Border Wall

Putin Talking Points

cjones01092019

Did you know the reason the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan in 1979 was because of terrorism? Did you know the Soviet Union had the right to invade them? Did you know it led to the Soviet Union being called “Russia” today? Yeah, me neither.

First, a quick little history lesson.

Afghanistan was a puppet government of the Soviet Union. When an insurgency popped up, initially backed by Pakistan and Iran, the Soviet Union invaded to protect their puppet state. Their justification was the Brezhnev Doctrine, which was a policy they used to justify their “right” to intervene in the affairs of communist countries. This was a big deal during the Cold War and the Soviets had argued this policy when intervening in uprisings in Hungary and Czechoslovakia, retroactively. Russians are real big about revisionism, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Leonid Brezhnev was the head of the Soviet Union and he sent Soviet forces into his southern neighbor where they fought for ten years trying to protect communism. By the end of the war, the Soviets lost nearly 15,000 soldiers and their Afghan allies lost around 18,000. It’s estimated they had killed between 75,000 to 90,000 of the Mujahideen, the forces trying to restore Afghanistan back to an Islamist state.

Between 562,000 to two million civilians were killed with around three million wounded. There were about five million refugees and two million displaced.

The United States, along with the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, West Germany, Pakistan, and China, were aiding the Mujahideen (which included the likes of Osama bin Laden). Go rent Charlie Wilson’s War.

President Jimmy Carter’s administration opposed the Soviet invasion and even boycotted participating in the Moscow Olympics over it. President Ronald Reagan continued Carter’s policy of support against the Soviet Union. These were two presidents, Democratic and Republican who knew that the Russians were not our friend.

Earlier this week while engaging in an incoherent rant at a cabinet meeting, Donald Trump, the current president of the United States, said, “The reason Russia was in Afghanistan was because terrorists were going into Russia. They were right to be there. The problem is, it was a tough fight. And literally, they went bankrupt; they went into being called Russia again, as opposed to the Soviet Union. You know, a lot of these places you’re reading about now are no longer part of Russia because of Afghanistan.”

His rambling kinda reminded me of my college history professor, who was also insane. He once went on a rant about how great Montreal was until draft dodging American hippies went up there and pooped on the sidewalks. The subject we were on was not Vietnam or Canadian history. Fortunately, it wasn’t on the test.

I don’t know if my college professor was accurate at any part of his rant, or if he was off his meds like our president, but everything Donald Trump said was bullshit.

The war was not about terrorism, they did not have the right to be there, and Afghanistan is just one of many factors leading to the collapse of the Soviet Union. But where did Donald Trump get this idea about the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan? I was a kid and I remember all of this, so surely an old orange racist fart like Donald Trump would remember it. Right? Since there has never been any sort of revisionist campaign in this nation about the Soviet’s invasion, how could Trump come up with such a cockamamie description? Putin.

Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has much control over Trump, has initiated a propaganda campaign describing the war exactly as Donald Trump did. So, did Trump get this description from his master? Probably, but when? Did Putin feed it into his head during their private off-the-record chat in Helsinki? Probably.

Once again, Trump is doing Putin’s bidding. He’s advocating for Russian propaganda and even that nation’s pride. He’s arguing they had the right to invade their neighbor, undermining American policy and patriotism of Presidents Carter and Reagan.

The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, a friend to Trump’s policies and owned by Rupert Murdoch, called Trump’s history lesson “reprehensible.”

They wrote, “We cannot recall a more absurd misstatement of history by an American President.”

I can’t recall a more absurd human to occupy the office of the American presidency. I also can’t recall one more stupid, racist, traitorous, despicable, stupid, sexists, and appeasing to Russia.

Did I mention “stupid” more than once? I’m fine with that.

Trump is Putin’s puppet, and he appeases him again and again. He’s defended Russia’s attack on our democracy and now he’s advocating for Putin’s propaganda. I think Trump’s comments is further justification for his impeachment. I hope Mueller is taking notes.

Trump and Putin are trying to rewrite history. I assure you, history won’t be kind to them. Instead of rewriting history, I’d rather see Trump become history.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Crazy For Obama

cjones01052019

Continuing with his obsession with former president Barack Obama, Trump used the fence around his house to justify building a wall on our border with Mexico.

Trump tweeted, “President and Mrs. Obama built/has a ten foot Wall around their D.C. mansion/compound. I agree, totally necessary for their safety and security. The U.S. needs the same thing, slightly larger version!”

It’s almost like Trump has to remind us on a daily basis he’s a liar and an idiot.

There is not a ten-foot wall around the Obama’s home in Washington. There’s not even a wall. It’s a fence. Also, I don’t think their home is a compound and while it’s a large home, it’s probably not something most people would call a mansion unless they struck black gold in Tennessee.

But, why point at Obama’s house to argue for a wall on our border? Oh, yeah. That’s the idiotic part. I’ve also seen Trump sycophants make the same argument on social media, equating fenced yards with a wall on the border.

A yard is not fenced to keep people out. If someone wants in your yard bad enough, a fence isn’t going to stop them. Usually, it’s to keep your dog in. It’s also for privacy. Also, people are not coming to your house seeking asylum or because they’re afraid they’re going to die in their house. No one is taking over your spare bedroom, declaring sanctuary, and hoping you don’t check their papers to see if they’re not actually related to you. It’s just a ridiculous argument made by ridiculous people, like the current president of the United States. God help us.

It was also irresponsible of Trump to tweet about Obama’s home and the security situation. He spent years riling up his base with Obama hatred, accusing him of not being a natural-born citizen, and later falsely claiming he had Trump Tower wiretapped.

Michelle Obama writes in her new book, “I was briefed from time to time by the Secret Service on the more serious threats that came in and understood that there were people capable of being stirred.”

“Donald Trump, with his loud and reckless innuendos, was putting my family’s safety at risk. And for this, I’d never forgive him.”

When this is all said and done, I think there’s going to be a lot of stuff we’ll never forgive Donald Trump for.

Trump does not care about the Obama family’s safety, or anyone else’s for that matter. He might even rejoice if misfortune hits them. I’m shocked he didn’t tweet their address with directions.

Yesterday, I tweeted, “It’s a good thing the Obamas have a ‘wall’ around their house, because as soon as finds out he just installed a pool, he’s gonna go over and try to pee in it.”

Or at the very least, he’d send a couple of Russian hookers over to do it for him.”

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Rush For A Dumpster Fire

cjones12292018

After telling Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer that he’d be “proud to shut down the government” and he wouldn’t blame him, is anyone surprised Donald Trump is now blaming the Democrats for his shutdown?

On December 11, sitting in the Oval Office with Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, Trump said, “I am proud to shut down the government for border security, Chuck. … I will take the mantle. I will be the one to shut it down. I’m not going to blame you for it.” After shutting down the government, Trump tweeted on December 21, “Democrats now own the shutdown!” It’s as if video doesn’t exist.

I don’t believe anyone is surprised Trump lied. In fact, I think we all expected he’d blame Democrats, especially after he said he wouldn’t. Trump lies about everything, mostly about the wall he wants on our southern border, starting with “Mexico will pay for it.”

A wall on our southern border will never exist. It’s not necessary, logical, or feasible. It won’t cut down on illegal immigration as most here illegally entered the nation legally. How is a wall going to stop that? The wall is just a racist vanity project to drum up Trump’s withering base of sycophantic supporters. After telling his supporters that Mexico would pay for the wall, he’s now telling them Democrats won’t let him make you pay for it. For some reason, his base is upset they won’t be forced to pay for what they were promised Mexico was supposed to pay for. Now, many in his base are contributing to a GoFundMe to pay for the wall. That might be a great idea. Why should those of us who knew it was a con have to pay for Trump’s lie and broken campaign promise? Is Trump that great of a conman or is his base just that stupid?

How did we get to this shutdown crisis? Because Trump is a toddler having a temper tantrum. The Senate was set to approve a spending deal this week without the $5 billion Trump wants to kick-start his wall project. Trump was prepared to sign it, but after being goaded by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and Laura Ingraham, he changed his mind and forced a government shutdown when it’s not necessary.

Trump realized if he gave up on the wall funding then the ruse is over. His base just might discover there was never any real intention to build a wall. In case you’re not smart enough to have known it was a con job back when he first proposed it during his presidential campaign, his phone call with Mexican president Peña Nieto should have made the con clear.

Shortly after taking office, Trump told Nieto about the wall, “Believe it or not, this is the least important thing that we are talking about, but politically this might be the most important talk about.” He then told Nieto, “The fact is we are both in a little bit of a political bind because I have to have Mexico pay for the wall. I have to. I have been talking about it for a two-year period, and the reason I say they are going to pay for the wall is because Mexico has made a fortune out of the stupidity of US trade representatives.”

He then proposed, “They are going to say, ‘Who is going to pay for the wall, Mr. President?’ to both of us, and we should both say, ‘We will work it out.’ It will work out in the formula somehow. As opposed to you saying, ‘We will not pay’ and me saying, ‘We will not pay.'” This was Trump begging Mexico to help him con his base.

Trump was about to fold and compromise with Congress until right-wing troglodytes on the radio threatened to expose the con.

Rush Limbaugh said, “It’s a textbook example of what the drive-by media calls compromise. Trump gets nothing, and the Democrats get everything, including control of the House.”

Ann Coulter said on a podcast that Trump’s White House would become “a joke presidency who scammed the American people” if he didn’t build the wall, adding that “he’ll have no legacy whatsoever.” Trump was so upset, he unfollowed her on Twitter. But, he caved into Coulter and Rush.

Donald Trump listens to Rush Limbaugh but not his Secretary of Defense. This is the madness and what Republican Senator Bob Corker called the “tyranny of talk radio hosts.” Forget what’s best for America, what does Rush Limbaugh think?

Trump didn’t just do Rush’s bidding. He called him to stop the bleeding with his base. On his show, Limbaugh said, “The president got word to me 20 minutes ago that if it comes back to him without money, if whatever happens in the House and Senate comes back to him with no allocation of $5 billion for the wall, then he’s going to veto it” It’s alarming the president is least concerned about the nation and more worried about what Limbaugh wants.

Trump doesn’t care about this nation. He doesn’t care about the border. He cares about Trump. He cares about his brand.

For all Trump cares, the nation and her people can burn in a dumpster just so long as his brand comes out unscathed.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Go Fund Yourself

cjones12282018

Have you talked to a Trump sycophant lately about the border wall? I have. Many of them are arguing that Mexico will pay for the wall, Mexico is currently paying for the wall through the new NAFTA (that’s not how it works), the wall is currently being built, and we need to shut down the government to force Congress to make us pay for the wall.

After their chants of “build the wall,” Trump would ask, “and who’s going to pay for it,” and they’d all reply at his rallies, “MEXICO,” and yet, they’re mad at Democrats for not making them pay for it. But at least they’re not dumb enough to dig into their wallets and bank accounts to donate their money to build the wall we were promised Mexico is going to pay for. Or are they?

They are.

Brian Kolfage, an Air Force veteran, and triple amputee has created a GoFundMe page to raise money to build Trump’s border wall with Mexico. The goal is $1 billion and within a week he’s already raised $13 million.

Kolfage also operates right-wing websites that engage in conspiracy theories. He ran one called “Freedom Daily” which was sued for defamation in federal court for falsely identifying a Michigan teenager as being responsible for the killing of Heather Heyer, an anti-racist counter-protester at the August 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia.

It’s unclear how the money can be delivered to the government. Citizens can mail gifts to the United States government but maybe not to specific departments, like Homeland Security. Hopefully, they’re not dumb enough to mail it directly to Donald Trump because he has a bad history with other people’s money. $1 billion will buy a lot of KFC.

Kolfage says, “If the 63 million people who voted for Trump each pledge $80, we can build the wall.” It’s true that would amount to the $5 billion Trump is asking from Congress, but that won’t pay for a 2,000-mile wall. Trump’s first request was $25 billion. Estimates on building the wall have ranged from $21 billion to $70 billion. If Kolfage can maintain the excitement and hatred to maintain the current rate, he’ll raise $1 billion in 571 days. Hell, Trump could be in prison by then confronting a very different kind of wall.

Speaking of costs for the border wall, it’ll be even more expensive after Trump’s tariff war.

The GoFundMe for Trump’s racist wall says, “If we don’t reach our goal or come significantly close we will refund every single penny. We are working on a time frame to achieve.” However, the campaign does not have a termination date or explanation of what might count as “significantly close” to the $1 billion target. He also doesn’t provide information on whom or what entity will receive the money. If you’re really stupid, you can also mail the guy a check.

The donors don’t ask a lot of questions, but they should. If their money is given to the government then it will probably be controlled by Congress where Democrats just took the House. They might take your hate money and give it to Planned Parenthood or even worse, feed some kids.

The holidays can be a depressing time. It’s even more depressing knowing people are donating to a hate campaign at Christmas time. How much would these people have paid to keep Jesus from being born in Bethlehem?

If you’re insisting on throwing your money away at Christmas, or any time really, don’t donate to hate. Give to a worthwhile cause that will actually help people, like St. Jude where they don’t charge families, cancer research, or even a local animal shelter. Wouldn’t that feel a lot better than giving to Trump’s hate vanity project? Oops, I forgot. These people are like Trump. They don’t give to charities.

The hate and racism these people have to contribute to this campaign at Christmas time, in addition to their stupidity, is a greater danger to America than immigrants.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Feliz Navidad

cjones12252018

As you celebrate the holidays this season, take at least a moment and think of the nearly 15,000 children currently detained in Donald Trump’s child prison camps.

Most of the migrant children are teenage boys from Central America who crossed the southern border unaccompanied. Most were escaping gangs or poverty and are seeking asylum in the U.S. In November, an average of 175 unaccompanied children crossed the border every day. A senior official with the Department of Health and Human Services blamed a broken immigration system that acts as a “perverse incentive” for undocumented children to cross the border in the first place. Damn this American freedom.

The more than 100 federally contracted shelters (that means someone’s making a lot of money off of this) are 92 percent full. The largest shelter is in Tornillo, West Texas, and it’s composed of heated tents a few hundred yards from the Rio Grande. Currently, there are 2,800 children in the Tornillo shelter. It can accommodate 3,800 children.

There are sponsors waiting for many of these kids. The sponsors are usually family members and the children stay with them while their respective cases for asylum are pending. There is a vetting process for the sponsors, but that process has slowed down to a crawl. The daily discharge rate is about one percent. The Trump administration vets sponsors’ immigration status and requires all adults in a household seeking to care for an immigrant child to submit their fingerprints for a background check. Previous administrations did not do this. They are discouraging people from sponsoring these children.

There are also children being detained because of Trump’s “zero-tolerance” policy that separates parents from their children at the southern border.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, detained children often suffer from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m sure that will be on Donald Trump’s mind while he’s golfing at Mar-a-Lago during his Christmas vacation. I hear the resort makes a mean ham.

While the shelters will give the children Christmas “festivities,” they won’t be with their families. They won’t be receiving hugs.

I hope it rains all week at Mar-a-Lago.

Creative note: This cartoon is the bookend to my Fourth of July Cartoon, Feliz Dia De La Independencia. I’m not a huge fan of holiday cartoons and unless I draw one for The Costa Rica Star this week, this is my last Christmas cartoon of the year. I’ve managed to avoid any sitting on Santa’s lap cartoons or drawing the Grinch, who has been in more commercials than Shaq.

My cartoons have file dates and this one’s the 25th (I’m ridiculously ahead and need to take a day off). Though my clients are not required to embargo the cartoons until their file date, I hope at least one of them runs this on Christmas day. Maybe instead of publishing some sentimental holiday crap, they can give their readers something to think about.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Spray-On Hatred

cjones12232018

I did Nazi that coming. White House hate czar Stephen Miller popped into Face the Nation on Sunday to bloviate about the dangers of immigrants while sporting something on his head that looked like a recalled Chia Pet. Miller should stop taking hair advice from the president and raiding his Adderall.

Miller spent the bulk of his time on CBS promising that Trump would shut down the government if he doesn’t get funding for his racist, xenophobic border wall while pretending that stuff on his head came from his scalp and not a can.

Miller argued that refusing to fund the border wall was the same thing as advocating for illegal immigration and said, “Democrats have a simple choice between fighting for America’s working class and promoting illegal immigration.” I’d argue that milking $5 billion out of the budget for a useless wall that can be defeated by ladders does more harm to America’s working class than immigrants. Miller would probably enjoy kicking over cartons of water left by humanitarians for immigrants, except the desert sun would melt his faux follicles.

What makes less sense than Miller’s new hairline is threatening to shut down the government and having those guarding the border going unpaid. Can we stop the dogmatic lie that those against the wall are in favor of an unprotected border?

The wall is a ridiculous argument but it’s loved by those who love simple solutions and talking points. “Build the wall” is a fun chant for sycophants who form their opinions from internet memes. There’s no thinking required.

The wall is impossible. We can’t build a wall to cover our entire border when it would have to go over private property, mountains, and rivers. If we can’t protect our entire border then how are we going to protect the entire wall from people going over or under it? We’re talking about something that will cost between $20 to $70 billion dollars that can be conquered by Mexican ladders.

On top of all that, the wall is hateful. If the wall is ever actually constructed, it will be a dark spot on our nation’s history alongside slavery and the internment of Japanese Americans. If the wall is built, someday a more enlightened United States will tear it down.

But the wall will never be built. Stephen Miller has a better chance of needing a comb before that wall’s ever constructed.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Nancy Boy

cjones12182018

Just another silly little bonus cartoon for you. Enjoy.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Nancy’s Wall

cjones12172018

Donald Trump, the great negotiator, negotiated himself into a box yesterday.

Trump told Senator Chuck Schumer that if he doesn’t get what he wants for funding a border wall with Mexico, that he would shut the government down and take all the blame for it. He said, on camera, that he wouldn’t blame Schumer or the Democrats, and he’d take all the blame. He also said he would be “proud” to shut the government down for border security.

The nation doesn’t like government shutdowns, especially around Christmas. In the past, both parties blamed each other for shutdowns even though nobody wins them except Bill Clinton. Now, Democrats can refuse to fund the wall, let Trump shut down the government, and watch public scorn land on him. Trump gave Democrats little reason to give him funding for the wall.

Publicly, Republicans responded by saying they didn’t want a shutdown, and they hoped the negotiations would continue. Majority Leader Mitch McConnell described the discussions in the Oval Office between Trump, Schumer, and Pelosi as “spirited.” If Republicans are saying that in public then they’re probably screaming behind closed doors.

One administration official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said Trump appeared upset after leaving the meeting, flicking a folder and sending papers flying out. A staffer told the Los Angeles Times after Schumer and Pelosi left, the West Wing sprang into “damage-control mode,” adding, “The aftermath of that meeting was not pretty.”

And you wonder why no reasonable person wants to be his Chief of Staff.

Trump invited the Democrats into a trap. The setting was before cameras where Trump feels he has the edge. The Democrats even offered to take the discussion private to avoid the theatrics, but Trump refused, citing “transparency.” Unfortunately, if your trap hinges on your being more intelligent and more prepared than your opponents, and you’re neither, you’re going to fall into your own trap.

Reality TV is not reality. Reality is what Chuck and Nancy delivered each time Trump lied. He lied about having Republican support in the House for the wall (which they haven’t voted to fund over the past two years). Trump lied eight times that construction on the wall has started. He claimed Mexico would pay for the wall by paying higher prices for American goods in the “New Nafta.” The Democrats called him out on his lies. The reality is that Trump is not going to get funding for his stupid wall.

Trump is not used to being corrected or stood up to. In classic bully fashion, when confronted, he backed down.

Trump attempted some mansplaining and got schooled. He said Pelosi was “in a situation where it’s not easy for her to talk right now,” because of her race for Speaker. Pelosi calmly hit back, with, “Mr. President, please don’t characterize the strength that I bring to this meeting as the leader of the House Democrats, who just won a big victory.”

Later, she got her digs in. She said, “You get into a tinkle contest with a skunk, you get tinkle all over you.” But the statement that will truly sting Trump the most was, “It’s like a manhood thing for him. As if manhood could ever be associated with him.” Pelosi “smocked” Trump. The only thing that would have made it better would have been one of the Democrats referring to Trump as “Individual One.”

Any doubt that still existed before this that Pelosi is the one to take on Trump is now extinguished. Jules and Vincent couldn’t have walked out of the cafe any cooler at the end of Pulp Fiction than Pelosi walked out of the White House yesterday.

Democrats have put two offers on the table, neither of which has wall funding: $1.6 billion in “fencing” along the southern border or a continuation of last year’s spending levels for the Department of Homeland Security, about $1.3 billion. Trump is demanding $5 billion.

For Trump sycophants, they see Trump defending their interest by demanding that they pay for a campaign promise he broke. On the campaign trail, Trump promised Mexico would pay for the wall. At no point during the 2016 presidential campaign did Trump say American taxpayers would have to pay for his stupid, useless, racist border wall. Now, he’s telling his supporters they should be upset that Democrats won’t make them pay for it.

Democrats should not give Trump one cent for his wall. They also should not use Dreamers as a bargaining chip like they did earlier in the year. Don’t make Americans pay for Trump’s broken campaign promise, especially on something useless that’s only designed to appeal to a xenophobic, nationalistic, racist base.

And welcome to the new reality where Trump is not in control, and he might actually realize it. Trump is not a negotiator, intelligent, or even remotely competent for the presidency. Hopefully, Republicans start to realize it too.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Scale That Wall

cjones05122017

Last week Donald Trump signed a spending bill to prevent a government shutdown. He wanted $1.4 billion to be included as a down payment on his stupid border wall. That $1.4 billion was to come from us, not Mexico.

Trump didn’t get it but he declared victory anyway. Included in the bill is $341 million for replacement fencing and levee gates along the U.S.-Mexico border. They’re claiming this is the start of building Trump’s wall. In doing so Trump sycophants, Sean Spicer and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney, displayed pictures of construction being done for this new wall. Once again, they were a little less than honest.

Mulvaney showed photos of a weak-looking fence that he said was a barrier on the border and that it would soon be replaced with a real wall. Problem is, the fence in the photo was actually a fence around a construction site. Mulvaney couldn’t even tell reporters where along the border this fence was as he didn’t know. It was like those Congressmen who voted on a health plan without reading or understand the bill. You would think people explaining great big plans for the federal government would actually do a little research before the step in front of reporters to sell a bunch of bullshit.

There is construction on repairing and reinforcing current existing barriers and Trump is taking credit for this. The spending for these projects were actually approved during the last two administrations, Obama and Bush. Trump is not shy for taking credit for Obama’s progress in job growth, stock market, a decrease in illegal immigration, companies deciding to stay in the U.S., etc. Trump took credit for “ending” the birther movement.

People expect Trump to have a better grasp on history. The guy doesn’t know what’s going on now.

Trump is asking for a lot of money to build a border wall and he hasn’t even provided details. All he told us on the campaign trail was that Mexico would pay for it. After he took office he told us that we’re going to pay for it and Mexico will reimburse us in one way or another.

Republicans on the House and Senate Appropriations committees want the White House and the Department of Homeland Security to provide Congress with detailed plans for the wall and other border security measures. Details, Donald. Details. Not this “trust me” crap. Not a repeat of the line “Don’t worry about it. It’s going up. It’ll be beautiful and terrific.” Real actual details. I don’t think you’re going to get any money for your stupid wall without a plan.

I expect the Trump wall to eventually receive the Les Nessman office treatment. On WKRP Les felt he deserved an office yet he never received one. So the quirky news director put masking tape on the floor around his desk where his “walls” would be if he had an office. He also insisted that his co-workers pretend to knock on the imaginary door before entering the non-existent office. We can do that on the border and ask the Mexicans to pretend to knock before entering. Hola. No dooro mean no stopo.

Heck, I bet Mexico would even pay for the masking tape. Trump would claim victory.

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The Jerk

cjones04292017

During the presidential campaign Donald Trump promised his supporters repeatedly that he will build a wall along the Mexican border, because he’s good at building things, and that Mexico will pay for it. He based his entire campaign around the dumb wall idea. In fact, he first proposed the wall during his announcement for the presidency.

Now he’s pushing Congress to start the initial funding for the wall promising that Mexico will eventually pay for it one way or another. During the campaign he’d say “we’re gonna build a wall, and who’s gonna pay for it?” His racist supporters would gleefully shout in between chants of “lock her up” and beating up black protesters “Mexico!” At no point during that campaign did he ever say “we’re gonna build a wall, and who’s gonna pay for it?” with his supporters responding “Mexico…eventually one way or another after we pay for it initially.” Do you recall that? No you do not because it never happened.

From the very first day of the campaign when he first proposed the stupid wall everyone who possesses just the tiniest bit of sense knew it was total BS. Not only will Mexico not pay for that wall, but we’ll never build it. His supporters, however, believed it. Many Republicans in Congress still believe. Many just give it lip service knowing full well it’ll never happen. His supporters, who are still happy they voted for him, still believe in the wall fantasy.

Why won’t we build it? We shouldn’t build it because it’s a stupid-ass idea that’s racist and hateful to its core. Quite frankly, I don’t want to pay for stupid-ass racist ideas. Hell, they’re tearing them down in New Orleans (in the dead of night while wearing bulletproof vests so Nazis don’t shoot them). The real reason we won’t build it is because it will cost too much and it’s not even feasible. The government doesn’t even own all the land along our border with Mexico, and a lot of it runs along rivers and mountains. As for the cost, no one really knows. Do you know what’s a better idea? Taco trucks on every corner.

Trump first stated that it would cost $10 billion. Now they’re saying around $21 billion. Others are stating it’ll cost up to $70 billion and $150 million a year to maintain. That wall is not a toll booth that will pay for itself. Plus, after you build a 20-foot wall Mexicans will come up with 21-foot ladders. Besides, most people who are in this nation illegally didn’t enter over our border with Mexico. Building the wall is a statement that the only illegal immigrants we have an issue with are the brown ones.

I’m gonna go out on short limb here and say that illegal immigration is not the gravest threat to our nation. President Obama deported more people here without documentation than George W. Illegal immigration is down. It went down further over the winter, which it does every winter, and of course Trump took credit for that. He doesn’t believe man-made Climate Change can affect the weather, but he can. God just parts the clouds and ends the rain during his inauguration.

Trump wanted the wall so badly, and funding passed and signed before this weekend so he can have a legislative achievement before the 100-day marker, that he was willing to shut down the government. Attorney General Jeff Sessions complained that if the Democrats blocked it then it was their fault for shutting down the government.

How does it work that you can blame the Democrats when Republicans control the White House, Senate, and House? Oops, I forgot. By lying. By the way, Mr. Attorney General, you’re not in the Senate anymore. It’s time to remove yourself from partisan politics and to remove your lips which are firmly stuck to Trump’s pasty orange ass.

Trump is starting to realize that Congress isn’t going to fund the wall and he’s backing off. He still hasn’t embraced the reality that if Congress, which loves to throw money at bad ideas, won’t fund the wall then how in the world is he going to make the Mexican government pay for it?

Trump has already lied and broken several campaign promises. He’s broken the promise of Mexico paying for the wall so why not just let the lie happen in that the wall is never going to happen.

I do have a prediction for you: If they do start building the wall, it will never be finished. It will be a fitting monument to our stupidity, xenophobia, and racism.

Creative notes: I was having a cartoon discussion with one of my colleagues a couple weeks ago and we talked about using movies in our work. We were mocking this one guy who loves to use outdated movies, and the posters for those movies, for his cartoons (because he’s out of ideas). Do you know why Republican political cartoonists ran out of ideas? Because Jeff MacNelly died. I digress. This one cartoonist uses the Jim Carrey movie “Liar Liar” at least twice a year. It’s stupid. He also uses “Dumb And Dumber.” 

My buddy and I created a rule for our use. That rule is, don’t use a movie for a political cartoon unless it’s recent or a classic. Some classics, for example, are “Gone With The Wind,” “The Wizard Of Oz,” “Casablanca,” and “Jaws.” Some more fairly recent classics, which you know I’ve used, are “Airplane,” “Blazing Saddles,” and “The Jerk.” I think my pal disagreed on using “The Jerk.” I don’t and I just created a new rule. That rule is: If the average red-blooded American can name one quote from the movie, then you can use it in a cartoon.

I’m sure everyone in the world knows “there’s no place like home,” “this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” “We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” “yes I am serious and don’t call me “Shirley,'” “where all the white women at?”, and “he hates these cans.” 

I didn’t have to Google any of those quotes. Of course, I am a geek and a trove of useless information, but I’m sure you recognize every single quote and the film they came from. If you didn’t, stop reading my blog. I disown you.

I’ve also learned that when you use quotes, especially from the comedies, people love it almost as much as they love seeing a Beagle in the cartoon.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.