Trump Corruption

Sewage And Stones


cjones07142020

First off, if commuting the sentence for Trump friend, goon, henchman, pal, buddyboy, creeper, slimeball of the first degree, and all-around wart on the taint of humanity Roger Stone wasn’t corrupt, then it wouldn’t have been done late on a Friday night.

Why do fuckers do dastardly deeds on Fridays after 5:00 PM? Because it’s an attempt to limit the political damage as people aren’t paying as much attention to the news at that point. Even I, a news junkie, was eating a sub while watching “Ralph Breaks the Internet” when it came over my phone. Sons of bitches! I was already overloaded with three other subjects to choose from for my next cartoon.

I mean, I still haven’t done something on the Supreme Court and Trump’s taxes, his cognitive test, Goya, or the TikTok ban. Sheesh! I’m going to have to work throughout the weekend.

Donald Trump commuted Roger Stone’s sentence days before he was to be ass-raped in a federal penitentiary in Georgia. Commuting instead of pardoning is probably Donald Trump’s compromise with everyone in the White House who advised him it was a horrible fucking idea to pardon a corrupt sleazebag with a Nixon tattoo on his back. Especially when that corrupt sleazebag is guilty.

Kayleigh McEnany, White House spokesgoon, issued a statement that reads like a Trump tweet. It even had exclamation points (Roger Stone is free!). Now keep in mind, spokesBarbie promised she would never lie to us.

In the statement, she referred to the Russia investigation as a “hoax.” It was not. She claimed the investigation of Stone and the charges were because the Mueller investigation they couldn’t find evidence of collusion between Trump and Russia (they found evidence and Robert Mueller didn’t rule there wasn’t collusion). She argued they went after Stone because of his “outspoken” support for Trump. Never mind the fact Roger Stone lied before Congress. Of course to these goons, lying isn’t criminal.

The judge in the case said, “He was not convicted and is not being sentenced for exercising his First Amendment rights, his support of the President’s campaign or his policies. He was not prosecuted, as some have complained, for standing up for the President. He was prosecuted for covering up for the President.”

In her statement, McEnany described Stone’s crimes as “alleged.” SpokesBarbie went to Harvard Law School. She should know that crimes are NOT “alleged” when a jury finds the party guilty on seven counts. She should keep this in mind because it’s definitely going to come up again…a lot.

McEnany also argued that Stone’s health is fragile and placing him in a federal prison in Georgia would expose him to the coronavirus. So what? I thought the White House supported Trump’s contention the coronavirus is 99 percent harmless?

Even Attorney General William Barr agreed with the prosecution and verdict saying they were “righteous” and “fair.” Remember, this is the same fucknut who tried to bury the Mueller report and has helped Trump engage in coverups.

Donald Trump’s commutation of Roger Stone’s sentence falls in line with his firing of the U.S. attorney in New York investigating Trump goons Rudy Giuliani, Lev, and Igor (seriously, motherfuckers named “Lev” and “Igor” are guilty). It’s in line with him putting pressure on the Justice Department dropping its case against Trump goon Michael Flynn. Shortly after the election, expect at least a commutation of the sentence for Trump goon Paul Manafort.

The president’s power to pardon and commute is for righting actual wrongs, not for rewarding friends for not turning over on you. It’s not to be used politically. It’s not to be used for personal interest. Once again, for Donald Trump, everything is about Donald Trump. Just like the nuclear codes, Donald Trump shouldn’t have this power. Donald Trump shouldn’t be in the White House. Before being elected, Donald Trump is the kind of guy the Secret Service would stop before being allowed on a White House tour. I’m sorry, you’re friends are named “Lev” and “Igor?”

The Justice Department’s sole mission in the Trump era is to be the Department of Defending Donald Trump. Donald Trump’s sole mission as president is to help Donald Trump.

The commutation of Stone’s sentence isn’t just a reward, it’s to keep him from talking. A few days, weeks, or months in a federal prison cell may influence Stone to change his mind and start squealing. So far, Stone has been a good soldier and has kept his mouth shut, but it’s not because of principles or ethics. Look at the guy. He’s a dirty trickster. He is a goon. He doesn’t have real friends. He’s the kind of guy who willingly gets a Nixon tattoo on his back, which might actually come in handy as butt-rape deterrent (who wants to look at that?). He tried to stop one associate from testifying by threatening to kill their dog (Trump should lose the dog lover vote for that alone). If he didn’t believe there was a reward in his future for not talking, he would have talked. And Donald Trump, who isn’t loyal to anyone, is not the guy to die on a cross for.

Trump’s supporters used the whatabout defense last night, as in, “but what about Obama?” Yeah, President Obama pardoned a lot of people. But President Obama didn’t use pardons and commutations as rewards for his friends.

Of course, for that to have happened, President Obama would have had to be like Donald Trump and have thieves, goons, henchmen, and corrupt assholes as friends.

Creative note: While walking near Times Square in Manhattan, I came across some city workers going into the sewers. I told them, “Beware of the C.H.U.D.s”. They were like, “What? Chuds? What the hell is a chud?” They looked at me like I was crazy, which admittedly, I get from time to time. I told them the C.H.U.D.s were from that 80s cult classic about Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers in the sewers of New York City. They had never heard of it. It seems to me if your job requires you to go into the sewers of Manhattan, you might want to be familiar with the C.H.U.D.s. Sheesh.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Classified Lies


cjones06212020

You can’t say Donald Trump isn’t qualified for the presidency because a lot of people wrote books about how awful he is. Every president has had that. But no president has been criticized as much or as harshly as Donald Trump has been by people who worked for him.

While Donald Trump can call them all sorts of names and question their credibility, they’re his people. The guy who promised he’d hire the best people chose them. These are not Democrats.

You might look at Omarosa and think, “Yeah, she’s nuts” But what do you think when Anthony Scaramucci goes after him? What about Rex Tillerson, who called him a “fucking moron?” How about the generals, James Mattis and John Kelly? Are they all wrong?

Now, John Bolton’s book is about to hit the shelves and the media has already read it. The Trump administration has attempted to block it in court by claiming it’s full of classified information…that are lies. If John Bolton is lying, then why do you want it classified? Does that make sense? In case you’re a Republican, it does not.

John Bolton is not perfect. He’s their guy. He is a war hawk who should have voluntarily testified during the impeachment. Instead, he wanted all his juicy bombshells saved for his book so he’d have a nice payday.

Yes, it’s a patriotic thing exposing Donald Trump and the dangers he presents to this nation. No, it’s not patriotic to hang onto the information so you can profit.

The one big takeaway from the book that is not new is Donald Trump isn’t qualified to be president and he’s a terrible person only focused on himself. He loves dictators. He lies. He doesn’t know anything. He’s extremely stupid. That’s all in the book and none of it’s a surprise. What is new are the details. Some of them show he’s dumber than we thought…and more dangerous.

In the book, Bolton claims Donald Trump “pleaded” with Xi Jinping, the Chinese president, to buy more American farm products to help his chances of reelection. You could think that’s a lie except we have him on record asking other nations to help his reelection. This also exposes that Donald Trump doesn’t care about farmers. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

The book shows he’s stupid. He asked if Finland was a part of Russia. Spoiler alert for Republicans: It’s not. He was also surprised the United Kingdom is a nuclear power. In case you’re a Republican, it is. Could these be lies? Donald Trump has already revealed how little he knows about…stuff. He doesn’t understand the differences between the United Kingdon, Britain, and England. He’s opened his mouth and proven that.

Bolton claims Trump was eager to intervene in Justice Department investigations to help foreign corporations in dictator-led nations like Turkey. Bolton said for Trump, “obstruction of justice was a way of life.”

President Xi told Donald Trump he’d owe him a “favor,” (there’s that word again) if he could lighten penalties and sanctions against a Chinese company. It worked, the penalties were lightened and a ban on buying American products for the company was lifted.

The book is more proof Donald Trump is stupidly dangerous. And you know, I’m not a fan of Bolton. He did the unpatriotic thing by refusing to testify unless subpoenaed. But if you’re still supporting Donald Trump despite all this evidence of how bad he is for the nation, then you’re less of a patriot than John Bolton.

There are two truths here: John Bolton knows a lot more about government, diplomacy, and foreign relations than Donald Trump. We may not like Bolton’s positions as he wants to invade everyone, but he knows his shit. Donald Trump doesn’t know anything except how to get pornstars to sign non-disclosure agreements and how to bankrupt casinos.

The other truth is, John Bolton is not known to be a liar. Sure, his judgment sucks. He did work for Fox News and George W. Bush. But he’s not a liar, at least not on any public record I’ve seen. On the other hand, Donald Trump is a huge liar. All Donald Trump does is lie. So when Trump says we can’t trust Bolton…yeah.

There’s another book on the way I’m sure will be presidential (sic) tweet-worthy. Donald Trump’s niece, Mary is writing a book on what a horrible person her uncle is. But I’m more excited about a potential book by Rex Tillerson.

I would gladly pay $25 for a book on Donald Trump titled, “Fucking Moron.”

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Blue State, Red State, Corrupt State


cjones05242020

A couple days ago, I wrote Donald Trump and his administration of goons aren’t even trying to hide his corruption anymore. In firing Inspectors General in the midst of investigations, they don’t even give good reasons. Donald Trump said he fired the guy investigating his Secretary of State Mike Pompeo because he lost the guy’s confidence. Pompeo only defended it by saying he should have been fired long ago and that he didn’t know he was under investigation. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. When it’s the fifth IG fired in five weeks, yeah.

That’s some morbidly obese bullshit.

Now, Donald Trump is threatening to stop all federal funding being sent to states that may not vote for him. That’s not exactly what he said but he’s doing a terrible job of hiding his corrupt intentions.

Michigan and Nevada are upping their plans for mail-in voting in order to decrease the risk of exposing their voters’ lives to the coronavirus. Well, Donald Trump doesn’t give a lick about anyone’s safety and like all Republicans, he realizes the more voters who participate in an election, the worst Republicans fare. The majority of people in this nation vote for Democrats. That’s a fact. Republicans don’t like that fact so they work to prevent people from voting except for the most racist and whitest of us.

Donald Trump tweeted his outrage at Michigan for mailing ballots to all their voters. Dumbass tweeted, “This was done illegally and without authorization by a rogue Secretary of State. I will ask to hold up funding to Michigan if they want to go down this Voter Fraud path!”

Except, that was some morbidly obese lying. Michigan’s Secretary of State mailed “applications” to voters, not ballots. Donald Trump claims what Michigan did is illegal. It’s not. So, two lies in one tweet. Good job, Donald. While explaining this to the press, he dropped another lie in that he was once Man of the Year in Michigan. He was never Man of the Year in Michigan. Maybe he’s confused because he resembles the Michelin Man.

What Donald Trump is doing is threatening to hold a state hostage by denying federal funding…during a pandemic. It’s kinda like holding Ukraine hostage by denying military aid during a war.

He went after Nevada in another tweet saying, “State of Nevada ‘thinks’ that they can send out illegal vote by mail ballots, creating a great Voter Fraud scenario for the State and the U.S. They can’t! If they do, ‘I think’ I can hold up funds to the State. Sorry, but you must not cheat in elections.”

The man who solicited election help from Russia and Ukraine is concerned about cheating in elections.

Trump is very upset over mail-in voting and keeps screaming about voter fraud, even though there isn’t any evidence to support it.

Trump told reporters, “I think just common sense would tell you that massive manipulation can take place. And you do have cases of fraudulent ballots where they actually print them and they give them to people to sign, maybe the same person signs them with different writing, different pens. I don’t know. It’s a lot of things can happen.”

Where, when, what? Where have there been “fraudulent” ballots that were “actually printed” then “given to people to sign?” This guy also claimed once that you need an I.D. to purchase cereal.

Donald Trump himself actually voted by mail, sending his ballot to Florida. Maybe he cheated so that’s how he knows it happens. His argument is that he’s “allowed to do it.” His spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany, defended his voting my mail by arguing how tough it was for him to leave the White House and go to Florida. I know she’s new on the job but you think she’d have noticed that Donald Trump, before the pandemic, was in Florida playing golf and bilking the government for it every other weekend since he became president (sic). Somebody, please give her the Cliff Notes.

Funny thing, Republican officeholders in at least 16 states that do not have all-mail elections have encouraged people to vote absentee during the coronavirus pandemic. You haven’t heard Donald Trump go after them yet. But maybe he should.

Donald Trump won Michigan, barely, in 2016. He’s going to lose it in 2020 and he knows it. But, he’s also trailing Joe Biden in other states he won, like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Arizona, Georgia, and his brand new home state, Florida. And you’re going to love this, but he’s only leading Biden by one point in….wait for it….TEXAS!!!! Yeehaw!

Even if Donald Trump doesn’t lose states like Georgia, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina, and Texas, his campaign will have to do some morbidly obese spending in those states.

This is some morbidly obese corruption and they’re not even trying to hide it. The good news is, Trump probably can’t withhold spending to those states, but I’m sure conservative courts and the Republican Senate will do all they can to help him.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about free and fair elections any more than he cares about the health of Americans during a global pandemic. His only focus with both is on himself. Donald Trump solicited help during the 2016 election from Russia and he got it. He even invited Russians into his campaign HQ. He placed suspected Russian spies on his campaign staff, then cried that the government was watching the suspected spies. Now, he’s doing it again, asking foreign governments to meddle in the 2020 election.

A president should want every American eligible to vote casting votes, even those who won’t vote for him. But Donald Trump and Republicans work to gerrymander and suppress. The people who cry that their rights are being robbed because they have to wear a mask don’t give a flying fig about non-white Americans being denied their right to vote. Cry me a morbidly obese river.

Donald Trump is corrupt and Donald Trump lies. At last count, which was in April, Donald Trump had told over 18,000 lies since he became president (sic). That’s a morbidly obese number.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

(P)oodles of Corruption


cjones05212020

Could the Trump administration at least put some effort into trying to cover up their corruption? Usually, when people in the government engage in some type of corruption, they either try to hide it or disguise it as something else. With Donald Trump and his poodles, they’re not even trying anymore. Quite frankly, that’s insulting. Back in the good old days, he would at least have one of his goons funnel payoff money to pornstars through a dummy corporation in Delaware.

When they fail to plan ahead and disguise their cronyism and corruption, they’re telling us they don’t have to hide it because Donald Trump is an infallible dictator who can’t be questioned. Like Richard Nixon said, “It’s not illegal if the president does it.” Donald Trump has adopted that mantra…except in the case of President Obama. I’m waiting for the “biggest crime committed in the history of the United States” to be that instance when President Obama made fun of The Apprentice. Gary Busey still hasn’t recovered.

Donald Trump fired the Inspector General of our nation’s intelligence community for reporting it to Congress. He even fired people who testified before Congress and in one instance, had a brother of a witness fired. I guess he can’t take any chances.

Donald Trump does not like oversight. He doesn’t like accountability, fact-checkers, or reporters who ask him about things he’s said that are not factual. He desires to be unquestioned and obeyed. He hires people who supported his claim he didn’t know about those pornstar payoffs…then didn’t question it when a tape was revealed of him planning those pornstar payoffs. So, if those people can be total and complete unethical lackeys who don’t mind working for a lying piece of crap, why can’t everyone else? Sheesh!

When asked about an Inspector General report about a lack of testing in the nation’s hospitals, Donald Trump said, “That’s wrong.” He wasn’t talking about the report being wrong. He said it was “wrong” for there to be a report. He replied to the reporter, “Did I hear the word inspector general, really?” He then fired that IG.

The problem Donald Trump has with Inspectors General is they’re not loyal to him. They do their jobs which is often to root out and expose malfeasance. Donald Trump’s middle name should “Malfeasance” instead of “John.” But then again, there have been a lot of times in his life when he’s been a John so that’s appropriate too.

Donald Trump has fired multiple Inspectors General. Trump fired Michael Atkinson, the IG of the intelligence agencies. He fired Christi Grimm, who wrote the report on testing at hospitals. Her crime was that she’s an Obama appointee…except she’s not. He fired Glen Fine, the acting IG at the Department of Defense. Fine had recently been named by a panel of federal IGs as chairman of a congressionally-mandated commission to oversee the $2 trillion coronavirus relief package.

Now, Trump will appoint one of his goons to oversee the $2 trillion relief package.

Here’s where it gets intense, real, and ridiculous: The relief package required oversight. It was attached to the bill by Democrats and Donald Trump conceded to it. Then, when he signed it, he wrote, “My Administration will treat this provision as hortatory but not mandatory.” It’s like he got the bill to sign into law and he decided which parts of it were legal and what parts he could remove. That’s not a metaphor. That’s exactly what he did. It’s another one of those things where you can say, “Imagine how Republicans would react if Obama did that.” And who taught Donald Trump the word “hortatory?”

When Trump came into office, he sent warning signs he intended to root out IGs deemed or suspected to be Obama loyalists. He fired Daniel Meyer in 2018, who led the Whistleblowing and Source Protection Program at the Office of the Intelligence Community Inspector General.

Trump failed to give even a half-assed decent excuse for this latest firing. He sent a letter to Congress that said, “It is vital that I have the fullest confidence in the appointees serving as Inspectors General. That is no longer the case with regard to this Inspector General.” That reasoning is as empty of details and specifics as his “pandemic playbook” or the charges he’s accusing President Obama of. It’s like his replacement for Obamacare. “Something better.”

Donald Trump fired Steve Linick, who was the IG at the State Department. His firing was recommended by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. Why? We don’t know. But who was Linick investigating at the time of his firing? Mike Fucking Pompeo (that is his middle name). Reportedly, Linick was looking into accusations that Pompeo was using government employees to do his personal bidding, like making restaurant reservations and walking his dog. Pompeo has been too busy spreading conspiracy theories about China to bother himself to make sure his dog pees outside.

Mitt Romney said the firing was a “threat to accountable democracy.” Republican Senator Chuck Grassley said, “Inspectors General provide a critical check on an otherwise unaccountable bureaucracy. That means IGs help drain the swamp.

Unfortunately, since the rest of the Republicans are like Pompeo and are poodles for Trump, that’s the only concern expressed about Trump’s latest move in his drive for a total dictatorship…and stockpiling the swamp.

This is total corruption and they’re not even hiding it anymore. They’re firing the people who can tell on them if they steal from us. They’re not even bothering to hide it anymore. The worst part is, they’re getting away with it.

At least Pompeo’s dog is housebroken because Trump’s poodles are pidding all over the place…and the Constitution.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

In Like Flynn


cjones05122020

The Trump administration is all about bad examples, corruption, and hypocrisy (we’ll ignore the racism and stupidity for now).

According to inside sources, Donald Trump got “lava level mad” over his exposure to the coronavirus as one of his Naval valets has tested positive for the coronavirus.

The valet performs chores that bring him close to the president (sic), such as shining his shoes, laying out his clothes, and bringing him diet Cokes and hamberders. Donald Trump said he had not been around this particular individual a lot but that doesn’t matter if he’s handling and eating what the valet has touched and breathed on. That’s kinda like thinking you can’t catch it from someone if you don’t know them that well, which was Trump’s argument after a person in a photo with him tested positive shortly after the photo was taken.

Someone is not paying a lot of attention to the briefings from the task force he nearly disbanded.

A person close to the White House told NBC News Trump “became ‘lava level mad’ at his staff and said he doesn’t feel they are doing all they can to protect him from the virus.”

Donald Trump has yet to be seen in a mask. For nearly 40 days straight, he conducted daily briefings in close proximity with other human beings while they all shared a mic. He has even visited a mask factory this week without wearing a mask. He’s said wearing a make is something he “doesn’t see for himself” as it would be undignified while hosting dictators in the Oval Office. Donald Trump is afraid that being seen in a mask will hurt his efforts to reopen the nation, confuse the ignorant Trump cultists he’s encouraged to “liberate” blue states, make him look weak, and be used against him in negative campaign ads. This from a guy whose face is already a negative.

Because of Trump’s attitude toward wearing a mask, nobody around him wears a mask. When Mike Pence visited the Mayo Clinic, he refused to wear a mask.

Trump has presented a very loud message that masks and social distancing are not necessary around him because he’s a tough guy. So, hardly anyone in the White House wears masks or social distances. And now, he’s “lava level mad” that he’s been exposed to the coronavirus?

Boris Johnson, Prince Charles, Prince Albert of Monaco, the Prime Minister of Russia, the wives of Canada and Spain’s leaders, a high number of leadership officials throughout the world, and Senator Rand Paul have all tested positive for the coronavirus. Several people who have been close to Trump at Mar-a-Lago and the White House have tested positive or been close to others who have. It’s kinda amazing Donald Trump hasn’t caught it and that the White House isn’t a petri dish full of the virus.

Now (get ready for more hypocrisy), while the administration argues it’s not necessary to test every American and it’s not even important to ramp up testing to reopen the nation, Donald Trump and Mike Pence will be tested for the virus daily. In case you’re a Republican, daily means every day.

Since Trump does need a new valet and they’re usually military personnel, why doesn’t he give former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn the job?

Donald Trump is not good at taking advice, from Dr. Anthony Fauci suggesting we all wear masks and practice social distancing to President Obama advising him not to hire Putin poodle Michael Flynn.

Flynn, who was just not exonerated by William Barr’s corruption, is someone Donald Trump said could possibly return to the White House after pleading guilty TWICE for lying to the FBI about his conversations with Russians during the transition period.

It’s a crime to lie to the FBI and that’s what Michael Flynn did. He was close to the president, working in the White House, and lying about contacts with Russia, a nation hostile to the United States and from which Flynn had taken payment (and also lied about) in the recent past. Flynn is guilty. Don’t take my word for it. Take Michael Flynn’s word for it. He pleaded guilty twice.

And why was he being investigated? Because he was undermining our nation’s national security policy. President Obama slapped heavy sanctions on Russia after their interference in the election. Flynn contacted them to tell them not to worry about it and to hold off on reprisals with their own sanctions. Help in the form of a corrupt Trump presidency was coming.

Attorney General William Barr intervened in the Roger Stone case by lowering the prison sentence recommendation for that particular Trump goon. All four Justice Department prosecutors in the Stone case resigned and over 2,000 former Justice Department officials signed a letter calling for Barr’s resignation.

Now, the Justice Department is dropping all charges against Flynn after years of Donald Trump tweeting about the “horrible treatment” the former three-star general has received. Donald Trump likes to stick up for traitors, probably because he’s one himself.

Barr brought in outside investigators whose sole mission was to find fault with the FBI’s investigation. Now, in regards to Michael Flynn pleading guilty twice, Barr said, “people sometimes plead to things that turn out not to be crimes.” The Attorney General doesn’t know it’s a crime to lie to the FBI? And why is the Attorney General talking like he’s Michael Flynn’s defense lawyer?

The message here is: Trump goons don’t have to worry about the rule of law. While career professionals from the Justice Department will go after their lawbreaking, the top goon of the department will attempt to save the bad guys. All the convicted goons will receive pardons after November anyway, whether Trump wins or not. These are corrupt people, from Trump to Barr to Flynn to Manafort to Stone to Giuliani to the coffee boy.

When Donald Trump issues directives, William Barr follows them, from lying about the Mueller Report while concealing it, defending Roger Stone, to dropping charges against Flynn. It’s not the valet who should be social distancing from Donald Trump, it’s the Attorney General.

But, it is hard to social distance when you’re crawling up someone’s ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Pardo For Blago


cjones02262020

The Trump cult likes to believe Donald Trump is a great negotiator. So how do they deal with the fact that he’s been publicly out-negotiated by people like Nancy Pelosi and Kim Jong Un? They pretend it never happened. They were proud of Trump being a billionaire who promised to release his taxes. When he broke that promise, they forget he ever made it. They scream about Democratic Socialists candidates promising free stuff when Donald Trump literally promised them a free wall. Today, you don’t hear any of them saying anything about Mexico paying for it while Trump guts the military for his favorite racist vanity project. Donald Trump promised he wouldn’t have time to play golf. So what do they do with that broken promise and Trump spending more taxpayer money on golf than any president before him? They talk about the amount of golf Obama played.

So, with Republicans, members of the Trump cult, fucknuts, assorted shitweasels, and MAGAts upset over their savior granting clemency to former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, how will they come to terms with this? Blago was their go-to as proof Democrats were corrupt. He was a stain on Obama’s presidency in that he attempted to sell the Senate seat the new president vacated after winning the 2008 election.

I saw a few posts today by Trump cultists trying to deal with it. Some are claiming it’s the height of hypocrisy for Democrats to rejoice at this while calling Trump corrupt. Excuse me, but can someone point out the Democrats who are happy over this? No, fucknuts. Democrats impeached the Illinois governor (in the Illinois House, 114-1. In the Senate, 59-0). The height of hypocrisy is campaigning on draining the swamp and running against “pay for play” then pardoning Rod Blagojevich. The height of hypocrisy is being upset over this only because Blago is a Democrat.

After leaving federal prison, Blagojevich stated he’s a “Trumpocrat,” whatever the hell that is.

One interesting detail to this is that Trump isn’t really acknowledging that Blago did anything wrong. He’s blaming the James “Comey gang and all these sleazebags” for Blago being caught despite the fact James Comey wasn’t FBI Director, anywhere near this case or even the Justice Department (he was in the private sector) at the time of the Blago investigation. Leave it to Trump to blame the “deep state” while pardoning Rod Blagojevich. Trump said, “That was a tremendously powerful, ridiculous sentence in my opinion and in the opinion of many others.” If you have to lie to justify your actions, then you probably did the wrong thing. Blago didn’t just attempt to sell a Senate seat. He was also convicted of a shakedown attempt involving a racetrack and for withholding taxpayer money from a children’s hospital until its CEO donated to his political campaign. Hmmm…who else is all about withholding taxpayer money for his own benefit and would steal from a children’s charity?

Trump didn’t just stop with Blago. He went on a pardon spree. His pardons are focusing on the types of crimes, lying, and corruption his associates have been convicted of in the Russia investigation.

Trump used his presidential pardoning powers on convicted junk bond king Michael Milken and former New York police commissioner Bernard Kerik who was convicted of tax fraud. He pardoned Edward DeBartolo Jr., the billionaire former owner of the San Francisco 49ers who was convicted in an extortion case involving the former governor of Louisiana, Edwin Edwards. He pardoned David Safavian, a senior official in the George W. Bush administration who was convicted of obstructing a federal investigation as part of the scandal surrounding lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

There are over 13,000 people currently waiting for a response to their clemency requests, but white-collar white guys who are friends of Trump get to cut to the head of the line. Blago, for example, was on Trump’s fake reality TV show (which probably made federal prison seem like less of a fall from grace after putting yourself into a situation to be judged and graded by Donald Trump). So far, Trump has only granted clemency to one African-American (no, not O.J.), the late boxer Jack Johnson (which was lobbied for by Kim Kardashian). Then, Trump used that pardon in a campaign commercial during the Super Bowl. I guess pardoning a dead black guy is OK because he can’t move into any Republican neighborhoods.

Trump also didn’t go through the normal protocol of reviewing cases suggested by the Justice Department. Instead, he relied on what his friends were saying. Milken’s pardon was recommended by a friend who threw Trump a $10 million fundraiser at Mar-a-Lago Saturday night (by the way. A lot of that $10 million raised for Trump’s campaign will go to Trump. What? You think he’s loaning out Mar-a-Lago for free? Drain the swamp, indeed). Some of these pardons were recommended by Geraldo Rivera, Andrew Napolitano, Maria Bartiromo, Chris Christie, Newsmax Media’s Christopher Ruddy, and Rudy Guiliani, who’ll probably also lobby for his own pardon very soon. Even the Navy SEAL, Eddie Gallagher, who Trump granted clemency to recently argued for Kerik’s pardon, who was a Gallagher defender on Fox News/Trump TV.

The head of the pardon office in the Department of Justice during the first two years of the Trump administration told The Washington Post that he quit last year because the White House had sidelined his office in favor of taking its cues from celebrities, political allies, and Fox News.

There’s a lot of talk in the press about Trump issuing pardons for Roger Manafort, Michael Flynn, and Roger Stone. But I think those will wait until after the election, which will now be supported by fundraisers held by the beneficiaries of these corrupt billionaire pardons.

Donald Trump is not draining the swamp. He’s the swamp’s Santa Claus. And it’s not so much that Trump is pardoning, and talked of pardoning, so many criminals connected to him, but that the president is connected to so many criminals.

So, how will Trump cultists, fucknuts, assorted shitweasels, and MAGAts overcome this pardoning of corrupt Democrat Rob Blagojevich? First, they’ll stop talking about it. And since most of them are former Never Trumpers, by tomorrow afternoon, they’ll be defending it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Is There A Corrupt Plan B?


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

After all that, sending Rudy to Ukraine to create conspiracy theories, to accuse the Bidens of corruption, to break the law by asking a foreign nation to help you politically, to withhold taxpayer military funding from an ally at war with an enemy, to lie, obstruct Congress, to go through all that corruption, and ultimately impeachment…and the guy you did it to beat probably won’t be the nominee.

Good job, dumbass.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Shut The Tat’s Trap


cjones02192020

Roger Stone is the kind of guy, that when he watches Die Hard, he roots for Hans Gruber. This man is a villain who rejoices at being a villain. To him, it’s an art. For the love of God, he has a Richard Nixon tattoo on his back. And you thought a MAGA hat was a people repellant. As if just being Roger Stone wasn’t repellant enough.

Stone worked on the Nixon campaign and is considered by many to be a “dirty trickster.” He’s a liar who promotes conspiracy theories and other assorted bullshit. So naturally, he was all in on the Trump campaign. In fact, he was a lobbyist for Trump’s failed casino and encouraged him to run for president back in 1998. During the 2016 campaign, he engaged in conspiracy theories and according to two of his associates, was in communication with Julian Assange with whom he coordinated a smear campaign against Hillary Clinton.

Last year, the Mueller investigation (you remember that investigation. The one where Republicans say didn’t find anything?) charged Stone with witness tampering, obstructing an official proceeding, and five counts of making false statements. A court found him guilty on all seven charges. Not just one or even a few of them but every single charge Mueller presented. This week, prosecutors recommended Stone serve nine years in a federal penitentiary. Guess who flipped out crying that Stone was being mistreated.

Donald Trump went on a Twitter rampage about the mistreatment Stone received. He said the investigation never should have happened. It was illegal and a witch hunt. Keep in mind, Roger Stone was found guilty on all seven counts.

The president (sic) of the United States is defending a known liar and a conman. He’s defending a sexist who was banned from CNN after calling one of their contributors an “entitled diva bitch” and said he imagined her “killing herself.” The president (sic) of the United States is defending a racist who called another CNN contributor a “stupid negro” and a “fat negro.” This is a guy who sought to hire members of the far-right, neo-fascist, Nazi-loving Proud Boys as his personal security at a Republican conference. After his arraignment, Proud Boys stood on the steps of the courthouse screaming that Stone is innocent. The president (sic) of the United States is defending a guy who threatened a witness’ dog. At this point, I’m feeling bad for Nixon that he’s associated with this guy.

Roger Stone is one of Trump’s goons. He’s a henchman. If he wasn’t headed to federal prison right now, he’d probably be in Ukraine with Rudy Giuliani creating more conspiracy theories.

But, mere hours after Trump’s free-Roger tweetstorm, where he called it a “miscarriage of justice,” a senior Justice Department official said the department would recommend a lighter sentence. What? Go light on Roger because of Trump’s Twitter tirade?

Trump says he wasn’t involved but that he could have made the Justice Department go lighter (that alone tells you this guy will never willfully give up his power). But that’s a lie as he was involved. His tweets and public comments are him getting involved. The department says they made this call before the tweetstorm, but they’re not very good at lying. Just because you do something a lot, doesn’t always mean you’re good at it.

Later yesterday afternoon, all four of the Assistant US Attorneys who were prosecuting the case withdrew from the case, with one of them leaving the Justice Department altogether. Can’t blame the guy as you can see where the department is going, what with Attorney General William Barr publicly acknowledging that he would work with Giuliani in his Ukraine conspiracy theories. Why work for the Justice Department when the AG is just another Trump goon? This morning, Trump congratulated Barr for intervening.

This is the kind of stuff people should care about. Even Republicans should care about this. This is corruption. It’s the very definition of corruption. And along with my predictions that after/if he’s reelected, that Trump will pull all U.S. troops out of the Korean peninsula, pull the U.S. out of NATO, and host Vladimir Putin in the White House, he’ll also pardon Roger Stone and Paul Manafort. Actually, those pardons will come after the election, whether he wins or not.

The judge of this case has final say on the sentencing. Let’s hope she ignores Trump and the Justice Department and gives Stone what he deserves.

Roger Stone is a dirty trickster, liar, conman, evil, and corrupt. Donald Trump is defending the guy because he is too.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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An Idiot Hides Evidence


cjones01272020

We know Donald Trump is an idiot. But at times, it’s shocking just how transparent he is.

Often, an idiot reveals himself without an explicit statement. Like when a racist is too stupid to understand that the black-friend defense reveals they’re a racist, which is something every single Trump supporter does. But rarely do you find one who claims you can’t prove they’re a racist because they deleted all their racist comments from Facebook.

Trump does this at times. Like when he says he’s not a racist because there’s his “African-American,” or when he claims he’s innocent of sexually assaulting a woman because she doesn’t meet his standards. Trump is so transparent that his tell-tell is projection. When he accuses someone of something, it’s usually later revealed he’s guilty of the accusation. He often takes on the childish defense of “I’m rubber, you’re glue,” like he did in a debate with Hillary Clinton when she said he’s “Putin’s puppet.” I’ve written it before and I’ll do so again: I’m half expecting the revelation Sniffy was born in Kenya.

Trump’s defense against impeachment hasn’t been that he didn’t do what he’s accused of. Even Bill Clinton admitted his guilt of an affair. Trump never admits he did something wrong and those who support him are expected to follow his lead.

What Donald Trump did with Ukraine was ask a foreign government to help with his reelection. He asked a foreign government to go after a political opponent. He withheld military aid, approved by Congress, in an extortion scheme. Later, he asked China to investigate his political opponent. Donald Trump rephrases it but he’s admitted to all of this. At the very least, you would think he’d say “oops.” But no, we get “It was a perfect phone call.” No, it wasn’t. Now his fellow Republicans and lawyers have to go out and argue it was a “perfect phone call” and that it’s OK for a president to bribe a foreign government and ask them to meddle in an American election. Notice you don’t hear “no collusion” anymore? That’s because collusion is OK now.

Donald Trump’s administration has ignored subpoenas for documents and directed members of the administration not to respond to subpoena requests since the beginning of the impeachment process. While his lawyers and Republicans argue that he has the right to cite executive privilege, he hasn’t done so in this matter. Executive privilege doesn’t cover everything. It covers specific conversations and subjects, not anything and everything.

During Bill Clinton’s impeachment, his administration provided over 90,000 pages of documents. Even Richard Nixon turned over tapes and documents.

Trump said former National Security Adviser John Bolton couldn’t testify because he might reveal how Trump feels about other world leaders. Does it get worse than calling the Canadian Prime Minister “two-faced,” or Denmark’s Prime Minister “Nasty,” or even Kim Jong Un “Little Rocket Man?” That’s really only how executive privilege works if you’re a mean girl in high school.

Trump was probably thinking about how he felt about world leaders, who are often caught on tape making fun of him because he was at an international summit. He was asked how he thought the impeachment trial was going. In his answer, Donald Trump admitted to withholding evidence.

He said, “So, we’re doing very well. I got to watch enough. I thought our team did a very good job. But honestly, we have all the material. They don’t have the material.” And right then, he gave House Democrats more material to work with. Donald Trump has admitted to obstruction justice.

This would be like Bill Clinton saying he’ll survive impeachment because he paid for dry cleaning Monica’s blue dress, or Richard Nixon saying he won’t get caught because he taped over the Oval Office tapes with Burt Bacharach’s greatest hits.

Trump’s administration has gone from “no quid pro quo” to “get over it.” They even refuse to let the guy who made that admission testify. Now, they’ve gone from “no collusion” to Trump telling George Stephanoplous before this mess began that he’d accept help from a foreign government to “the president (sic) can do whatever he wants.”

Apparently, whatever he wants includes obstruction and concealing evidence. Donald Trump is guilty and a criminal who should be immediately frogmarched into the nearest federal prison with every Republican chucklefuck who’s participated in his corruption.

Donald Trump is an idiot who’s dumb enough to admit his guilt. But with Republicans controlling the Senate, it doesn’t matter.

Creative Notes: I had this idea a few weeks ago. I even posted the rough here. But yesterday, Trump’s comment brought it back with me changing the text. Another creative note: Thanks, Quannah for “Chucklefuck.”

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Devin Has A Cow Over Corruption


cjones11282019

Devin Nunes, the top-ranking Republican on the Intelligence Committee (which held impeachment hearings over the past two weeks), says reports he met with a former Ukrainian prosecutor a criminal campaign against him by a “totally corrupt” news media.

Nunes was chairman of the Intelligence Committee during the first two years of the Trump administration where he did all he could to stifle and obstruct the committee’s investigation into Russian meddling. During the present impeachment inquiry, he’s used his time to argue that all Trump wanted to do by withholding money from Ukraine was to get to the bottom of Joe Biden’s corruption. But I’m starting to think a guy who believes reporting the news is corrupt probably isn’t a guy qualified to decide who is and isn’t corrupt.

Lev Parnas, who was recently indicted and worked on the Ukraine pressure campaign with Rudy Giuliani, said through his lawyer that he learned of a meeting in Vienna (in case you’re a Republican, that’s in Austria…NOT Australia) in 2018 between Nunes and Viktor Shokin, the former Ukrainian prosecutor general who has emerged as a key figure in Republican attacks on Mr. Biden and his son Hunter Biden. Parnas says he learned of the meeting from Shokin.

Shokin was a corrupt prosecutor and he claims (falsely) that he was fired because he was investigating a company where Joe Biden’s son was a director, and has participated in Giuliani’s public smear campaign against former U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch. Trump, Giuliani, and other Republicans have attempted to make the corrupt prosecutor the victim in the story. Keep in mind, these are the same people defending Russian spies who attacked America.

Parnas also claims he met with one of Nunes’ aides at Trump’s Washington Hotel, which is not the best hotel in Washington but the favorite location to engage in shady dealings with goons and henchmen.

The best answer Nunes could give when asked if it was true was, “Everybody’s going to know all the facts, but I think you can understand, I can’t compete by trying to debate this out with the public media when 90 percent of the media are totally corrupt.” He’s promising to sue CNN and The Daily Beast for reporting Parnas’ claim. If Devin’s cow claims he was too hard on her udders and the press reported it, even then, he wouldn’t have a lawsuit.

In case you’re a Republican, let me point out the irony in this situation if it’s all true: Donald Trump has been accused of asking a foreign nation to help his re-election campaign. He’s been accused of using extortion to gain that help. Devin is on the committee investigating it after he’s asked foreigners to help with Donald Trump’s re-election campaign.

The problem in Washington is the swamp. We’re asking corrupt people to investigate other corrupt people. Naturally, the corrupt people believe the other corrupt people are innocent.

If this is true, it’s not surprising. During the 2018 midterm campaign, Devin was secretly recorded telling supporters the GOP needed to preserve their majority because they were the only ones who could protect Trump (knowing he’s corrupt). While he was chairman of the committee, he rushed information to the White House (they already had) that the committee was investigating, which was basically giving them a heads up. He recused himself from the Russia investigation after being accused of leaking material to the media and the White House. He pushed out the memo condemning the FBI (without specifying any laws broken) for conducting surveillance on suspected spies. He’s been a champion of debunked conspiracy theories clearing Russia of meddling and helping Trump.

Really? Devin Nunes did something corrupt? Shocking.

At this time, Nunes needs to remove himself from the committee. If this is true, he failed to report his actions. If this is true, he’s just as guilty as Trump. Being that he served on the 2016 Trump campaign, he shouldn’t be on the committee in the first place.

Nunes’ constituents and all Americans would be better served if his congressional seat and spot on the Intelligence Committee were occupied by Devin’s cow.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.