Florida Man

DeDumbass Bully


Can Republicans take a day off from their race to the bottom?

We get the psycho troglodyte twins, Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, heckling during the State of the Union on one day. And then in the same week, we get the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, bullying kids.

At a press event at the University of South Florida in an area where the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention still recommends indoor masking due to high COVID-19 risk, DeSantis bullied high school students for wearing face masks, calling it “political theater.” I think that’s a Rand Paul talking point.

As soon as DeSantis got to the stage to give his little speech, he turned to the students who were set up as props behind him and said, “You do not have to wear those masks. I mean, please take them off. Honestly, it’s not doing anything. We’ve got to stop with this COVID theater. So if you wanna wear it, fine, but this is ridiculous.”

A few of the students slowly removed their masks with a couple of them saying they only did so out of pressure from the governor. Some of the students left their masks on.

Remember when these goons were arguing that face masks should be a choice? People like DeSantis and Virginia’s new goon governor put in regulations banning public schools from enacting face-mask mandates. They argued that children wearing face masks should be a decision left to parents. But now, we see from Ron DeSantis that it should be a parental choice only when the parents decide on what he wants. If you choose for your children to wear a face mask, Ron DeSantis will bully them.

They used to whine about being forced to wear face masks but now, they’re bullying other people for wearing face masks. When they tell us something should be a choice, they’re just talking about it being their choice. Republicans believe in choice just as long as they’re the only ones choosing. They want to make all your choices for you.

One student said, “I was a little bit surprised at his tone,” and chose to leave his mask on because there were many unmasked people around and he was wary of getting COVID-19. The kid’s father later said that he’d advise Ron DeSantis to “stop bullying kids.”

The father also said, “I tell him it’s his choice, so he made that choice and the governor has no right to tell no kid or no one who they can or can’t wear a mask. He doesn’t have that right.” Didn’t DeSantis use to make that argument about mandates?

Now, Ron DeSantis is fundraising off it. He sent an email to supporters that said, “Predictably, the leftist propagandists in our media had a meltdown and called me a ‘bully’ for allowing children to breathe fresh air.” Predictably, a Republican bullies children then claim he’s the victim. Snowflakes.

Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, a Democrat running against DeSantis for governor, tweeted, “Ron doesn’t realize it’s not about the masks, it’s about him being an asshole.”

Isn’t that the case with all Republicans now? It’s about being an asshole? For them, that’s the entire point. Which Republican can be the biggest asshole? And then, let’s run on it. Have you ever seen footage of a Trump rally where there’s an entire auditorium cheering on racism and chanting “send them back?”
Let’s bully students. Let’s bully teachers. Let’s bully minorities. Let’s bully the LGBTQ community.

In Florida, where they made it legal to run over Black Lives Matter protesters, there is a new bill that says educators “may not encourage discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity in primary grade levels or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students.” The bill doesn’t state at what age or grade is appropriate for these subjects but I’m guessing it’s never. What happens if an educator teaches gay black history? Will that teacher be shot at dawn or does Florida prefer gallows?

In Florida, it will soon be illegal for a teacher to tell a student they shouldn’t be ashamed for who they are.

There was a statewide student walkout on Thursday protesting this homophobic bigoted legislation and one student in Palm Coast was suspended for handing out pride flags. Apparently, you can’t protest fascism in Russia or Florida.

Don’t vote for bullies and assholes. That means don’t vote for Republicans.

Music Note: Today’s tooning tunes were off the Foo Fighter’s last great album, “Wasting Light.” After that, they kinda turned into the Fray.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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DeSantis Freedom


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Heads-up: There are probably more Ron DeSantis cartoons coming from me this week. I’ll try to avoid using “Death Santis” or drawing him as the Grim Reaper as both have been used in a lot of other cartoons. Besides, I already drew him as the Grim Reaper this week. You just may not have found it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Florida Buttman


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Is Donald Trump moving his permanent residence to Florida because of taxes, criminal investigations, or because New York hurt his feelings? Maybe a combination of all three. There are also the logistics of a former president living in a penthouse in Manhattan versus several acres of a golf resort.

If Trump wants to move where people actually like him, then he should consider Alabama and West Virginia. Of course, they like him now. Maybe after he moves in they’ll learn what New Yorkers already know. Donald Trump is a con artist and an asshole. You don’t want him.

New Yorkers are saying “good riddance” to Trump. And for Florida, it’s not like he’s bringing industry and jobs to your state. He’s just bringing his ass.

Maybe the one thing Trump doesn’t understand and no one has explained to him yet is that Florida and New York are in the same country. Extradition happens between states. So, if Trump is found guilty of crimes in New York, he will be arrested in Florida and shipped back north.

But for all the men who are competing to be “Florida Man,” they just got some very BIG competition.

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