Trump Fuckery

Fire And Fury


cjones08112017

Today sucked. The Washington Post reported that North Korea can now miniaturize a nuclear warhead, our worst people are on the case, and drawing a fallout shelter stuck a tune from the rock band Fallout Boy in my head. This day was truly terrible.

After the report was published about the DPRK and their nukes, we waited for the president to respond. It’s time to be presidential. He tweeted. He attacked “fake polls” and the “Amazon” Washington Post. Honestly, I think we’re all a little surprised his first response to the North Korea problem wasn’t weighing in on the Chris Pratt/Anna Faris divorce.

Finally, he commented on the North Korea situation and…now we all need bomb shelters. As one of those cartoon gangsters once told Bugs Bunny, “shut up shutting up.” Donald Trump needs to shut up.

We are not to trade rhetorical and bombastic statements with North Korea. There’s no telling what sort of crazy fucker you’re dealing with who issues statements about “fire and fury like the world has never seen,” and that was just from our leader. The North Koreans issued something about us being “wolves trying to strangle them”, which doesn’t even work.

Donald Trump is the last person on the planet who should get into a dick measuring contest. If you challenge North Korea with that sort of threat, there’s a good chance they’re gonna whip it out and you’re gonna see that dick. Nobody wants to see either of these two men’s dicks.

North Korea responded by pointing their dick at Guam. It doesn’t help matters that Trump can’t find Guam on a map.

It was all amusing, fun, and games with Trump content to ruining our health care, education, civil rights, environment, and becoming an international embarrassment. But, now his fuckery is putting lives in danger. Citizens from at least four nations are threatened between two man-babies with nuclear weapons. From the sound of it, both want to see a mushroom cloud in the very near future.

Now is the time when Republicans need to stand up and oppose Donald Trump. We can’t afford to wait for his support to wane from his idiotic base. Why should lives be threatened because stupid people worship a cult of personality? We need leadership now.

A new poll shows seven out of ten people don’t believe anything that’s coming out of the White House. Trump said those are fake polls, but seven out of ten people didn’t buy that. Another poll says a majority of Americans don’t believe Trump can handle North Korea. That’s because he can’t handle North Korea.

We can’t afford another three and a half years of Trump because we can’t afford “fire and fury.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Advertisements

Getting The Memo


cjones05212017

Yesterday I was looking forward to covering a subject other than Donald Trump. I had the topic picked. I came up with an idea I liked. All was going to be swell. Then 5:00 PM came around and like the day before, it brought a new scandal. A really big one. Mondays was really big but Tuesdays may have topped it.

U.S. Senator Susan Collins from Maine asked on Monday “Can we have a crisis-free day?” I’m feeling ya’ Senator, but no. No we can’t. Ed Rogers wrote for The Washington Post that with Trump leaving the country for eight days that will lessen the odds of a daily crisis. I don’t share their optimism. Trump is visiting Arab heads of state, going straight to Israel, and then heading to the Vatican. The potential for him pulling stupid out of the hat runs very high. That 300-lb. fat guy is going to walk the tight rope between Jews and Palestinians in Jerusalem. I have faith something’s going “splat!”

If you work in an office then at some point you’ve been asked if you’ve seen a memo. If not, just watch Office Space. Even if you had seen the memo but you blew something off, you may fall back on the excuse and lie and say you haven’t gotten that memo yet. Right now Republicans and anyone else who supports Donald Trump needs to get the memo.

This memo doesn’t contain any new news. It informs you that Donald Trump lies. Donald Trump is a narcissist. He’s an idiot. He’s corrupt. He’s unqualified for the presidency and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Donald Trump will throw you under the bus and destroy your reputation, even if it’s just to save him a few hours on cable news. If you continue to support Trump, your credibility will be shot and you’ll only be as reliable as Kellyanne Conway. You better get used to people rolling their eyes at you.

Now Republicans have to make a choice. Do they continue to support Donald Trump out of fear from his supporters, or do they get a spine and put country over party? You know? Do their jobs.

On Tuesday afternoon The New York Times reported that James Comey wrote a memo after one of his meetings with Trump. In this memo the former FBI director claims that Trump asked him to kill the agency’s investigation into Michael Flynn. Presidents aren’t supposed to do that. Even Donald Trump.

This came a day after The Washington Post reported that Trump revealed classified information to the Russians. The Times and Post have been very competitive with their investigative journalism since Trump came into office. These two newspapers are doing the strongest journalism in the nation at this time and it’s paying off as both their circulations are increasing. I have a digital subscription to both and I’m proud to support real journalism. Your crazy uncle refers to it as “fake news.” The fact that I have subscriptions and they’re the go-to sources for information is why you see links to them so often here.

The Comey memo is bad news for Trump and it might be the strongest hit to his administration yet. He didn’t even send a flunky out to ruin their reputation by debunking it. They only sent a statement and by this point, a White House denial has about as much currency as Confederate money.

Trump was warned about Michael Flynn by acting-Attorney General Sally Yates. Trump fired Yates. Eighteen days after being warned, he fires Flynn. The day after he fires Flynn he has Comey in the Oval Office.

During the meeting Trump told everyone else in the office to leave the room, including Vice President Mike Pence and Attorney General Jeff Sessions. He asked Comey for his loyalty, as though he’s a tin-pot dictator and the United States isn’t a democracy. He then complained to Comey about leaks, which have been coming from the White House, and asked about jailing reporters who publish leaked information. So much for that Constitution thing. He then said to Comey “I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go. He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go.” Trump wanted Comey to drop the FBI’s investigation and let it go.

Comey did not let it go. He ramped up the investigation by asking for more funds. The day after that he was fired by Trump. His spokespeople said the investigation did not weigh into the decision to fire Comey. Trump threw them under the bus a day later by telling Lester Holt that the investigation was on his mind when he fired Comey.

This is bad for Trump. Even Jason Chaffetz, the Republican who loves Benghazi hearings, wants to see the memo. Chaffetz chairs the House Oversight Committee. There will be subpoenas.

Even a few Republicans are talking impeachment. It may be too soon for that as there’s very fine parsing over defining obstruction of justice. But this trail leads to Trump firing people, stating he wanted the investigation to end, and then asking Comey to drop it, and then firing Comey.  This trail may wind all the way to a trial in the United States Senate.

Trump has to hope for two things. That Republicans will continue to live in fear of him and that people believe his word over Comey’s. Ha!

There’s been a lot of criticism of James Comey but none of that has been about his honesty. Trump’s honesty is not questioned. He would have to have some first. Trump is a pathological liar. In Trump’s first 100 days he told 492 false or misleading claims. In other words, lies. He employs people to lie. Trump is less honest than a professional baseball player on steroids.

Trump lies. He’s dishonest. He’s corrupt. He’s a buffoonish-man-baby. His mouth is taking him down and everyone who continues to support him and their reputations along with it.

Did you not get that memo?

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Badenov Meets Blabalot


cjones05202017

I imagine all the voices in Donald Trump’s head sound like Bullwinkle.

For once I’m in agreement with Trump. We can’t have someone in the Oval Office who can’t tell the difference between classified and unclassified information. That’s what Donald Trump said on the campaign trail. His supporters said that. Paul Ryan said it. They were all talking about Hillary Clinton. Coming to the surprise of no one, Donald Trump is the one who can’t be trusted.

The Washington Post has reported that when Trump was hosting Russians in the Oval Office that he revealed highly classified information. The story on the Post’s site is their most viewed since they reported Trump’s bus conversation about grabbing vaginas.

The sources tell the Post that the information Trump shared with the ambassador, the foreign minister, and probably the Russian journalists in the room, has jeopardized a critical source of information on the Islamic State. This is information we received from an ally and if they weren’t afraid of giving us secrets before, they are now.

The White House sent H.R. McMaster, the national security adviser, to tell the press that “it” didn’t happen. McMaster told the press “At no time were any intelligence sources or methods discussed, and no military operations were disclosed that were not already known publicly.” The problem with that statement is that McMaster disputed something the Post did not report. The Post didn’t report on sources or methods. They reported that Trump had disclosed information drawn from sensitive sources.

One thing McMaster did not comment on, and he didn’t take questions, was why White House officials took steps to contain the damage, placing calls to the CIA and the National Security Agency. Hey, guess what fucknuts just did.

Sources say our 70-year-old man-baby president was boasting and said “I get great intel. I have people brief me on great intel every day.” One source said Trump “revealed more information to the Russian ambassador than we have shared with our own allies.”

It’s really difficult to say you’re not in collusion with the Russians when you ask them from the campaign trail to leak information about your opponent. Or when you hire people who keep conducting secret meetings with Russians and they all lie about it. Or you hire foreign agents. Or when you invite the Russians into the Oval Office and allow their “journalists” into the room but bar the American press. Or how about the time Donald Trump fired the FBI director and basically admitted that it was because he was investigating his ties to Russia?

Trump supporters screamed “lock her up” regarding Hillary Clinton storing classified information in emails on a private server. Expect a deafening silence from them in regards to Trump just handing classified information over to Putin. However, several Republicans are starting to question the president and are recognizing there is chaos, or in this case, a dumpster fire.

Tennessee Senator Bob Corker said the White House is in a “downward spiral.” If that puts an image of a drain in your head, you’re not alone. Perhaps Corker will suggest to the president that he put a cork in it.

If only we had some way of knowing that Trump is immature, insecure, a braggart, emotionally and mentally unstable, or just maybe one sign before the election that he’s totally incompetent. The guy doesn’t even know how to tie a tie or sit in a chair like an adult. Why should we expect him to conduct himself like one?

Trump has already revealed classified information in the past to casual diners at Mar-a-Lago. The bad thing is, Trump can reveal whatever classified information he wants. The president has that authority. Even if he’s an idiot. Perhaps because he’s an idiot he should be removed from office. His release of classified information is dangerous to servicemen working in the intelligence agency, and dangerous to the United States in general. A careless individual should not be in possession of the nuclear football, or allow casual diners to take selfies with it.

I don’t look forward to a Mike Pence presidency, but it’s possible Mike Pence will take national security a bit more seriously than Trump, or at least not feel the need to impress house guests, or have a hissy-fit if he doesn’t get the most ice cream.

The Trump presidency has confirmed three things: Aliens did not land in Roswell, the moon landing was not faked, and time travel will never exist. Trump would have blabbed by now about the first two and Marty McFly would have proven the third by showing up on January 20th and stopping this shit.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.