Wildfires

Blame It On Meghan


cjones01152020

Congratulation, Meghan Markle. You are now Yoko Ono.

Is it fair? Of course not. Last week I thought, “Here come the Yoko comparisons,” and within ten minutes, I saw the memes. A staunch conservative friend of mine who doesn’t fit the stereotype (not religious, has gay friends, appreciates good music, has never posted anything about Trump EVER on social media, helped me build this website years ago, not an asshole) posted that it was the funniest thing he’d seen all week. It was NOT the funniest thing I had seen all week. For starters, since I was expecting it, I saw it coming. It was obvious. The other thing is, why are sexism and racism still funny?

Yes. Not only is blaming Meghan Markle for Prince Harry wanting to be less involved with his royal family sexist, but it’s also racist. How so? You never heard anyone blame Linda McCartney for the breakup for The Beatles. What does that have to do with Meghan Markle? Bear with.

Yoko Ono, the wife of John Lennon (duh), is blamed for breaking up the world’s greatest band and songwriting team in history. But the person who officially broke up the band was Paul McCartney, who made the public announcement and filed for the legal dissolution of the band’s partnership. Sure, every member had left the group in a tantrum in the middle of a recording session at some point, but it was Paul who officially killed The Beatles. Should we blame his wife?

I don’t think Linda McCartney broke up The Beatles, but if you’re going to take blame away from the people who were actually in the band and lay it on a wife, then why poor Yoko? Is it because she’s artistic and played music with John? Uh, Linda did that too. The reason Yoko is blamed is that she’s not white. And if you go with that she wasn’t British and cast her as an outsider nationally, Linda wasn’t British either.

And why would Yoko break up The Beatles? Did she manipulate John to believe he didn’t need Paul? He already knew he didn’t need Paul. Hell, even Ringo didn’t need Paul as he had his own number one hits (he needed George, who wrote “Photograph” for him). Paul didn’t need John either. They were geniuses and they both wrote incredible music post-Beatles (despite “Silly Love Songs” and “The Girl Is Mine”). But if it was Yoko’s desire for John to be a bigger star than The Beatles, she failed as John spent the bulk of his time between the band’s breakup and his untimely death holed up in the Dakota being a house husband and recording uncompleted songs on cassette tapes in his living for the band to finish up a decade and a half after his death (still better than “Silly Love Songs”).

If you’re going to blame Yoko for breaking up The Beatles, then maybe we should give her credit for the solo songs “Baby, I’m Amazed,” “Band On The Run,” “War Is Over,” and finally…”Imagine.” Instead, today her name is synonymous with women who break up good things. If we’re going to hate anyone for what they did to the greatest rock and roll band of all time, hate Phil Specter (rapist, indeed). People were blaming Yoko Ono for breaking up The Beatles before The Beatles ever broke up. But The Beatles were never going to last forever. You can’t keep two genius songwriters from flying out on their own. For example: Look at the rock band Kiss and their two main songwriters, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. After nearly 50 years, they’re still together.

John Lennon was an adult at the time capable of making his own decisions. No “tiger woman” had him under a spell forcing his hand, which he joked about in “The Ballad of John and Yoko.” But the fact is, the only one who broke up The Beatles were The Beatles.

But going with a narrative without information is par for the course when it comes to being a conservative. If you design a meme correctly and blame Meghan Markle for pissing off the Queen, Republicans will probably believe she’s the reason we’ll never get another “Bohemian Rhapsody.” At this very moment, conservative bots are sharing bullshit all over the internet claiming that arson in Australia is proof climate change doesn’t exist.

And it’s not just the bots. Rupert Murdoch’s news empire in Australia, where his empire started, is hot (no pun intended) on the false narrative too. While scientists state 3 to 5% of Australia’s wildfires are caused by arson, Murdoch’s outlets are claiming it’s not a climate emergency, but an arson emergency.

Climate change still exists. Even if all of the fires could be blamed on arson, drier and hotter seasons enable these fires to spread further, last longer and destroy more of our environment. Climate change causes it to destroy more personal property and lives. Saying arson is proof climate change doesn’t exist is really just as stupid as blaming Meghan Markle for the wildfires…or Harry distancing himself from his royal responsibilities.

And dammit, right-wing fucknuts. Stop blaming the black girl every time.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Trump’s California Dreaming


cjones11212018

Donald Trump is going to California. Sorry, California.

Trump is very bitter toward California because they didn’t vote for him and it’s ground zero for The Resistance. Their governor doesn’t like Trump. Their two senators don’t like Trump. And now, Orange County, which was the bastion for Reagan conservatism, will be represented in Congress entirely by Democrats.

California is burning as wildfires have claimed the lives of at least 71 people. Over 1,000 are missing. Trump’s first response to this was to tweet a dig at California, blaming the state’s forest management for causing the fires, which of course is wrong.

One woman living in a shelter told the BBC, “If you insult people, then you go visit them, how do you think you’re going to be accepted? You’re not going to have a parade.” That’s sad because Trump really likes parades. What he hates is rain.

Trump flew to France to commemorate the 100th anniversary marking the end of World War One and then skipped a ceremony at a cemetery for American veterans because…it was raining. He also refused to walk with European leaders and allies in the rain. Later in the day while giving a speech to veterans, he complained about having to stand in the rain. When he came home, he skipped going to Arlington National Cemetery on Veterans Day.

What California needs desperately at this time is rain, to drench the wildfires and to keep away Donald Trump.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Wildfire


cjones10152017

As at least 20 wildfires rage in California, killing 35 so far, Donald Trump is gutting Obama’s Climate Change policy (along with everything else Obama initiated during his term. More on that with my next cartoon). While Trump has issued a disaster declaration for the Golden state, Californians will probably have to issue huge compliments and gratitude for Cheetolini to do more.

Thousands of homes have been lost to the fires, including the Santa Rosa home to one of my heroes, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz.

When it comes to disasters, Trump is picking and choosing which Americans he wants to receive aid. While Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico are also recovering from hurricanes, Trump is issuing threats to the territory that we can’t stay there forever, as if it’s a foreign nation we’re occupying.

Trump is also picking and choosing which parts of his oath of office he plans to keep.

Donald Trump recited the oath of office which states, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Donald Trump said those words, but they apparently don’t mean anything to him.

Trump is concerned with people disrespecting the flag of the United States and the National Anthem (unless it’s Kid Rock wearing the flag as a diaper. He gets invited to the White House). He has said that people can’t disrespect those. Much like the stock market and the national debt (which Trump said last week, one will pay off the other), he doesn’t understand the United States Constitution…or the fact he’s sworn to protect it.

Trump loves the flag controversy. It helps him further divide this nation and it allows him to continue to be president only for the low-information rubes who support him. There is no actual danger to this nation if someone disrespects a flag, a song you don’t know all the words to, or even our military (which has not technically fought for American freedom since the Civil War). It’s red meat for stupid religious zealots, like vowing we’re going to start saying “merry Christmas” again, which must be a secret ban Obama implemented. I can’t find any information on that, no matter how hard I search.

A rhetorical question I posed on Twitter a few days ago to Trump sycophants was: “what’s worse? Disrespecting the flag or the U.S. Constitution?” Violating one of those actually endangers our freedom, and it’s not the flag.

What is frightening as hell is that we have a president, who idolizes authoritarian figures, who is disregarding the parts of the Constitution he doesn’t like.

Trump says people can’t disrespect the flag. Yes, they can. It’s protected speech. The Constitution doesn’t say that only speech Donald J. Trump agrees with is allowed.

While every president has issues with the press, Trump has been in a constant love/hate relationship with it for his entire life. Lately, he’s focusing on the hate.

Upset at a report that he wanted to increase our nuclear arsenal (because he doesn’t understand treaties either), he blasted NBC. Trump tweeted, “with all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!” He also wondered out loud why the Senate Intelligence Committee wasn’t looking into the “fake news networks.”

Wednesday, Trump said, “it is frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write, and people should look into it.” Guess what, you walking mango. I looked into it. Yes, the press pretty much can write whatever they want to write. It’s how Trump’s favorite publications, The National Enquirer, Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News can spread made-up bullshit for Trump to help disseminate.

First off, there is not a license for news network, no more than there are licenses for journalists (including political cartoonists). Individual stations are licensed, but not networks. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does not regulate content. This isn’t Nazi Germany, or present-day North Korea, or Cuba, or Azerbaijan, or China, or Russia, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia, or Egypt, or Turkey, or Uzbekistan, etc.

Second, freedom of the press is guaranteed by the First Amendment. If you’re a Trump voter, that’s the very first one in the Constitution. Our Founding Fathers thought it was kinda important. Trump might have autocratic fantasies about ditching parts of the Constitution that he and his stupid base don’t care about, or have never bothered to read, but he has sworn to defend it.

Similar to how you can’t choose which American citizens are worthy enough to receive disaster relief, and which are not, you can’t pick which parts of the Constitution you swear to defend. I know the Second Amendment is the only one you get a boner for, but you might want to look into the others.

When it comes to people who kneel during a song and people who want to violate the United States Constitution, only one of those groups should have their patriotism questioned (hint: It’s not the protesters).

Did you know that in addition to protecting the press and protesters, the First Amendment also allows you to practice whichever religion you fundamentalist zealots choose? Also, it prevents anyone from stopping you from saying “merry Christmas.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Climate Cliche


cjones09072017

I don’t know which is more ironic. Conservatives who deny the science of climate change who are in areas affected by natural disasters, or the same conservatives asking for federal money for those disasters while screaming against the ill effects of socialism.

Wildfires are raging across the West in Oregon, California, Washington state, Utah, Idaho, Colorado, and Montana, and they’ve already burned over seven million acres. Houston, the Texas and Louisiana coasts are still drying out from Hurricane Harvey. Many people are estimating that the rebuilding will cost over $150 billion. That’s billions. Hurricane Irma is sweeping through the Caribbean and is aiming straight for Florida or South Carolina, and is the largest Atlantic hurricane ever recorded since they started recording hurricanes.

Your rigid partisan beliefs don’t change facts. They don’t change science. Harvey and Irma aren’t taking polls while they’re destroying your house. The climate doesn’t care what you believe, or that you don’t know the difference between “climate” and “weather.”

You’ll refuse to acknowledge wildfires and catastrophic level hurricanes are evidence of climate change, but I’m sure you’ll point out that February snow in Buffalo proves it doesn’t exist.

Like the guy in the cartoon, I’ll be rolling my eyes at you.

Creative notes: This cartoon is exactly why a lot of my colleagues don’t like me and I don’t have any friends. I make fun of them. Before we can make fun of other people, we have to learn how to laugh at ourselves. A lot of cartoonists haven’t figured that out. But in their defense, I can be a jerk.

Over the past week and then some, several cartoonists drew the guy in the water with a sign saying “climate change is a hoax.” Every cartoonist will have the same idea as another cartoonist from time to time (it happened to me last week), but some avoid the herds. At least they weren’t the same guys who drew arks. Someone lazy always draws an ark.

So, I tried to take the cliche and make fun of it while making an actual statement on the issue, while also realizing most readers won’t understand it’s a cliche. Most newspaper editors seem to love the most obvious ideas. I’ll be honest and admit that I often draw cartoons while not being sure if they actually work that well. This is one of them. I wait for the reactions. The worst reaction is no reaction.

My friend and colleague Matt Davies did draw one the other day that definitely worked. He was probably aware of all the “wading climate denier” cartoons and decided to put a twist on it. He’s one of the more brilliant people doing this job and his cartoon actually included a topic most haven’t tackled yet, myself included. I’m still jealous.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.