Church

Grim SCOTUS


cjones11292020

The biggest takeaway from the Supreme Court’s ruling that churches in New York can remain open, because placing restrictions on them is infringing upon their Constitutionally-protected religious freedom, is where the court will be years from now.

The court ruled on similar cases just a few months ago, and ruled 5-4, with Chief Justice John Roberts joining the liberals, that the government can place restrictions on churches. On Wednesday night, it was another 5-4 ruling, this time in favor of the churches and again, with Roberts joining the liberals.

The big takeaway here is that Amy Coney Barrett was the vote putting it over the top. The last time the court voted on this, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was on the court and actually understood the case.

The argument here is that New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, was being harder on churches than places like retail businesses. But the thing is, it’s not the same.

You don’t go to a grocery store to spend two hours parking your ass in one spot. You do that in church. It’s not comparable. The churches are complaining that Cuomo is singling them out for their religion.

Nobody cares about your religion other than to protect it. I don’t care if you go to mass for seven hours every night, dance in circles with snakes while speaking in tongues. You do you. But, I do care if you go to church and bring back your virus to the grocery store. Do you understand how that works? No?

Neither do five members of the Supreme Court.

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If Biden Wins


cjones08102020

You would think Donald Trump is talking out of his ass and making up wild bullshit out of desperation from losing to Joe Biden, except Donald Trump always talks out of his ass and makes up wild bullshit.

Donald Trump said if Biden wins, he’ll, “Take away your guns, take away your Second Amendment. No religion, no anything. Hurt the Bible. Hurt God. He’s against God. He’s against guns. He’s against energy, our kind of energy.”

He also claimed Biden will get rid of cops and fracking. The fracking thing might be the only thing close to being true. Why didn’t Trump include grandmas, baseball, apple pie, and puppies?

Joe Biden has based his entire career on his faith. It’s something he’s talked about again and again. He talked about how his faith helped him get through the loss of his first wife, daughter, and son. When Pope Francis visited the United States in 2015, Joe Biden met him on the tarmac, went with him to Mass at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and accompanied the Pope to Philadelphia. He called the Pope, “the single most popular figure in the world.”

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Russians meddlers spread lies that Pope Francis endorsed Trump. Donald Trump never knocked those claims down.

When Donald Trump talks about religion, he says he has never asked for forgiveness and when he has been to church, that’s where you eat your “little crackers and drink your little wine.”

The last time Donald Trump went to a church, he had the military teargas peaceful protesters so he could walk to it from the White House, stand outside the church on a Monday afternoon, hold “a” Bible upside down(when asked if it was his, he said it was “a Bible”), all for a photo-op. Then he walked back to the White House. No statements. No prayers. Nothing but a photo which was made possible by Attorney General William Barr and Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, who later said he regretted it.

Religious leader and hater of zipping up his pants, Jerry Falwell Jr. is a big Trump fan and thinks the coronavirus is an evil plot to destroy Trump. What was in that glass of “black water?”

Evangelicals love Donald Trump. Many believe he was sent by God. Donald Trump believes he was sent by God. Donald Trump has claimed he’s the “Chosen One.” The Republican Party has turned into a cult that treats Trumpism as a religion. There is nothing to believe in but Trump. Christians who support Donald Trump are not Christians.

A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump using a church for a photo-op. A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump saying he doesn’t need forgiveness. A Christian wouldn’t support a man who brags about “grabbing them by the pussy.” A Christian wouldn’t support a grifter like Donald Trump who steals from charities to purchase paintings of himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who is the king of vanity and can’t stop praising himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who mocks the handicapped and puts children into jails. A Christian would not support a man who claims his opponent hates the Bible and will hurt God. A Christian would reject a man who claims he’s the “Chosen One.” A Christian would not support a man who lies. A Christian would not support Mr. Two Corinthians.

A real Christian would support removing Donald Trump from the Oval Office.

Joe Biden hurt God? A Christian would know that’s impossible. Donald Trump is no Christian.

If you claim you are a Christian and you support Donald Trump, do us all a favor and blow it out your ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Christ


cjones04072020

Even in states that are not giving stay-at-home orders, people are being encouraged to only venture out for essential services. Essential services usually include groceries, banks, healthcare, senior care and in Florida, gun stores. What?

But also, in a lot of our states, churches are defined as “essential.” In 11 of the most at-risk states of the coronavirus, church gatherings have not been banned.

So, why is gathering in a church not as dangerous as sitting in a restaurant? Is it because God will protect you in a church but not Applebees? Or is it that praying is worth the risk? Or (I think I got it now), Republican governors are afraid of pissing off their evangelical base, of which they are members too?

It’s no more important for you to go to a store and buy a gun than it is for me to go to the mall and buy a new iPhone. Likewise, it’s not important for you to go to church or any religious gathering. The point here is, DON’T GATHER!!!

There’s only one way for us to defeat the coronavirus and that is for us to stop giving it to each other. And trust me, you can catch it in church.

If we can hold classes on Skype and Zoom, then we can praise Jesus with a webcam. God gave you WiFi. Use it.

The states with exemptions for zealots are Florida, Louisiana, Tennessee, West Virginia, New Hampshire, Delaware, Michigan, and Mississippi. Oklahoma and Arkansas don’t have any bans on any gatherings. Missouri and Alabama just closed shops but I don’t know about church exemptions.

Experts say if the public totally cooperates, it can save up to 2 million lives in this country. But if the Jesus freaks get their way, we’re all going to see Jesus a lot sooner than we want to.

A pastor was arrested in Florida after he held church services despite a ban on gatherings in his county. Later, the county added churches as “essential” services. In Sacramento, California, 70 members of one church are infected with the coronavirus. Religious conservatives are always defensive about appearing uneducated and anti-science, but it’s their fault when they do shit like this.

Some pastors argue the stay-at-home orders violate their freedom of religion. No, it doesn’t. When it picks and chooses which religions have to stay home and which can hold gatherings, then you can say it’s violating your religion. Right now, my freedom to sit at Starbucks is being violated. If I can deal without a mocha frap, you can go a little while without going to church. I might love mocha fraps as much as you love Jesus.

I am not a religious person. That doesn’t mean I want to suppress your religion or convert you to my position. I don’t care what or whom you worship. But, I do care if you use your religion to infringe upon other people’s rights…or in this case, their lives. I don’t want this month of self-isolation inside a studio apartment to be for naught because some fundamentalist whackjob will breathe covid-19 on me in May.

This isn’t Hobby Lobby refusing insurance that pays for birth control. This is killing people. The same god you believe will protect you in church is the same god that brought the coronavirus (I know. You’d rather blame the Chinese).

Zealots, stay home. Skype God and order delivery from Chick-fil-A (though, if you really want a religious experience from a chicken sandwich, order Popeyes). And the best part is you can praise Jesus in your sweatpants.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.