Cartoons

He-Man Women Hater


cjones10072018

It’s not a mystery why Donald Trump hates women. It’s because he’s afraid of them. He’s especially intimidated if they’re stronger and smarter than he is which describes every liberal woman. The only mystery with Trump and women is why so many still support him, and why they ever did in the first place.

Trump likes to float the lie that he won the women vote. He only won the white women vote, which may mean he believes only white women matter.

It’s not surprising when Trump insults women. He also insults the handicapped, brown people, black people, gay people, veterans, journalists, dogs, etc. He’s just an all-around hateful, vile, disgusting pig of a human being. But, he really relishes insulting women. He does it to the point that at times he may not even be aware he’s doing it.

Women who know Trump don’t want anything to do with him. According to reports, Karen Pence, the Second Lady, and Mike Pence’s wife and mother, refused to shake his hand on election night, and wouldn’t even let Mike kiss her (nobody should be kissing someone they call “Mother” anyway). His daughter, Ivanka, jokes about his botched hair transplant, and his own wife insists on sleeping in a separate bedroom, preferably in another state if she can work it out. At this moment, she’s in another bedroom on a different continent.

Trump has insulted Ruth Bader Ginsburg (only weights 60 pounds), Sonya Sotomayor (ha-ha diabetes), Hillary Clinton (crooked), Carly Fiorina (ugly face), Elizabeth Warren (Pocahontas), Heidi Cruz (ugly face again), Mika Brzezinski (ugly bleeding face), Rosie O’Donnell (fat, ugly face), Megyn Kelly (blood coming out of her “wherever”), Katy Tur (third-rate journalist), Maureen Dowd (wacky columnist), Katarina Witt (built like a linebacker), Angelina Jolie (not beautiful), Cher (wears a rug and had plastic surgeries), Arianna Huffington (understands why her husband left her for a man), Heidi Klum (sadly no longer a 10), and Alicia Machado (Miss Piggy).

On Monday, during a press conference for replacing NAFTA with NotNAFTA, Trump continued to insult women. As ABC’s Cecilia Vega was about to ask Trump a question about Kavanaugh, Trump said, “You’re not thinking. You never do.”

At a rally in Mississippi on Tuesday night, Trump lit into Christine Blasey Ford, who he previously said was credible. He mocked Blasey Ford and even lied about what she couldn’t remember from when she claims Trump’s SCOTUS nominee attacked her. Trump has previously questioned why women who accuse men of assault wait so long to report it. Maybe, because the most powerful man in the world will take to a stage before a bunch of Mississippi hillbillies and start mocking them. The worst part, the Trump rally crowd was laughing and eating it up.

Earlier in the day, Trump said, it is a “very scary time for young men in America when you can be guilty of something that you may not be guilty of.” No. He wasn’t talking about the dangers young black men face from police brutality. He was talking about men facing the risks of being falsely accused by women. Of course, Trump has never expressed concern for women who are sexually assaulted. That’s because Trump is a sexual assaulter. He is the man who boasted that he’s “grabbed them by the pussy,” and moved on a married woman “like a bitch” while his wife was at home with his newborn son.

You would think the Republicans weren’t concerned about the women vote this November. This year, a record number of women are running for office, with 185 party nominees for House seats. Yet, The Republicans are trying to ram through a SCOTUS nominee who has been credibly accused of assault on women, and they send a president out to rallies to mock survivors of sexual assault. There are two more Trump rallies this week.

Hopefully, the “Blue Wave” moves on Trump “like a bitch” and makes this a very scary time in America for Republicans.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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I Like Beer


cjones10062018

Did you know Brett Kavanaugh likes beer?

You would be forgiven if you didn’t catch Kavanaugh’s like for beer during last Thursday’s confirmation hearing before the Senate Judicial Committee because he only said “I like beer” about 87 times.

Kavanaugh likes beer. He doesn’t like being questioned about liking beer, but when it does happen, he’ll answer, “I like beer.” He’ll also answer with “What do you like to drink?” and when asked if he’s ever blacked out from drinking, he may answer with, “Have you ever blacked out from drinking?” He even refused to answer “How many beers are too many?” He answered that too many were “Whatever the blood-alcohol chart says,” never mind that there is not a blood alcohol chart. I’m kinda shocked he didn’t say, “When the bartender cuts you off,” or “When the cops arrive to stop the bar fight.”

He screamed answers. He cried answers. He belittled United States senators. He deflected and dodged answers. He gave lies as answers. He changed publicly known definitions for some answers. He even changed the term for a disgusting sex act into a term for drinking beer. He likes beer.

Keep in mind; this was during a job interview. I think if there has to be another hearing for him to explain further sexual assault allegations, a 1985 New York City bar fight, and his inconsistent answers and lies from previous sessions before the Senate; they may want to make him take a breathalyzer test.

It’s understandable that Kavanaugh would be defensive about his beer drinking since many of the accusations against him claim he was excessively drunk when they happened. Kavanaugh says he may have drunk “too many” in the past, but he never blacked out, got smashed, totally tossed, obliterated, sloshed, sizzled, plastered, blotto, or schnockered. He claims he never passed out from drinking, and that he just went to sleep afterward. Maybe they should have asked if after sleeping from drinking, if he’s ever woken up in a ditch, with his face in a public urinal, or with the word “balls” written across his forehead.

Brett Kavanaugh likes beer. Just be careful when you ask him about it.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Two Tickets To Paradise


crsta09212018

This cartoon was first published in The Costa Rica Star, September 21, 2018.

The United States State Department was warning citizens in and planning to visit Costa Rica of the strike, warning that it was causing delays in traffic and at airports, and that there were even accounts of violence.

Expats in Costa Rica initially said the strike wasn’t a concern to them at all, and they weren’t even seeing that much from it. By last week, many were changing their tone and complaining about strikers. My editor told me it was definitely hurting tourism and travel. Now, the courts have ruled the strike as illegal.

There’s a new cartoon up this week. Go check it out. It’ll be posted here next Sunday.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Boofing


cjones10042018

Yesterday, I made a huge mistake. I referred to “boofing” as a sex term. Maybe it is and was for Brett Kavanaugh when he was a young man groping women in high school and college, but there’s a much more commonly accepted definition. We’ll get to that.

I don’t know what kind of parent you are, but if your child asks you, “what’s boofing?” you’re probably going to make something up. Maybe you won’t say it’s for flatulence, as Kavanaugh claimed, but maybe something even milder, like…Hell, I don’t know. What else could it mean?

When you intentionally give your child an incorrect answer to protect them, you’re assuming their mind isn’t developed enough to know Mom and Dad is full of it. When you answer this way to another adult, you’re assuming they’re stupid and if they know you’re lying, that they expect you to be stupid enough to believe it.

You probably wouldn’t do this with another adult, less enough a United States Senator. You would think the last person who would try to make that work would be a federal judge.

Brett Kavanaugh is hoping we’re stupid and that we think the same of him while we give him a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. It will be the first time the drunk choir boy defense won over an entire political party. This is what happens when a stupid person nominates another stupid person.

It’s bad enough that Kavanaugh channeled 4chan to defend himself by blaming people bitter over Donald Trump’s stolen election and Hillary Clinton supporters. It’s totally shucking responsibility by blaming the staff of the high school yearbook for all the dumb things about you, like the clubs you’re in.

But, you can’t expect a United States Senator to swallow obviously stupid and lying answers unless that Senator is a Republican, particularly Lindsey Graham.

No one in their right mind will believe “Devil’s Triangle” is a drinking game and not a sex term for two guys and one girl. It’s called “Devil’s Triangle” because of the danger it poses to heterosexual homophobic males that their penises might accidentally touch each other. Truly, the work of Satan. I only know this because I read and I’ve had conversations in bars. The name does not have any connotation to any danger posed to the female. I’m going to guess a guy came up with it.

The “Renate Alumni” is not the name of a group of guys who respect a girl named “Renate.” It’s used to describe Kavanaugh and each of his friends, including Mark Judge, who claimed they had slept with the same girl, who is named “Renate.”  There are 14 references to the woman, now named Renate Dolphin, in the Georgetown Prep yearbook from 1983. One of the “alumni” members even wrote the line, “You need a date / and it’s getting late / so don’t hesitate / to call Renate.” Respectful sounding, indeed.

This brings us back to boofing. In the same yearbook, “Beach Week Ralph Club-Biggest Contributor,” is applied to Kavanaugh. He claims he earned the distinction, not from vomiting from excessive drinking, but from his queasy stomach and spicy food. Sure, Delaware is known for tamales. Kavanaugh wrote in the yearbook to Mark Judge, the witness named by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, “Judge—Have You Boofed Yet?” Kavanaugh told a Senator that it’s a reference to flatulence. Apparently, Judge didn’t just have a drinking problem, but he was extremely gassy. You’d think Mark Judge would testify against him just for that. I’d kick my best friend’s ass if he defended himself by telling the entire nation I was a farter.

So, the line, “have you boofed yet?” is supposed to be about farting” who would ask that? Or, is it about vomiting? Or, is it about sex? No. It’s worse. Much, much worse.

Kavanaugh admitted he liked beer and that there have been times when he had too much. He even deflected a couple of times by asking Senator Amy Klobuchar if she’s ever blacked out from drinking (that’s the same kind of respect he gave Renate), and Senator Sheldon Whitehouse if he likes beer, and he wanted to know “what he likes to drink.” That’s why you were there, Brett. To take drink orders from senators. Usually, people this defensive about drinking still have a drinking problem.

As he freely admits, Kavanaugh likes beer. After looking up the definition in Urban Dictionary, (don’t click that link) Oh my God, he really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally likes beer. My dad was a massive beer drinker and alcoholic to the day he died. He started and ended each day with a beer and went through a case daily, and I know he didn’t like beer this much. I have never heard of or thought of such a thing. Who would?

In case you didn’t click the link, I’ll put it this way; he likes beer to the point that he feels the need to administer it the way people administer hemorrhoids cream. Sounds like a good time, right?

Thankfully, Senator Jeff Flake was pressured to flake on Kavanaugh and demand an investigation into the charges against the alcoholic nominee of sexual harassment. The FBI, ordered by Trump, now has a week to look in on it. There were reports that they were attempting to interview people as early as late last night in California.

Hopefully, the information the FBI reports back keeps Kavanaugh off the Supreme Court and the Republicans in the United States Senate from giving us all a good boofing.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Nom Nom Make Boom Boom


cjones10032018

Supreme Court, accused sex offender, and chronic liar Brett Kavanaugh described yesterday’s hearing as a circus, which was an insult to circuses. Somewhere, there’s a pissed off clown. Bozo said, “Don’t drag me into this shit. Honk! Honk!”

Naturally, the hearing hasn’t changed many minds over who you believe. But, the one thing it did demonstrate is that even if he’s not a man who has had problems with alcohol and assaulting women, Brett Kavanaugh does not have the temperament, mind, independence, coherence, or personality to sit on the Supreme Court.

Kavanaugh, who is already a judge, dodged, ignored, and quibbled through questions while using the drunk choir boy defense. Sometimes, he threw questions back at Senators, such as after being asked if he ever drank to the point of blacking out.

He treated the Senators and public as though they’re stupid. When asked about writings on his calendar and yearbook, he gave definitions that were outright lies that only an idiot or a Republican could believe.

He explained that “boofing” was a reference for flatulence and not sex. He said the Renate Alumni wasn’t a club for guys who claimed they had “boofed” a girl named Renate, but a gang who held her in high respect. Being in the “Ralph club” wasn’t about vomiting from a lot of alcohol, but from a queasy stomach from spicy food. He explained that the “Devil’s Triangle” is not a sex reference with three people, as most people and the Urban Dictionary believes, but a drinking game with quarters. In fact, within minutes, someone from inside the capitol building changed the definition of “Devil’s Triangle” on Wikipedia, which can also explain Kavanaugh’s calendar from 1982.

I was a teenager in 1982 and I am not familiar with any of the definitions he gave. To be fair, I’m not an idiot or a Republican. As Rachel Maddow said (pert near) a few weeks ago, Republicans in charge of the government is a great example of why we don’t let dogs drive cars.

When pressed to call for an FBI investigation, Kavanaugh wouldn’t even answer and kept saying how much he wanted an immediate hearing, despite that these procedures are controlled by Republicans.

When asked by Senator Dick Durbin about his friend Mark Judge, and who Christine Blasey Ford says is a witness, and if the description of a character in his book, “Wasted Tales of a Teenage Drunk,” was him, Kavanaugh said Durbin would have to ask Judge. His answer highlighted the absurdity of the hearing as Durbin can’t ask Judge. The GOP won’t allow witnesses and Judge is currently hiding in a beach house in Delaware. How bad is it that he had to escape to Delaware? Is that why it took forever to find Wesley Snipes? Saddam and Bin Laden should have considered the state for a hiding space.

Dr. Blasey Ford was asked who paid for her polygraph test, which she has passed and Kavanaugh refuses to take (her lawyers paid for it) as if she created this entire story and ordeal to get a free polygraph test out of it. Maybe, someone should ask who’s paying for Mark Judge’s Delaware vacation.

Mark Judge had a letter delivered to the Senate denying any memory of the event (which isn’t a denial). The affidavit  is against the threat of perjury. I’m guessing risking perjury isn’t as great of a risk of being charged with sexual assault charges, where Maryland, the state where Blasey Ford says the assault took place, does not have a statute of limitations.

Blasey Ford was asked questions by a professional prosecutor who is a female. Orrin Hatch demonstrated the wise choice for the all-white Republican male membership on the committee not to ask the questions when describing her testimony; he stated that Blasey Ford is attractive. Shortly after the prosecutor started asking Kavanaugh questions, the GOP fired her on the spot and started asking questions themselves…or more or less, giving rhetorical speeches laced with fake outrage and condescension in defense of the nominee.

Kavanaugh was combative. He was a crier. He cried when he described how his father saved calendars. He claimed the accusations came from people trying to get revenge for the Clintons and upset over Donald Trump’s election victory. This shows he’s too partisan and conspiracy-minded for the court, even if he isn’t gropy.

Hillary Clinton testified before the Senate in 2016 for eleven hours and never cried or shouted once. If she had, she would have been described as “shrill,” “hysterical,” and lacking the temperament and disposition for the presidency. If Blasey Ford had acted that way, instead of slightly nervous, very descriptive, believable, credible, and intelligent, they would have used the same descriptions for her. I actually heard a few conservatives complain about the sound of her voice. Fox News fired contributor Kevin Jackson yesterday after he tweeted that Blasey Ford is a “lying skank.”

Lindsey Graham matched Kavanaugh’s histrionics yesterday and scolded the Democrats for bringing the accusation forward, which was actually made before Kavanaugh was nominated. Graham also promised to match the tactics he’s accusing the Democrats of, which is to bring false charges against their nominees in the future. Lindsey Graham chucked his principles with his old phone number that Trump gave out publicly.

Lindsey Graham does not belong on the Judiciary Committee or even in the United States Senate, just like Brett Kavanaugh doesn’t belong on the Supreme Court. The American Bar Association has rescinded their endorsement of him and is calling for an FBI investigation, which the Republicans will ignore and cram through a vote on the nominee.

Republican Senator John Kennedy asked Kavanaugh if he can swear to God that the accusations aren’t true, and he did.

Brett Kavanaugh can swear to God, but he can’t swear to the FBI. That’s because the FBI exists.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Hiding Behind A Skirt


cjones10022018

During yesterday’s 80-minutes long rambling word salad of a press conference that may have actually been a public service announcement on the effects of mixing Rogaine with Diet Coke, Trump hinted that he’s open to ditching his Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh.

In fact, there may be several Republicans kinda hoping today’s hearing with Kavanaugh and his first accuser, Christine Blasey Ford, is convincing enough to let him go without much political damage from their base, who is adamant about his confirmation. With more women making accusations against the nominee for sexual harassment, and even being involved in something called a “train rape,” his baggage has gotten so heavy that winning his confirmation may not be much of a win in the culture war at this point.

But, under the leadership of Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, the party as a whole is still trying to seat him on the court. Many don’t fear a legacy of putting Justice Rape Train on the nation’s highest court with a lifetime appointment. That’s not what they fear. What they do fear is coming off as insensitive to the very credible Blasey Ford in today’s hearing.

They’re right to be afraid. With several senators promising to confirm Kavanaugh, they’ve made it clear that it doesn’t matter what Ms. Ford says, or how poorly Kavanaugh comes off. Other senators have questioned why women wait so long to report, and others asking why they would even go to a party where they would be sexually assaulted, in addition to the president saying this is just a sham with fake accusers. McConnell gave a speech where he repeated the word “smear” several times. I was waiting for him to eventually create a new term in “smeary smears.”

Not wanting a reenactment of the late Senator Howell Heflin’s question to Anita Hill in 1991 of, “Are you a scorned woman?” The Republicans don’t plan to ask Ms. Ford any questions at all. For this, they’re bringing in a woman to question Ms. Ford. And, they’ve even messed that up with McConnell referring to her as a “female assistant,” and Joe Kennedy forgetting her name.

Her name is Rachel Mitchell, and this “assistant” has nearly 30 years experience working in the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office in Arizona. The Republicans will be present and you’ll find them hiding behind her skirt.

The Judiciary Committee has been around for 202 years and the Republican Party has never had a woman serve on it. The Democrats currently have four, and two of them aren’t white.

Ms. Ford’s attorney sent a letter to Chuck Grassley, the committee chairman stating, “The central point is that there is no precedent for this Committee to bring in outside counsel for the sole purpose of shielding the members of the Committee from performing their responsibility to question witnesses.” He’s right. The all-white Republican men on the committee will not be doing the jobs they were elected to do tomorrow.

If the Republican men on the committee need an inspiration for courage, they can look across the aisle at their colleagues on the same committee, Dianne Feinstein, Amy Klobuchar, Mazie Hirono, and Kamala Harris.

Maybe then they can “man up.”

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Cosby Goes Kavanaugh


cjones10012018

There’s a huge chunk of the 1980s where I didn’t watch any television. I was young, working, going out with my friends, and causing my fair share of mayhem. I never watched Miami Vice, Hill Street Blues, the A-Team, or even Alf. That meant I was way behind on The Cosby Show and didn’t catch up until the 90s when I was married and not causing any trouble.

But, Bill Cosby was America’s dad. Now, he’s America’s sex offender in an American prison for the next three to ten years. He’s going to be someone’s “puddin’ pop.”

Cosby’s spokesperson, Andrew Wyatt, who should seriously consider getting a job with Trump administration, said after the sentencing that Cosby and Brett Kavanaugh are victims of a “sex war.”

He also praised Cosby for being a civil rights leader, educator of men and boys (this is how you roofie), and said he was being persecuted like Jesus.

See? I told you that guy should get a job with Trump administration. He could replace Sarah Huckabee Sanders, or even Nikki Haley, who this morning said that the world leaders at the United Nations weren’t laughing at Trump…they were laughing out of respect for how “truthful” he was.

And, he could become Kavanaugh’s defender and explain that he wasn’t a virgin right up through college just because all the women fought back. Or, he could bring up Kavanaugh’s calendar and point out all the nights “not raping” was inked, not penciled, in on his agenda.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.