Cartoons

Biden Tax Hike


Cjones04082021

Fox News, Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal, and other Republican outlets are playing Chicken Little over President Biden’s $2 trillion infrastructure plan and proposed tax hikes.

Oh my god! We knew it. Elect a socialist commie-hugging tax-and-spend liberal like Joe Biden, and taxes are going to go up. We told you so. Now, we’re all going to rue the day! “Rue” means you look back on the past and it’s often used with regret. For example: I rue the day I contributed to the Trump Campaign because they keep those donations recurring and all my shit bounced.

But if we’re going to rue, let’s rue on tax cuts. Ronald Reagan gave huge tax cuts to corporations and rich bastards. The idea was that giving rich people tax cuts would make them spend more. They’d hire more poor people. The rich would take that extra income and invest it into their businesses. They screamed it allowed hard workers and earners to keep more of their own money and it got government out of their pockets. Rich people having more money meant more people would have more money. They called it “trickle down.”

As we rue on that, we wonder, were Republicans merely wrong or were they lying? “Trickle down” never happened. Shockingly, greedy rich bastards didn’t trickle shit. They would normally take that money and put it into stocks, their savings, or into off-shore bank accounts. It didn’t make them hire more.

In 2017, Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell told us their tax cuts for billionaire assholes would trickle down and rich bastards’ investments into the economy wouldn’t hurt the federal budget because they would pay for themselves; we knew they were lying. We knew they were lying when George W. Bush tried to finance two wars with tax cuts for billionaire assholes.

When Donald Trump gave tax cuts to you and corporations, only those to corporations were permanent. The tax cuts he gave you expire. But all the Republican mofos giving out dire warnings about what this will do to the federal debt were silent on that shit when they were giving billionaires tax cuts. They were silent about the deficit when Donald Trump gave himself a tax cut. They were silent when they eliminated the inheritance tax for trust-fund babies like Ivanka, Tiffany, Don Jr, and Eric. There should be a fucking tax for naming your kid “Ivanka.”

Republicans are good at convincing poor whites tax cuts for billionaires will help them, even though we’ve had over 40 years of that not happening. President Obama gave the poor and middle class tax cuts, but most of the white people who received the Obama tax cuts don’t recall them, despite the fact they were bigger cuts for them than the ones Trump gave them. That’s a fact. Now, they’re going to freak out because President Joe Biden is going to raise taxes.

Except, President Biden is not raising their taxes. Unless you are a big corporation or an individual making over $400,000 a year, you’re going to be OK. But honestly, if you are a big corporation or making over $400,000 a year, you’re still going to be OK.

Here are the facts: President Biden is NOT raising your taxes. He’s raising the top individual tax rate from 37 percent to the pre-Trump rate of 39.6 percent. That’s a 2.6 percent increase for people who make an obscene amount of money. The corporate rate would rise from 21 percent to 28 percent. A 15 percent alternative minimum tax would apply to corporate book income of $100 million and higher. If you don’t know what “corporate book income” means, you’re going to be OK from this tax hike. I’ll tell you what it means though: All those corporations making profits but find ways not to pay any federal taxes, like Amazon, will be forced to pay taxes. Go, Joe Biden!!!!

People making over $400,000 will pay additional payroll taxes. The estate tax exemption would drop by about 50 percent. Taxpayers whose income exceeds $1 million would pay the same rate on investment income as applies to wages. The carried interest “loophole,” claimed by many private-equity and hedge-fund managers, would be eliminated.

Also, the maximum Child and Dependent Tax Credit would rise from $3,000 to $8,000 ($16,000 for more than one dependent). Tax relief would be offered for student debt forgiveness and the first-time homebuyers credit would be restored.

I’ve heard it explained before that the reason poor people vote for Republican policies is because they believe they’re also rich. They just haven’t gotten their money yet. That investment is going to happen, or an inheritance will hit, or they’ll win the lottery, or maybe win a major liability lawsuit after slipping in the KY-jelly aisle at Walmart. Stop wearing your fucking house slippers to Walmart, assholes.

The majority of people receiving welfare benefits are white. Most of them vote Republican. I doubt a lot of them are reading Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal, or any newspaper, but they’re watching his network that’s scaring them over tax cuts that won’t hit them. If anything, their paychecks are going to increase. Here’s another fact: President Joe Biden just gave each of them an additional $1,400. There is a fine art to screaming about the federal debt while cashing in $1,400 from the government. By the way, Rupert Murdoch is worth somewhere between $13 and $19 billion. If you’re crying for Rupert, come over here so I can hit you in the face with nunchakus.

With Joe Biden’s tax hikes, you’re going to be OK. Rupert Murdoch will be OK. He will not have to pawn any of his private jets, so don’t lose any sleep over that.

Don’t get angry over tax hikes on the rich. What should have been making you angry are the corporations that don’t just get huge tax cuts, but often receive their own welfare checks from the government. Our government spends double on corporate welfare for companies like Exxon than it spends on social welfare that provides milk to babies.

I have an entirely separate angry rant over motherfuckers who scream about social welfare but are silent over corporate welfare. If you are one of them, you might be a racist.

What should make you angry is that 91 corporations paid zero in federal taxes in 2018. Companies like Netflix, Amazon, Delta, Chevron, Gannett (motherfuckers!), IBM, Haliburton, General Motors, Good Year, Jetblue, Whirlpool, Honeywell, Coors, etc, etc.

IBM made $500 million and got a tax rebate of $342 million. Coors made $1.3 billion and got a rebate of $22.9 million. What about Amazon? They made over $11 billion. That’s “billion” with a “B.” They got a rebate of $129 million. My question: How can I get one of their tax lawyers to do my taxes? These companies are reporting millions and billions in profits and getting rebates.

If you’re getting angry over President Biden forcing these corporations to actually pay taxes, then you’re probably never going to be a millionaire because you are too stupid. The only way stupid people become millionaires is if it’s given to them. Look at Donald Trump, who by the way, has had years where he paid less than $700 in income tax.

I’m a freelancer which means I don’t get a tax refund. Even though I don’t make much, I send the United States Treasury money every year. When I’m sending money and see that Amazon is getting a rebate and a guy boasting he’s worth over $5 billion only paying a few hundred, I get angry.

I haven’t done my taxes for 2020 yet. Why? Partly because I procrastinate, it’s a lot of work, and I know I’m going to get angry.

Stop getting angry at the wrong people.

Note on trailers: I don’t mean to be an elitist snob to people who live in trailers. Who am I to be a snob when I live in a studio apartment over a taco restaurant? I do not make a lot of money. I’m poor. Plus, I have lived in trailers, as a kid and a young adult. But, I seriously doubt there’s anyone living in a mobile home making over $400,000 a year. Sorry to play the stereotype of lower-income white Republicans in trailer parks but I thought it was the best way for me to make my point. I do know some liberals who live in trailers and it’s for them I’m writing this note.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have THREE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Recurring Grifting


Cjones04072021

Donald Trump is a grifter and grifters gotta grift.

We know Trump is a grifter. The people who don’t want to accept that fact, despite the overwhelming evidence, are members of the Trump cult.

When Trump ran for president in 2016, he boasted how he didn’t need donations…while he accepted donations. Every politician accepts donations. But Donald Trump, being a “businessman” who owns hotels and golf resorts, found ways to put those donations into his own pocket.

His campaign headquarters were in Trump Tower on 5th Avenue in New York City. Donald Trump charged his campaign for rent. He overcharged his campaign for rent. His campaign held event at Trump hotels and resorts…and the properties overcharged for those events.

As president (sic), he winked-winked and nudged-nudged he was accepting bribes and that to get in his good favor, you should spend money at his properties. Every conservative lobbying group and foreign interest held events, parties, and fundraisers at Trump properties, especially in Washington, DC. Foreign governments, like Saudi Arabia, would rent rooms at Trump hotels while the top diplomats would actually stay in hotels Trump didn’t own, probably because they wanted to stay somewhere better and not get bedbugs from sleeping on an infested mattress.

Remember the video of a Republican event shortly after Trump was sworn in and there were people throwing up heils? Yeah, that was the Washington Trump Hotel.

Usually, when people kiss their boss’ ass, they use flattery. You would think with Donald Trump, they’d tell him his ill-fitting suits looked wonderful or that the thing on his head didn’t look like a bleached weasel carcass. But no. Attorney General William Barr wanted to throw a party, so he spent around $30,000 to hold it at the Trump Hotel in Washington. You would think suppressing investigations into Trump goons, lying about Russian meddling, and dropping a huge deuce on the Mueller Report would be enough ass kissing. But not William Barr, who felt the need to hand Trump $30,000.

There are places that specialize in selling mattresses. They’re called retail stores. That’s where a normal non-corrupt person would purchase a mattress. Scott Pruitt, who was on the Trump cabinet at the time as director of the Environmental Protection Agency (in charge of dropping deuces on the environment), inquired about purchasing a used mattress from the Washington Trump Hotel. You would think after hearing the Russian hooker pee-pee story, even if it’s not true, Donald Trump would be the last person you would buy a used mattress from.

Trump didn’t just grift from his campaign, friends, and foreign governments. He grifted us too. He went to his own golf resorts as often as he could. He charged the government for rooms used by White House staff and the Secret Service. The Secret Service actually had to book rooms they never actually used, just in case Donald Trump wanted to go golfing. Of course, the rates for these rooms always went up for the government. Donald Trump even charged the Secret Service rental fees for golf carts so they could follow him around to protect him. Donald Trump charged us to protect him. It’s a nice racket, eh?

Why did Donald Trump take the leaders of foreign governments to his resorts? That way, he got to charge their governments hotel fees too. Of course, people eat…so they gotta pay for that too. Remember when he boasted about how much Xi Jinping loved the chocolate cake at Mar-a-Rob-o? That slice of cake probably cost $89.79.

Donald Trump attempted to host the G-7 Summit at one of his failing resorts and claimed it was the best location…and only suitable location in the nation for the summit. His ambassador to the United Kingdom, who also owns the New York Jets, attempted to get the British Open golf tournament held at one of Trump’s UK golf resorts. By the way, golf experts and golfing publications rank Trump golf resorts as shit. The only time you see an alligator at a Trump golf resort in Florida is when he’s using it as a short cut to a better golf resort.

Trump grifts. He used his charity to organize events with his political campaign, which is illegal. He used donations to his charity to purchase gifts for himself. His charity was dismantled by the state of New York for grifting and Donald Trump and three of his little fucky grifty children are now barred from engaging in any activity with any charity in the state of New York. And don’t get me started on his fake university which has also been dismantled by the state of New York. These motherfuckers grift.

Trump supporters love and belief in all things Trump begins and ends with him being a rich man…but they ignore that he inherited and grifted his way to becoming rich. They ignore his tax scams. They ignore he pays less in income taxes than they do. They ignore all the businesses of his that have failed. Donald Trump’s most successful business is convincing stupid people he’s successful at business. But even now, selling his name to hotels he doesn’t own is failing. After he sent racist MAGA terrorists to topple the government, putting Trump’s name on your hotel would be akin to calling it “Bin Laden Comfort Bed & Suites.”

As I said, Trump supporters are the only ones who fail to see that Donald Trump is a conman, even as they spend $30 for Trump straws. But, the ones being taken for thousands of dollars may be starting to see the light.

Stacy Blatt is a Trump supporter who lived on $1,000 a month while battling cancer. Rush Limbaugh told Mr. Blatt that Donald Trump needed his help. So Stacy Blatt sent Donald Trump $500. Wow. That’s a lot for someone in Mr. Blatt’s position and very generous. Then, Stacy Blatt contributed another $500 the next day, and another $500 the next week, and eventually gave Donald Trump $3,000, depleting his bank account and making his rent and utility payments bounce. Only thing is, Stacy Blatt did not know he was contributing beyond the first donation of $500. He didn’t know until everything started bouncing.

The thing is, at the website to give Donald Trump money for his failing campaign, had a little tiny box to make the payment recurring. In case you’re a Trump supporter, “recurring” means doing it again and again and again and….you get the idea. In this case, it does it again and again until you’re out of money. But Stacy Blatt never checked that little tiny box. Nope. It was pre-checked. As in, the Trump campaign had already checked it and was hoping he wouldn’t notice.

These people were being robbed for thousands by the Trump Campaign because of a pre-checked box, meanwhile, I’m paranoid about a pre-checked box getting me bombed with text messages from Pizza Hut. No, you don’t, pizza fuckers. Uncheck! Uncheck! Uncheck!

Stacy Blatt did not notice that box for recurring donations was pre-checked. What’s more, he didn’t notice the SECOND prechecked box, known internally as a “money bomb,” that doubled a person’s contribution. Stacy Blatt was not the only person who failed to notice the grifter boxes. Thousands fell for this. Money-bomb? They should call it “grifter-bomb.”

Soon, banks and credit card companies were inundated with fraud complaints. Why? Because it was fraud. Donald Trump is a thief. And even as some people received refunds, many still had to pay overdraft fees. Many even canceled their credit cards and closed their bank accounts. Banks have those pre-checked boxes too where you agree to allow them to pay charges when your account is overdrawn and add $30.00 to each one. I received a letter from my bank offering that “protection” about a decade ago and I burned it. That “protection” can lead to you being thousands of dollars in debt before you’re even aware of it.

All political campaigns have to issue refunds for various reasons. Usually it’s over legal limits. Often, a contributor gives too much and the campaign notifies them and returns some of the donation. For example, the Joe Biden 2020 presidential campaign and other Democratic committees issued online refunds totaling $21 million. The Trump Campaign, the Republican National Committee, and other associated fundraising goons issued over $122 million in refunds to online donors.

The Trump Campaign refunded 10.7 percent of the money it raised on WinRed, the for-profit fundraising platform it used for online donations. The Democrats only refunded 2.2 percent it raised online through its platform, ActBlue.

Doesn’t that kinda tell you who you should have voted for? Hey, I’m going to vote for the guy who doesn’t steal from elderly people on fixed incomes battling cancer.

Donald Trump was able to use all this stolen money in the final months of his campaign, and when the bill came due to issue refunds, he used money from his “stolen election” lie fundraising campaign to cover those. It’s a shell game. On top of that, it amounted to an interest-free loan from his cult. These people literally paid interest in overdraft fees to give Donald Trump a loan.

Do you remember when goons like Ronna McDaniel, the R.N.C. chairwoman, went on Fox News and other venues to boast about the fundraising of the Trump Campaign? Yeah, fucknuts like her and Jason Miller, who still has a job lying for Trump, never mentioned the part about stealing from their own supporters.

I was wrong. Donald Trump is successful at two things. Convincing people he’s successful and stealing money. The Trump Campaign and RNC accounted for three percent of all credit card fraud in the United States in 2020. Political donations account for a very small part of the U.S. economy, so that three percent is a LOT. This is another reason Donald Trump should be in prison.

We’ve been telling Trump goons for five years that Donald Trump is a grifter. He’s a conman. He’s a crook. Trump supporters are slow learners. Cancer eventually killed Stacy Blatt but one of his last experiences in life was learning that Donald Trump is a crook. He learned Donald Trump is a crook who really doesn’t care about his supporters.

Hopefully, other Trump supporters won’t have to learn that lesson as late as Stacy Blatt did, on his deathbed.

Donald Trump is a grifter and he will literally grift you to death.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have THREE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Multitasking


Cjones04062021

After Donald Trump sent right-wing racist terrorists to attack the United States Capitol, killing one police officer, with two committing suicide days after, and over 100 injured from the Capitol Police force, with one losing an eye and another losing several fingers, conservatives were baffled that liberals were upset over an attack on police. I mean, aren’t liberals against cops?

No. Liberals are not against cops and we are not against having police. Sure, there’s a fringe element that wants to do away with all police and the slogan “defund the police” is a major distraction, but most liberals want police. The thing is, we want honest cops. We want a system that treats everyone equally. We want a system that doesn’t single out unarmed black Americans for punishment and unfair treatment. We don’t want cops killing unarmed black people over stuff like selling loose cigarettes, passing a counterfeit $20, or driving while black. We don’t want cops busting into the wrong house and killing the black occupants. We don’t want cops killing a man because they thought his cell phone was a gun. We don’t want cops killing a child for playing with a toy gun. It’s insane to think that people who don’t support racist cops are against cops.

Think of it like pizza. Just because I don’t want pineapple on my pizza doesn’t mean I’m against all pizza. Yes, I just equated pineapple pizza to racist cops. They both fuck up good things.

What’s insane is one day supporting racist cops and the next day, supporting the white nationalist MAGA terrorists who kills cops. But unlike conservatives, I am not baffled by this hypocrisy because I know it’s not really cops conservatives love. They love the racism. They love the Trump cult.

If Donald Trump sent Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, and other assorted racist MAGA terrorist goons to kill Jesus on Easter, Trump supporters would defend that. In the racist MAGA goons defense, he was a zombie.

Republicans are clinging to a racist system that’s denying black Americans the right to vote and supporting two separate justice systems, one for blacks and the other for whites.

You can be upset over the killing of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, and Tamir Rice while also being upset over the killings of Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick and Officer Billy Evans.

Officer Sicknick was killed by Trump terrorists during their insurrection at the Capitol. Officer Evans was killed Friday by a man driving his car into Capitol Police at the Capitol, and then sprang from his car wielding a knife.

Trump supporters are simple-minded beasts. For them, everything is as simplistic as black and white (no pun intended). Fox News and Donald Trump only have to point toward the direction for the cult to go, and they go with no questions being asked.

We on the left understand life and humans are a bit more complex. You can hate pineapple on pizza while not hating pineapple. You can hate a racist like Papa John selling his racist pineapple pizza while not hating pizza. Life is complex.

Don’t be afraid to speak out for and against cops. Don’t be afraid to speak up against a racist system in our nation’s police forces. If you’re not a Trump supporter, you can multitask.

Creative note: I have a friend named Brian Evans, so I had to be very careful that I didn’t let my mind get sloppy and label one of the stones with his name. Also, big shout-out to my copy editor Hilary today who Googled and proofed each of these names while standing in line to get vaccinated at Gillette Stadium. My proof ladies really do rock.

On another creative note, I originally had “multitask” lettered in one line, but it really looked weird to me because “tit” is in the word. Look at it. “Multitask.” Maybe it was just my eyes, but it was glaring out to me. So, I moved it into two lines as an excuse to hyphenate it. Now that’s an obscure creative note. If I was going to sneak “tit” into a cartoon, I’d do it with something like “titmouse.” I’m like Homer Simpson and I can’t hear that word without giggling.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have THREE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

No Balls For Racists


Cjones04052021

Charlie Kirk is a very young conservative activist and the founder of Turning Point USA, a conservative group that pushes toxic right-wing bullshit to white high school and college students and pays him a salary of over $300,000 a year which is why he lives in a fancy-schmancy million-dollar condo on the water in Longjohn, Florida. After Major League Baseball pulled its annual All-Star game out of Georgia over the new voting laws, Kirk tweeted something dishonest and stupid.

He tweeted, “The MLB is okay playing games in Communist China and Communist Cuba but they draw the line at Georgia requiring signature verification & voter ID?” Did you know MLB had games scheduled to be played in Cuba and China this year? Me neither. The reason we don’t know this is because they don’t. But then again, Kirk has pushed multiple lies about the coronavirus pandemic and Donald Trump “winning” the election, among a lot of other lies.

Sure, MLB had two spring-training games in China back in 2008, and the Tampa Bay Rays played a game in Havana against the Cuba national team with President Barack Obama in attendance, but these events are in the past and the U.S. Constitutional right to vote doesn’t apply to people in China and Cuba. What Charlie Kirk did was play whatabout. It’s to deflect from the facts. It’s to protect racists. Maybe he should shut up and dribble?

Charlie Kirk mentioned signature verification and voter ID in his lame tweet. What he didn’t bring up, surely intentionally, was that Georgia Republicans crafted a new law that has made voting harder for black Americans. It has shortened voting times, eliminated drop boxes, made absentee voting more stringent, give the legislature power over local election boards, and has even made bringing someone waiting in line to vote a bottle of water into crime. Of course Kirk was dishonest. He’s a conservative and a Trump supporter. Have you ever met an honest Trump supporter? That’s a rhetorical question because honest Trump supporters do not exist.

Legislators in 43 states are trying to duplicate the racist voting laws in Georgia. There are currently over 250 measures to make it more difficult for some Americans to vote. We should be expanding the ability to vote, not suppressing it. We should not be making voting harder. In this country, it’s easier to purchase an assault weapon than it is for some Americans to vote.

The New York Times examined and published a detailed breakdown of what the law actually does.

The reason there are so many efforts by Republicans across the nation to hamper voting is because Republicans can’t win with their messages and policies. Republicans sell their policies with, “Hey, how about some racist shit and other shit that helps billionaire assholes become even bigger billionaire assholes?” And most Americans say, “Eh. No thanks.” So, Republicans respond with, “Since that person doesn’t like our policies to expand a system of racism for billionaire assholes let’s stop that person from voting.” In case you haven’t been paying attention over the lifespan of this entire country, it works.

While we are a racist country, the majority of us are not racists. How can that be? We have a very racist system that Republicans are fighting to preserve while the majority of Americans are voting to remove it. For example, our political system currently has an equal number of Democrats and Republicans in the United States Senate, despite the FACT Democrats represent over 41 million more Americans than Republicans do. White conservatives expect and demand more political representation. Senate Republicans, despite representing a lot fewer Americans than the Democrats, can block any legislation they don’t like. Despite representing fewer Americans, and with this number dropping each election, Republicans have more justices on the federal courts. While the number of Americans who support Republicans and their racist policies is decreasing by the day, their majority on the Supreme Court will last for decades.

Have you ever seen one of those stupid maps on Facebook idiots post that’s supposed to represent how the country is voting? The majority of the map is ridiculously red while there are little blots of blue here and there. They claim this proves the bulk of the nation is voting Republican. What they fail to point out is that those little blots of blue are cities and urban centers while most of the red are areas are sparsely populated counties where if you hear banjo music, you better run. It works like this: Say there’s an 800-square-mile county in Nebraska and the entire population consists of two Trump-supporting cow fuckers with really bad personal hygiene. That entire 800-square-mile county will be red. Sharing those maps and trying to prove the majority of Americans want racist policies is another example of conservatives and Trump supporters being dishonest…unless they actually believe those maps; then it’s another example of them being morons.

Now Major League Baseball has pulled the 2021 All-Star game out of Georgia which was planned for this July. Rob Manford, the commission of Major League Baseball issued a statement that read, “Major League Baseball fundamentally supports voting rights for all Americans and opposes restrictions to the ballot box. Fair access to voting continues to have our unwavering support.”

This will cost Georgia millions. This now puts pressure on other companies in the state, such as Delta and Coca-Cola. It puts pressure on Hollywood which is producing shows and movies like crazy in Georgia. “The Walking Dead” is made in Georgia. They make “Stranger Things” in Georgia. All those Avenger movies? Georgia. I watched “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” last night. Once again, fucking Georgia. Can you appreciate the irony they made “Black Panther” in Georgia? We need King T’Challa right now to kick some Republican ass in Georgia.

The MLB boycott It also puts pressure on companies in other states, such as Dell Technologies and American Airlines. Hopefully, it’ll put pressure on racist Republican legislators to stop creating racist voting laws.

Republicans defend themselves over the accusations these laws are racist and restrict voting rights by saying, “Uh-uh. Does not. It expands them in my neighborhood, so what are you talking about? My one black friend saw the law and said, ‘Dy-no-mite!’ This makes life better for black people who enjoy standing in long lines for hours without water. White power! Oops. Did I say that part out loud? Look! A squirrel!”

The states enacting these laws are working to become oppressive fascist states where only the privileged can vote. That brings us back to that Turning Point fucker.

Charlie Kirk, with the limited activity he has going on inside his cranium, did manage to get one thing right…inadvertently. He equated the racist, oppressive Republican-led government of Georgia with fascist oppressive governments in China and Cuba. Good job, Moron. Thanks for making our point for us. Now, put the Twitter device down before you hurt yourself.

Every eligible American has the right to vote. His/her rights should not be hindered. Here comes the pun: Everyone has the right to play ball. Voting rights for black Americans should not be encumbered by those without balls…or in the case of people like Charlie Kirk, whose balls haven’t dropped yet.

Creative note: Usually, when a cartoonist borrows, lifts, or steals from another (usually, one more famous and successful) for a political cartoon, like I did today, they write, “With apologies to…” I totally forgot to do that with today’s cartoon and I should have given Sparky a public apology. I truly owe him an apology as my making one of his characters a Klansman may not be something he’d be thrilled with. Sorry, Charlie.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have THREE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Giggity Gaetz


Cjones04042021

Three things I have never liked much are clubs, DJs, and frat boys.

The first thing I did when I was newly single after my marriage was check out clubs with some new single friends. I hated it. Sure, I spent a lot of years single and going out for cocktails with friends. But a lot of that was part of the music scene I was in and in dive bars. Dive bars are different than clubs. Clubs are usually flashier with strobe lights and techno music playing, have a polo-shirt dress code, and a ridiculous cover guys are willing to pay to meet girls who are usually let in for free. Dive bars are usually falling apart, have regulars, a jukebox and TV, you know the bartender and he knows you, there is not a dress code, and NEVER a cover.

Clubs have overpriced drinks with the business strategy that you purchase these oversized drink for women you just met. In clubs, the women tend to run in packs and often if you want to buy one a shot, then you gotta buy all the friends a shot. In dive bars, they have PBR. You can purchase an expensive drink at a dive bar but you normally don’t go there for that.

In clubs, people tend to get dumber. In dive bars, you encounter more sarcasm. In clubs, you find frat boys. In dive bars, frat boys are barely tolerated. In dive bars, you can find ethnic diversity, liberals, rednecks, people who are straight, people who are gay, and drag queens. People go to clubs to pick up other people for sex. Sure, in a dive bar, you can take home some strange, but it’s usually happenstance.

Clubs also have DJs. I hate DJs. I hate going to a place to pay a cover to watch some tasteless asshole spin his record collection. Fuck that guy and fuck that club. A lot of DJs also think they are musicians. They are not. You are not a musician because you are spinning other people’s music…even if you get credit for the song selection. At best, you’re a shitty producer or engineer. DJs have Denning-Kruger syndrome when it comes to taste. They don’t have taste but they think they do.

Then there are frat boys. If you are a member of a fraternity, that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Being a member of a fraternity doesn’t make you a frat boy. The frat boy is the guy who’s a date-raping, entitled trust-fund baby, always hitting on women, disrespecting them as if they’re part of his property, runs in a pack of assholes, showered in Axe body spray that has a scent called “Misty Green Monster Voodoo” or some shit, and while he’ll buy a $12 shot to pick up a hottie, the beer in his keg is Miller High Life because he doesn’t care about the quality when it could land in either his belly or be boofed up his ass. Seriously.

Do you know where to find frat boys (other than frats)? At clubs where DJs are playing.

Every time I see Matt Gaetz, I see an entitled trust-fund baby frat boy. We always knew he was a d-bag, but this investigation into him and sex trafficking is proving he’s a bigger bag-of-dicks than we were aware of. How is that even possible?

The Justice Department is looking into whether Gaetz didn’t just pay for an underage teenage girl to fly across state lines to have sex with him, but if he was paying other women for sex. They’re looking to see if he paid women in cash and drugs. And according to people who work in the U.S. Capitol, Gaetz is really fond of showing nude photos of women he slept with to fellow congressmen on the floor of the House.

Whoever told the press about the nude photos was not a Democrat. One of the people who leaked it is a supposed friend of Gaetz. The first question I had when I heard of Matt Gaetz sharing nude photos was: Has Brett Kavanaugh seen them?

Of course, the Supreme Court Justice doesn’t have anything to do with this case, but when I think of asshole frat boys boofing beer up their assholes, I think of Matt Gaetz and Brett Kavanaugh. While both of these guys are disrespectful to women, the one difference between them is that Gaetz may not last the week, and we’re stuck with Kavanaugh for the next 30 years.

In regards to Gaetz sharing nude photos: It’s very inappropriate. For one thing, he’s doing it on the floor of the House. Now, I know Republicans don’t respect the Capitol as they’re willing to back a white supremacist terrorist attack on it. But how about exhibiting just a little dignity on the floor, hmm? Also, most guys don’t want to see the nude photos on your phone of women you slept with. I don’t even wanna know you have them.

Also, carrying nude photos around on your phone, that’s just creepy. And if you have received nude photos from a woman or she allowed you to take them, that does NOT give you the right to share them with your buddies. I guarantee the photos Gaetz has were given to him with the intention they were for his eyes only. To share them is disrespecting the person who gave them to you and it doesn’t make you look cool.

Also, when a woman gives you photos, they don’t belong to you. If she ever requests that you delete them, you delete them. They’re not your photos. But if you send them to someone like Matt Gaetz, they’ll become everyone’s photo.

There’s an old-antiquated idea that when we vote, we choose from amongst the best of us. Now, it’s like the entire Republican Party is racing to the bottom. It’s like they’re trying to out vile each other. They went from being the party of family values and patriotism to the party of “grab them by the pussy” and pro-Putin. They laugh at children being ripped from their families in order to “own the libs.” Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Matt Gaetz are not the best of us.

Quite frankly, I’d rather vote for Quagmire.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FOUR copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

GaetzGate


Cjones04032021

How did the Republican Party come to this? How did the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Ike, and Reagan become the party that defends terrorists and pedophiles? OK. “Accused” pedophiles.

In 2017, the Republican Party made Roy Moore their nominee for Jeff Session’s vacated Alabama Senate seat after several allegations were made that he was into surfing food courts in malls to pick up teenage girls. Now, the party with a huge faction that believes Hillary Clinton was operating a child-sex trafficking ring in a Washington, D.C. pizza joint has to decide if it wants to defend Congressman Matt Gaetz from accusations of…wait for it…sex trafficking. Funny enough, Gaetz once floated the idea of himself running for that Alabama Senate seat…thinking his district bordering Alabama makes him eligible. To be fair, a lot of people do believe the Florida panhandle to be an extension of Alabama.

So, what exactly is sex trafficking? In this case, it’s when a minor is transported for the purpose of sex. Say you live in Florida, and you pay to fly a minor in from Arizona to shag, that’s sex trafficking. Remember, these are only accusations so far in regard to Matt Gaetz, who has been accused of traveling with a 17-year-old girl across state lines and then having sex with her.

The New York Times broke the news Gaetz has also been accused of being one of the dumbest most do-nothing useless members of Congress in decades. These accusations are accurate. Gaetz has a history of everything coming from his mouth being a shitshow. He’s also been accused of being a ridiculous human being.

Gaetz recently flew to Wyoming (no word on if he took any 17-year-olds on that trip) to campaign against fellow Republican Liz Cheney because she exercised her conscience and independence and voted to impeach Donald Trump. Now maybe Liz Cheney should fly to Gaetz’s district and campaign against him. The only downside to that is that she would have to physically be in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle district. We could call it “Floribama,” or “Alaflora,” or “Aladuh,” or “Floppitbappity.” I’ll work on it.

Last year in the early stages of the coronavirus pandemic, he mocked the seriousness of the health concern by wearing a gas mask on the floor of the House. Later that week, one of the first people to die from the virus in this nation was in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle congressional district. “Flababama!” No?

Gaetz is a Trump sycophant. He supported the pardon of Roger Stone. He claimed Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s act of tearing up Trump’s State of the Union speech in 2020 was illegal. He tried to decertify the election Trump lost, helped Trump claim it was stolen from him, and supported the insurrection. Later, he voted against a measure condemning the coup in Myanmar, probably because he’s a big fan of coups. He’s also a big fan of conspiracy theories and uses the term “deep state” a lot. For example: “The deep state has accused me of rawdogging teenagers!”

A political ally of Gaetz was indicted on charges related to sex trafficking and that’s where this current investigation comes from. Someone may have thrown Gaetz under the bus. And from reading about how much people really dislike Matt Gaetz, that’s probably true. Gaetz claims it’s part of an extortion plot and the entire thing is politically motivated because nobody likes him. That is true. Nobody likes him. Gaetz brags that he doesn’t have a lot of friends in Washington and is proud that most of his true friends are in the Florida panhandle. “Bamafamu?”

This investigation was started last year in the final months of the Trump occupation of our government. William Barr was the Attorney General, who has to approve and be briefed on all investigations on members of Congress. This is not an attack by liberals or Democrats.

Gaetz says he’s being blackmailed by David McGee, a former official of the Justice Department. Gaetz claims McGee is blackmailing his father for $25 million to make sex-trafficking allegations go away. The problem here is, McGee has not been a member of the Justice Department in over two decades AND (this part is important) the inquiry into the sex-trafficking charges was BEFORE there was any so-called extortion attempts. There’s also the problem of: how do you blackmail Matt Gaetz by threatening you’ll make people think worse of him?

Gaetz claims the FBI was so concerned with this extortion attempt, that they had his father wear a wire which is a process that probably doesn’t work when the wire-wearer’s idiot son goes to the media and says his father’s wearing a wire.

While Gaetz is defending himself from these charges of sex with a minor, keep in mind he’s been living with an un-adopted male immigrant named Nestor since Nestor was 12 years old. Gaetz has referred to Nestor as his son, his helper, and a “local student.” Is Florida the only place where an unmarried grown man can live with an un-adopted 12-year-old?

While Gaetz has denied having sex with a 17-year-old, at least not since he was 17 (he said this), he openly brags about dating younger women and freely admits he’s paid for their flights and hotels to be with him.

According to The Daily Beast, Republicans don’t like him and there’s an informal rule not to appear on TV with him at any time for any reason. Why is this? Because Republicans who know Gaetz expect an incoming scandal with the dude at any time.

Again, according to the Beast, more than a half-dozen lawmakers have spoken to reporters about “his love of alcohol and illegal drugs, as well as his proclivity for younger women.” The article states, “It’s well-known among Republican lawmakers that Gaetz was dating a college student—one over the age of consent—in 2018. She came to Washington as an intern.”

A GOP staffer from Capitol Hill said, “I don’t think you’ll find a lot of people who are desperate to keep him involved in Republican politics.” One of those Republicans sent The Daily Beast a photo of a trash bin outside Gaetz’s office as lawmakers cleared out their offices at the end of a recent session. At the top of the heap was an empty “Costco-size” box of “Bareskin” Trojan condoms, extra small. Whoever gets that office after Gaetz may want to decontaminate it with a flamethrower. As Star-Lord in “Guardians of the Galaxy” would say, “If I had a black light, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.”

In fact, only two Republican members of the House have publicly defended Gaetz so far. They are Jim Jordan, who’s another Trump sycophant and has been accused of being aware of sexual abuse among coaches and wrestlers when he was a coach at Ohio State University, and Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Qanon fucknut who is currently barred from any committee assignments. That’s not good company. Gaetz, like Jordan, Greene, and Lauren Boebert, don’t do any actual work as United States Representatives and only use their offices for higher profiles.

Even Tucker Carlson tried to distance himself from Matt Gaetz after giving him a platform to explain himself.

Matt Gaetz appeared on “Tucker Carlson Tonight” with a hair style that now has yard gnomes searching for a new look. Tucker’s show is one his own lawyers successfully argued in court can’t be believed by anyone “reasonable.” But still, more credible than Newsmax, where it’s been reported Gaetz has a job waiting if he chooses to leave Congress. That would be awesome for all of us because nobody watches Newsmax.

During the interview, Gaetz claimed innocence and said Tucker could appreciate his situation saying he was “not the only person on screen right now who’s been falsely accused of a terrible sex act.” Thanks to Matt Gaetz, Tucker had to go back over two decades to explain something he’s spent two decades trying to make fade away from everyone’s memories. Thanks a lot, buddy. Why didn’t Matt just claim all those extra-small “Bareskin” Trojans belonged to Tucker?

Then, Gaetz attempted to not just rope Tucker into his shit, but to make make him a witness. He said a female friend of his was threatened by the FBI and told “she could face trouble” if she didn’t confess to authorities that Gaetz was involved in a “pay-for-play scheme,” and that Tucker had met her. Gaetz said, “You and I went to dinner about two years ago. Your wife was there, and I brought a friend of mine, you’ll remember her.”

This is why you don’t go to dinner with Matt Gaetz. Or, at least one more reason.

Tucker quickly said that not only does he not remember this woman, but he doesn’t even remember the dinner. Thanks to Matt, Tucker’s next guests may be the FBI with subpoenas. After the interview, Tucker said, “That was one of the weirdest interviews I’ve ever conducted” and that it “didn’t clarify much.” Next time, interview a yard gnome. They don’t implicate you in sex-trafficking scandals.

According to some people at Fox News, Tucker was “pissed.”

Matt Gaetz has not been charged and is innocent until proven guilty. But Gaetz’s allegations of extortion could be true while the accusations of sex trafficking could also be true. One does not cancel out the other. Matt Gaetz, being a Republican and a Trump supporter, is probably not aware of that. This is a guy who believes if he screams “deep state” enough, it’ll make all the accusations disappear.

There are so many questions here. How bad are you when other Republicans don’t want anything to do with you? How horrible are you that even Tucker wants distance? How bad are you if your only true support is Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene? Is he guilty? Was there extortion? What does Nestor think of this? How small were those condoms? Where does one purchase a black light?

Also, in case you’ve never seen one, do NOT Google Jackson Pollock paintings.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trump Toast


Cjones04022021

On a recent night at Mar-a-Lago, the guy who used to occupy the White House raised a glass of champagne and toasted himself.

He praised his policies on China with whom he started an unwinnable trade war. He praised himself on how he dealt with Iran which was to remove the U.S out of a treaty preventing that nation from obtaining a nuclear weapon…thus pushing them closer to having nuclear weapons. He praised himself for how he treated immigrants by ripping families apart, throwing children into jails, and losing track of their parents. He praised himself for winning an election he did not win. At some point, he realized he was at a wedding and he got around to praising the couple.

Trump railed, “Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran – how’re we doing with Iran, how do you like that?”

Donald Trump was in a tuxedo which now has penguins searching for a new look. But he continued ranting. He said, “Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they would have done anything, they would have done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ and Iran replies, ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ Oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us.”

At some point, I think he forgot that he was giving a toast at a wedding or even speaking in front of other people as it seemed he was talking to himself. But he continued.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right?”

Quick. Someone get the cake. Distract him with cake. What? He’s not done? Oh, god.

“You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim – he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me.” Was there even a Jim at the wedding or did he just glue little googly eyes on his hand again and pretend it’s talking to him?

Finally…he got around to mentioning the bride and….NOPE. “What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shots, and they call ’em shots, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster.”

Mr. President (sic), would you like to say a few words? No, I’d like to say a lot of words.

He continued. “It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

It continued. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?'” No. We don’t miss you and we’re not going to. But then again, we did say the same thing about George W. Bush and…no, nope, no no no…we’re never going to miss your stupid rancid Cheeto-covered ass, you orange shitgibbon from Oompa-Loopma Land.

After warming up, he got started and went into the election he lost and said, “We did get 75 million votes. Nobody’s ever gotten that,” Trump said. “They said, ‘Get 66m votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said … but you know, you saw what happened, 10.30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?'”

Next time someone pushes the Russian talking points and claims President Joe Biden has dementia (Ted Rall), force them to watch the Trump toast.

Finally…he was done and wrapped it up with a nod to himself and the happy couple, whatever their names are. “Now, a lot of things happening right now. I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple … have fun.”

Throughout all this, the band was waiting for him to wrap it up so they can play that song from Dirty Dancing. If you’ve had the time of your life with Donald Trump, then you might be a racist.

So, he’s asked to give a toast, he spends the entirety of it on himself in what would seem like a drunken rant if he drank, and at the end, he can’t even mention the couple’s names. Was his daughter Tiffany the bride?

Donald Trump shouldn’t be enjoying freedom and giving wedding toasts. This man attempted to steal an election. He told officials in Georgia to “find votes” so they could overturn the presidential election in that state. There is no telling what he said to other state officials who visited the White House or where phone calls weren’t recorded. After committing election fraud, he sent terrorists to the United States Capitol to overturn the election in a violent coup attempt. He sent MAGA goons and other assorted white supremacists to stop Congress from doing its Constitutional duty. He succeeded for a few hours.

The only place Donald Trump should be toasting weddings is in prison. He shouldn’t be toasting and giving rants at Mar-a-Lago. He shouldn’t be calling in to Fox News to continue spreading debunked conspiracy theories. He shouldn’t be free to enable more white nationalist terrorists. He shouldn’t be at some gold-plated desk working on his bullshit memoirs. He shouldn’t be working on deals to create a new social media network for Nazis. He shouldn’t be on the golf course continuing to bilk taxpayers for Secret Service protection. He should be in prison.

Georgia is investigating Donald Trump’s election interference. The District of Columbia may start an investigation into his rallying terrorists to attack the United States government. The Justice Department should be opening a LOT of investigations into Donald Trump’s illegal activity throughout his time occupying the White House.

And maybe afterward, Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz can share a toilet of wine together. Donald Trump shouldn’t be giving a toast. He should be toast.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trained To Do


Cjones04012021

For nearly a year, conservatives have been telling us what a thug and horrible person George Floyd was. They’ve been working hard to paint him as a dangerous element to society in order not just to defend the cop who killed him, but also the culture that killed him. Racist conservatives have been telling us George Floyd deserved to die.

Conservatives forget that the charge was for trying to buy cigarettes with a counterfeit bill. They ignore whether or not he resisted. For conservatives, the charge is that George Floyd was black. For conservatives, that’s a crime deserving of a death sentence without a trial.

Minneapolis Police Officer Derek Chauvin pushed his knee into George Floyd’s neck. The only things on both sides of his neck for over nine minutes was a cop’s knee and the concrete of a Minneapolis street. Why was there so much police brutality in this case? Because a black man supposedly tried to use a counterfeit $20 bill. I say “supposedly” because George Floyd has never been found guilty. George Floyd didn’t live to have a trial. Despite efforts by Republicans and assorted racists, George Floyd is NOT on trial here.

It doesn’t matter if George Floyd tried to cash a fake twenty. It doesn’t matter if he tried to cash a boatload of fake twenties. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was a $50 or a $100. It doesn’t matter what Floyd did in the past or whether he was a bad guy or an angel. None of these is a factor in the trial of white cop Derek Chauvin. Was Floyd a threat to the police or anyone else? No. Was he subdued? Yes. So, why is he dead?

Chauvin’s defense attorney, Eric Nelson, told the jury yesterday to ignore the video of Chauvin’s knee on Floyd’s neck. He’s telling them to ignore a nine-minute-plus video. He’s telling them to ignore what they’re seeing. He’s arguing that George Floyd died from drugs in his system and it’s just a coincidence he died while a white cop’s knee was on his neck for over nine minutes. That’s about as believable it’s a coincidence a Capitol Police officer died shortly after being sprayed in the face with bear spray by MAGA terrorists.

An autopsy found traces of fentanyl and methamphetamine in George Floyd’s system, but that he died from asphyxia…while saying “I can’t breathe” and crying out for his mother while a cop’s knee was on his neck for nine minutes and 29 seconds. What’s one way to die from asphyxia? Having a cop’s knee on a neck for over nine minutes.

Nelson also said the crowd was partly to blame because they distracted Officer Chauvin’s attention away from his knee that was on George Floyd’s neck for over nine minutes. Perhaps day two of the trial will reveal there was a squirrel.

The most damning defense strategy from Nelson was when he said, “Derek Chauvin did exactly what he had been trained to do over the course of his 19-year career.” That is not a defense.

Cops are not supposed to murder, even if they’re trained to do so. Cops are supposed to protect and serve and do it equally. There should be one justice system in this country, not two. This reveals it’s not just Chauvin on trial…it’s all of police culture. If we’re training cops to murder then the entire system that treats Americans unequally needs to be on trial. That entire system needs to be prosecuted and sent away.

Chauvin is charged with second-degree murder, third-degree murder, and second-degree manslaughter. His lawyer is arguing he was trained to murder. He’s arguing all cops are trained to murder.

We don’t need to just remove “bad apples” like Derek Chauvin from our nation’s police forces. We need to remove the system that trained Chauvin and other cops to murder. Because as Chauvin’s attorney argued, killing unarmed black people is exactly what police are trained to do.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

No Reasonable Voting Laws


CNN03282021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Racism is never reasonable.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trumpity Diggity


Cjones03312021

I have excellent timing. Minutes after finishing up this cartoon and while creating different file types of it for my clients, The New York Times sent me a notification that the ship blocking the Suez Canal for the past five days has finally been freed (I made that sound like I’m really important because the NYT sent me a notification, but it’s an app on my phone).

In case you’re a Republican, the Suez Canal is in Egypt. It’s a vital artery for the world’s shipping and economy. Think of it like a short cut between the Atlantic Ocean, after going through the Mediterranean Sea, to the Indian Ocean. It beats having to go around Africa. In case you’re a Republican, Africa is a continent, not a country.

While salvage crews were digging and tug boats were tugging, it was the moon that came through with the final push. The tides from the full moon are what finally got the ship free. In case you’re a Republican, the moon is that big white thing you see in the sky at night that is NOT made from cheese. And yes, we did actually land on it from where we could see the Earth is NOT flat. We’re learning so much today.

Also, the ship was freed Monday afternoon Egypt time even though it’s still morning in the United States. In case you’re a Republican, the sun doesn’t rise at the same time everywhere on the planet. It rises in Egypt several hours before it rises on the east coast of the U.S. That’s why there are different time zones.

Somehow, the crews and the moon were able to dislodge the ship without any advice from Donald Trump. Surely, if the guy still had his Twitter account, he would have been a big help.

One of the worst things about Donald Trump as president (sic) is now one of the best things about him. He’s a buffoon. As a private citizen, we can chuckle, laugh, maybe throw peanuts at him, and just have a good time creating Facebook memes. As president (sic), his buffoonery was horrifying. Have you tried nuking a hurricane?

Of course, Donald Trump knew more about everything than anyone. He was great at understanding the coronavirus because his uncle went to MIT, which Trump thinks is “MIT University.”

Donald Trump has a big brain for understanding stuff and he displayed it when he repeated “Person, woman, man, camera, TV” multiple times in a row with only a little difficulty, and told us the people who gave him the test said, “Rarely has someone ever done what you just did.” And he used that big brain to help the world, which probably makes him a superhero of some sort.

When Notre Dame (not the university in Indiana) was on fire in Paris, he suggested using water to put the fire out. More specifically, he advised using water tanks to water bomb the cathedral from airplanes. In case you’re a Republican, water is heavy. Try lifting an aquarium. Water bombing the cathedral would have made the entire thing collapse and the Fighting Irish would never be able to win another football national championship.

After two Boeing jets crashed, Trump advised they conduct a rebranding campaign. Boeing: Did we mention our seats are also flotation devices?

Donald Trump said the best way to get rid of wildfires was to rake the forests. Seriously. He said there are too many leaves. He also said science doesn’t know anything about climate change, but he does.

He had a lot of great advice about the coronavirus. He told us not to live in fear of the virus killing people. He advised we use unproven malaria drugs that doctors advised against. He pondered publicly if people should drink bleach and shine flashlights up their bum holes.

It was too bad he didn’t have his twitter account to advise how to unclog the Suez. He could have told us he knows more about boats than anyone because he’s been on a boat. In fact, he’s owned a boat. He would have told us he’s qualified to tell us about boats because one of his German ancestors arrived to this country on a boat. He would have said, “People are always asking me, ‘How do you understand so much about boats?'”. He could have tweeted, “Have you tried pushing the boat?” Or, “Maybe you could move the boat by drawing on it with a Sharpie.” Or, “Have you tried bombing the boat from invisible airplanes?” He knows about airplanes too. He owns a couple with his largest, the one he’s so proud of, currently rusting on a New York tarmac.

I wonder how Trump is doing without his Twitter. I imagine it’s like an addict without crack. Fortunately, he still has Fox News and weddings to air his thoughts from.

He went on Fox News last week and said there was no threat from the white supremacist terrorists who attacked the Capitol while trying to overturn an election. He said the terrorists were “hugging and kissing” the Capitol Police officers. I’m not sure if biting someone’s fingers off can be classified as a “kiss,” or if crushing cops against doors can be considered “hugging.” What the hell does he consider using bear spray to kill a cop? Oh, hey. Have they tried using bear spray to get the ship out?

Then Trump went to a wedding at his golf resort, where he’s been hiding himself since President Joe Biden defeated him in the election. I’m sure the happy couple were excited Trump came to their wedding and made a toast. After all, they did book it at a Trump resort which would be the equivalent of being married at Chucky Cheese if the giant rat was a lying racist.

Trump took the mic and toasted the happy couple…after ranting about President Joe Biden, the border crisis, Iran, China, and the election that was “stolen from him.” It was kinda like that scene in the Wedding Singer where drunk Steve Buscemi gives a toast. ““I’ve always been the screwed-up one, right, dad? ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother? Harold would never beat up his landlord!” Or even worse, a toast by your cousin from Boston who says the bride is a total smoke show. Both would still be better than Trump. The giant rat would have been better than Trump.

Now, the economy should improve because the ship has been unclogged from the canal. Also, the economy will improve now that our nation has unclogged itself from Donald Trump. Donald Trump is like a huge bowel movement. But don’t ask me.

Ask Donald Trump, who I’m sure knows more about bowel movements than anybody. He’s had bowel movements on boats, planes, skyscrapers, golf resorts, the White House, and has even pooped in Singapore where they said, “Rarely has anyone done what you just did.”

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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