Unicorn

Cheer Up, Sparkles


cjones04162020

I realize the majority of my readers, those who receive emails each time there’s a new blog post (when the WordPress system works) and followers on social media, agree with me. Most of the time, I’m preaching to the choir. Well, there may not be much singing today.

There is one area where a lot of my readers disagree with me and that’s on Bernie. No, it’s not that I don’t like Bernie or support him. In fact, I love Bernie. I would love to see every policy Bernie pushed be passed by Congress.

I don’t believe free college and healthcare for everyone are pipe dreams. I know they’re very realistic. What I don’t think is that they’re possible with the public and lawmakers. At least, not at this time. While I think it can be done financially, I don’t think they can be passed, even if Democrats control both houses of Congress. But you know, maybe one pandemic can put socialism over the top.

Where a lot of my readers disagree with me is on supporting a candidate who is not Bernie. Hey, I get it. I’m more liberal than the majority of the nation yet also realize I can’t get everything I want. And I don’t think I can get what I want by embarrassing you in a shopping center by dropping to the floor and start kicking and screaming.

Where I really piss off Bernie Bros is when I point out they’re a lot like Trump supporters. How so? First off, they participate in online smear campaigns, they lie, and they don’t deal with facts very well.

Yesterday, I watched one Democrat tell a Bernie supporter that if he stays home or refuses to vote for Joe Biden, then he’s helping keep Trump in office. The Bernie Bro replied, “That’s where we have to disagree.”

No. You don’t disagree with facts. If you don’t vote for the Democratic candidate, you’re voting for Trump. End of case. End of story. End of the United States of America. You might as well wear a MAGA shirt and buy some $15 pencils at the Trump store.

Remember when President Obama nominated Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court? A lot of lefties weren’t happy. He wasn’t liberal enough. He was male. He was white. Bleagh. Boring. And what they got was Neil Gorsuch. Happy?

Or better yet, remember when you rejected Hillary Clinton so you got Donald Trump?

I am not excited about Biden. In fact, if I was to be a baby about the Democratic primary, then I would have had my first fit over Kamala Harris, my second fit over Elizabeth Warren, my third fit over Bernie, and then my final fit after you reject Joe Biden and keep Donald Trump in office. But trust me on this, you’re going to like Joe Biden’s judicial appointments a lot better than Donald Trump’s.

Grow up. It’s not about one person. When I refer to one person, I’m not talking about Bernie, Biden, or Donald Trump. I’m talking about you. It’s not just about you.

You’re not enthusiastic about Joe Biden? Me neither. I’ll give you something to be enthusiastic about: Getting rid of Donald Trump and listening to him bitch about it for the rest of his life. Listening to every MAGAt bitch about it for the rest of their lives. Can you get enthusiastic about the shit fits to be thrown by Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Donald Trump Jr? Can you get enthusiastic about making Matt Gaetz cry?

I don’t care if the Democratic nominee is a chunk of yellow snow someone put their cigarette out in. I’m enthusiastic about getting rid of Donald Trump and every sycophant in his administration. Fox News can’t hire them all.

Vote for Joe Biden. Grit you teeth, hold your nose, and vote for Joe Biden. It’s not just about you, so get over yourself.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Giddy Up Socialism


cjones04012020

When I did a cartoon last week on Republicans and MAGAts now loving socialism, I asked the question, “How will they defend it?”

There are a lot of Republicans, libertarians, and Trump supporters who are mouthing that they’re not happy with the $2 trillion stimulus to float the economy through the coronavirus pandemic. I’m sure there are others who are unhappy with Donald Trump, after great pressure from the nation’s governors, activating the Defense Production Act and forcing General Motors to make ventilators, which I’m sure will be arriving in hospitals by December (Right now, GM is asking: How do we make ventilators? Also, What’s a ventilator?)

I commend those conservatives for at least sounding consistent because when I say they’re “mouthing” their disapproval with the stimulus, I mean that’s all they’re going to do. Because guess what they’re going to do when they get those checks?

If the checks go straight into their banks through direct deposit, they’ll probably argue that it’s a hassle to return it. If checks arrive in the mail, they’ll cash them. What will they purchase? Probably guns and beer.

I quickly discovered the answer to the question I asked last week. How will conservatives defend Republican socialism? I’ve heard them argue that it’s not socialism when it helps people who work for a living. I’ve heard it’s not socialism because it’s helping “real Americans” and “Patriots.” I’ve heard it can’t be socialism if Donald Trump supports it. And I’ve heard, it’s not socialism because we’re in a national emergency. It’s a crisis.

But the socialism Bernie Sanders proposes, democratic socialism, is designed to help people in emergencies. It’s an emergency when you don’t have healthcare. It’s an emergency if you can’t pay your rent because your wage is too low. It’s an emergency that corporations are given huge tax breaks and don’t use it to invest in the economy. It’s an emergency when you can’t feed your kids. It’s an emergency when you can’t afford heat. It’s an emergency when you’re forced to pay ridiculous interest rates to get an education.

Donald Trump has said more than once that “America will never be a socialist country.” MAGAts love to compare Bernie’s socialism to Venezuela. Now, they’re watching Donald Trump nationalize an American corporation. Now, they’re all going to be cashing checks. from the government for work they didn’t do. America has always been a socialist country. They always argue against “free stuff,” but they’re the same fuckers who voted for a guy who promised a free wall.

How will Donald Trump run for reelection without complaining about socialism? Donald Trump is socialism.

I know the answer. They’ll say it’s not socialism when it helps white people.

Giddy up.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Hillary Gets A Head


cjones06072016

The Associated Press reported Monday evening that Hillary Clinton has secured enough delegates to win the Democratic Party’s nomination. This has seriously burned the Berners.

Clinton now becomes the first female to win the nomination of a major American political party. That might have been the direction I should have gone in but who can resist drawing a decapitated unicorn head? Not I.

Sanders plans to stay and fight until the convention in July. His supporters are claiming this information was released the day before the last major primaries to discourage voters. Sanders’ supporters are starting to sound a lot like Republicans where they blame the messenger and become paranoid.

Discouraging the vote, especially in California, does not help Hillary Clinton. She still needs to win the state, at least for argument’s sake. She does not want to roll into Philadelphia without a California win.

Another area where Sanders’ supporters are sounding like Republicans is their trouble with reality. They’re having trouble with math. They can’t say they want the Democratic process to work and then ask the super delegates to ignore it. Hillary Clinton has won more votes and delegates than Bernie, yet his plan for the nomination relies upon the supers to switch loyalties. If Bernie really believes that is even remotely possible then he does believe in unicorns.

Bernie Sanders also argues that he polls better against Trump. That is true. But after the performance Clinton gave last week, and the trauma she caused the Trump campaign, I think she’s gonna do OK. I think Hillary can do a better job against Trump. She’s been vetted for over 20 years. She’s been dragged through the mud by the GOP for that entire time and they still don’t have anything on her. She sat through 12 hours of their grilling and came out smiling and leaving them frustrated by their own ineptness. She’s tougher than Sanders and Trump combined. I don’t love Hillary Clinton. I think she’s shady. I don’t find her entirely honest. But I also believe she’s a fighter and will totally destroy Trump better than Sanders can even dream of doing.

This doesn’t mean I think Sanders should drop out. He should keep making noise right to the convention. He has a great message that should be a part of the party’s platform. He really accomplished something historic by running a campaign largely made up of donations from individuals and not corporations or pacs. His people should not pack up, go home and sit on the couch.

The primary system is not entirely fair. But this isn’t exactly a vote by all the people in the first place. It’s a party selecting their nominee. It’s not the general election. Each party decides their process.

For example: The GOP is seriously having second thoughts and Trump is very likely to finally make a statement, or set a cross on fire and claim it’s a “T,” between now and their convention that forces them to nominate someone with more appeal, which at this point would be chlamydia.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Bernie’s Pretty Little Unicorn


cjones03102016

I went a little Godfather on you here. After seeing that iconic scene when I was a kid, I’ve always thought that would be one of the most horrible ways to wake up. I’ve always wondered how it would be accomplished. I think if gangsters crept into my bedroom in the middle of the night with a chopped off horse head that I wouldn’t sleep through it.

I went with the unicorn here because I think most people will understand the mythical creature has been associated with Sander’s promises. They are mythical, right?

Bernie was supposed to be put away the other night. Instead, he defied the pollsters and stole Michigan away from Hillary. I’m sure that doesn’t chafe only Hillary, but the entire Democratic Party establishment. Let’s be real. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and the rest of the leadership want Hillary in place and ready for the Republican nominee. Bernie has the gall to slow that down and he’s not even a Democrat.

Hillary will win the nomination but the discussion we’re having now is great for democracy.

Short blog post again, folks. I’m still a bit under the weather but I feel better today than I did yesterday. I’m actually drinking coffee again.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!