BLM

Scaredy MAGAts


Cjones07062021

In the comments under yesterday’s cartoon on Instagram, I was called a “libtard.” I didn’t think it was that special though it’s been a while since someone has hurled that bigoted and ignorant insult in my direction. And I didn’t just get it once. I got it four times. It amused me so I tweeted about it…which lead to me being called the word about 17 more more times on Twitter.

First off, to the liberals who replied that I should throw it back at them with something like “Trumptard,” you’re missing the point. We don’t sink to their level and you don’t fight bigotry with bigotry. If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll be more direct: Don’t use the word, “tard.” Don’t justify it.

Normally, goons call me something like “snowflake.” They think that’s clever. It’s been over four years but that still gets chuckles from them. I love that they use that word, because it’s another example of conservative projection. You see, conservatives are cowards to the point they’re afraid of tiny little thing, like a gay player in the NFL, to the “WAP” song, to losing their white privilege, and to things that don’t even exist, like Jewish Space Lasers.

For example: Republicans have been screaming about communism and Sharia law for years, yet it hasn’t happened here. Another example of projection is their campaigning for their own version of Sharia law.

And if you don’t believe me that Republicans are huge cowards and are constantly snowflaking about shit, just turn on Tucker. He cries about everything and especially if it’s stuff that doesn’t exist. He is the center of the cowardly universe for Republicans who tune in nightly to see what they should be afraid of tomorrow.

This July 4th, fireworks may send your sweet doggy hiding underneath your bed out of fear and anxiety, but Bowser ain’t got nothing on Tucker. Tucker probably sleeps under his bed every night, and unlike in this cartoon, he probably takes the Trumpy Bear with him. And, if you have named your dog after Tucker, that is animal cruelty.

Right now, Republicans have so much to be afraid of that will never hurt them. Stuff like Critical Race Theory, Jewish Space Lasers, Italian satellites, Chinese bamboo ballots, Levar Burton hosting Jeopardy!, gay football players, Ilhan Omar, Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, Hilary Clinton, Sandra Fluke (let’s bring her back), Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (women in general), Juneteenth, trans athletes (this is the hot one for the moment), taking down Confederate statues, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, woke generals, and me. Actually, I’m the only one you should be afraid of and I’m coming to getcha.

When I started this cartoon, I already had some of these topics in my head…but I needed to be reminded what else they’re afraid of, which forced me to look at some stuff I didn’t want to look at.

Lately, I’ve been trying to cut negativity out of my life. That means no looking at Trumper pages on social media, no looking at conservative political cartoons, and no watching Fox News, which I never do anyway. But, to see the current fears, I had to go look at some. It was either that or call one of my MAGAt sisters. No thanks!

First thing I did was check out the Facebook page of one cartoonist, who is not my friend, but is afraid of everything and is always posting about it. He’s on the pulse of right-wing bullshit which can come in helpful for research. Right now his main fears are the vaccine, trans people, and President Biden whispering. He’s also afraid of having his white privilege taken away and it’s obvious he hates black people. He also has a weird Led Zeppelin fetish. It is weird for a 60-year-old man to post 18 shirtless-Robert Plant pictures a day, right?

Then I looked at some cartoons from a bunch of them and…HOLY SHIT!!!!! Did you hear about this trans thing? Apparently, they’re going to shower with us, win beauty pageants, and steal gold medals at the Olympics. This is a major crisis in conservative media. Also, they’re never watching the NFL again…again.

And then, I did what I really didn’t want to do. I went to Breitbart. Ugh. Breitbart used to, and maybe they still do, have an entire section devoted to “black on black crime.” It’s like the racist section but they couldn’t call it the “racist” section. Today’s headlines at the Breitbart include scary stories about trans people, black people, CNN, Critical Race Theory, Biden eating ice cream (that sonofabitch!), gays, more trans people, another Critical Race Theory story, covid this and covid that, immigrants, more trans people, more Critical Race Theory, more immigrants, more black people, more trans people, Critical Race Theory again, and Tucker Carlson is probably right about being spied on by the NSA…and more trans stories. Nothing about aliens, at least not on the front page.

Conservatives are really afraid of EVERYTHING. They need help for their anxiety but I can’t find anything on the web about how to soothe and calm a MAGAt suffering from loud noises. So, I decided to take the tips for dogs suffering from firework anxiety and apply it to dumbass racist Republican conspiracy theorists. Maybe one of these can keep your MAGAt from scurrying under your bed and piddling. MAGAt piddle is just the worst.

Tip 1: Ask your vet for a sedative. I’m sure any sedative designed for your fur baby will also work on your MAGAt baby. Just don’t be tempted to give them the entire bottle because it’ll sure be nice if you don’t see them for a few days. I understand the temptation. Also, don’t hit them in the head with a hammer, though again, I understand the temptation.

Tip 2: Hold them close and say, “shhhh. It’ll be alright. AOC isn’t coming to get you.” This may not work as nobody wants to hold a MAGAt close to their own body. Ew.

Tip 3: Give them a treat. Raw bacon, waffle fries from Chick-fil-A, a sandwich from Cheesecake Factory, or just a block of raw butter from Cracker Barrell may get them excited long enough not to notice CNN ran a special on the Tulsa Massacre.

Tip 4: Belly rubs. MAGAts love a good belly tickle. But once again, this would mean you have to touch them. Also, most MAGAts are sticky. You’ve been warned.

Tip 5: Tell them you’re trans. They’ll probably jump out the window and you’ll never see them again. That advice wasn’t on the doggy site because people love dogs and want to see them again. Have you ever heard of anyone adopting a lost MAGAt? No, you have not.

Tip 6: Buy your MAGAt a one-way bus trip to Jacksonville and let him be their problem. Jacksonville won’t notice. It’s not like they’ll say, “Hey, have you noticed Jacksonville has been a lot more Jacksonvilley?”

Tip 7: Turn off Fox News. You shouldn’t let your dog watch Fox News either as that’s animal cruelty.

Tip 8: The doggy site says to familiarize your pet to the sounds, but I think if you repeat “Ilhan Omar” too often, your MAGAt may leap into a ceiling fan. But then again, win-win except for the mess. MAGAts are sticky on the inside too…we think. It may just be a lot of coal.

Tip 9: Did I mention the one-way bus ticket to Jacksonville? I did? Never mind.

Tip 10: Distraction: Someone should produce and sell mobiles with Trump’s face on them. If you put that above a MAGAts bed, he may not notice anything else. See if you can work some Benadryl into the baby bottle.

Tip 11: Ball gag.

Tip 12: Get him a Thundershirt. Be warned, they don’t work on everybody. For instance, they don’t work on Beagles. But, Beagles are way smarter than MAGAts and are fooled less easily. You never heard a Beagle bitch about immigration…unless you immigrated a cat into the house. Speaking of cats, there are Thundershirts for cats. Putting a Thundershit on a MAGAt has gotta be a hell of a lot easier than putting a shirt on a cat. Also, thundershirts use velcro, so like a MAGAts shoes, they may be able to put them on by themselves. As I recall though, you had to slide arms in, fold one piece over another, then fold the piece that has the velcro…never mind. It’s way too complicated for a MAGAt and you’re gonna have to help him.

If none of these work, there’s the hammer idea and you can probably get that one-way bus ticket to Jacksonville for about $80.00. Hell, that’s twice the price of a Thundershirt.

Last tip: Stop with the fireworks. What are you, six? Get over it already.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Fresh Terrorists


Cjones04182021

We don’t just need police reform in this nation. We need justice reform.

Last weekend, Saturday Night Live did a skit of a morning news show where the white hosts were certain Derek Chauvin would be convicted while the black hosts were like, “eh…we’re not so sure.” I’ll be honest, I will not be shocked if Chauvin walks. Sure, his defense has been ridiculous, but have you met white America? The jury is mostly white and they only need to convince one juror there’s doubt of Chauvin’s guilt…not even that he is innocent. They only need one juror to refuse to convict. Let me remind you, they’re in white Minnesota.

Last June, the National Guard used tear gas to clear protesters away from the White House for no reason other than a photo-op for Donald Trump. The attack from the government came before curfew in broad daylight. The protesters were peaceful. Later, additional fences and barriers were placed around the White House. The protesters were protesting against police violence on black Americans.

Before the attack on the U.S. Capitol on January 6, the Capitol Police were told not to use their most aggressive tactics or weapons against the expected “protesters.” Those protesters were terrorists. They were white terrorists. Now, do you honestly believe they would have been told to hold back if they were expecting black protesters? After the white terrorists broke into the Capitol, one was killed by the Capitol Police. If they were black, how many do you think would have died?

MAGAts are still defending the terrorists and they want the cop prosecuted who shot her. Do you think they’d be making the same demands if the terrorist was black and a part of “antifa?”

Daunte Wright was killed by police in Minnesota last Sunday. They police say it was an “accidental” shooting because the cop, a 26-year veteran, mistakenly used her Glock pistol instead of her taser. Police later said they pulled him over for an expired tag, but moments before they killed him, Wright called his mother and said he had been pulled over because his rearview air freshener was obstructing his view. How often do white people get pulled over for air fresheners?

Do you believe Army Lt. Caron Nazario would have been assaulted by police in Virginia if he was white? Do you think they would have approached his vehicle with guns drawn if he was white? Do you think they would have at least apologized by now if he was white? The chief of the Windsor Police Department says the department doesn’t owe Nazario an apology and even though they’ve fired one of the cops, wishes Nazario “would have complied a whole lot earlier.” Somehow, it’s still the black guy’s fault for being pulled over and pepper sprayed despite not breaking any laws. In Windsor, they haven’t fired enough cops yet.

The National Guard tear gassed a black crowd in Washington, D.C. The Capitol Police were told not to be aggressive with a white crowd. The Chauvin defense has witnesses saying he wasn’t aggressive enough while killing George Floyd. The Windsor Police will not apologize for how aggressive they were to Lt. Nazario.

The best evidence we need police reform is America’s police. No more racist cops. No more system of systemic racism.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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RoJo Is A Racist Mofo


cjones03162021

On Sundays, my CNN cartoon is published and I try to bask in that accomplishment and not draw anything all day. Maybe I’ll watch a movie on Disney+ or Netflix and avoid news all together. That was my plan for this Sunday, but then Ron Johnson pissed me off.

I think when my copy editor Laura sees this, she’s going to tell me it’s more reality than it is a cartoon. Why? Because this is the gist of what Wisconsin Republican Senator Ron Johnson said on a right-wing radio show.

Senator Johnson, who some call “Rojo,” isn’t just a racist senator. He’s a stupid dishonest one too. But then again, he is a Republican and a massive Trump supporter…so being racist, stupid, and a liar comes with the territory.

Ron Johnson watched while the United States Capitol building was attacked by white supremacist terrorist Trump supporters. They broke into the building. The damaged property. They defecated and urinated in the halls. They stole property. They desecrated our Capitol. They injured over 100 Capitol Police officers and they killed one. They attacked cops and beat them with flag poles and fire extinguishers. Over 40 have been arrested so far. Ron Johnson said he only saw law-abiding citizens. It gets worse.

On “The Joe Pag Show,” a radio show I’m assuming has an audience of racist troglodytes, Ron Johnson said he “never felt threatened” by the pro-Trump mob because…wait for it…they weren’t black.

Johnson said, “I knew those are people that love this country, that truly respect law enforcement, would never do anything to break the law, so I wasn’t concerned.”

They broke the law just be entering the building, dumbass. How much respect do you have for the law when you break and climb into windows? How much respect for the law do you have when you’re walking out with the Speaker’s podium? How much respect do you have for this country when you take a shit on the floor of the United States Capitol? How much love do you have for this country when you try to overturn an election and stage a bloody coup attempt?

That was the stupid dishonest part of Johnson’s statements. It was followed by a racist one.

He said, “Had the tables been turned and President Trump won the election and those were tens of thousands of Black Lives Matter and antifa protesters, I might have been a little concerned.”

Basically, white people with nooses, storming the capitol, waving Confederate flags, wearing “Camp Auschwitz” shirts, leaving pipe bombs, killing cops, isn’t concerning…but if one of them had an afro, then I guess the person crapping on the floors would have been Ron Johnson. And you know what? I bet if it had been a non-violent Black Lives Matter protest at the Capitol, the National Guard would have swooped in a lot quicker than they did last January 6 when Donald Trump sent white terrorists to overturn a free election and stop a Constitutional process.

Also, it’s really bizarre Ron Johnson is saying he would have only been concerned if antifa was a part of the rioters when in the past he claimed it was antifa who did the rioting. C’mon, guys. You gotta keep your bullshit talking points straight. Pick a stupid lie and stick to it.

From personal experience, I was never concerned about the crowd I was with when I was walking with Black Lives Matter in New York City on June 1, 2020. I wasn’t even worried when I saw a few stores get looted by the minority of protesters. Even then, they were nice and one even offered me a Jeter jersey. I had great conversations with the protesters and many thanked me for “helping their cause” and for “lending my whiteness.” One girl called me “white brother” which I liked very much. Some of the best Americans I ever met were marching in Manhattan that night to selflessly advance civil rights for every person this nation.

What did concern me was when white people started dropping water bottles on the marchers out of their penthouses. It concerned me when cops started screaming at us while raising their batons. It was greatly concerning when after screaming at me and a few others (who happened to be Asian) to go in a different direction, that after we complied, they kept following and screaming at us. I was greatly concerned when the New York City Police told me I would be arrested if I broke curfew…while they were blocking me from entering my hotel.

Not one black person or member of antifa concerned me that night. But if Ron Johnson had been there, well…he’d probably be up in a building dropping water bottles on peaceful protesters because he would have been concerned because the majority of the crowd was not white.

I saw people in Manhattan, of all colors and races, spend their own money on water and face masks, then hand them out to strangers who were protesting. It was one of the most unifying events I have ever witnessed or been a part of. I felt genuine love between the protesters. What I saw on January 6 at the Capitol was hate, fear, and rage inspired by people like Ron Johnson who told them lies.

You canNOT compare a Black Lives Matter rally or march to white nationalist terrorism in the name of Donald Trump. Black Lives Matter seeks equality for all. They’re demanding that cops stop murdering unarmed black people. Trump terrorists tried to destroy our democracy and install a fascist dictator. If you don’t see the difference in that, well then you’re Ron Johnson.

Any senator who pledges more loyalty to Donald Trump than to his/her constituents is a lousy senator. Ron Johnson has put Trump before the truth and his country on multiple occasions.

Wisconsin’s motto is “Forward.” In 2022 when Rojo is up for reelection, they need to prove they believe in their motto and remove their racist, lying, stupid senator from Congress. If enough black people and anti-fascists turn out to vote, Ron Johnson will be justified in being “concerned.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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MyTerrorist


cjones11252020

Remember when that underage terrorist twerp Kyle Rittenhouse went across state lines to shoot at people protesting for racial justice in Kenosha, Wisconsin and ended up killing two of them? He just made bail. You may be asking yourself, “How did an unemployed 16-year-old right-wing militia wannabe terrorist come up with $2 million for bail?”. You can thank the MyPillow guy and actor Ricky Schroder.

Rittenhouse’s lawyer tweeted, “KYLE RITTENHOUSE IS OUT OF JAIL! God bless ALL who donated to help #FightBack raise required $2M cash bail. Special thanks to Actor Ricky Schroder @rickyshroder1 & Mike Lindell @realMikeLindell for putting us over the top. Kyle is SAFE. Thanks to ALL who helped this boy.”

I know all this time you’ve been as concerned as I have about the safety of Kyle Motherfucking Rittenhouse. Oh, I hope jail treated him nicely. I hope the food wasn’t too horrible. I’m sure the pillow wasn’t as comfy as an $80 MyPillow…or from what I’ve gathered from online reviews…maybe it was.

Anyway, this underage terrorist who somehow illegally gained access to an assault rifle and killed people is out on bail and the child actor to thank, or blame, isn’t Chachi. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’at? Scott Baio’s stupid racist ass didn’t do it? Of course not. Chachi doesn’t have money. Have you seen him in anything lately? Fact: Scott Baio has had three sitcoms and I never watched one episode. I did watch Happy Days but that wasn’t HIS sitcom. And I know what you’re thinking. Scott Baio has had THREE sitcoms? I mean, he’s had as many TV shows as Matt LeBlanc who as far as I can tell, is NOT a Nazi.

In case you’re concerned that Ricky Schroder has gone over to the dark side…he only confirmed the information on…wait for it…Parler, the brand new online social media destination for racists and Qanon fucknuts claiming they’re leaving Facebook and Twitter because their conspiracy theories are being censored. Perhaps acting on Silver Spoons as a child left a permanent soft spot in Ricky for billionaire assholes. So what’s the MyPillow guy’s excuse? He’s a racist billionaire asshole. That’s not fair. Maybe he’s just a millionaire.

Mike Lindell overcame a crack problem and found Jesus. He also found Trump. What is it with born-again Christians being so supportive of anti-Jesus principles? Why are Christians so horny for racist policies that put brown babies in jail? Why are they so hot for policies that drug test welfare recipients, so if daddy did weed, his baby can’t eat? If you figure that one out, let me know.

I’m very supportive of Mike Lindell’s recovery from crack, but I think he’s still an addict. He’s addicted to orange Kool-Aid and like Chachi and Silver Spoons bastard who was in The Champ with MAGAt Jon Voight (I spent some time on Wikipedia this morning), he’s a cultist. And when Mike Lindell’s not pushing pillows full of bullshit, he’s pushing bullshit cures for the coronavirus. Lindell pushes treatment for Covid-19 that’s so stupid, only Ben Carson tries it.

People who go out and point guns at protesters are championed by Trump and his MAGAts. Case in point: Those scummy lawyers in St. Louis who were so threatened by Black Lives Matter protesters walking down their street, that that they interrupted margarita time to point guns at them…were championed at the Republican National Convention.

Make no mistake about it. Trump and MAGAts aren’t celebrating rich-asshole lawyers for wearing shirts with mustard stains. It’s the pointing guns at black people they like. Trump and Republicans encourage white domestic terrorism. Kyle Rittenhouse gained an automatic weapon illegally and crossed state lines to kill two people…and you haven’t heard one word from the president (sic) of the United States disavowing that. Donald Trump has actually argued that Rittenhouse was practicing self defense when he crossed state lines to kill people. I’m sure Ben Carson bought that bullshit.

Republicans argue that people should take up automatic weapons and defend their homes from black people walking in front of it, but Rittenhouse wasn’t even in his own state, less enough his “home.”

Kyle Rittenhouse, who was too young to possess an automatic weapon, took an automatic weapon across state lines, joined militia goobers in parading around Kenosha pretending to defend businesses, where not one person stopped to say, “Hey…is that kid old enough to be stomping around here with an automatic weapon?”. Instead, cops gave him bottles of water. Instead, after shooting people and walking toward police cars with his hands up, the cops drove past him. No worried that kid with a smoking automatic weapon…he’s white.

In contrast, cops shot Jacob Blake in the back four times (they shot seven times but missed with three of them), paralyzing him…after tasing him…twice. Oh yeah. Jacob Blake is black.

The shooting of Jacob Blake is what the protests were over in Kenosha. Estimates put the property damage at around…wait for it…$2 million. MyPillow and Silver Spoons could have helped the community out more by donating to rebuild it instead of giving that money to a domestic Trumper terrorist. But no. They would rather make a martyr out of a killer.

I think giving money to a terrorist fuck like Kyle Rittenhouse, who’s probably going to be found guilty of murder by a jury, is almost as much of a waste as spending $80 on a shitty pillow.

Either way, it’ll probably be hard to sleep at nights.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Wanton Endangerment


cjones09272020

Finally, after several months, a Kentucky grand jury leveled charges against Louisville police officer Brett Hankison in connection to the shooting of Breonna Taylor. Remember, cops busted into Taylor’s apartment, looking for someone who wasn’t there, and shot and killed her after her boyfriend shot at police. Hankison shot his gun ten times. The other two officers involved shot 22 times. Investigators say they can’t determine which officers killed Breonna (bullshit), who was struck six times. For this incident, Hankison was charged with three counts of “wanton endangerment.”

What does that mean? It means he’s NOT being charged for the death of Breonna Taylor, but for being careless. The three counts are for the three people in the apartment next door to Taylor’s which contained three people.

If there were over 32 shots from the three officers, and investigators can’t determine who shot Breonna six times, then why is only one of the cops being charged? I call bullshit on this entire thing.

According to the Kentucky statute, someone “is guilty of wanton endangerment in the first degree when, under circumstances manifesting extreme indifference to the value of human life, he wantonly engages in conduct which creates a substantial danger of death or serious physical injury to another person.” Uh, he didn’t just create “substantial danger” or “physical injury.” The cop…or cops in this case, KILLED a person. They killed an innocent person.

For this, the cop may serve up to five years in jail for each count. The minimum is one. So, if the cop gets the minimum charge at three years, then he’ll probably end up serving less than half that time. At least that’s the way I understand but I’ll accept a correction if there is one.

Wanton endangerment is a Class D felony, the lowest of four classes of felonies. It’s almost like three cops went into the wrong apartment, without knocking or serving a warrant, shot up the place, killed Taylor, and got off with a misdemeanor.

Legal experts like to say prosecutors can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich. While grand juries are independent, the prosecutor chooses what evidence to present. What did they present to this grand jury? Yes, prosecutors can indict a ham sandwich, unless that ham sandwich shot a black person.

Kentucky’s Attorney General, Daniel Cameron said, “I certainly understand the pain that has been brought about by the tragic death of Breonna Taylor. I understand that as a Black man.” But he was involved in a typical white Republican decision. To the legal system, black lives don’t matter.

First, this shooting happened last March. It took over six months for charges? If a black man busted into someone’s apartment and killed a white women, do you really believe it would take a six-month investigation to bring charges? Do you really believe the most he’d get would be for damaging walls?

So let’s get some things straight. You can get killed by police for driving while black. You can get killed by police for walking while black. You can get killed by police for being a five-year-old with a toy gun while black. You can get killed by police for bouncing a check while black. You can get killed by police for passing a $20 counterfeit bill while black. You can get killed by police for standing in the wrong place at the wrong time while black. And now, you can get killed by police for sleeping while black.

Black lives matter. Even in Kentucky.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Hey, Hey, Hater Kansas City


cjones09152020

I know from the history of this website that I have readers who don’t watch football. I know. Crazy. I once had a reader tell me I should go into more depth to explain who Tom Brady is. But anyway, let me give the backstory to this.

Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs are racist assholes. There. Backstory done.

No? OK. I’ll provide more information.

In case you’re a Republican, Kansas City, where the Chiefs of the National Football League play, is in Missouri. It’s not in Kansas like Donald Trump believes. Seriously. But anyway, Thursday night was the kickoff to the new NFL season. While most game won’t have fans in attendance, the Chiefs allowed about 17,000 into the 60,000 plus stadium to watch the game. And during a moment of unity, the fans booed.

What? Who boos unity? Apparently, Kansas City boos unity.

Let’s get something straight here. To believe in unity is to believe in peace. To believe we’re all equal and should have the same civil rights, opportunities, and equality is not a crazy Democratic Party, radical-left, foie gras-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, long-haired hippy, commie ideal. It shouldn’t be political to believe we should all get along. It shouldn’t be partisan to think our children should live in a world where they’ll never experience hate directed at them.

After it was announced that in addition to the national anthem being performed before the game, that “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” considered to be the black national anthem, would also be performed, conservatives became outraged. How weird is that? If they weren’t told it was the black national anthem, they would have been fine with it. I’ll bet you a hairy nickel they wouldn’t have been outraged if the song being added was “Sweet Home, Alabama.”

Basically, these people are saying they’re done with the NFL because the league wants to be nice to black people. Donald Trump yells it’s why the ratings are going down.

Before, these jerks were outraged at Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during the national anthem and lied claiming he was disrespecting our troops when he was really taking a knee for equality and against racism and oppression.

Donald Trump, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement in the United States doesn’t believe white privilege or systemic racism exists and that anyone who does has “drank the Kool-Aid.”

But in Kansas City, they took it a step further by booing unity. When the players of both teams locked arms for a moment of silence, it wasn’t silent. The crowd booed. Conservatives aren’t happy with loud protests or silent protests. So, when can we protest against racism? Oh, never? Yeah, that’s it. Donald Trump teargassed a peaceful crowd for protesting racism.

The Chiefs fans didn’t boo kneeling during the national anthem. They didn’t boo a statement like, “Defund the police.” They didn’t boo a giant picture of George Floyd. They didn’t boo the organization Black Lives Matter. They didn’t boo someone saying, “Black lives matter.” They booed equality. They booed peace. You would have thought from the boos that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was singing “Say It Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud” while burning a pile of cheeseburgers and standing on an American flag.

But no, These fuckers were booing something anti-racist. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, we’ll keep our racism, thank you very much.”

Booing unity is like booing puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. Puppies, tacos, and sandwiches are awesome. Everybody likes puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. But then again, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement doesn’t like puppies, eats his tacos in a bowl, and only eats sandwiches from McDonald’s.

Last year, I was very happy for the coach of the Chiefs, Andry Reid. They won the Super Bowl and it was a long time coming for the old coach. I think Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the league and he’s an awesome kid. But, I will be rooting against the Chiefs this year. I’m not so much rooting against the Chiefs as I am against Chiefs fans.

You booed unity, Kansas City. What the hell is wrong with you to boo unity?

Boo, Chiefs fans. They’re a bunch of racist jerks.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Choke


cjones09052020

Donald Trump gave an interview to Fox News’ Laura Ingraham that made even her eyes bulge out at times.

As is usual for a Trump interview, he rambled incoherently, spread a conspiracy theory or two, exhibited tone-deafness, exhibited a touch of racism, praised himself, attacked his opponents and the media, lied, and said a bunch of stupid shit…and yeah. He said a bunch of stupid shit.

Ya’ know, when Ross Perot talked about black helicopters in 1992, it derailed his presidential aspirations. Just saying.

But other than talking about “thugs on planes” either coming to Washington, or going from Washington (Trump couldn’t make up his mind), he attempted to justify police shooting unarmed black men.

Let’s be clear on one thing. Jacob Blake was shot seven times in the back while he was unarmed. Conservatives and assorted fucknuts keep saying he had a knife, or he was going for a knife, or he was dreaming about a knife, or he started rapping, “Life is a knife like slicing through the strife…” I don’t know. But he was unarmed. And let me remind you, he was shot seven times in the back. The guy could have had a bazooka and I don’t think the cops needed to shoot him seven times…in the back.

Donald Trump went to Kenosha, where nobody wanted him, and used it as a background to claim systemic racism doesn’t exist. Again. Seven times in the back. Also, white kid shoots three people and the same police force waves him off and drives right on by. Also during his stop in Kenosha, he didn’t mention Jacob Blake’s name once. So, if he didn’t go to Kenosha to work on race issues, why did he go? I’m surprised he didn’t start shooting paint balls at black people.

But the real crazy was during the interview. If you can make Laura Ingraham give a holy-fucking-shit-this-is-balls expression, you’ve accomplished quite a feat.

Trump was talking to Ingraham about how cops are “under siege” in this country. Maybe because, I don’t know, they keep killing unarmed black men. Donald Trump explained why cops kill unarmed black men. He said, “They can do 10,000 great acts, which is what they do, and one bad apple or a choker — you know, a choker. They choke.”

He continued. “They choke just like in a golf tournament. They miss a 3-foot putt.” Ingraham tried to save him. Instead of coming right out and saying, “please stop saying stupid shit,” she tried to give his next answer for him. She didn’t ask. She stated, “You’re not comparing it to golf, because of course that’s what the media would say.”

Trump dug himself in deeper and answered, “I’m saying people choke. People choke. And people are bad people. You have both. You have some bad people and you have…they choke.”

Question: Which is worse? Comparing police brutality and murders of unarmed black men to a golfer missing a putt, or the comparison to choking after it was the choking of George Floyd that began this summer of protest against police violence against black Americans?

Also, if they “choke,” then wouldn’t they miss while shooting at unarmed black men? Republicans, even their cartoonists, really suck with metaphors and analogies. 

Donald Trump is tone-deaf. Frankly, I’m surprised he hasn’t mistakenly, or purposely, in place of “bad apples,” used the term “black apples” yet.

We need a president who can understand a crisis. Not just identify a few “bad apples” and make a shitty golf analogy. And I don’t think this is asking too much, but also not spread crazy-ass QAnon bullshit.

There is systemic racism. It’s very real and it’s proven on video on a daily basis. The bad apples are the result of the problem, not the cause. 

Donald Trump isn’t just a bad apple. He’s rotten and he’s choking our country.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Kenosha


cjones09012020

Sometimes I’ll draw a cartoon knowing full well most of my clients won’t run it. OK, it’s more than sometimes I do that. But sometimes, you have to say something others are afraid to.

Usually, when a cop does something that outrageous America and the police have to actually accept what that cop did was wrong, they like to refer to him as a bad apple. But it’s not individual cops that are the root of the problem of systemic racism among the nation’s police departments.

When a black CNN reporter was arrested for doing his job in Minneapolis, the arresting police department issued a statement saying they couldn’t verify his credentials. Never mind the fact he had his credentials on him, there was a camera crew with him, and he was live on the air when they arrested him. It was not a “bad apple” that issued that lying statement. It was the entire department.

When a Buffalo cop shoved an old man to the ground, cracking his head open, the cop was punished. Fifty seven other cops resigned from that volunteer task force in protest of the punishment. That was not one “bad apple.” It was 58.

When cops murdered George Floyd, it wasn’t one cop who refused to arrest them for an entire week. It was the department.

Today, it’s the Kenosha Police Department that’s still refusing to arrest the cop who shot Jacob Blake in the back seven times in front of his children.

It’s the Kenosha police union, not one cop, saying Blake had a knife, justifying being shot in the back seven times. A knife on the floorboard on the passenger side of his car…when he was shot seven times in the back on the outside of the driver’s side of his car.

It’s the Kenosha police union, not one cop, arguing Blake was a bad man and a wanted fugitive, as though that justifies being shot in the back seven times.

It’s the Kenosha police who decided Jacob Blake was such a danger to society, even though he was handicapped from the waist down from being shot seven times in the back by a cop, that he needed to be shackled to his hospital bed.

It was the Kenosha police who tossed water bottles to armed militia men patrolling their streets, pretending they were there to protect businesses. It was the Kenosha police who thanked these militia men even though their chief said they weren’t wanted.

It was Kenosha police who thanked and gave water to a white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante.

It was Kenosha police who decided to drive past that white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante after he had shot three people and killed two of them. It was Kenosha police who decided to let him go without question despite bystanders screaming at them that the white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante had just murdered someone.

It was the chief of police who defended that murdering white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante by saying he was “resolving” a problem.

It’s a white president refusing to say anything critical about that murdering white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante while he continues to call peaceful protesters “terrorists.”

It’s white Trump supporters and Fox News glorifying and defending that murdering white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante.

It’s white Trump supporters and Fox News glorifying and defending a terrorist.

The Kenosha Police Department has a LOT of explaining to do. America’s police departments have a LOT of explaining to do.

And in honor of Chadwick Boseman, Wakanda forever!

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Kenosha Commotion


cjones08292020

With a cult following as stupid, racist, and reactionary as Donald Trump’s, it’s very dangerous when he encourages division and violence. Donald Trump telegraphs his people to incite violence and other times, he’s not saying it clear.

Jacob Blake, a 29-year-old black man was shot in the back at least seven times by the Kenosha, Wisconsin Police Department. For you Trump cultists out there, it doesn’t matter if he had a criminal history. It doesn’t matter if there was a warrant for his arrest. It doesn’t matter if he resisted arrest. Police do not have the right to use lethal force on unarmed people who aren’t posing a threat. The cops shot him in front of children.

For the past few days, there have been protests in Kenosha. Yes, there has been violence and destruction. Now, inject white gun-toting militia men posing as vigilantes and you have a recipe for a disaster. What does this have to do with Donald Trump? Everything.

Last night during the Trump hate convention, I only heard Jacob Blake’s name once. Melania mentioned unrest in the streets but all she said about that was an acknowledgement of it.

Also from last night, armed militia men took to the streets in Kenosha, killed two people and injured at least one. There is a video of a white man running down the street with an AR-15 type weapon, who stops, turns, and starts shooting at protesters. There are reports that when he ran by cops, he put his arms in the air to surrender, and they cops ignored him and let him go. This is why there are riots.

When police apprehended George Floyd for trying to cash a counterfeit $20 bill, they killed him. When they apprehended Eric Garner for selling loose cigarettes, they killed him. They killed Breonna Taylor while she was in bed and they were looking for someone else. When they captured white shooter Dylann Roof who had just executed nine black people in a church, the cops took him to Burger King. And when they see a white man running down the street right after he had shot into a crowd of black people, they let him keep running.

Can you start to appreciate why there are calls to defund the police? Don’t you see there are different systems of treatment and justice for white and black people?

And yes, Donald Trump approves of this. He instigated what happened last night.

Last April, Donald Trump encouraged armed men to storm the state capitol building in Lansing, Michigan. He tweeted to loyal base of racists, “Liberate Michigan.” He also tried to stir up violence in other states with Democratic governors when he tweeted, “Liberate Minnesota” and “Liberate Virginia.”

During this week’s convention, the hate and fear is widespread. Other than Melania, every speaker has promised doom and gloom if Donald Trump loses the election. They’re lying while warning the nation will erupt in violence in Joe Biden’s America. Why, the cities will burn in Joe Biden’s America…and to argue their case, they use footage from Donald Trump’s America.

During the convention, they brought out the gun-toting Missouri couple, Mark and Patricia McCloskey, who took to their lawn with weapons, she with a pistol and him with an AR-15 type weapon, to point them at black people walking on the sidewalk in front of their home. They claim they were protecting their home from the people walking down the sidewalk. The McCloskeys warned what happened to them could happen to anybody in America…..you know, any white person in America. 

The Republicans are making heroes out of this couple, currently being charged for pointing guns at people, for pointing guns at innocent and peaceful protesters. In bringing them out and putting them on TV endorsing Donald Trump, the Republican Party is endorsing armed militias to take to the streets.

In addition, Donald Trump is warning if he loses, black people may move into your white suburb.

The armed goons in Kenosha weren’t protecting anything. You don’t protect property by running down the street shooting at people. Many of the armed goons aren’t protecting their homes and businesses because they’re not from Kenosha. These goons saw an opportunity to walk around with guns to overcompensate for their tiny penises, to feel good about being asshole Republicans, and maybe if they’re lucky, get to shoot some black people. And ya’ know, the cops in Kenosha just might let them get away with it. How many black men running down the street with semi-automatic weapons do you think the Kenosha police let go last night? 

What’s going on in Kenosha is a result from a message of hate, fear, racism, destruction, and gun violence.

Donald Trump approves that message. What happened last night happened in Donald Trump’s America.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Suburban Dreams


cjones08032020

Once again, Donald Trump is telling his base he’s a racist while unconvincingly telling the rest of us he’s not. But, when someone like Donald Trump tells you who he is, believe him.

Last night, South Carolina Representative James Clyburn told Chris Cuomo on CNN that he couldn’t determine if Donald Trump hates people who look like him, but he knows Donald Trump doesn’t respect people who look like him. As Clyburn explained, you can hate someone you perceive is above you or on your level, but you disrespect those you deem beneath you.

Clyburn’s theory is a good one because Donald Trump has demonstrated he only respects himself and people like Vladimir Putin. In fact, he’s deathly afraid of Vladimir Putin. But the disrespect theory lines up with explaining why Trump hires black people and at least pretends one or two of them are his friends. When someone like Herman Cain puts his life on the line to cater to Donald Trump’s politicization of the coronavirus, that’s not something to respect. People don’t respect people who kiss their ass, even if it kills the asskissers.

The black friend defense for Donald Trump, and pointing out he put Ben Carson in his cabinet, fizzles when you point out Strom Thurmond slept with back women. Hiring Ben Carson doesn’t mean Donald Trump respects him. Donald Trump could be fucking Ben Carson and still not have any respect for him.

But if Donald Trump doesn’t hate black people (get that Trump/Carson image out of your head), he definitely disrespects them and is using racism as a wedge issue to cater to his racist base. As some have pointed out, he doesn’t care about the Confederate flag, monuments, or bases named after treasonous generals who fought against the United States to preserve slavery. For Trump, it’s just a tool. Why would a New Yorker care about Confederate statues? Even Queens resident Archie Bunker, who flipped out over the Jeffersons living next door before they moved on up, probably didn’t care about Confederate statues.

Last Wednesday, Donald Trump made an appeal to suburban voters, a group he’s losing. In doing so, he made a racist pitch in a tweet. Donald Trump tweeted, “I am happy to inform all of the people living their Suburban Lifestyle Dream that you will no longer be bothered or financially hurt by having low income housing built in your neighborhood…” He continued it into a second tweet, “…Your housing prices will go up based on the market, and crime will go down. I have rescinded the Obama-Biden AFFH Rule. Enjoy!”

Donald Trump is trying to save the suburban housewives of America by telling them to “enjoy” the lack of diversity in their neighborhoods. To “enjoy” their home prices not falling because of black people moving in. The thing is, they’ve already moved in. When you knock on that door, there’s no guarantee a white person will answer it. Donald Trump will be like the racist delivery guy in Next Friday.

Suburbia was the refuge for white Americans fleeing cities and integration. Why, there won’t be any black kids at your kid’s school if there aren’t any black kids in the school district (Oops. There was bussing). But today, the suburbs aren’t just white anymore. They’re also not just middle and upper income. Poverty has also hit the suburbs.

Donald Trump is out of touch with the suburbs if he envisions them the way his father did. The suburbs are no longer strictly white. They can’t be stereotyped like Leave it to Beaver. In fact, June Cleaver speaks Jive.

It’s understandable Donald Trump is out of touch with the suburbs because he’s probably never been to one. But he is in touch with trying to keep property values up by using his racism. Back when he was a private citizen doing his small part to destroy the country, before he became president (sic) and started doing his large part to destroy the country, Donald Trump was sued by the Justice Department for discriminating by refusing to rent to black tenants. The Justice Department sued him…twice.

Donald Trump is a racist. He’s telling white America he’ll keep the black people from moving in next door, or as he likes to say it, “the blacks.” But being an official white guy, I hear more complaints about assholes living next door than I do about anyone’s race. I can also tell you from personal experience, the best neighborhoods I’ve lived in have been diverse. America is now a place where it’s not just the neighborhoods that are diverse, but families are too.  Why would I worry about blacks and Latino people living next door when I have black and Latino people in my family? My nightmare would be living next to someone who flies a Trump flag. Ew. You know they don’t recycle.

It’s the emerging diversity of this nation that scares Donald Trump and his base. They believe their white privilege is in danger and as more rights are extended to people who don’t look like them, somehow it threatens their rights. Maybe it just threatens our privilege (yes, I have it too). What’s scares them and can’t be stopped now is in the future, white will no longer be the majority. We’re already at the point the only way whites control Congress is by gerrymandering and voter suppression. The only way someone racist like Trump can be elected president is through the racist antiquated electoral college.

Leave it to Beaver is not the representation of the neighborhoods of Donald Trump’s supporters. No, it’s the St. Louis couple on their lawn with automatic weapons because black people are walking by their house. It’s their defense of being in danger because pedestrians were black. That’s Donald Trump’s America.

In 2016, America showed us it’s a lot more racist than we believed. It was enlightening and frightening. Hopefully, 2020 will show us it’s not as racist. Donald Trump is betting all his racist cards that it is.

That’s because Donald Trump is a racist and the last thing I want is to live in a neighborhood full of Trump supporters. That’ll drive the property values down and really keep the good people out.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.