William Barr

Fat Guy In A Little Coat

“Fat guy in a little coat” is a classic scene in the great 1995 comedy Tommy Boy, a film with a lot of classic scenes. If you believe the Chris Farley/David Spade classic is just a bunch of juvenile sophomoric comedy you’re right, but it’s still a great movie. It’s one of those movies that fans can quote at a moment’s notice.

After having a few beers within a month of moving to Fredericksburg for a job at The Free Lance-Star in 1998, the assistant editorial page editor, James Lakely, put on my jacket and started singing “Fat guy in a little coat.” He wasn’t a fat guy but he was larger than I am/was, but he knew I knew that scene, even though we hadn’t known each other very long. He probably knew a goofy cartoonist my age would definitely be a fan of Tommy Boy. He was right.

When I draw a cartoon like this, I know a lot of readers won’t get it. You will probably have to be in a specific age range, somewhere between my son’s age and mine. My son was only five when the film came out, but he probably watched it as much as he watched Lion King and Toy Story.

But now, William Barr is the fat guy in the little coat. Barr is trying to put on the image of being a sober responsible person, the adult in the room, during the Trump administration, but this blazer’s not going to fit. He’s not just the fat guy in a little coat, but also a big fat liar.

It’s funny but a lot of members of the Trump administration are trying to repair their images after serving as goons for Trumpalina. There’s James Mattis, Anthony Scaramucci, John Bolton, John Kelly, H.R. McMaster, Tom Bossert, Cliff Sims, Omarosa Manigault Newman, Gary Cohn, Ty Cobb, Nikki Haley, Rex Tillerson, Kurt Volker, and many other assorted goons. Add former Attorney General William Barr to that list.

William Barr is another attempting to rewrite history and he’s doing so in his new book, “Memoirs of a Trump goon.” What? That’s not the title? OK, the actual title is “Big Fat Liar.” No, wait. It’s “A Goon’s Gotta Goon.” OK, last try. The title is, “One Damn Thing After Another. Memoirs of an Attorney General.” In it, Barr is trying to justify his tenure as Trump’s personal lapdog while defending all the lies he told and the bullshit he engaged in. Barr is trying to erase his legacy as Donald Trump’s groveling ass kisser and personal defense lawyer.

Even though Barr didn’t support Trump’s claims of the election being stolen, he did echo Trump’s lies about voter fraud before the election. Today, he’s still pushing the lie that mail-in voting was vulnerable to fraud in the 2020 election even though all the evidence points that it was not. A goon’s gotta goon.

In 2020, Barr repeatedly raised, without evidence, the threat that mail-in ballots would be mass counterfeited by foreign countries. When asked for evidence, he would only say it was “logic” and “common sense.” If we had a president in 2020 with logic and common sense, Barr wouldn’t have been Attorney General.

In Barr’s book, he describes several episodes where Donald Trump displayed erratic and manic behavior but doesn’t believe any of it disqualified Trump from serving as president. He even says if Trump is the nominee in 2024, he’ll vote for him again.

Barr told CNN’s Jake Tapper, “I supported his policies. I was very conscious of his personal failings, especially his pettiness and his temper when he’s not getting his way. But, up until the election, I felt that if you had strong Cabinet secretaries who are willing to do battle, you could keep things on track, and I personally felt that we did a pretty good job of that. But after the election…he just went off the rails.”

Unfortunately for the strong cabinet theory to work, you would need someone other than Donald Trump selecting members of the cabinet, or else you’re going to get goons like William Barr. And make no mistakes about it, William Barr is a goon. If there was an actual strong cabinet during the Trump administration, they would have enacted the 25th Amendment.

It was William Barr who took the Mueller Report, sat on it for two weeks, then issued a statement saying it cleared Donald Trump of any involvement with Russia’s meddling in our election. Today, Republicans are still screaming “Russia hoax.” But, the Mueller Report did NOT clear Trump and did NOT unequivocally say there was no collusion between the Trump Campaign and Russia.

Before he was Attorney General, Barr campaigned for the job by defending Trump’s calls to investigate and prosecute Hillary Clinton. He said the Uranium One conspiracy theory should be investigated while Trump’s Russia connections shouldn’t be looked into. He spent his casual hours attacking the Mueller investigation.
He defended Trump firing acting-Attorney General Sally Yates for refusing to enact Trump’s illegal and racist ban on Muslims entering the country.
He sent an unsolicited 20-page memo to the Justice Department that criticized the Mueller Report and included a section defending Trump’s firing of James Comey to get him to stop his investigations of Trump, Russia, and Michael Flynn. In case you’re a Republican, “unsolicited” means nobody asked for it. You know, like all your comments on social media and on this website.

Before Barr was made Attorney General, Donald Trump sought to make him his lead defense lawyer against the Mueller investigation. When Trump made Barr his Attorney General, he became Trump’s lead defense lawyer against the Mueller investigation.

As Trump’s personal defense lawyer atop the United States Justice Department, Barr intercepted the Mueller Report, which he had spent months attacking and downplaying. He attempted to speak for Robert Mueller.

Barr’s Justice Department labeled Obamacare as “unconstitutional,” even though the Supreme Court had already ruled on it.

While he was AG, Barr was held in contempt of Congress for refusing to hand over documents in investigations and forbidding Justice officials from testifying.

During the 2019 impeachment inquiry, Trump ordered Barr to visit with Rupert Murdoch in his Manhattan home. Trump was upset over a Fox News poll showing support for his impeachment (after he tried to extort the president of Ukraine) and was angered by a Fox News analyst, Andrew Napolitano, who was in favor of the impeachment. According to reports, Napolitano was discussed at this meeting where Barr was acting as Trump’s personal henchman. Do you still think Fox News is a news organization?

In 2019, Barr said, “communities that do not show the respect and support that law enforcement deserves, might find themselves without the police protection they need.” Then he dropped the Department of Justice’s case against the cop who killed Eric Garner.

It was William Barr who had the park and streets outside the White House cleared of Black Lives Matter protesters with teargas, pepper spray, pepper balls, cops in riot gears, cops on horses, and cops swinging batons so Trump could stage a photo-op while holding an upside-down bible. He claimed that pepper balls were not chemical irritants even though the product’s manufacturer describes them as chemical irritants. I mean, that’s exactly how they’re advertised. Later, Barr invoked “qualified immunity” before a federal court to protect himself from liability in a lawsuit regarding the Lafayette Square incident.

Barr was a big fat liar during his tenure as AG. In 2020, he claimed the Justice Department had indicted a Texas man for fraudulently completing 1,700 mail-in ballots. That was a lie. After Barr spread one fear-mongering conspiracy theory after another, more than 1,600 former DOJ attorneys signed an open letter stating, “We fear that Attorney General Barr intends to use the DOJ’s vast law enforcement powers to undermine our most fundamental democratic value: free and fair elections.”

Barr also claimed the Obama presidency had spied on Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign which was another big fat lie from the big fat liar.

In June 2020, Barr announced the resignation of Geoffrey Berman, the court-appointed U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, who had been investigating the Trump organization, Trump’s inaugural committee, and Rudy Giuliani. Berman was also prosecuting a Turkish-owned bank, and that nation’s fascist president, Recep Erdogan, had asked Trump to have it dropped.
As it turned out, Barr, the big fat liar, lied again as Berman had not resigned and said he had zero intentions of doing so. They eventually had to force him out.

In 2019, Barr claimed Black Lives Matter is a “revolutionary group that is interested in some form of socialism, communism.” He called them “bolsheviks” and “fascists.” Barr reportedly told federal prosecutors to charge protesters for attempting to overthrow the government and had other conversations about arresting the leaders of BLM and Antifa.
Barr supported Trump’s lies that Antifa was the greatest terrorist threat to the nation, while the FBI stated honestly that the great terror threat is white supremacist groups.

In 2020, Barr said liberals were “projecting” and “all this bullshit about how the president is going to stay in office and seize power? I’ve never heard of any of that crap. I mean, I’m the attorney general. I would think I would have heard about it.” I haven’t read Barr’s book, but I wonder if this detail’s in it.

Barr designated New York City, Seattle, and Portland, Oregon as “anarchist” jurisdictions, suggesting they should lose their federal funding stating, “We cannot allow federal tax dollars to be wasted when the safety of the citizenry hangs in the balance.” This is when he sent Homeland Security goons to help make protests more violent in Portland, Oregon.

Even though Barr later disagreed with Trump on there being voter fraud in the 2020 election, shortly after Biden’s victory, he sent a memo to DOJ prosecutors authorizing them to investigate “vote tabulation irregularities” before voting results had been certified, which was a reversal of long-standing department policy.

Barr even had the DOJ subpoena Twitter to find out who created the Devin Nune’s Cow account.

After several Trump tweets on the matter, Barr’s DOJ requested a lighter prison sentence for Trump goon Roger Stone, which made the four prosecuting attorneys resign in protest. Also in protest, more than 2,000 former DOJ employees signed a letter calling for Barr’s resignation.

After more interventions by Trump, Barr’s DOJ dropped all charges against Michael Flynn for lying to the FBI. Later, Trump pardoned both goons, Stone and Flynn, who were both free to help organize the January 6, 2021 attack on the Capitol building.

There’s more…a lot more. Now, Barr says Trump is “not my idea of a president” because of his “pettiness” and “obnoxious behavior.” In return, Trump says Barr is a “big disappointment” and that he’s “slow.” But the summation is: Barr can try to rewrite history as much as he wants, but he was and will always be remembered as a Trump goon. He’s a fat guy in a little coat.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Bull By Barr

Cjones07052021

In The Big Lebowski, The Stranger played by Sam Elliott says to The Dude, “Sometimes you bite the bar…and sometimes the bar bites you.” In the Trump era…and the post-Trump era, sometimes the Barr gives you bullshit.

As Oliver Sykes said, “The only person to blame is the person making up the bullshit.” William Barr can’t blame Trump for his own bullshit.

On December, 20, William Barr, who was at that time still Trump’s Attorney General, issued a public statement saying, “to date, we have not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election.” He used, “To date,” as if some fraud might turn up. Two days later, he resigned.

Now, Barr believes all of Trump’s election fraud claims were “bullshit.” William Barr is absolutely correct. Donald Trump’s election fraud claims, and the Big Lie he won, or that he’ll be reinstated in August, are total and compete bullshit. What William Barr is leaving out during these attempts to rehabilitate his image, like Javanka, is that he was complicit. William Barr was the chief shoveler of Trump bullshit. And in the process, he shit out a lot of shit himself. Barr was a walking, OK, weebling, human fertilizer factory.

Shortly after the election Trump lost, Barr authorized the Justice Department to open election fraud investigations, even though the election hadn’t been certified yet. And before the election, he helped Trump build doubt and suspicion that the election would be full of fraud.

The reason Donald Trump wanted everyone to have doubts on the election was because he expected to lose. He even refused to say if he’d cooperate with a peaceful transfer of power if he lost. He expected to lose in 2016 and cast doubts before that election as well.

The weeks before the 2020 election, Trump conducted a Twitter blitz of bullshit. He tweeted, “Tremendous potential for voter fraud,” “RIPE for FRAUD”, and, “Shouldn’t be allowed,” “Mail in ballots substantially increases the risk of crime and VOTER FRAUD!,” and. “No mail ballots, they cheat.” At a press conference, he said, “People cheat. Mail ballots are a very dangerous thing for this country because they are cheaters.” Are the voters cheaters or are the ballots the ones cheating?

You can’t trust those mail ballots. They vape, will impregnate your daughter, feed your cat the cheap dry food, clog your toilet, etc.

Barr, being more of Trump’s hatchet goon than the Attorney General, picked up on Trump’s bullshit. He warned mail-in ballots present “so many occasions for fraud there that cannot be policed. I think it would be very bad.” He also raised the “possibility of counterfeiting.” When asked if he had proof of this, he said, “No, but it’s obvious.”

Well, if it’s obvious, you should have some proof. Right?

Will Smith said in “iRobot,” “Sorry, I’m allergic to bullshit.” William Barr is not allergic to bullshit.

During a House hearing, he warned that foreign nations, except for Russia, could possibly tamper with mail-in ballots and produce counterfeit ballots. Democratic representative Mary Gay Scanlon of Pennsylvania said to Barr, “But, in fact, you have no evidence that foreign countries can successfully sway our elections with counterfeit ballots, do you?” Barr replied, “I do not, but I have common sense.” Do you, Willy? Do you have common sense? How about any sense?

In 2019, which would have included any voter fraud committed during the 2018 midterms, Barr’s Justice Department charged more than 69,000 federal criminal cases against over 87,000 total defendants. None of those cases involved fraud relating to mail-in ballots. Not one.

But, while talking to Wolf Blitzer on CNN, Barr claimed, “We indicted someone in Texas, 1,700 ballots collected from people who could vote, he made them out and voted for the person he wanted to.”

Wolf asked Barr, “”During your tenure as attorney general of the United States, how many indictments have you brought against people committing voter fraud?” Barr replied, “I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head, but several I know of.” So, how can Barr know of several but can’t tell you off the top of his head? Usually, when you know something, you know it. It’s not like Led Zeppelin songs. Nobody can name a Led Zeppein song except…..shit.

But as it turns out, his claims of 1,700 ballots being corrupted, and his department charging someone, was bullshit. His department didn’t charge anyone. The state of Texas did. And those 1,700 turned out to be only one. Barr is full of bullshit. As Sarah Marshall said in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

Later, The Department of Justice under Barr screamed about nine missing ballots in Pennsylvania that were all marked for Trump. First, if they were messed with, who they were marked for is less important than the fact they were tampered with. Second, if they’re missing, how do you know they were marked for Trump? Normally, the Justice Department doesn’t comment on ongoing cases, but this one seemed to favor the Trump narrative, so they commented. Then, those nine ballots for the orange shitweasel turned into seven. And then, we learned those ballots weren’t discarded…but placed in the wrong envelopes…which canceled them out per election laws. They were placed in ballot application envelopes by stupid voters. Maybe they were all Trump voters. But, nine votes wouldn’t overturn the Pennsylvania presidential election for Donald Trump. President Joe Biden won that state by more than 80,000 votes. In case you’re a Republican, 80,000 is more than seven. It’s even more than nine.

Then, Barr’s Justice Department announced that a postal carrier in New Jersey did a Newman and stashed 99 ballots in a locker someplace instead of delivering them. Where were they supposed to be delivered? To election officials after being cast? No. They were blank ballots on their way to voters. But, Barr gave Trump a narrative of election fraud in New Jersey that favored Biden…like Trump ever had a chance of winning New Jersey. Fuhgeddaboudit.

Barr didn’t just carry Trump’s water and act as his Roy Cohn (another corrupt lawyer) or his Rudy Giuliani (corrupt, drippy, farty lawyer). He blasted Trump bullshit to get the job heading DOJ, then continued after.

Barr went on TV and talked about how the Mueller Investigation was illegal, which got him the DOJ job. After Mueller finished his investigation, Barr sat on Mueller’s summary and issued his own…which was total bullshit saying Trump had been exonerated. Bullshit!

Barr also minimized and tried to drop cases against fellow Trump goons Roger Stone and Michael Flynn. It was weird he was getting personally involved in cases with Trump goons. Several prosecutors quit DOJ after that bullshit. As Elizabeth Taylor said, “I don’t have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.”

Barr sat before Congress and echoed Trump’s lie that the FBI “spied” on him.

Barr claimed Black Lives Matter was full of “Bolsheviks” and had the tactics of “fascists.”

And who can forget the teargassing of protesters at Lafayette Square so Donald Trump could do his photo-op in front of St. John’s Church with an upside-down borrowed Bible.

Now, William Barr is trying to cultivate his image. Was that his plan all along, to carry Trump bullshit until it was over? What was his agenda?

It’s too late Willy. We’re not buying your bullshit. Go sit in the corner with Javanka and sulk. You did everything in your power to serve a cult of stupid racist personality and to destroy this nation. You enabled a national security risk. Now, you want a medal for saying it was all “bullshit?”

I call bullshit on your bullshit. As Stephen King once said, “Money talks, bullshit walks.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trump Tower Of Spies

Cjones06162021

Remember when Donald Trump claimed President Obama spied on and had wiretapped Trump Tower, though he never did? Of course we knew then that Donald Trump projects. Whatever Donald Trump accuses someone of, it’s something where he’s actually guilty.

Donald Trump complained about Hillary Clinton’s emails, and yet, his own White House (including his daughter) used personal emails and deleted records. They especially hid evidence of Trump asking other world leaders to dig up dirt on his opponents.

When Donald Trump was accusing then candidate Joe Biden of engaging in corruption in Ukraine with his son Hunter, Trump was literally engaging in corruption in Ukaine. He withheld military aid from Ukraine in exchange for them to make up some shit about the Bidens. Rudy was oozing all over it.

Donald Trump gave Ted Cruz the nickname “Lyin’ Ted” (which was pretty accurate) and called Hillary Clinton “Crooked Hillary.” Donald Trump told over 20,000 lies as president and he was the most corrupt person EVER to hold that office. The man tried to put an international summit at one of his failing golf resorts. He attempted to force world leaders to pay him to attend. I can go over the long record of Trump’s corruption, but I don’t want to be here all day.

Trump called Clinton a “bigot.” Yeah, let that one soak in. When Clinton said Trump was “Putin’s puppet,” his witty retort was, “You’re the puppet,” and after he won the election, he stood next to Putin and said he trusted him more than U.S. intelligence agencies. Also, back to that corruption thing, Trump tried to bribe Putin (as a candidate) with a Moscow penthouse in a proposed Trump Tower. By the way, that’s illegal.

Which brings us to all the times when Donald Trump has accused others of breaking laws. Donald Trump should be in prison.

During the Russia investigation, he claimed all the collusion was between Hillary Clinton and the Russians. Yet, his dumbass son (the eldest) invited Russians into his campaign HQ (Trump Towers which was NOT being bugged) to provide dirt on Hillary Clinton.

Donald Trump was real quick to pile on whenever a Democrat, like Al Franken, was embroiled in a sex scandal. Yeah, Mr. Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy was all over it.

The Washington Post’s Philip Bump found that Trump’s top five insults were “fake,” “failed,” “dishonest,” “weak,” and “liar. That probably also means Trump doesn’t really believe he’s a “stable genius.”

Now we have learned that corrupt and lying Donald Trump, who claimed he was spied on and it was bigger than Watergate, was spying on his enemies.

Donald Trump publicly called for the Justice Department to spy on his enemies…and William Barr, the attorney General, obliged. Remember when then-Senator Kamala Harris asked then-Attorney General William Barr if anyone at the White House had ever asked or encouraged him to spy on anyone? Do you remember him playing stupid and dumb with his answer? He’s not stupid or dumb and he needs to testify before Congress again. Maybe before Adam Schiff’s committee.

We learned Trump’s DOJ spied on at least five reporters from outlets he despised. And, the reporters are just now learning this. Three reporters for The Washington Post, who were covering the Russia investigation, had their phone records seized. Other reporters from Political, Buzzfeed, and The New York Times had their emails collected and surveilled by Trump’s DOJ. On top of all this, Trump’s DOJ obtained CNN Pentagon reporter Barbara Starr’s Pentagon extension, her home and cell numbers, the CNN Pentagon booth phone number, and her work and personal email accounts. And, she just found this out last week.

We also learned the Justice Department spied on Democratic Congressmen and harsh Trump critics, Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff (who Trump liked to call “Shifty Schiff.” Just how “shifty” is Trump?). Hell, the Justice Department even subpoenaed Twitter to find out the identity of the parody account pretending to be Trump supporter Devin Nunes’ cow.

The Trump administration argued to judges to acquire these warrants, that they were looking for leakers. Do you remember the great big brouhaha over FISA warrants? Devin Nunes does but he didn’t have a problem with there being a warrant for his cow.

We never did get to see the evidence candidate Trump claimed he had proving President Obama wasn’t born in the United States, but since he does project…I think Donald Trump was born in Kenya.

I want to see a lot of these people go to prison.

Creative note: This is the very first cartoon I’ve drawn in Procreate on an iPad. Bear with me while I get used to it. For the time being with blogging, creating videos, and all my other stuff, I’m going to keep using my Surface Pro. But the actual cartoons will be created on the iPad…unless I give up before I can return the damn thing. I’m very frustrated at this moment but the watercolor alone is amazing.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Buy-Bye, Billy

cjones12162020

Donald Trump is going to spend the time he has left in his presidency (sic), which is less than 40 days, seeking revenge. Donald Trump will burn the world to right any perceived wrongs against himself.

Donald Trump claims he made it safe to say, “Merry Christmas” again, which of course is a lie, but the joke here is that he doesn’t actually celebrate Christmas. Donald Trump celebrates Festivus, that Costanza holiday that brings misery to all who observe it. And though this is the season, Donald Trump airs his grievances year-round.

And Donald Trump has a lot of grievances. He may hold the record for personal feuds. He’s tweeted insults and attacks to the most powerful leaders, like President Barack Obama, to movie stars, like Kristen Stewart. According to Trump, the media is against him and so is Hollywood, Washington, ratings, facts, polls, the Post Office, Amazon, Europe, Canadian cheese, and even Republicans who aren’t adequately sycophantic.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton warned us that Donald Trump would use the Justice Department to go after his enemies. He doesn’t hide things very well as he admitted right after that, if he ran it, she would “be in jail.” And he has used the department, not just to go after his enemies, but as his personal defense attorney.

His first attorney general, Jeff Sessions, was a sycophant. And although he was giddy and gleeful over separating families and throwing babies in jail, even he knew he had to recuse himself concerning an investigation into Trump and Russia. Sessions was the first senator to endorse Trump. He was on the campaign. He carried his bags. He wore a MAGA hat. So, recusing himself only seemed like the right thing to do. When his assistant appointed Robert Mueller to investigate Trump, Donald was livid. How dare Jeff Sessions recuse himself. He made it clear it was Sessions’ job to protect and defend him. Shortly after, Sessions was fired on grounds of not protecting Donald Trump.

William Barr, who was AG during the first Bush’s term (hey, he’s worked the same job for two one-termers), auditioned for the job on Trump TV (Fox News) saying Mueller shouldn’t have been appointed. After being hired, he told friends he was going to Washington to “save the Justice Department.” He failed. Oh, sweet Jesus, he failed.

He didn’t just fail. He failed in a big way. If he was jumping off a diving board, he would have hit the water with a huge belly flop that would have drained the pool.

When Robert Mueller was finished with his report, William Barr (who was his boss), sat on it for two weeks and gave a misleading summary of it to the public. Barr gave the impression it cleared Donald Trump and there was no obstruction of justice. The Mueller Report actually said there probably was and didn’t clear Trump at all. A federal judge said Barr “couldn’t be trusted” to describe the report and he lacked credibility.

If William Barr ever had credibility, he lost it the day he took the job working for Donald Trump.

Barr’s Justice Department later tried to shield Trump goons, Roger Stone and Michael Flynn. He ordered the clearing of Lafayette Square outside the White House, which was done with teargas, so Trump could conduct a photo-op with a Bible outside St. John’s Church. Barr actually had the Justice Department defend Donald Trump in court when he was sued by E. Jean Carroll for defamation after she publicly accused him of rape.

Where Barr fell out of favor was for contradicting Trump’s claims that the presidential race had been stolen through widespread fraud. Hey, if lickspittle Barr can’t even find enough to lie about it for Trump, there is no mass voter fraud. But perhaps what really pissed Donald Trump off is that William Barr didn’t announce an investigation into Hunter Biden, the president-elect’s son, before the election.

When Donald Trump fired James Comey as head of the FBI, his initial excuse was because Comey announced an investigation into Hillary Clinton before the 2016 election. The Justice Department is NOT supposed to play politics or get involved in elections. Trump has tweeted that Barr should have publicized the investigation into Hunter in order to help his and fellow Republicans’ campaigns.

Trump tweeted, “Why didn’t Bill Barr reveal the truth to the public, before the Election, about Hunter Biden. Big disadvantage for Republicans at the polls!” And even then, Bill Barr did get involved with the election (just as several other cabinet members and White House employees did) by warning that electing Joe Biden would bring socialism.

Bill Barr is a toad. But apparently, not toadie enough. But apparently obtuse to his legacy, Barr wrote a resignation lettered that slobbered all over Trump’s ass.

Barr wrote to Trump, “Your record is all the more historic because you accomplished it in the face of relentless, implacable resistance.” Jesus, that’s the kind of shit you say when you want the job, not after you’ve been fired. He also wrote, “ou have restored American military strength. By brokering historic peace deals in the Mideast you have achieved what most thought impossible.” That wasn’t even his department. Hey, save some ass-kissing for Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo.

Barr took kissing Donald Trump’s ass to new heights. On CNN, he claimed China and Iran were greater threats meddling in our upcoming election than Russia. He ridiculously stated that pandemic restrictions were “the greatest intrusion on civil liberties” since slavery. Having to wear a facemask, eating outside a restaurant, or standing six feet from someone is worse than slavery? I’m sure that’s a popular view on Parler, but from the attorney general of the United States?

Barr leaving with less than 40 days left only means that Trump wants to demolish as much as possible before he’s gone. Barr is not leaving to “spend more time with his family during the holidays.”

I have high hopes that Joe Biden will not use the Justice Department to go after his enemies. But I do have high hopes Biden’s Justice Department pursues justice.

I hope the Justice Department investigates Barr’s involvement and legality in defending Donald Trump and violating the Hatch Act in campaigning for him. I hope the Justice Department pursues other Hatch Act violations, like White House employees and cabinet members campaigning for Trump and holding the Republican National Convention with giant MAGA signs on the White House lawn. I want investigations into Trump issuing pardons during the convention for political props. Future administrations need to be told that shit won’t fly.

Five seconds after Joe Biden completes his oath of office on January 20, 2021, I want to hear an announcement from the Southern District of New York and the New York state attorney that they are charging Donald Trump and his corrupt kids on a multitude of charges…that is, if they haven’t been pardoned by Trump (which won’t affect New York).

Donald Trump was America’s most corrupt president. William Barr was more than happy to assist and cover up that corruption. William Barr will go down as the worst attorney general in our history. And seeing how Donald Trump didn’t return Barr’s loyalty, he may also go down as the dumbest.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (18 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Goodbye, Turkeys

cjones11272020

I’m breaking a couple of my rules with this cartoon. One is, I’ve drawn enough turkeys this year. The other is drawing a cartoon with a holiday theme that’s dated after the holiday. This is dated for Friday, which as you probably know, is AFTER Thanksgiving. But, I don’t make my clients embargo my cartoons by the dates, which means they can run them as soon as they get them.

But, I like drawing turkeys…and I like drawing Trump goons. And in my defense, how many more opportunities do I have to draw these people? Have you seen the type of people Joe Biden’s putting in his administration? Adults! How am I supposed to work with that?

In the Biden administration, I don’t see any inept son-in-laws wanting to create a back channel with Russia while taking loans from Arab kingdoms. I don’t see a daughter and her husband receiving security clearances when they don’t qualify. I don’t see a veep lavishing worship on the boss every minute while attracting flies. I don’t see an Attorney General turning the Justice Department into an agency that acts as the president’s personal attorney…which they did in going to court to block a civil suit against Trump by one of his sexual accusers. I don’t see a baby Goebbels in this administration writing policies that’ll kill immigrant children. I don’t see a goon going to prison whose sentence the president will commute. Say what you want about Hunter, but I don’t see a son in this administration as stupid as Donald Trump Jr. I don’t see a personal attorney spreading conspiracy theories outside a dildo store while his hair is leaking transmission fluid. I don’t see the president encouraging right-wing terrorists to shoot and murder protesters or telling them to “stand by.” I don’t see Nazis and Klansmen holding parades for this incoming president. I don’t even see hamburgers.

So, how much fun do I have left? It’s not like next Thanksgiving, when President Joe Biden is pardoning a turkey, I can compare it to him pardoning his goons, children, or even himself. Sheesh! What sort of presidency is this going to be for cartoonists? We have been spoiled by Donald Trump. With Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I’m going to have to go back to writing my own material. Dammit all.

Sure. Joe Biden has gaffes but they’re not going to make up for a president (sic) who tries to redirect a hurricane with a Sharpie, or asks about nuking that hurricane, or advises people to rake forests, or talks about windmill cancer. Joe Biden has never gone to a debate and talked about the size of his penis. Seriously, people…you left me nothing to work with here.

Maybe our new Secretary of State will scream at a reporter and challenge her to find Ukraine on a map. No? He’s not an asshole? Aw, man!

Maybe Ashley Biden will sit in for the president at international summits, or get a bunch of Chinese patents, or be investigated for tax fraud. No? She’s not corrupt? Maybe Jill Biden will say “fuck Christmas.” I know. Not very likely when you replace a porn model with a teacher who has a doctorate.

Thanks a lot, America. Sure. You saved the nation from a stupid narcissistic racist reality TV show host and his grifting, and now we’ll stop putting babies in jail and ripping families apart. We’ll save the climate, perhaps stop palling around with dictatorships, and start using complete sentences again…but at what cost? Did you think about the cartoonists and comedians? Did you not think about the satire? No, you didn’t. I hope you’re proud of yourself, America.

It’s not fair. Even the democratic goons Biden could have hired, Donald Trump took. I don’t even have a Blagojevich with this administration. Shit.

So because of all that, you get another turkey cartoon. You can’t blame me. All I have left is an administration full of adults to try to make something out of with my cartoons.

And the fact Donald Trump and his goons will never go away or stop tweeting. Never ever ever. I guess there’s that.

Update: I went back and added Michael Flynn after he was pardoned today.

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Coups For Dummies

cjones11142020

On November 10, 2016, President Obama hosted President-elect (sic) Donald Trump in the White House. Vice-President Joe Biden hosted vice-president elect (sic) Mike Pence in the VP residence. First Lady Michelle Obama gave a White House tour to Melania Trump. Today, it’s November 11, 2020, and instead of inviting the future president of the United States to the White House, Donald Trump is hiding inside his bunker in denial he lost. What makes this even worse is that he has enablers. These enablers are helping Donald Trump thwart democracy.

Republicans are pointing out that Democrats whined about the 2016 election. This is true. I whined. I didn’t like the results. I still don’t like it. But while I said the election was tampered with and Russia meddled, I never said any ballots were fraudulent. No Democrats opposed the transition of power. Today, the Trump administration is not allowing a transfer of power.

The Trump Administration could still pursue legal challenges over the election while allowing the process of a transition to happen. That would be in the best interest of the nation. Instead, offices are not being created for the transition, funds aren’t being released, and the next president isn’t even being given security briefings. These were all acts afforded to Donald Trump when he was the incoming president (sic).

The United States condemns leaders of other nations who refuse to leave office and give up power after losing fair elections. Now, our leader (sic) is refusing to give up power and is hiding inside his palace sending his minions out to help him stage a coup. Donald Trump has not been seen since last Thursday.

Mitch McConnell is supporting Trump’s legal challenges even though there isn’t any evidence of massive voter fraud. Lindsey Graham is telling Trump not to concede. McConnell and Graham both won their Senate elections last week but neither one of these two men refused their opponent’s concessions.

Ted Cruz says allowing the media to declare the winner is not how we do it in America. Except, he was more than happy to accept the media’s declaration of a winner in 2016. He was more than happy to accept their declaration in 2018 when he won reelection to the Senate.

When asked if he had congratulated President-Elect Joe Biden yet, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, whose state went for Biden, said he doesn’t have anything to congratulate Biden for.

Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana said, “We have got to allow our courts to hear these allegations of voting irregularities by the president.” You may as well allow the courts to hear allegations of lizard people running our government too because you have just as much evidence of that as you do of voter fraud.

North Carolina’s Thom Tillis was finally declared the winner of his race yesterday and he said about the presidential election, “Every vote legally cast must be counted.” Who says they shouldn’t? Who says they haven’t been counted? Guess what. Tillis didn’t stop his opponent from conceding saying, “Every legal vote must be counted” bullshit.

Isn’t it fucked up that right after you elect someone, that they make a pronouncement against democracy and fair elections?

Attorney General William Barr is releasing the Justice Department’s legal hounds to fight Trump’s loss in the courts. Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani is holding press conferences outside dildo shops claiming the election was stolen from Trump.

It’s funny Democrats stole the election for Biden while simultaneously losing the Senate and seats in the House. It’s also funny that it hasn’t occurred to any of these Republicans claiming fraudulent ballots, that they also have their names on those “fraudulent” ballots. If we’re going to wipe out who won the election, that should also mean we wipe out all those Republican victories. Should we wipe out McConnell’s, Graham’s, and Tillis’ victories?

Each government department is being told to prepare their budgets for next year as though the administration will still be operating. As if they’re still going to be in town and not all applying at Fox News at the same time. And Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, the nation’s top diplomat has said there will be a “smooth transition…to a SECOND Trump administration.”

What the fuck? The top diplomat or the world’s leading democracy is telling the world we don’t obey election results anymore. Pompeo said the eletion has not been decided. It has LITERALLY been decided.

Can you imagine the outrage if instead of conceding the election the day after, Hillary Clinton had refused to admit defeat, mounted legal challenged, and claimed the election had been stolen? Can you imagine if instead of inviting Trump to the White House, President Obama had refused to release transition funding?

In Michigan, Trump beat Clinton by 10,704 votes in 2016. In 2020 in Michigan, Biden beat Trump by over 146,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 146,000 is greater than 10,000.

In Pennsylvania, Trump beat Clinton by 46,765. In 2020 in Pennsylvania, Biden beat Trump by over 48,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 48,000 is more than 46,000. Now, Trump is suing to overturn the election in Pennsylvania.

As the counting continues, Biden is heading for a 306 electoral vote win. That’s the exact same amount Trump won with in 2016. How are they going to win the presidency by overturning one state without any actual evidence of election fraud? They would need to overturn more than one state. Maybe they can do it in Georgia where the two GOP senators are calling for their own Republican Secretary of State to resign because they don’t like that his count shows Donald Trump is losing.

This is banana republic type shit here, people. This is a coup attempt. Maybe people like Pompeo are just trying to appease Trump for now. Maybe Pompeo is a coward. He wants to appease Trump’s base for when he runs for the Senate in Kansas or even for the presidency in 2024, if Trump doesn’t. Or maybe, he’s afraid of being fired two months before he’s scheduled to lose his job. Trump is already lashing out and firing people.

Maybe people like Mitch McConnell, John Kennedy (not the good one), Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Thom Tillis, and Ted Cruz are all just big, fat ass kissers. Or…they’re trying to steal an election and are engaging in a coup.

I predicted before the election that Joe Biden would win…but I did not predict he’d take the White House because I was afraid the Republicans would try to steal the election. Even before the election, Trump said the only way he could lose was if there was corruption and voter fraud. Boy, did I call it or did I call it?

We know this about Trump supporters: They are all cowards. They have made their party into one of a cult. They put one man before their nation. They are putting one man before democracy. They don’t care if they turn our democracy into a dictatorship.

The Trump administration will NOT legally continue, but the resistance must.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Once, Twice, Three Times a Trump Voter

cjones09062020

Guess what. In the future, when nominees for the United States Attorney General are going through their Senate confirmation hearings, they will have to be asked if they’re aware voting twice is illegal.

No, seriously. This is another thing the Trump era has fucked up. William Barr, Donald Trump’s favorite Droopy-lookalike saggy jowl toad, said he was unaware if voting twice was illegal.

The background? Yesterday, while talking to fucknuts in North Carolina, Donald Trump encouraged his followers to vote twice. You know, cheat. Break the wall. Crap all over our Democratic institution.

For months, Donald Trump has been spreading fear about mail-in voting. He and Republicans keep telling us it’s impossible to conduct mail-in voting without fraud, unless of course it’s in a Republican state. Seriously. They also claim the Post Office can’t handle the millions of ballots.

The truth: There has been no widespread fraud in mail-in voting. And, with each example Republicans present, it’s an example of someone being caught. And, the Post Office can handle the millions of mail-in ballots. How do I know this? Because they do about five times that many every Christmas. From Thanksgiving to January 1, the Post Office handles over 800 millions packages. There are only 153 million voters in this country…unless of course, everybody’s voting twice.

Donald Trump said people in North Carolina, a state he’s in danger of losing, should try to vote twice. He said, “Let them send it in and let them go vote, and if their system’s as good as they say it is, then obviously they won’t be able to vote. If it isn’t tabulated, they’ll be able to vote.”

He summed up, “That’s the way it is. And that’s what they should do.” And if they do that, they will go to jail.

When asked by CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, William Barr, being Donald Trump’s toad, said, “I don’t know what the law in the particular state says, and when that vote becomes final.” The law in that particular state, and every particular state, says it’s illegal.

Wolf asked, “”Is there any state in which you can vote twice?”

Barr said, “Maybe you can change your vote up to a particular time, I don’t know what the law is.” Seriously? You don’t know what the law is? I’m just a goofball cartoonist but I know what the law is. Voting twice is illegal. Prove me wrong.

Here’s a fun fact, if you try to vote twice, you will lose all your voting rights. Let me dumb it down for Trumplicans: In the future, you won’t even be able to vote once.

Congressman Ted Lieu tweeted, “Dear anyone at the Justice Department: Can you please educate Bill Barr that it is illegal to vote twice. And it’s really, really easy to get caught since you are giving the evidence directly to the state.” I’ll add to that with a, “D’uh!”

It’s shameful that someone who has been Attorney General….TWICE (maybe that should be illegal)…has to play dumb for Donald Trump. It’s like those preachers saying they don’t know if fornicating outside your marriage is considered a sin in the Bible.

But then again, maybe William Barr was having a mini stroke.

I have a prediction. In this election, there will be multiple cases of voter fraud. AND…the majority of them will be overwhelmingly Republicans. How do I know this? These idiots drink fish tank cleaner and bleach when Donald Trump mentions it. Yeah, a bunch of these idiots will be trying to vote twice. It’s as easy to predict as it was that a bunch of biker goons would peddle out of Sturgis spreading Covid-19.

The other thing is…Donald Trump is only against voter fraud when he’s not endorsing it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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A Mythical A.G.

cjones08012020

The thing that annoys me most about Republicans who have joined the Trump cult is they don’t have principles. They’re all about reduced government spending until Donald Trump runs up the national debt. They’re all about patriotism until Donald Trump insults veterans and allows Putin to place bounties on soldiers’ lives. They used to be about family values until Mr. five-kids-with-three-wives-pussy-grabber came along. They can’t find a principled position to take a stand on. Today, the sycophantic Qanon conspiracy theorists for Trump warns us all about the deep state lizard people, but if Donald Trump appointed a few lizard people to his administration, they’d all be like, “Thank you, President (sic) Trump, for the lizard people.”

And who says Donald Trump hasn’t appointed lizard people? They were all about draining the swamp but didn’t protest against him appointing campaign contributors to ambassadorships. They didn’t protest his cabinet members gifting themselves at our expense. They don’t protest Trump enriching himself on our dime. They don’t protest foreign diplomats staying at Trump hotels. They don’t protest Trump charging the Secret Service for golf cart rentals. Hell, they were even against a president playing golf until Donald Trump spent over $300 million of our money on his golf trips.

Maybe Donald Trump’s deep state lizard person is Attorney General William Barr. Trump sycophants worry about fictional corruption, like Hillary Clinton personally selling our uranium supply to Russia, but they ignore the Attorney General being Donald Trump’s personal goon who has transformed the Justice Department into the Donald Trump Personal Protection and Racketeering Agency.

While testifying before Congress and declaring he wasn’t Donald Trump’s personal poodle installed only to be his Roy Cohn, William Barr repeated several bullshit Trumpian talking points.

William Barr used the Donald Trump talking point that cops kill more white people than black people. There are more white people in the nation than black people. Statistically, cops kill more blacks. William Barr went to college. He has a law degree. He’s smart enough to know the talking point he crapped out of his mouth was pure and total grade-A racist bullshit.

Barr claimed President Obama spied on Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. No, Obama did not. The FBI tracked a couple of suspected Russian spies who worked for the Trump campaign. That is not spying. If tracking on suspected Russian spies was spying on the Trump campaign, then what does that make the Trump campaign? It’s hard to say you’re not Trump’s personal attorney when your Justice Department, like Donald Trump, is more concerned about the well being of Russian spies than about the people investigating said spies.

William Barr repeated Donald Trump’s accusation that President Obama didn’t restock the nation’s stockpile of PPE, ignoring the fact Donald Trump has been president for over three years. After spending three years staring at your own empty closet, you can’t blame its emptiness on the guy who owned it before you. Again, it’s been three years. Are the salt shakers empty in the White House cafeteria? Are you going to blame Obama for that?

William Barr carried out Trump’s talking point that all Black Lives Matter protesters are violent which is why unidentified secret police are needed to invade American cities and teargas and hit Vietnam veterans and mothers over the heads with billy clubs.

William Barr repeated Trump’s claim he had “no responsibility” for testing failures which extend to Trump having no fault for the lack of any national plan to confront the virus or any blame for the death of over 150,000 Americans.

William Barr carried on the Trump talking point that mail-in voting was ripe for voter fraud…despite the fact he and Trump have both voted through that method.

Barr claimed the clearing of protesters with tear gas and goons on horses in front of the White House and Trump’s visit minutes later through the clearing to visit St. John’s church on June 1 were totally unrelated.

Finally, William Barr said “Antifa” about 98 times during the hearing. Here’s a fact for you: There is no such organization called “Antifa.”

Quite frankly, I’m shocked William Barr didn’t make a pitch to host the G7 at Doral and the British Open at Trump Turdberry.

William Barr can’t defend himself.  The only legal cases he’s personally interjected himself into are those that concern Donald Trump’s goons.

He’s fired U.S. Attorneys investigating Donald Trump’s friends. He overruled his own department’s prosecutors and has asked a court to drop all charges against Michael Flynn (who’s probably a Russian spy). He recommended a sentence reduction for Trump goon Roger Stone before Donald Trump commuted his sentence.

During the hearing, Representative Eric Swalwell reminded Barr that during his confirmation, he said it would be a crime for a president to issue a pardon in exchange for the recipient’s promise to not incriminate him. When asked why he wasn’t investigating Donald Trump for issuing a commutation of his personal goon Roger Stone’s prison sentence, which was granted after Stone didn’t turn on Trump and even bragged that he lied to protect Donald Trump, William fucking Barr said, “Why should I?”. Because you’re the fucking Attorney General, asshole, and Roger Stone told you explicitly he broke the law to protect Donald Trump who then saved him from going to prison.

It was pointed out Barr has never personally intervened in a case involving someone who’s not a Trump goon. He’s never sought to throw out a sentence or have one reduced for anyone who’s not a GOT, Goon of Trump’s. He also pleaded ignorance to knowing any details about why Michael Cohen was sent back to prison for refusing to agree not to talk to the media or write a book on Donald Trump.

William Barr is a Trump goon. He also denied systemic racism exists in America’s police departments. How about the Justice Department? Representative Cedric Richmond pointed out that when Barr came to the hearing, he brought his top staff which didn’t include any black people. Richmond pointed out that’s systemic racism. At the start of the hearing, Barr paid his respects to civil rights icon John Lewis. Richmond told Barr, “You really should keep the name of the Honorable John Lewis out of the Department of Justice’s mouth.” Later, Senator Kamala Harris said, “Bill Barr hasn’t lifted a finger as Attorney General to protect voting rights in America. He has no business speaking John Lewis’s name.”

Even when he was asked if it would be “appropriate for a president to solicit assistance” from a foreign government during an election,” Barr said, “It depends on what kind of assistance” before backtracking and saying no. You know what kind of assistance. The illegal kind. That’s the only kind of foreign assistance to a presidential campaign. I’m not even a lawyer and I know that. Another thing I know that the Attorney General of the United Freaking States doesn’t is that a president canNOT move an election date.

It’s hard to declare your independence from Donald Trump when you repeat Donald Trump’s lying talking points and act as his fat human shield. William Barr is a liar and a Trump goon. He’s as corrupt as Donald Trump.

Quite frankly, we’d be safer with the lizard people.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Back To Normal

cjones05132020

In 2009, President Barack Obama expressed his opinion about an arrest in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Republicans howled that the President of the United States shouldn’t stick his nose into situations like this and should just let the legal system play it out. How dare he.

What happened in Cambridge was the arrest of a college professor trying to get into a house. It was his house. He also happens to be black.

Back when an American president spoke honestly and with clarity, President Obama said, “I don’t know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts, what role race played in that. But I think it’s fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry; number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home, and, number three, what I think we know separate and apart from this incident is that there’s a long history in this country of African Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately.”

In 2012, after 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was killed by a wannabe Rambo for walking outside at night while being black and wearing a hoodie, President Obama said, “If I had a son, he would look like Trayvon.” Guess who got upset over that comment? White Republicans.

But you know what Obama never did? He never called the arresting officers or prosecutors “scum.”

Donald Trump, who unfortunately is the President (sic) of the United States, called the FBI officers involved in the Michael Flynn case, “human scum.” He also accused them of treason for pressing charges against a guy who was violating the Logan Act and attempted to thwart American foreign policy with a hostile nation that had just attacked our election. Michael Flynn was secretly talking to the Russian ambassador during the transition period between presidents. He was manipulating U.S. foreign policy. Then, he lied about it.

Are conservatives screaming for Trump to stay out of the case? Are they upset he called law enforcement “human scum?” These questions are rhetorical.

Michael Flynn is guilty. Like I wrote before, don’t take my word that he’s guilty. Take his. He pleaded guilty twice.

Two white men can kill a black man in Georgia, and not be charged until a video of the incident goes viral. The current president (sic) doesn’t have any comment on that but he has plenty to about the injustice being leveled at one of his treasonous goons. He said so much that his other goon, the Attorney General, drops all charges against the first goon who, let me remind you again, pleaded guilty twice.

With this pandemic, everyone wants the nation to get back to normal. For the two different justice systems we have in this nation, one for whites and one for blacks…it’s already there. In fact, it never changed.

Yesterday, Donald Trump called someone to crow about the Justice Department dropping charges against Flynn. He told the person on the other end of the phone call, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you see a lot of things happen over the next number of weeks.”

Who was Donald Trump talking to? Vladimir Putin.

Welcome to the new normal.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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In Like Flynn

cjones05122020

The Trump administration is all about bad examples, corruption, and hypocrisy (we’ll ignore the racism and stupidity for now).

According to inside sources, Donald Trump got “lava level mad” over his exposure to the coronavirus as one of his Naval valets has tested positive for the coronavirus.

The valet performs chores that bring him close to the president (sic), such as shining his shoes, laying out his clothes, and bringing him diet Cokes and hamberders. Donald Trump said he had not been around this particular individual a lot but that doesn’t matter if he’s handling and eating what the valet has touched and breathed on. That’s kinda like thinking you can’t catch it from someone if you don’t know them that well, which was Trump’s argument after a person in a photo with him tested positive shortly after the photo was taken.

Someone is not paying a lot of attention to the briefings from the task force he nearly disbanded.

A person close to the White House told NBC News Trump “became ‘lava level mad’ at his staff and said he doesn’t feel they are doing all they can to protect him from the virus.”

Donald Trump has yet to be seen in a mask. For nearly 40 days straight, he conducted daily briefings in close proximity with other human beings while they all shared a mic. He has even visited a mask factory this week without wearing a mask. He’s said wearing a make is something he “doesn’t see for himself” as it would be undignified while hosting dictators in the Oval Office. Donald Trump is afraid that being seen in a mask will hurt his efforts to reopen the nation, confuse the ignorant Trump cultists he’s encouraged to “liberate” blue states, make him look weak, and be used against him in negative campaign ads. This from a guy whose face is already a negative.

Because of Trump’s attitude toward wearing a mask, nobody around him wears a mask. When Mike Pence visited the Mayo Clinic, he refused to wear a mask.

Trump has presented a very loud message that masks and social distancing are not necessary around him because he’s a tough guy. So, hardly anyone in the White House wears masks or social distances. And now, he’s “lava level mad” that he’s been exposed to the coronavirus?

Boris Johnson, Prince Charles, Prince Albert of Monaco, the Prime Minister of Russia, the wives of Canada and Spain’s leaders, a high number of leadership officials throughout the world, and Senator Rand Paul have all tested positive for the coronavirus. Several people who have been close to Trump at Mar-a-Lago and the White House have tested positive or been close to others who have. It’s kinda amazing Donald Trump hasn’t caught it and that the White House isn’t a petri dish full of the virus.

Now (get ready for more hypocrisy), while the administration argues it’s not necessary to test every American and it’s not even important to ramp up testing to reopen the nation, Donald Trump and Mike Pence will be tested for the virus daily. In case you’re a Republican, daily means every day.

Since Trump does need a new valet and they’re usually military personnel, why doesn’t he give former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn the job?

Donald Trump is not good at taking advice, from Dr. Anthony Fauci suggesting we all wear masks and practice social distancing to President Obama advising him not to hire Putin poodle Michael Flynn.

Flynn, who was just not exonerated by William Barr’s corruption, is someone Donald Trump said could possibly return to the White House after pleading guilty TWICE for lying to the FBI about his conversations with Russians during the transition period.

It’s a crime to lie to the FBI and that’s what Michael Flynn did. He was close to the president, working in the White House, and lying about contacts with Russia, a nation hostile to the United States and from which Flynn had taken payment (and also lied about) in the recent past. Flynn is guilty. Don’t take my word for it. Take Michael Flynn’s word for it. He pleaded guilty twice.

And why was he being investigated? Because he was undermining our nation’s national security policy. President Obama slapped heavy sanctions on Russia after their interference in the election. Flynn contacted them to tell them not to worry about it and to hold off on reprisals with their own sanctions. Help in the form of a corrupt Trump presidency was coming.

Attorney General William Barr intervened in the Roger Stone case by lowering the prison sentence recommendation for that particular Trump goon. All four Justice Department prosecutors in the Stone case resigned and over 2,000 former Justice Department officials signed a letter calling for Barr’s resignation.

Now, the Justice Department is dropping all charges against Flynn after years of Donald Trump tweeting about the “horrible treatment” the former three-star general has received. Donald Trump likes to stick up for traitors, probably because he’s one himself.

Barr brought in outside investigators whose sole mission was to find fault with the FBI’s investigation. Now, in regards to Michael Flynn pleading guilty twice, Barr said, “people sometimes plead to things that turn out not to be crimes.” The Attorney General doesn’t know it’s a crime to lie to the FBI? And why is the Attorney General talking like he’s Michael Flynn’s defense lawyer?

The message here is: Trump goons don’t have to worry about the rule of law. While career professionals from the Justice Department will go after their lawbreaking, the top goon of the department will attempt to save the bad guys. All the convicted goons will receive pardons after November anyway, whether Trump wins or not. These are corrupt people, from Trump to Barr to Flynn to Manafort to Stone to Giuliani to the coffee boy.

When Donald Trump issues directives, William Barr follows them, from lying about the Mueller Report while concealing it, defending Roger Stone, to dropping charges against Flynn. It’s not the valet who should be social distancing from Donald Trump, it’s the Attorney General.

But, it is hard to social distance when you’re crawling up someone’s ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.