Census

Census, Vax, and Burgers


Cjones04292021

Another example of Trump fuckery during the abomination that some prefer to call the “Trump presidency,” was his meddling with the census.

Every ten years, the government counts the population in the United States. The United States Constitution specifically spells out that not just citizens or voters are to be counted, but every single person. That includes immigrants whether they are authorized or not. Everyone has representation in Congress, not just those who choose to vote. Your children have it and even unauthorized immigrants have it. The lazy idiot next door who has never voted in his life has a congressman. Everyone is represented, or at least supposed to be.

Leave it to the fuckers who call themselves “Constitutionalists” to again fuck with the instructions mandated by the Constitution. The Trump administration did not want immigrants counted. Why? Because excluding immigrants could eliminate congressional seats and electoral votes in states like California and New York, and increase them in fucknut places like Texas and Florida.

There are 435 seats in Congress. Each state is awarded a number of seats based upon its population. In the past, there was a lot of shady shit with the census in how slaves and Native Americans were counted. Slaves were only considered three fifths of a free person and it wasn’t until the 1940 census that the government accepted the fact Native Americans should be counted. After all, Native Americans were here first. Unfortunately for the Trump administration, slavery isn’t legal anymore and we count Native Americans, even if North Dakota tries to keep them from voting. So they decided to not count unauthorized immigrants…or at least try.

Basically, it was a dirty trick. The Trump administration wanted to include a question about citizenship and immigration. When you are from the government and you ask an unauthorized immigrant if he’s an immigrant, guess what happens? He doesn’t participate. That’s what happens. And the Trump administration publicly stated it wanted the Census Bureau to share its data with other government agencies. Hello, Border Patrol.

The Supreme Court knocked that question out, but after a year of fighting over this, every unauthorized immigrant in the nation knew the Trump administration had found another way to target them. It didn’t matter what a census worker was going to ask, unauthorized immigrants weren’t answering and you can’t really blame them. A lot of census forms landed in the trash. Add your average everyday paranoid fucknuts to the mix, and a lot of people were not answering the census.

Now, California and New York are both losing a congressional seat. Other states losing seats are West Virginia, Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Illinois. The states gaining seats are Montana, Colorado, Oregon, North Carolina, Florida, and Texas. Each of those states is gaining one seat except Texas, which is gaining two. We just gave three more congressional seats to the most backward, troglodyte, dumbest fuckers in the country.

When a blue state like California loses a seat, it doesn’t mean Texas gets a blue seat. As these states lose or gain seats, they have to redistrict. Will California lose a Republican or a Democrat seat? How will these districts be drawn? This is where the fun begins. Or in some states like Texas and Florida, more fuckery.

Democrats in Illinois can redistrict, but states like New York, California, Oregon, and Colorado typically use bipartisan commissions. Texas and Florida will be redrawn by Republicans. It’s not like Texas is going to take these two brand new seats and plant them in the center of Houston. Texas and Florida are looking to increase their GOP majorities in Congress.

We gave an additional seat to a state controlled by a guy trying to make it legal to run over black protesters, and two more to a guy lying about cheeseburgers. More on that in a minute.

This also affects the electoral votes, but that may not be as drastic. President Biden beat Trump 306 to 232 electoral votes. If this change had been in effect before the 2020 election, Biden would have beaten Trump 303 to 235. But Democrats only control the House with a five-seat advantage. Sitting presidents usually lose seats in their first midterm election. As scary as it sounds, Republicans should win back Congress in 2022, through demographics, gerrymandering, and changing voting laws so black people can’t vote.

Even though more people in this nation will vote for Democrats, Republicans will win more seats.

As it turns out, New York is losing a seat in Congress because 89 people, out of the state’s 20.2 million, refused to fill out the census. These are probably the same people who refuse to get vaccinated because they think it’ll contain a tracking device and believe Joe Biden is going to ban hamburgers.

What? Ban hamburgers? Republicans are pushing a lie that President Biden’s climate plan calls for a ban on hamburgers. You may think, “So what?” when you hear that one of the liars is Donald Trump Jr, but the entire Fox News network is pushing this. Nikki Haley, who is supposed to be intelligent, is pushing this lie.

Was the lie about taking away guns not enough? Is there a huge red meat lobbying group paying these people to push this lie to push burger sales like the NRA does to boost gun sales?

Trump’s former economic advising idiot, Larry Kudlow, pushed the lie on his Fox News show. He said, “No burgers on July Fourth. No steaks on the barbie. I’m sure middle America is just going to love that. Can you grill those Brussels sprouts? So get ready: You can throw back a plant-based beer with your grilled brussels sprouts and wave your American flag. Call it July Fourth green.”

Like me, you’re probably saying out loud, “How the fuck does Larry Kudlow have a TV show?”

Larry Kudlow was one of the biggest bullshitters to come out of the Trump administration, and that’s saying a lot. So, why would anyone give this lying piece of crap a TV show? And it’s not even on Newsmax or OANN. It’s on Fox. Also, Larry, yes. You can grill brussels sprouts. Please do that and make Don Jr eat one. More on that in a minute.

Also, Larry you stupid fuck…every beer is a plant-based beer. Have you heard of wheat and barley? Look into it, you deranged filthy lying lunatic.

Other people who have pushed this lie are some of the usual liars like Qfucks Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert. Greene called Biden the “Hamburglar” and Don Jr, responding to a lie that Americans would only be allowed four pounds of red meat a year, that he had four pounds of red meat yesterday alone which puts a horrible image of a future Trump Jr colonoscopy into my brain. Dude, eat a vegetable.

North Carolina representative Madison Cawthorne, who already has a very sketchy history with not telling the truth, said, “Not only does Emperor Biden not want us to celebrate the 4th of July, now he doesn’t want us to have a burger on that day either.” Wow. He got two lies into one sentence. That’s like a double whopper.

By the way, I ordered from Burger King a few weeks ago and they have a deal for two Whoppers for the price of one. I didn’t need two Whoppers, but how do you turn down a free Whopper? Anyway…

Greg Abbott, who lied about wind turbines freezing being the cause of Texas’ blackout pushed the lie along with the governor of Idaho, who I’m shocked didn’t create a new lie about a Biden French fry ban. What a missed opportunity. They could make a new commercial with that Idaho potato farmer and his dog chasing his hijacked potato truck, with the hijacker being Joe Biden. Shit, did I just write their next commercial for free?

Nikki Haley tweeted a meme from her political action committee featuring Texas’ iconic “Come and Take It” flag, repurposed to show a burger dripping cheese instead of the cannon, with the text reading, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this was America.” This person was our ambassador to the United Nations. This shit is just embarrassing. If she did this shit while she still had that job, some EU member would have probably told her to shut up saying, “You Americans eat too much meat anyway. Look at Don Jr.”

Nobody is coming to take away your cheeseburgers…just your vote, your representative, and one of your electoral votes, and if you’re an immigrant, possibly your children.

As for Don Jr, I really think someone should introduce him to the Impossible Whopper. Seriously, dude. Four pounds of red meat a day? Is that a side effect of doing something else that would drive your adrenaline up There are just some things I don’t want to know.

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Trump’s Meat


cjones07172019

Donald Trump is using the citizenship question on the census and ICE raids to feed his shrinking political base. It’s another example of his not being president for all the people and using government resources for political means.

Trump caved on adding the citizenship question to the census after being knocked down by the Supreme Court, and another federal judge telling him he couldn’t change his legal team. Analysts were shocked that Trump caved, but he’s caved on multiple occasions, like during the government shutdown when he negotiated a deal where he got nothing.

Trump is now ordering other government agencies to compile citizenship data from existing federal records and to provide those results to the census. This won’t actually work, but it will give the perception to his base that he’s doing something about people who don’t look like them. This is a base that believes he’s actually building the wall and that Mexico will ultimately pay for it.

Trump and Republicans want to use the census for states to draw state, local, and congressional districts on the voting-eligible population. This will make an electorate that is more white and less diverse than the nation at large, whose majority is rejecting Republican policies. Republicans can’t win honestly anymore, so they’ll cheat and change the rules any way they can.

In selling this discrimination scheme, Republicans are lying. Sarah Huckabee Sanders claimed the citizenship question was asked until 2010, which is a lie. It hasn’t been a standard question since the 1950 census. Many of the Trump cult claim Obama removed it from the census, which of course is another lie unless, somehow he had it removed before the 1960 census shortly before his birth in Kenya in 1961. He was a busy baby.

The other detail is, the census has ALWAYS counted noncitizens starting with the first census in 1790. Congressional districts have always included noncitizens, even if those citizens were only recognized as 3/5ths of a person. This was a huge point of contention for non-slave states as it increased representation in southern states, and diminished theirs. Conservatives have always cheated to win elections and control the government. And yeah, as dumb as it sounds, slaves had congressional representation, even if they couldn’t vote and all their representatives wanted to keep them as slaves. I shouldn’t be giving Republicans any ideas.

Trump announced ICE raids in June, then postponed them. Now, he’s announced they’ll happen this Sunday, with ICE expected to pursue at least 2,000 immigrants.

In the past, Trump criticized the mayor of Oakland for announcing upcoming raids, calling her actions a “disgrace.” The acting Immigration and Customs Enforcement director at the time, Thomas Homan, said the mayor’s comments were “no better than a gang lookout yelling, ‘police!’ when a cruiser comes in the neighborhood.” A Republican congressman from Iowa proposed criminal penalties for officials who make similar disclosures. But, it’s OK when Trump or other Republicans do it.

Nobody would resist ICE raids if they were going after real criminals and not people whose only crime was crossing the border. What Trump is doing is ordering ICE to separate more families. Even families that aren’t targeted are under severe stress from this. This disrupts their work, school, and entire lives. That’s OK though because it makes a rabid base frothing at the mouth feel squishy inside.

This is just Trump being mean and hateful which is exactly what his base loves. They love child separation. They love discrimination. “Make America hate again” should be on the hat.

Hopefully, the red meat Trump tosses to his hateful base is the same as Trump steaks, non-existent and a total lie.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Watch Me Draw.

Disenfranchise Now, Take Names Later


cjones07022019

The Supreme Court ruled today that courts have no business deciding gerrymandering cases. Irony.

Writing the majority opinion, which was 5-4 and decided entirely by Republican-nominated justices, Roberts wrote that courts should stay out of politics. Keep in mind, they would not have won this decision if Mitch McConnell and the Republicans had not practiced cheap and dirty politics in stealing a seat from a Democratic president, and had squished him and another judge through by lowering the number of votes needed for confirmation. Again, irony.

What the Supreme Court just did was pave the way for continued partisanship and political bedlam. Gerrymandering has been utilized by both parties in the past, but more recently by Republican legislatures. This is a huge win for Republicans who need gerrymandering to win huge majorities while the majority of American voters reject them. Even in places like North Carolina where Republicans win over 50%, the GOP-led legislature uses gerrymandering to win over 70% of seats.

The court also gave liberals a win in the battle but not the war in the census question. The Trump administration wants to include a citizenship question in the 2020 census in order to dilute Democratic representation. Once again, Roberts voted with the majority but this time with the liberals.

It’s been proven that the Trump administration was using this politically. Now, Trump, acting like a fascist tyrant, is trying to delay the census in order to have the question included. Never mind the fact that the Constitution demands that there is to be no delay in the census.

While the court gave liberals a victory on the question, they left an opening for conservatives. Basically, the court decided the Trump administration’s argument was weak. What they told them was to return to the court later with better bullshit.

The court decided they should stay out of politics, even if those politics disenfranchise minorities, and left open a window for further disenfranchisement, not just of minorities but of Democratic voters.

I think the conservatives on the Supreme Court need to work on their bullshit.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Race With Jared


cjones06072019

In 2009, New York Post political cartoonist Sean Delonas drew a cartoon that made Vanity Fair write that he may be the “worst political cartoonist on the planet.” Obama had just signed a stimulus bill and Delonas drew a dead chimpanzee on the ground that was just gunned down by cops, who were saying, “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”

I didn’t have anything to do with that cartoon, but I knew it was racist.

In 2014, Boston Herald cartoonist Jerry Holbert, competing for Delonas’ title, drew a cartoon of someone crashing into the White House, sitting in Obama’s bathtub and asking the BLACK president, “Have you tried the new watermelon-flavored toothpaste?” Holbert denied ever knowing the connection but he caught serious flack for it, and his syndicate asked him to change the flavor in the text (which remained unchanged in the Herald).

I didn’t have anything to do with that cartoon, but I knew it was racist.

In 2014, cartoonist Gary McCoy drew black protesters in Ferguson, Missouri stealing TVs, one with a sign saying, “No 60″ plasma TV, no peace.”

I didn’t have anything to do with that cartoon, but I knew it was racist.

Glenn McCoy, Gary’s younger brother who competes with him over who can draw the largest purple lips on Obama (and also draws storyboards for the Despicable Me and Minions movies), drew a cartoon in 2017 comparing Betsy DeVos with Ruby Bridges, equating the protests DeVos was receiving to the racist attacks Ruby Bridges was receiving for being the first black child to enter an all-white school.

Do I really have to say it again?

While I don’t draw cartoons for the troglodyte audience, I am a political cartoonist. I’m in the same profession as the cartoonists mentioned above. Even though we don’t think alike, I’m in their wheelhouse. While not being involved with their cartoons, I can recognize their racism. Jared Kushner has been involved with Donald Trump for years, marrying his daughter, working on his campaign, attending secret meetings in Trump Tower with Russians, lying on security clearance applications, and occupying an unpaid position he’s unqualified for in the White House. Donald Trump is in Kushner’s wheelhouse.

In a bizarre interview with Axios, Kushner demonstrated his incompetence several times.

Perhaps the most bizarre take was when Kushner defended Trump from accusations of racism, saying, “You can’t not be a racist for 69 years and then run for president and be a racist.” Kushner could be correct because there are several examples over the past 69 years of Donald Trump’s racism and then he was kinda sorta elected president. But, hey, this is America. While Trump didn’t win the popular vote, his racism was not a dealbreaker for 62 million Americans.

When asked about Trump’s birther campaign, the lie that Obama wasn’t born in the U.S.A., and instead was born in Kenya, Jared said he didn’t know it was racist because “I was not involved with that.” Obviously, racism is not a dealbreaker for Jared either. He repeated the line several times adding, “That was a long time ago.” 2015 wasn’t THAT long ago, Trust Fund Baby.

The interviewer should have asked Jared if his new immigration plan is racist. It’s the plan that favors immigrants from Europe over Central America and Africa. Jared designed it with the help of the White House’s very own Baby Goebbels, Stephen Miller. Jared should know if this is racist or not since he is definitely involved with it and it wasn’t designed “a long time ago.”

He could have also been asked about Trump’s plans for the 2020 census that adds a question that will suppress participation by nonwhite people and, therefore, artificially increase white (and Republican) power in a new round of gerrymandering, which the GOP is foaming at the mouth for since the majority of Americans don’t vote for them anymore.

The administration argued to the public, the lower courts and the Supreme Court that the disadvantage to nonwhite Americans was statistically questionable and that the Justice Department needed the change to enforce the Voting Rights Act. That’s almost as bad as comparing Betsy Devos to Ruby Bridges.

Donald Trump is a racist and he’s stocked his White House with incompetent people, often through nepotism, with other racists. Or at the very least, if they’re not racists, racism is not a dealbreaker for them.

If you work for Donald Trump, support him, or voted for him, racism wasn’t a dealbreaker for you either. At some point, when racism stops being a dealbreaker for you, then you’re not just fine with racism too. You yourself have also become a racist.

Somewhere, there’s a white sheet with Jared’s name on it.

Creative note: I drew this cartoon this morning. Right before I started coloring, I got my D-Day cartoon idea. I pushed this one aside to publish the D-Day cartoon first. Also, I’ll update and let you know if any conservative cartoonists scream at me.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

An Icy Census


cjones04032018

Here’s a little civics primer for you: The Constitution of the United States requires the enumeration of people in the U.S. every 10 years for the purpose of apportioning congressional representatives. It also requires that representatives be apportioned among the states “according to their respective Numbers.” Federal law requires the Secretary of Commerce to count the “population,” not citizens.

The Constitution says “persons,” not citizens or green card holders. I understand this may be difficult to comprehend for those who have only read the 2nd Amendment (and interpret it to suit their means as well), but the Constitution requires Congressional representation of people, not just citizens or voters. Children are people, and they don’t vote, yet they have Congressional representation.

The Trump administration wants a citizenship question included in the census. This is an attempt to under-count blue states, specifically California. The administration claims the question is required to enforce the Voting Rights Act, but nobody is buying it.

You may have forgotten since it’s been eight years since you’ve seen a census, but you fill it out anonymously. It’s not a voter registration. Republicans claim the citizenship question is a fight against immigrants voting illegally (which is not a widespread problem), but that’s a stupid argument. Another argument is they’re trying to determine who makes up the population where they claim there are abuses at the polls. That means check the box that you’re not a citizen so Jeff Sessions will know where to send more ICE agents.

The census is supposed to be confidential, but the Trump administration is trying to use it to scare immigrants from answering. This won’t just affect Congressional representation, but also how federal tax money and services are distributed. It will also affect the electoral college, as those votes are based on Congressional seats. Donald Trump won the Electoral College while losing the popular vote, which is also how Republican George W. Bush won in 2000.

Since the census is anonymous and Federal law states it can’t be used to punish people, does that mean we can trust Trump and his Justice Department? Sure, if you want to believe a man who promised to make a deal on DACA before reneging, and is now complaining that Democrats won’t give him money for his stupid border wall after spending two years telling us Mexico would pay for it (and is now trying to steal the money for it from the military’s budget).

It’s funny how Republicans complain about illegal votes while using several methods to suppress minority voting, from gerrymandering to voter ID laws to even closing DMVs in rural areas with black populations in Southern states.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders claims the citizenship question has been used for every census over the past several decades except for the last one. That’s a lie. It has not been used in a national census since 1950. Over a dozen states, including California and New York, are now suing the Trump administration to block this measure.

Trump has been targeting immigrants since day one of his administration, and hating minorities also warm the cockles of Jeff Sessions’ heart. California and the administration have been at war since he took office. The state has sued or joined other states’ legal actions against Trump at least 31 times. The suits have been over immigration, including deportation threats to “Dreamers” and building the border wall, Obamacare, greenhouse gas emissions, coal production, clean water, and so on.

Donald Trump is a cheater and a liar. He can’t be trusted. He’s not just using the federal government to go after brown people, but to throw red meat to his racist base. When California, New York, and other blue states take Trump to court, they’re defending America.

These lawsuits will continue until Trump is no longer in the White House. Let’s hope that’s sooner than later.

Here’s the video.

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