TSA

Guns & Panties


Stupid-ass North Carolina Republican congressman Madison Cawthorn was busted trying to sneak a gun through security in his carry-on bag at Charlotte Douglas International Airport…again.

Yes. Again. This has happened before. This is how stupid Madison Cawthorn is. He’s not just stupid enough to try to sneak a gun through airport security, thinking the X-ray machines won’t catch it, but he’s stupid enough not to learn from the first attempt’s failure.

Last year at the Asheville Regional Airport in North Carolina, he was caught trying to sneak a gun onto a plane. His spokesgoon explained it as something innocent as Madison likes to use the same carry-on bag to stow his gun for when he travels to the firing range where he pretends his paper targets are black people.

Last year, Cawthorn was accused of bringing a knife strapped to the back of his wheelchair to a school board meeting.

Last March, he was charged with driving with a revoked license. He has a May court date on the misdemeanor count, which carries jail time.

Madison was fined both times he tried to sneak a handgun onto a plane. The TSA says they don’t disclose the amounts of fines for crossdressing hypocritical goon Republicans, but civil penalties for trying to bring a gun through airport security average about $2,000 for an unloaded gun and $4,000 for a loaded one, with a maximum fine of $13,900.

I’m thinking that after going to all the Washington Republican orgies crossdressing Madison Cawthorn has boasted about that a little deep probe body cavity search by the TSA is something the congressman can handle in stride. Hell, he’ll probably enjoy it.

Wait a minute. Maybe that’s why he keeps trying to take guns onto airplanes. “Oh no, don’t look in the bag…oh drats. You caught me. I’m a bad boy.”

For the first time in my life, I feel bad for the TSA.

Music Note: Cranberries and Goo Goo Dolls.

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Ben, Stop Talking


cjones03082017

When Ben Carson said slaves brought to America from Africa were immigrants I was shocked. I thought to myself “how is it Trump didn’t name him Secretary of Education?”

Carson, who once claimed the Egyptian pyramids were built for storing grain (which were also built by “immigrants) actually said slaves were immigrants with dreams for their children and grandchildren. You wouldn’t think the one member of Trump’s cabinet who needed a course in African-American history the most would be the only African-American among his appointees.

Trump promised us the best people yet he’s given us Ben Carson to head Housing and Urban Development despite Ben himself saying he wasn’t qualified to lead a department. His biggest qualification for the job was that he’s lived in a city.

Trump’s also given us a Secretary of Education who doesn’t know anything about education and never supported public schools in her life. Where Obama appointed a nuclear physicist to the Energy department, and before that a Nobel Prize winner, Trump has given us a contestant from Dancing With The Stars who once couldn’t name the department. We have an Attorney General who doesn’t believe in civil rights, a head of EPA who’s sued the department, and a Secretary of State who’s received awards from Vladimir Putin. On top of all that I suspect the only reason he appointed Linda McMahon to head Small Business is just so he can find out if professional wrestling is real or not.

I made a tweet yesterday (not at 3:00 AM) that slaves were immigrants about as much as zoo animals are hotel guests. Samuel L. Jackson also sent out a tweet regarding Carson’s comment which might have summed it up best for everyone.

Meanwhile the TSA has implemented a new pat-down procedure that is very similar to how Trump once described on a bus how he likes to greet women. It’s a grabby technique.

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Patience With The TSA


cjones05202016

One of the stories this week every American political cartoonists drew a cartoon on were the long lines in airport security checkpoints. Every cartoonists except me, until now.

The point made by each and every single one of those cartoons were “the lines are long” and “waiting sucks.” I’m really not into that sort of commentary. There were also a bunch of cartoons about graduation with the point that the job market stinks. Yeah, hard hitting stuff. I’ve done my share of those cartoons in the past but that was when I was on the staff of a newspaper and editors LOVE light-heart crap. I’m sure many of my newspaper clients would like for me to draw more of those.

I don’t disagree that waiting sucks. But complaining about long lines is like complaining about the weather.

With the downing of EgyptAir maybe we should keep things a bit more in perspective.

I have had no personal experience with waiting in a country other than the United States, but I have read Americans have the least amount of patience. I’m probably the worst one. I hate waiting in traffic, in lines, for people,girls (seriously, girls. Why?) trailers at the movies, my dog to hurry up and poop. I lose patience with microwaves. Hurry up and pop that popcorn, dammit!

But you know what’s worst than waiting in line at a TSA checkpoint? Exploding. Exploding would suck. Drowning sucks too. Also, eaten by sharks. That’s probably not a good time.

I think it’s too soon to blame this on terrorists. ISIS hasn’t even taken credit yet which is surprising, even if they didn’t do it. Whether this was terrorism or not, it’s a reminder that having the TSA keeping us safe is a good thing. Even if you have to smell someone’s stinky feet on your way to your flight.

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