce, genius.

And (this part may freak you out), there’s a semiconductor shortage which means a lot of computer parts aren’t going out. This affects everything from cars to computer to smart TVs to your smart phone. Apple is cutting back iPhone 13 production by ten million. Maybe Christmas is screwed, if you’ve only been mouthing the Jesus part of it when all along it’s always been about getting stuff. This supply-chain crisis going to make great fodder for the War-on-Christmas mouthbreathers.

Simply put, the entire thing began when you could not go out during the pandemic. Remember how you couldn’t go out to a nice restaurant for a fine meal? Remember when you couldn’t go to the movies and buy $12.00 popcorn? Remember when you couldn’t go on a vacation and contract some tropical disease or hurl over the side of a cruise ship? Remember when you couldn’t go to a nasty bar and pick up some strange? Remember when you stayed home sitting on your ass at your computer and kept ordering shit from Amazon? That’s why you can’t get nothing now.

The supply-chain crisis is because we buy a lot of shit. We bought more stuff during the pandemic. Those stimulus checks helped. Who got through the pandemic without buying an air fryer? Well, I did but only because those things are huge and I live in a studio apartment. But I did buy a blender I’ve only used twice, a cast-iron skillet, another frying pan, a toaster, a cutting board, some nice knives, quite a few mixing bowls, one of those things you put an egg in and nuke to make your own McMuffin, and a wok…but no air fryer (in my defense, I also had just moved here and didn’t have any kitchen stuff other than a few plates, bowls, and silverware). I also gained about 30 pounds. I’m blaming that on the pandemic too.

The economy has been growing but this shortage will hurt it. A business can’t stay in business if it doesn’t have anything to sell. But we will get through this. I have a prediction: After Christmas, no one’s going to be talking about it anymore. In six months, you won’t remember it. MAGAts have already forgotten it started in 2020.

Note: When I was about 12 or so, I was a bit of a prankster. I know. Shocking. During this time of my adolescence, I wrapped a few small rocks in tinfoil and mixed them in with our Halloween candy and didn’t tell my mother. She unknowingly handed out a lot of rocks to trick-r-treaters and then wondered the next day why our house and car were egged and TP’ed. A few days later while going through the leftover candy, she discovered a tinfoil rock and put two-and-two together…long story short, I got in trouble. Kids hate getting rocks on Halloween almost as much as they hate getting candy corn.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are TWO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Covfefe Pumpkins


CNN10272019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Donald Trump may have set the record for most meltdowns in a single week in his administration.

He referred to the impeachment process, which is in the Constitution, as a “lynching.” He called Republicans who criticize him “human scum.” He referred to the emoluments clause, also in the Constitution, as “phony,” while comparing himself to George Washington. He told a crowd he was building a border wall in Colorado (in case you’re a Republican, Colorado is NOT on the border).

Trump’s problem, other than being corrupt and not very smart, is that he doesn’t have a defense of the charges he’s facing before Congress. All he’s done so far is attack the process and none of the allegations. The allegations are strong and from reliable, credible professionals with decades of government service. Trump, who has told over 13,000 lies, has no credibility.

One reason a president is impeached is to save the presidency.

Donald Trump was rotten before he came into office. If he’s not removed, he’ll rot the presidency.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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It’s The Great Racist Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!


cjones10262018

There’s something seriously wrong in this nation when the guy throwing about the word “socialism” to scare people define himself as a nationalist.

In the past, Trump said he didn’t want to use the word “nationalist” as he thought the “Trump brand” was a stronger label. Voting for a label instead of a leader is scary by itself, but this is how Trump sees himself, even after becoming president.

But, last night in Houston at one of his hate rallies, with extra hate because Ted Cruz was there, he finally defined himself as a nationalist. And to think, we had tiki torch Nazis marching in the streets before this. Steve Bannon is so happy.

Today, Trump said it’s not a code for “white” nationalist, and that he’s unfamiliar with that term and “nationalist” is a word that hasn’t been used much. Really?

It’s not just a word, but an ideology that’s been used by every dictator, strongman, and authoritarian throughout history, with the first coming to mind being Adolf Hitler. It’s always accompanied by a fear campaign of “us vs. them.” In Trump’s case, brown people.

At this point I have to wonder, when do these people just openly admit they’re Nazis?

Personally, I’d rather be a socialist than a nationalist.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Angel Of Bannon


cjones10312017

Steve Bannon might just be Mitch McConnell’s worst nightmare. Not so much that he can remove him as Majority Leader of the Senate, but that he may run enough racist, right-wing, lunatic, freakazoids who will make the GOP lose the actual majority.

Let’s take a look at Alabama where Democrats never, ever, ever, ever, ever win…and thanks to Steve Bannon, they’re leading in the polls.

Right-wing extremists are the majority of voters in Republican primaries. In 2010, they gave the Senate nomination to Joe Miller in Alaska, only to lose to the incumbent Republican, who he beat in the primary, by a write-in ballot. People who are normally too lazy to even vote, got off their ass and wrote in “Murkowski” on a ballot. Alaskan voters hated the idea of Miller so much that they got off their asses and learned how to spell “Murkowski.” This is a state that thought making Sarah Palin governor was a great idea.

Roy Moore is the lunatic backed by Bannon in Alabama. He ousted the incumbent in a special primary election and now the race is tight. Alabama may not want to send a bleeding-heart liberal to represent them in the United States Senate, but they may be able to live with a moderate Democrat over a judge who was kicked off the bench twice.

Bannon is now aiming his sights on Mississippi, Nevada, Arizona, and Wisconsin. And, despite the racist wolf-whistle ads by the Republican nominee for Virginia’s governor, he wasn’t Bannon’s pick. That guy was even scarier.

If Bannon’s guys win their primaries, then Democrats may take seats in states where they didn’t stand much of a chance. The Republicans may lose their majority. Of, if they have enough victories, they can make life really hard on McConnell, and even worse…encourage more racist Bannon/Trump goons in the future.

Can you imagine the Senate full of racist idiots who don’t know how anything works? What about governors across the nation?

This is why Democrats and Independents need to vote in off-years and mid-term elections. While it might be fun to see the chaos and draw cartoons about it, it’s worse for our nation. Nobody wants to see America resemble 1930 Germany.

Don’t let these idiots win their elections. It’s bad enough now that we have to get rid of the big orange one sitting in the executive branch.

Creative Notes: I was working on a cartoon about the JFK Files and then I was struck with this idea. I’m planning on taking Saturday night off for a movie and ice cream, so I was going to put this Halloween cartoon off until Sunday night and publish it Monday morning. Then I realized that the cartoon I was working on was dated for the 31st, Halloween. That meant the Halloween cartoon would be dated for November 1st. I felt weird dating a Halloween cartoon for November, even though a lot of cartoonists will continue drawing Halloween cartoons the first week of November. I hate those. Hell, I saw a Thanksgiving-themed cartoon earlier this week. It also occurred to me that if editors like this cartoon, then they probably need to receive it today.

That’s all the geeky business side of cartooning. I do like the other cartoon I was working on so I’ll probably finish it. It’s already lettered.

Last creative note: The kid as the mummy was a late addition to this cartoon. I realized I can’t remember the last time I drew a mummy and then I really wanted to draw a mummy.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

The Great Trumpkin


cjones10262016

I came up with this idea last week when It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was shown on TV again, the same night as the last debate. I had about twelve other things on the table at the time so I let it slide. Now I just wanted to do draw it. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone else has already done a variation of it, but I haven’t seen it.

This is the second time in less than a week I’ve drawn a character from Peanuts. Sorry, Charlie. I plan to draw another cartoon later tonight (my regular schedule) so this is a quick one. It only took me an hour and a half to draw.

I love Peanuts. I just need to meet a girl who loves Snoopy, the Cubs, and Nirvana and I’ll be set.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!