Bill Cosby

Cosby Goes Kavanaugh


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There’s a huge chunk of the 1980s where I didn’t watch any television. I was young, working, going out with my friends, and causing my fair share of mayhem. I never watched Miami Vice, Hill Street Blues, the A-Team, or even Alf. That meant I was way behind on The Cosby Show and didn’t catch up until the 90s when I was married and not causing any trouble.

But, Bill Cosby was America’s dad. Now, he’s America’s sex offender in an American prison for the next three to ten years. He’s going to be someone’s “puddin’ pop.”

Cosby’s spokesperson, Andrew Wyatt, who should seriously consider getting a job with Trump administration, said after the sentencing that Cosby and Brett Kavanaugh are victims of a “sex war.”

He also praised Cosby for being a civil rights leader, educator of men and boys (this is how you roofie), and said he was being persecuted like Jesus.

See? I told you that guy should get a job with Trump administration. He could replace Sarah Huckabee Sanders, or even Nikki Haley, who this morning said that the world leaders at the United Nations weren’t laughing at Trump…they were laughing out of respect for how “truthful” he was.

And, he could become Kavanaugh’s defender and explain that he wasn’t a virgin right up through college just because all the women fought back. Or, he could bring up Kavanaugh’s calendar and point out all the nights “not raping” was inked, not penciled, in on his agenda.

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A Cosby Sweater


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The man once revered as America’s dad was convicted Thursday on three counts of sexual assault.

The 7-man, 5-woman jury took less than two days to convict Bill Cosby for drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand, a Temple University women’s basketball operations director who is three decades younger than the man who used to appear in commercials with children hawking Jell-O. The conviction comes in a retrial of a 2017 case in which a mistrial was declared.

Though this conviction was for his attack on one woman, there have been more than 60 cases reported. This is a win for the #MeToo movement as it proves that justice is possible for old cases that were formerly buried. The Cosby case has inspired several states to extend or abolish the statute of limitations in cases of sexual assault. They should all be abolished.

Cosby has not been sentenced yet, but he’ll most likely die in prison if he doesn’t flee. The prosecutor argued that Cosby is a flight risk as he has access to a private plane. This angered Cosby, who made a career out of avoiding profanity and chastising others for it, to shout in the courtroom, “He doesn’t have a plane, you asshole.”

Cosby’s $1 million bail was not revoked which kinda surprises me. Faced with dying in prison, why wouldn’t he flee the country? Cosby’s net worth has been estimated at $400 million. After spending millions on his defense, he probably has enough to live out the rest of his days in a location like Mali, Andorra, São Tomé & Príncipe, Togo, Vanuatu, Maldives, Mali, Marshall Islands, or Micronesia, all nations without extradition treaties with the U.S. Each, much more pleasant and stable than a Yemen, Russia, China, or Syria. I’m listing these, not to give Cosby any ideas, but because I found it intriguing, it made me go down internet wormholes, and it’ll make copy editor Frank look them all up.

Cosby deserves to spend the rest of his life in an American jail cell, and not on a beach in the South Pacific.

With Cosby going down, maybe we can go from #MeToo to #WhosNext? I can think of a few candidates.

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Lawyering Up


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Even though Donald Trump has Marc Kasowitz as his personal attorney, criminal defense isn’t really his thing. His thing is losing cases where Trump sues someone for saying he’s not as rich as he claims, and settling with people who were scammed by Trump University. Wisely, Trump has been searching for a lawyer with criminal defense experience.

And being wise in return, most criminal defense lawyers in Washington have been saying “no thank you.” Why wouldn’t lawyers want to defend a very rich president? For starters, he often doesn’t pay his legal fees. In fact, lawyers who defended Trump in lawsuits from contractors suing him for nonpayment, have turned around to sue Trump for nonpayment. It’s not like those lawyers weren’t warned.

Another reason is that Donald Trump is the worst client in the world.

In the film The People Vs. Larry Flynt, Flynt, played by Woody Harrelson, tells his lawyer, “I’m your dream client. I’m the most fun, I’m rich, and I’m always in trouble”. Trump too, is rich and always in trouble, but he’s not as much fun.

Trump’s biggest problem as a legal client is, he doesn’t shut up. It’s like having a client accused of murder who tweets out “I am innocent, and didn’t kill him by striking a blow to the head with an ax. An ax with a blue handle anyone can purchase at Walmart for $13.95 at 3:00 a.m., $11.95 with a Sunday coupon.”

Trump is in his current situation because of his big mouth, or in his case, Twitter. His “better hope it wasn’t taped” tweet is why a special counsel was appointed. The man claimed he fired James Comey because of his handling of the FBI’s Hillary Clinton investigation, and then tells the Russians in the Oval Office that he did it to kill the investigation into his dealings with Russia. Just in case that wasn’t recorded, he told NBC’s Lester Holt the same thing, which was recorded. Trump has even pressured several intelligence officials to interfere in the investigations. He upped the ante of the investigation of Russian meddling to include obstruction of justice.

If bragging about doing the crime isn’t enough, the man is attacking those who are investigating him. It’s a huge surprise he hasn’t left a bag of flaming dog doo on Robert Mueller’s doorstep…yet. His aides and friends are even reporting that he’s considering further obstructions by firing Mueller.

Kasowitz has advised many in the White House that they don’t need to hire personal attorneys yet. Taking Kasowitz’s experience and legal wisdom into account, most of those people are ignoring that advice.

Vice President Mike Pence has hired a personal lawyer. He’s even started a Mike Pence super PAC. There’s only two reasons for this PAC and those are, either to pay for the lawyer or Pence believes he’ll be running for president in 2020. Perhaps you can contribute to the Mike Pence legal defense fund. Is there a line? You think he would have saved a few bucks from selling soul.

Even the lawyers Trump currently has (that came with Kasowitz) are hiring lawyers. A lot of people are saying it’s normal for presidents and those close to him to be hiring personal lawyers. It is totally normal…in Trump world. Trump world includes a president who accused his predecessor or bugging his office and once bragged during a debate about his supposedly large penis.

But there is hope for Trump as it’s been reported he has found a D.C. lawyer with experience in criminal defense to advise his case. No, not the guy who defended the D.C. Madam (he wouldn’t return Trump’s calls).

Bill Cosby’s current sexual assault trial is probably going to end with a hung jury. Trump’s case is going to be much more difficult to defend because he’s a client who won’t shut up.

I hope for his new attorney’s sake that he was paid in advance. If he loses, It’ll probably be left in a flaming bag on his doorstep.

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Jury By Jello


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They say a president’s legacy are his appointments to the Supreme Court. I believe that. George H. W. Bush has a shameful legacy with his placement of Clarence Thomas to the highest court in the land.

Thomas replaced a Civil Rights pioneer so it’s ironic he was the lone dissenter in a case regarding racial bias regarding jury placements. SCOTUS reversed the capital conviction of a black man from Georgia because the prosecution used its peremptory challenges to strike all the black members of the jury pool. Prosecutors actually made notes on the potential jurors who were black by placing a “B” by their names.

There are staunch conservatives on the Supreme Court and each of them voted to reverse the conviction, except for Thomas. Thomas argues that the case was one for state law, not federal. It’s kinda bizarre that the right to a fair trial isn’t an issue for the federal government in Thomas’ eyes. Thomas also failed to see any problem with excluding potential jurors based on race.

I believe in a fair justice system. Call me naive, but I also believe everyone deserves a fair trial, no matter how heinous the crime, especially when a life is at stake.

I don’t know if an all-white jury would help Bill Cosby in his upcoming sexual assault case, but I’m sure a bunch of Republican dudes who can’t provide the definition of rape, and who also like Jello, wouldn’t hurt.

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Trump Talks About Bill


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This is my last cartoon for 2015, or at least the last one dated for 2015. I might as well finish up the year with a sex and Trump cartoon.

I don’t really understand Trump wanting to talk about Bill Clinton’s sex life. Didn’t we talk that to death 20 years ago? Even then Clinton’s polls didn’t go down and it hurt the Republican Congress. At best, Trump can make people think Clinton did a lot of bad things with women…which they’re already aware of. He might actually increase sympathy for Hillary, which sounds unlikely but it did happen before. On top of all that, is Donald Trump really the guy that needs to talk about philandering?

Today’s news is all about Bill Cosby being arrested for sexual assault. You know, I think he did it. I also think he won’t be found guilty. Yeah, I know…50 accusers all with the same story. But a conviction is really hard without evidence or witnesses.

Short blog today as I have more work to do. Have a great new year.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Surfing With Predators


cjones07202015

Did you see the video of the surfer in South Africa who had a close call with a shark? The shark attacked his board and got tangled in his leash. The guy punched the shark and swam out of there at a speed that would have made Michael Phelps envious. Personally I wouldn’t have been able to swim out of there that fast because I would have had a stroke and a heart attack at the same moment.

A lot of people posted the video and pics of the attack on social media and the first thing that came to mind was “that’s not a shark…it’s Bill Cosby.” So I drew it. Anyway, it made me laugh and I thought it deserved more than a snarky comment on social media.