William Barr

Trump’s Dinghy


CNN06022019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

The new normal is that it was not “unreasonable” to ask the Navy to hide a ship with the name “John McCain” on it in order to avoid offending a thin-skinned Trump and that whoever did it had the “best intentions.”

In North Korea, they kill staffers who disappointed Kim Jong Un. In what’s becoming our banana republic without bananas, staffers are scrambling to appease our Dear Leader, even on foreign soil

Donald Trump attacked John McCain while campaigning for president. If you believe a man can say McCain was only a war hero because he was captured and that he “likes those who weren’t captured” can also be supportive of the military, then you might be in a cult. Donald Trump attacked John McCain after the election. Donald Trump attacked John McCain while McCain was dying. Donald Trump has continued to attack John McCain after he died.

Donald Trump is fighting a dead guy and losing.

Donald Trump is a 72-year-old man baby and in the new normal, it’s perfectly justified to patronize and feed his insecure little orange ego, even to the point of being an international embarrassment. That’s how Trump cultists and Republicans see it. It’s why he needs two scoops of ice cream to everybody else’s one. The president of the United States has to constantly be told he’s the most important baby at the party.

From telling Donald Trump a report that clearly says he’s not exonerated totally exonerates him from hiding a boat named after John McCain’s grandfather with your tiny Republican dinghy in order to avoid a Trump tantrum, Republicans have become nothing but sycophants catering to a pathetic, whiny, little victimized elderly man baby. For them, this is the new normal.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

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Mueller Speaks


cjones06012019

Special Counsel Robert Mueller finally spoke and what he said without saying it is that Attorney General William Barr is a filthy, sycophantic liar helping Donald Trump engage in a PR campaign to mislead the American people.

Mueller doesn’t want to speak beyond yesterday’s quickie press conference, where he didn’t take questions, or testify before Congress. He said his testimony is in the report. Fox News and Trump cultist Sean Hannity asked, “if his testimony is in the report, then why did he speak?” My answer to Sean is, probably because the report has been misconstrued by William Barr, you sycophantic dillhole.

Mueller didn’t come out and say he disagreed with Barr, but his statements contradicted his boss (his boss until he officially resigns from the Justice Department, which he says he is now doing).

Barr said Mueller’s conclusions did not include a determination of whether Trump had committed obstruction of justice. Mueller stated, “If we had had the confidence that the president (sic) clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so.” They didn’t say so.

Barr said the Special Counsel’s decision not to reach any legal conclusions leave it to the AG to determine whether Trump committed a crime. Mueller alluded to Congress to make the determination and that their impeachment power is the constitutional arbiter (if you’re a Republican, “arbiter” means decision maker).

Mueller was clear in that he never intended to charge Trump because of the long-standing legal opinion of the Justice Department that a sitting president can’t be indicted. Mueller said Wednesday, “The Constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting president of wrongdoing. Barr claims that in private meetings with Mueller, that Mueller said he would not claim Trump would have been charged with a crime if he weren’t the president. Barr stated last month, “He made very clear several times that that was not his position.”

One of these two men, Robert Mueller or William Barr is a liar. The liar is Barr.

The liar, Donald Trump, went batshit crazy this morning, and because he’s stupid, he inadvertently admitted Russia helped him win the election. Don’t you love that?

Trump accused Mueller of being “totally conflicted” and a “true never-Trumper,” as if that’s a bad thing. You can consider me a never-ever-ever-ever-ever-times-infinity-never Trumper.

Trump tweeted that he, “Had nothing to do with Russia helping me get elected.” That’s like saying, “I had nothing to do with the Russian hookers’ golden shower” before anyone told you “hooker” was plural (if you’re a Republican, plural means more than one).

Mueller explicitly stated that Russia sought to hurt Hillary Clinton and help Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. Trump claimed this morning that Russia didn’t want him to win and that they were trying to help Clinton. This defies not just Mueller’s statement but Vladimir Putin’s, who expressed he wanted Trump to win the election…while he was standing on the same stage with Donald Trump in Helsinki (if you’re a Republican, Helsinki is the capital of Finland).

Trump stated this morning that “impeachment” is a “dirty, filthy disgusting word.” No. what’s disgusting is the term “President Donald Trump.” No one becomes green from nauseation when hearing “impeachment.” It gives me a warm, squishy feeling that produces a glow.

Trump continues to claim he’s exonerated while Mueller stated that because of the Justice Department opinion, “Charging the president (sic) with a crime was therefore not an option we could consider.” In case you’re a Republican, that is NOT an exoneration. Someone tell Hannity.

Now, Mueller wants to go home without having to answer any more questions. That’s too bad. Mueller will speak before Congress and he should. There are still answers like, why didn’t you interview Donald Trump? Why didn’t you interview Donald Trump Jr? Why aren’t Donald Trump Jr, Ivanka Trump, and Hope Hicks in prison? Why didn’t you recommend charges like Ken Starr did to Bill Clinton? How is it even possible for someone as stupid as Donald Trump to have not killed himself yet from forgetting to breathe, let alone convince 62 million Americans to vote for his racist ass?

Mueller wants us off his lawn. I don’t see that happening any time soon. Mueller owes the American people answers for why he left us with a president who refuses to give honest answers.

Robert Meuller left an inept, racist, stupid, narcissistic, corrupt excuse for a human being as president of this nation. He doesn’t get to go home.

Mueller has ‘splainin’ to do.

Creative note: In May of 2016, I drew my first digital cartoon on my Surface Pro 4 (it was on George Zimmerman). Today, the 4 is retired and this is the very first cartoon on my new Surface Pro 6. This is kind of a big deal for me as my Surface has been, as my girlfriend puts it, an extension of myself over the past three years. I’ve drawn cartoons at home, in friends’ homes, girlfriend’s home (NOT plural), in coffee shops, restaurants, bars, hotels, and even on a train. I feel like I’m leaving behind a loyal friend. Let’s hope the new bigger, stronger, faster Surface is reliable and as good to me as the older, smaller, slower Surface. At any rate, they can both piss me off. The new one accomplished that feat within the first hour of owning it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

More Butt For Barr


cjones05282019

Once again, Donald Trump is politicizing the Justice Department, just like he promised he would as a candidate.

Trump has given Attorney General William Barr sweeping authority to declassify information related to the Russian investigation. This move frightens the intelligence community. It endangers sources, methods, and threatens to manipulate the intelligence that’s been gathered for political means.

You may have hopes that William Barr will push this new authority to the side, wanting to respect the intelligence community and not use his position to play politics for Trump, but according to Trump, Barr asked for this authority.

Trump has Barr investigating the Russia investigation. They and other Republicans are upset that the Justice Department pursued leads on people who were in contact with the Russian government and being useful idiots for the Kremlin. These people were in the Trump campaign. Trump has called the investigation treason. According to Trump, it’s unpatriotic to go after our nation’s enemies when they’re in close contact with Trump.

Trump has constantly attacked the FBI and intelligence community since coming into office and has not been subtle in calling for the Justice Department to go after his political enemies. In the future, we’re going to need an investigation into the investigation into the investigation.

Usually, the Attorney General would prepare a report on a matter and ask senior leaders at the NSA, CIA, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, and other agencies to declassify specific documents without harming the intelligence-gathering process. In this instance, he can do whatever he wants with the information without concern for who or what it hurts. He was given this authority by a man who gave Russians classified information in the Oval Office, obtained through an ally.

Trump is showing his ass. Currently, he’s in Japan showing our allies there his ass. These kind of moves, violating and abusing his power as president, are just a few of the many reasons his ass needs to be removed from the presidency.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Shave Your Toadyism


cjones05172019

William Barr is NOT acting as the Attorney General and is instead working as Donald Trump’s personal defender.

He deflected the Mueller Report. He held onto it for three weeks after he issued his misleading memo. When asked how Mueller felt about his memo, Barr lied and said he didn’t know despite having received two letters and one phone call from Mueller telling him that he didn’t like it. When I was a teenager, a girl’s father once threatened to shoot me if he ever caught me climbing into his daughter’s window again, but other than that comment I’m not sure how he felt about me.

Barr also quibbled when asked if anyone in the White House asked him to investigate the investigators. William Barr has engaged in a coverup and is now doing Donald Trump’s bidding, which is using the Justice Department to go after his political enemies.

The Justice Department is now investigating how the FBI conducted its investigation into Russia’s meddling and involvement in the Trump campaign. We’re now going after people for going after Russian spies.

Donald Trump promised during the presidential campaign that he would use the Justice Department to go after his political enemies. His first AG didn’t work out in that regard so he fired him to install a genuine toady in the position. This is where William Barr entered the picture.

Trump says we need to move on from the investigations into Russia. All investigations are bad except investigations into investigations.

We are now a banana republic without the bananas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Transparent President?


cjones05102019

For Donald Trump, claiming he’s the “most transparent president ever,” would be like saying you’re honest while stealing from a charity.

It’d be like saying you’re a great businessman and writing a book called “Art of the Deal” during a decade of losing over a billion dollars.

It’d be like saying, “I’m the least racist person ever” while building a racist vanity project to keep out brown people.”

It’d be like attacking a Congresswoman for antisemitism after you’ve retweeted Nazis.

It’d be like complaining about undocumented workers after you’ve hired undocumented workers.

It’d be like attacking Democrats for sexual scandals after you’ve paid women to keep quiet about your diddling them.

It’d be like complaining about antisemitism after you’ve called for a ban on Muslims, called someone “Pocahontas,” accused Black Lives Matter of being thugs, referred to nations where brown people come from as “shithole countries,” called Mexicans “rapists” and “murderers,” accused black women of being dumb, said a judge is unfit because he’s of Mexican lineage, referred to immigrants as “animals,” engaged in birtherism, or praised Nazis.

It’d be like saying you’ll only hire the best people then hiring your daughter, your son-in-law, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Rick Perry, Omarosa, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, etc.

It’d be like saying, “I know more than the generals” while believing there are invisible airplanes.

It’d be like claiming you’re a great negotiator then after receiving an offer, negotiating yourself down to receiving nothing.

It’s like giving your opponents nicknames like “Crooked Hillary” and “Lyin’ Ted” then telling over 10,000 lies.

It’d be like saying you love America and you’re a patriot while ignoring that Russia meddled in our last election and is planning to do it again in the next one.

It’d be like saying, “I’ll own the shutdown,” then later saying, “They did it.”

It’d be like saying, “No one understands science more than I do” while believing noise from windmills causes cancer.

It’d be like complaining that Facebook’s bans on racists are a threat to the First Amendment while declaring there should be laws restricting a free press.

It’d be like complaining about “fake news” while retweeting conspiracy theories.

It’d be like saying you’re a “young and vibrant man” while looking like THAT.

It’d be like making fun of someone else’s hair while wearing a bleached mongoose on your head.

It’d be like questioning if Obama was born in the United States while lying where your father was born.

It’d be like complaining about someone not releasing their college transcripts while hiding your college transcripts.

It’d be like complaining about someone staging a hate crime after you’ve encouraged your rally attendants to assault black people.

It’d be like saying, “no one respects women more than I do” while grabbing them by the pussy.

It’d be like complaining about Antifa when your supporters are mailing bombs to Democrats and journalists.

It’d be like saying, “No one’s more presidential than I am” while you’re dry humping a flag.

It’d be like “writing” a book when you’re illiterate.

It’d be like saying you support our troops after you’ve said a POW is not a war hero and feuded with Gold Star families.

It’d like accusing Joe Biden of being creepy after you’ve stated that if you two weren’t related, you’d be dating your daughter.

It’d be like accusing Democrats of colluding with Russia after you invited Russians into your campaign headquarters.

It’d be like claiming you’re a family man after you had three divorces and children from three different women.

It’d be like saying you don’t support Nazis after you hired Stephen Miller.

Yeah, it’d be like that.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

I Get Snitty For CNN


CNN05052019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I wrote about this the other day so I don’t think I need to do it again. I went down the same path with my last cartoon on Barr. Instead, I’ll talk about creating it.

I asked CNN to be flexible weeks ago regarding the Thursday the Herblock ceremony fell on. I kept reminding them each week. We can go pretty late on Thursdays. I wasn’t able to do that last week.

Normally, I wait for them to be ready to work and I don’t contact them at all. last Thursday, I opened the conversation and got the ball rolling. I knew they’d want to do something on William Barr, snitty, and him being a no-show.

My hotel room wasn’t ready yet but I was there. The building the hotel is in also holds a common area for Georgetown University, the campus bookstore, and several dining establishments including a Starbucks. It also has horrible WiFi.

I started drawing at Starbucks which was great because I have several gift cards. I had one mocha, one coffee, and a bottle of water. At some point, I needed to pace around and I knew I would lose my awesome seat as the place was crowded. This Starbucks had a constant line. It was always long.

I moved over to the common area and the WiFi there was a little better. It was kinda cool to work in a busy environment where everyone around me was working on their laptops. Usually, when I draw in public, people look at me and often initiate a conversation. I don’t think anyone noticed me at Georgetown. Since the hotel and university are connected to the hospital, there were a lot of their employees around too. So, I wasn’t the only older guy there.

I got my idea approved by CNN around 2:00 pm and then I was notified that my room was ready. Then my friend Amanda arrived, who I had not seen in a few years. The cool part about having my idea approved is that the hard part was over. I didn’t have to think anymore. I could focus on preparing for the award ceremony.

I drew the cartoon Friday morning and completed it five minutes before I was due to check out. I had a lunch planned with the Herblock people, the winner Matt Davies and his wife Lucy, and Politico’s Matt Wuerker at the National Press Club. I told CNN that I was leaving my hotel but if there were any changes they wanted, to just let me know as there is a Starbucks about every seven feet in Washington.

I’ve been drawing on my Surface Pro for three years now and this is the first time I’ve taken it out of town and done work on it…which is one reason for it. It was kinda cool to pretend to be important because I had deadlines while being in Washington.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Snotty On Snitty


cjones05062019

While mucking around in Georgetown on Thursday, I popped into the campus bookstore and for ten bucks, bought a copy of the Mueller Report.

The only reason I had to purchase the thing is for posterity’s sake. I bought a copy of the Starr Report when it first came out too (and believe it or not, in the only conversation I ever had with him, Herblock told me to throw it away). I have already gone through Mueller’s report, but now I can at least grab the hard, OK, softcover copy for reference. And, I bought it despite one of the writers for the introduction being Alan Dershowitz, who has spent the past two years being a Trump sycophant.

From the introduction, it seems Dershowitz had read more of the report than Attorney General William Barr, who has proven to be nothing more than Donald Trump’s Roy Cohn.

Barr released a very flawed summary of the report weeks before releasing a redacted version. During his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Barr complained that Mueller’s objection to his description of the report was “snitty.” He also complained about the volume of material Mueller included in the report, probably because it created more stuff for Barr to lie about.

Barr also complained about the summaries Mueller included, saying, “I made it clear to him I was not in the business of putting out periodic summaries because a summary would start a whole public debate about its accuracy”, says the guy who wrote an inaccurate summary.

He complained about Mueller digging into “additional episodes” of Trump’s possible obstruction, which doesn’t matter since Barr had decided before he even took the job that Trump never obstructed justice.

He even insulted team Mueller. When asked by Senator Marsha Blackburn, “Do you consider these lawyers to be the best and the brightest in the field?” Barr replied, “Not necessarily.”

In testimony before releasing the report, Barr was asked if Mueller approved of his summary. He said he didn’t know. He lied. He knew Mueller was unhappy because he had received it in a written context. It was on the record. He had also talked to Mueller personally. He knew. Before the United States Senate, William Barr, the Attorney General of the United States, committed perjury.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has also accused Barr of committing perjury. Republicans and the White House were upset with that. But then again, they also say you can’t accuse a president of obstruction when he commits obstruction.

Barr has not operated as the nation’s top lawyer and has worked more as Trump’s personal defender. If there’s any real estate left on Trump’s colossal ass that Sean Hannity has missed, Barr has it covered.

Barr should be impeached, or resign, or at the very least have his own colossal ass kicked by Robert Mueller. Maybe there are “13 angry” Democrats who’d like to join in.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.