G7

Trump Bedbugs

cjones09052019

When I heard the United States is going to host the G7 Summit in 2020, the first thing I thought was, “that fucker’s gonna try to have it at one of his shitty golf clubs.” I’m sure most journalists in the country thought the same thing so I shouldn’t receive any huge plaudits for my prognostication skills. Grifters are gonna grift. That’s exactly what our Grifter-in-Chief has set out to do. Con the G7 and in the process, spread the Trumpfestation.

Donald Trump is a conman. It’s all he is. His entire business is a con. He was born and bred to con, with his father giving him an annual allowance of $200,000 a year by age three in what was probably just one of many tax scams the family concocted.

As a candidate, he conned his supporters. As the nominee, he conned the Republican National Committee, charging them for campaign space in Trump Tower after raising the rent. Later he started conning the U.S. government, charging the Secret Service rent at Trump Tower, once again, after raising the rent.

Donald Trump promised he would separate himself from his businesses. Instead of selling or putting everything into a blind trust, he turned it over to be managed by his two idiot sons. As president, he’s name-dropped his property over 70 times. He’s averaging two weekly visits to his properties as president. When he stays at one of his properties, we have to pay for him to do so. We have to pay for government services, rooms and feeding government personnel, and even golf cart rentals so the Secret Service can follow Trump while he cheats at golf. We probably even pay for Trump to stay in his own bedroom.

Trump has hosted the leaders of Japan and China at his Mar-a-Lago, thus earning money from those two governments. If nations have business with the United States, first they have to do business with Donald Trump.

Trump claims he’s going to lose $3-$5 billion as president, which is a lie because he’s not worth that. He will not disclose his tax returns so we can’t see how much he’s really milking the government or to whom he’s indebted.

A friend of mine who is a retired cartoonist and a conservative, made a post on social media this week that the good thing about Trump is that since he’s a billionaire, he can’t be bought. Yes, I’m still trying to figure out how to virtually slap someone on the back of the head.

When someone has $3 billion (maybe) but claims they have ten, they can be bought. When Saudis are renting rooms they’re not staying in from the guy, he can be bought. When his attorney general, the same one defending him in an emoluments lawsuit (I can’t make this up anymore) is spending $30,000 for a party at Trump’s hotel, he can be bought. When a cabinet member tries to purchase a mattress from the same hotel, Trump can be bought.

And of course, Trump wants to host the G7 at one of his crappy golf resorts. He’s aiming to host it at his underperforming Doral resort in Miami to bilk at least six foreign governments. Trump claims it’s great because it’s near an airport. Obviously, no one else in this country ever thought of building hotels and convention centers near airports before. There’s probably also a McDonald’s nearby which I’m sure will be a factor and seriously bad news for the world leaders attending. I hope they like Big Macs and burnt steaks with ketchup. Those might be the least of their problems because Doral is infested.

Donald Trump is having a hissy fit on Twitter because it was reported that someone sued him for being ravaged by bedbugs while sleeping at Doral. Trump tweeted that it was an attack by “radical left Democrats” and it was just a “false and nasty rumor.” Honestly, I’m shocked he hasn’t accused Obama of planting the bedbugs while bugging Trump Tower.

But, despite the club not having bedbugs, Trump settled the lawsuit with the man the bedbugs used as a buffet. What also leads me to believe Doral is currently infested with bedbugs is the fact Donald Trump said it’s not infested with bedbugs.

Doral isn’t the only thing of Trump’s that’s infested. The man destroys everything he touches. At this very moment, some poor French guy is probably burning the sheets Trump slept on at the G7 last weekend. It’s a Trumpfestation. No wonder Melania sleeps in a separate bedroom (probably under a poster of Justin Trudeau).

The Trumpfestation is everywhere from the White House to the State Department to the Justice Department to each of his crappy golf clubs. I just hope the White House is fumigated after Trump is finally kicked out or we may have to do what Indonesia’s doing right now, which is moving their capital to Borneo. I think we should move Trump to Borneo.

It’s as if Trump is personally challenged to make everything as horrible as possible. He goes to the G7 and spends the first night operating as Vladimir Putin’s personal lobbyist. Now, he wants to entertain the world’s leaders at a bedbug-infested motel hell. They should take a tip from the Saudis and rent the rooms and stay somewhere else.

I’m asked all the time about what I’ll do with my cartoons after Trump leaves office. I’m not going to have a problem with that because we’re still going to be having problems. The Trumpfestation will be ravaging our nation for years.

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Medal Of Dishonor

cjones09012019

When Bill Clinton was elected president of the United States, Republicans and many veterans were livid that a draft dodger was now the commander-in-chief of the nation’s military. Imagine the outrage they would have expressed if Clinton had joked about awarding himself the Medal of Honor. Imagine if Obama, who wasn’t of military age during the Vietnam War, had made similar jokes. For Donald Trump, they don’t just overlook his thinking-out-loud about awarding himself the military’s highest and most prestigious decoration; but they hand him their own medals.

During the 2016 campaign, a veteran handed Trump his Purple Heart. Instead of respectfully turning down the offer because he’s not worthy of such an honor, Trump took it and said he “always wanted” a Purple Heart. That statement shows Trump’s immaturity and flagrant disrespect for the military and its veterans. Nobody goes in wanting a Purple Heart.

On Wednesday, Trump told a group of veterans that he wanted to award himself the Medal of Honor. He said the only reason he didn’t move forward with it is that his advisers told him he didn’t qualify to receive such an award. He said, “Can I give it to myself anyway?”

If Trump wanted to win a medal for military service then maybe instead of seeking deferment after deferment for attending school and imagined bone spurs, he should have signed up for military service.

Donald Trump dishonors the military and veterans just as much as he dishonors our nation and our allies by wanting to award Vladimir Putin with a spot in the G7, the group of the world’s largest economies.

If anything, there should be talk of adding South Korea, China, India, and Brazil to the group before Russia because each of those nations has larger economies than Putin’s oligarchy.

Putin was kicked out of the group, changing it from the G8 to the G7. He wasn’t kicked out by President Obama as Trump claims. He was kicked out by the other members for his taking Crimea from Ukraine. Despite Putin not changing his tactics, attacking democratic nations’ elections, and remaining in Crimea, Trump wants to reward Putin with a spot among the world’s largest economies. Even Boris Johnson thinks it’s a bad idea. Hopefully at some point during this weekend’s summit, someone will use the word “absurd.”

Trump doesn’t just exhibit disrespect to our friends, allies, and veterans. He displays a total lack of knowing what respect is. In the process, he’s once again showing he’s Putin’s puppet. Trump may have been joking, but you can expect to hear him bring the subject up again.

If a donkey can pin the tail on itself, then a puppet can pin a medal on its string-puller. Trump couldn’t disrespect the Medal of Honor any more by pinning it on Putin than by giving it to himself.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Ugly American Baby

cjones06162018

Donald Trump attended the G7 Summit against his will. He didn’t want to go, probably because he had spent the week insulting our allies while lobbying for Vladimir Putin.

Trump arrived late to the summit and he left early. He agreed to a communiqué (which is a big word for Trump) by the allies but withdrew while on his flight to Singapore because the Prime Minister of Canada said, wait for it……that Canada will defend itself from high tariffs. We actually have a trade surplus with Canada. We get more oil from Canada than from any other nation.

Trump had a hissy fit. German Chancellor Angela Merkel released a photo of our allies surrounding Trump which showed him being the quintessential ugly American. Later, he acted the part of the ugly American baby by accusing Canada’s PM, Justin Trudeau of being weak and dishonest.

Peter Navarro, a Trump trade adviser, said, “There’s a special place in hell for any foreign leader that engages in bad faith diplomacy with President Donald J. Trump and then tries to stab him in the back on the way out the door.” That quote may have disturbed me most of all.

Trudeau did not stab Trump in the back. Trump had insulted Trudeau all week before the summit. But, what really bothers me is that Navarro didn’t whine for the president or the United States. He whined for Donald J. Trump, as though it’s sacrilege to cross the man. This sycophancy is terrifying.

Republicans accused Obama of destroying our alliances and betraying their trust. Those same Republicans are silent on Trump being an international embarrassment and giving our allies an education that we are not to be trusted.

Trump is dining with Kim Jong Un in about three hours from when this blog is being written. He’s openly floated the idea of having the North Korean dictator and murderer to the White House. He wants Russia reinstated back into the G7 despite their invasion and annexation of Crimea, their poisoning people on British soil, and their tampering in our elections. He praises authoritarians while attacking our allies. He is not a champion of freedom, liberty, or democracy.

Donald J. Trump is an ugly American baby. And there’s a special place in Hell for those who enable and don’t defend us from him.

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Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

G7 Pardon

cjones06132018

Before he stepped on Obama’s airplane to head to the G7 summit in Canada, Trump took questions from a few reporters and said that Russian President Vladimir Putin really wanted Hillary Clinton to win the election, and he, Trump, was his worst nightmare.

I don’t know about you but my nightmares consist of stuff, like spiders, finding myself naked in high school, falling off a cliff, Nickelback dressed as clowns, a hotdog with ketchup, you know….real terrifying stuff. Nightmares are not dreams of getting everything you want.

For Putin, that’s an American president who undermines democratic institutions like a free press while destabilizing NATO and our alliances in addition to spilling classified information to Russian spies in the Oval Office. Now, Trump is at the G7 campaigning for Russia to be invited back, which kicked Putin out for annexing Crimea.

What in the world could Hillary Clinton have given Putin to make him happier? Neck massages? Scratch that, because Trump may have already done that.

Trump was very eager to fight with leaders of our allies, like Canada’s Justin Trudeau and France’s Emmanuel Macron…on Twitter and through the press. Now that he’s actually face to face, he arrived late, and he’s leaving early. That’s because Donald Trump is a coward.

What does it say about our nation’s president who’s afraid of our allies but eager to get on a plane and arrive early for a date with the dictator of North Korea?

If Trump has prepared very little for meeting Kim Jong Un (who we hope is as dumb as Trump), the only thoughts he put into his trip to the G7 was how to get out of it. Reportedly, he asked aides if his presence was absolutely necessary and asked if he could cancel at the last minute.

Trump is now showing the entire world he belongs to Putin. At this rate, he may have to register as a foreign lobbyist. If Putin really wanted Clinton to win the presidency, he would have sent spies to her campaign HQ to dish dirt and had Wikileaks hack Trump. The only problem would have been Clinton’s refusal to collude with Russia because some people don’t want to commit treason.

You have to ask yourself what exactly does Putin have on Trump? That pee tape must be really nasty.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

How To Lose Friends And Alienate People

cjones05312017

Trump went from the protective bosom of autocracies where protests are banned, women are oppressed, and tyrants dance with swords, to liberal democracies where they don’t buy bullshit.

Trump’s Eurotrip included a summit with our NATO allies and the G7 Summit. Trump was antisocial and stood alone in corners while the rest of world leaders talked to each other. He was the party guest nobody wanted at the party, which is like every party Ted Cruz has ever attended.

Trump scolded the member states of NATO about how they weren’t spending enough on their military, which is easy to say when your nation has 20 aircraft carriers. Trump broke the tradition set by Harry Truman in 1949 and continued by every president since of publicly supporting Article 5. This article affirms that every member of NATO will come to the defense of any member that is under attack. The ironic thing is that the only time Article 5 has been used was after 9/11 when NATO supported the United States in its fight against terrorism.

Also, during the summit it was revealed that British police are withholding classified information from the United States after leaks to the media about the Manchester bombing. This just weeks after Trump shared classified information, from an ally, with the Russians.

And while in Brussels, Belgium Trump said Germany was “very bad, very bad” for the amount of cars it sells in the U.S. Never mind the fact most of the cars are actually built in the U.S. Along with that, Trump still hasn’t learned that he can’t negotiate individually with members of the European Union.

The most memorable moment occurred when Trump physically shoved Dusko Markovic, Prime Minister of Montenegro out of his way so he could be in the front for a group photo. Roughing people up is apparently cool for Republicans this week, whether in Brussels or Montana. Maybe Trump mistook him for a journalist.

During the G7 Summit Trump refused to make a decision on whether or not the United States will stay in the Paris Climate Agreement. Each of the other members, the United Kingdom, Germany, Italy, Canada, France, and Japan reaffirmed their commitment to the agreement and to combat climate change. Trump said he’ll make a decision later in the week when he won’t have to look the other leaders in the eye when he says he’s abandoning the United States’ commitment.

The G7 Summit was held in Sicily and at one point the leaders took a 700 yard walk through Taormina to take a photo together at a piazza. Not Trump. He waited to get a golf cart as his orange skinny legs couldn’t handle the exertion of physically walking. The other members had to wait for the “high energy” Trump before the photo could be taken.

Before the two summits, European leaders and diplomats were coached to keep details to the minimum for Trump’s short attention span, compliment him on his electoral victory, and compare him favorably to President Obama. Trump still had to assert himself as an alpha male bully.

Later, German Chancellor Angela Merkel stated that Europe can’t rely on the United States anymore. German magazine Der Spiegel published a highly-read article titled “It’s time to get rid of Donald Trump.” The article says that Trump is transforming the U.S. into a laughingstock, is a danger to the world, and must be removed from the Oval Office before he does more harm. It also called him a “liar,” a “racist,” and a “cheat,” among other things.

When your dog poops in a friend’s house you apologize, clean it up, and die of embarrassment. Europe, We’re sorry. We’re trying to clean it. We’re embarrassed.

Creative notes: I teased this cartoon on social media by stating I was doing serious research for it. My readers probably assumed I was doing some intensive investigating. I was actually looking up the photos of the G7 members and insults in their native languages…and to spell them correctly. OK, it was kinda intense.

I think I did everything correctly but if not, sorry. I checked each insult with more than one source. I had to ditch a few that I couldn’t be sure of by my sources.

Since you’re probably curious, I’ll run down each insult for you (and to save you from Googling).

Justin Trudeau, Canada: “Hoser.” That’s an easy one. It means you’re foolish and uncultivated.

Emmanuel Macron, France: “Vous avez le cervau d’un sandwich au fromage,” which means “you have the brains of a cheese sandwich.”

Angela Merkel, Germany: “Arsch mit ohren,” which means “ass with ears.”

Paolo Gentiloni, Italy: “Li mortacci tua,” which is an insult to your dead relatives. It’s really bad if you’re Italian.

Shinzo Abe, Japan: “Sekai de ichiban daikirai,” which means “I hate you more than anyone.”

Theresa May, United Kingdom: “Wanker” is just the best way to finish any political cartoon. I don’t think I have to tell you what it means.

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