Golf

Caddy Hacks


Saudi Arabia is attempting to repair its reputation with the world after decades of bloody human rights violations. The future king of the nation, Mohammed bin Salman, is directly responsible for the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a Saudi national who was a journalist for The Washington Post and under U.S. protection. So, what’s the best way for a nation with decades of human rights violations to make friends with the rest of the planet again? Stop abusing human rights? Of course not. No, the best way is to engage in sports. Saudi Arabia is “sportwashing” its reputation.

The oil-rich kingdom has bought an English Premier League soccer team, Newcastle United. They built a new race track in Jeddah and now have the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, a Formula One racing event. World Wrestling Entertainment has been holding pay-per-view events in Saudi Arabia, even allowing the kingdom to decide if women can perform and if they do, how they dress. And, now the kingdom has golf.

A lot of people are upset over Saudi Arabia becoming involved in international sports. Mostly, they’re upset that so many people have a price to look away from human rights violations. The PGA is very upset over the new golf league, though their anger is probably less about human rights and more about competition.

The PGA has banned golfers who choose to play for LIV. That didn’t stop golf legend Greg Norman from becoming LIV’s CEO.

Another golf legend, Phil Mickelson, criticized Saudi Arabia’s human rights record and called the Saudis “scary motherfuckers to be involved with.” They are so scary that it takes about $200 million to get over that fear. That’s the reported contract Mickelson signed to join LIV golf.

Mickelson said, “I don’t condone human rights violations. I don’t know how else I can be any more clear.” Ooh, ooh, ooh…I know! You could be more clear that you don’t condone human rights violations by NOT taking blood money from Saudi Arabia. But maybe I just don’t understand golf.

Even though I don’t understand golf that well, I do understand that you don’t go into business with people who take a bone saw and dismember their critics. I try not to go into business with scary motherfuckers. I have the same policy of not going into business with Trumpers. I’m still owed over $2,000 the last time I did that (though I went into that agreement not realizing they were MAGAts).

It’s no surprise that Vince McMahon, the founder of the WWE and creator of Wrestlemania has a price to overlook human rights violations. I mean, this guy has been making billions for decades in an industry that sends his performers to early graves. Seriously, wrestlers have a habit of dying before 60. And it’s no surprise that Donald Trump has a price to ignore human rights violations. He displayed that when he was gooning up the White House and hosted MBS in the Oval Office. And since the PGA does have somewhat of a conscience and has pulled out of holding tournaments at Trump’s crappy golf resorts over his racism and insurrections, he has no problem taking LIV’s blood money to host a tournament at Doral.

You’re probably familiar with Trump National Doral in Miami by its catchphrase, “Ask us about our bedbugs.” That resort has been in financial decline for years. In 2019, it was reported that its operating income had fallen by 69 percent. Being the grifter he is, Trump tried to host the G7 Summit at Doral. Trump’s name is about as enticing as the opportunity to sleep with bedbugs.

Grifting runs in the family. After four years of making excuses for Saudi Arabia’s murders and helping them procure arms deals with the U.S, Jared Kushner has been given $2 billion as an “investment” from the Saudis. Now, his wife’s father gets his kickback from the Saudi government.

Normally, the only way Trump can pump cash into Doral is by holding campaign events, funded by the Trump Campaign, which is funded by his supporters. Before you label Trump as a genius grifter, keep in mind that the people he’s grifting are morons. Doral is also the home for the $10,000 portrait of Trump he bought for himself with money from the Trump charity.

How much is Trump being paid by MBS to host one of their crappy golf tournaments at Club Itchy-n-Scratchy (I bet you a MyPillow none of the Saudi royals actually spend the night at Doral)? I don’t know yet but don’t make a mistake about it. This is a bribe. And, it’s a legal bribe. The Saudi monarchs are paying Trump off for all he did for them while he was president (sic). His first foreign trip as “president” was to Saudi Arabia. Remember the sword dance and Trump with and the royals next to the creepy glowing globe?

Saudi money goes a long way. You saw how easy it was for Phil Mickelson to go from “scary mothers” to “pay me.” Now even President Biden, pressured by oil prices, has gone from promising to make Saudi Arabia a pariah to planning a visit to the nation where he’ll probably sit down for a chat with Captain Bonesaw himself, Mohammed bin Salman.

Don’t expect Saudi Arabia to comply with basic human rights any time soon.

Music Note: This one took a while to draw so I had time to listen to music. I listened to a lot of Foo Fighters because I discovered their B-sides and demos, which I haven’t listened to in about two decades because they’ve been hard to find, are now on Apple Music.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fetch, Devin, Fetch


CjonesRGB12112021

After being Donald Trump’s ball boy over the past five years, Devin Nunes has resigned from Congress and is mooving to become Trump’s ball boy in the private sector (see what I did there with the “moo?”). He probably figures he can do a better job of lying for Donald Trump from his future social media platform than from a seat in Congress. Devin is going to work for Donald Trump. Of course, he’s always worked for Trump but now it’s official.

Devin is taking a serious gamble here. The first gamble is: The Republican Party can win back the House in 2022 which would make Devin Nunes the chairman of the most powerful committee in Congress, the Ways and Means Committee. But that’s probably boring compared to barking out bullshit and waging legal fights with fictional cows.

But then again, Devin may not be re-elected in 2022 as his district’s map is changing.

The other gamble for Devin Nunes is he’s leaving Congress to become CEO of Trump’s upcoming social media platform, Truth Social. Yeah, I know. “Truth”? They should call it “Bullshit Social.” But, this platform may not ever come to exist.

Truth Social was supposed to debut last November, but where is it? The domains created for it were attacked by hackers on their first day of existence. The company has already violated its software agreement (shocking). The stock options for the company are like a shell game and are already under investigation by the SEC. A lot of people bought stocks not realizing they were buying into a Trump venture. That’s like buying a house before realizing it’s haunted by Jerry Lewis. “Hey, Laaaaaaaaaaaaaady!”

This is Trump’s second venture into social media. Do you remember his first one after leaving office? Exactly!

Trump started this weird thing where he’d create posts from “The Desk of Donald J. Trump,” which was on the site from his super PAC. The idea was for it to be exactly like Twitter…if Twitter mugged you each time you went on the platform. Each post was supposed to be under 280 characters so his cult could share them on other platforms, mostly Twitter and Facebook. It was supposed to be a “communications” platform but there was no way anyone could post a reply under Trump’s post or do any actual communicating. This was designed so nobody could hurt Trump’s feelings or point out he had just self-owned himself like he did last week with an “official” statement that said, “Anybody that doesn’t think there wasn’t massive Election Fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election is either very stupid, or very corrupt!” Yup, he called himself very stupid and very corrupt. We already knew that. It’s nice when Trump does it for us so we don’t have to.

I digress. This “From the Desk of Donald J. Trump” shit didn’t last and hits to the site started decreasing after the very first day it launched. Within two weeks, it had less than 10 percent of the interaction it had on its first day. Michael Flynn’s tenure in the White House lasted longer than “From the Desk of Donald Trump.”

Devin better hope this new venture doesn’t go the way of From the Desk of Donald Trump, or Trump Steaks, Trump Wine, Trump Airlines, etc, etc.

The third gamble here is: Trump stiffs people. I’m not talking about the kind of stiffing where he has to get a cheap lawyer like Michael Cohen to draft non-disclosure agreements for. I’m talking about the way he stiffs contractors. Trump, who cares so much about working stiffs, has a long history of stiffing working stiffs. Trump has probably stiffed more blue-collar workers than he’s draw-dogged porn stars while being married to Melania.

You may think Devin has been working for Trump for free all these years anyway, so so what. But, that’s not true. We’ve been paying Devin Nunes to wash Trump’s balls over the past five years.

When Nunes was chair of the House Intelligence Committee, he constantly worked to protect Trump. He didn’t want to investigate Russian interference in the 2016 election. He didn’t want to investigate Michael Flynn’s ties to Russia. He didn’t want to investigate the Trump Campaign’s collusion with Russia. When Nunes learned more about Russian ties to the Trump campaign, before he shared it with the rest of the Intelligence Committee, he ran to the White House to tell Donald Trump. He blamed investigators for investigating. He issued a four-page memo claiming the FBI had an anti-Trump bias for investigating Trump goon Carter Page instead of having an anti-Russian spy bias. Nunes was investigated by the House Ethics Committee for disclosing classified information, but the GOP-led committee dropped the investigation since Nunes wouldn’t give them all the documents they wanted. Seriously.

Devin Nunes even went to London in an attempt to meet with the heads of MI5, MI6, and the General Communications Headquarters to get dirt on Christopher Steele, the author of the Steele Dossier, alleging Trump paid Moscow hookers to pee on him. Ironically, each agency told Nunes to piss off. Maybe he just wanted to know the going rate for having Trump pee on him.

During the first Trump impeachment, Nunes went to Europe to meet with Ukrainians to try to get dirt on Joe Biden. He also claimed Ukraine meddled in the 2016 election. His trip was supposed to be a secret but it was exposed by CNN and The Daily Beast. Nunes claimed they broke the law by reporting his secret trip. He later attempted to sue CNN and fellow Congressman, Ted Lieu, for reporting and talking about his relationship with Trump goon, Lev Parnas. Lieu was excited about the lawsuit as it would force Nunes to disclose his contacts and other interesting information in depositions. All these lawsuits were thrown out.

Nunes loves frivolous lawsuits which bring us to the cow.

Devin Nunes sued two Twitter parody accounts, one titled “Devin Nunes’ Mom” and the other “Devin Nunes’ Cow.” The cow won.

Now, Devin’s going to work for a social media website that, pay attention, has its users agree the Trump platform is not responsible for shit they post. This is something Devin and Donald Trump both opposed while in office. Donald Trump always wanted to blame the platforms any time someone would write something like, oh, I don’t know…maybe something like, “Donald Trump is the demon spawn of an orange Nazi shitgibbon.” Devin never liked being asked on Twitter, “Hey, Devin…did you notice what Trump had for lunch today while your head was up his ass?” Of course, that question was rhetorical and was asked just to annoy Devin. We all know the answer is Big Macs.

Devin is giving up the potential to wield huge power in Washington for what he believes will be huge power in social media. But how much power will he really have after going to work for Fox News in six months because Truth Social could never compete against 4-chan or Telegram?

Fox News does pay but he’ll still have to have his head up Trump’s ass. That won’t be a problem because apparently, he likes it there.

Moo.

Creative note: I listened to The Shins, The Cranberries, The Dandy Warhols, and Hall and Oates

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Poker Face


cjones12292020

When Congress sent a $900 billion stimulus bill to the White House, Donald Trump called it a “disgrace” and wailed that it contained too much pork and not enough money for individual taxpayers. He was upset the checks for Americans would only be $600 and not $2,000. This “disgrace” was a bill he had approved.

Sure, Trump wasn’t personally involved in the negotiations between the House, Senate, and White House, but his team was. They were representing him. The stamp of approval they put on the bill before it was voted on was Trump’s stamp (which is similar to a tramp stamp). Granted, he was never going to actually read the bill, but he was informed of the specifics. He must not have paid attention because a lot of the stuff he griped about wasn’t even in that bill, but instead, the general spending bill.

He spent a week indicating he would not sign it. There was concern people wouldn’t get the help they need and that the government would shut down. The House and Senate would have to scramble to override Trump which would delay helping Americans. Congress initially had the votes to override a veto by a chaos president (sic), but there was legitimate concern that Republican sycophants would change their yes votes to no votes out of fear of being mean-tweeted. And while Democrats are all in favor of giving each of us $2,000, Republicans are not. By nature, Republicans are only in favor of giving money to billionaire assholes, not to me and you.

Then on Sunday night, late into the evening, after a week of posturing and puffing up his chest, and playing golf, and more golf, and more golf, and more fucking golf, Donald Trump signed the stimulus bill and the general spending bill. A government shutdown was averted but unemployment benefits did run out.

Donald Trump issued a statement that he would be sending a “redlined” version of the bill, which is a version that includes things he wants taken out. His cult believes those things will be taken out because for some reason, Trump has more power alone than Congress or previous presidents. No, the bill is now law the way it is.

The MAGAts are still celebrating this as a Trump win, even though the delay has hurt Americans and once again, the self-described best negotiator didn’t get a thing he asked for. This is what happens when you install an idiot into the presidency.

Donald Trump should have signed the bill the day he received it and before he left for Florida to have a golfing Christmas. I hope an alligator eats his balls.

This man is so selfish. He couldn’t just sign the bill and help people. He had to be a jerk and make it all about himself. We are going to be so much better off without Donald Trump in the White House. Usually, when he’s on the golf course, he’s not breaking the nation apart. This time, he played golf to the detriment of the nation.

When George W. Bush was told of the attack on 9/11, he was reading “My Pet Goat” to schoolchildren in Florida. After being told that airplanes were flying into buildings, he continued to read “My Pet Goat” for several more minutes. But at least he eventually stopped reading about that goat to go back to work and do his job as president. Illiterate Donald Trump wouldn’t have been able to read the book and wouldn’t have paid any attention unless there were more pictures of him in the book than of the goat. Donald Trump would have made Americans wait until his interests were served first. Donald Trump spent a week on a golf course allowing unemployment benefits to expire. Donald Trump is not the GOAT.

As for Trump’s negotiating on the bill, he didn’t negotiate while it was being written. He sat on his orange ass fixated on his election loss and continued to spread debunked conspiracy theories. After it was written and sent to his desk, then he made demands. After a week, he signs the thing with demands. But, he’s a lame-duck president (sic). He has no power to force Congress to make changes to a bill that…wait for it…he has already signed. He has less than a month left in office which leaves no incentive for Congress to make changes a lame-duck demands.

When I was a teenager, I worked in a grocery store and telling me to mop seemed to be my boss’ favorite thing to do. After he quit, he walked into the store one day and told me I should mop the produce section. My first thought was, “Why is he here?” and my second was, “Screw that guy.” He had no more power and 16-year-old me was about to beat a man to death with a mop handle. Quite frankly, after living in fear for four years of mean tweets, Congressional Republicans should beat Trump with a mop handle.

If we charged people to beat Trump with a mop handle, we could pay off this budget, the relief bill, the national debt, restore our infrastructure, and even get a couple more useless aircraft carriers. I’d just hate to be at the end of that line…because I know I’d wait for my turn.

If Donald Trump really wanted that $2,000 for every American, he should have said something while the bill was being drafted. He would have had a lot of support from Democrats and the president-elect. The majority of Americans would have been behind it. For once, Americans and all those treasonous democracy-hating MAGAt bastards would have been on the same side of an issue. Everybody wants $2,000. Even the Republicans who would vote against you getting $2,000 will personally take $2,000.

We finish this segment of Trump chaos by asking…how much more chaos can he inflict over the next four weeks? Wanna make a bet? If you do make a bet, don’t be like Trump. When you make a poker face, make sure you’re playing poker.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist (me) and feel good about yourself, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

An Incalculable Loss


cjones05272020

During Memorial Day weekend, while the U.S. death toll from the coronavirus was nearing 100,000, and after he had called for the reopening of the nation’s churches, Donald Trump was playing golf. In fact, he hit the course that he owns in Virginia, twice. Quite frankly, I’m surprised he felt confident enough about his safety to play in Virginia since we can’t “protect our potatoes.” He also kinda looks like a giant sweet potato where the sweetness was substituted with racism.

The New York Times ran a front-page Sunday listing the victims of the coronavirus. Of course, they couldn’t all fit on the front page so it continued to the inside pages.

Donald Trump criticized President Obama for playing golf during the Ebola crisis. That crisis killed two people. Donald Trump promised during the 2016 election that he would be “too busy” to play golf. As it turns out now, he’s played more in three and a half years than Obama did in eight. He defended his golf playing last weekend in a rambling rant saying the media was making it sound like a “mortal sin” that he was going outside and  getting a “little exercise.” I’ve played golf. I don’t think it’s that much exercise to ride around in a golf cart. He doesn’t even walk to the green. He parks on it.

And then, Trump went on to attack President Obama for playing golf…after he had played golf. About the media’s scrutiny, Trump tweeted, “I knew this would happen!” Well, he should have known it was going to happen because he spent years attacking Obama for playing golf. What Donald Trump seems to miss was the criticism wasn’t over him playing golf. It was over him playing golf during this pandemic and as the death toll soared near 100,000. It’s hard to read between the lines if you’re incapable of even reading the lines.

About that death toll: During his golf-laden weekend at his own resort (where he got to once again charge the Secret Service for golf cart rentals), Trump spread a conspiracy theory accusing a TV news host of murder. He retweeted tweets that made fun of Nancy Pelosi’s “dentures,” that made cracks about Georgia’s Stacey Abrams “hitting every buffet” in that state,” and that called Hillary Clinton a “skank.” Do you know how many of Trump’s tweets mentioned the victims of the coronavirus? None. All his tweets were about him, skanks, Polident, and buffets. Do you remember when Trump promised after he was elected he’d be presidential? Trust me. He made that promise.

One of my colleagues, Steve Brodner, issued a challenge for American political cartoonists to draw Donald Trump teeing off on the front page of The New York Times. This is my offering.

I saw a Facebook post by a conservative MAGAt cartoonist who questioned this campaign. He wrote, “Can’t believe so many cartoonists doing someone else’s lame idea.” That guy kinda retired from drawing political cartoons, but that makes sense since he doesn’t get it’s not about one person’s lame idea. It’s a protest where the message is strengthened and made louder by the numbers involved. He gets there’s strength in numbers, right? He’s heard Trump’s lies about crowd sizes. I guess leaving a one-sentence criticism was a lot easier than actually thinking up and doing one defending his orange messiah.

I don’t know how large this campaign will become. So far, I’ve seen about 20 of these and you can see a bunch of them here at Steve’s Facebook page (again. Cartoonists. Get a website). There are some really great ones in that batch and I’m not referring to mine because my cartoon isn’t included.

I created the cartoon just for the social media campaign. I didn’t put a lot of thought into it. Afterward, I realized some of my clients might like it (one has already ran it) so I sent it to them. And since I didn’t realize it could be its own free-standing cartoon while I was doing it, I didn’t make a video of it. Sorry.

And since not everyone who reads me here follows me on social media, I figured I should go ahead and blog it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Fully Engaged


cjones09102019

Don’t worry about Hurricane Dorian, America. Donald Trump is “fully engaged” At least that’s what White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham said.

Trump decided to be fully engaged from a golf cart at his resort in Virginia. He went golfing twice over the weekend (first at Camp David but that was a bit too slummy for him) and demonstrated his full-on engagement by warning Alabama that the hurricane was coming. Except, it’s not going anywhere near Alabama and the National Weather Service replied to this tweet with a tweet of their own saying, “We repeat, no impacts from Hurricane Dorian will be felt across Alabama.”

Trump attacked an ABC reporter for reporting Trump’s bone-headed weather report and said, “Always good to be prepared.” Since Alabama is a state where Trump has high approval ratings, they’re probably nailing plywood to their windows up in Huntsville…and in Oklahoma.

The ABC reporter wasn’t the only victim of Trump’s weekend tweeting during a national crisis. He sent out 122 tweets since Saturday morning attacking the media, James Comey, “the Squad,” the AFL-CIO president, and even actress Debra Messing.

Trump continued being engaged by informing the public that Dorian was at a category 5, the highest degree measured by meteorologists for hurricanes (before they turn into sharknados). Trump tweeted that he had never heard of a Category 5, tweeting, “A Category 5 is something that I don’t know that I’ve even heard the term, other than I know it’s there. That’s the ultimate.” It’s funny that he’s never heard the term “Category 5” before since, in 2017, he said the same thing. Dorian is the fourth Category 5 to threaten the United States during Trump’s presidency, yet he’s never heard of one before.

Keep in mind, this is a guy who knows so much about hurricanes that he thinks a nuclear bomb would solve them, yet he’s never heard of a Category 5. At any moment now, he should be tweeting that he knows more than the meteorologists.

Trump supporters, sycophants, and cultists who may be in the path of a hurricane. Do yourself a favor and suspend your faith in Donald Trump at least until the crisis is over. If you’re taking advice from Trump, you could die. It will be classified as “death by dumbass.” Do not monitor his Twitter feed for updates. This is a guy too preoccupied with scratching his ass and stealing golf balls from children (he’s done that) to worry about your safety. Also, he’s stubborn and will not allow himself to believe any basic facts if they contradict any longheld stupid-ass beliefs or conspiracy theories. Do not take survival advice from a conspiracy theorist. In fact, you might want to turn off Fox News while you’re at it. You don’t need Hannity and Tucker telling you that Trump’s coming to save you because he can walk on water.

Trump told us he’d be too busy presidenting to golf, unlike President Obama. But as you know by now, that was a lie. Trump is not too busy to play golf, even with a massive hurricane bearing down on the east coast of the United States. Trump has been so not busy presidenting that he’s been able to golf 227 times at one of his clubs since entering the White House.

But, since some people were stupid enough to sign up for Trump University, there will be people dumb enough to take his hurricane advice. But then again, who am I to complain? If we have more candidates for Darwin Awards, this entire Trump mess may balance itself out.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Trumpy Gator Balls


cjones04082019

Golfer Arnold Palmer has been quoted, “I never do a business deal until I played 18 holes with a guy.” The logic is that in four hours (which I’m assuming is how long it takes to play 18 holes), you can’t hide who you are. If you’re nice, pleasant, honest, rude, impatient, or a cheater, it’s going to come out. I’ve heard golfers claim that you play life the way you play golf. A good argument for that analogy’s veracity is Donald Trump. 

Trump cheats at golf. Shocking, right? Sports writer Rick Reilly has written a book, Commander in Cheat, that chronicles the way Trump plays golf and operates as a course owner and operator. Reilly examines the way Trump’s courses resemble mini golf with waterfalls (all that’s missing is shooting the ball into a clown’s mouth, but he owns the course), and despite his claim of having the greatest courses in the world, not one of them is included in the top 150 in America. What’s really intriguing are the multiple details of Trump’s cheating and his lack of respect for the game he loves so much.

Trump was very critical of the time Obama spent playing golf as president. Trump even criticized his golf game. He promised he’d be too busy as president to play golf and that he’d never leave the White House. Of course, he lied. According to the website Trump Golf Count, he’s visited his courses as president 77 times as of March 31 (if you’re a Republican, that was three days ago), at a cost of $95,000,000. Basically, we’re paying for Trump to cheat at golf.

Reilly has documented that of the 18 club championships Trump claims, maybe only two are legitimate. He’s even claimed two championships he didn’t play in, once when he was at a different course. When he’s actually playing in a game, he’s known to cheat. He kicks his ball so often that caddies have given him the nickname “Pelé.”

Trump doesn’t just move his ball, he’ll move his opponents. Once, after his ball had gone into the water, he stole a ball belonging to a teenager. The book also documents that Trump once threw Sportscaster Mike Tirico’s ball into a bunker after it was only ten feet from the hole. Trump claims a 2.8 handicap, but everyone Reilly speaks to says it’s more like a 7 or an 8.

He disrespects the game other ways too. He always tees off first, even if he didn’t win the last hole. He drives his carts on the green. He also drives his cart down the fairway before the other golfers have hit their drives.

Trump is like a child who has to have the biggest piece of cake. He always has to win, even if he didn’t. After cheating, which is always obvious to those he played with, he brags to them about winning, being oblivious to the fact they know. You don’t hit the ball seven times then tell Tiger Woods you’re playing for a birdie. Tiger knows.

Just like golf, Trump cheats at life. He steals from charities. He cheats on his taxes. He cheats contractors. He cheats lenders. He cheats on his wives. He cheated by stealing a Supreme Court seat, then cheated by having the rules of confirmation changed. And of course, he cheated when he stole an election with the help of Russia. Just like in golf, he thinks if he lies about it then nobody will notice.

It’s also cheating when he betrays our trust. We were aware that Trump gave high-level security clearances to Ivanka and Jared after they were rejected, but now we have learned he’s done it for others at least 25 times. Trump has the authority to grant security clearances to whoever he wants to receive them, but when we elect people, we expect them to use their powers responsibly. No rational person has ever expected Donald Trump to act responsibly, but his handing out security clearances like candy is a threat to national security. For the love of god, Jared has been communicating with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia through WhatsApp. Trump’s cheating is a danger to the nation.

People who play golf with Trump or work at his clubs enable him by nodding along when he boasts about his prowess as a golfer, all while they know he’s cheating and lying. At least in their cases, he’s either paying them or buying their lunch. His supporters also enable his lies by continuing to support and defend him, which doesn’t make any sense at all. Trump’s not buying their lunch.

Discovering that Trump cheats at everything is about as surprising as learning he’s a vile, ugly, horrible person without any regard for anything that’s not named Trump. Reilly says he wrote his book on Trump’s cheating, not from being offended as a voter but as a golfer. Personally, when it comes to Trump, I’m offended as a human being.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Comic Strip Of The Day Goes Golfing


cjones08252014

Comic Strip Of The Day used this cartoon today to talk about the misinformation that right keeps spreading about Obama’s vacations.  You know, that he takes a lot of vacations, though W. took more and they were and still are silent about that.

Nancy Reagan once said the president doesn’t take vacations, he only changes his scenery.  You can’t really complain about the expense of a presidential vacation.  Presidents pay for their own vacations.  The staff will be paid anyway.  There is expense of staff lodging and travel and for Air Force One, but it’s not like that plane is always in a hangar.

Mike, the blogger at CSOTD, mentions that cartoonists should read the comments where their cartoons are posted.  I scan them.  I don’t read them all as they tend to turn into flame wars.  I’ll read some at the Free Lance-Star site, Gocomics and Daily Kos and various newspaper clients of mine that post my cartoons.  I don’t read them to change my work or outlook.  I just like to see how people are responding, even the critics.  I especially enjoy the comments left by people who don’t like my cartoons but comment on them every day.

Anyway, thanks again CSOTD.  I kinda had a feeling you would use this cartoon today.

Did You Hear The One About…


cjones08252014

Conservatives don’t tire of saying the same old joke over and over.  Yes, Obama plays golf.  What else should a president do on vacation?  Clear brush?  Ride a bike?  Seeing that the release of a hostage by Islamic terrorist was just negotiated, Obama does a better job while on vacation that Bush W. could do with all his focus.

Republicans must get the same GOP talking points.  I’ve seen a hundred golf cartoons over the past two weeks.  I’ve seen four cartoons by one cartoonist on the golf thing.  Conservatives aren’t good with humor.  We’re talking about a group that finds racists, homophobic, sexists and misogynist jokes are clever.

You would think Republicans would cut Obama some slack seeing that he’s playing the whitest game ever.