Trump Corruption

Cash and Coups


During most of the time Republicans were screaming about Hunter Biden’s laptop without any substance to speak of, Jared Kushner was sitting on top of $2 billion received from the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia. Yes, that’s the same crown prince who ordered the execution of a Washington Post journalist. Also, while MAGAts were screaming about Hunter Biden, there was the existence of texts from Donald Trump Jr. to Trump chief-of-staff Mark Meadows about stealing the election before the election was called.

Republicans have been screaming about this laptop bullshit for over two years without providing any substance as to why it’s important. So far, the bulk of their argument is that since it exists, it means there was corruption from Hunter Biden which means there’s corruption from President Joe Biden. They also say there’s evidence of Hunter using drugs, which we already know, and that the laptop has images of Hunter having sex with minors, which is not true.

What is true is there’s an email from a business contact in Ukraine thanking Hunter for introducing him to Vice President Joe Biden at a dinner with a dozen other people in public. There’s another email, after the Obama presidency from a Chinese business contact, that mentions giving Joe Biden a cut, and there’s a third email from Hunter saying Joe Biden wants nothing to do with the deal, which never got off the ground. A lot of this is in code, but that’s all they have.

Photos have been posted that Republicans claim show Hunter smoking crack, but Hunter’s drug use and addictions are public knowledge. Hunter and his father have been open about this. Also, how do you know it’s crack he’s smoking? Photos of someone smoking crack or marijuana are just photos of someone smoking. They don’t fly in court. The claim that child pornography is on the laptop comes straight from InfoWars. Also, keep in mind that this laptop was in the possession of Rudy Giuliani.

One thing that is a fact is Hunter Biden was never a member of the White House staff in the Obama or Biden administrations or ever given the responsibility of international diplomacy. But Jared Kushner was.

Jared Kushner, along with his wife, was on the staff of the Trump White House (sic). In case you forgot, Jared is married to Ivanka, Donald Trump’s daughter. In case you’re a Republican, that makes Jared Donald Trump’s son-in-law.

Jared was put in charge of a lot of stuff, like immigration and denying states medical equipment during the COVID pandemic. He was also involved with foreign policy, outside the boundaries of the State Department which frustrated the entire department. Part of Jared’s job was to build a relationship with Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia.

Jared and MBS, the Crown Prince, liked to communicate through WhatsApp, a phone app that’s encrypted and is an excellent way to talk in secret so your conversations are NOT archived, as required by the Presidential Records Act. Basically, it’s a great way to talk privately when you’re involved in some sketchy shady shit. Jared is a big fan of back-channel communications and asked the Russians to create a backchannel to talk to the Trump administration (sic).

The Crown Prince is not a nice guy. He ordered the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a Saudi journalist under the protection of the United States and employed by The Washington Post. Khashoggi was murdered inside Saudi Arabia’s Turkish embassy where they dismembered him with a bone saw. Jared, who probably sees himself as a prince, is buddy-buddy with the Crown Prince, a ruthless person who orders murders. Jared helped broker $110 billion in weapon sales to Saudi Arabia over the next decade and defended the Kingdom from congressional criticism over its involvement in the Yemeni Civil War and the murder of Khashoggi.

During this time, Jared’s failing 5th Avenue property, 666, was bailed out by a Canadian asset company that signed a 99-year lease and paid a near-century’s worth of rent upfront. This saved Kushner from defaulting on a mortgage he couldn’t afford which would have brought all his debtors down on him. One of the owners of the Canadian asset company is the nation Qatar. The deal came through right after Jared helped negotiate the end of Saudi Arabia’s blockade of Qatar. I’m sure the timing was just a coincidence. Qatar even denied they knew it was going down even though it was widely reported and Jared’s company had sough investment from them before. But the Canadian company was a much better attempt at hiding their involvement.

Jared had financial involvement with multiple foreign nations before Trump became president (sic). That should have automatically disqualified him from working in the White House. It took over a year for him to receive a security clearance as he had to reapply three times as he kept omitting important business and relationship details on his applications. Remembering stuff is hard. Finally, Trump, as president (sic), ordered that Jared and Ivanka both be given security clearances despite what the background checks found.

Jared’s newly formed private equity firm, Affinity Partners, received $2 billion from a fund led by the Crown Prince six months after he left the White House. The Saudi fund’s advisory board objected to the investment. According to the minutes of the meeting, the board cited “the inexperience of the Affinity Fund management”; the possibility the kingdom would be responsible for “the bulk of the investment and risk”; due diligence on the fledgling firm’s operations that found them “unsatisfactory in all aspects”; a proposed asset management fee that “seems excessive”; and “public relations risks” from Jared’s prior role as a senior adviser to his daddy-in-law, President (sic) Donald Trump.

Basically, the advisory board cited that Jared had zero experience in this sort of business enterprise, is inept, is shady as fuck, and that eventually, the Saudi fund would end up eating its investment because it fucked up and got into business with a Trump.

Mohammad bin Salman ignored the advice and invested $2 billion anyway. This was back in July of 2021 and we just now finding out about it. The $2 billion probably isn’t all from MBS, as it’s a fund, but that amount is probably nothing to him anyway as reports put his net worth between $10-18 billion. He’ll be worth a lot more when he’s king.

This deal is not illegal. Jared had a right to do business with foreign nations after serving in a presidential administration. But, it sure does seem like a payoff of some sort for services already rendered. You would need testimony and documents to prove this was discussed while Jared was in the Trump administration and remember, he and MBS used WhatsApp.

There were tons of sketchy foreign deals with Javanka during the Trump presidency, like that time Ivanka was granted three trademarks in China the very same day she and daddy Dingdong had dinner with the Chinese president. What another coinkydink. And if photos had come out of Ivanka smoking crack during the dinner, Republicans would still be talking about Hunter Biden’s laptop.

Steve Baby FishMouth Mnuchin, Treasury Secretary for Trump, also received $1 billion from the Saudi fund.

Before the Trump administration (sic) was over, Donald Trump Jr was texting Mark Meadows about how his father could stay in power despite losing the election. Before there was a coup attempt, Jr was suggesting a coup attempt. In November 2020, before the election was called for President Biden but while it was still in the air, Jr texted Meadows on how they could overturn the results. They knew they were going to lose the election.

This included having Republican-controlled state Houses discard the electors legally won by Joe Biden, and putting forward “Trump electors” in their place. Referring to recounts and audits, he texted, “It’s very simple. We have multiple paths We control them all.”

He was also suggesting they at least create enough confusion that the election was never called or confirmed by Congress, then have the House vote for the president by state delegations. Even though the House was Democratic Party controlled, Republicans had the most state delegations.

Looking at how much money the Trumps were making off the presidency, it’s no wonder they tried to steal the 2020 election. The Trump presidency may be over but the Trump Crime Family is still in business. But hey, let’s keep talking about Hunter’s laptop.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trumping Burning Flushing


Donald Trump claims he doesn’t know what a burner phone is. His former National Security Adviser, John Bolton, said he knows exactly what a “boner” phone is and they had many conversations regarding the administration using “boner” phones.

Maybe that’s the truth. Donald Trump thought he and Bolton were talking about “boner” phones and not “burner” phones. I can honestly tell you that I don’t know what a “boner” phone is. Is it a cellphone used exclusively to send people photos of your junk? Does Brett Favre have one? I guess that would be a boner phone you’d want to burn.

White House logs, not to be confused with a log you’d take a photo of with your boner phone, reveal that on January 6, 2021, while the Capitol building was being attacked by Trump’s white nationalist terrorist goons, Donald Trump didn’t call anyone for seven hours and 38 minutes. Despite what the logs say that have been turned over to the House committee investigating Trump’s terrorist attack, he called House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, Vice-President (sic) Mike Pence (who the crowd was trying to hang with the noose they brought), and Senator and noted dumbass Tommy Tuberville. Donald Trump was calling people but he wasn’t using the White House phones, probably because he didn’t want any of his calls on record.

I’m not talking about the calls to McCarthy, Pence, or Senator Dumbass. I’m talking about the calls Donald Trump made that we don’t know about. Who else did he call? What was he organizing? Did he call the goon counsel set up in a nearby hotel that had planned out and orchestrated the attack? Was he calling Congressman Jim Jordan for Jordan to later say, “I don’t know when we talked”? Was he calling Miss Chloe, the 1-800 pyschic to see if she thought he’d be reinstated? Was he calling to see if the terrorists had enough rope to hang Mike Pence? Was he calling Putin to tell him he’s a genius? Was he calling more secretaries of state to tell them to “find the votes”? Was he calling Mar-a-Lago to tell them to install the new MAGA-load power toilets so he wouldn’t have to flush classified documents and criminal evidence 15 times? Maybe Donald Trump was calling one of those places that cashes checks, gives out payday loans with a 400 percent interest rate, gives out cash for car titles, and sells burner phones…so he could order more burner phones.

Remember that Jared Kushner went to the Russians to establish a back-channel for secret communications the CIA couldn’t track. Do you think Jared did that on his own? It’s the same idea as using burner phones.

A burner phone is a cheap phone that anyone can get. You don’t need a credit card to secure the account. You buy the phone, the number, and the minutes. It’s something criminals use to organize crimes, then throw away. In 2018, The New York Times reported that Donald Trump had as many as three iPhones at a time to contact people…that were not connected to the government. That means these things weren’t even secured and every time Donald Trump was using one, someone nefarious was listening in…in addition to nefarious Trump and the nefarious person he was calling. And Republicans lost their shit over Hillary’s server.

Donald Trump is corrupt. While conservatives are losing their minds over a laptop that may or may not belong to Hunter Biden that they have no clue to what its relevance to anything is, they forget that Donald Trump is a crook. Oh, Hunter Biden made deals in Moscow? Donald Trump made deals in Moscow and even attempted to bribe Vladimir Putin. Oh, you don’t like that Hunter got jobs and deals based on his father’s office? Jared Kushner got bail outs from foreign nations for his shitty buildings in Manhattan while Trump was president and he was playing Secretary of State. Hunter Biden is being investigated for not paying taxes, and NOT being investigated for being a laptop owner. Donald Trump is also being investigated for not paying taxes. Donald Trump is also being investigated for a lot of other devious shit.

Donald Trump fabricated the values of his property for loans and in tax filings. He would literally lie about how many floors a building had, hoping nobody would get in the elevator and count the buttons.

Donald Trump ran a fake charity which he used as a political campaign tool. The man took other people’s donations to his charity and bought souvenirs for himself, like paintings of himself. Trump has been banned from operating a charity in the state of New York because of the corruption with the Trump Foundation. The Clinton Foundation has never been found to be corrupt or dishonest in any way and is still operating and functioning as an actual legitimate charity and not a slush fund for its namesake.

Donald Trump ran a fake university, was sued, and later settled to pay his former “students” $25 million, which he did not pay. A friend of his, a business partner in his Las Vegas hotel, paid the $25 million. I’m not aware of why someone giving the president (sic) of the United States $28 million (I guess that extra $3 million was a bonus) isn’t currently being investigated because it sounds like a bribe. Keep in mind, Jimmy Carter sold his peanut farm after winning the presidency to avoid the appearance of conflict. If Donald Trump had owned a peanut farm, every Saudi diplomat and Republican would be eating a shit ton of peanuts.

Speaking of, Donald Trump kept all his businesses operating, which of course received tons of foreign investments. His hotel in Washington was the hot spot for Republicans and foreign diplomats. One of his cabinet members tried to buy a mattress from the Trump Hotel because it’s apparently the only place in Washington, D.C. where a person can get a decent used mattress that thousands of goons had slept on. William Barr once rented the banquet room of the Trump Hotel for a party, while he was the Attorney General. Rudy Giuliani did most of his goon plotting with Igor and Lev at the Trump Hotel bar. Trump tried to prevent the site of the FBI building from becoming a hotel because it would compete against his hotel. Also, the Trump Hotel is on government property Trump is leasing, which made Donald Trump his own landlord. But I’m sure there was never a conflict of interest.

Donald Trump played a lot of golf at a lot of resorts while president. Of course, he owned each resort he went to which forced the government to pay him for him to stay at his own resorts. The guy even charged the Secret Service rental fees for golf carts so they could protect him. He literally charged the government to protect him. He’s still doing it today as he hasn’t refused Secret Service protection.

Remember how Trump supporters boasted that he donated his salary? Of course, he was also raking in millions from staying at his own properties. He raked in millions from foreigners and Republicans staying at his properties (the Saudis would rent rooms at various Trump Hotels but not stay in them). He’s raking in millions because every dollar donated to his campaigns goes right back into the Trump Organization because every campaign event is held at a Trump property. Is Trump donating back his government pension? I haven’t heard that he is. Has he refused the office allowance given to former presidents (sic)? No. Do you know what the limit is on the office expense? There isn’t one. We’re still giving Donald Trump a blank check.

I guarantee that when Donald Trump builds his presidential (sic) library, it will be on property he owns.

On top of all that, we still don’t know where all the money went that was donated to the Trump Inaugural Committee. It didn’t cost $107 million for a tractor parade and Three Doors Down.

Do you hear the idiots upset over Hunter’s laptop asking anything about Donald Trump taking government documents to his golf resort with him? Do you hear them ask about him flushing documents? Do you hear them asking about Trump’s use of burner phones?

There’s not a lot John Bolton has ever been right about, but other than the boner part, he had it right when he said, “Criminal gangs in the United States use burner phones. Terrorists around the world use boner…burner phones.”

Donald Trump is a criminal, his organization and family are his criminal gang, and he’s a terrorist leader who ordered a terrorist attack against the government. We need to find the evidence from his burner phones so we can gather the evidence around his terrorist attack and send the boner-head to prison.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Favors And War Crimes


Just in case you haven’t been paying attention during the past decade or so, Donald Trump is a vile disgusting racist grifting narcissistic conman who puts himself first before other people and his own nation. And if you have been paying attention and are still making excuses for him, then you’re vile and disgusting too, but keep reading. MAGAts need to read what I write more than anyone else.

Donald Trump is a racist. He’s a sexist. He’s a bully. He’s a thief. He’s a con artist. This man ran a fake university and a fake charity while denying rental opportunities to minorities, refusing to pay contractors he made business deals with while boasting about sexually assaulting women, and desiring to date his own daughter. This man has cheated on every person in his life, from business partners to girlfriends to wives to the nation he promised to protect and defend. He spent his four years in the White House grifting taxpayers, diplomats, and campaign contributors. The man demands loyalty while giving none. Let’s not forget he told over 30,000 lies in a four-year span.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump attempted to bribe Vladimir Putin by giving him the penthouse in a Moscow Trump Tower in exchange for Putin’s approval of the tower’s construction. That is illegal.

Also during the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump publicly asked Putin to assist his campaign and give him valuable resources. That is illegal. Donald Trump asked Russia to release 30,000 lost emails from Hillary Clinton. Donald Trump later said he was joking but Russia started hacking into the computers of the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign that same day.

During the 2016 campaign, Donald Trump accepted Russia’s assistance by reading their hacked emails during campaign rallies.

During the 2016 campaign, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign invited Russian lobbyists claiming to have dirt on Hillary Clinton to their campaign headquarters in Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan. Attending that meeting on behalf of Donald Trump was idiot son number one, Donald Trump Jr, idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner, and Paul Manafort, the idiot campaign manager, who had been a campaign strategist for Ukraine’s former pro-Russia president. The Trump campaign’s defense here is that they didn’t get anything good from the Russians which is like saying it’s OK to rob a bank if the safe turns out to be empty.

Donald Trump also claimed the meeting was about Americans adopting Russian children. He later admitted it was political and opposition research after he was busted. It’s illegal to take campaign contributions from foreigners and especially foreign governments. The Trump campaign was seeking campaign material to help Trump win the election.

An offer was made to Donald Trump Jr. from a Russian oligarch, which was delivered by a mutual friend. The friend, Rob Goldstone, emailed that the Crown Prosecutor of Russia “offered to provide the Trump campaign with some official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia and would be very useful to your father.”

Donald Trump Jr’s reply was, “I love it.”

In 2017, Trump Jr released a statement using the Russian adoption bullshit explanation. It was later revealed that Donald Trump Sr, who had denied knowledge of the meeting, wrote the statement.

During the 2016 campaign, George Papadopoulos was hired by the Trump campaign as an adviser. Within two weeks, he was approached by someone with Russian contacts explaining the Russian government wanted to give him stolen emails from Hillary Clinton and John Podesta. Papadopoulos was invited to a meeting. He went to that meeting. The Russians he met told him “we are all very excited by the possibility of a good relationship with Mr. Trump.” He emailed at least seven campaign officials about these contacts and was encouraged to fly to Russia to obtain the Clinton emails.

Carter Page was an adviser to the Trump campaign who flew to Russia to give a speech and later lied about meeting members of that nation’s government. Donald Trump and Jeff Sessions described Page as a coffee boy for the campaign and they had no knowledge he was going to Russia. But campaign coordinator Corey Lewandowski had approved the trip and campaign co-chairman Sam Clovis asked Page to sign a non-disclosure agreement about the trip.
The Steel Dossier alleges that Carter Page was promised up to 19 percent of a Russian oil conglomerate if Trump was elected and he could eliminate sanctions placed on Russian oil by President Obama and Congress in 2012. Republicans in the House were outraged…that the FBI was investigating Carter Page during this time. Trump claimed the investigation was Obama wiretapping Trump Tower. It was not. Even William Barr, Trump’s goon Attorney General, claimed this was Obama spying on the Trump Campaign. Again, it was not.

Also during the campaign, Trump Jr. and Jared Kushner were offered election help from Saudi Arabia and other Gulf states. They never said no. In fact, after the campaign and before the inauguration, Kushy went to the Russian embassy and proposed they create a backchannel to communicate so U.S. intelligence wouldn’t hear about all the treasonony shenanigans they were up to.

Trump supporters excused Donald Trump’s involvement with everything claiming he didn’t know this or he didn’t know that, or everything was done by other people, and at the very worst, he was just joking. Whether it’s treason, promising to pay for services, provide an education you paid for, spending your donation on charity and not on himself, replacing Obamacare with “something better,” Crafting an infrastructure plan, building a wall and making Mexico pay for it, never having time for golf, or grabbing someone by the pussy, Trump is just joking.

When Donald Trump told Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky “I want you to do us a favor” in 2019, he wasn’t joking. Donald Trump dangled an invite to the White House and withheld military aid to Ukraine in exchange for Zelensky to announce an investigation into Hunter Biden’s business dealings in that nation.

Trump explained when he said “Do us a favor,” the “us” wasn’t him, but the United States of America. But, it’s hard to understand how announcing an investigation was doing anything beneficial for the United States…unless Trump believed his reelection was a favor for the United States.

The military aid he was withholding had already been approved by Congress for Ukraine so it could defend itself on the off chance that Russia would invade that nation someday. Let me know if you hear anything about that.

Donald Trump asked a foreign nation to help his campaign. He used government resources in doing so. Both are illegal. Today, the military aid Donald Trump used as extortion is being used by Ukraine to stop Vladimir Putin from killing their children.

Donald Trump was impeached for this act. Senator Susan Collins voted against impeachment saying Trump had “learned his lesson.” Yesterday, Donald Trump asked Vladimir Putin to help his 2024 presidential campaign. Donald Trump did learn a lesson which is that he can do anything illegal and Republicans won’t lift a finger to punish him. He also learned his supporters will defend any lawbreaking he does.

In a new interview, Donald Trump asked Vladimir Putin to release information regarding alleged dealings between eastern European oligarchs and Hunter Biden. These guys can not get over Hunter Biden. Did Hunter Biden invite Trump to prom, who then went and bought a pretty dress and waited on the front porch all night just for Hunter never to show up, who was probably already at the dance banging the prom queen? But I bet Trump did look pretty in that dress.

And hey, if we’re not going to vote for someone because his kids are goons, we don’t need foreign dirt on the Trump kids.

Trump has claimed that Hunter Biden received millions of dollars from the wife of Moscow’s late mayor, Yury Luzhkov. Trump said, “She gave him $3.5 million so now I would think Putin would know the answer to that. I think he should release it.”

Trump might want to be careful asking Putin to release anything because doing so while with the distraction of bombing Ukrainian civilians might make the Russian president release the wrong information. The next thing you, we all get to see the pee-pee tape. Is there a pee-pee tape? As Trump said, “I think Putin would know the answer to that.”

Also, Trump is leaving out that he himself sought to do business with the mayor of Moscow. Remember that entire Trump Tower thing where he tried to bribe Putin? Yeah, Putin knows about that too.

Keep in mind that Trump is so vile, that after calling Putin a “genius” for his war strategy, he’s now asking the Russian dictator for a favor while he’s bombing apartments, malls, hospitals, churches, playgrounds, schools, and baby hospitals. Maybe for Trump, Vladimir Putin can be a multitasker.

Donald Trump has not sent a condemnation to Vladimir Putin for his war crimes. All Trump has sent Putin is a request for a political favor. Maybe it’s not too late for that penthouse.

Narcissist Donald Trump doesn’t care if children are dying whether it’s from Vladimir Putin murdering them through his war crimes or from Trump’s immigration policies.

Putin is currently taking a blood bath and Trump is handing him the rubber ducky while scrubbing his back.

I’ll end this the way I started it: If you’re still defending and supporting Donald Trump, you’re vile and disgusting.

Music note: Today’s drawing music was what my random player offered, which was The Strokes, the Hives, Incubus, Weezer, Alice in Chains, Audioslave, Cake, Kaiser Chiefs, and Franz Ferdinand.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trump Turdlings


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A New York state judge issued a ruling Thursday that Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, and Ivanka Trump must sit down and face questions from investigators over potential bank fraud, tax dodging, and shady real estate values. The judge wrote in his order that they must also turn over documents, those that haven’t been flushed yet, and the three turds must sit for depositions, probably in chairs, within the next 21 days. In case you’re a Republican, 21 days is three weeks.

The Trumps are also facing other investigations, criminal and civil, in Manhattan, Washington, D.C, and Atlanta. The Trumps don’t believe they should have to provide testimony, documents, or be held accountable for anything because they’re royalty and they smell better than us lowly commoners.

New York’s attorney general Letitia James has a civil investigation that’s been going on since 2020 and she claims to have “significant evidence of financial fraud.” Eric Trump has already been forced to testify. When Eric did testify, he invoked his Fifth Amendment right over 500 times. Remember when his father claimed anyone who had to invoke the Fifth was lying and probably a member of the mafia? Yeah, good times.

Trump and his turdlings have been smearing James to distract from the case. She responded by documenting how the Trump Organization has, allegedly, faked the value of at least six of its New York state properties. Last week, the Trump Organization’s longtime outside accounting firm, Mazars, ditched them as a client stating they can’t trust the documents the Trump Organization has given them. This is yet another example of someone close to Trump saying you can’t trust him. Duh.

The state’s civil investigation is also linking up with the Manhattan District Attorney’s criminal investigation into alleged tax dodging and financial fraud by the Trump Organization.

Trump, Ivanka, and Jr. will be forced to testify about how so many family real estate development projects and properties had wildly fluctuating values that seemed high whenever they needed loans but low whenever it came time to pay taxes.

As the great John Fogerty sang:
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord, don’t they help themselves, yeah.
But when the taxman comes to the door
The house look a like a rummage sale

During the two-hour court hearing over the decision to force the Trumps to testify, part of their lawyer’s argument that they shouldn’t have to is because Hillary Clinton spied on Donald Trump. Shockingly, that lawyer wasn’t Sidney Powell, Rudy Giuliani, the MyPillow Guy, or Mr. Hanky.

Before the hearing, Eric tweeted, “On Thursday, our team will be in front of a New York Judge outlining the blatantly unethical behavior of @TishJames the NY Attorney General. There are 81 pages of videos, tweets & fundraising solicitations (some as recent as two weeks ago) in our lawsuit for the judge to see.”

It didn’t work.

Hopefully, the family that goons together goes to prison together.

Music Note: I listened to The Beatles’ Revolver album while drawing today’s cartoon. It’s probably the only Beatles album where I don’t like any of Paul’s songs.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Flushles The President


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Wouldn’t it be funny if the flushed documents thing is just a ruse to cover up that it’s Donald Trump naturally clogging all the White House toilets? Think about it. He can’t keep his teeth in his mouth and he eats nothing but Big Macs and KFC. It’s highly unlikely he’s chewing his food.

New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman has a new book, Confidence Man, which reports that White House staffers would periodically find toilets in the president’s (sic) residence clogged with paper.

While in office, Trump would tear up documents and staffers would routinely tape them back together. After he was defeated in the 2020 election and left town before the Biden inauguration, he took at least 15 boxes of documents with him to Mar-a-Lago, perhaps to feed to bedbugs. Now, we find out he was also flushing documents while in the White House.

Naturally, Donald Trump issued a statement denying the flushing which means he probably left floaters for others to discover throughout his entire life. Trump was here. He could probably take a dump on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters.

Trump’s statement said, “Another fake story, that I flushed papers and documents down a White House toilet, is categorically untrue and simply made up by a reporter in order to get publicity for a mostly fictitious book.” If this continues the pattern from every Trump statement before it, that means the allegations in Haberman’s book are true.

Destroying these documents is a violation of the Presidential Records Act. The House Oversight Committee is investigating the 15 boxes Trump stole and took to Mar-a-Lago and the National Archives have asked the Justice Department to investigate whether Trump’s handling of these official records violated federal law. Joe the Plumber has not released a statement.

In 2019 at a business roundtable, Donald Trump went on a rant about showers, sinks, faucets, and toilets. Everyone speculated that he was probably talking about water flow when he said, “People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.” But now, I guess he was talking about the great difficulty in flushing government documents and not just undigested chicken bones from KFC.

I guess what Poopsie was talking about was that America needs larger toilets for larger loads. Big ass toilets made with big flushes for big asses would truly make American great again.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trojan President


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One of the failed plots in Donald Trump’s attempt to overturn the 2020 presidential election and become the United States’ first dictator was to seize voting machines.

A new report in The New York Times reveals that Donald Trump considered ordering three different government agencies to seize voting machines before the January 6 attack on the Capitol.

First, Trump tried to convince his Attorney General William Barr that the Justice Department had the authority to seize voting machines. Despite arguments from goons like Sidney Powell and Michael Flynn, Barr told Trump the Justice Department has zero authority to seize voting machines.

You know it’s a really bad idea when Trump’s personal defender, William Barr, wouldn’t go along with it. Barr bailed on this shit show a month before his term was to expire.

Next, there was the idea of using the military to seize voting machines, which was advocated by disgraced general and Putin stooge Michael Flynn. This idea was so bad that even Rudy Giuliani was against it. This is like the time I ordered anchovies on a pizza and even my dog, an animal that would lick his own butt, wouldn’t touch it. Rudy’s the dog here and has been known to lick Trump’s butt. Rudy went along with Italian satellites, bamboo ballots, George Soros and Hugo Chavez meddling, corrupt voting machines, and appointing Sidney Powell as a special counsel to investigate voter fraud, but ordering the military to seize voting machines was the anchovies on that shit pizza.

The third try was to get Giuliani to call the Department of Homeland Security to seize voting machines, but that agency too denied the requests.

This scheme was to seize the machines so they could claim they were corrupt and use that argument to convince swing states to name alternative electors, giving their states, that President Joe Biden won, to Trump.

There is no secret that Donald Trump tried to overturn the election. He even said so over the weekend stating at one of his hate rallies he wanted Mike Pence to “overturn” the election. He even suggested at the same rally that if he’s reelected, or can steal the 2024 presidential election, he will pardon the white nationalist terrorists who attacked the Capitol on January 6, 2021. And then he promoted “protests” at places that are investigating him.

After the Supreme Court ruled the National Archives had to turn over White House documents requested by the House January 6 committee, the National Archives revealed that some of the 700 documents they sent had been ripped up by Donald Trump.

These documents include diaries, schedules, handwritten notes, speeches, and remarks. There are also reports there are unsigned executive orders that were ripped apart. If this is true, were they orders to seize voting machines? Maybe there were orders we don’t know about yet like every Giuliani fart was to be counted as another ballot for Trump. Wow, Trump did win in a stinky landslide. Maybe there was an order to put anchovies on electors, which would keep anyone from counting them.

It was documented as early as 2018 that Trump liked to rip apart documents. After a meeting with Vladimir Putin where only his and the Russian dictator’s translators were present, Trump destroyed his translator’s notes.

A records management analyst and another staffer for the White House would spend hours using Scotch tape to piece records back together that Trump had torn apart. After the analyst told Trump he needed to stop destroying records, Trump fired both staffers and banned Scotch tape from the White House. Sniffing airplane glue was still allowed.

It’s probably illegal for a president to destroy White House documents…or for anyone to destroy White House documents.

Stephen Gillers, a New York University law professor said destroying White House documents “could be a crime under several statutes that make it a crime to destroy government property if that was the intent of the defendant.” He explained further, “A president does not own the records generated by his own administration. The definition of presidential records is broad. Trump’s own notes to himself could qualify and destroying them could be the criminal destruction of government property.”

Since the documents are government property, and not Trump’s to do with as he wishes, it may still be a crime to destroy them, even if it’s not an attempt to destroy evidence.

Usually, when you destroy documents, it’s because you don’t want anyone to see them. Have you ever sent bank or tax records through a shredder? Why did you do that? Because you didn’t want anyone else to see them. Donald Trump destroyed documents because he was hiding shady shifty shit. There are probably thousands of documents and evidence of Trump’s crimes we’ll never know about. I still want to know what was on those translator’s notes.

I really hope a tally of all of Trump’s crimes is being kept somewhere by very important law enforcement people. It’s been over a year since Trump left the White House. It’s past time for prosecutions to begin on the Trump crime syndicate.

Music Note: The music I listened to while drawing today’s cartoon was by the Cranberries.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Billionaires In Space


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When you see bored billionaires spending their money to go into space or say they didn’t know taxes were supposed to be paid on fringe benefits like cars, apartments, and tuition, you know we need to raise taxes on these rich-ass bastards.

American billionaires Jeff Bezos, South African/Canadian/American (make up your mind) billionaire Elon Musk, British rich bastard Richard Branson, and Russian/Israeli miser Yuri Milner are all fucking around with space. I predict, like their fellow rich alum Thurston Howell III, one of these rich fuckos is going to be end up stranded on an island.

When you are spending $100 million to build a giant laser to shoot silicon microchips into space to see if an alien will catch one of them, you may have too much money on your hands. That’s what Yuri Milner is up to. This isn’t as much scientific research as it is an expensive hobby. What’s he going to do next? Shoot up small dogs to see if they can bark in space? Milner is one of the poorest billionaires in this race with his wealth estimated somewhere between $3-$4 billion.

Elon Musk’s company, SpaceX, plans to colonize Mars, but before they get that on, he’s going to use his craft, Starship (good job with the naming, guys) to fly into space, open a door, and scoop up space litter, which is probably less hazardous than scooping kitty litter. Each launch of Starship will cost around $2 million. Elon is worth around $150 billion.

Jeff Bezos, who is worth about $187 billion, isn’t just entering the space tourism industry. He’s planning to shoot his own ass into space. Bezos is planning to launch on July 20 on board the New Shepard, the rocket ship made by his space company, Blue Origin. Bezos auctioned off a seat as well, with the price at $28 million. This trip is expected to last 11 minutes while Amazon can’t deliver new kitty litter within 11 days (HURRY!!!). You can probably go to an arcade and find one of those little rocket ship-shaped rides for toddlers that can shake your ass for 11 minutes for about 50 cents.

Richard Branson is poor compared to Bezos and Musk, but he’s about to beat all of them into space. He’s scheduled to lift off on board the VSS Unity, his ship built by his space tourism company, Virgin Galactic. One person has already been killed by Branson’s space hobby.

Then you have Donald Trump, the poorest of these billionaires, and unfortunately, isn’t being shot off to another planet. Trump claims he’s worth $10 billion but since everything that comes out of his mouth is like a litter box after your cat ate Indian food, he’s lying. Trump’s worth is probably closer to $2 billion. In the past, Trump has told us his taxes are too complicated for us to understand, yet during a recent rally, he displayed he doesn’t understand taxes. After his corporation and chief financial officer were charged for tax crimes, he said, “They go after good, hard-working people for not paying taxes on a company car. You didn’t pay tax on the car or a company apartment. You used an apartment because you need an apartment because you have to travel too far where your house is. You didn’t pay tax. Or education for your grandchildren. I don’t even know. Do you have to? Does anybody know the answer to that stuff?”

Yes, Tiny. You’re supposed to pay taxes on gifts. Pretty much everybody knows the answer “to this stuff.” The guy who has been hiding his tax returns for years and told us he knows taxes better than anyone, is asking if people have to pay taxes on expensive items. He also admitted to the crime. Oops. Maybe Donald Trump is trying to land in court before his billionaire compadres take off for space.

Trump is trying to get his poor, food-stamp-spending, white nationalist cult upset that rich people are being forced to pay taxes. And it’ll probably work. I mean, these fuckers are already upset over a single black mother collecting $200 a month to feed her baby, and aren’t even aware that Boeing receives over $13 billion a year in taxpayer subsidies.

I’m a big fan of raising taxes on the rich, and I’m a bigger fan of going after them for when they avoid paying taxes.

Donald Trump only paid $700 in taxes for some years while also engaging in shady tax schemes. Last year, Jeff Bezos tax rate was 0.98 percent. His company, Amazon, didn’t pay any taxes.

I propose we raise taxes on all these billionaires and rub their faces in used kitty litter.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Prisonburgh For Weisselberg


The Trump Crime Family, er, the Trump Organization was charged yesterday for running a scheme to help its executives avoid paying taxes by compensating them with benefits hidden from authorities. Its top executive, Allen Weisselberg, was also charged yesterday for not paying taxes on $1.7 million in perks that should have been reported as income.

For those of you who are Trump supporters and living in yee-haw states, let me explain this in a way you may understand: Let’s say your brother-in-law, who is also your brother, helped you paint and unclog your outhouse. Instead of giving him cash, you paid him with seven cases of Milwaukee’s Best and four packs of Beech-nut chewing tobacco. You may think that’s a big payment for unclogging the shitter, but let’s assume you don’t chew your food. Anyway, you need to report the pissy beer and chew as income and pay taxes on it. For this, I’m assuming your tax bill will be around 30 cents.

The Manhattan District Attorney’s office described it as a “weeping and audacious illegal payments scheme.” They said while the perks for Weisselberg were kept off the company’s books, they were still recorded in an internal spreadsheet. When you’re grifting, you gotta spread that shit out.

Keep in mind, if all of this is true, Weisselberg isn’t just the recipient of the company’s scheme, he would have been in charge of it as the company’s top executive. There is only one other person in the company in top of Weisselberg and his name is Donald J. Trump.

Trump had all sorts of things to say about this, calling it a “continuation of the witch hunt that started when I came down the escalator,” and accusing the district attorney and state’s attorneys of partisan politics. Authorities should have been looking into Trump after that time he came down the escalator talking about dating ten-year-olds.

Trump claims Weisselberg is innocent and is a good man. But what will Trump say if Weisselberg flips? Will he change his tune on his top executive the way he did on Michael Cohen?

With the company being charged, you can’t arrest a company. It’s not like they’re going to march Trump Tower off 5th Avenue and punish it by sending it to Staten Island. Usually when a corporation is convicted in a crime, no humans are held accountable…but the company may be broken up.

The big questions are: Will Weisselberg flip on Trump? Will Trump be charged? Will any other goons from the corporation be charged? Will Trump’s kids be charged? Who else has been paid in perks that weren’t reported as income? Will the walls to Trump Tower come tumbling down…or the walls in Mar-a-Lago, or Trump World Tower, or Bedminster, or Doral, or Turdberry?

According to reports, Weisselberg was often paid with cars and tuition for his grandchildren. Will his next payment be in the form of incarceration? This is what loyalty to Trump gets you.

Weisselberg swears he won’t flip on Trump which reminds me of something I recently watched on Netflix.

It’s a documentary about crime in New York City in the 70s and 80s. Rudy is in the documentary which is ironic since he’ll probably be in a future documentary on crime in New York City. In this documentary, the feds were sneaking into a mob-run restaurant to search and plant wiretaps, but there was a vicious dog inside the place. That dog was all like, “You’re not coming in here, assholes. This is my home. I guard this place. They pay me in pasta and meatballs. They love me and I’m loyal in return. You’ll have to kill me before you can enter this place. Oh, what you got? You got a taser, tough guy? Oh, yeah? You think a little tasing is going to make me turn against my people? I dare you to tase me…c’mon…tase me and see what happens. See what happens, motherfu….HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!…that hurt! What the hell was that? That was the taser? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me what a taser feels like? Fuck this place. You guys can do whatever you want. I’m going over to this table and I’m gonna crawl under it stay out of your way.”

And that’s what happened. That barking and growling dog who was baring his teeth got tased, turned around, and crawled under a table. The FBI did everything they wanted to in the place while the guard dog just watched. He probably even pointed out a few things. “Hey, did you check that second cabinet? Yeah, you’ll find some weird shit in there. By the way, do you know when I’ll be able to feel my nipples again?”

Weisselberg may be facing spending the rest of his life in prison if he remains loyal to Trump. I don’t know about his nipples, but that dog’s going to turn.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Weisselberg And Shitweasel


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After two years of being investigated by the state of New York and the Manhattan District Attorney, who decided to combine their forces to become an anti-Trump version of Super Friends, we have gotten to the point of a grand jury.

I don’t think there’s much question if Donald Trump will be indicted or not. There’s an old saying a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich is that’s what the district attorney wants…and this DA is hungry. The real question here is: Why did it take two years? And we’re just now getting to a grand jury which has a six month lease on hearing testimony? Also, this is a “special” grand jury so it’s an even bigger deal than your run-of-the-mill everyday grand juries.

What’s so special about a special grand jury? A regular grand jury decides if charges should be brought against a suspect. A “special” grandy jury is when it involves organized crime. And trust me on this, Donald Trump may not be very well organized, but he is a criminal. The weird thing about it taking over two years in New York is that Donald Trump spent his entire presidency soliciting corruption without even trying to hide it.

Donald Trump accepted foreign money into his hotels and resorts while he was president. Saudi Arabia and other nations would rent rooms at Trump hotels in Washington, New York, and Chicago while not actually staying in the hotels. They wanted to bribe Trump without the ickiness of actually staying in his nasty hotels. They would occasionally stick underlings in his hotels while the major diplomats would stay at better venues. It’s nice to sleep without things crawling on you.

Every Republican event over the past five years has been held at a Trump venue to curry favor with Donald Trump. Why? Because every Republican knows Donald Trump is corrupt. They don’t think it’s a big deal because, eh, they’re Republicans. Republicans don’t care about corruption. Today, “corrupt Republican” is redundant.

One of Donald Trump’s corrupt cabinet secretaries wanted to purchase a mattress from his hotel, like it was the only place in Washington to purchase a mattress. I seriously doubt the hotel specializes in selling mattresses, though I hear if you do buy a mattress from a Trump property, they come pre-bedbugged. Another corrupt Trump cabinet secretary (that’s redundant too), William Barr, threw a party at the Trump Hotel ballroom in D.C. Imagine having to be seen at a William Barr party so you can be considered one of the “cool kids.” At some point, every Republican in Washington had lunch or dinner at the Trump Hotel. It’s where Rudy, Lev, and Igor would plot their schemes while rubbing their hands together and saying, “Bwahahahahaha.” Republicans and foreign diplomats wanted to be seen giving business to Donald Trump, which in return, was giving us the businesses.

Donald Trump spent nearly every weekend at one of his golf resorts. This was to force the government to spend money at Trump properties. After he was placed into office by Russian goons, he raised the rates on his rooms which he rented to the Secret Service. On top of that, the Secret Service had to rent rooms while they weren’t even using them just in case “the president” (sic) might want to go to one of his resorts that weekend. Now that he’s made Mar-a-Lago his residence, he’s raised the rent on rooms for the Secret Service. He’s even forced the Secret Service to rent golf carts to follow him while he cheats at golf and steals balls from little boys. He literally charges the government to protect him. Before he left office, he extended protection for his corrupt kids. Not because he’s worried about their safety but because it’s more rooms to charge us at his resorts.

For the past five years, you have been paying for rooms at Trump resorts while never having the privelige of staying in one yourself and being covered head-to-toe in itchy bitey crawling bedbugs. Poor you.

He’s spending the summer at his New Jersey resort and his penthouse in Trump Tower. You know the Secret Service is spending a lot of money at both locations. When Trump became his party’s nominee in 2016, the Secret Service rented space at Trump Tower, where the campaign HQ was being run and hosting Russians to give dirt on Hillary Clinton. Eventually, the Secret Service moved out and camped in a van on the street. Why? Because Donald Trump kept jacking up the rent and the van didn’t have bedbugs. He did the same thing to his campaign and to the Republican National Committee. No, he didn’t pay the rent for his campaign. Donors did.

During his presidency, Mike Pence visited Dublin (in case you’re a Republican, that’s in Ireland). What was really Dublin was the corruption (see what I did there?). Instead of staying in a hotel in Dublin, where Donald Trump doesn’t own any property, Pence had to fly 180 miles out of his way, and back the next day, to stay at a shitty Trump resort. Fortunately for Pence, creepy icky things don’t crawl on him out of professional courtesy. They have more courtesy for ass-kissing Pence than MAGA terrorists who raided the Capitol with nooses while chanting, “Hang Mike Pence.”

Military flights were also moved around Europe so military personnel would be forced to stay at Trump resorts. The administration made excuses for it, but they didn’t hide it.

Trump’s corrupt ambassador to the United Kingdom and owner of the New York Jets, Woody Would-Not-Ever-Win-A-Super-Bowl Johnson, tried to get the British Open (that’s a golf tournament) to be held at a Trump golf resort in the UK.

Trump himself attempted to get the G7 Summit held at his shitty bed-bug-infested resort in Miami, which is like the Bates Motel, if it had the charm and fewer bedbugs. Though I do hear Boris Johnson is also pre-bedbugged.

Trump’s entire administration was corrupt. Jared Kushner’s properties received bailouts from Persian Gulf nations. Kellyanne Conway hawked Ivanka’s products on TV. Government websites advertised for Trump properties. His family and the Kushners sold access to the presidency. Donald Trump even pardoned Steve Bannon after he was convicted for a corrupt fundraising scheme over building Trump’s racist border wall. Trump’s pardons, when not being used for political pandering, were bribes. Goons like Roger Stone don’t get pardons because they’re nice people to whom the system has been unfair to.

Trump is being investigated in New York for his hush payments to porn starts and nude models. He’s being investigated for shitty schemes like paying Ivanka as a consultant while she was also an employee. He’s being investigated for a lot of shady tax shit that’s has left him with teeny tiny tax bills…when he had tax bills. You thought I was going to refer to something else of his that’s “teeny” and “tiny,” didn’t you? Sorry to disappoint you, but today we’re totally focused on his corrupt business dealings and won’t be mentioning his teeny tiny penis that a porn star says looks like teeny tiny Toad, the mushroom guy in Mario Kart. Grow up.

One major thing Donald Trump did was declare different values for the same property in loan applications, insurance forms, and in taxes. The value was always a lot lower in his taxes. The guy has also promoted his towers as having more floors than they actually have…like people can’t count. Even Toad, the mushroom guy in Mario Kart who looks like Trump’s tiny penis, can probably count floors.

He’s also being investigated for giving gifts, like tuition for kids and grandkids, which may have been in a replacement for salaries. Some of these payments went to the chief financial person at the Trump Organization, Toad, the mushroom guy in Mario Kart who likes like Trump’s tiny dick.

No, that’s not right. The payments went to Allen Weisselberg (It’s not “Weaselberg.” I checked), who is his chief financial dude. Trump claimed his two idiot kids, Don Jr. and Toad…I mean, Eric, were going to run his business. But the real man in charge is Weisselberg. Don Jr. and Eric couldn’t find each other’s butts if they had butt magnets. Now, Weasel…I mean, Weisselberg is being investigated as is his son, who also worked for Trump. Hey, the family that engaged in corruption together stays corrupt together.

Now, will Weisselberg flip on Trump? Will his son? Will Rudy Giuliani, who is his second attorney to be investigated for doing shady shit for Trump? The answers for each of these is, yes, yes, and yes. Wouldn’t you flip on Trump? These guys are going to flip on Trump faster than Toad, the mushroom guy who looks like Trump’s tiny penis, in Mario’s Kart.

Since we’re not talking about Trump’s tiny penis and focused exclusively on criminal charges (it’s not against the law to have a tiny dick), don’t forget, Donald Trump is being investigated for threatening government officials in Georgia to “find the votes,” and for starting an insurrection in Washington. His attorneys are claiming he has presidential immunity from conviction for starting terrorist attacks. Seriously. And now, there’s a new story that before he was president, he attempted to bribe a United States senator to not investigate the New England Patriots in Spygate, which is ironic since he claimed President Obama spied on his political campaign. How does he know it wasn’t the New England Patriots spying on his campaign? Or, how does he know it wasn’t Toad, the mushroom guy from Mario Kart who looks like Trump’s tiny penis?

Donald Trump will be indicted. With so many investigations, it’s bound to happen. But will he ever wear prison orange? God, I hope so. This nation deserves some justice, and every Trump supporter needs his or her balloon popped. I think everyone in this nation would rather think of Trump every time they see prison orange, than think of him every time they see mushrooms…you know because of Toad from Mario Kart who looks like Trump’s tiny penis.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Rudy Raided


Cjones05012021

Someone posted on the internet yesterday, “First they came for Rudy and I did nothing for I was laughing my ass off too hard.”

Someone else claimed since Merrick Garland is head of the Justice Department now, it’s fascism because this is his revenge for Donald Trump stealing his Supreme Court seat after President Obama nominated him. No. It’s not fascism. It’s karma.

Rudy spent months rummaging around Ukraine looking for dirt on Joe Biden and his son, Hunter. He never found any but that didn’t stop him from making up a lot of shit. He even claimed to have found Hunter’s laptop; nothing came of that either.

Beyond his dealings and lying with Ukraine to help Donald Trump steal an election by gaining dirt on the opponent he feared most, Rudy conducted a huge campaign of lies election after the opponent Trump feared most kicked his ass.

Rudy claimed the election was stolen. He produced eyewitnesses more insane than he is. He provided affidavits from people stating they heard someone heard someone else might have witnessed something. He held press a conference in a parking lost of a landscaping firm called “Four Seasons” because he confused it for the hotel with the same name. The parking lot was next to a dildo store. During the press conference, his hair dye started running. During a hearing before a state legislative committee, he got the farts.

Rudy, who was once called “America’s mayor,” has become America’s joke.

After Trump and other surrogates claimed he never paid off porn stars, or at least didn’t know about it, Rudy went on Hannity, who had also been claiming there had been no porn star payoffs, and informed the world there had been porn star payoffs and the money was “funneled.” Typically when someone uses the word “funneled,” unless they’re making a cake, they’re doing something corrupt.

A long time ago, Rudy was respected. Before he was mayor of New York City, he was an Associate Attorney General and then the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York. Yesterday morning, FBI agents from the Southern District of New York came a knocking on Rudy’s door, and not to talk about old times.

It’s a big deal when any attorney gets raided by the FBI. It’s an even bigger deal for a president’s (sic) attorney to be raided by the FBI. But with Donald Trump, this is his second attorney to get raided by the FBI. But being someone’s attorney isn’t a license to be a partner in crime.

What was Rudy doing in Ukraine? Was he making money off the nation while engaging in election meddling? Was he representing Ukraine without registering as a foreign lobbyist? Was he there instigating more terrorists attacks or finding more cousins to marry? The FBI is trying to find out. How can anything be corrupt while working with goons named Lev and Igor? Now, Rudy has been rolled over by Lev and Igor who will soon be followed by Boris and Natasha.

The FBI raided Rudy’s Madison Avenue apartment and his Park Avenue office and reportedly took electronic devices. Rudy isn’t good with electronic devices. This is a guy who has butt-dialed reporters before engaging into a conversation about the Bidens, Bahrain, and needing cash.

Olivia Nuzzi, a reporter for New York Magazine, once wrote that during a meeting with Giuliani, he had three cell phones, and despite being a cyber security consultant, didn’t understand how to use any of them. She wrote, “Two of the devices were unlocked, their screens revealing open tabs and a barrage of banner notifications as they knocked into each other and reacted to Giuliani’s grip.”

“He accidentally activated Siri, who said she didn’t understand his command. ‘She never understands me,’ he said. He sighed and poked at the device, attempting to quiet her.”

And at the end of the meeting, he forgot to take one of the phones with him. Rudy learning figuring out how to swipe left would be like your grandfather figuring out TikTok.

If there are any files, texts, or call history on Rudy’s phones that provides evidence of corruption, do you think Rudy knew how to delete them or was even aware he should? If you’re a person who engaged in some sketchy dealings with Rudy and you had multiple conversations, calls, and texts with the guy, you have every right in the world to be worried.

Golly, I’m trying to think of who Rudy may have been calling on these devices the FBI seized yesterday.

Rudy denied ever talking to Donald Trump about receiving a preemptive pardon before he left the White House. Whether they actually talked about it or not (they did), you can bet your ass Donald Trump is wishing he had given one to Rudy. Trump gave pardons to other goons to keep them quiet. If he had given one to Rudy, the FBI wouldn’t have been at his house and office yesterday. Now, he’s in danger of Rudy talking. Hell, Rudy spills the beans when not making a deal.

For all we know, the FBI might even find new stuff they had no idea was going on. There are so many questions.

Will Rudy be charged with any crimes? Will Trump be implicated by Rudy’s stupidity? Will Trump be charged? Will Rudy roll over on Trump? Will Rudy and Trump both flee the country for a Moscow penthouse or maybe a villa in Pyongyang? How many times did Rudy fart during the raid? Will the FBI follow a trail of hair dye from Rudy to Trump?

Whether connected to Rudy or not, how much longer until Donald Trump is charged with a crime?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: