BLM

MyTerrorist


cjones11252020

Remember when that underage terrorist twerp Kyle Rittenhouse went across state lines to shoot at people protesting for racial justice in Kenosha, Wisconsin and ended up killing two of them? He just made bail. You may be asking yourself, “How did an unemployed 16-year-old right-wing militia wannabe terrorist come up with $2 million for bail?”. You can thank the MyPillow guy and actor Ricky Schroder.

Rittenhouse’s lawyer tweeted, “KYLE RITTENHOUSE IS OUT OF JAIL! God bless ALL who donated to help #FightBack raise required $2M cash bail. Special thanks to Actor Ricky Schroder @rickyshroder1 & Mike Lindell @realMikeLindell for putting us over the top. Kyle is SAFE. Thanks to ALL who helped this boy.”

I know all this time you’ve been as concerned as I have about the safety of Kyle Motherfucking Rittenhouse. Oh, I hope jail treated him nicely. I hope the food wasn’t too horrible. I’m sure the pillow wasn’t as comfy as an $80 MyPillow…or from what I’ve gathered from online reviews…maybe it was.

Anyway, this underage terrorist who somehow illegally gained access to an assault rifle and killed people is out on bail and the child actor to thank, or blame, isn’t Chachi. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’at? Scott Baio’s stupid racist ass didn’t do it? Of course not. Chachi doesn’t have money. Have you seen him in anything lately? Fact: Scott Baio has had three sitcoms and I never watched one episode. I did watch Happy Days but that wasn’t HIS sitcom. And I know what you’re thinking. Scott Baio has had THREE sitcoms? I mean, he’s had as many TV shows as Matt LeBlanc who as far as I can tell, is NOT a Nazi.

In case you’re concerned that Ricky Schroder has gone over to the dark side…he only confirmed the information on…wait for it…Parler, the brand new online social media destination for racists and Qanon fucknuts claiming they’re leaving Facebook and Twitter because their conspiracy theories are being censored. Perhaps acting on Silver Spoons as a child left a permanent soft spot in Ricky for billionaire assholes. So what’s the MyPillow guy’s excuse? He’s a racist billionaire asshole. That’s not fair. Maybe he’s just a millionaire.

Mike Lindell overcame a crack problem and found Jesus. He also found Trump. What is it with born-again Christians being so supportive of anti-Jesus principles? Why are Christians so horny for racist policies that put brown babies in jail? Why are they so hot for policies that drug test welfare recipients, so if daddy did weed, his baby can’t eat? If you figure that one out, let me know.

I’m very supportive of Mike Lindell’s recovery from crack, but I think he’s still an addict. He’s addicted to orange Kool-Aid and like Chachi and Silver Spoons bastard who was in The Champ with MAGAt Jon Voight (I spent some time on Wikipedia this morning), he’s a cultist. And when Mike Lindell’s not pushing pillows full of bullshit, he’s pushing bullshit cures for the coronavirus. Lindell pushes treatment for Covid-19 that’s so stupid, only Ben Carson tries it.

People who go out and point guns at protesters are championed by Trump and his MAGAts. Case in point: Those scummy lawyers in St. Louis who were so threatened by Black Lives Matter protesters walking down their street, that that they interrupted margarita time to point guns at them…were championed at the Republican National Convention.

Make no mistake about it. Trump and MAGAts aren’t celebrating rich-asshole lawyers for wearing shirts with mustard stains. It’s the pointing guns at black people they like. Trump and Republicans encourage white domestic terrorism. Kyle Rittenhouse gained an automatic weapon illegally and crossed state lines to kill two people…and you haven’t heard one word from the president (sic) of the United States disavowing that. Donald Trump has actually argued that Rittenhouse was practicing self defense when he crossed state lines to kill people. I’m sure Ben Carson bought that bullshit.

Republicans argue that people should take up automatic weapons and defend their homes from black people walking in front of it, but Rittenhouse wasn’t even in his own state, less enough his “home.”

Kyle Rittenhouse, who was too young to possess an automatic weapon, took an automatic weapon across state lines, joined militia goobers in parading around Kenosha pretending to defend businesses, where not one person stopped to say, “Hey…is that kid old enough to be stomping around here with an automatic weapon?”. Instead, cops gave him bottles of water. Instead, after shooting people and walking toward police cars with his hands up, the cops drove past him. No worried that kid with a smoking automatic weapon…he’s white.

In contrast, cops shot Jacob Blake in the back four times (they shot seven times but missed with three of them), paralyzing him…after tasing him…twice. Oh yeah. Jacob Blake is black.

The shooting of Jacob Blake is what the protests were over in Kenosha. Estimates put the property damage at around…wait for it…$2 million. MyPillow and Silver Spoons could have helped the community out more by donating to rebuild it instead of giving that money to a domestic Trumper terrorist. But no. They would rather make a martyr out of a killer.

I think giving money to a terrorist fuck like Kyle Rittenhouse, who’s probably going to be found guilty of murder by a jury, is almost as much of a waste as spending $80 on a shitty pillow.

Either way, it’ll probably be hard to sleep at nights.

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Watch me draw.

Wanton Endangerment


cjones09272020

Finally, after several months, a Kentucky grand jury leveled charges against Louisville police officer Brett Hankison in connection to the shooting of Breonna Taylor. Remember, cops busted into Taylor’s apartment, looking for someone who wasn’t there, and shot and killed her after her boyfriend shot at police. Hankison shot his gun ten times. The other two officers involved shot 22 times. Investigators say they can’t determine which officers killed Breonna (bullshit), who was struck six times. For this incident, Hankison was charged with three counts of “wanton endangerment.”

What does that mean? It means he’s NOT being charged for the death of Breonna Taylor, but for being careless. The three counts are for the three people in the apartment next door to Taylor’s which contained three people.

If there were over 32 shots from the three officers, and investigators can’t determine who shot Breonna six times, then why is only one of the cops being charged? I call bullshit on this entire thing.

According to the Kentucky statute, someone “is guilty of wanton endangerment in the first degree when, under circumstances manifesting extreme indifference to the value of human life, he wantonly engages in conduct which creates a substantial danger of death or serious physical injury to another person.” Uh, he didn’t just create “substantial danger” or “physical injury.” The cop…or cops in this case, KILLED a person. They killed an innocent person.

For this, the cop may serve up to five years in jail for each count. The minimum is one. So, if the cop gets the minimum charge at three years, then he’ll probably end up serving less than half that time. At least that’s the way I understand but I’ll accept a correction if there is one.

Wanton endangerment is a Class D felony, the lowest of four classes of felonies. It’s almost like three cops went into the wrong apartment, without knocking or serving a warrant, shot up the place, killed Taylor, and got off with a misdemeanor.

Legal experts like to say prosecutors can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich. While grand juries are independent, the prosecutor chooses what evidence to present. What did they present to this grand jury? Yes, prosecutors can indict a ham sandwich, unless that ham sandwich shot a black person.

Kentucky’s Attorney General, Daniel Cameron said, “I certainly understand the pain that has been brought about by the tragic death of Breonna Taylor. I understand that as a Black man.” But he was involved in a typical white Republican decision. To the legal system, black lives don’t matter.

First, this shooting happened last March. It took over six months for charges? If a black man busted into someone’s apartment and killed a white women, do you really believe it would take a six-month investigation to bring charges? Do you really believe the most he’d get would be for damaging walls?

So let’s get some things straight. You can get killed by police for driving while black. You can get killed by police for walking while black. You can get killed by police for being a five-year-old with a toy gun while black. You can get killed by police for bouncing a check while black. You can get killed by police for passing a $20 counterfeit bill while black. You can get killed by police for standing in the wrong place at the wrong time while black. And now, you can get killed by police for sleeping while black.

Black lives matter. Even in Kentucky.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Hey, Hey, Hater Kansas City


cjones09152020

I know from the history of this website that I have readers who don’t watch football. I know. Crazy. I once had a reader tell me I should go into more depth to explain who Tom Brady is. But anyway, let me give the backstory to this.

Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs are racist assholes. There. Backstory done.

No? OK. I’ll provide more information.

In case you’re a Republican, Kansas City, where the Chiefs of the National Football League play, is in Missouri. It’s not in Kansas like Donald Trump believes. Seriously. But anyway, Thursday night was the kickoff to the new NFL season. While most game won’t have fans in attendance, the Chiefs allowed about 17,000 into the 60,000 plus stadium to watch the game. And during a moment of unity, the fans booed.

What? Who boos unity? Apparently, Kansas City boos unity.

Let’s get something straight here. To believe in unity is to believe in peace. To believe we’re all equal and should have the same civil rights, opportunities, and equality is not a crazy Democratic Party, radical-left, foie gras-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, long-haired hippy, commie ideal. It shouldn’t be political to believe we should all get along. It shouldn’t be partisan to think our children should live in a world where they’ll never experience hate directed at them.

After it was announced that in addition to the national anthem being performed before the game, that “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” considered to be the black national anthem, would also be performed, conservatives became outraged. How weird is that? If they weren’t told it was the black national anthem, they would have been fine with it. I’ll bet you a hairy nickel they wouldn’t have been outraged if the song being added was “Sweet Home, Alabama.”

Basically, these people are saying they’re done with the NFL because the league wants to be nice to black people. Donald Trump yells it’s why the ratings are going down.

Before, these jerks were outraged at Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during the national anthem and lied claiming he was disrespecting our troops when he was really taking a knee for equality and against racism and oppression.

Donald Trump, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement in the United States doesn’t believe white privilege or systemic racism exists and that anyone who does has “drank the Kool-Aid.”

But in Kansas City, they took it a step further by booing unity. When the players of both teams locked arms for a moment of silence, it wasn’t silent. The crowd booed. Conservatives aren’t happy with loud protests or silent protests. So, when can we protest against racism? Oh, never? Yeah, that’s it. Donald Trump teargassed a peaceful crowd for protesting racism.

The Chiefs fans didn’t boo kneeling during the national anthem. They didn’t boo a statement like, “Defund the police.” They didn’t boo a giant picture of George Floyd. They didn’t boo the organization Black Lives Matter. They didn’t boo someone saying, “Black lives matter.” They booed equality. They booed peace. You would have thought from the boos that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was singing “Say It Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud” while burning a pile of cheeseburgers and standing on an American flag.

But no, These fuckers were booing something anti-racist. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, we’ll keep our racism, thank you very much.”

Booing unity is like booing puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. Puppies, tacos, and sandwiches are awesome. Everybody likes puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. But then again, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement doesn’t like puppies, eats his tacos in a bowl, and only eats sandwiches from McDonald’s.

Last year, I was very happy for the coach of the Chiefs, Andry Reid. They won the Super Bowl and it was a long time coming for the old coach. I think Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the league and he’s an awesome kid. But, I will be rooting against the Chiefs this year. I’m not so much rooting against the Chiefs as I am against Chiefs fans.

You booed unity, Kansas City. What the hell is wrong with you to boo unity?

Boo, Chiefs fans. They’re a bunch of racist jerks.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Choke


cjones09052020

Donald Trump gave an interview to Fox News’ Laura Ingraham that made even her eyes bulge out at times.

As is usual for a Trump interview, he rambled incoherently, spread a conspiracy theory or two, exhibited tone-deafness, exhibited a touch of racism, praised himself, attacked his opponents and the media, lied, and said a bunch of stupid shit…and yeah. He said a bunch of stupid shit.

Ya’ know, when Ross Perot talked about black helicopters in 1992, it derailed his presidential aspirations. Just saying.

But other than talking about “thugs on planes” either coming to Washington, or going from Washington (Trump couldn’t make up his mind), he attempted to justify police shooting unarmed black men.

Let’s be clear on one thing. Jacob Blake was shot seven times in the back while he was unarmed. Conservatives and assorted fucknuts keep saying he had a knife, or he was going for a knife, or he was dreaming about a knife, or he started rapping, “Life is a knife like slicing through the strife…” I don’t know. But he was unarmed. And let me remind you, he was shot seven times in the back. The guy could have had a bazooka and I don’t think the cops needed to shoot him seven times…in the back.

Donald Trump went to Kenosha, where nobody wanted him, and used it as a background to claim systemic racism doesn’t exist. Again. Seven times in the back. Also, white kid shoots three people and the same police force waves him off and drives right on by. Also during his stop in Kenosha, he didn’t mention Jacob Blake’s name once. So, if he didn’t go to Kenosha to work on race issues, why did he go? I’m surprised he didn’t start shooting paint balls at black people.

But the real crazy was during the interview. If you can make Laura Ingraham give a holy-fucking-shit-this-is-balls expression, you’ve accomplished quite a feat.

Trump was talking to Ingraham about how cops are “under siege” in this country. Maybe because, I don’t know, they keep killing unarmed black men. Donald Trump explained why cops kill unarmed black men. He said, “They can do 10,000 great acts, which is what they do, and one bad apple or a choker — you know, a choker. They choke.”

He continued. “They choke just like in a golf tournament. They miss a 3-foot putt.” Ingraham tried to save him. Instead of coming right out and saying, “please stop saying stupid shit,” she tried to give his next answer for him. She didn’t ask. She stated, “You’re not comparing it to golf, because of course that’s what the media would say.”

Trump dug himself in deeper and answered, “I’m saying people choke. People choke. And people are bad people. You have both. You have some bad people and you have…they choke.”

Question: Which is worse? Comparing police brutality and murders of unarmed black men to a golfer missing a putt, or the comparison to choking after it was the choking of George Floyd that began this summer of protest against police violence against black Americans?

Also, if they “choke,” then wouldn’t they miss while shooting at unarmed black men? Republicans, even their cartoonists, really suck with metaphors and analogies. 

Donald Trump is tone-deaf. Frankly, I’m surprised he hasn’t mistakenly, or purposely, in place of “bad apples,” used the term “black apples” yet.

We need a president who can understand a crisis. Not just identify a few “bad apples” and make a shitty golf analogy. And I don’t think this is asking too much, but also not spread crazy-ass QAnon bullshit.

There is systemic racism. It’s very real and it’s proven on video on a daily basis. The bad apples are the result of the problem, not the cause. 

Donald Trump isn’t just a bad apple. He’s rotten and he’s choking our country.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Kenosha


cjones09012020

Sometimes I’ll draw a cartoon knowing full well most of my clients won’t run it. OK, it’s more than sometimes I do that. But sometimes, you have to say something others are afraid to.

Usually, when a cop does something that outrageous America and the police have to actually accept what that cop did was wrong, they like to refer to him as a bad apple. But it’s not individual cops that are the root of the problem of systemic racism among the nation’s police departments.

When a black CNN reporter was arrested for doing his job in Minneapolis, the arresting police department issued a statement saying they couldn’t verify his credentials. Never mind the fact he had his credentials on him, there was a camera crew with him, and he was live on the air when they arrested him. It was not a “bad apple” that issued that lying statement. It was the entire department.

When a Buffalo cop shoved an old man to the ground, cracking his head open, the cop was punished. Fifty seven other cops resigned from that volunteer task force in protest of the punishment. That was not one “bad apple.” It was 58.

When cops murdered George Floyd, it wasn’t one cop who refused to arrest them for an entire week. It was the department.

Today, it’s the Kenosha Police Department that’s still refusing to arrest the cop who shot Jacob Blake in the back seven times in front of his children.

It’s the Kenosha police union, not one cop, saying Blake had a knife, justifying being shot in the back seven times. A knife on the floorboard on the passenger side of his car…when he was shot seven times in the back on the outside of the driver’s side of his car.

It’s the Kenosha police union, not one cop, arguing Blake was a bad man and a wanted fugitive, as though that justifies being shot in the back seven times.

It’s the Kenosha police who decided Jacob Blake was such a danger to society, even though he was handicapped from the waist down from being shot seven times in the back by a cop, that he needed to be shackled to his hospital bed.

It was the Kenosha police who tossed water bottles to armed militia men patrolling their streets, pretending they were there to protect businesses. It was the Kenosha police who thanked these militia men even though their chief said they weren’t wanted.

It was Kenosha police who thanked and gave water to a white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante.

It was Kenosha police who decided to drive past that white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante after he had shot three people and killed two of them. It was Kenosha police who decided to let him go without question despite bystanders screaming at them that the white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante had just murdered someone.

It was the chief of police who defended that murdering white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante by saying he was “resolving” a problem.

It’s a white president refusing to say anything critical about that murdering white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante while he continues to call peaceful protesters “terrorists.”

It’s white Trump supporters and Fox News glorifying and defending that murdering white 17-year-old out-of-state vigilante.

It’s white Trump supporters and Fox News glorifying and defending a terrorist.

The Kenosha Police Department has a LOT of explaining to do. America’s police departments have a LOT of explaining to do.

And in honor of Chadwick Boseman, Wakanda forever!

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Kenosha Commotion


cjones08292020

With a cult following as stupid, racist, and reactionary as Donald Trump’s, it’s very dangerous when he encourages division and violence. Donald Trump telegraphs his people to incite violence and other times, he’s not saying it clear.

Jacob Blake, a 29-year-old black man was shot in the back at least seven times by the Kenosha, Wisconsin Police Department. For you Trump cultists out there, it doesn’t matter if he had a criminal history. It doesn’t matter if there was a warrant for his arrest. It doesn’t matter if he resisted arrest. Police do not have the right to use lethal force on unarmed people who aren’t posing a threat. The cops shot him in front of children.

For the past few days, there have been protests in Kenosha. Yes, there has been violence and destruction. Now, inject white gun-toting militia men posing as vigilantes and you have a recipe for a disaster. What does this have to do with Donald Trump? Everything.

Last night during the Trump hate convention, I only heard Jacob Blake’s name once. Melania mentioned unrest in the streets but all she said about that was an acknowledgement of it.

Also from last night, armed militia men took to the streets in Kenosha, killed two people and injured at least one. There is a video of a white man running down the street with an AR-15 type weapon, who stops, turns, and starts shooting at protesters. There are reports that when he ran by cops, he put his arms in the air to surrender, and they cops ignored him and let him go. This is why there are riots.

When police apprehended George Floyd for trying to cash a counterfeit $20 bill, they killed him. When they apprehended Eric Garner for selling loose cigarettes, they killed him. They killed Breonna Taylor while she was in bed and they were looking for someone else. When they captured white shooter Dylann Roof who had just executed nine black people in a church, the cops took him to Burger King. And when they see a white man running down the street right after he had shot into a crowd of black people, they let him keep running.

Can you start to appreciate why there are calls to defund the police? Don’t you see there are different systems of treatment and justice for white and black people?

And yes, Donald Trump approves of this. He instigated what happened last night.

Last April, Donald Trump encouraged armed men to storm the state capitol building in Lansing, Michigan. He tweeted to loyal base of racists, “Liberate Michigan.” He also tried to stir up violence in other states with Democratic governors when he tweeted, “Liberate Minnesota” and “Liberate Virginia.”

During this week’s convention, the hate and fear is widespread. Other than Melania, every speaker has promised doom and gloom if Donald Trump loses the election. They’re lying while warning the nation will erupt in violence in Joe Biden’s America. Why, the cities will burn in Joe Biden’s America…and to argue their case, they use footage from Donald Trump’s America.

During the convention, they brought out the gun-toting Missouri couple, Mark and Patricia McCloskey, who took to their lawn with weapons, she with a pistol and him with an AR-15 type weapon, to point them at black people walking on the sidewalk in front of their home. They claim they were protecting their home from the people walking down the sidewalk. The McCloskeys warned what happened to them could happen to anybody in America…..you know, any white person in America. 

The Republicans are making heroes out of this couple, currently being charged for pointing guns at people, for pointing guns at innocent and peaceful protesters. In bringing them out and putting them on TV endorsing Donald Trump, the Republican Party is endorsing armed militias to take to the streets.

In addition, Donald Trump is warning if he loses, black people may move into your white suburb.

The armed goons in Kenosha weren’t protecting anything. You don’t protect property by running down the street shooting at people. Many of the armed goons aren’t protecting their homes and businesses because they’re not from Kenosha. These goons saw an opportunity to walk around with guns to overcompensate for their tiny penises, to feel good about being asshole Republicans, and maybe if they’re lucky, get to shoot some black people. And ya’ know, the cops in Kenosha just might let them get away with it. How many black men running down the street with semi-automatic weapons do you think the Kenosha police let go last night? 

What’s going on in Kenosha is a result from a message of hate, fear, racism, destruction, and gun violence.

Donald Trump approves that message. What happened last night happened in Donald Trump’s America.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Suburban Dreams


cjones08032020

Once again, Donald Trump is telling his base he’s a racist while unconvincingly telling the rest of us he’s not. But, when someone like Donald Trump tells you who he is, believe him.

Last night, South Carolina Representative James Clyburn told Chris Cuomo on CNN that he couldn’t determine if Donald Trump hates people who look like him, but he knows Donald Trump doesn’t respect people who look like him. As Clyburn explained, you can hate someone you perceive is above you or on your level, but you disrespect those you deem beneath you.

Clyburn’s theory is a good one because Donald Trump has demonstrated he only respects himself and people like Vladimir Putin. In fact, he’s deathly afraid of Vladimir Putin. But the disrespect theory lines up with explaining why Trump hires black people and at least pretends one or two of them are his friends. When someone like Herman Cain puts his life on the line to cater to Donald Trump’s politicization of the coronavirus, that’s not something to respect. People don’t respect people who kiss their ass, even if it kills the asskissers.

The black friend defense for Donald Trump, and pointing out he put Ben Carson in his cabinet, fizzles when you point out Strom Thurmond slept with back women. Hiring Ben Carson doesn’t mean Donald Trump respects him. Donald Trump could be fucking Ben Carson and still not have any respect for him.

But if Donald Trump doesn’t hate black people (get that Trump/Carson image out of your head), he definitely disrespects them and is using racism as a wedge issue to cater to his racist base. As some have pointed out, he doesn’t care about the Confederate flag, monuments, or bases named after treasonous generals who fought against the United States to preserve slavery. For Trump, it’s just a tool. Why would a New Yorker care about Confederate statues? Even Queens resident Archie Bunker, who flipped out over the Jeffersons living next door before they moved on up, probably didn’t care about Confederate statues.

Last Wednesday, Donald Trump made an appeal to suburban voters, a group he’s losing. In doing so, he made a racist pitch in a tweet. Donald Trump tweeted, “I am happy to inform all of the people living their Suburban Lifestyle Dream that you will no longer be bothered or financially hurt by having low income housing built in your neighborhood…” He continued it into a second tweet, “…Your housing prices will go up based on the market, and crime will go down. I have rescinded the Obama-Biden AFFH Rule. Enjoy!”

Donald Trump is trying to save the suburban housewives of America by telling them to “enjoy” the lack of diversity in their neighborhoods. To “enjoy” their home prices not falling because of black people moving in. The thing is, they’ve already moved in. When you knock on that door, there’s no guarantee a white person will answer it. Donald Trump will be like the racist delivery guy in Next Friday.

Suburbia was the refuge for white Americans fleeing cities and integration. Why, there won’t be any black kids at your kid’s school if there aren’t any black kids in the school district (Oops. There was bussing). But today, the suburbs aren’t just white anymore. They’re also not just middle and upper income. Poverty has also hit the suburbs.

Donald Trump is out of touch with the suburbs if he envisions them the way his father did. The suburbs are no longer strictly white. They can’t be stereotyped like Leave it to Beaver. In fact, June Cleaver speaks Jive.

It’s understandable Donald Trump is out of touch with the suburbs because he’s probably never been to one. But he is in touch with trying to keep property values up by using his racism. Back when he was a private citizen doing his small part to destroy the country, before he became president (sic) and started doing his large part to destroy the country, Donald Trump was sued by the Justice Department for discriminating by refusing to rent to black tenants. The Justice Department sued him…twice.

Donald Trump is a racist. He’s telling white America he’ll keep the black people from moving in next door, or as he likes to say it, “the blacks.” But being an official white guy, I hear more complaints about assholes living next door than I do about anyone’s race. I can also tell you from personal experience, the best neighborhoods I’ve lived in have been diverse. America is now a place where it’s not just the neighborhoods that are diverse, but families are too.  Why would I worry about blacks and Latino people living next door when I have black and Latino people in my family? My nightmare would be living next to someone who flies a Trump flag. Ew. You know they don’t recycle.

It’s the emerging diversity of this nation that scares Donald Trump and his base. They believe their white privilege is in danger and as more rights are extended to people who don’t look like them, somehow it threatens their rights. Maybe it just threatens our privilege (yes, I have it too). What’s scares them and can’t be stopped now is in the future, white will no longer be the majority. We’re already at the point the only way whites control Congress is by gerrymandering and voter suppression. The only way someone racist like Trump can be elected president is through the racist antiquated electoral college.

Leave it to Beaver is not the representation of the neighborhoods of Donald Trump’s supporters. No, it’s the St. Louis couple on their lawn with automatic weapons because black people are walking by their house. It’s their defense of being in danger because pedestrians were black. That’s Donald Trump’s America.

In 2016, America showed us it’s a lot more racist than we believed. It was enlightening and frightening. Hopefully, 2020 will show us it’s not as racist. Donald Trump is betting all his racist cards that it is.

That’s because Donald Trump is a racist and the last thing I want is to live in a neighborhood full of Trump supporters. That’ll drive the property values down and really keep the good people out.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Did Mexico Pay For It?


CNN06072020
Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.
Nope. Mexico did NOT pay for it.
Donald Trump ran on a racist xenophobic campaign of building a wall to keep people from south of the U.S. border from entering our country. The only wall he’s completed is one around the White House to protect him from Amerian citizens.
According to people who have done the measurements, there is over two miles of fence and concrete traffic stops surrounding the White House. Right now, there aren’t just Secret Service members protecting the White House and the president (sic). There are members of America’s military on the grounds…and Donald Trump wants more. Last Monday, he teargassed peaceful protesters so he could walk across the street for a photo-op.
Donald Trump teargassed protesters and the not-so-funny thing is, nobody knows for sure who ordered the gassing of American citizens. Kayleigh McEneny claimed the order came from Attorney General William Barr. Now, Barr says he didn’t place that order. If that’s true, then McEneny, who claimed during her first press briefing she’d never lie to us, owes us two apologies for lying to us. First, she said the crowd wasn’t teargassed despite it being caught live on national television. Second, she may have lied about Barr ordering that teargassing she claims never happened.
But then again, Donald Trump never hid in his bunker. He was only “inspecting” it.
Here’s a tip, White House. When you create a lie, make sure everyone’s on the same page and stick to it. You know, like building a wall, we’re already started building it, and Mexico is going to pay for it. You know, lies.
And by the way, when was the last time you heard anyone from the administration talk about Mexico paying for the wall? Just like that wall around the White House to protect scared little people who live in fear, we’re going to be stuck with the bill.
I wonder, does President Obama even know he had a bunker?
Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump Is A Gas Gas Gas


cjones06052020

Do you know what Jesus didn’t’ do? Jesus did not do photo-ops.

A lot of politicians do shameless self-promoting photo-ops and grandstanding with religion, churches, and the Bible. But at least those politicians go to church and have at least read parts of the Bible. Hell, even I’ve read a lot of the Bible (I can’t claim I’ve read the entire thing). But Donald Trump, read the Bible? Why would Donald Trump do that when there aren’t any pictures of Donald Trump in the Bible? Donald Trump hasn’t even read his own book.

Donald Trump screamed over a week ago how he was demanding governors to open all their churches or he’d force them to open. When Sunday came, guess who was not in church but on a golf course?

Last weekend, while Donald Trump was tweeting about the “most vicious dogs” and “most ominous” weapons, he was hiding in the White House basement because there were scary black people outside. Last night, I walked with scary black people, and scary white people, scary Latinos, scary Asians, scary LGBTQ, and I gotta say, for a bunch of ANTIFA terrorists, nicest scary people I’ve ever met in my life. Donald Trump is a coward.

Donald Trump spent the week before mocking Joe Biden for staying home and being in his basement. So it was very funny that Trump himself had to hide in his. Reportedly, he didn’t like the impression that presented. So yesterday, a whole bunch of military trucks rolled into the White House grounds as though it was about to be invaded and Donald Trump gave a speech in the Rose Garden about being tough. How he was going to use an 1807 law, that was created to prevent Southern government officials from blocking polling stations from black Americans, to send in the military to fight protesters. Donald Trump said he will “solve” their problem. Donald Trump creates problems. He doesn’t solve them. And those National Guard troops are going to have their hands full with tear-gassing protesters and opening churches.

During his short Rose Garden address, he said he was an “ally of all peaceful protesters.” And then he gassed the peaceful protesters. Do you know who else gassed people? Hitler.

The peaceful protesters outside the White House in Lafayette Square were hit with flash-bang explosions and doused with tear gas by police and the National Guard. You could hear the booms during Trump’s little speech. And since he is a coward, it’s a good thing he wears adult diapers. The protesters were hit before the city’s 7:00 PM curfew. They were being peaceful.

Donald Trump then weebled over to St. John’s, often referred to as the “church of the presidents” because every president since James Madison has attended. The church basement was set on fire the night before. Donald Trump wanted a photo-op with the church and a bible.

Donald Trump gassed a crowd of peaceful protesters for a fucking photo-op. If you still support this racist, vile, disgusting orange shitgibbon, get off my planet.

One reporter asked Donald Trump if the bible he was holding belonged to him. Trump only said, “It’s a Bible.” He knew it was a Bible because someone else told him it was. Also, he knew because he can’t understand anything in it.

The bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington said church officials were not told of the plan and expressed outrage at the White House’s use of riot-control tactics on a generally peaceful crowd to clear a path for the president.

The bishop, Mariann E. Budde, said, “He did not pray. He did not mention George Floyd, he did not mention the agony of people who have been subjected to this kind of horrific expression of racism and white supremacy for hundreds of years. We need a president who can unify and heal. He has done the opposite of that, and we are left to pick up the pieces.”

She also said, “The Bible is not an American document. It’s not an expression of our country. It’s an expression of the human struggle to serve and love and know God.”

The Trump 2020 Campaign said it wasn’t a staged photo-op shortly before releasing a slow-motion video, despite him already being in slow motion, of Donald Trump strolling to the church to the music of Rage Against the Machine (I can’t wait to hear what Tom Morello has to say about that). They really do not get it. What are they going to play next, “Anarchy in the UK?” “What’s Going On?” “Sunday Bloody Sunday?” “Fortunate Son?” “You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Party?” “Say It Loud, I’m Black And I’m Proud?”

Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump. He was worried about looking like a coward. He is a coward. He’s a product of reality TV and the last thing involved with reality TV is reality. Just like reality TV not being reality, President (sic) Donald Trump is not a president. Donald Trump is an abject failure of a president and human being.

Donald Trump will tear this country apart for a moment of reality TV. Donald Trump has set the nation on fire and he’s happily watching it burn.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

 

Biggest Crime In American History


cjones05172020

Donald Trump has been on a Tweetstorm of late, even more so than usual. Even more deranged than usual. On at least one day this week, he tweeted or retweeted over 100 times. I’m a political cartoonist self-isolating with nothing to do but watch TV, draw cartoons, and eat, and eat, and eat, and eat…and even I couldn’t find the time to tweet 100 times day, not that I’d want to. But the President (sic) of the United States of America, in the midst of a pandemic, has time to retweet Rose McGowan.

A big part of the current tweet pandemic from Trump is conspiracy theories. Donald Trump loves him some conspiracy theories. His foray into politics was the conspiracy theory that President Obama was born in Kenya. That never panned out for him, as in proving it, but it helped establish him to racist America that he’s their guy. He’s still their guy as a lot of these recent tweets accuse President Obama of committing the “biggest crime in American history.”

What is this “biggest crime in American history” that President Obama committed? Don’t know. But it has something to do with President Obama committing a coup against Trump’s presidency before Trump was president or some “deep state” shit like that. Trump is saying everyone in his administration who helped President Obama attack Trump deserves jail time.

President Obama expressed concern the past weekend over the Justice Department just dropping all charges against Trump goon Michael Flynn. He also described Trump’s response to the coronavirus pandemic as “chaos.” This is what set Trump off.

In Trump world, a man who pleads guilty to lying to the FBI and had secret contacts with Russians in an attempt to undermine American foreign policy (that’s a coup attempt) should be let off. But conspiracy theories should send a man to jail.

So, what are the crimes President Obama committed? Shortly after taking office, Trump accused President Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower. You know that place, Trump Tower. It’s where Trump has a penthouse that looks like Goldmember decorated it after becoming a crack addict. It’s that place where Donald Trump gets his taco bowls on Cinco de Mayo. It’s where Donald Trump had his campaign headquarters. It’s where he jacked up the rent to the Secret Service who needed space there to protect Trump’s orange ass. It’s also that place where Donald Trump Jr. invited Russians into to provide dirt on their political opponent. But, as it turns out, President Obama NEVER wiretapped Trump Tower.

So, what are President Obama’s crimes?

First, President Obama is smarter than Donald Trump. President Obama is better looking. President Obama is cooler. President Obama is was a much better president than Donald Trump. And…people like President Obama a hell of a lot more than they will EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER………EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER…like Donald Trump.

President Obama never created a crisis. President Obama never had personal scandals. President Obama never conducted tweetstorms. President Obama never accused his opponents of being criminals. President Obama never called people, especially those in law enforcement, “human scum.” President Obama never legitimized dictators. President Obama never kissed Vladimir Putin’s ass. President Obama never downplayed a pandemic. President Obama never lost over 33 million American jobs. President Obama never lost over 82,000 American lives.

Mitch McConnell, that failure of a Senate Majority Leader, cried during an online chat with Lara Trump (really?), over President Obama. McTurtle Moscow Mitch said, “Clearly the Obama administration did not leave to this administration any kind of game plan for something like this.” Except, that’s exactly what President Obama did.

President Obama didn’t just leave a “game plan.” President Obama’s Security Council left a 69-page “game plan” titled, the “Playbook for Early Response to High-Consequence Emerging Infectious Disease Threats and Biological Incidents.” In fact, President Obama warned of future pandemics during a speech. President Obama said a global pandemic could strike us in five years. When was this speech? FIVE years ago.

Let me repeat that: President Obama left a “game plan” book for future pandemics and predicted FIVE years ago that a pandemic could hit us in FIVE years. Also, Donald Trump has been president (sic) for the past three-plus years. Ugh. The only obstacle for the Trump administration with that “game plan” book is that it has words and pages and requires reading. Reportedly, there’s not one pop-up or photo of Donald Trump in that book to get Donald Trump’s attention. Thanks, Obama.

Donald Trump howls that President Obama didn’t leave him a vaccine for Covid-19, despite there not being a Covid-19 in existence at that time. President Obama also didn’t leave a game plan to prepare for Godzilla and Martians. Republicans also cry President Obama didn’t leave a stockpile of medical supplies, despite the fact they were the ones who voted against and prevented him from doing so.

It’s funny. When the GOP complains other people didn’t help them prepare for the pandemic, they’re admitting their response is a disaster. When they complain President Obama didn’t prepare for them, they ignore the unfortunate fact they’ve had the White House for the past three and a half years.

When they complain President Obama didn’t prepare them for a pandemic, they’re admitting Donald Trump isn’t qualified to handle a pandemic. By their argument, President Obama should have realized, years before 2016, that a nutless orange shitgibbon would become President (sic) of the United States of America, so we better prepare for that. President Obama failed in not preparing the government to handle a racist toddler in the White House. President Obama should have prepared because obviously, leaving the likes of Donald Trump and Republicans in charge is like leaving the dog to babysit. Except, the dog probably wouldn’t throw the baby in jail and give all the groceries to corporations. Also, the dog wouldn’t be nearly as racist as Donald Trump and Republicans.

President Obama did prepare for a pandemic. Donald Trump did not. When Donald Trump was in the casino business, Donald Trump failed to prepare for the disaster that is Donald Trump. Donald Trump’s daddy spent millions attempting to bail out Trump’s failing casinos and now Donald Trump is complaining President Obama didn’t bail him out on the pandemic. But, Donald Trump still put his name on those stimulus checks.

Currently, Donald Trump’s case of hiding his taxes from the American public is before the Supreme Court. We never had that problem with President Obama because he never hid his taxes.

It is not President Obama’s fault he’s better than Donald Trump. It’s not his fault he’s smarter, cooler, better looking, is more accomplished, more eloquent, and has more class than Donald Trump. It’s not President Obama’s fault Donald Trump and Republicans do not know how to govern. Who knew a racist reality TV show host who steals from charities and bankrupts casinos would be a disaster as president. Oh, yeah. President Obama knew because he predicted that too when he said Donald Trump is “uniquely unqualified” for the presidency. He also made a prediction personally to Donald Trump when he advised, “do NOT hire Michael Flynn.”

When asked by a reporter what crime President Obam committed that qualifies at the “biggest crime in American history,” Donald Trump said, “You know what the crime is. The crime is very obvious to everybody.”

It sure is obvious. Just like Ahmaud Arbery’s crime was obvious to those two racist Georgia rednecks.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.