Equality

Mr. Taliban Head


Cjones08242021

Tucker Carlson has a nightly TV show in prime time where he offers his opinions on anything and everything despite the fact he has no real world experience at anything. Tucker especially fails at grasping foreign relations and the military. This trust-fund baby barely survived prep school and even got kicked out of one in Switzerland, probably for being too white.

None of that stops Tucker from being Tucker. Even if Tucker was capable of understanding complex matters, he’d still use the fall of Afghanistan as ammunition for his favorite cause, hating progressivism, which he also seems to know nothing about. Yes, Tucker is blaming the fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban on wokeness.

First, when liberals speak of being “woke,” they’re being sarcastic. It’s kind of a way to mock conservatives who mock liberals, or just empathetic people for being openminded. Woke is another culture war brand like cancel culture and political correctness. Woke is gaining a better understanding or race and sex. Cancel culture is getting rid of hateful images and not letting Nazis speak on college campuses. Political correctness is just not being an asshole. Conservatives hate all these movements and if they’re really good at hating it, they get a talk show. But none of this stuff is weakening our military.

Last week, Tucker said on his show, “It turns out the people of Afghanistan don’t actually want gender studies symposia. They didn’t actually buy the idea that men can become pregnant. They thought that was ridiculous. They don’t hate their own masculinity. They don’t think it’s toxic — they like the patriarchy. Some of their women like it too.”

This is why people who watch Fox News are so ignorant of current events. If you listen to Tucker, it sounds like the Taliban won an election and the people rejected the liberal agenda of the former government. This sells really well to Tucker’s audience, which is mostly made up of Christian male white supremacists. But how does Tucker know any of this? Has there been a poll in Afghanistan? Can Tucker cite a source that he didn’t pull out of his ass?

The Taliban did not win an election. The people of Afghanistan did NOT choose the Taliban. For that matter, the government that was chased out was only slightly less conservative than the Taliban. Both sides create laws guided by their religious fundamentalism. This was not a battle between conservatives and progressives. Basically, this is like going from conservatives in Alabama to conservatives who want to eliminate voting and women’s right entirely. OK, Alabama was a bad example.

Prep boy Tucker is also selling the idea the military was selling “wokeness.” Do what? The United States military wasn’t selling liberalism to Afghanistan. The U.S. military was even turning a blind eye to the child-abuse culture of Afghanistan. Yes, that is a real thing. Ignoring child abuse is not being woke.

But Tucker is not alone with this idiotic argument.

Rod Dreher, from the American Conservative (it’s a magazine…I think), wrote, “America might not know how to win actual wars, but it sure is going to equip its troops to win the culture war against traditional morality and old-fashioned American values.” Dreher, like Tucker, is a big fan of the nationalistic Hungarian government. They’re hungry for Hungary. See what I did there?

Kurt Schlicter, who writes for the ultra-conservative website, Town Hall, also uses the word “woke” to describe our military. He also ponders the question: Why hasn’t Antifa done anything about the Taliban yet? This is where you’re allowed to pause to slap your forehead.

You can look at these morons and believe their opinions shouldn’t matter because they are in fact morons. These opinions are not based on any facts and they’re only used to spread their brand of hate. But, they have a large audience that eats up these moronic opinions. Tucker has the most popular “news” show on primetime. Kurt Schlicter has over 340,000 followers on Twitter. Roy Dreher has over 70,000. People, mostly racists, are listening to these mooks. Hate sells. It got Donald Trump elected. It’s making Tucker Carlson richer. It makes people buy shitty pillows.

While the United States didn’t defeat the Taliban, Afghanistan lost Afghanistan. And it’s not because people can’t decide if Mr. Potato Head is a mister or not. Fact: Neither Mr. or Mrs. Potato head has a penis.

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Minimum Protest


CNN02282021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trust The Science


cjones03012021

One word I’ve always hated in politics is “tolerance.” It seems like a very low bar to get over. Think about it. If you come to a party at my house and I say that I will tolerate your presence, that sounds kinda rude and that there’s something seriously wrong with you. It sounds like I’m tolerating you despite a lot of stuff…and gee whiz, what a great guy I am to tolerate you despite how horrible you are. It’s not so much tolerance we need to strive for as it is acceptance.

But in today’s climate, I’ll accept some tolerance.

The United States House of Representatives passed sweeping legislation yesterday to ban discrimination against people based on sexual orientation and gender identity, delivering a major victory to the LGBTQ community. And in doing so, it exposed the Republican Party for the troglodytes that they are. No, not just in that a majority of them being against “tolerance,” but that basically, the entire party is bigoted.

Yesterday, only three Republicans voted that people should not be discriminated against based on sexual orientation or gender identity. That’s fewer than half it got from Republicans the last time the Equality Act came to the House floor. Yesterday’s vote was an amendment to the historic 1964 Civil Rights Act. Every single member of the Democratic Party voted for it. The Republican Party is going backwards.

“Progress” is another good word. The Republican Party, after four years of being the party of Trump, is regressive.

Another sign the Republican Party is regressive and full of hate is its Qanon member and fucknut lunatic Marjorie Taylor Greene.

To put it simply, and that’s how it should be put so Trump supporters can understand it, Marjorie Taylor Greene is a horrible vile disgusting person. She is a bully. She has claimed school shootings are staged and the survivors are “crisis actors.” There is video, that she took, of her stalking and bullying David Hogg, a survivor of the Parkland school shooting and a gun-control advocate.

Illinois Democratic Representative Marie Newman raised a transgender pride flag outside her office. As it turns out, she’s office neighbors with Marjorie Taylor Greene, whose office, shockingly, is not in a dumpster behind the Capitol. And you thought you had bad neighbors, what with the 20 cars on the street, unchained dogs, blaring ska music, and every time they grill it smells like they’re cooking camel hair. Also, if your neighbor has a Trump sign…I’m so sorry.

Newman posted a video on Twitter of her raising the flag and wrote, “Our neighbor tried to block the Equality Act because she believes prohibiting discrimination against trans Americans is ‘disgusting, immoral, and evil.'” To be fair, Newman trolled her a little bit but it’s something that should only help Greene by being forced to see on a daily basis. Oh no! It’s a flag of many colors. Eeeeeek!

Naturally, Greene fired back.

Newman has a transgender daughter, so what Greene did is bullying. Marjorie Taylor Greene hung a sign outside her office, in a video, that said, “There are TWO genders: Male & Female. Trust The Science!” Yes, Marjorie Taylor Greene, who believes that California wildfires were caused by Jewish space lasers and at times has refused to wear a face mask (and when she has, it’s stated “Trump won,” “Stop the Steal,” or “Biden is useless”), wants you to “trust the science.”

It should be noted that Greene has a lot of free time for extracurricular activities like pursuing her insanity, bullying, and going to Kinko’s for making signs and face masks with hate slogans. Why does a sitting member of Congress have so much free time? Because she has zero committee assignments, having been kicked off them by the majority of the House. Why was she kicked of all her committees? Because she’s a lunatic who has expressed stupid conspiracy theories and endorsed acts of violence against fellow House members. What good is she in Congress without any committee assignments? She’s no good and totally useless as a representative. Her district has a Representative who can’t represent them…unless they want a troll to hang hate signs in the Capitol office buildings. She’s real good at that.

Greene also tweeted a personal attack on her Congressional neighbor stating she refuses to recognize her daughter as a woman, but she does recognize Jewish space lasers.

Greene, who earlier tried to delay the vote on the Equality Act on the silly argument that it infringes on women’s rights and religious freedom (the freedom to be a bigot) is a great example of why this act needs to pass. People can still discriminate by using Greene’s stupid arguments. Mitt Romney, a very moderate Republican Senator, has the same opposition to the Equality Act as lunatic bully Qanon conspiracy theory-champion fucknut Marjorie Taylor Greene. They use the same words and argument of “religious freedom.” We are still in dangerous times for the gay and trans community. Also, stop using your god as an excuse to hate on people, fuckers. It’s weird.

Also, this whole bathroom argument is absurd and it doesn’t work. The argument is that male perverts will pose as women and go into the ladies room and spy on little girls. First, how are we preventing perverts from spying on little boys in the men’s room? Second, you’re not supposed to be peeking at anybody’s stuff in any bathroom no matter what you are. Stop it. Is this something conservatives actively do? Do they walk up next to a guy at the stall and say, “Hey, don’t worry because I’m not trans or gay but I see you have a nice penis there. Rock on.”

Representative Newman gave a speech and said, “I rise today on behalf of the millions of Americans who continue to be denied housing, education, public services and much, much more because they identify as members of the LGBTQ community. Americans like my own daughter, who years ago bravely came out to her parents as transgender. I knew from that day on, my daughter would be living in a nation where [in] most of its states, she could be discriminated against, merely because of who she is.”

Merely because of who she is.

There is more acceptance among the Republican Party for lunatic bully troglodyte Marjorie Taylor Greene than there is for Newman’s daughter. Yesterday, Rand Paul displayed his transphobia during the confirmation hearing for Rachel Levin for the assistant health secretary position, a physician who would be the highest-ranking openly transgender official in government history. Rand Paul was not afraid of revealing his bigotry. Like Greene, he was proud of it. Of course, these are two extreme examples because both Paul and Greene are assholes and nobody likes them.

The Equality Act needs 60 votes to pass in the Senate. In case you lost count, that means the bill needs ten Republicans. But with the likes of Mitt Romney opposing the meausre, it’s in trouble.

Tolerance is in trouble.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Kick Like A Girl


cjones07132019

The Women’s U.S. soccer team won the World Cup after beating the Netherlands (if you’re a Republican, that’s “Netherlands,” not “nether regions”) Sunday in France by a score of 2-0 (if you’re a  Republican, two is more than zero). Viewership for the match was one of the highest rated in American history, besting the men’s 2018 tournament by 20%. The total audience for the tournament could exceed one billion.

So, should the women make as much money as the men’s team? Yes! The women have filed a gender-discrimination suit. The lawsuit claims that if the women’s team won 20 non-tournament games a year, the top women’s players would earn just 38 cents on the dollar compared with the men’s team. Male World Cup players are entitled to $679,321 per player for advancing to the knockout round of the tournament, compared to just $90,000 for the women.

After Sunday’s game, the crowd chanted, “Equal pay!”

The U.S. Soccer Federation could fix the situation without the courts by simply giving the women a raise that matches the men’s salary. Or, perhaps they should pay them more.

The Women’s National Team jersey is the best-selling Nike soccer jersey ever. The women have brought in more revenue than the men for the past three years. From 2016 to 2018, the women raised $50.0 million in revenue. The men brought in $49.9 million. In case you’re a Republican, 50 is great than 49.

It’s not just ridiculous that the women make less while generating more revenue. It’s absurd we even have to have this fight.

A lot of conservatives have given the impression they were rooting against America’s women after their star player, Megan Rapinoe said she’d refuse a visit to Trump’s White House.” It’s a good thing for Republicans the women weren’t facing Russia in the final or their loyalty may have been revealed. Fox News host Jesse Watters even argued they don’t deserve equal pay for being unpatriotic by disparaging Donald Trump. In case you’re a Republican, Donald Trump is not America.

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What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Over At The Frankenstein Place


cjones03282016

I’m gonna let you in on a little secret if you promise it won’t freak you out. You have already shared a public restroom with a transgender person. Oh no! Do you want to know why they were in there? They probably had to use the restroom. Freaks, I know. We should pass more laws.

That’s exactly what the mouth-breathing troglodytes did in North Carolina. Their largest city, Charlotte, passed some anti-discrimination laws and the GOP majority legislature along with their Republican governor freaked out. They passed a law forbidding municipalities from being tolerant.

Part of that law says people have to use the public restrooms where the sign coordinates with the gender written on their birth certificate. So basically the government is enacting more wee wee and hoo ha legislation.

My city is pretty gay friendly. We don’t have gay bars. We have gay friendly bars. People really don’t care though we are surrounded by counties that are totally red. There are occasional drag shows here and afterward the performers go bar hopping. I was playing pool one night in a dive bar (you know which one if you’re from Fredericksburg) and one of the performers was still in drag and using the urinal. Guys cleared out of that restroom as if he had ebola. To me, he wasn’t any different or threatening than any other guy in there. He just so happened to be a guy in a mini skirt and fishnet stockings. He couldn’t play pool worth a damn though.

I’m dedicating this cartoon to my ex wife, Chelle. We had a lot of shared interests, loves, inside jokes and movies we would quote. Rocky Horror Picture Show was one of them. Though I had seen the movies years before I met her and even participated in the rice throwing and such at the theater, she really made me appreciate the movie…after making me watch it a thousand times.

I realize Doctor Frankenfurter is not transgender. He is in fact a “sweet transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.”

Chelle, this is “one from the vaults.”

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