Trumpies

Trumpie’s Choice


cjones01222018

Republicans are blaming Democrats for the shutdown despite the fact they control the House, the Senate, and the Presidency. Donald Trump even said in 2013, “A shutdown falls on the President’s lack of leadership. He can’t even control his party and get people together in a room. A shutdown means the President is weak.”

The Republicans are complaining that the Democrats are holding the government hostage for “illegals.” Trump said publicly last week that he would sign a bipartisan agreement and “take the heat” for it. He lied. After a bipartisan deal was brought to him, he rejected it.

The situation of DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals), the program that allows immigrants to remain in this nation who were brought here as children, became a crisis after Trump revoked Obama’s Executive Order allowing them to stay. These are people who are basically Americans, brought here by no fault of their own, and contribute to society. These are not lawbreakers or criminals. Trump is the one who inserted DACA into the government showdown.

The Republicans say they will address DACA before March when they’ll be deported or forced into hiding if nothing is done, but in case you haven’t been paying attention, you can’t trust the Republicans. Trump has lied daily since he started his campaign, and his words and actions from this past week alone, from breaking his promise on DACA and saying he didn’t want people from “shithole countries” and wanted more white people from Norway, shows what sort of negotiating partner the Democrats are dealing with.

While Republicans in government say they want to work out an agreement to allow the Dreamers to stay, every Republican you talk to on social media talks about kicking them all out. If the base wants to screw them over, then what will a president, who only appeals to his base, do?

If DACA shouldn’t be a part of this, then Trump’s border wall shouldn’t be a part of the budget. Trump wants $20 billion for the wall. Let me refresh your memory: Trump’s primary campaign promise, the message he gave when he announced his candidacy after riding down that escalator, was that Mexico will pay for this wall. You and I are not Mexico, yet that’s who he wants to pay for the wall.

Democrats are willing to give Trump some funding for the wall. Personally, I don’t think they should give him one cent. I don’t want to pay for his broken campaign promises, even if his sycophants do. Let them pay for his racist wall.

Republicans don’t want DACA in the deal, but they do want to fund Trump’s broken promises. Tell me again why we can trust them?

Republicans threw CHIP (Children’s Health Insurance Program) into the deal, offering to fund it for six years. The program has bipartisan support, somewhat. While they point out the urgency for funding CHIP, they overlook that it ran out last September and there was no GOP urgency at that time. Why? Because CHIP is being used against DACA. Republicans are trying to force Democrats to choose between children’s health and Dreamers being allowed to stay in the country, which Trump already promised. But, we’ve seen what becomes of Trump’s promises.

Trump also wants to hold the Dreamers hostage to get full funding for his wall, which again, he said Mexico would pay for.

This is the first time since the Carter Administration that there’s been a government shutdown while one party controlled the Presidency, House, and Senate. There were five shutdowns and they were all about abortion. The Republicans should own this.

The Republicans have broken promises, and they’re holding children as hostages. Why should we give them our trust? Why should we accept the choices they are offering? This isn’t about politics. This is about people.

In 2013, Trump said a shutdown means the president is weak. Trump is weak, and he’s proven he’s a shitty negotiator. You don’t negotiate in good faith by holding children hostage, making people choose one or the other, while you continue to break promises after promises. Democrats need to show Trump they’re the honest ones, and they’re not weak. Don’t give him a cent for his wall and don’t sign a deal hoping he’ll keep a promise later. I don’t want to hang the future of 800,000 Dreamers on the hope Donald Trump keeps his word.

We can’t trust him.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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Fake News Awards


cjones01192018

Every year as journalism awards are announced, I’m always disappointed. The trend continued yesterday, and I was left sulking, hurt, wrongly denied, robbed, and a little whiny as I did not receive a Trumpie, a Fake News Award.

Being president is an easy job and the biggest complaint from the occupants of the office is all the free time they have on their hands. The only reason George W. Bush invaded Iraq was that it was quicker to send a million troops to the Middle East than it was to upload Sim City. This was the fault of the Clinton administration because, as a prank, they had removed all the “any keys” from the White House computers.

Donald Trump told us on the campaign trail that it will be easy to accomplish everything he was promising. That’s why he only has one legislative achievement so far. He has to save everything else for his next three years…or three months if Mueller gets cracking. Make Mexico pay for the wall? Easy. Defeating ISIS? Easy. Not enacting Russia sanctions? Easy. Grabbing pussy? Even easier when you’re a star if you pop a couple Tic Tacs first.

Trump needed to find something to fill in the gaps between lying on Twitter, campaigning for 2020, giving Putin back massages, praising despots, and threatening the First Amendment. What he came up with are the Fake News Awards.

Trump announced that on Wednesday, January 8th, he’d hand out awards to all horrible journalists who least lived up to the high journalistic standards of Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News. January 8th came and went, and no Trumpies. Then he announced he’d whip them out on January 17th.

Imagine the disappointment for journalists who wasted money on tuxedo rentals as the awards’ ceremony turned into crappy GOP website that gave most users a 404 error message. Gizmodo described it as a “shitty website—like mid-2000s-WordPress shitty.” Sorry, WordPress. That was the Gizzers, not me. Don’t punish me by putting more crappy ads blocking my header and videos that won’t let readers scroll.

Trump has gone after the media with a very fascist-like zeal. The First Amendment is an amendment Constitutionalists hate. Trump’s supporters, who thought Obama’s NCAA bracket was a waste time that would spark a stock-market panic, praised his idea for a Fake News Award.

Reminder: Fake news is any news Donald Trump doesn’t like. Trump lies like Obama was born in Kenya and wiretapped Trump Tower, are real news. The term “fake news” is growing in popularity as Nazis, Klan members and even actual fascists like The Philippines’ Rodrigo Duterte, Venezuela’s Nicolas Maduro, and Putin have each recently used the term to attack journalists (until they remember how much easier and fun it is to simply throw them off a roof).

For Donald Trump, countering facts is serious business. Congress should get their priorities straight and realize that giving fake awards to The New York Times, The Washington Post, and CNN comes before solving DACA and the impending government shutdown.

I was threatened by the campaigns of comedians, Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Kimmel angling for a Trumpie. Colbert argued he was deserving because he was the “least Breitbarty.” I was afraid their prominence would overshadow political cartoonists, and we’d be left out.

Cartooning colleagues and I argued over who was more dishonest and untrustworthy. Our arguments were becoming heated and tense and just when it was reaching the point of virtually slapping each other, we got robbed. As it turns out, the best I can hope for is a block from Trump’s Twitter account. He didn’t just exclude cartoonists, he dissed all the famous talk-show hosts. Bastard.

And, you know….that really pisses me off. Doesn’t he realize I’ll never live up to the high quality of a Branco or a Ben Garrison (look them up)? Why, I don’t think these Fake News Awards are actual awards at all. Why, They’re FAKE Fake News Awards.

And here I thought that fake Free Speech Award from the fascist Iranian government I got last year was setting a precedent for me.

Fuckers.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude