Capitol

No More Like That Guy


Cjones08222021

Over at Fox News, the morons are at it again and they’re having a difficult time concealing their xenophobia.

Of course, it all starts with Tucker. Tucker Carlson claims if we let in Afghan refugees, it will be an invasion. Keep in mind, these refugees are being hunted down by the Taliban for working with America against terrorists. Their lives are in danger because they fought in the war on terror. Tucker and other Republicans believe these people are dangerous and not the likes of the Trump terrorists who stormed into the United States Capitol complex to overturn an election.

These people defend and cover up for real terrorists while fear mongering over hypothetical ones.

Tucker said, “If history is any guide, and it’s always a guide, we will see many refugees from Afghanistan resettle in our country in coming months, probably in your neighbourhood.” That’d probably be a good thing and much more preferable than having the Qanon Shaman move in next door…or Tucker.

Tucker believes in the Great Replacement Theory that Democrats are changing the demographics of the country through immigration to replace white people like Tucker. He believes this is part of that strategy. He also claimed that after immigrants arrive here, they start hating America. He says Representative Ilhan Omar “got worse” after she arrived to America and started hating this country. Dude, she got here when she was about 12 years old. Just because your maturity hasn’t advanced beyond that age, don’t believe others are as simplistic as you are. Trust me on this, we all get worse after 12.

Former White House goon, Stephen Miller, is now gooning on Fox News…which is something he did while we were paying him to goon for the government. Earlier this week, he brought his racism, xenophobia, and all-around ickiness to Laura Ingraham, who has spent years training to suppress her gag reflex to be around creepers like Miller.

Stephen Miller said, “The United States of America never, ever made a promise—written or unwritten—to the people of Afghanistan that if after 20 years they were unable to secure their own country that we would take them to ours.” Mostly, Miller is afraid that after they get here, they’ll laugh at spray-on hair.

Afghanistan veteran and former CIA analyst, Matt Zeller, said, “Stephen Miller never wore a uniform a day in his life. He’s a privileged little brat! He ought to be held for war crimes.”

Zeller put a lot of blame on Trump for the refugee crisis saying, “The reason all these people are stuck in Afghanistan right now is because the visa program created to get them here, it was purposely shut down by the Trump administration for the last four years.”

He also said, “The Trump administration came in and purposely destroyed it. The reason why all of these Afghans were stuck in Afghanistan for as long as they were in the first place is because those people made sure they couldn’t get out. As I said before, they’re as complicit as the Taliban are in these people’s deaths.”

I’m not worried about refugees who fought against the Taliban being a threat to our nation. I’m more worried about the MAGA goon who parked his truck on the sidewalk in front of the Library of Congress yesterday claiming he had a bomb.

The Capitol Police, a police force gaining experience with terrorism on a daily basis, negotiated with the man for hours before he surrendered. He didn’t have a bomb in his truck, but he did have bomb making material, including a propane tank.

The guy is a wannabe terrorist who is a Trump supporter. He livestreamed on Facebook that he wants President Biden and Democrats to resign. He’s really stressed out about the situation in Afghanistan. Maybe he’s afraid some Afghan refugee will become a terrorist and drive his pickup truck onto the sidewalk in front of the Library of Congress and make bomb threats.

The worst people we could bring to this nation would be people like Trump supporters. We don’t need more people like the pickup truck Trump terrorist (say that fast three times), Tucker Carlson, or Stephen Miller. I would rather replace each of them with an Afghan refugee who fought against terrorism.

Maybe we can make MAGAts refugees and export them to Afghanistan. We can do a swap. We get the Afghans who fought against the Taliban, and they get the MAGAts who staged a terrorist attack against the United States.

Trumpers and the Taliban have a lot in common.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Minimum Protest


CNN02282021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

MAGAt Mob


cjones01092021

Let the record state, I told you so.

In 2015, I told you a selfish, narcissistic, racist reality TV show host with the intellectual and reading level of a toddler would make a bad president. I told you this conman was too stupid to grasp the severity and seriousness of the job. I told you Donald Trump would put himself first and if it came down to it, would choose himself before this country. I told you Donald Trump would be the worst president in our nation’s history. I’m not alone. A lot of Americans are with me, and not just liberals. We told you so.

Over the past four years, we’ve seen him grift the nation. We’ve seen him take Putin’s side over that of America. And yesterday, we watched him incite a riot. What we saw yesterday was not a protest. It was a riot. It was a terrorist attack. Once again, Donald Trump proved he’s a threat to national security.

MAGAts are funny. The ones who weren’t there blame Antifa while defending the rioters. I’ve seen them make posts that the guy with the Braveheart face paint with horns on his head has been identified as a member of Antifa. In reality, he’s Jake Angeli from Arizona who is a Trump supporter and a member of Qanon. While blaming the riot on Antifa, which doesn’t exist, they’re also defending the rioters. I’ve seen the same people claiming it was Antifa state the rioters were defending democracy, weren’t violent, and are heroes.

These “nonviolent protesters” left four people dead in their wake. They interrupted Congress during a Constitutionally mandated action, the counting of the electoral college. They believe people shouldn’t protest for civil rights but when they don’t get what they want, they can burn the Congress down. That’s MAGA.

These people, this mob, these terrorists, walked from a Trump rally to Capitol Hill where they proceeded to riot, break in, smash windows, vandalize, and tear the place apart. Donald Trump told them “we” are going to march to the capitol building right before he jumped into a limo and went back to the White House, which has so much security now, you can barely see the White House.

So using these MAGAts’ logic, Donald Trump was addressing an Antifa rally. He wasn’t. He was talking to his MAGA base who are now comprised of terrorists and enemies of the United States of America. These MAGAts are equivalent of al Qaida and ISIS. They lost an election so yesterday, they attempted a coup. They engaged in sedition. And Donald Trump told them to do it.

Donald Trump is such a threat to the United States, Twitter blocked his account for 12 hours to prevent him from inciting further violence. Facebook followed suit. They need to make it permanent.

Now, the Trump cabinet needs to be as responsible as Twitter. A man who can’t be trusted with a social media account can’t be trusted with the nuclear codes. We can’t afford to let him have 14 more days.

Donald Trump started his presidency by declaring, “This American carnage stops right here and right now.” He said this delivering his inauguration speech on the steps of the capitol building…the same building where his presidency is ending with American carnage. How fitting. Donald Trump always projects so it’s natural that the guy who said “only he can fix” burns the place down. Who could have predicted this would happen? Along with a lot of other liberals, I did.

I told you so.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Capitol Freaking Beaches


cjones07262020

Congress is full of bitches. Bitches like Rand Paul, Matt Gaetz, and Ted Yoho.

Congresswoman Liz Cheney, daughter of Dick, is being yelled at by a bunch of dicks. Liz had the gall to say something nice about Dr. Anthony Fauci, a man GOP talking points have labeled as the enemy. She’s also said things that require having a rational mind like we shouldn’t remove all our troops out of Germany.

Senator Rand Paul yelled that Liz is “leading the fight” to stop Trump from withdrawing U.S. troops from overseas conflicts. I didn’t realize we were in an overseas conflict with Germany other than they use science and we don’t. Matt Gaetz wants her removed from a conference chair. Donald Trump Jr, who is NOT a member of Congress thank God, said, “We don’t need another Mitt Romney.” We don’t need two Donald Trumps either but we got ’em.

Donald Trump Sr. tweeted, “Liz Cheney is only upset because I have been actively getting our great and beautiful Country out of the ridiculous and costly Endless Wars. I am also making our so-called allies pay tens of billions of dollars in delinquent military costs. They must, at least, treat us fairly!!!” Here’s the thing about our “so-called” allies paying tens of billions in delinquent military costs: Obama, not Trump, got them to agree to increase how much they contribute to NATO. Fact, fact, fuckity, fact, fact. I’m also surprised Trump didn’t say, “beautiful” endless wars.

Rand Paul, who took a test for covid-19, then went to mingle with his colleagues while waiting for his POSITIVE result, went on to say about Liz Cheney, “I don’t think she’s good for the country.”

Remember this, kids, the next time Republicans accuse Democrats of not being open to different viewpoints within their party and how they all must conform to the same ideology. Here the Republican Party is chastising one of their own, who agrees with Donald Trump 99% of the time, for not being sycophantic enough. The Kool-Aid drinkers are on her because she doesn’t drink enough Kool-Aid.

Maybe part of their problem with Liz Cheney is that she’s a woman. I mean, do you remember Republicans chastising Dick Cheney like this when he was the vice-president, who by the way, got us into two of those “endless wars” which they all voted for and supported. Liz Cheney has spoken out against a move that placates Vladimir Putin. Who wants our troops out of Germany? Russia and Republicans. If Trump win reelection, expect a similar move on the Korean peninsula and quite possibly Japan.

Like I said, Republicans have issues with women who speak out and disagree with them. Take Ted Yoho as an example. Yoho, a congressman from Florida, confronted New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, on the Capitol steps and told her she was “disgusting” for suggesting that poverty was driving crime in New York City.

Poverty doesn’t just drive crime in New York City. Poverty drives crime everywhere. It’s true that rich people engage in criminal activity also like operating fake charities, fake universities, engage in tax evasion, refuse to pay contractors, pay off pornstars, engage in emoluments violations, concoct schemes to bribe a Russian president, ask other countries for bribes of awarding golf tournaments at their shitty resorts, and sexually assault women, but it is poverty along with systemic racism that contributes to crime. But, I’m sure Mr. Yoo-Hoo, being from Florida knows so much more about New York City than a woman representative from New York City.

As Mr. Yoo-Hoo was walking away from Ms. Ocasio-Cortez, he said, (you’re going to love this, kids) “FUCKING BITCH.”

What did this MALE congressman call a FEMALE colleague? A “FUCKING BITCH.” What was that? “FUCKING BITCH.” That’s “disgusting.”

Later, he offered a non-apology denying he said “FUCKING BITCH” and when he said “FUCKING BITCH,” he wasn’t talking about Ms. Ocasio-Cortez. Also, in his non-apology, he didn’t mention her name. The hero of this story rejected his apology because it was not an apology and tweeted, “But hey, ‘bitches’ get stuff done.”

on Tuesday, Ocasio-Cortez posted a clip on Instagram from the Doja Cat song (I’m writing about it like I know what that is) “Boss Bitch.” She wrote, “You know what we say when fragile men call us bitches because we stand up for ourselves and other human beings? Shine on, fight for others, and let the haters stay mad.”

The haters have been mad ever since Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez won her race for Congress. They have repeatedly attacked her and have lied about her positions. The thing is, Yoho is just the only one to be caught saying out loud what all the other male Republicans want to say.

The real irony here is male Republicans call women bitches after they all volunteered to be Trump bitches.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.