Trump Corruption

An Idiot Hides Evidence


cjones01272020

We know Donald Trump is an idiot. But at times, it’s shocking just how transparent he is.

Often, an idiot reveals himself without an explicit statement. Like when a racist is too stupid to understand that the black-friend defense reveals they’re a racist, which is something every single Trump supporter does. But rarely do you find one who claims you can’t prove they’re a racist because they deleted all their racist comments from Facebook.

Trump does this at times. Like when he says he’s not a racist because there’s his “African-American,” or when he claims he’s innocent of sexually assaulting a woman because she doesn’t meet his standards. Trump is so transparent that his tell-tell is projection. When he accuses someone of something, it’s usually later revealed he’s guilty of the accusation. He often takes on the childish defense of “I’m rubber, you’re glue,” like he did in a debate with Hillary Clinton when she said he’s “Putin’s puppet.” I’ve written it before and I’ll do so again: I’m half expecting the revelation Sniffy was born in Kenya.

Trump’s defense against impeachment hasn’t been that he didn’t do what he’s accused of. Even Bill Clinton admitted his guilt of an affair. Trump never admits he did something wrong and those who support him are expected to follow his lead.

What Donald Trump did with Ukraine was ask a foreign government to help with his reelection. He asked a foreign government to go after a political opponent. He withheld military aid, approved by Congress, in an extortion scheme. Later, he asked China to investigate his political opponent. Donald Trump rephrases it but he’s admitted to all of this. At the very least, you would think he’d say “oops.” But no, we get “It was a perfect phone call.” No, it wasn’t. Now his fellow Republicans and lawyers have to go out and argue it was a “perfect phone call” and that it’s OK for a president to bribe a foreign government and ask them to meddle in an American election. Notice you don’t hear “no collusion” anymore? That’s because collusion is OK now.

Donald Trump’s administration has ignored subpoenas for documents and directed members of the administration not to respond to subpoena requests since the beginning of the impeachment process. While his lawyers and Republicans argue that he has the right to cite executive privilege, he hasn’t done so in this matter. Executive privilege doesn’t cover everything. It covers specific conversations and subjects, not anything and everything.

During Bill Clinton’s impeachment, his administration provided over 90,000 pages of documents. Even Richard Nixon turned over tapes and documents.

Trump said former National Security Adviser John Bolton couldn’t testify because he might reveal how Trump feels about other world leaders. Does it get worse than calling the Canadian Prime Minister “two-faced,” or Denmark’s Prime Minister “Nasty,” or even Kim Jong Un “Little Rocket Man?” That’s really only how executive privilege works if you’re a mean girl in high school.

Trump was probably thinking about how he felt about world leaders, who are often caught on tape making fun of him because he was at an international summit. He was asked how he thought the impeachment trial was going. In his answer, Donald Trump admitted to withholding evidence.

He said, “So, we’re doing very well. I got to watch enough. I thought our team did a very good job. But honestly, we have all the material. They don’t have the material.” And right then, he gave House Democrats more material to work with. Donald Trump has admitted to obstruction justice.

This would be like Bill Clinton saying he’ll survive impeachment because he paid for dry cleaning Monica’s blue dress, or Richard Nixon saying he won’t get caught because he taped over the Oval Office tapes with Burt Bacharach’s greatest hits.

Trump’s administration has gone from “no quid pro quo” to “get over it.” They even refuse to let the guy who made that admission testify. Now, they’ve gone from “no collusion” to Trump telling George Stephanoplous before this mess began that he’d accept help from a foreign government to “the president (sic) can do whatever he wants.”

Apparently, whatever he wants includes obstruction and concealing evidence. Donald Trump is guilty and a criminal who should be immediately frogmarched into the nearest federal prison with every Republican chucklefuck who’s participated in his corruption.

Donald Trump is an idiot who’s dumb enough to admit his guilt. But with Republicans controlling the Senate, it doesn’t matter.

Creative Notes: I had this idea a few weeks ago. I even posted the rough here. But yesterday, Trump’s comment brought it back with me changing the text. Another creative note: Thanks, Quannah for “Chucklefuck.”

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Devin Has A Cow Over Corruption


cjones11282019

Devin Nunes, the top-ranking Republican on the Intelligence Committee (which held impeachment hearings over the past two weeks), says reports he met with a former Ukrainian prosecutor a criminal campaign against him by a “totally corrupt” news media.

Nunes was chairman of the Intelligence Committee during the first two years of the Trump administration where he did all he could to stifle and obstruct the committee’s investigation into Russian meddling. During the present impeachment inquiry, he’s used his time to argue that all Trump wanted to do by withholding money from Ukraine was to get to the bottom of Joe Biden’s corruption. But I’m starting to think a guy who believes reporting the news is corrupt probably isn’t a guy qualified to decide who is and isn’t corrupt.

Lev Parnas, who was recently indicted and worked on the Ukraine pressure campaign with Rudy Giuliani, said through his lawyer that he learned of a meeting in Vienna (in case you’re a Republican, that’s in Austria…NOT Australia) in 2018 between Nunes and Viktor Shokin, the former Ukrainian prosecutor general who has emerged as a key figure in Republican attacks on Mr. Biden and his son Hunter Biden. Parnas says he learned of the meeting from Shokin.

Shokin was a corrupt prosecutor and he claims (falsely) that he was fired because he was investigating a company where Joe Biden’s son was a director, and has participated in Giuliani’s public smear campaign against former U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch. Trump, Giuliani, and other Republicans have attempted to make the corrupt prosecutor the victim in the story. Keep in mind, these are the same people defending Russian spies who attacked America.

Parnas also claims he met with one of Nunes’ aides at Trump’s Washington Hotel, which is not the best hotel in Washington but the favorite location to engage in shady dealings with goons and henchmen.

The best answer Nunes could give when asked if it was true was, “Everybody’s going to know all the facts, but I think you can understand, I can’t compete by trying to debate this out with the public media when 90 percent of the media are totally corrupt.” He’s promising to sue CNN and The Daily Beast for reporting Parnas’ claim. If Devin’s cow claims he was too hard on her udders and the press reported it, even then, he wouldn’t have a lawsuit.

In case you’re a Republican, let me point out the irony in this situation if it’s all true: Donald Trump has been accused of asking a foreign nation to help his re-election campaign. He’s been accused of using extortion to gain that help. Devin is on the committee investigating it after he’s asked foreigners to help with Donald Trump’s re-election campaign.

The problem in Washington is the swamp. We’re asking corrupt people to investigate other corrupt people. Naturally, the corrupt people believe the other corrupt people are innocent.

If this is true, it’s not surprising. During the 2018 midterm campaign, Devin was secretly recorded telling supporters the GOP needed to preserve their majority because they were the only ones who could protect Trump (knowing he’s corrupt). While he was chairman of the committee, he rushed information to the White House (they already had) that the committee was investigating, which was basically giving them a heads up. He recused himself from the Russia investigation after being accused of leaking material to the media and the White House. He pushed out the memo condemning the FBI (without specifying any laws broken) for conducting surveillance on suspected spies. He’s been a champion of debunked conspiracy theories clearing Russia of meddling and helping Trump.

Really? Devin Nunes did something corrupt? Shocking.

At this time, Nunes needs to remove himself from the committee. If this is true, he failed to report his actions. If this is true, he’s just as guilty as Trump. Being that he served on the 2016 Trump campaign, he shouldn’t be on the committee in the first place.

Nunes’ constituents and all Americans would be better served if his congressional seat and spot on the Intelligence Committee were occupied by Devin’s cow.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Sinking Like A Stone


cjones11192019

Yesterday was historic. We got to witness a public hearing in only the third impeachment inquiry in our nation’s history. We got to watch a president intimidate a witness while she was testifying. We may have seen a new article of impeachment created in real-time. And finally, a federal court found Trump confidant and partner-in-crime Roger Stone guilty on seven counts of witness tampering and lying to Congress.

Donald Trump and his goon, Rudy Giuliani, coordinated a smear campaign against Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch before she was ousted from that position. He ever praised a Ukraine prosecutor who was considered corrupt by our nation, Europe, and even Ukraine. Yesterday, his smear campaign against Yovanovitch continued.

Donald Trump has a history of bullying women and intimidating witnesses. He’s tweeted attacks in the past against his former lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen (after he turned on him), former White House counsel Don McGhan (who witnessed several episodes of obstruction by Trump), and former FBI director James Comey who testified that Trump pushed him to drop an investigation over another partner-in-crime, Michael Flynn.

Trump said he would only watch ranking member Devin Nunes’ opening statement during yesterday’s hearing, which was kind of pointless. Nunes attempted to break committee rules by yielding his opening time to another committee member (when he’s only allowed to give that time to the Republican committee counsel). As usual, Trump was lying because he unleashed a barrage of attacks against Yovanovitch WHILE she was testifying.

He tweeted, “Everywhere Marie Yovanovitch went turned bad. She started off in Somalia, how did that go?” Yovanovitch was a low-level diplomatic officer stationed in Somalia early in her career. Chairman of the Intelligence Committee Adam Schiff (another of Trump’s favorite victims) stopped the proceedings to address Trump’s Twitter tantrum.

He asked Yovanovitch what effect Trump’s attacks on her would have “on other witnesses’ willingness to come forward and expose wrongdoing.” She said, “It’s very intimidating. I can’t speak to what the president is trying to do, but the effect is to be intimidating.” In released summaries of Trump’s phone calls with the president of Ukraine, Trump said “some things will happen” to Yovanovitch.

If you think this isn’t witness tampering or intimidation, keep in mind that last year a Trump supporter mailed several pipe bombs to politicians, former government officials, and members of the media who have criticized Donald Trump. Hell, last week, someone took a knife to a Trump baby balloon. Yes, it’s witness tampering.

As if the gods agreed and wanted to make a statement, a verdict in Roger Stone’s trial was delivered in New York before the hearings in Washington were completed for the day.

A jury found Stone guilty on seven counts, including obstruction, lying to Congress, and witness tampering. He once called a potential witness and threatened to kill their dog. Roger Stone joins other Trump confidants who have been convicted or pled guilty, including Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen, Rick Gates, and “coffee boy” George Papadopoulos.

Stone can receive up to 50 years. He won’t get that much and Trump will eventually pardon him. Will Trump do the smart thing and pardon him after the 2020 election (along with Manafort) or will he attempt to fire up his base and do it sooner? His supporters do love horrible people. That’s why they’re deplorable.

Stone is going to prison for doing the same things Trump is doing today. Trump’s supporters argue he’s only expressing his opinion. But if they can say he didn’t pressure Ukraine because that nation’s president says he felt no pressure, then they need to accept that Trump is intimidating because Yovanovitch has said she feels intimidated. Logic, Republicans. Use it.

Roger Stone deserves what he’s getting. He belongs in prison. He also deserves to have his buddy there with him.

What’s more shocking here? That a guy with a Nixon tattoo on his back is going to prison for obstruction, lying, and witness tampering…or a Trump supporter is going to prison?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Grifter Strikes Again


cjones11122019

During the 2016 presidential campaign, a poll showed that between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, respondents believed Clinton was less honest than Trump. Believing in something doesn’t make it true. If I asked you to list lies told by Clinton, maybe you could name three. If you visit Politifact’s page listing false statements told by Clinton, you’ll find there are two pages. Wow! That’s a lot of false statements. If you visit their section listing false statements made by Donald Trump, you’ll find there are 13 pages. The Washington Post has counted over 13,000 lies told by Donald Trump just in the time that he’s been president.

Clinton’s haters used the Clinton Foundation, a charitable enterprise of the Clinton family, as evidence of her corruption. They cited donations made to it by foreign governments while she was Secretary of State. They can’t find any actual corruption, but Hillary booga, booga, booga.

Yet, the Clinton Foundation has never been cited for fraud by a court of law. It’s never been found as a slush fund or personal piggy bank for the Clinton family. It was never used as an arm of any political campaign. The facts don’t matter anyway to Trump supporters because they don’t really care about fraud, corruption, or abuse of a charity. They don’t even care if you use a charity to grift from veterans. They only pretend to care. Why do I say this? Because they don’t care that Donald Trump has done everything and more that they’ve accused Clinton of doing.

Donald Trump had (past tense people, and you’ll see why in a minute) a charity called the Trump Foundation. Trump likes to think of any money he has access to as his money. When his foundation actually donated to charitable causes, Trump would claim he made that donation even though it actually came from other people who donated to his charity. Now as president, he thinks taxpayer money is his to do with as he pleases too.

How much money did Trump personally contribute to the Trump Foundation? Since 2008, none. Trump solicited outside donations. Often, he would accept payment for appearances, like his Wrestlemania stint, by having it contributed to the foundation. That’s how you avoid payroll taxes. After it’s given to the foundation, nobody knows if it went to something charitable or to his wallet. There was really no accounting. The board of directors (which included three of his kids) did not conduct a meeting in over two decades. How much have the Clintons contributed to the charity that bears their name? Between 2001 and 2015, $23.2 million.

You may think that at least the money other people give to the Trump Foundation does go to charity. Uuuuuuuhhhhh…not always. Donald Trump has a history of using the foundation as a personal slush fund. He’s used money from it to purchase gifts for himself (as in paintings of himself and sports memorabilia), to pay off fines for his golf resorts, and to make campaign contributions (like to Pam Bondi in Florida). Washington Post reporter David Farenthold won a Pulitzer Prize detailing the corruption of the Trump Foundation.

Now, Donald Trump has been ordered by a New York state court to pay $2 million to charities for misusing his foundation for personal profit and political use. He also has to dissolve the Trump Foundation and to distribute the remaining $1.7 million to other charities that have no connection to Trump (that part’s important to make clear to him).

During the presidential campaign, Trump skipped a Republican debate and held a competing fundraising event. He claimed he was raising money for veterans. By the end of the evening, he claimed to have raised over $6 million for vets. As it turns out, even that was a lie.

Trump did raise $2.8 million but as it turns out, it wasn’t a charitable event. It was a campaign event. Some of the money did go to veterans. Where did the bulk of it go? Nobody knows. Did it go into the Trump campaign? Did it go into Trump’s pockets?

In case you’re new to this, it’s illegal for a charity to be used politically or to benefit the self-interest of its executives. In this situation, the Trump campaign was put in charge of spending for the Trump Foundation. Shocking.

This wasn’t a snafu. It wasn’t just some sloppy saccounting. It wasn’t an oops. This was deliberate and corrupt. This was Donald Trump using veterans and stealing from them.

The best part of this is that Donald Trump has admitted he used the charity politically and for personal use. He has also agreed that any charity he becomes involved with in the future will have a majority of independent directors, lawyers with expertise in nonprofit law and an accounting firm to monitor its grants and expenses. Additionally, his kids who were on the board, Donald Jr, Eric, and Ivanka, will undergo training in order to ensure they do not engage in similar improprieties. How bad is it that these adults have to take classes teaching them not to steal?

Though he admitted he used the campaign politically and as a personal slush fund, last night Trump tweeted that the suit was brought by “political hacks” and that he had given “100 percent of the funds to great charities” and had suffered “4 years of politically motivated harassment” by the attorney general’s office.  He also tweeted, “All they found was incredibly effective philanthropy and some small technical violations.” No, Donald. What they found was a lying crook who continues to lie after a settlement was reached. Putting other people’s shit into your pocket is not a “small technical violation.”

Trump also said this was one of the reasons he’s moving to Florida after he leaves the White House. Apparently, he believes Florida will allow him to be corrupt. He’s probably right.

Today, the Trump Campaign is paying the legal bills for him and his children over every suit involving his presidency. And all that money that went into his inauguration from private donors? We don’t know where it is or how it was spent. It went buh-bye.

Donald Trump is a liar, a crook, a grifter, a conman, and a thief. If you’re a Trump supporter, you either don’t know that or you don’t care. What’s most bizarre about not accepting the truth about Trump’s corruption is that the person he’s conning….is you.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Read The Transcript


cjones11112019

Imagine you’re sitting on a jury and you really want the defendant to be innocent. So, when a witness gives a damaging testimony, you just decide you’re not going to listen to him. That’s Lindsey Graham.

Lindsey Graham said if there was evidence or testimony spelling out there was a quid pro quo, then it would be very concerning. So, after transcripts of witnesses’ testimony were released over the past two days, Graham said he wasn’t going to bother listening to any of it.

After a president is impeached, the Senate holds a trial to decide if the president should be removed from office. Lindsey Graham would be a juror if Trump is impeached. Lindsey has already decided Trump is innocent, or at least shouldn’t be held accountable, and won’t even bother to do his job and listen to the evidence. He won’t read the transcripts.

Donald Trump tells everyone to read the transcript of his phone call. During his Kentucky hate rally, the Trump campaign got the attendees standing behind Trump to wear T-Shirts with the slogan “Read The Transcript!”

This is a huge step forward for Trump sycophants. “Read the transcript” contains four syllables. Usually, they can’t do more than three, evidenced by “space force,” “lock her up,” “send them back,” and “build the wall.” They didn’t start a “read the transcript” chant, but I like to think if it came up, they could have powered their way through the four syllables. Or maybe it would have been like when a crowd can’t coordinate and it fails the wave.

I also think it’s nice that a Trump crowd was able to coordinate with everyone wearing white, and nobody was wearing a bedsheet or a Klan hood. Way to go!

However, Trump and his supporters are only basing their defense on T-Shirt slogans and not the transcript of his phone call. First off, if you read the “transcript” of his call, you will discover there is a quid pro quo and Trump is asking a foreign government to go after a political opponent. Everyone is focused on the quid pro quo, which is bribery and extortion, but it’s not required for Trump to be breaking the law and be deserving of impeachment. The simple act of asking a foreign government to go after his opponent should demand that Congress impeach Trump.

The other act of withholding money from Ukraine that was appropriated by Congress, and then asking that nation to help your campaign, is another offense which should require Trump’s immediate removal. And then there’s the whole obstruction thing.

The second thing about the shirts is that the wearers demanding that we “read the transcript” haven’t read the transcript. If they had, they would have “read” at the very top that it’s NOT A TRANSCRIPT!!!! No. It’s a summary. It’s edited. It’s been taken apart and put back together. It’s what the Trump administration wants us to see and even then, it’s still damaging.

If Trump supporters really want to get to the facts of the case, they’ll read the actual transcripts of the witnesses’ testimonies. Now, these are a lot longer than the summary of Trump’s phone call, and since it’s not a Trump transcript, some of the words are big. It’s not “Dick and Jane” or “Curious George,” which is more along the speed for Trump supporters. But “Curious George” would be a good start for the Trump cult, because they could use a little curiosity.

But, let’s help Trump supporters out.

See Donald. See Donald lie. See Donald ask Ukraine for stuff. See Donald break the law. See Donald talk about Donald. See Donald spin. See Donald not understand what Donald is talking about. See Donald have a temper tantrum. See Donald obstruct justice. See Donald get impeached. See Donald go to jail. See Nancy win.

Here’s the thing, Trump sycophants and assorted fucknuts: If you wanna wear a T-Shirt telling people to read, maybe you should learn to read for yourself first. But, hey. Congrats for going to a Trump rally and getting a free T-Shirt. It kinda sums up the entire Trump presidency for you.

Donald Trump was elected president and I didn’t get a wall, but I got a free T-Shirt.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Brains Don’t Work On The Girl


cjones11072019

The Trump kids, much like their father, are seriously out of their element when it comes to politics and well…anything that requires comprehension, consistency, and honesty. Donald Trump’s full-grown trust-fund babies are at their best when they ignore what’s actually going on, like when Jr. and Eric tweeted denials that their father was booed at a UFC event in New York over the weekend. It’s like that episode of The Simpsons, when a crowd boos Mr. Burns. His lackey, Mr. Smithers, tells his boss they’re not saying “boo.” They’re saying “Boo-urns.”

Last week, Donald Trump Jr., with a straight face, went on Hannity and said, “I wish my name was Hunter Biden. I could go abroad, make millions off of my father’s presidency. I’d be a really rich guy! It would be incredible!” If Sean Hannity was an actual journalist, he would have reminded Donald Trump Jr. that his name is Donald Trump Jr. DJTJ was on Hannity to promote his new book, “Triggered,” which, ironically, nobody would be interested in publishing or reading if his name wasn’t Donald Trump Jr.

On October 15, Eric Trump made the claim, “When my father became commander-in-chief of this country, we got out of all international business.” There are literally buildings in other countries with the Trump name on them. In fact, every time the Trump kids go on an overseas business deal, which they still do, taxpayers have to pay a bill for their protection.

Jared, who is in charge of Trump’s impeachment defense (good luck) and argues his father-in-law hasn’t “done anything wrong,” responded to Joe Biden’s criticism of him and Ivanka having jobs in the White House. Jared said, “He’s entitled to his opinion, but a lot of the work that the President’s had me doing over the last three years has actually been cleaning up the messes that Vice President Biden left behind.” It’s funny because Jared has no idea what he’s doing and someday in the future, someone’s going to be cleaning up the messes he left behind.

Then there’s Daddy’s princess, Ivanka. She decided to defend her father from the impeachment inquiry by comparing him to Jefferson…No, not George but Thomas. She took an eloquent quote from the third president and tweeted, “‘…surrounded by enemies and spies catching and perverting every word that falls from my lips or flows from my pen, and inventing where facts fail them.’ -Thomas Jefferson’s reflections on Washington, D.C. in a letter to his daughter Martha.
Some things never change, dad!”

There are several takes you can get from them. Jefferson is on the nickel and the closest honor Trump has to that is a baby balloon of him floating around the United Kingdom. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and Trump tweets out photoshopped pics of him placing medals on dogs. The best take from this is that Jefferson was responding to accusations he fathered a child with a slave…which he was guilty of at least six times. I don’t think the area of who Trump has slept with, or wants to sleep with, is one Ivanka should wade into. Ivanka should try to find a quote from someone defending themselves from fraudulent charges, like OJ.

Here’s the thing, pretend princess, when you Google a quote, don’t stop reading before you find the context. Perhaps, if you spent more time comprehending what you’re supposed to be doing as a “senior adviser” to the president instead of your public-image campaign of presenting yourself as the rational Trump with humility, you may accidentally stumble upon a clue.

These are just more examples of rich white people crying about how they’re constantly persecuted and life is so hard and unfair for them. If only the world would stop being mean to trust-fund babies.

But if you’re seeking a Jefferson quote, Sweatshop Barbie, I got one for you. Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Towards acquiring the confidence of the people the very first measure is to satisfy them of his disinterestedness, & that he is directing their affairs with a single eye to their good, & not to build up fortunes for himself & family: & especially that the officers appointed to transact their business, are appointed because they are the fittest men, not because they are his relations. So prone are they to suspicion that where a President appoints a relation of his own, however worthy, they will believe that favor, & not merit, was the motive.”

I know it’s kinda long so I’ll directly give you the point. Nepotism is bad. Still don’t understand it? You and your idiot husband only have positions in the White House because the president is your father. If you honestly believe you’re there because of your qualifications, then you are dumber than I could ever make you out to be.

But, since you’re seeking a Jefferson quote that fits your situation, I’ll provide another for you: “If I paid you to think, you could cash your check at the penny arcade.” That’s from George.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Butt Dial Rudy


cjones10282019

Where hasn’t Rudy Giuliani stuck his ass since Donald Trump became president?

While Republicans are complaining that diplomats are “unelected,” unelected Rudy Giuliani is engaging in shadow diplomacy in Ukraine and other nations while also working on his personal business deals. Is he working for the State Department or as Trump’s personal attorney? It’s confusing because he’s tried to have it both ways. He says he has attorney-client privilege because he’s Trump’s personal lawyer, but if he’s working for the Justice Department, then he doesn’t have that privilege.

It was reported Friday night that Giuliani butt-dialed an NBC News reporter on October 16 and his ass left a voicemail. What did Rudy’s ass have to say? A lot of it was incomprehensible, much like any Rudy interview, but what was made out is Rudy discussing the kingdom of Bahrain and needing a “few hundred thousand” dollars. The weird thing is…OK, weirder, is that it’s not the first time Rudy has butt-dialed a reporter. If Donald Trump was smart, and he’s not, he’d find a better lawyer or at least one who can operate a smartphone.

Trump’s other buttpoodle, William Barr, has dragged his ass all over the Justice Department like a dog on the carpet. It was revealed Friday that the Justice Department’s investigation into the Justice Department over the Russia investigation is now a criminal probe. Barr is seeking to send people to jail for the crime of investigating Russian collusion into the 2016 presidential election.

Barr, Trump, and Republicans claim the department “spied” on the Trump campaign. They’ve been chasing a conspiracy theory that it was Ukraine, not Russia, who meddled in the election, and not in favor of Trump but of Hillary Clinton. They believe the Democratic National Committee’s server is in Ukraine. These theories have been debunked. What did happen is that Russia meddled in the election, in favor of Trump, and while neither Obama or the Justice Department spied on the Trump campaign, Russia at least attempted to. Funny how these “patriots” are all riled up about conspiracy theories and hoaxes but haven’t expressed any outrage over foreign nations attacking our country. Now, Russia and other nations hostile to us have clearance to continue attacking our nation knowing Trump’s administration will ignore them and punish those in law enforcement who try to protect our nation.

Sure, internal reviews, from police departments to the Justice Department, should always be conducted. But if we’re more concerned about punishing the people investigating foreign spies than the actual spies, something is messed up. Donald Trump, William Barr, and the entire Republican Party are punishing the FBI while protecting Russian spies. That’s a bunch of butt.

Donald Trump, with buttpoodle William Barr, has totally politicized the Justice Department. It’s not seeking justice. It’s seeking retribution for the crimes of investigating Donald Trump…or anything close to him. This is an authoritarian act.

After Trump is removed from office, we need to remove every official he’s appointed, including judges. Every appointment was made possible by Russia and Vladimir Putin and if we don’t remove them, then Putin’s ass will be staining our nation for decades to come.

Trump, Barr, and Rudy should all land in prison. Let’s just hope Rudy doesn’t butt-dial anyone with his one phone call. Hopefully, when all this is said and done, we’ll never hear from any of their asses ever again.

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