Greg Abbott

Happy Birthday, Jesus

Another thing I find revolting about Republicans is that they spend the entire year being as vile as humanly possible, and then on Christmas and Easter, they’re all about Jesus.

I scrolled through Twitter yesterday and saw posts from the most despicable, like Lauren Boebert, Ted Cruz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Gaetz praising Jesus and celebrating Christmas, after spending an entire year lying their gaslighting balls off and wishing evil shit on people.

But none of those goons have the power to be as evil as Donald Trump, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, or Texas Governor Greg Abbott. Each of these men was or is presently in an executive position where he can order government agencies to hurt people. And they do it for their own political fortunes.

Trump made it a policy to separate families and put children in cages. DeSantis went out of his way to deport refugees, not from the state he’s actually governor of, but from Texas to Martha’s Vineyard. Trust me, Ron…Texas has enough assholes that it doesn’t need your efforts, case in point…Greg Abbott. Abbott started the Republican trend of shipping migrants and refugees to sanctuary cities, but what he did over the past weekend might be the evilest thing he’s done so far.

On Christmas day, Greg Abbott tweeted a photo of himself and his beautiful family saying “From our family to yours, Merry Christmas.” He also tweeted, “May the hopeful promise of our Savior’s birth bring comfort & joy to you & your family.” He and his family looked warm and cozy in that photo.

But a few hours before that tweet, buses from Texas with 130 refugees, many dressed in only T-shirts, were dropped off in front of the vice president’s residence in Washington, D.C. in sub-zero conditions without any advance notice.

I’m not a Jesus expert and I don’t claim to be a Christian so I can’t tell you what Jesus would do, but he wouldn’t do this.

Officials in New York City received an advance warning these refugees were coming, and that might be why they were re-routed to D.C. Republicans have to make these stunts as cruel as possible.

White House spokesperson Abdullah Hasan accused Abbott of having “abandoned children on the side of the road in below-freezing temperatures” on Christmas Eve without coordinating with any federal or local authorities. You can’t claim this is to help people when you don’t give any advance notification. You also can’t claim it’s to help them when you kick them out of the bus in these temperatures and then abandon them.

There are fair points to the arguments that border states carry an unfair burden in dealing with immigration, and they do deserve more support from the federal government, but this isn’t a solution. There are other ways to make that point than being cruel to the most vulnerable…but maybe the point is to be cruel. Republicans love that shit. Abbott won re-election last month with nearly 55 percent of the vote from Texans. The majority of Texans are all about yee-hawing this sort of cruelty.

Responding to Abbott’s Christmas day tweet, Jon B. Wolfsthal, a senior adviser at Global Zero and ex-adviser to then-Vice President Biden, tweeted: “Did you tweet this before or after you shipped 130 migrants to DC with no extra clothes on the coldest night of the year—which also happened to be Christmas?”

Photojournalist Paul Gillespie replied to Abbott’s Christmas post, tweeting, “Dude, really? You just sent three bus loads of would be Mary and Joseph’s from TX to NY on 9 degree Christmas eve. You all got to stop playing the Christian card. You go against everything he preached. At least the inn keeper let them stay in the manger.”

One user on Twitter posted, “There’s nothing Christian or loving about stunts like this, Greg. In fact, it’s more like Herod than anything else in the Christmas story. I feel sick.”

Amy Fischer, an organizer with The Migrant Solidarity Mutual Aid Network, said, “It really does show the cruelty behind Governor Abbott and his insistence on continuing to bus people here without care about people arriving late at night on Christmas Eve when the weather is so cold. People are getting off the buses, they don’t have coats, they don’t have clothes for this kind of weather, and they’re freezing.”

Living in the Washington area, I can assure you it was freezing and painfully cold on Christmas Eve. The temps weren’t just in the teens and below, it was windy. I walked to a party Friday night and the conditions were physically painful.

Greg Abbott and other Republicans are trying to make a point about immigration, but the only point they’re making is that they’re assholes. And that may be the point they’re really trying to prove because their base loves it. But I bet Jesus doesn’t.

You can’t convince people you’re a Christian or love the messages of Jesus when you’re hurting the most vulnerable for a political stunt.

1 John 3:17 says, “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?” God’s love doesn’t abide in the hearts of Republicans, but they do like to tweet photos pretending it does.

And you don’t own the libs by being an asshole.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 17 days left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Here’s Quannah’s countdown clock.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Coyote Ugly

Texas Governor Greg Abbott is busing migrants to New York City and Washington, D.C. These migrants entered the United States through the Texas border with Mexico. Greg Abbott is blaming President Joe Biden for “open borders” despite the fact that until recently, Biden’s border policy was the same as Donald Trump’s.

Abbott has sent over 9,000 migrants to New York City and Washington, DC since “Operation Lone Star” began. He said in an August 19 press release, “Busing migrants out of Texas is a way to provide much-needed relief to our overwhelmed border communities.”

And that press release was the only warning the sanctuary cities received, proving this isn’t about humanitarian relief or providing relief to Texas’ border communities. This is a political stunt for Abbott and he’s using human beings running for their lives as political props. While the migrants will certainly do better under NYC Mayor Eric Adams than under Greg Abbott, the use of refugees as pawns should be cited as a human rights violation.

Imagine you wanted to build your reputation through a political stunt, such as kicking puppies and stealing candy from babies. Who in the world would you be trying to appeal to with those horrible actions? Assholes. You’d be seeking the love and approval of assholes. This is exactly what Abbott is doing. He’s appealing to goons. How do you get assholes to like you? By becoming an asshole.

This is just how low the Republican Party has devolved. Republicans love this stunt by Abbott. It has several things they hate. Abbott blames Biden, so there’s one box checked. He’s getting rid of brown immigrants which checks another box. And, he’s sending them to liberal cities in the north. Check, checkity, checkity, check. The only way he could make a stronger appeal to the asshole demographic would be to bus woke vegetarian school teachers along with the cast of “A League of Their Own,” the TV series (it’s full of lesbians).

Another huge sign this is a stunt is the name, “Operation Lone Star,” which was chosen because “Operation Check out my Big Texas Penis” might have been slightly over the top and I believe “Operation Yee-Haw” has been used by now.

Another sign this is more of an asshole move than one of humanitarian relief is the fact Abbot didn’t give NYC or DC any warnings. Of course, not letting the liberal cities know thousands of migrants were coming until they arrived is another way to appeal to the asshole base. It’s really owning the libs, at the expense of migrants of course.

Sure, we all have a good time springing our kids on their grandparents now and then, especially after giving the toddlers Red Bulls, but you wouldn’t leave them there if grandma was going to eat them (my grandparents were worse. They made me watch Lawrence Welk). Here, Texas does not care about these migrants. They’re pawns to own the libs.

New York City and Washington, D.C. aren’t mad at the arrival of migrants because of who they are. They’re annoyed at the burden Texas is throwing on them. NYC and DC are already diverse places and they’ll be fine. Most of these migrants are amazing people, the kind of people you want in your neighborhood. Our diversity is our nation’s greatest strength which is something Republicans don’t understand.

But it’s still a dick move. Probably because Greg Abbott, like most Republican governors, is a dick.

Music note: I listened to The Eagles of Death Metal while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Texas Poo Step

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Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who is working hard to be even worse than Rick Perry, has decided the coronavirus pandemic is over and life can return to normal for Texans, or at least for those who didn’t die from the virus or freeze to death from last month’s abnormal cold snap.

The governor has reopened the state entirely without any limitations. This means you can sit at a bar inches next to a stranger. You can get a tattoo of Troy Aikman’s face above your butt crack. You can lick a stranger’s face while on a bus in Houston. You can now cough into the faces of your fellow gun enthusiasts while at the ammo store. You can dine inside a barbeque restaurant and eat barbeque that’s not as good as Memphis barbeque but still better than that North Carolina vinegar-based shit. You can hug your right-wing buddies at the border while looking at the spot where Donald Trump’s wall was never built that Mexico didn’t pay for. You can go to a strip club and have your eye poked out while receiving a lap dance from a girl named “Candy” who has a Russian accent. You can go to Amarillo and ask, “Why the fuck does anyone go to Amarillo?”. You can sit next to an ugly stranger on an international flight to Cancun and listen to him blame the trip on his daughters. Yes, life is returning to normal in Texas which means they’ll soon resume executing people with mental retardation on death row. Texas is a very special place. Sometimes, people in Florida look at Texas and say, “Damn.”

Everyone can sympathize that businesses want to get back to business. Everyone wants to go back to work, even those making just $7.25 an hour which is the minimum wage in Texas (even Florida raised theirs to $8.56). So the governor hastily has reopened the state…but at least that face mask mandate is still in effect. Do what now? He rescinded that too?

Greg Abbott has lifted the mask mandate which is an appeal to everyone who has politicized the virus or doesn’t believe it actually exists. This is also a good way to get people to stop talking about the freeze in the state last month where at least four million people lost power and many lost their lives. The state is still trying to count the deaths with some saying it was around 40 statewide while other officials say there were 86 deaths in Austin alone.

Now, we’re finding out that the governor, who is NOT a doctor or a scientist didn’t speak to any doctors or scientists when making his decision about reopening the state and removing the mask mandate. The governor has a team of four medical advisors and when told what the governor had done, each of them said, “He did what now? Holy fuckballs, I’m moving to Florida!”

I lied. He did talk to one out of the four and that one said it was probably a bad idea. Probably? President Joe Biden accused Abbott of “Neanderthal thinking.” And with all known variants of the coronavirus floating around Houston, the fourth largest city in the nation, removing face masks now is a Neanderthal move.

Texans seems to like putting idiots into power. Greg Abbott accused President Obama of “invading” Texas. During the power outage, he blamed the Green New Deal, which doesn’t exist. Then, he blamed the outage on wind turbines freezing. Wind turbines did freeze, but do you really believe the bulk of Texas’s power comes from green energy? What else do you believe, the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl next year? Wind turbines only account for about 13% of Texas energy and they don’t freeze in Greenland so, try again, Abbott. And then, everyone who didn’t lose power got $9,000 electric bills and said, “Holy fuckballs, I’m moving to Florida.”

Funny thing about all those electric bills: Republicans are all like, “Hey, federal government. Help those people with their bills” because the power companies have to get paid. There’s no talk of the power companies helping anyone.

Texas lost power because its power grid was deregulated. They didn’t want the federal government telling them how to do their power, so a few decades ago, they removed most of their power grids from being connected to other states. Defenders say we need to give this deregulated system of power grids time to stabilize, ignoring that it’s been about three decades already. Then, this state that talks about seceding and that they don’t need no federal control goes crying to the federal government for help anytime the wind whips up a little. Look at Ted Cruz for example. This guy votes against funding when blue states get hit by hurricanes yet begs for federal money every year when a hurricane hits Texas.

This is the state that deregulates everything, tells the nation’s businesses to come to Texas, especially if they’re from California, then has to investigate why a manure plant exploded and killed 15 people.

Yes, Texas? Why are your power grids freezing and your shit factories exploding? Since he’s full of shit, how come Ted Cruz never explodes?

If Texas was its own country, it would be a third-world nation. It would be controlled by climate-change-denying idiots…and Cowboy fans.

I want life to return to normal just as much as anyone else. We liberals do not want businesses to die. We don’t want the economy ruined. We want kids back in school just as bad as everyone else wants it. There are no parents with kids at home saying, “Boy, I hope schools never reopen. This has been so much fun having these kids in my face every single minute where I can’t even shut the bathroom door for three seconds without someone banging on it screaming, MOM!!!!” and…”

And just because conservatives base every decision on “making liberals cry,” that doesn’t mean we’re for face mask mandates because it makes you cry. We don’t need to make you cry. From Mr. Potato Head, to Muppets, to Dr. Seuss, to the WAP song, you cry about everything. We want people to stop dying, even the crying Neanderthals who couldn’t make a P get W A if their lives depended on it.

The best way to reopen everything is if we get rid of this virus. That means everyone should be vaccinated, stay six feet apart from each other, and keep your fucking face mask on your fucking face, fucker.

Of course, another good way to get rid of this virus is if we get rid of Republicans.

If you are in Texas, ignore your government. They’re stupid. Keep your mask on. Continue to practice social distancing. Listen to President Joe Biden. Listen to Dr. Another Fauci. Listen to Dolly Parton. DON’T listen to Ted Cruz. Stop rooting for the Cowboys.

And if you’re in Texas, watch where you step because there’s a lot of Republican bullshit.

Creative note: This cartoon began as they all do, in my head. And while it was in my head, all the speech balloons were coming from Greg Abbott. But then I had the fear people would think the “watch where you step” line was a cheap crack at him for being in a wheelchair. I’m not above delivering a cheap shot when I feel it fits, but not over something like that. So this morning, the cow pie concept came to me and I decided to go that route even though I normally HATE drawing feces and urine. Ew. A lot of cartoonists do it but I’m just not a fan of it. This is another example of me breaking my own rules.

Other note: I know you’re googling the WAP song.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Let’s Mess With Texas

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A whole bunch of people, even the governor, in my birth state of Texas believe that U.S. military exercises there means Obama plans for a federal takeover of the Lone Star State and declare martial law. There are rumors Chinese soldiers are sneaking into the state and holding up in five temporarily closed Wal-Marts.

It must be true. It’s even gotten Chuck Norris riled up and you know what a rational mind that guy has.

Governor Greg Abbott has ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor the military exercises known as Jade Helm 15, as though the Texas State Guard could fight the Army and Marines…or would. I have some bad news for Governor Abbott. The federal government took control of Texas in 1845 and again in 1865. He could read a history book. I mean a history book not edited for Texas schools.

Former governor and former forgetful presidential candidate, and future presidential candidate, Rick Perry even ridiculed the paranoia.

How about that, Texas. You’re finally free from a governor dumber than a bag hammers and elected an even dumber one. You know what they say, “everything’s bigger in Texas.” Even the stupid. As a political cartoonist, I do appreciate the gifts in subject material they keep giving me.

Isn’t it bizarre that you can show these people scientific proof of something like Global Warming and they won’t believe. Give them an idea of a conspiracy, without any proof or substance, like Obama is born in Kenya, or he’s a socialist, or he’s taking guns away, or he’s invading Texas and the wing nuts eat it up.

I had this cartoon idea last night but I had to finish up another cartoon first. I thought I might be the first cartoonist to cover it. Now I think I might be one of the last.