Trump Corruption

Bribes For Pardons


cjones12032020

This just in: Donald Trump is corrupt. Oh wait. We already knew that.

Details remain sketchy, but last night, reports came out that federal prosecutors have been pursuing an investigation into potential bribery in connection with an effort to secure a pardon from Donald Trump.

Last August, Chief U.S. District Court Judge Beryl Howell issued an opinion in a form that redacted the name of the person seeking a pardon…and offering to make a contribution to Donald Trump’s presidential campaign…where a lot of the funds wind up in Donald Trump’s pocket. The judge granted prosecutors permission to examine emails from lawyers seeking the pardon for whoever their client may be.

How does that work with this Justice Department? Attorney General William Barr, despite being unable to find any evidence of voter fraud, is basically Donald Trump’s henchman, poodle, and personal lawyer. The guy had the department act as Trump’s personal lawyer in a case where Donald Trump is being sued over slandering one of his rape accusers. The accuser is not suing the president. She’s suing Donald Trump. Yet, Barr found it necessary for the Justice Department and taxpayers to foot the bill for his legal defense. In all the other personal legal defenses since he became president (sic), Donald Trump has used campaign funds…which of course you can pay into to receive a pardon…reportedly. Maybe the person being investigated for trying to bribe for a pardon can receive a pardon for trying to bribe for a pardon.

Do you remember the entire “pay for play” scandal the Republican Party concocted about the Clinton Foundation? They claimed foreign nations were making donations to the charity in exchange for special favors from the State Department while Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State. They claimed Clinton sold American uranium to Russia in exchange for donations. Before Trump became president (sic), the FBI looked into it and couldn’t find anything. After Trump became president (sic), the Justice Department officially opened an investigation into the Clinton Foundation. That began in 2017. Have you heard what has become of that investigation? Me neither.

So how does it work when the Justice Department investigates Trump corruption? Do they not tell William Barr? Do investigators go through all the proper channels and hope William Barr pays as much attention as Donald Trump does to security briefings that doesn’t mention his name? We do know investigators didn’t want any of this made public, especially the names of those involved. That makes sense because after Barr finds out, he may shut it down while he’s walking out the door to his retirement.

We do know the investigation rose from a separate investigation into people lobbying for pardons and whether they were violating the law by not registering as lobbyists. We also know that over 50 devices such as phones, laptops, and iPads have been confiscated in this investigation.

We also know this is all true and Donald Trump is a guilty party because he issued a tweet calling it “fake news.” Nearly everything Donald Trump says is a lie. EVERY denial he’s ever issued has been a lie.

But you do remember how Republicans acted over the Clinton Foundation. They were aghast and all lit up over the “pay for play” of it all. They chanted “lock her up” at MAGA rallies. They still do that chant between chants of “Space Force” and “send them back.” Lately, they’ve been falsely accusing Joe Biden of running a corrupt charity. Republicans are horny for investigating charities…except for Trump’s charity.

Here’s another thing: Even if Donald Trump and his administration are totally innocent and said, “No, sir…we do not do anything shady, improper, inappropriate, or illegal. You take your bribe and shove it where the sun never shines, you scoundrel you” (that did not happen), someone still thought with Donald Trump, it was a possibility. Someone thought Donald Trump’s ethics were low enough to take a bribe. Someone thought Donald Trump is corrupt. Do you know why anyone would think that? Because Donald Trump is corrupt.

Donald Trump is legally prohibited from being involved in a charity. Why? Because he stole from his charity…literally. You can assume Hillary did something bad with her foundation. We know Trump did. Donald Trump used his charity in tandem with his presidential campaign which is illegal. He used his charity to pay off legal fines for his shitty golf resorts. He used his charity to purchase expensive ticket items for himself, like portraits of himself (but he’s never purchased one of my caricatures of him. I wonder why). And when Florida Republican Attorney General Pam Bondi was considering investigating the actions of Trump University (another corrupt endeavor that doesn’t exist anymore) in her state, she shut down the inquiry AFTER receiving a campaign donation from…wait for it…the Trump Foundation. Donald Trump used his fake charity to bribe an official to save his fake university. Do you know who put money into Donald Trump’s fake charity? NOT Donald Trump. Today, Pam Bondi is still a pro-Trump surrogate and cult member.

Donald Trump literally used his charity to make a political contribution to bribe an elected official. Is it beyond him, an elected official, to take bribes for pardons? Hell no. He’s Donald Trump. Being corrupt is what he does.

It seems we’re founding out about more Trump fuckery on a daily basis. I worry about what’s being shredded and burned in the White House before Donald Trump is frog marched out. How many transcripts is he burning? What documents are being destroyed? And did anyone count the silverware? We still haven’t found out what happened to all the money that went into his inauguration…which by the way, was four fucking years ago. Republicans don’t ask about any of this…maybe because they’re too busy draining the swamp.

And now, it’s come out that Trump has had conversations with Rudy Giuliani and others about preemptive pardons for Rudy, his three oldest and corrupt kids, and his own corrupt ass. This should be fun. By the way, the family that goes to prison together stays together.

Yes, we are finding out more and more dirt about Trump corruption on a daily basis. Can you imagine what we’ll find out in the coming months and years? Hell, we’re still discovering shit about the Nixon administration that makes us say, “DAMN.” I just hope I found out everything about these Trump assholes before I die.

Trump is also talking about running again in 2024. And guess what. You can run for president from prison.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Goodbye, Turkeys


cjones11272020

I’m breaking a couple of my rules with this cartoon. One is, I’ve drawn enough turkeys this year. The other is drawing a cartoon with a holiday theme that’s dated after the holiday. This is dated for Friday, which as you probably know, is AFTER Thanksgiving. But, I don’t make my clients embargo my cartoons by the dates, which means they can run them as soon as they get them.

But, I like drawing turkeys…and I like drawing Trump goons. And in my defense, how many more opportunities do I have to draw these people? Have you seen the type of people Joe Biden’s putting in his administration? Adults! How am I supposed to work with that?

In the Biden administration, I don’t see any inept son-in-laws wanting to create a back channel with Russia while taking loans from Arab kingdoms. I don’t see a daughter and her husband receiving security clearances when they don’t qualify. I don’t see a veep lavishing worship on the boss every minute while attracting flies. I don’t see an Attorney General turning the Justice Department into an agency that acts as the president’s personal attorney…which they did in going to court to block a civil suit against Trump by one of his sexual accusers. I don’t see a baby Goebbels in this administration writing policies that’ll kill immigrant children. I don’t see a goon going to prison whose sentence the president will commute. Say what you want about Hunter, but I don’t see a son in this administration as stupid as Donald Trump Jr. I don’t see a personal attorney spreading conspiracy theories outside a dildo store while his hair is leaking transmission fluid. I don’t see the president encouraging right-wing terrorists to shoot and murder protesters or telling them to “stand by.” I don’t see Nazis and Klansmen holding parades for this incoming president. I don’t even see hamburgers.

So, how much fun do I have left? It’s not like next Thanksgiving, when President Joe Biden is pardoning a turkey, I can compare it to him pardoning his goons, children, or even himself. Sheesh! What sort of presidency is this going to be for cartoonists? We have been spoiled by Donald Trump. With Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I’m going to have to go back to writing my own material. Dammit all.

Sure. Joe Biden has gaffes but they’re not going to make up for a president (sic) who tries to redirect a hurricane with a Sharpie, or asks about nuking that hurricane, or advises people to rake forests, or talks about windmill cancer. Joe Biden has never gone to a debate and talked about the size of his penis. Seriously, people…you left me nothing to work with here.

Maybe our new Secretary of State will scream at a reporter and challenge her to find Ukraine on a map. No? He’s not an asshole? Aw, man!

Maybe Ashley Biden will sit in for the president at international summits, or get a bunch of Chinese patents, or be investigated for tax fraud. No? She’s not corrupt? Maybe Jill Biden will say “fuck Christmas.” I know. Not very likely when you replace a porn model with a teacher who has a doctorate.

Thanks a lot, America. Sure. You saved the nation from a stupid narcissistic racist reality TV show host and his grifting, and now we’ll stop putting babies in jail and ripping families apart. We’ll save the climate, perhaps stop palling around with dictatorships, and start using complete sentences again…but at what cost? Did you think about the cartoonists and comedians? Did you not think about the satire? No, you didn’t. I hope you’re proud of yourself, America.

It’s not fair. Even the democratic goons Biden could have hired, Donald Trump took. I don’t even have a Blagojevich with this administration. Shit.

So because of all that, you get another turkey cartoon. You can’t blame me. All I have left is an administration full of adults to try to make something out of with my cartoons.

And the fact Donald Trump and his goons will never go away or stop tweeting. Never ever ever. I guess there’s that.

Update: I went back and added Michael Flynn after he was pardoned today.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Goodbye, Jerk


cjones11182020

Right now, Donald Trump is in the denial stage. He believes he’s won the election and it was stolen from him. But even Hitler in his bunker at some point realized the Soviets were knocking on his door and the war was lost.

Is Trump’s denial greater than Hitler’s? Donald Trump doesn’t even have evidence to base his “stolen election” argument on. Even his lawyers have had to admit that in court as they watch their cases get thrown out.

There is no plausible way for Donald Trump to win the election. He would have to get votes he doesn’t have, that don’t exist, to overturn multiple states where his margin of defeat is greater than his 2016 margin of victory. He would have to overturn an election in a state run by Republicans…where the votes were counted by Republicans. The last grasp for Donald Trump will be to convince Republican legislatures to violate their own state laws and give him their electors.

Donald Trump is in such denial that he’s put Rudy Giuliani in charge of his fraudulent case of election stealing. He’s put a sycophant in charge of stealing the election. The entire hopes of the Trump administration rests on the mind and skills of the guy who confused Four Seasons Hotel for Four Seasons Landscaping and held a press conferences next to a dildo store. Donald Trump has put all his faith into the guy who was tricked by Borat. I hope Rudy gets his own show on Trump TV.

A more likely outcome will be Donald Trump waddling out of the White House with his pants around his ankles and his arms with as much stuff as he can grift out of the White House…then spending the rest of his life tweeting that he’s still president.

As many people on social media have said, “Melania ‘be best’ packing.” But what all will Donald Trump pack. What will he grift from the government in his final weeks, days, hours? Seriously, they should check his pockets as he’s weebling out the door. For that matter, they should check every bag of every member of his administration. How much loot can Javanka carry out?

Prediction: Days, weeks, months, and years after he leaves the White House, we’ll read reports on what he and his administration took with them. Expect the large from government contracts, to the petty, like lamps and chairs. Look for stolen computer equipment and office furniture. Am I being petty? No. I have watched these people for the past four years and they don’t have ethics. They will steal everything that’s not nailed to the floor. In fact, maybe we should start nailing things to the floor. I just hope the Resolute Desk isn’t missing when Joe Biden walks into the Oval Office.

If Donald Trump wants a token from the worst presidential term in the history of presidents, American history, world history, history of the Kiwanis presidents, history of Hair Club for Men presidents…the worst ever…let him take that Andrew Jackson painting. Hopefully, we’ll never have another president as racist as Donald Trump who will want to hang it in the Oval Office. Donald Trump can take that Andrew Jackson painting and hang it in one of his shitty golf resorts next to all the fake Time Magazine covers.

This entire presidency has been delusional. We never got a wall on the border paid for by Mexico. They never found those millions of illegal votes from 2016. Trump never got that Nobel Prize. He’s not going to get his head on Mount Rushmore. And…he’s not going to get a second term.

Donald Trump will go out saying he doesn’t need anything…except your money, our money, MAGA rallies, and a TV network dedicated to his delusions so he can continue to spread lies and hate to his millions of fucknut followers.

But we don’t need Donald Trump, his lies, or his delusions.

Goodbye, Trump. Goodbye, Grifter. And if you haven’t stolen it, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Creative note: I used this concept in April, 2017. I thought I was in a good place since neither of my proofer’s remembered that.

Update: I’ll provide this update in tomorrow’s blog too. I think I should be open and share this as maybe it’ll help others. I got the phone call this morning and I have tested positive for the coronavirus.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Digging With Bannon


cjones08242020

In the Mel Brooks film, Blazing Saddles, Gene Wilder’s character explains the town people’s racism to Cleavon Little with, “These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know…morons.”

People like Steve Bannon are not morons. People like Steve Bannon take advantage of morons. Morons are the people who read the racist white nationalist shit Steve Bannon wrote for Brietbart. Morons are the people Steve Bannon aims political campaigns toward. Morons are the people who vote for Donald Trump. And just in case you too are a moron, for your information, Donald Trump is a moron.

Steve Bannon has been indicted (surprised?) in a scheme of taking money from people to build a wall on the U.S. southern border. He was nabbed yesterday while on a boat. This morning, Mike Pence complained that Joe Biden never mentioned China during his speech which is funny because that boat Bannon was on is owned by a billionaire Chinese fugitive. When I say “boat,” I mean a $35-million yacht.

Also, there’s irony in this investigation because it was partly conducted by the United States Postal Service.

In this scheme aimed at morons, Steve Bannon and cohorts were promising to take donated money to help Donald Trump build his racist wall. That’s the nice thing about racists. They’re all morons.

Here’s the deal, kids. You can’t just take a bunch of money and build a wall wherever you want. Try it on your neighbor’s property and see how they react. And, you can’t give that money to the government and direct it to build a wall. Now, here’s the fun part I really hope the morons are paying attention to: When you send money to the United States government, it’s Congress that decides where it’s going to be spent. Basically, when you send money to Washington, you’re sending it to Nancy Pelosi. You could be funding life-saving abortions, a project to save the environment, or even worse, to help put a poor black child through college. Egads!

In court, Steve Bannon pleaded not guilty to charges of wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering conspiracy. He was released on a $5 million bond which is stupid because they literally nabbed the guy on a boat owned by a fugitive out in the ocean. While leaving, Bannon said, “This entire fiasco is to stop people who want to build the wall.” If you believe him, you’re a moron.

Kris Kobach, the former Kansas secretary of state, served on the board of the company running this scam. Kobach was also a part of Donald Trump’s scam where he created a commission to study the millions who voted illegally…then disbanded when they couldn’t find any illegal voters. Others on the board are Erik Prince (that Blackwater fucker who’s Betsy DeVos brother), Curt Schilling (former racist baseball player. He’s still a racist), Sheriff David Clarke (insane black guy who hates black guys), Tom Trancedo (a former racist congressman who’s still a racist), and a bunch of other right-wing goons. Unfortunately, none of these listed were indicted with Bannon. But the founder, Brian Kolfage, was.

What these guys did was raise a bunch of money to build the wall, put up some crap disguised as a wall on a five-mile stretch along the border where they thought they could get away with it (it’s falling down and being challenged in court), and then they went shopping. Kolfage bought a boat. What is it with these goons and boats? Oh yeah. They all might have to flee the country someday without a passport.

Donald Trump said he didn’t know anything about it. Like he didn’t know anything about David Duke or QAnon. Then, despite not knowing anything about it, Donald Trump said he never liked it and thought it was “being done for showboating reasons.” Again…boats. In 2019, Donald Trump’s number one moron son, Jr, said at a fundraising event for the project that it was “private enterprise at its finest.” I half expected that fundraiser to have been on a boat.

Steve Bannon is the seventh Trump goon to be charged with federal crimes. He now joins that club that is becoming less and less exclusive with Roger Stone, Michael Cohen, Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, etc. It seems half the people who formerly worked for Trump are being arrested and the other half are saying they never should have worked for Donald Trump.

This is just another reason in the long list of reasons not to vote for Donald Trump. He only associates with goons. Why is that? Because he is a goon. And in the past, we never talked about the ability to obtain a security clearance as being a qualifier for the presidency, but we should talk about it.

If you associate with bad people, like seven of them who are going to prison, you wouldn’t be able to get a security clearance. Why? Because only goons hang out with that many goons. Donald Trump has even had to force the FBI to give a security clearance to goons they rejected, like moron son-in-law Jared Kushner and moron daughter Ivanka. For that matter, Donald Trump would NEVER be able to get a security clearance if he wasn’t president.

Donald Trump hangs out with too many goons to get a security clearance. He hangs out with too many goons to be president. But, I genuinely hope he continues to hang out with goons after his presidency is over.

I hope he hangs out with them in prison. Steve can bring the spoon.

Note: Facebook will not allow me to post the link to this page today and gave me a notice that all links to my site, claytoonz.com, have been banned from their platform because some right-wing, who probably complains about “cancel culture” and censorship, reported it as “abusive.” Currently, I have posted the image to Facebook. Please go to my Facebook page and reshare with the share button.

These Trump people, maybe even the Trump campaign itself has shutdown my merchandise on one outlet, have gone after me on Instragram, and now they’ve got me on Facebook. Just like I fought and won with the others, I’m going to fight this. This actually cuts into my income as hits from Facebook generate revenue.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

A Mythical A.G.


cjones08012020

The thing that annoys me most about Republicans who have joined the Trump cult is they don’t have principles. They’re all about reduced government spending until Donald Trump runs up the national debt. They’re all about patriotism until Donald Trump insults veterans and allows Putin to place bounties on soldiers’ lives. They used to be about family values until Mr. five-kids-with-three-wives-pussy-grabber came along. They can’t find a principled position to take a stand on. Today, the sycophantic Qanon conspiracy theorists for Trump warns us all about the deep state lizard people, but if Donald Trump appointed a few lizard people to his administration, they’d all be like, “Thank you, President (sic) Trump, for the lizard people.”

And who says Donald Trump hasn’t appointed lizard people? They were all about draining the swamp but didn’t protest against him appointing campaign contributors to ambassadorships. They didn’t protest his cabinet members gifting themselves at our expense. They don’t protest Trump enriching himself on our dime. They don’t protest foreign diplomats staying at Trump hotels. They don’t protest Trump charging the Secret Service for golf cart rentals. Hell, they were even against a president playing golf until Donald Trump spent over $300 million of our money on his golf trips.

Maybe Donald Trump’s deep state lizard person is Attorney General William Barr. Trump sycophants worry about fictional corruption, like Hillary Clinton personally selling our uranium supply to Russia, but they ignore the Attorney General being Donald Trump’s personal goon who has transformed the Justice Department into the Donald Trump Personal Protection and Racketeering Agency.

While testifying before Congress and declaring he wasn’t Donald Trump’s personal poodle installed only to be his Roy Cohn, William Barr repeated several bullshit Trumpian talking points.

William Barr used the Donald Trump talking point that cops kill more white people than black people. There are more white people in the nation than black people. Statistically, cops kill more blacks. William Barr went to college. He has a law degree. He’s smart enough to know the talking point he crapped out of his mouth was pure and total grade-A racist bullshit.

Barr claimed President Obama spied on Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. No, Obama did not. The FBI tracked a couple of suspected Russian spies who worked for the Trump campaign. That is not spying. If tracking on suspected Russian spies was spying on the Trump campaign, then what does that make the Trump campaign? It’s hard to say you’re not Trump’s personal attorney when your Justice Department, like Donald Trump, is more concerned about the well being of Russian spies than about the people investigating said spies.

William Barr repeated Donald Trump’s accusation that President Obama didn’t restock the nation’s stockpile of PPE, ignoring the fact Donald Trump has been president for over three years. After spending three years staring at your own empty closet, you can’t blame its emptiness on the guy who owned it before you. Again, it’s been three years. Are the salt shakers empty in the White House cafeteria? Are you going to blame Obama for that?

William Barr carried out Trump’s talking point that all Black Lives Matter protesters are violent which is why unidentified secret police are needed to invade American cities and teargas and hit Vietnam veterans and mothers over the heads with billy clubs.

William Barr repeated Trump’s claim he had “no responsibility” for testing failures which extend to Trump having no fault for the lack of any national plan to confront the virus or any blame for the death of over 150,000 Americans.

William Barr carried on the Trump talking point that mail-in voting was ripe for voter fraud…despite the fact he and Trump have both voted through that method.

Barr claimed the clearing of protesters with tear gas and goons on horses in front of the White House and Trump’s visit minutes later through the clearing to visit St. John’s church on June 1 were totally unrelated.

Finally, William Barr said “Antifa” about 98 times during the hearing. Here’s a fact for you: There is no such organization called “Antifa.”

Quite frankly, I’m shocked William Barr didn’t make a pitch to host the G7 at Doral and the British Open at Trump Turdberry.

William Barr can’t defend himself.  The only legal cases he’s personally interjected himself into are those that concern Donald Trump’s goons.

He’s fired U.S. Attorneys investigating Donald Trump’s friends. He overruled his own department’s prosecutors and has asked a court to drop all charges against Michael Flynn (who’s probably a Russian spy). He recommended a sentence reduction for Trump goon Roger Stone before Donald Trump commuted his sentence.

During the hearing, Representative Eric Swalwell reminded Barr that during his confirmation, he said it would be a crime for a president to issue a pardon in exchange for the recipient’s promise to not incriminate him. When asked why he wasn’t investigating Donald Trump for issuing a commutation of his personal goon Roger Stone’s prison sentence, which was granted after Stone didn’t turn on Trump and even bragged that he lied to protect Donald Trump, William fucking Barr said, “Why should I?”. Because you’re the fucking Attorney General, asshole, and Roger Stone told you explicitly he broke the law to protect Donald Trump who then saved him from going to prison.

It was pointed out Barr has never personally intervened in a case involving someone who’s not a Trump goon. He’s never sought to throw out a sentence or have one reduced for anyone who’s not a GOT, Goon of Trump’s. He also pleaded ignorance to knowing any details about why Michael Cohen was sent back to prison for refusing to agree not to talk to the media or write a book on Donald Trump.

William Barr is a Trump goon. He also denied systemic racism exists in America’s police departments. How about the Justice Department? Representative Cedric Richmond pointed out that when Barr came to the hearing, he brought his top staff which didn’t include any black people. Richmond pointed out that’s systemic racism. At the start of the hearing, Barr paid his respects to civil rights icon John Lewis. Richmond told Barr, “You really should keep the name of the Honorable John Lewis out of the Department of Justice’s mouth.” Later, Senator Kamala Harris said, “Bill Barr hasn’t lifted a finger as Attorney General to protect voting rights in America. He has no business speaking John Lewis’s name.”

Even when he was asked if it would be “appropriate for a president to solicit assistance” from a foreign government during an election,” Barr said, “It depends on what kind of assistance” before backtracking and saying no. You know what kind of assistance. The illegal kind. That’s the only kind of foreign assistance to a presidential campaign. I’m not even a lawyer and I know that. Another thing I know that the Attorney General of the United Freaking States doesn’t is that a president canNOT move an election date.

It’s hard to declare your independence from Donald Trump when you repeat Donald Trump’s lying talking points and act as his fat human shield. William Barr is a liar and a Trump goon. He’s as corrupt as Donald Trump.

Quite frankly, we’d be safer with the lizard people.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trumpet Crumpets


cjones07282020

Donald Trump is corrupt. His cult points at him donating his salary to different government agencies while ignoring his frequent trips to his own golf resorts and every foreign diplomat and Republican in Washington, D.C. booking hotel and party rooms at his hotels. Attorney General William Barr spent over $30,000 to rent a conference room at Trump’s Washington hotel for an asshole party. There are other hotels and conference rooms in Washington, D.C. Former Secretary of the Interior Scott Pruitt tried to buy a used mattress from the Trump hotel. There are better places to buy a mattress in the Washington, D.C, area, and maybe even get one at a better price that didn’t have Russian hookers doing lord-knows-what-disgusting things on it.

When Donald Trump visits his shitty golf resorts, the governments has to book rooms. That means they have to pay for them. In fact, they have to book rooms surrounding the dates for Trump’s visits for security purposes and the possibility that he’ll stay longer. We, you and I, still have to pay for those rooms. The Trump Organization isn’t cutting us any slack. Donald Trump even charges the Secret Service rent at Trump Tower and for the use of golf carts to follow him around while he cheats at golf by stealing little boys’ balls. The motherfucker literally charges the Secret Service to protect his fat orange ass.

Donald Trump promised to drain the swamp. But the mere fact he’s continued Washington’s swampy ways is that he awards ambassadorships to campaign contributors. For example, the ambassadorship to the United Kingdom is probably the most lucrative diplomatic post we have and Donald Trump gave it to a guy named Woody. Woody Johnson is a billionaire and the owner of The New York Jets. He gave over a million dollars to the Trump Inauguration Committee where millions of dollars have just vanished. It’s like nobody’s even looking into that anymore. Zip. Bye-bye, money. For his donation, Woody got London.

Now, it’s been revealed that Woody was poking around trying to get the British Open, which is a golf tournament, to be awarded to…wait for it…oh fuck it, you know where this is going…to one of Donald Trump’s shitty resorts. Shockingly enough, he was trying to get it to one of Trump’s resorts in the UK and not one in the U.S.

When Donald Trump first banned travel from Europe because of the coronavirus pandemic, he made exceptions for nations that had…wait for it…oh you know this….exceptions for nations that had Trump resorts. Why? Because Donald Trump is corrupt. We need to talk about this a lot more often.

Woody apparently brought the subject up to Scotland’s Secretary of State. Scotland is where Trump’s Turnberry resort is located. In case you’re a Republican, Scotland is a country that’s part of the United Kindom. This is something that probably confused Trump previously as he’s shown confusion over what is the United Kingdom, England, Britain, and person, woman, man, camera, TV.

Woody told several colleagues he was going to make the request and his deputy, Lewis Lukens, a holdover from the Obama administration, told him it was a really bad idea. Asking for a personal favor, basically, a bribe to the president of the United States isn’t just not diplomatic, but it’s unethical and…wait for it again…has to be illegal.

Lukens was fired. Now, there’s confusion over whether he was fired for not liking the idea of asking host nations for bribes or if he was dismissed for saying something nice about President Obama at a diplomatic function. You know what type of little titty babies these people are in the Trump administration.

Woody Johnson tweeted, “I have followed the ethical rules and requirements of my office at all times,” which was about as much a denial as Congressman Ted Yoho’s apology to congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for calling her a “fucking bitch” was an actual apology.

Donald Trump claimed he never spoke to Woody Johnson about it which is either a lie or the truth as he could have spoken to someone else to speak to Johnson about it. And, while denying that he was trying to benefit his property as president (sic), Donald Trump promoted his property from the presidency. He said, “No, I never spoke to Woody Johnson about that, about Turnberry. Turnberry’s a highly respected course, as you know, one of the best in the world. I read a story about it today, and I never spoke to Woody Johnson about doing that, no.” Also, you can probably get a really sweet deal on a used mattress from Turdberry.

Is Donald Trump the kind of guy who’d use his office to profit? Is he the kind of guy who’d ask for a major golf tournament to be hosted at one of his resorts? We do know he’s the kind of guy who’d try to host the G-7 at one of his shitty resorts.

Turdberry is a major money sucker and Trump has lost millions in it. He’s been craving for a major golf tournament to be hosted at one of his resorts for years but he’s been denied again and again. Why? Because his golf courses are crap. Several of his resorts are losing money, like Doral in Miami which is why he wanted the G-7 to be hosted there. Also, Doral is full of bedbugs so be careful if you go mattress shopping from a Trump property.

Donald Trump is corrupt. He’s raking in millions without even asking…but he’s asking too. And there’s no better way to lose respect in the international community than for our president (sic) to be asking our allies for bribes. It’s a bribe. Make no mistake about it. Bribe, bribe, bribity, bribe, bribe. It’s a fucking bribe. It’s not just unethical, it’s a crime for which Donald Trump should eventually go to fucking federal prison…among all the other multiple crimes he’s committed that he should go to fucking federal prison for.

And the new normal in Trump corruption is that this story lasted a day. It was swept aside for his canceling a convention in Jacksonville and for, “Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV.” It’s scary enough the Trump cult doesn’t care about Trump’s corruption, but that the rest of have become used to it. This is a big freaking deal. Everyone needs to freak out about it. I am. Can we all agree it’s wrong for the president (sic) to enrich himself from his office? Can we agree it’s wrong for the president (sic) to ask for bribes?

And since Republicans in Washington won’t remove Donald Trump for being corrupt, the responsibility is on us. We need to remove him in November. It’s important.

Donald Trump is corrupt and his supporters have a Woody for it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Sewage And Stones


cjones07142020

First off, if commuting the sentence for Trump friend, goon, henchman, pal, buddyboy, creeper, slimeball of the first degree, and all-around wart on the taint of humanity Roger Stone wasn’t corrupt, then it wouldn’t have been done late on a Friday night.

Why do fuckers do dastardly deeds on Fridays after 5:00 PM? Because it’s an attempt to limit the political damage as people aren’t paying as much attention to the news at that point. Even I, a news junkie, was eating a sub while watching “Ralph Breaks the Internet” when it came over my phone. Sons of bitches! I was already overloaded with three other subjects to choose from for my next cartoon.

I mean, I still haven’t done something on the Supreme Court and Trump’s taxes, his cognitive test, Goya, or the TikTok ban. Sheesh! I’m going to have to work throughout the weekend.

Donald Trump commuted Roger Stone’s sentence days before he was to be ass-raped in a federal penitentiary in Georgia. Commuting instead of pardoning is probably Donald Trump’s compromise with everyone in the White House who advised him it was a horrible fucking idea to pardon a corrupt sleazebag with a Nixon tattoo on his back. Especially when that corrupt sleazebag is guilty.

Kayleigh McEnany, White House spokesgoon, issued a statement that reads like a Trump tweet. It even had exclamation points (Roger Stone is free!). Now keep in mind, spokesBarbie promised she would never lie to us.

In the statement, she referred to the Russia investigation as a “hoax.” It was not. She claimed the investigation of Stone and the charges were because the Mueller investigation they couldn’t find evidence of collusion between Trump and Russia (they found evidence and Robert Mueller didn’t rule there wasn’t collusion). She argued they went after Stone because of his “outspoken” support for Trump. Never mind the fact Roger Stone lied before Congress. Of course to these goons, lying isn’t criminal.

The judge in the case said, “He was not convicted and is not being sentenced for exercising his First Amendment rights, his support of the President’s campaign or his policies. He was not prosecuted, as some have complained, for standing up for the President. He was prosecuted for covering up for the President.”

In her statement, McEnany described Stone’s crimes as “alleged.” SpokesBarbie went to Harvard Law School. She should know that crimes are NOT “alleged” when a jury finds the party guilty on seven counts. She should keep this in mind because it’s definitely going to come up again…a lot.

McEnany also argued that Stone’s health is fragile and placing him in a federal prison in Georgia would expose him to the coronavirus. So what? I thought the White House supported Trump’s contention the coronavirus is 99 percent harmless?

Even Attorney General William Barr agreed with the prosecution and verdict saying they were “righteous” and “fair.” Remember, this is the same fucknut who tried to bury the Mueller report and has helped Trump engage in coverups.

Donald Trump’s commutation of Roger Stone’s sentence falls in line with his firing of the U.S. attorney in New York investigating Trump goons Rudy Giuliani, Lev, and Igor (seriously, motherfuckers named “Lev” and “Igor” are guilty). It’s in line with him putting pressure on the Justice Department dropping its case against Trump goon Michael Flynn. Shortly after the election, expect at least a commutation of the sentence for Trump goon Paul Manafort.

The president’s power to pardon and commute is for righting actual wrongs, not for rewarding friends for not turning over on you. It’s not to be used politically. It’s not to be used for personal interest. Once again, for Donald Trump, everything is about Donald Trump. Just like the nuclear codes, Donald Trump shouldn’t have this power. Donald Trump shouldn’t be in the White House. Before being elected, Donald Trump is the kind of guy the Secret Service would stop before being allowed on a White House tour. I’m sorry, you’re friends are named “Lev” and “Igor?”

The Justice Department’s sole mission in the Trump era is to be the Department of Defending Donald Trump. Donald Trump’s sole mission as president is to help Donald Trump.

The commutation of Stone’s sentence isn’t just a reward, it’s to keep him from talking. A few days, weeks, or months in a federal prison cell may influence Stone to change his mind and start squealing. So far, Stone has been a good soldier and has kept his mouth shut, but it’s not because of principles or ethics. Look at the guy. He’s a dirty trickster. He is a goon. He doesn’t have real friends. He’s the kind of guy who willingly gets a Nixon tattoo on his back, which might actually come in handy as butt-rape deterrent (who wants to look at that?). He tried to stop one associate from testifying by threatening to kill their dog (Trump should lose the dog lover vote for that alone). If he didn’t believe there was a reward in his future for not talking, he would have talked. And Donald Trump, who isn’t loyal to anyone, is not the guy to die on a cross for.

Trump’s supporters used the whatabout defense last night, as in, “but what about Obama?” Yeah, President Obama pardoned a lot of people. But President Obama didn’t use pardons and commutations as rewards for his friends.

Of course, for that to have happened, President Obama would have had to be like Donald Trump and have thieves, goons, henchmen, and corrupt assholes as friends.

Creative note: While walking near Times Square in Manhattan, I came across some city workers going into the sewers. I told them, “Beware of the C.H.U.D.s”. They were like, “What? Chuds? What the hell is a chud?” They looked at me like I was crazy, which admittedly, I get from time to time. I told them the C.H.U.D.s were from that 80s cult classic about Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers in the sewers of New York City. They had never heard of it. It seems to me if your job requires you to go into the sewers of Manhattan, you might want to be familiar with the C.H.U.D.s. Sheesh.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Classified Lies


cjones06212020

You can’t say Donald Trump isn’t qualified for the presidency because a lot of people wrote books about how awful he is. Every president has had that. But no president has been criticized as much or as harshly as Donald Trump has been by people who worked for him.

While Donald Trump can call them all sorts of names and question their credibility, they’re his people. The guy who promised he’d hire the best people chose them. These are not Democrats.

You might look at Omarosa and think, “Yeah, she’s nuts” But what do you think when Anthony Scaramucci goes after him? What about Rex Tillerson, who called him a “fucking moron?” How about the generals, James Mattis and John Kelly? Are they all wrong?

Now, John Bolton’s book is about to hit the shelves and the media has already read it. The Trump administration has attempted to block it in court by claiming it’s full of classified information…that are lies. If John Bolton is lying, then why do you want it classified? Does that make sense? In case you’re a Republican, it does not.

John Bolton is not perfect. He’s their guy. He is a war hawk who should have voluntarily testified during the impeachment. Instead, he wanted all his juicy bombshells saved for his book so he’d have a nice payday.

Yes, it’s a patriotic thing exposing Donald Trump and the dangers he presents to this nation. No, it’s not patriotic to hang onto the information so you can profit.

The one big takeaway from the book that is not new is Donald Trump isn’t qualified to be president and he’s a terrible person only focused on himself. He loves dictators. He lies. He doesn’t know anything. He’s extremely stupid. That’s all in the book and none of it’s a surprise. What is new are the details. Some of them show he’s dumber than we thought…and more dangerous.

In the book, Bolton claims Donald Trump “pleaded” with Xi Jinping, the Chinese president, to buy more American farm products to help his chances of reelection. You could think that’s a lie except we have him on record asking other nations to help his reelection. This also exposes that Donald Trump doesn’t care about farmers. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

The book shows he’s stupid. He asked if Finland was a part of Russia. Spoiler alert for Republicans: It’s not. He was also surprised the United Kingdom is a nuclear power. In case you’re a Republican, it is. Could these be lies? Donald Trump has already revealed how little he knows about…stuff. He doesn’t understand the differences between the United Kingdon, Britain, and England. He’s opened his mouth and proven that.

Bolton claims Trump was eager to intervene in Justice Department investigations to help foreign corporations in dictator-led nations like Turkey. Bolton said for Trump, “obstruction of justice was a way of life.”

President Xi told Donald Trump he’d owe him a “favor,” (there’s that word again) if he could lighten penalties and sanctions against a Chinese company. It worked, the penalties were lightened and a ban on buying American products for the company was lifted.

The book is more proof Donald Trump is stupidly dangerous. And you know, I’m not a fan of Bolton. He did the unpatriotic thing by refusing to testify unless subpoenaed. But if you’re still supporting Donald Trump despite all this evidence of how bad he is for the nation, then you’re less of a patriot than John Bolton.

There are two truths here: John Bolton knows a lot more about government, diplomacy, and foreign relations than Donald Trump. We may not like Bolton’s positions as he wants to invade everyone, but he knows his shit. Donald Trump doesn’t know anything except how to get pornstars to sign non-disclosure agreements and how to bankrupt casinos.

The other truth is, John Bolton is not known to be a liar. Sure, his judgment sucks. He did work for Fox News and George W. Bush. But he’s not a liar, at least not on any public record I’ve seen. On the other hand, Donald Trump is a huge liar. All Donald Trump does is lie. So when Trump says we can’t trust Bolton…yeah.

There’s another book on the way I’m sure will be presidential (sic) tweet-worthy. Donald Trump’s niece, Mary is writing a book on what a horrible person her uncle is. But I’m more excited about a potential book by Rex Tillerson.

I would gladly pay $25 for a book on Donald Trump titled, “Fucking Moron.”

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Blue State, Red State, Corrupt State


cjones05242020

A couple days ago, I wrote Donald Trump and his administration of goons aren’t even trying to hide his corruption anymore. In firing Inspectors General in the midst of investigations, they don’t even give good reasons. Donald Trump said he fired the guy investigating his Secretary of State Mike Pompeo because he lost the guy’s confidence. Pompeo only defended it by saying he should have been fired long ago and that he didn’t know he was under investigation. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. When it’s the fifth IG fired in five weeks, yeah.

That’s some morbidly obese bullshit.

Now, Donald Trump is threatening to stop all federal funding being sent to states that may not vote for him. That’s not exactly what he said but he’s doing a terrible job of hiding his corrupt intentions.

Michigan and Nevada are upping their plans for mail-in voting in order to decrease the risk of exposing their voters’ lives to the coronavirus. Well, Donald Trump doesn’t give a lick about anyone’s safety and like all Republicans, he realizes the more voters who participate in an election, the worst Republicans fare. The majority of people in this nation vote for Democrats. That’s a fact. Republicans don’t like that fact so they work to prevent people from voting except for the most racist and whitest of us.

Donald Trump tweeted his outrage at Michigan for mailing ballots to all their voters. Dumbass tweeted, “This was done illegally and without authorization by a rogue Secretary of State. I will ask to hold up funding to Michigan if they want to go down this Voter Fraud path!”

Except, that was some morbidly obese lying. Michigan’s Secretary of State mailed “applications” to voters, not ballots. Donald Trump claims what Michigan did is illegal. It’s not. So, two lies in one tweet. Good job, Donald. While explaining this to the press, he dropped another lie in that he was once Man of the Year in Michigan. He was never Man of the Year in Michigan. Maybe he’s confused because he resembles the Michelin Man.

What Donald Trump is doing is threatening to hold a state hostage by denying federal funding…during a pandemic. It’s kinda like holding Ukraine hostage by denying military aid during a war.

He went after Nevada in another tweet saying, “State of Nevada ‘thinks’ that they can send out illegal vote by mail ballots, creating a great Voter Fraud scenario for the State and the U.S. They can’t! If they do, ‘I think’ I can hold up funds to the State. Sorry, but you must not cheat in elections.”

The man who solicited election help from Russia and Ukraine is concerned about cheating in elections.

Trump is very upset over mail-in voting and keeps screaming about voter fraud, even though there isn’t any evidence to support it.

Trump told reporters, “I think just common sense would tell you that massive manipulation can take place. And you do have cases of fraudulent ballots where they actually print them and they give them to people to sign, maybe the same person signs them with different writing, different pens. I don’t know. It’s a lot of things can happen.”

Where, when, what? Where have there been “fraudulent” ballots that were “actually printed” then “given to people to sign?” This guy also claimed once that you need an I.D. to purchase cereal.

Donald Trump himself actually voted by mail, sending his ballot to Florida. Maybe he cheated so that’s how he knows it happens. His argument is that he’s “allowed to do it.” His spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany, defended his voting my mail by arguing how tough it was for him to leave the White House and go to Florida. I know she’s new on the job but you think she’d have noticed that Donald Trump, before the pandemic, was in Florida playing golf and bilking the government for it every other weekend since he became president (sic). Somebody, please give her the Cliff Notes.

Funny thing, Republican officeholders in at least 16 states that do not have all-mail elections have encouraged people to vote absentee during the coronavirus pandemic. You haven’t heard Donald Trump go after them yet. But maybe he should.

Donald Trump won Michigan, barely, in 2016. He’s going to lose it in 2020 and he knows it. But, he’s also trailing Joe Biden in other states he won, like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Arizona, Georgia, and his brand new home state, Florida. And you’re going to love this, but he’s only leading Biden by one point in….wait for it….TEXAS!!!! Yeehaw!

Even if Donald Trump doesn’t lose states like Georgia, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina, and Texas, his campaign will have to do some morbidly obese spending in those states.

This is some morbidly obese corruption and they’re not even trying to hide it. The good news is, Trump probably can’t withhold spending to those states, but I’m sure conservative courts and the Republican Senate will do all they can to help him.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about free and fair elections any more than he cares about the health of Americans during a global pandemic. His only focus with both is on himself. Donald Trump solicited help during the 2016 election from Russia and he got it. He even invited Russians into his campaign HQ. He placed suspected Russian spies on his campaign staff, then cried that the government was watching the suspected spies. Now, he’s doing it again, asking foreign governments to meddle in the 2020 election.

A president should want every American eligible to vote casting votes, even those who won’t vote for him. But Donald Trump and Republicans work to gerrymander and suppress. The people who cry that their rights are being robbed because they have to wear a mask don’t give a flying fig about non-white Americans being denied their right to vote. Cry me a morbidly obese river.

Donald Trump is corrupt and Donald Trump lies. At last count, which was in April, Donald Trump had told over 18,000 lies since he became president (sic). That’s a morbidly obese number.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

(P)oodles of Corruption


cjones05212020

Could the Trump administration at least put some effort into trying to cover up their corruption? Usually, when people in the government engage in some type of corruption, they either try to hide it or disguise it as something else. With Donald Trump and his poodles, they’re not even trying anymore. Quite frankly, that’s insulting. Back in the good old days, he would at least have one of his goons funnel payoff money to pornstars through a dummy corporation in Delaware.

When they fail to plan ahead and disguise their cronyism and corruption, they’re telling us they don’t have to hide it because Donald Trump is an infallible dictator who can’t be questioned. Like Richard Nixon said, “It’s not illegal if the president does it.” Donald Trump has adopted that mantra…except in the case of President Obama. I’m waiting for the “biggest crime committed in the history of the United States” to be that instance when President Obama made fun of The Apprentice. Gary Busey still hasn’t recovered.

Donald Trump fired the Inspector General of our nation’s intelligence community for reporting it to Congress. He even fired people who testified before Congress and in one instance, had a brother of a witness fired. I guess he can’t take any chances.

Donald Trump does not like oversight. He doesn’t like accountability, fact-checkers, or reporters who ask him about things he’s said that are not factual. He desires to be unquestioned and obeyed. He hires people who supported his claim he didn’t know about those pornstar payoffs…then didn’t question it when a tape was revealed of him planning those pornstar payoffs. So, if those people can be total and complete unethical lackeys who don’t mind working for a lying piece of crap, why can’t everyone else? Sheesh!

When asked about an Inspector General report about a lack of testing in the nation’s hospitals, Donald Trump said, “That’s wrong.” He wasn’t talking about the report being wrong. He said it was “wrong” for there to be a report. He replied to the reporter, “Did I hear the word inspector general, really?” He then fired that IG.

The problem Donald Trump has with Inspectors General is they’re not loyal to him. They do their jobs which is often to root out and expose malfeasance. Donald Trump’s middle name should “Malfeasance” instead of “John.” But then again, there have been a lot of times in his life when he’s been a John so that’s appropriate too.

Donald Trump has fired multiple Inspectors General. Trump fired Michael Atkinson, the IG of the intelligence agencies. He fired Christi Grimm, who wrote the report on testing at hospitals. Her crime was that she’s an Obama appointee…except she’s not. He fired Glen Fine, the acting IG at the Department of Defense. Fine had recently been named by a panel of federal IGs as chairman of a congressionally-mandated commission to oversee the $2 trillion coronavirus relief package.

Now, Trump will appoint one of his goons to oversee the $2 trillion relief package.

Here’s where it gets intense, real, and ridiculous: The relief package required oversight. It was attached to the bill by Democrats and Donald Trump conceded to it. Then, when he signed it, he wrote, “My Administration will treat this provision as hortatory but not mandatory.” It’s like he got the bill to sign into law and he decided which parts of it were legal and what parts he could remove. That’s not a metaphor. That’s exactly what he did. It’s another one of those things where you can say, “Imagine how Republicans would react if Obama did that.” And who taught Donald Trump the word “hortatory?”

When Trump came into office, he sent warning signs he intended to root out IGs deemed or suspected to be Obama loyalists. He fired Daniel Meyer in 2018, who led the Whistleblowing and Source Protection Program at the Office of the Intelligence Community Inspector General.

Trump failed to give even a half-assed decent excuse for this latest firing. He sent a letter to Congress that said, “It is vital that I have the fullest confidence in the appointees serving as Inspectors General. That is no longer the case with regard to this Inspector General.” That reasoning is as empty of details and specifics as his “pandemic playbook” or the charges he’s accusing President Obama of. It’s like his replacement for Obamacare. “Something better.”

Donald Trump fired Steve Linick, who was the IG at the State Department. His firing was recommended by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. Why? We don’t know. But who was Linick investigating at the time of his firing? Mike Fucking Pompeo (that is his middle name). Reportedly, Linick was looking into accusations that Pompeo was using government employees to do his personal bidding, like making restaurant reservations and walking his dog. Pompeo has been too busy spreading conspiracy theories about China to bother himself to make sure his dog pees outside.

Mitt Romney said the firing was a “threat to accountable democracy.” Republican Senator Chuck Grassley said, “Inspectors General provide a critical check on an otherwise unaccountable bureaucracy. That means IGs help drain the swamp.

Unfortunately, since the rest of the Republicans are like Pompeo and are poodles for Trump, that’s the only concern expressed about Trump’s latest move in his drive for a total dictatorship…and stockpiling the swamp.

This is total corruption and they’re not even hiding it anymore. They’re firing the people who can tell on them if they steal from us. They’re not even bothering to hide it anymore. The worst part is, they’re getting away with it.

At least Pompeo’s dog is housebroken because Trump’s poodles are pidding all over the place…and the Constitution.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.