UNGA

Trump’s Moll


cjones12252017

Donald Trump and his sycophants boast they’ve restored respect to the United States. It’s like their claim they’re rebuilding the military and the FBI. They’re all lies. The military isn’t in shambles and they’re actually trying to destroy the credibility of the FBI.

Our nation lost a lot of respect from the rest of the world during the George W. Bush administration. Starting a war on false pretenses, destabilizing it, killing tens of thousands of people, and creating a haven for terrorists will do that. Also, when you attempt to demean an ally who disagrees with you by renaming french fries “freedom fries,” and your president can’t enunciate “nuclear,” respect goes out the window.

Respect toward the United States was rebuilt during the Obama era. Speaking coherently helps.

Respect for our nation is again falling into a gutter. The world looks toward Angela Merkel and Justin Trudeau to be champions of freedom and democracy, not Donald Trump.

People don’t respect you when they play to your vanities. They don’t respect you when it works. They don’t respect patronizing Nazis and pedophiles, verbally attacking women and minorities, and they don’t respect when you call the first line of freedom, a free press, enemies of your nation.

You are not respected when you deny there was an attack on your democracy by a hostile nation, despite your own intelligence agencies verifying it. Failing to protect your country, which you’ve sworn to do, is not respected.

You are not respected by expressing admiration for thugs, bullies, and autocrats who lead China, Russia, Turkey, and the Philippines.

You are not respected by pulling out of the Paris climate treaty, something that only one other nation in the world refuses to join.

When you proclaim Jerusalem, which the world recognizes as occupied territory, as Israel’s capital, you lose respect. When every single nation in the world disagrees with you, you lose respect. When your action gets your nation thrown out of the peace talks, you lose respect.

When your vice president is an ass-kissing weasel, you lose respect. When your entire party follows suit with the ass kissing, you lose respect.

When nearly half the nation selects a narcissistic, juvenile, sexist, racist, anti-Semitic ignoramus as its leader, the nation loses respect.

When you threaten to start world war 3, you lose respect. When you refer to your enemy, who has nuclear weapons, as “little rocket man,” you lose respect. When you lose a war of insults with Kim Jong Un, you lose respect and people start to believe you are a “dotard.”

When you send your ambassador to the United Nations to threaten and intimidate its members on how they vote in a meaningless, non-binding measure, you lose respect. When you threaten your allies, tell them you’re “taking names,” and will withhold financial assistance in the future if they don’t do what you want, you lose respect. When you attempt the aforementioned ignoring the reality that there are upcoming votes that do serve your interest, you lose respect because they think you’re an idiot.

And your ambassador, who was formerly respected, has lost all respect.

And that’s the way it is, see…

Creative notes: This is kind of how I get an idea. I read the story of Nikki Haley attempting to intimidate the world at the United Nations. Immediately I think of how it’s Christmas time and she’s putting everyone on a naughty list. The problem is, since it’s my first thought then other cartoonists will be drawing it. There’s always one, two, or 20 cartoonists who go for the first and most obvious idea and, I’ve seen a couple already. My second thought is how Trump is trying to use gangster diplomacy.

I though of old-time gangsters and I google “who finished every sentence with ‘see’?” It was Edward G. Robinson who was in the film Key Largo. Then, I google images of Edward G. Robinson. And, just to cover my bases, I read his Wikipedia page, which I do for everyone I’m going to cover or who inspires a cartoon. Honestly though, the true inspiration is probably the caricature of him in the 1946 Bugs Bunny cartoon “Racketeer Rabbit.” I also googled gangster and 1920s slang for “party,” but I couldn’t find one.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Arr! A Cartoon For Scurvy Dogs


cjones09222017

Sometimes, an editorial cartoonist has to suspend reality and use creative license. There is no way Donald Trump could pronounce half the words in this cartoon.

Donald Trump spoke at the United Nations and said the word “sovereignty” twenty-one times. The funny thing is, he didn’t mention Russia once, which is the only nation that has recently attacked our sovereignty. He did however, unleash his fourth-grade rhetoric to delight the international congregation. As we are sending thoughts and prayers to Mexico after the earthquake, the rest of the world is sending us the same for Donald Trump. We’ll be digging out for a very long time.

During his promotion of American nationalism and screw everyone else, Trump once again referred to Kim Jong Un as “Rocket Man,” and asked for help to fight “loser terrorists” (because they couldn’t get dates in high school?) The insecure and childish name-calling didn’t seem to go down as well in a room for educated international diplomats as much as it would for an alt-right rally in West Virginia.

Trump’s team bragged that the “Rocket Man” line was Trump’s own inclusion without receiving any help from his team. Really? Putin’s Tiny Dancer didn’t need any help with the schoolyard insult? He did have assistance writing the speech from known-xenophobe Stephen Miller (who I confused for Sebastian Gorka in yesterday’s column. Sorry if anyone got excited when I wrote that Miller had been fired. I also confused Jimmy Kimmel with Jimmy Fallon, and none of you fuckers were able to catch both mistakes. It was either the “Kimmel/Fallon” thing or the “Miller” goof).

Trump started off his speech talking about the American economy and our military might. I’m slightly surprised he didn’t mention winning Michigan, “Crooked Hillary,” or ask how many in the room liked Joe Arpaio. He eventually got to international topics and said, “Major portions of the world are in conflict, and some, in fact, are going to hell.” It wasn’t as juicy as his “American Carnage” inauguration speech, but the sycophants loved it.

Trump successfully attacked Venezuela without using the term “bad hombres.” Then, he attacked Iran, which we’re all down for, but he threatened to cancel the nuclear agreement we spent many months negotiating with several international partners. He promised that we’ll be hearing about the treaty again and summed that up with his usual “believe me,” which means we may or may not be hearing of it again.

The problem with pulling out of a treaty where Iran agreed to curtail their nuclear development is that it will leave Iran without any agreement to stop their nuclear development. Iran has met all of their obligations listed in the treaty so far. If we nix the deal it will inform the rest of the world that they cannot trust the United States. It’s hard enough now that we have to sell them on the idea of talking to Donald Trump.

Breaking a promise will also tell North Korea that any agreement they make with us will only be as good as the paper it’s written on, kinda like one of them degrees from Trump University. But then again, perhaps we aren’t interested in any diplomatic negotiations with North Korea.

Trump threatened to “totally destroy” the DPRK yesterday. What incentive does a rogue regime have in dismantling their nuclear weapon program when the world’s greatest military power is describing in great detail how it may destroy them?

Conservatives loved Trump’s speech. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, “In more than 30 years of my acquaintance with the U.N., I have not heard a more courageous and sharp speech.” He has, but not from anyone whose ass he wanted to kiss. Sweden’s ambassador said, “It was the wrong speech, at the wrong time, to the wrong audience.” France’s Emmanuel Macron disagreed with several parts of Trump’s speech. Iran’s foreign minister said it was “ignorant hate speech.” Hey, welcome to our party. Have you seen the hats?

We need diplomacy more than bombs. It’s kinda hard to engage in diplomacy when you don’t have diplomats. In addition to cutting the State Department’s budget, a lot of ambassador posts remain unfilled. In addition to eight posts at the United Nations that remain vacant, we currently do not have ambassadors in important nations such as South Korea, India, Australia, Cuba, Egypt, Afghanistan, France, Germany, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and the European Union. We also have several posts unfilled in unimportant places like Lesotho, Bahamas, Belize, Belarus, Eritrea, Jamaica, Mauritania, Trinidad and Tobago, and Mauritius & Seychelles. So, eh.

We don’t even have an ambassador to Russia, unless we count the one currently sitting in the Oval Office.

Creative notes: Every cartoonist in the nation is doing something with “Rocket Man” today. I decided to wait, and maybe not do anything with it at all. Though, that “Putin’s Tiny Dancer” line wasn’t half bad.

Yesterday was “Talk Like A Pirate” day. I am not a fan of cartoons using a holiday theme being drawn and published AFTER the freaking holiday. I see it every year with Christmas and Halloween. Though it wasn’t a holiday, a lot of cartoonists kept drawing eclipse cartoons days after the eclipse. But, I’m breaking one of my own rules with this one. “Talk Like A Pirate” day isn’t a real holiday anyway. Plus, I don’t know if I’ve ever used it before. If I have, it was back when I worked for The Free Lance-Star, and they’ve deleted all the cartoons I drew for them from their website. All the originals from those 14 years are in boxes in one of my friend’s attic.

I suck at talking like a pirate. It’s arrrrrful. See?

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Getting Serious With Putin


cjones09302015

Golly, did Vladimir Putin dis Obama at Monday’s meeting at the United Nations? You can bet rubles on it.

Putin has a history of throwing his weight around world leaders. Knowing German leader Angela Merkel has a fear of dogs, Putin brought his huge labrador into their meetings. So yesterday he chose to make Obama wait 20 minutes for their lunch date.  What a nice guy. I’m sure there’s something more important than meeting with the leader of the free world.

The United States wants Bashar Assad out of Syria. Russia thinks we have to work with him. Francois Hollande, president of France put it best saying “you can’t put together victims and the people who are killing them. Assad is the origin of this problem, and cannot be part of the solution”.

Hard truth time. Putin makes good points regarding fighting ISIS, but they’re wrong about Assad. When Russia helps Assad fight ISIS, Assad will most likely be targeting rebels in his civil war, and civilians.

Other hard truth: Obama has no strategy for Syria. It will be his only failure in the eyes of historians. But beyond Obama the United States does not have credibility in establishing leaders in the Middle East. It doesn’t matter if the president is a Democrat or a Republican. American Foreign policy usually sucks. Despite the right wing love affair, it sucked under Reagan. Yes. It sucked under Reagan.

We have destabilized the Middle East. We did that long before Iraq. We did that in the 1950’s. We spent decades supporting Israel without question. We supported coups in Iran. We bombed Iraq for oil prices. A decade later we invaded Iraq because someone attacked us from Afghanistan. We invaded Afghanistan. We supported the Arab Spring in Libya and Egypt. Which of these has worked out? For that matter it doesn’t work out for Russia either.

We created an atmosphere for ISIS. Russia created an atmosphere for the Taliban. It seems the only solution is to mess up a country together. That’ll be new.

Yeah, this is gonna work out.

I love the movie Airplane. Yeah, you kinda see the punchline coming. I wonder if younger people won’t understand the reference.